img: VgwMJTf png

World #01 - Umigakure.

"…Man, that woman really looks like Kaguya." Kage said hesitantly as he stepped out of the portal and entered the room. "…Or an Ōtsutsuki, at least. Is that a polite term to use here...?"

Kaguya stared at him.

"Oh...? Me...? That is amusing. Because you seem to be made out of spare parts that would not even have made the cut for a regular human." She answered quietly. "If you were not in possession of my son's chakra and what is rightfully mine—"

"Do not start now, please." Orochimaru called. Kaguya stopped talking.

"…Did I say something wrong?" Kage asked.

Kaguya chuckled. "You continue to meet my expectations." She said condescendingly.

"I warned you about them already, but it seems as though you simply cannot stop." Orochimaru sighed. "Welcome, Uzumaki Naruto — the one my former student calls Kage, right?"

"…Yes. Hello — Orochimaru…? And you're a child?" Kage frowned. "Wow. And you guys said our world was weird."

"Coming in hot!" Sakura warned, pushing Kage out of the way. "…Is this Yoisen?"

"Of course not." Ino snorted. "Does she look like a sleazy homewrecker to you?"

"How should I know what a homewrecker looks like? I was invited into this relationship — by you."

Hanabi frowned. "This woman looks... sort of Hyuuga to me. Fine-boned and aristocratic, confident but not arrogant—" Sakura coughed. Hanabi ignored her. "Powerful chakra. Also, she has the Byakugan."

"You are from Hamura's line." Kaguya remarked. "To think that his line has fallen so far as to become one of Hagoromo's heir's bed wenches."

"Bed wench?" Hanabi repeated, mumbling to herself. "Huh, that's a good one — I'll keep it in mind." Then, louder. "Also no. I'm the Empress. And a comic artist, too."

Kaguya's eyes tightened. "How delusional can you be?"

"I don't know. Am I currently pretending I have some form of power, while being childhandled by Orochimaru?" Hanabi shrugged. Orochimaru hissed something in return.

Kaguya didn't answer.

"Thought so." Hanabi chuckled.

"I think she is Kaguya." Kage rubbed his head.

"…You don't know for sure?" Karin asked. "I thought you fought her."

"Well, we did, but I was sixteen then. Ah no, seventeen actually. …It was the roughest birthday of my life… Well, since the day where my mother died and my father killed himself sealing Kurama inside me."

"Ah, the Namikaze special." Naruto laughed. "He even came back from the dead to reseal part of the thing and… die again."

"Same here." Kage admitted. "But he was doing it to help."

"That's what they always say." Naruto nodded politely.

There was a flash of dark light.

Sasuke — theirs — came out of it with a steady glare, disgust written all over his face. Toru followed, looking disgruntled — but not entirely surprised — as well. They both stared Naruto down.

"Whatever it is you saw out there, I didn't do it." Naruto shrugged.

"That's—" Sasuke spat. "Never mind. I'm leaving."

And he did.

"Man, he could have stayed for the party." Sakura muttered. "Who gave him access to the Gates, anyway?"

"I did." Toru said. "You were dead, though."

Nobody asked any questions. It was a big multiverse. Toru sat down.

"I only caught the tail end of the convo, but… I'd think twice about raising you, too." Toru offered. He noticed Kage was here. "Ah, I mean our Naruto, you're fine."

"I think I get where he was coming from." Sakura smiled. "Children can be…"

"Don't try to seal Matatabi in my child, Sakura. I know you." Yugito frowned. Matatabi ignored their taunts pointedly, playing with a small sphere of deadly flame in a corner of the room.

Kage was trying to finish his thought.

"I don't have a bad memory. That day was close to twenty years ago… and this specific fight was over in an hour." He said, over the noise of the conversations.

"I thought she was supposed to be a world-ending threat." Akemi said. "I guess that's relative, too."

"I'm disappointed." Naruto nodded. "No Bijuu and—"

"She actually had the Bijuu when we fought her." Kage explained.

"…How are you and B even alive, if she had the Bijuu?"

"Well, she just said it." Kage shrugged. "Things are relative."

"…Do you even know how to fight without the Nine-Tails?" Naruto chuckled.

"Well, of course." Kage said. "…Also, half of Kurama was with me. The other half, I mean. Obito stole mine."

"Does that work…?" Toru asked.

"We Uzumaki are built different." Kage nodded. "In the end, we didn't kill her, we just sealed her off in a pocket realm, on the Moon."

"Just." Toru mimicked.

Kaguya was listening intently.

"Do not plan to use this knowledge to your advantage in any way that has anything at all to do with freeing her, or acquiring her power to further your goals, please." Orochimaru said absentmindedly.

"Well, same thing." Naruto shrugged. "If she couldn't do shit even with all the Bijuu, I think we can move on to more interesting topics."

"It was a hard battle." Kage frowned. "Short, yes. But most great battles are. Sasuke and I did most of the important fighting in five minutes, then we spent hours pummeling each other. Well, mostly me, because he can be stubborn."

"…Your point being?"

"Length has nothing to do with—" Kage stopped, seeing Naruto and Toru's identical grins. "…Yeah, you guys really can't be a day over twenty."

"That's not true." Naruto denied. "I'd bet I'm older than you."

"Whatever, pass me a beer." Kage grumbled. "This old man had a long, long week."

"Don't you feel a bit bad about hanging out with kids, then?" Toru chuckled.

"Eh, between Sasuke's shit and my own children, that's all I do, these days." Kage shrugged. "Twenty-something is fine. Besides, Orochimaru is like…?" He hesitated. "Yeah, whatever."

Orochimaru, who sighed. "I had hopes that this first official inter-dimensional meeting would be more of a formal affair."

"There's always next time. Don't be mad just because you're not allowed to drink." Karin laughed. Both Yugito and Anko gave her dry — just like their throats — looks. "What? Yugito... is one thing. But that's different in your case, Anko — You just had to use birth control, seals are free to learn."

Anko shrugged. "I like living dangerously and stealing genetic material."

Orochimaru nodded, almost proudly.

"Also... Shisui has some qualities." She grinned.

"Please, that's my brother." Toru groaned.

Yugito was staring at Kage.

"Naruto's the same guy who said not to get too involved with other worlds." She muttered. "What happened to that?"

Anko shrugged. "He keeps on changing his mind. One day he looked like he wanted to kill me, the next we were like squabbling siblings again."

"He said sorry for that." Karin shrugged. She frowned. "I think…?"

"Only most weeks." Naruto grunted.

Yugito snorted. "Should we really leave a guy like this in charge?"

"I can hear you girls." Naruto frowned. He was ignored.

"Nobody else wants the job. I sure as hell don't." Anko shrugged again, looking at the drinks on the table enviously.

"Nobody else can do it." Naruto corrected.

Kaguya chuckled derisively.

"Is this how you rule your subjects?" She asked quietly. "What a pathetic display. Subjects should obey—"

"Riveting theory, space grandma." Naruto nodded and then went back to his drink.

Kaguya stared at him.

"Don't get too angry, it's bad for your blood pressure." He added.

"I think she was kinda condescending when we met her, too." Kage reminisced. "I thought it was because she just woke up."

"Condescending…?" Kaguya asked slowly, as though she were talking to a child. "Do you even know what that word means…?"

"Well, now I do for sure." Kage laughed.

"It was a good example." Orochimaru nodded. "Be nice to our guests, please."

Kaguya shut up.

Hanabi frowned. "Is she compelled to obey?" There was some distaste in her eyes. "Perhaps you should've killed her instead."

"Not anymore." Orochimaru shrugged. "It's more of a conditional stay."

"…Does that mean she's roaming around freely? That's… even worse. Somehow."

"I didn't say that either." Orochimaru laughed. "She did promise to respect a few conditions, though. The more egregious sort of thing, but it's not exactly a good celebration conversation."

Hanabi gave him a dubious look.

"I tell her what's a big no-no around here, and she can either accept or go back to the moon." Orochimaru nodded.

"…Yeah." Hanabi began. "You know what? I think I might have been willing to actually overlook slavery, in her case."

"Didn't she kill millions or something to that effect?" Karin frowned.

Orochimaru shrugged. "I did not bother with this sort of question."

"Huh." Kage scratched his chin. "You're not that different from our Orochimaru. Sasuke still has some hangups about his training, I believe. Not that he would ever say it clearly, he's still Sasuke."

Orochimaru tilted his head. "Did my alternate self train him…?"

"Sure did." Naruto nodded as well. "He's kinda traumatized."

"It's a… long story." Kage muttered. "He wanted Sasuke's… To possess Sasuke's body, I mean."

"Huh." Orochimaru blinked. "Possession? That is somewhat surprising. Although I do understand that with the Sharingan, he does have the ability to control the Bijuu inside him."

Kage frowned. "No, I am the jinchuuriki."

"Yes, I know. But him, too." Orochimaru said patiently.

"No he's not." Kage snorted. "I would know. Pervy Sage told me what to look for. Murderous anger and mood swings. Sasuke never had those."

Toru and Naruto shared a look and a shrug.

"Ah." Orochimaru sighed. "You were trained by Jiraiya, then. That explains a lot."

"Sure was." Kage grinned.

"Did he share any of his theories about the Uzumaki's secret pheromones with you…?" Orochimaru asked. "Pure curiosity on my part, of course."

"The what…?" Kage frowned. "No…?"

"Orochimaru… We already debunked that one together." Naruto muttered. "And I get the feeling it wasn't the first time you tested it out. Move on."

"Jiraiya made quite a compelling case." Orochimaru shrugged. "How promiscuous have you been in your youth… Kage?"

"Oh, please." Anko rolled his eyes. "Leave the man alone."

"I have only been with my wife." Kage said proudly.

"I could have told as much." Anko muttered. "Besides, does he look like a degenerate to you?"

"Hey." Toru frowned. "Leave our Naruto out of this."

"Yeah… Keep it up, Toru." Naruto said evenly. "You're the next in line to marry us. Akemi...?"

"Take him." She shrugged. "He's been slacking off a lot on teaching me ninja things, recently."

"Thank you." Naruto nodded gracefully.

"Stop that, man." Toru muttered. "You don't know what Sasuke and I just saw. I'm already worried enough about this soul bond thing — I think people think I'm part of this… thing when I mention it."

"Stop telling people about it, then."

"Hey, speaking of." Akemi intervened, frowning. "Is Uchiha Clan Hidden Art: Magnetic Dragon-Flight really a clan secret?"

Toru closed his eyes painfully. Karin let out a throaty chuckle.

Naruto stared at him. "…No. No, it isn't." He said in between gritted teeth. "He… probably stole it from… someone. Somewhere."

"Ah, I thought so." Akemi nodded.

"Stealing is such an ugly word." Sakura chuckled. "Did Toru take anything from you? Or do you still have it, as well? It's closer to sharing, if so."

Naruto glared at her.

"Thank you, Sakura." Toru smiled. "You're an honorary Uchiha, from now on — I'll just have to ask Sasuke."

"As long as it's just honorary." She nodded pleasantly.

A little bit further away, Orochimaru was leaning over the table in interest.

"Might I interest you in a few Uzumaki rituals of old?" He asked Kage. "I never got to see how different they would be across the realms."

"Uzumaki, you said?" Kage mused. "I don't know much about my clan—"

"Don't." Karin warned. "Also, nothing particular will happen, Orochimaru."

"A sample of one is not much of one." Orochimaru waved his concerns off.

"He's trying to trick you, my Hokage self." Naruto said.

"…Yeah, I think I'm going to refuse." Kage decided. "This reminds me too much of Sasuke's tales—"

Orochimaru sighed. "And here I thought you were more of a gutsy risk-taker."

"I am." Naruto slammed his beer on the table. "Bring it on."

"Please don't manipulate our guest." Ino called.

"Was he…? Ah, yeah." Kage muttered. "He did know the old perv."

"We met one of him, recently." Naruto remarked absentmindedly. "Jiraiya, I mean."

Ino sighed. "Don't you remember who you're talking to…?"

Kage was very silent.

'Different worlds.'

"…Ah." He said.

Orochimaru spoiled it, of course. "It isn't the exact same man you know — although with enough time to waste, you might find one that is just close enough." He shrugged. "Personally, I have no interest in meeting a man who shares some memories with my friend. I only care for change—"

"Evolution, progress. Like a windmill… things are boring when they don't move…" Toru muttered under his breath. "We know the spiel."

"I do miss the time you were all afraid of me." Orochimaru said, looking at him.

"The other versions of you tend to be worse, honestly." Karin offered. "That's probably why. Also, I helped."

"Plenty of child experimentation and all." Toru added with distaste.

"Not to play Enma's advocate, but that's oftentimes the best time to experiment on people." Orochimaru nodded.

"…Please don't ruin it, it probably took Karin a long while to get Toru there." Anko butted in. Karin shot her a thankful smile. "If only someone could do the same to his cowardly brother." She sighed, looking at the two of them pointedly.

"It's going to be difficult if the man keeps saying stuff like that." Akemi frowned. "Cute child or not… That's creepy — maybe even more so."

"Ah, I'll just get Kaoru to send me to regular school if I'm ever lacking for subjects." Orochimaru smiled.

"Oh please." Naruto scoffed. "You won't."

"No, you're right." Orochimaru nodded. "I never needed many child subjects, because I had you. I knew you'd bounce back from whatever."

Naruto gave him a flat look. "I'm still kinda pissed about a few things."

"Don't be. Has your Mokuton activated yet?" Orochimaru asked. Naruto paused.

"You never did anything to me that was Mokuton-related."

"Ah, it didn't, then." Orochimaru nodded. "Pathetic — I'm sure Kage here has Mokuton already. These alternate versions are ahead of me. And they're body-switching too? I can't — I'm disappointing myself." He shook his head.

"I'm sure you will find ways to outdo yourself." Anko said wryly.

"Thank you for your faith." Orochimaru said, looking at Naruto expectantly. "Well…?"

"Well what?"

"Nothing to say to encourage me?" Orochimaru asked. "No praise?"

"I'm trying, but the words are simply not coming to me." He shrugged.

"Suit yourself, you ingrate." Orochimaru nodded. "I didn't expect anything different from you. I won't be taking on a third apprentice."

"Of course not." Anko laughed.

"Now… did any of you happen to meet a man on the Moon across your travels?" Orochimaru asked them.

"On the moon…?" Kage frowned. That reminded him of something.

"Didn't we meet some moon people, Karin?" Sakura scratched her chin.

"That's the Otsutsuki clan." Karin reminded her. "And they don't like being called moon people, because these guys are just a subsection of the clan."

"Ah."

"Did we go on the Moon, Naruto?" Ino asked.

"No." He shrugged.

"You don't know for sure." Toru frowned. "I repressed some of the memories too."

"I know for sure — because I have the best memory around." Naruto explained graciously.

Toru snorted. "Whatever, gramps. Any good war stories to share instead?"

"You never liked them, but if you really want me to…" Naruto began, in a thin, raspy voice. "Let me tell you, young one—"

"So… No man on the moon, then?" Orochimaru asked flatly. They got distracted way too easily, as usual.

"Oh! Now I remember!" Kage exclaimed in realization. "There was that guy who tried to marry Hinata, just before we realized we were in love and kissed under the brilliant moon."

Hanabi smiled. "Ah, isn't it romantic, Naruto?" She nudged him. "It reminds me of us, actually."

"…The part where you basically demanded I sleep with you…?" Naruto asked dryly.

"Guys, please…" Kage tried.

"Don't put it like this. And… I'm not my sister." Hanabi shrugged. "Also, I've heard it was the way it was done."

"…In your books?"

"Guys!" Kage tried again.

"Where else?" She laughed. "In the Hyuuga clan, marriage usually comes before anything like that — so consider yourself lucky. Ah, except that one time a cousin mysteriously got pregnant and was married off very quickly. …Well, it happens every year, technically. …Speaking of, there are plenty of very fast, unexpected weddings announced right shortly after New Year's Eve."

"Ah, that's true!" Kage gasped. "I've noticed the same, but Hiashi doesn't want to say much about it."

"He's a bit harsh on outsiders." Hanabi explained.

"…But I'm his son."

"In-law." Hanabi corrected. "I'm sure he's very happy that you brought your Uzumaki heritage into the fold — I think he had some grandstanding plan of marrying you to Hinata in one peculiar world, so…"

"Wait, what?" Kage blinked.

"Nothing important, really." She waved off. "Who's the moonman?"

"I think his name was Momo…? Ah no, that's the one who Sasuke found recently, while Boruto was still in the Academy. We beat that guy up pretty good. Toneki…? Mizuti? His name was Mizuki… I think, it was a while ago." Kage said. "He came to try to kidnap you — the other Hanabi, I mean."

"Did he succeed? How...?" Hanabi frowned. "Why didn't I just kill him?"

"You were born years later, back home. You were fourteen or so." Kage said. "Anyway he stole your eyes and awakened the Mangekyō Byakugan. It turned out it wasn't enough, because I beat him up pretty good too and he had a change of heart." He grinned. "I won't say we're friends but he's staying on the moon for me—"

"Wait, what?" Hanabi cut him off.

"Oh, please no." Sakura muttered.

Kage scratched his head self-consciously. "I know, I know… That's one thing I'm pretty good at—"

"Not that." Naruto laughed. "What was that about the Byakugan…?"

"Ah, the Mangekyō Byakugan." Kage nodded. "No wonder you didn't hear much about it, it's—"

Kaguya cut in, eyes hard. "There is no such thing."

"Of course there is. Don't be silly." Kage snorted. "That's how Mizuki activated his — very convenient — Chakra Mode to try and match me for a few short moments."

"There is no such thing!" Kaguya repeated. "The Rinne-Sharingan—"

Sakura's head whipped around. "The what now?"

"Oh, no." Hanabi groaned.

Kaguya was surprisingly silent.

"Oh, come on, now." Sakura grunted. "We want you to talk, now."

"She had three eyes, back then." Kage intervened. "I didn't pay much attention, because Kakashi-sensei taught me not to look into a Sharingan, but… Yeah, I think she had something like it."

Sakura slowly began to grin.

"Oh, great…" Ino muttered. "More eye-power shit."

"The Uzumaki are now the strongest Dōjutsu clan." Karin declared. "Tremble before us!"

"THERE IS NO MANGE—" Kaguya's voice rose.

"Kaguya, please." Orochimaru appeased her. "This is not the time."

"I am done listening to you." She snapped.

Kage frowned. "…Uh? So she really is roaming free? Isn't this sort of… a bad move?"

"And here I believed you were all about forgiveness. Perhaps you are a Naruto after all." Orochimaru said. "She is simply angry, for the time being."

"Angry?" Kaguya laughed tightly. "Angry, you say?"

"Well, yes." Orochimaru frowned. "I might have had to teach myself how to read human emotion, but—"

"Do not compare me to humans." She cut him off.

Naruto laughed. "Careful, she's going to ruin the evening if you let her."

"No one lets me." Kaguya said, standing up.

No one reacted. They were waiting.

"Well, now…?" Orochimaru asked patiently. "Are you going to attack us…? It is your choice, after all. But it does mean returning to the Moon Seal."

Kage took a healthy swig of beer, and Toru followed with a cheer.

For a moment, she really looked as though she were going to go through with it, consequences be damned. But the prospect of isolation on the moon seemed to still be a worse option than her current company.

Kaguya sat down, with a fierce glare.

"Good girl." Hanabi smiled.

There was a pause.

…

"Catfight!" Toru cheered.

Orochimaru shrugged as the two women fell to the floor in a very ungraceful tangle. It didn't seem as though they were going to use anything close to lethal force — not that Kaguya could without being sent away —, so he was in no particular hurry to intervene.

Naruto was keeping an eye on them, anyway.

…

"That's what I always say." Anko grinned. "A good scrap can relieve the tension."

Hanabi, for one, seemed to have enjoyed it. "Hair-pulling, really?" She laughed, putting herself back together. "If this is how you people used to settle things… No wonder your son came up with the shinobi arts. Or Ninshū, whatever."

"Do not speak of my son." Kaguya hissed.

"Or what?" Hanabi chuckled. "Will you try to bite me?"

"Oh, I won't stop there." Kaguya threatened, low and dangerous.

Hanabi wasn't listening. "Tell me more about this evolved Byakugan, Hokage." She grinned, sitting herself next to him.

"You can start with the Rinne-Sharingan instead." Sakura offered, sitting on his other side.

"Uh…" Kage hesitated. "I don't know if this is such a wise idea." He looked at Naruto — who looked at him with an amused grin, sitting in between Toru and Karin — for help.

Naruto, who shrugged. "Sorry, but you're on your own."

"They won't leave you alone until you tell them." Karin warned him. "Might as well get it out of the way."

Kage stared at her. "…Are you part of their fleecing routine…? Like the good guy to their bad guy…?"

Toru chuckled. Karin looked at him innocently. "What do you mean?"

Kage sighed. "Well, anyway… That Mizuki guy told us that a pure Byakugan—"

"Got one." Hanabi nodded eagerly.

"And Hamura's chakra were enough —… Can you please get Kaguya out of here, she really creeps me out?" Kage asked… anyone.

She was beginning to monologue again. Ino made her voice sound quieter.

"And… huh. Yeah that was it, really." Kage shrugged.

"Okay so Hamura's chakra, then." Hanabi nodded. "He's dead, right…? Dear?" She asked Karin.

"Yeah, he's dead." Karin confirmed.

"Dead dead?"

"I think so."

"Hm…" Hanabi tapped her chin. "He can't be dead everywhere. I'm going to find him, then. Or his descendants or whatever."

"How did that Moon guy do it, then?" Karin asked.

Kage shrugged. "He was his descendant, so I guess you can see with Orochimaru."

"Your friend took his peculiar chakra with her when she departed." Orochimaru said. "It's a shame that there's no way to—"

Ino stared at him. Orochimaru looked away.

"Please don't." He said.

"Orochimaru's hiding something important." Ino denounced him.

The man in a child's body sighed.

"You have the chakra, don't you?" Hanabi asked, turning her Byakugan on. "Yup, I think I see it in there... Jar number five. Third room on the third floor."

Orochimaru muttered. "…When are you all leaving again? — Kaguya, please don't go there."

Hanabi moved closer to him.

"I'll trade you the legendary Rinnegan for it." Hanabi said magnanimously.

"…I have the eyes already."

"True. Everybody does, now." Hanabi sighed. "We should be more careful about this, perhaps. It's a good bargaining tool."

Sakura wisely didn't say anything about what she had done with the latest pair she had found. There was a high chance the Sannin had gambled them away already.

'…Not my problem anymore.' Sakura thought. It was just a Rinnegan anyway. How much could it be worth? Ten thousand ryō?

"Now, of course…" Orochimaru began. "I could part with it for the right price."

Hanabi frowned. "Is there even anything that you want, aside from exploring the universe…? And what's preventing us from just finding this Mizuki guy and taking his chakra in other realms, huh?"

Orochimaru shrugged. "Do as you wish, I do not care."

Sakura sighed, once Kage was done explaining.

"Ah, so it's just a Sharingan and a Rinnegan at the same time, then…?"

"…Just?" Kage asked.

"Doesn't sound too bad." Toru shrugged. "I'll look into it for myself."

"Too bad?" Kage repeated.

"Well, I guess I'll still do it to avoid switching, then, but… Disappointing." Sakura muttered over him.

"It's alright." Hanabi nodded magnanimously. "I'm sure we can find you a decent Byakugan, too. I can give you some mystical chakra, too."

Sakura chuckled.

"Thanks, but again… I don't want your pity Mangekyō Byakugan." She shook her head. "I'll go with what I know already."

"Who said anything about pity?" Hanabi pointed at Kaguya with her chin.

"…Hm…" Sakura thought about it. "That could work. Very pure indeed."

Kaguya scoffed. "You might as well try it, fifth wench. And while you do so, I will rip out this bright eyesore you call hair and fashion myself a carpet out of it. Every time I trample over it, I will think of you and your equally trampled ambitions. Which is one more person who thinks of you than as things currently stand."

Ino let out a choked, worried… chuckle.

"She's horrid." Sakura laughed, as though she hadn't just considered taking her eyes. "I love her already. Say, can we take her with us? Sar—… Uh. My apprentice would enjoy the experience."

"No." "No." Two voices said at the same time. Naruto and Orochimaru shared a look of understanding.

"I am not a chess piece to be bargained." Kaguya spat over the noise.

Sakura let out a disappointed sigh. "I realize now."

"Who wants some of the harder stuff?" Anko asked with a bright grin. She pulled out a chest of liquor out of seemingly nowhere.

"…Uh." Toru muttered. "Look, the baby's Shisui's already, there's no need to tempt fate by drinking."

"It's not for me." Anko laughed. "It's for you guys. I'll just live vicariously tonight."

…

"Hey, hey look. Who am I?" Kage stood up, quite drunkenly. He put his hand to his left eye, before he began to pant. "Damn it! My ocular powers haven't recharged yet!"

Toru hesitated. "…Sakura?"

He dodged her sandal. "Charge time? Me? Who do you take me for?"

"I don't believe in talking shit about people who aren't here — unless they're one of us." Toru amended himself. "It was the other Sasuke, though."

Kage grinned in satisfaction. "That's right!"

"Too easy." Naruto pursed his lips.

"Okay, okay. Let me do one." Toru smiled. He cleared his throat, standing up. "Hmpf. The lost art of charcoal sculpting, you say…? How quaint. As a member of the illustrious clan I belong to and won't name, I have learned such things before I even knew how to speak."

Naruto wheezed. The others laughed.

Hanabi was staring at Toru's soul. Toru hesitated.

"Tell us, Toru. Who is this?" She asked slowly.

"…" He licked his lips.

Kage's face brightened up. "Ah! I think I got it! It's Neji!"

Hanabi continued to stare at Toru.

"…Yeah. That was Neji." Toru lied. "Classic him."

…

"Where's Goruto, even?" Hanabi asked Kage. "He's usually stuck to you or Naruto like a creepy little shadow."

"Boruto's not creepy, he's my son." Kage frowned. " And I left him with someone I trust. There's no need for him to see people drinking — that might lead to him drinking someday."

"…I'm sure." Hanabi said slowly.

"You left him with …Sasuke?" Naruto asked. "Is that why he didn't come?"

"I trust Sasuke and he does need to learn how to handle teenagers, but no." Kage chuckled. "Sasuke just didn't want to come."

World #07

"It's been a while, Uncle Kakashi!" Boruto grinned as he entered the apartment.

He was quickly swarmed by dogs. They were a bit too friendly, and Kakashi was forced to whistle in order to get them to leave Boruto alone.

"Hello, Boruto." The man smiled. "How was your training?"

"I think I'm ready for the exams." Boruto simply said. "Well… I hope so. Training was good, anyway. Dad gave me plenty of tips, my Uncles left a few clones around while they uh… I don't actually know what it is they do? Maybe they have jobs? Oh, and Old Man Sasuke tried to teach me Chidori again."

"Chidori?" Kakashi scoffed. "If you're really into this sort of thing, I can teach you the real deal. The Raikiri — Sasuke focused on Chidori instead because he realized he couldn't master its stronger version in time for the exams…"

"I guess." Boruto shrugged.

"Or the new and improved version. I call it Shiden."

"If you want to."

"Another time. So about tonight…" Kakashi waved off. "Movies and pizza?"

Boruto grinned. "My turn to pick, right?"

"Of course — Don't tell your mom."

"…Also, Sasuke might not really be ready to meet Itachi again, I think, even if it's a different guy. He may not look like it, but he's a quite sensitive man." Toru said. Kage nodded.

"Oh, I would never have noticed." Naruto said.

"You sound very sarcastic." Toru grimaced.

"Of course not. I am sensitive, too."

…

"Say, are you okay?" Naruto asked Yugito, who had stood up and left the room quietly.

"I swear on the rolling clouds, if you ask me one more time if I'm good, I'm going to—" Yugito began.

"Alright, alright." Naruto threw his hands up in the air. "You look a bit…"

"Don't." She grunted. "Just feeling a bit under the weather."

"Baby?"

"What the fuck did you just call me?" She grunted.

"No. I mean 'Is it the baby?'"

"…Ah. Of course." She chuckled weakly. "What else?"

"You think…?"

"No. Way too early. I'd know."

"Hanabi can confirm."

"Just like she confirmed its gender, right?"

She hadn't.

They had decided not to confirm it at all, after that.

"…Well, I'm still staying with you." He decided.

"Fuck off, you're not staying here and watching me like a guard dog." She muttered.

"You bet I'm going to."

"There's no need." She repeated. "Away with you."

"Nah."

"Leave a clone, whatever."

"Nah. You'd stab them. I'm not drunk enough to fall for it."

They heard Sakura's voice coming from the other room, loud enough to be heard.

"—You know, the first time Naruto told us about being a reserve genin, I thought it was some sort of program where the kids with special needs were put—"

"…Is it not?" Toru asked.

Naruto sighed.

"Okay, so they are drunk enough."

Yugito snorted, despite herself. "I'll be fine — I'm already much better. Let's go back."

So they did.

Most of them were celebrating. Pretty hard, at that. Most of them.

"…Why is Kaguya so pale?" Naruto asked.

"Don't be rude." Orochimaru hissed.

"Sorry, didn't mean to remind you of your time in the Academy." Naruto chuckled.

Kaguya wasn't saying a word. And she looked worried, too. Which was probably not a good thing.

Tanabe Mai slammed the door open. Which was never a good thing.

Naruto groaned. "Oh, boy."

He healed himself, getting rid of the alcohol in his blood straight away.

"The sensors were triggered—" Mai began.

"I know." Orochimaru nodded. "From outer space. They have breached, too. They must be very strong." He smiled slightly. "Back to the drawing board, then."

"—Five people were spotted floating over Hirō. They seem to be heading toward Konoha."

"Naruto and I shall pay them a visit, then." Orochimaru nodded again.

"I'm glad you're taking this so seriously." Naruto muttered. "If your barrier actually worked as intended…"

Orochimaru shrugged. "Science is an ongoing process. Besides, I learn from my mistakes."

"And we pay for it." Naruto nodded.

"Yes."

There was a sudden silence once most of the others realized what they were talking about.

"…How pale are we talking? Kaguya pale—" Toru began.

"Yes." Mai cut him off.

"Ah. Fu—…dge." Kage muttered. "Can someone sober me up…? I think the Moon people are here."

Karin did. And just like the rest of them, she put on her battle fatigues in a few beats. Everybody was here and ready — not that this would matter too much, as there were ways they could have been reached otherwise.

Hanabi focused, peering through the arrows she had disseminated throughout the skies.

"They are there." She confirmed. "Heading toward Konoha, indeed."

"Very well. Orochimaru?" Naruto asked.

Orochimaru nodded. He stood up and activated something.

Kaguya spoke again, sounding… worried? "You have made other preparations, then?"

"Well, they are coming after Kaguya, right?" Karin shrugged. "It's the least he could do, after bringing her down." She said pointedly.

Orochimaru looked nonplussed. "I believe they came because of you, not Kaguya. I'm sure someone is bound to notice a world-jump, at some point."

"I don't think that's it, frankly. And… Don't — Not now." Naruto cut them off before they could point fingers. "We can argue later. Let us see if the Ōtsutsuki are peaceful… can be reasoned with… Or not."

Kage was limbering up. "Yeah… I wouldn't count too much on that."

"Warmonger." Hanabi muttered. "Say, why are you worried?" She asked Kaguya. "These guys are your alien friends, right?"

Kaguya didn't answer her.

Orochimaru did, though. "They are not." He began. "Kaguya betrayed them a long time ago."

"…How do you even know this?"

"We spoke. I'm a good listener." He left it at that.

"Should we really trust someone like this…?" Toru asked slowly.

"…Trust?" Hanabi blinked. "Also, which of them do you mean?"

"See the bright side of it. Kaguya is on our side." Orochimaru simply said. "And she is coming with us."

"That's crazy talk." Toru frowned.

Orochimaru shrugged, ignoring him. "Naruto?"

"Shall we go?" Naruto asked flatly. He meant fighters only, of course.

Toru scowled. "You better have a great plan."

"We'll manage, either way." Hanabi nodded. "See you there. Well, before that…"

She gave Orochimaru a pointed look, hand extended... expectantly. He sighed, relenting.

Hanabi was the first to go away.

"Well…" Sakura began. She was fiddling with her left eye, and mumbling to herself — looking quite insane, honestly. "It could be much wor—"

"Please don't finish that sentence." Toru cut her off.

"—se. Don't be so superstitious." Sakura laughed.

Yugito doubled over in pain, holding onto a nearby couch.

"Okay, maybe I was wrong." Yugito muttered, groaning. "About the baby, I mean."

"…Never mind, then." Sakura admitted with a rueful chuckle. "Sorry, Toru. Sorry, Yugito."