World #340

"Disgusting."

Red eyes gleamed in the dark.

"Right." A dry voice answered.

"Your wretched clan never fails to surprise me through its short-sightedness." An enormous head drew closer to the lone man who was standing in front of it. "Do you really expect me to be grateful? After everything you insects have done?"

There was a booming laugh.

"Not really, no." The man nodded.

"My container was weak, and in time… I would have escaped on my own." The eyes closed.

"I'm sure you were just biding your time, yes."

The Fox stopped laughing. One single red eye opened and it glared at the man.

"Did I perhaps ask you for an answer…?"

"Nah, you're right. Go on."

"Watch your mouth!" It snarled, releasing an uncomfortably warm exhale through its nostrils.

"My bad."

"…Your eyes are powerful tools. Both your own… and the one that belonged to Madara."

The man nodded easily. "Yeah, they're okay, I guess."

The Fox watched him, standing still.

"What an abomination. To think that—"

"Someone of your accursed bloodline got your filthy hands on it." The man nodded, completing the sentence for him. "Terrible, I know. My ocular powers and vile chakra, got it. Do I need to draw the parallels to Uchiha Madara or are we good…?"

"…"

"Thought so."

The Fox continued to stare.

"Well, are you going to leave or nah? I got you this sweet new body and all."

"There shall come a time you will regret it." The Fox laughed. "You will rue the day you—"

"Set me free. Okay." The man nodded. "You sure are very evil, K—… Nine-Tails. This is definitely not posturing."

With a last growl, the Nine-Tailed Fox departed, in its more human-sized body.

Uchiha Toru stared.

"Man, I hate dealing with that guy." Toru muttered. It was easier to deal with Bijū chakra without consciousness, really. "He could say thanks at least — just once."

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World-Eater's Den

"Naruto." Yugito called.

He turned around to face her, and stopped tinkering with… whatever that floating orb was.

"Yeah?" He smiled at her easily. "Wanna cuddle?"

"Yes — No, that's not what I'm here for."

"Ah, depraved sex it is, then." Naruto nodded, standing up with a grin. "You're lucky I'm such a caring husb—… lover, you girls have been running me ragged."

Yugito let out a throaty laugh.

"That's not it either."

"Oh." Naruto blinked in surprise. "Something up, then…?"

"Well, I don't know if you remember what we said about getting too involved with other worlds…" She began.

Naruto laughed. "So… Did you kill a despot and do you have a sudden need to install somebody else…?" He stared at her face. "Ah, that's not it either."

"Karin and I might have abducted a couple children."

"Oh." Naruto barked a laugh. "Well, okay, I guess. Sakura will bitch and we're going to have to get them a room, but that's all right."

Yugito felt the same traitorous lo-… affection she sometimes - maybe - tended to feel for him.

"They were a bit like stray cats and… No, I don't mean to keep them." Yugito explained. "I want to bring them back home — I might spend a few days there while I'm at it, it has been a long while."

"Well sure, I'll send a Shadow or two with you, then." Naruto shrugged.

"There won't be any need for that." She waved off, smiling.

Naruto stared at her belly dubiously, trying to recall how far along she was. He didn't voice anything out.

Yugito glared at him. "Just say it, then."

"…No need. But yeah, I'm not leaving you alone — that's exactly how you end up with a baby being born while the father's out there in the wild."

…

"Any news from the idiot and Orochimaru's daughter?" Naruto asked the rest of the Umi group.

"Nope."

"Which idiot?"

"I was with you."

"We told you no already."

"What she said."

"Nah."

"Orochimaru has a daughter?" Sakura frowned. "…Or do you mean Anko, maybe?"

"Not in our world." Toru intervened.

"Even then, that's pretty… disturbing." She scratched her chin.

"And so is she."

"That's not true — she could have been way worse." Karin shrugged.

"Considering… everything, I guess so." Naruto admitted.

"That's true." Toru nodded. "Just look at you — and he's not even your father."

"Orochimaru works pretty fast." Naruto smiled. "It didn't take long for him to corrupt the innocent child I was, back then."

Toru seemed conflicted, wanting to both insult him… and to not agree with him. He chose to remain silent. Naruto just nodded mockingly.

"Well, the way I see it, Gama is pretty insecure." Ino shrugged. She didn't need a full mental map of that guy's mind to say that — but she had made one, still. "So, unconsciously or not… he likely went someplace he could feel good about himself, where he has something that makes him stand out from the crowd. Perhaps someone that will look up to him."

"Hebi is trickier." Karin mused. "I know what you said, but—"

"She has had a pretty difficult life, and well… Orochimaru is Orochimaru. I would say she just wants to feel… normal." Ino continued.

"Oh, fuck!" Toru breathed out.

"What is it?" Sakura asked, feeling as though she was really missing some crucial information.

"They managed to land themselves into an Infinite Tsukuyomi!" He exclaimed.

"That's just a maybe." Ino frowned.

"Where else could that guy have gone to?" Toru stood up, and began pacing. "There's nowhere he could go where he would not be outdone by somebody else. It only makes sense — he's in a dream world!"

"Now that's a bit of an exaggeration." Karin frowned. "He's still decently strong and all — and Hebi doesn't exactly fit in this theory."

Toru paused. "…Yeah, maybe you're right. But still."

"I think the Pyramid would have seen through it, anyway." Naruto shrugged. "I don't think this is very likely."

"Perhaps there is a lesson to be learned here." Matatabi said snidely.

She said something about playing with forces beyond comprehension, but besides Yugito, they ignored the Bijū. A valid message still needed a good carrier, after all.

"You're right, Matatabi, of course." Naruto nodded absentmindedly — he hadn't listened, but he could guess that she was chiding them. "Next Pyramids will have a Recall button."

"That's not what I meant, you—"

"I thought that just hard coding them to only answer specific people we keyed in would be enough, of course — I didn't count on such a dumb move, that's on me."

"Stop giving the eyes away!"

"If only there was some way we could prevent all this." Naruto muttered. "If only…"

"…I'm leaving again. Fix the mess you made."

"See you tomorrow." Naruto muttered absentmindedly.

"Stop antagonizing her — He didn't mean it, Matatabi." Yugito frowned.

"Yeah, you can stay." A child's voice said brightly.

"Don't tell her what to do, you idiot." The other child hissed. "Don't you know Matatabi doesn't take well to demands already? She's a ninja cat, you have to be respectful."

"Who are you calling an idiot, you idiot?!" He screeched.

Naruto stared at the younger Naruto.

Yugito gave him a helpless shrug. 'Orphans.'

'You're lucky no one is regulating this sort of abduction.' Naruto nodded.

'Oh, who cares…' Toru rolled his eyes. 'Kaoru is going to take care of them, anyway.'

'I'm sure they will turn out to be well-adjusted.' Naruto thought dryly.

'Nah, he's still a Naruto.' Toru laughed.

'Like you're one to talk. This other-you is very sullen.'

'…What are you even talking about?' Toru frowned. 'Other-me?'

'He keeps on glaring at everyone and he looks like someone shat in his food — and I made sure to make your favorite, you'd think the kid would be more pleasant about it.'

'The kid likes tomatoes. Not curry rice.'

'Of course not.' Naruto laughed. 'That's something Sasuke would enjoy, not you.'

Ino gave him a strange look. 'Do you actually think this child is… Toru?'

'Well, yeah.' Naruto laughed.

'…This is Sasuke.' Toru thought.

'Don't be ridiculous.' Naruto scoffed. 'You already got me with that joke once.'

'…'

There was a long silence.

'Naruto.' Hanabi began. 'This is really Sasuke.'

'Come on, Hanabi. Not you too.' Naruto rolled his eyes.

'He is Sasuke.' Yugito said evenly. 'He's broody because his brother killed their family and made him relive their murder.'

Naruto paused.

'Ah. Another Sasuke, then.' He sighed. 'Well… in my defense… You guys really used to look the same. It's easier now, because Sasuke has long hair — and tribute to his dead sensei or not, he really needs a haircut.'

'I can't believe you thought it out loud.' Toru scowled. 'Look the same? Really…? Even Hanabi wouldn't say it.'

Hanabi shrugged. 'I would.'

Toru ignored her. 'Ah, I get it. It's even worse… It's one of your offensive jokes again, Naruto.'

'It's not.' He admitted. 'And that's a bit unfair, since you pulled the prank on me — there's something about a boy who cried wolf.'

'You're trying to get back at me.' Toru frowned. 'Just because I—"

'It's the truth, though.' Sakura intervened. 'He couldn't tell you apart — I had to tell him you guys were different people back then.'

Another pause.

Toru shook his head in disappointment. 'What are you, Senju Tobirama? We're decades past the clan wars, man.'

'Look, mistakes happen.' Naruto shrugged. 'You used to call me Naburo, and I never said anything about it.'

'I never did.' Toru growled.

'You did, on several occasions.' Ino cut him off. 'I found it pretty funny, so I never said anything.'

'Ah, did you grow up in Konoha too, Toru?' Hanabi tilted her head. 'You should have said so earlier.'

'Very funny.'

'How come we never met you in the other worlds, then…?' Hanabi pretended to muse.

'…Fuck you.' Toru frowned.

'You're lucky Akemi isn't hearing this.' Hanabi shook her head. 'Shameful.'

'I'm not biting today.' Toru rolled his eyes.

'So. When are we putting the kids away?' Sakura asked, pointing at them quite rudely.

Yugito gave her a disgruntled look. Naruto shrugged. He had told her Sakura would complain.

'What?' Sakura shrugged. 'One's going to be more than enough — we're not a daycare.'

'No…? It's hard to tell, when you're around.' Yugito said evenly.

Sakura chuckled. 'Grow up, Yugito.'

Naruto cut Yugito's retort off — she had a pretty impressive temper. 'The young Naruto is… kinda loud.'

'Every Uzumaki has the potential to be very loud.' Karin said. 'It's in our blood.'

'I wasn't like that.'

'You had your own issues, just ask Ino.' Karin laughed.

'A billion of them.' Toru nodded.

'I liked him.' Sakura shrugged.

'He was pretty bad — preferred books to my company, even.' Ino said. 'Unbelievable.'

'…Truly.' Sakura quipped.

'Books didn't try to make me pay for their food.' Naruto shrugged.

'I was trying to make you date me — not that you would understand.' Ino frowned.

'What about just asking?' Hanabi tilted her head. 'It always worked for me.'

'Always…? …A grand total of one time.'

'A technical truth is still a truth.' Hanabi nodded. 'Besides, acting all cute and waiting for the guy to understand his own feelings is more Hinata's style.'

'That's not even remotely true.' Toru denied.

'I take what I want — Why would you even know about my sister's romantic life?'

'Sasuke has no hobbies, mostly.'

'That's true.' Hanabi accepted. 'He does like burning things down, right? That's a start.'

'He actually likes gardening.' Karin corrected. 'No, not just because you bullied him into it.' She cut Sakura's retort off.

'Asura always had a bit of a green thumb. It's no wonder Sasuke does, too.' Naruto added. 'Never really tried it myself, but I'm sure I'd be great too.'

'Your hands are more suited for taking and destroying, dear.' Yugito said pleasantly.

'This is true. I was pretty great at genocide — still am.' Naruto smiled easily and Toru made a choked noise. 'But not only. I created a new life, didn't I?'

'…Say that again?' She paused. 'You did?'

'Well yeah, you played your part too — I guess.' Naruto scratched his chin.

'Just who—' Yugito began. 'Do you think is carrying our child?'

'I would do it if I could. But we're not there yet.' Naruto shrugged. 'And nobody wants to use our portable wombs. Thanks anyway.'

The two children — who had been quietly sitting near Matatabi and Akemi— were staring.

"I'm sorry, kids, I guess you couldn't hear much, could you?" Naruto asked, not really caring about the answer that much.

"What are you talking about?" Young-Naruto asked, squinting his eyes in this entirely uncomprehending expression. "You weren't talking."

"Nothing. Anyway, are you sure you'll be fine going away? That means leaving your world—"

"Well, stupid Sasuke is going to your world or something." He said petulantly. "And if he's getting special training, so am I."

(The old man would maybe miss him, but he would see him again once he came back to become Hokage anyway. The rest… Bah. Who cared.)

"…I mean, that's not exactly sound logic, but…" Naruto scratched his head. "And you, To—… Sasuke?"

"I have to become stronger so that I can kill Itachi and avenge my clan." He muttered darkly.

"Ah, that's a good goal." Naruto nodded.

Young-Sasuke blinked. "You think so…? My old therapist said that-"

"Well, why would we want a guy like that roaming free…?" Naruto nodded. "Sometimes, murder is the only — if unpleasant — solution."

Toru stared at him. "…Perhaps that's not the sort of thing you should tell him."

"But look at him." Naruto grinned. "He would be such a cute little murderer… Wouldn't he?" He asked, pinching his cheek.

"I'm not cute!" Sasuke said hotly. "I'm an avenger!"

"YEAH!" Young-Naruto screeched. "I will be one too! And then the Hokage!"

Sakura stared at them blankly, and then she nodded. "Now… Itachi is decently strong, so you will have to train a lot."

Young-Sasuke stared at them, nodding slowly.

"Matatabi said she would teach me — us — how to make very hot flames." His eyes hardened. "Flames hard enough to burn even Itachi to ashes. Like the white ash that is the only thing left of the Uchiha clan." He said with smoldering eyes.

Young-Naruto inched away from him.

Matatabi muttered that she had not quite promised such a thing.

Sakura nodded again. "That's a strong commitment, for a child. You'll do fine, I believe."

"I will avenge my clan." He said again. Young-Naruto nodded, very seriously.

"Yes, you said it already." Sakura accepted easily, setting the exit door to their destination. "Let's get to the point — this is exhausting my social battery. Now… Yugito won't be able to stay with you, but she will make sure you get to your destination safely. The guy you're going to meet is alright at making flames too, ask him for a tip or two, if you find the time. You won't be staying with him anyway, but a woman named Kaoru — be nice… or she might become quite difficult."

Young-Sasuke blinked. "Huh…?"

"He's you, from another world." Sakura said. "Say hi to my old teammate when you see him."

"Huh?" Young-Naruto frowned too.

"Ah, also. In our world, Itachi's a pretty nice guy — and most of your family's alive, too. Because he didn't kill them."

"Wha—" Sasuke began shrilly.

"Well, it's not like you're going to see him right away. Have fun, kids!" Sakura said brightly. "See you around."

She pushed them through the door.

"Rude." Yugito frowned. Naruto winked at her. She smiled despite herself and went after them, shaking her head. Matatabi followed.

World #01 - Hokage's Tower

Itachi peeked out of the window of the Hokage tower.

He was a bit sleepy, if he was being entirely honest with himself. The day had started quite early, and the only thing he wished for was to get some sleep. Next to him, Sasuke looked about as tired as he felt — as he did most of the time, for different reasons.

Itachi was starting to regret having agreed to speak with these Nakaharu — formerly the Land of Lakes — diplomats at such a late hour. They were used to an entirely different time zone, and as they were going to meet through one of Naruto's damnable Astral Projections. He pointedly didn't glare at the offending item — a small black sphere sitting on his desk.

"Did you ever visit the Land of Lakes?" Sasuke asked him.

"'Have you ever visited'." Itachi corrected. "And that's not how it's called anymore."

Sasuke snorted. "If I were to listen to Naruto, we wouldn't even be in the Land of Fire, right now."

Itachi didn't bother correcting him this time.

(But they weren't in the Land of Fire, that was just the old name.)

"I haven't been to Nakaharu, no." Itachi conceded.

"I think I might go."

"Where…?"

"Around the world — at some point I mean." Sasuke said.

"Are you musing aloud again?" Itachi smiled slightly.

"I guess so." Sasuke sighed. "Once the twins are grown, of course and —"

There was a shimmer of dark light in the room.

"Is this supposed to happen…?" Itachi asked.

"Ah. No. I recognize that thing." Sasuke said.

The files on Itachi's desk were flying around the room and a sound like thunder crackled.

Sasuke let out a specific long-suffering sigh that Itachi recognized. He motioned for his ANBU guard to stand down.

Then the portal let two children out. Itachi stared. And Sasuke stared.

Young-Naruto stared.

Young-Sasuke stared.

(Whatever it was that he had just learned about this particular Itachi seemed to simply… fade away.)

The child's eyes turned red, without him realizing. "ITACHI!" He roared. "Today's the day you die — die — die!"

Then he blew out an admittedly impressive fireball, using his fingertips to ignite it.

Young-Naruto, not to be outdone by his self-proclaimed rival, did his best to add to it. Of course, he was far from being able to use Fire release… but Karin had taught him how to use explosive tags safely — since you have them already, might as well make sure you don't blow yourself up, she had said.

Matatabi just watched on, somewhat approvingly.

Both Itachi and Sasuke shielded themselves, as well as the people inside the room.

Most of the room itself, on the other hand, simply blew up.

At around the same time, right after a long and somewhat strange dinner, Yoisen left the very same world the children had landed into.

"On behalf of my… On behalf of Naruto and Umi, I sincerely apologize." Yugito said, bowing to her fellow Kage.

She was holding the young Sasuke by the back of his collar, preventing him from trying to attack Itachi again.

Sasuke sighed. "Of course it's their fault — and I'm sure Sakura is involved too."

The young Naruto tried to slap an explosive tag onto the Hokage's leg, which Itachi absentmindedly dispelled.

"I… understand?" Itachi asked more than he stated. "Is this… Sasuke? And a young Uzumaki Naruto?"

"BELIEVE IT!" The child screamed.

"…Why is he rabid?" Itachi asked, as his ANBU guard barely managed to avoid getting his fingers bitten by the young Naruto.

"They are — not rabid, I mean." Yugito nodded. "They come from someplace else and—"

"YOU KILLED OUR CLAN — ITACHI!" Young-Sasuke roared. "DIE!"

"Uh…?" Itachi paused.

Sasuke threw him a strange look. "Did I hear this right?"

"You killed Sasuke's parents!" Young-Naruto screamed, trying to free himself from the ANBU. He was quickly sedated.

"Our parents." Itachi corrected automatically. "And… No I didn't?"

"Another Itachi killed Sasuke's parents." Yugito confirmed. "And as both of these children were growing up entirely alone, I considered it to be best to take them away."

"You felt bad for them." Sasuke translated. There was this ever-present connection in the back of his mind, courtesy of the bond.

"…I felt bad for them." Yugito admitted.

"GIVE THEM BACK ITACHI! GIVE DAD AND MOM BACK!"

Itachi's eyes softened. "Ah." He said. "I… I'm sorry Sasuke. I'm not the man you know — I'm truly sorry, I can't even begin to understand how terrible this may have been—"

"YOU KILLED THEM!"

Itachi winced. He gave Yugito a questioning look, but she didn't know much about the affair either.

"No." Itachi repeated, parrying the young Sasuke's fumbling strikes gently. The older Sasuke was just watching the scene unfold, entirely bemused. "…And our clan is alive and well here—"

"MORE LIES!"

"…No, he's telling the truth." The older Sasuke said. Sasuke took him in and realized who that was. "Our father died years ago, but Mother is alive and well, and so is—"

"Why would I trust you?! You're working with him!"

"I mean, I am but—"

"See?!" Young-Sasuke roared. "You're just like him — Nothing more than lies and false promises and then you—"

Sasuke sniffled.

"You…" He sniffled again.

"Sasuke…" Itachi said quietly. He took him in his arms.

Young-Sasuke tried to stab him. Part of his Susanoo rose to block the strike.

"You…" Young-Sasuke was crying. "Why?!"

"I — I don't know what happened there." Itachi said. "But you're safe here."

"…"

"Mother is here too." Sasuke repeated.

"…I don't trust either of you."

"That's understandable." Itachi said softly. "You're safe — and so is your friend."

"He's not my friend."

"That's fine too." Sasuke nodded. "And very understandable."

Young-Sasuke sniffled.

"…The pink-haired lady said you were not like Itachi." He mumbled. Sasuke sighed. "I…" Shouldn't have attacked you, was what he meant to say. "Bring me to Mom please." He said weakly. "If it's… true, I mean."

"Of course." Itachi nodded.

"…Not you." Young-Sasuke shook his head, still looking like a jumpy animal.

"You're right." Itachi nodded again. "Sasuke…? If you could?"

"Got it."

Both Sasuke left together, but not before the younger one threw Itachi a very confused look.

"…There's a non-zero chance that he might be staying here in Konoha, then." Yugito said. "It's probably for the best that we didn't warn Kaoru yet."

Itachi stared at her.

"Both of them might be staying, then." He said.

"…Why is that?"

Itachi sighed. "Our mother and Naruto's mother were dear friends, long ago — I believe that she would jump at the chance to take care of him."

"You knew my mother?!" Young-Naruto chose this moment to wake up.

"…Wasn't he sedated?" Itachi asked. "Who applied the dose…? Ah, right, jinchūriki. Should have gone with Genjutsu, as always."

The child was staring at him with bright eyes.

"…My mother knew her when she was alive, yes." Itachi nodded.

"And Sasuke is staying here, then? We're in the future, right?"

"It's the present… And I don't know yet but there's a chance—"

"I'm going with him, then!" Young-Naruto exclaimed and took off running. The ANBU didn't follow.

Itachi stared. "He seems… quite different."

"Ino said something about ADHD." Yugito nodded. "He keeps screaming about wanting to become Hokage and—"

"Hokage… you said?" Itachi blinked. "He can stay." He decided.

"Huh?"

He needed contingencies, in case Konohamaru cracked under the pressure. And keeping the ticking time bomb that a Naruto was certain to be close to him… would at least allow him to make sure he didn't mess things up too much.

"I said he can stay. My mother will raise him." Itachi said.

"…"

"I am… willing to overlook the incident, Yugito-san." Itachi nodded again.

Neither he nor Yugito mentioned the fact that there wasn't that much he could say about it in the first place.

"Well… I thank you, in that case." Yugito nodded. There would be other children who needed parents anyway. Kaoru could wait. "Do send the bill for the repairs to Umi — someone will take care of that."

"Well, that's a given."

The diplomats from Nakaharu chose this moment to call.

"Good evening, Itachi-dono — why are you standing in ruins…? Is this Raikage-dono next to you?"

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(Uchiha Sasuke knew who to blame, of course.)

Umigakure

"I'm sorry, Kaoru." Yugito announced her presence, laughing. "I didn't manage to abduct any orphans — well I did, but they were stolen away from me."

"Ah well." The woman shrugged. "There's always next time. You have to be careful picking up strays — the last one I got turned out to be a sixty year old man."

"Am I free to go, then?" Orochimaru's high-pitched voice asked.

"No. You're still my son." Kaoru chuckled.

Yugito popped her head into the room.

"Oh, am I interrupting something?" She asked, noticing the guests. "Hello Anko, Orochimaru, Shisui. It has been a while."

"Not that long on our side." Shisui shrugged. "And frankly, things are less messy without you, and especially fucking Uzumaki Naruto, around — before today, at least."

Orochimaru was staring at Yugito.

"…Do I have something on my face?" She asked.

"Huh. And here I believed that Naruto was in trouble." Orochimaru sighed. "Why do I even waste my worry on him…? He is as foolhardy as Jiraiya, as chaotic as Tsunade… and secretive as I am."

"Huh?" Yugito lifted an eyebrow. "Naruto? In trouble? Not really, no."

"Your friend just left." Orochimaru said.

"Who did?"

"The white-haired immortal." Anko supplied.

"Hidan is not exactly a friend."

"No. Not him." Anko laughed. "And not that one, either." She pointed at the woman sitting next to her.

"Hello—" Yugito began. That woman looked somewhat familiar.

"Do not talk to me so familiarly, wench."

Anko slapped the back of the woman's head.

"What an unpleasant woman." Anko shook her head. "I warned you, didn't I?"

"Once I break free of my shackles, you are the first person I shall devour." The woman hissed. "Your death will be a torturous, unpleasant one."

"…Wow. Okay." Yugito shrugged. "Did I trigger her?"

"No." Kaoru shook her head. "She was like this when Yashagoro-chan found her."

"So who came after us…?"

"Yoisen did." Orochimaru said.

"…Ah. The pen-pal, then." Yugito understood.

"That's right." Anko smiled unpleasantly. "Because sensei couldn't be bothered setting up a direct communication line."

Orochimaru rolled his eyes. "If you or Shisui had just accepted my student's somewhat intrusive mind-link, we wouldn't have had to do all this in the first place."

"Oh?" Anko lifted an eyebrow. "And why didn't you do it yourself…?"

"For obvious reasons." Orochimaru shrugged. "Who knows what it could have done to my mind…?"

"I'm sure you would have been fine." Shisui muttered.

"It was not a risk I was willing to take." Orochimaru said flatly. "Anyway, she is gone now." He shrugged. "She will probably find her way to you — at some point."

"Oh, gods…" Yugito muttered.

"I tried to dissuade them." Anko said.

"Does she even know where to go?"

"I gave her the coordinates you left." Orochimaru said. "It should be fine — otherwise she will just come back here, given enough time. She can handle herself."

"…She is quite stubborn, according to Naruto." Yugito muttered. "This might be a long while."

"So be it, then." Orochimaru shrugged. "Time means nothing to either of us."

"You just say this because you're pushing sixty." Anko frowned.

"And I shall be more than ten thousand, in time." He smiled proudly.

Yugito sighed. "Anyway, I came to —… What is up, Matatabi?"

She was staring at the white-haired woman, squinting. And hissing.

"You…" Kaguya began. She was getting agitated. Orochimaru sighed.

"Don't." He ordered.

Whatever it was that the woman was about to do… she didn't.

"…Okay, what is this about?" Yugito frowned.

"I'll explain." Orochimaru said. "Later."

"I came here to give you an access key to our hiding place, since Sasuke probably didn't bother and…" Yugito took a closer look at the woman. "…Is this Ōtsutsuki Kaguya…?"

She had never seen the woman in person, but Matatabi's growl all but confirmed it.

Orochimaru sighed.

World #7570 - Tokyo

"So that's what you call a high-school, huh? Looks fucking depressing to me, it's all concrete and stuff." Gama laughed. "Smells like broken dreams already. You gave up on being a ninja for this?"

Nacchan urged Sakura to go on ahead.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Gama asked. "Show us to our classrooms."

"…I don't think I should." Nacchan said.

"Tough luck." Gama said. "I'm going, with or without you — and guess who's going to get blamed for it."

"…Wait." Hebi said.

"Oh come on!" Gama rolled his eyes. "Not you too."

"You're not wearing a uniform."

"So?" Gama frowned.

"Everyone else is." Hebi stated.

"Ah, that's easily fixed."

"You're terrible at Genjutsu — don't think I didn't notice."

"I wasn't talking about Genjutsu." Gama smiled. "Nacchan?"

"I don't have a fucking spare on me." He growled.

"Well, don't you have one somewhere?" Gama tilted his head. He picked up on Nacchan's reaction. "Ah — thought so. Go home and pick it for me, then."

"I'm not your fucking—" Nacchan began, and noticed Gama staring at him. "It's in my locker." He mumbled.

"I'm sure we can go there with no trouble." Gama rolled his eyes again. "Keep your snake deception up, Hebi."

"You know, I think I might really murder you at some point." She stated.

"Oh, please. You love me — Don't — Help, I'm choking, Nacchan! HELP—"

"Please, I go to school here!" Nacchan begged.

…

"See? It wasn't so hard." Gama said, slipping inside one of Nacchan's white shirts — which was too small for him.

"You look absolutely ridiculous." Hebi said tightly. "And please don't get changed in the corridors — there's only so many illusions I can weave at the same time."

Gama rolled his eyes. He slipped inside Nacchan's black standing collar jacket. The back split apart.

"Damn." Gama laughed. "I knew my excessive musculature would be a problem some day. Guess I'm going without a jacket."

Some girls were pointing at them and smiling. Gama winked at them.

Nacchan looked ready to cry.

World Eater's Den

"That we didn't find them in either of the most likely realms can mean several things." Orochimaru — the fatherly one — declared, crossing out the fifty-first item on the blackboard. "One: Your mental map is inaccurate—"

"Impossible." Naruto declared, lounging in one of the couches. "My wife is the best in the worlds at anything mind-related. If she says Gama and Hebi are in one of these worlds, well they are there."

Ino's smile reached her eyes.

Orochimaru frowned. "It doesn't change the fact that—"

"Chill out, your daughter is somewhat strong, and she knows when to run away."

"How do you know that?" Orochimaru asked.

"She's your daughter." Toru shrugged. "And you're good at it, I've heard."

Naruto simply nodded.

Jiraiya laughed and clapped Orochimaru's shoulder.

"…Be that as it may." Orochimaru muttered. "They were not in any of the first fifty we visited."

"Then it might mean they are in realms further away." Karin said.

"Further away?" Jiraiya asked. "You can do that?"

"Sure. Things are just pretty weird out there — and you never quite know what to expect, so we don't really bother, usually." Karin shrugged.

"And you left the beacons everywhere you went, right?" Naruto asked the two Sanin. "If they come there… we'll know. It's just a matter of going mostly everywhere and going from there. Also, they'll end up learning how to use the Pyramid anyway."

"What if she dies?" Orochimaru hissed.

"Ah, but that would be easier, actually." Hanabi laughed. "We'd just have to go back to your realm and find a way to bring them back to life."

The door opened.

"Ah, here comes Sasuke." Naruto smiled. He casually batted away a gout of fire that sprang from the man. "Sorry about the kids, brother. It was easier to send them through by using you as a beacon."

"Don't call me that — You're such a fucking bastard, where did they even come from?!" Sasuke growled.

"Konoha." Hanabi supplied.

"I was with Itachi." Sasuke growled, doing his best to ignore Jiraiya, whose very presence made emotions he didn't really want to dwell on rise within him.

"The Hokage?" Naruto asked.

"Who else?!"

"Well, there's Clan-Killer Itachi, too—" Toru began.

"Say that again." Akemi said.

"Clan-Kill… Ah. Yeah. I think I get it." He winced. "It's Sakura's fault — and she's gone again, so…"

"Are the kids alright?" Karin asked.

"They are." Sasuke said tightly. "And staying with my mother for the time being, no thanks to you."

"Of course it's thanks to us." Naruto frowned.

"You abducted them."

"Nah, we did everyone a favor." Karin said. "You should have seen the way they were treated back home."

"I'm sure people are looking for them, right now!" Sasuke growled.

World #342

"Hokage-sama!"

Sarutobi Hiruzen puffed on his pipe, unworried.

"Hokage-sama!"

A lifetime of being a shinobi had made him able to deal with the stress of nearly any situation. Iruka was a good man — and in a better world, someone he would have loved to have seen leading a village, alas he would likely never have the steel, the strength for it.

Iruka was also a bit of a worrywart. Naruto could certainly be a bit of a troublemaker, but he knew which battles not to pick. Whatever he had done this time would likely not be so bad.

The time he had gone through his own secret drawer had been somewhat embarrassing, certainly. But then again, people like Koharu had always been a bit too prudish about… everything. No real harm had been done.

Hiruzen still put his brush away, and drew himself away from his ongoing painting. He puffed on his pipe again.

"What is it, Iruka-kun?"

"It's that child — Naruto!" Iruka said.

Hiruzen nodded knowingly. He had expected it, really.

"What is it?" He asked casually. "Some practical joke again, I assume?"

"No!" Iruka almost roared. Hiruzen was somewhat surprised by his vehemence, as he was a calm man — usually. Then again, Naruto could truly bring the worst out of people.

"Start from the beginning, then." Hiruzen nodded.

"Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke have both disappeared from the village entirely! And it has apparently been a while already—"

Sarutobi Hiruzen paused.

…

After a few minutes of staring into space, he dispelled Danzō's genjutsu — the one hiding him. But Danzō was seemingly not in the mood to go for one of his 'assassination drills.'

The man was as still as he was.

"I'm sorry, Danzō." Hiruzen said, very insincerely, masking his own worry. "I think Itachi might be coming for you after all."

Danzō said nothing in answer.

"…Perhaps there is a lesson about rash moves in there." Hiruzen offered. "And manipulating promising young ninja that might have taken my seat someday."

"Perhaps there is a lesson about not trusting Uchiha in there." Danzō spat. There was a non-zero chance he was not going to make it past this week. "Especially young, emotional ones."

"Itachi, you mean…?" Hiruzen asked. "Emotional…?"

"An Uchiha is an Uchiha. They can only bottle things up." Danzō muttered harshly. "And when they finally blow up… Tobirama-sensei was right — before he became corrupted with foolish ideals."

Hiruzen smiled a very flat smile.

"If you say so, Danzō."

"…Shall I send for our best trackers?"

"Immediately. I'm surprised you haven't done so already. You are rusting away, old friend."

"So are you."

World-Eater's Den

"They'll just find have to find other weapons of war, then." Naruto shrugged. "I never really cared for being the village's firebomb."

"You?! You didn't even know you were a jinchuuriki." Sasuke raged. "I was the secret weapon!"

"Fine, be like that about it…" Naruto rolled his eyes. Typical Hashirama tantrum — Asura had been a bit better about these things. Not much, though. "I'm sure you were very good at it and killed plenty of men and women." He nodded.

"More than you, you mean?!" Sasuke asked tightly. He was entirely in control. "MORE THAN YOU?!"

"Now, I didn't say that." Naruto chuckled. "Besides, it's not a competition — we're still talking about murder, after all, remember?"

Toru caught Sasuke by the waist as he jumped. The hardest part about these things was to not use too much strength. "Don't — we didn't finish building the sparring room yet."

"Do I look like I give a fuck?!" Sasuke shouted. Hanabi was watching on with bright eyes, as though this were the most interesting thing she had seen today.

"Naruto, please stop." Ino said.

Hanabi groaned. "Oh come on, don't be like that."

"Ino's right, please stop egging him on." Karin intervened.

"You two take and take…" Hanabi sighed. "Why can't you let me have nice things, just once?"

"Let me go, Toru!" Sasuke growled. "I want to fight him."

"I can't let you do that." Toru almost begged. "You're just Tier 3 — this is not going to go well!"

"That's the last thing you should say to him now." Akemi tried, holding on to Sasuke's waist as well.

"What else do you want me to say?!" Toru yelled. It was important work. And Kage — the Hokage-Naruto — was supposed to help him complete his tier list, at some point too.

"I'll give you a fucking Tier 3!" Sasuke growled.

Naruto's amused laugh was booming in his ears.

World #7570 - Tokyo

Gama began laughing.

"Oh man!" He said, in-between chuckles. "You thought I cared about the girls that were your age?"

Nacchan just stared at him.

"…Can you blame him?" Hebi said, nonplussed. "You are a degenerate."

"Thank you." Gama said thankfully. "I am. But I'm not interested in children."

"I'm seventeen." Nacchan hissed.

"What did I say?" Gama frowned. "Civilian seventeen is like ninja fourteen."

"How does that make any sense?"

"Well…" He addressed Hebi. "Look at me. I'm under an illusion to look seventeen, but I might as well look like I'm twenty already — too muscular… and my chiseled good-looks are not helping either. I just stand out naturally. And now… Just… look at Nacchan." He gestured at him rudely.

"What's wrong with me, you piece of shit…?" Nacchan muttered.

"You look decent… for a fourteen-year old boy." Gama concluded. "Puny — at best — for anything older than that. Did you leave your muscle tone at home?"

"I'm going to kill you, you know that—"

"Big talk doesn't make you seem more manly, far from it." Gama rolled his eyes. "It's closer to bluster, and nobody likes that." He slapped Nacchan's back in a friendly manner and almost sent him flying.

"The fuck are you here for, then? You said you were looking for hunnies." Nacchan, still reeling from the hit, asked him. "It's obviously not to learn, you can barely read, you country—"

"Well… do you or do you not have teachers…?" Gama asked with a very unpleasant — to the others, at least — smile.

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