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The morning after. Umigakure.
"He's such a cutie." Ino smiled softly, giving Naruto the baby back.
She had been afraid of having mixed feelings about the issue, considering the circumstances… but it turned out that when everything was said and done… she simply didn't.
Most of them had gathered here - Karin was sleeping the last night off, though.
Several of Yugito's friends had come around already, and Naruto had fielded most of their awkward questions. It had taken up most of his morning.
Naruto held Yūshirō out to Sasuke and Kage, next.
Kage grinned at him, and the child made a gurgling noise in answer.
"He looks tough already." Kage nodded.
"…Tough?"
"Well, yeah." Kage continued. "Jinchūriki babies — or their children — tend to be, in my experience. Boruto fell from the table when he was like a few months old — he learned how to crawl and climb at about the same time, don't ask. He hit his head and—"
"…What?" Yugito asked, aghast.
"Yeah, that's the face Hinata made, too — or so she said, I wasn't around that day. But anyway, Boruto was entirely fine. He's not like a puny normal-human baby." Kage shook his head.
"…Did that happen to you, as well?" Naruto asked. "When you were a child."
"Hitting my head? — Well, no I don't — Oh. I get it. Very funny." Kage grunted.
Yugito hid a small smile.
"Anyway, they tend to grow pretty fast." Kage concluded. "Compared to normies, I mean. Same for you two, but you probably don't remember."
"I see." Yugito nodded. "Thank you for the warning."
"You're welcome. Say. Does little Yūshirō purr when you rub his whiskers, too?" Kage asked Yugito. "Like us, I mean."
Naruto gave him a look that very clearly told him to shut up, once he noticed Sasuke and Toru's ears perked up. "No. That's probably a you thing."
Kage gave him a dubious look, but just shrugged. Sasuke's eyes softened when he looked into the child's eyes.
"Well." Sasuke began. "Look at those chubby cheeks. What's your name, little one?"
Sakura chuckled, shaking her head. "Don't be fooled, Sasuke. He can't speak yet."
"I know that, you—" Sasuke took a deep breath.
"His name is Yūshirō." Naruto chuckled. "He's a monstrous bundle of world-breaking potential… all wrapped up inside an… admittedly pretty big demonic body."
Yugito glared at him.
"What?" He asked. "I think it's hereditary, now. Blame the rituals I did when I was a teenager. Or Orochimaru. He doesn't mind."
"If you think that's the problem with what you said…"
"Well hello there, Yūshirō." Sasuke nodded. He glanced at the child's parents. "I do hope that you're ready for a lifetime of late nights, dirty diapers—"
"Ha!" Naruto chortled. "As if. That's what seals are for."
"…What do you mean?" Sasuke asked pointedly.
Hanabi threw him something that looked like a cross between baby underwear and a diaper. Sasuke's first reflex was to throw himself to the ground — his son Jiraiya had taught him that particular lesson —, but the diaper was clean. There was a sealing formula inscribed on it. A vanishing tag.
"Problem fixed." She shrugged. "Bit of a misuse of space-time, but well… It works."
Sasuke paused.
"What?" Hanabi blinked. "You're decent with seals too, right?"
His nostrils flared, his eyebrows raised angrily. "Are you kidding me?! You had this… and you didn't even give me a heads up?!"
Naruto shrugged. "We sell them in Umi — got a few businesses. It's called 'The Stay Ahead of Ino's Spending - General Wares.'"
Ino huffed. "Oh please, I barely even touch your money, you blond ass."
"What about Sakura's?" He asked pointedly.
No answer came. Ino looked away.
"And you, Toru?!" Sasuke whirled upon him. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Toru shrugged. "I forgot."
Sasuke groaned in frustration.
"Won't that teach a kid to shit their pants, though…?" Sakura mused aloud.
"No." Sasuke grunted.
Naruto chuckled. "Hey, it's not so bad. Besides, babies are easy to deal with, honestly. Just read their childish thoughts."
Ino rolled her eyes. "And who made this possible, again?"
"You, of course." He grinned easily. "But we already know we'd be lost if you weren't here."
She smiled; Naruto held the baby out to Sakura.
"Damn, he looks kinda fucked up." Sakura pointed out, tapping the kid's nose. Yūshirō made a face. Naruto rolled his eyes.
Kage glared at her. "Language."
"…He can't even speak, I just told you." Sakura frowned too. "Are you guys blind or what?"
Hanabi stared at the baby with a stoic expression, but her eyes softened. She reached out to touch his hand. She took it away once the baby blew a spit bubble in her general direction.
Behind her, Toru and Akemi were making silly faces, trying to get the child to react. He kept on drooling instead.
Orochimaru walked up to the baby and looked up at it with a cocked eyebrow.
"A newborn. Haven't eaten one of these in a long, long while." He smiled, eyes going wide.
"I swear." Naruto muttered. "…He's joking, Kage, there's no need for you to flare your chakra." He added.
Yūshirō didn't react. Matatabi's nostrils were flared, though.
"…Huh." Orochimaru frowned. "He's a strange one. I think I lost my interest."
"Good." Naruto smiled.
…
"Why does he look like me…?" Uchiha Naruto asked.
The young Sasuke snorted. "As if."
"No no, but he really does."
"That would be because he is my son, little Madara." Naruto said, drawing closer to the two hell-spawns. "And you are a version of me — if a strangely loud one."
The two stiffened. Why they seemed to be terrified of him, Naruto didn't question. Children could be strange like this.
Idly, Naruto wondered why Sasuke had felt the need to bring these little shits along. He definitely had not bothered to bring his own children.
"My name's not Madara!" Uchiha Naruto roared.
Gods, was he loud.
"Oh, no?" Naruto pretended to frown. "That's what Itachi told me, though. Wasn't it…?" Putting the blame on the Hokage — any of them, really — was something Naruto considered himself pretty good at.
Uchiha Naruto was outraged.
"What?! Big bro said that?!" He screamed.
"He's not your brother!" Young-Sasuke roared.
"Why do you even care?! You want to kill him!"
"Not him. But stop hanging around him!" Young-Sasuke said hotly. "You don't know when he will snap. And he will! Just like that man! Except this one is even more powerful and has the village's backing!"
"So what?" Uchiha Naruto growled. "He teaches me jutsu!"
"I'm your brother, you idiot — I can teach you better than him — Stop asking him!"
Uchiha Naruto stuck his tongue out. "You barely know more than me, Moth—… Auntie Mikoto said so!"
"She felt bad for you!"
Sakura approached them.
"Hey kid, I heard you wanted a Sharingan?" She asked.
"Stop mocking him." Young-Sasuke growled, looking very much like a protective dog.
"Wow." Sakura deadpanned. "There's no pleasing some people."
She phased through Sasuke and poked the angry Uchiha Naruto, who tried to bite her finger. His jaws snapped around her finger… and slammed shut around the intangible digit.
She chuckled mockingly.
"Itachi taught you well, then." She nodded. "It's barely been what…? A few weeks? You already have your clan's temper."
Uchiha Naruto eyed her suspiciously.
"You — You really think so?" He asked hopefully.
"Yes." She nodded. "You're a true little Uchiha." She said, ruffling his hair.
He beamed and Young-Sasuke just looked away, grumbling that it was obvious that he was.
Toru, from the other side of the room, glared at her. He knew she did not mean it as a compliment. So did Sasuke — the one she knew well, not the child.
…
"Do newborns always look like this?" Boruto asked curiously.
"Usually." Hinata nodded. "You probably don't remember when Himawari was this small, because you were only two, then."
Next to him, Himawari's eyes were wide open. Kage had gotten the three of them over for a short little visit.
"Really?" Boruto asked dubiously.
Naruto rocked the baby back and forth. "I'm sure you were louder. Like the little Uchiha over there." He nodded.
Hinata glared at him.
"That is false. Boruto was a very well-behaved baby."
Naruto shrugged.
"Can I have a little sister?" Himawari asked brightly.
Kage stiffened. Hinata paused. Naruto just laughed and let them try to find a decent motive not to expand their family.
"Are you coming to my Chūnin Exams, Uncle?" Boruto asked.
Naruto and Toru answered at the same time.
"Yeah." "Sure."
They pointed at each other.
"Not you." "He's talking to me."
They scoffed.
"Are you blind?" "Typical."
Boruto laughed. "I meant both of you."
"You're just trying to appease him, now." Toru said. "But sure, I guess he can come too."
"I thought you were a Jōnin already, Boruto." Naruto said.
Boruto laughed. "You know it's not true. What did you think you were training me for, then?"
"I don't know." Naruto ruffled his hair, keeping the baby balanced easily. "I thought it was just family bonding. I'm sure you'd beat the shit out of twelve-year-old me." Naruto nodded. "Sasuke did, back then, so I'm sure you'd be better at it."
"Stop it…" Boruto muttered, but he sounded pleased.
"Anyway, yeah. We're all coming to see your exams." Naruto nodded. "Hey, is it still about murder?" He asked Kage.
"No." The man grumbled. "No murder." He thought about it. "...For the most part. Accidents happen." He added with a wince.
…
Yugito was yawning a whole lot. Naruto picked up on it.
"Yeah…" Naruto nodded. "You guys get out of here, Yugito's had a long day." She nodded at him, somewhat gratefully.
Hanabi squinted. "Didn't Karin heal her like… fully?"
"I don't care — The baby's tired, then. Or I'm tired. Whatever. Out."
…
"Gods, he's such a grumpy dad already." Toru sighed. "So this is how I lose my best friend… with thunderous applause."
"My husband, you mean?" Ino grumbled good-naturedly. "Don't worry, you still have your other closest friend. This gal." She said, pointing at Hanabi.
Hanabi and Toru shared a look.
They both began chuckling, as though this were the stupidest thing they had heard in a while. Ino rolled her eyes.
Sakura tilted her head.
"Why do they still pretend they hate each other?"
"It's a game they play." Akemi explained.
"That's strange." Sakura snorted. "Me and Ino don't do that. Right, wench number three?" She laughed, slapping Ino's back.
"Ino and I." Ino grunted. "And perhaps you would know a bit more about the strange games people play — as well as yourself — if you actually went to your appointed therapy sessions." Ino offered.
Sakura didn't answer right away.
"This isn't the time for your crusade, Ino." She shook her head.
"That's what you have been saying for the last few years, yes." Ino said dryly.
Sakura chuckled. "Then why did you assume my answer would change?"
…
"I guess we're visiting the islands, then." Kage shrugged.
He had helped get the people out, because he understood the struggle, as did Hinata. And this Sasuke, who was strangely polite.
"I've never been on an island." Boruto beamed.
Kage laughed. "Don't rejoice, once the Chūnin exams—" Hinata coughed. "Once the Chūnin exams—" Hinata coughed louder. "Are you sick, dear — Oh. Oh, nevermind."
Boruto was looking at them suspiciously.
"Do you have the Byakugan yet, big bro?" Himawari asked, entirely innocently. "You're squinting."
Boruto's shoulders fell.
"No." He grumbled, forgetting all about his dad's words. "I don't have it. Yet. Whatever. Let's go visit Uzumi."
"Umi." Hinata corrected. "Be careful around here, this is a bit different from most islands."
"Hey." Kage grinned. "Remember that time we went to the Land of Islands?"
"Yes, dear." She smiled. "I do remember—"
"How come I didn't come with you?" Boruto interrupted.
"You weren't born, mostly." Kage said dryly.
"Ah." Boruto muttered. Himawari laughed.
"Why is Unmi different from most islands?" Himawari asked.
"Ah." Hinata said softly. She didn't bother correcting her. "It is… mostly about its ruler."
"Who…?" Kage squinted. "My brother from another mother, Indruto?"
"Yes." Hinata said wryly. "Him."
"We're good friends." Kage laughed. "Nothing will happen to us."
Hinata nodded demurely. Her husband always saw the good in people. Even when there was none to be found.
"You may think that, yes. But you never know what a military tyrant might decide. They are, after all, not known for their mental stability." She said.
Kage shook his head. He was pretty sure that his alternate self was just the tyrant of the world, not Umi itself — because that one, he had helped to found.
"He told me he hasn't had a psychotic break in more than three, four years. You're worried over nothing." He waved off.
"I'm sure, dear." She nodded demurely. "I'm sure."
…
"I hate them." Shisui moaned. "I hate them, Anko. I hate that he reproduced."
She rubbed his back soothingly.
"I know, Shisui."
Perhaps she would wait another day to tell him that their own child would not become a Konoha citizen, then.
He was in one of these moods.
Karin was still sleeping.
Soundproofing seals or not, she was too sensitive to chakra presences not to notice if they went there. So the group went to Toru and Akemi's house.
"How nostalgic." Hanabi smiled. "I drew my first few comics on this very same table."
"It's not the same table at all." Toru said dryly.
"Ah." Hanabi frowned. "Whatever. It's just a table." She sat herself comfortably, as though she were still living here.
So did Sakura, balancing on their balcony's railing. She lit her pipe with a pleased sigh.
Then she frowned.
"Say…" She began, calling to the people inside.
"Yeah?" Toru asked. He was currently getting his fingernails painted black by Akemi.
"Whatever happened to Isshiki…?"
"Who?" Hanabi frowned.
"…That alien I gave you yesterday."
"Ah."
Toru squinted. "Are you asking because of the nails…? I didn't get the idea from him, he just reminded me of it—"
"Kaguya stabbed him." Ino cut him off, before he could lose track of where he was going with that sentence.
"What. Why?" Sakura moaned.
"Why does Kaguya do what she does?" Ino asked dryly. "Ask her. Also, she ate him."
"Kinky." Hanabi blinked. "Well, if that was consensual… Before or after she killed him…?"
"Not like this." Ino groaned. "The Fruit thing."
"Oooh. That."
"Where is Kaguya?" Sakura asked.
"Why would I tell you? So that you can up your murder count?" Ino shook her head. "She's on our side now. Apparently."
"What."
"Kage did something to her."
"So not Shisui, then. Of course." Sakura nodded, as though she had known it.
"Please don't talk shit about my brother." Toru called. "He's feeling pretty down today, already."
"Why?" Sakura chuckled. "Did his imaginary friend get a promotion and now he's feeling inadequate?"
"That's strangely specific, Sakura." Ino muttered. "Kazumi has some spots this month, if you feel like therapy might—"
"Did Shisui's shadow quit and now he's feeling left in the dark?" Sakura ignored her.
"The fuck are you mumbling about?" Toru mumbled about.
Sakura just gave him a wide, lazy smile.
…
Uchiha Naruto and his brother had escaped, of course.
And they knew they didn't have much time before their older brother — the older Sasuke — caught up to them, so they hurried.
They had one single goal here.
To find Matatabi, the ninja cat.
"Let's go south!" Naruto called.
"You don't even know what's south." Sasuke muttered.
"It means down, on the map. Itachi said so." Naruto nodded.
"Itachi said this. Itachi said that." Sasuke mimicked. "What are you, seven?"
"I'm eight." Naruto grunted. "And also, Mom—… Auntie Mikoto said I could become a great chakra tracker with more practice."
Sasuke scoffed. "As if."
"I think I can feel Matatabi, actually." Naruto retorted, ignoring him.
"You have a decent nose, sure, but… To become a chakra tracker — Hey, are you listening to me?"
Naruto took off running. "Let's go let's go let's go!"
Sasuke grunted but followed. Mostly to make sure he didn't kill himself — neither of them had mastered that water walking thing.
Though why any Uchiha would choose to walk over water, Sasuke did not understand.
…
"I told you your chakra senses did not work! You never listen to me—"
Uchiha Naruto ignored him. He addressed the man who he was sure was his long-lost father, with awe.
"D-Dad…?" He asked, eyes wide open. He had just followed one of the largest chakra around. One that felt a bit like Matatabi, really. Despite what Sasuke said, he could feel some things.
"Uh…" Kage muttered, looking at his wife for an answer. Hinata didn't have one. "Sorry, but no."
"Oh." Naruto frowned. Then he shrugged. "Well. Whatever. I didn't really expect to — Who are you, then?"
Kage paused.
"I'm you — Well, Uzumaki Naruto. Though they call me Kage because—"
"You're the Hokage?!" Naruto beamed.
Kage chuckled fondly. "I am. Ah, I guess I used to be pretty enthusiastic about it."
"Tell me more! How did you do it?!" Naruto asked, voice rising an octave.
His mother had very soft eyes when she looked at this strange, young, alternate version of his dad, Boruto thought.
Kage ruffled Uchiha Naruto's hair fondly and shrugged, motioning for both kids to come along with them.
Sasuke frowned as he saw the man pat his brother's hair. No one did that to him. Well, besides Itachi.
But then again, that Man used to do it, too.
Kage seemed to pick up on it and ruffled his hair too. Sasuke growled, mostly because he felt he had to. Still… Matatabi could wait until Naruto was done talking to that man, he guessed.
Kage just laughed, as though he had expected it.
…
"Guys, I think we're forgetting something." Toru said.
"Gals." Hanabi corrected. "Your meds, perhaps?"
"I don't take — Whatever." He ignored her. "I just… I just can't remember what it could be."
"Naruto would know." Sakura waved off.
"Well, he's currently playing daddy, so…" Toru trailed off.
"There's no playing." Ino said.
"Hey, aren't we supposed to bring the kid gifts, or something?" Akemi asked.
"…I guess?" Toru muttered.
"What do newborns even like?"
Sakura chortled.
"Having Bijū sealed in their gut?" She chuckled, and Ino tried to slap the back of her head — she went through, of course. "Jokes aside, they're babies. They don't like anything."
"That's not true." Ino denied.
Sakura shook her head. "You're just saying this because I said it. Because I've given you two choices: either you believe the ridiculous theory that newborns have a mind… or you have to agree with me. Which one do you girls think she will pick?"
"That makes sense." Hanabi nodded.
"It kinda does." Akemi agreed as well.
"For fuck's sake." Ino muttered. "And newborns like… cuddling, sleeping… feeding?"
"See? How bland is that?" Sakura chuckled. "Hesitation is a bad look on you, Pig."
"…Why did I even marry you?" Ino groaned. "That was my worst idea, by far—"
"Just wait till that Uzumaki penpal comes back." Sakura chuckled.
"We're not doing this." Ino said flatly.
"Ah!" Toru gasped. "That's it! I remember."
"…What is it, now?" Akemi asked.
"Fucking Gama and the snake-woman — That's what." He breathed out.
"Oh, these guys." Hanabi rolled her eyes.
"…Who?" Sakura frowned.
"…We already told you." Ino sighed. "Gama's a Naruto who's Jiraiya's adopted son and Hebi's a Naruto who's an Orochimaru's biological daughter."
There was a pause.
"She's what?" Toru chuckled. "I thought she was just that man's daughter — who happened to have the same whiskers. But… A Naruto… who's Orochimaru's daughter?"
"Now that's just too good to pass up." Sakura chortled.
"Ah, shit." Ino grumbled. "Maybe I shouldn't have said that."
"Oh, he definitely didn't tell us." Toru continued, shaking his head.
"For a good reason, I think." Akemi said dryly.
"If we find them, we won't have to think of a gift for the baby." Toru continued.
"…Did this make more sense in your head?" Hanabi asked, only too familiar with the inner "workings" of his mind.
"It makes perfect sense, yes." Toru frowned. "Use your Mangekyō's power to locate him."
"…What?" Hanabi snorted.
"We already established that they aren't in any of the probable realms—" Ino began.
"Or that your mental maps are wrong." Toru said.
"They're not." Ino growled.
Toru shrugged. "Well, anyway. That's a good plan. We can find them easily, that way."
"That's not how my Mangekyō works." Hanabi cut him off.
"Oh, no…?" Toru asked with a sly glance. "Momoshiki could read the future." He let that hang. "I thought he was just provoking me when he said that—" Toru paused. "Uh, never mind. Anyway, I think he could really see it."
Akemi sighed in relief.
"Ah. That will make our lives much easier." She said. "Where is this Momoshiki, now?"
Toru scratched the back of his head, with a sheepish look.
"Kaguya ate him." He said. "But he was a bad guy, so there's that."
"…She ate him." Akemi repeated, flatly. "Him, too…?"
"Yeah." Toru confirmed. "She told us."
("I did eat him." Kaguya had stated with defiant eyes. "And I see no reason to pretend I did not.")
Ino rubbed her temples in frustration.
"So what?" Hanabi asked. "I wouldn't trust that man's ability anyway."
"And why not? Just because his eyes saw more—" Toru began.
"If he could really read the future, why is he dead?" Hanabi asked pointedly.
Silence.
"Uh." Toru blinked. "That's… a good point."
A new voice called out.
"Coming back to what you said earlier. Kaguya took his power for herself." Orochimaru stated absentmindedly.
All eyes were upon him.
"…When did you get here?" Ino asked, still feeling… somewhat pissed at him. "Don't you have species to genocide… things to… to ruin?"
"Just now." He waved off. "And no, not today."
"Then—"
Orochimaru spoke over her, inviting himself to the table.
"I could ask Kaguya, I suppose." He said. "She has been in a very pensive mood, since our meeting with her former clan."
"Oh, I wonder why that could be." Toru muttered.
"So do I." Orochimaru smiled. "Likely conflicted feelings on the issue."
"Ah..." Toru sighed dramatically. "It's such a shame that no one but Kaguya can do such a thing."
Akemi gave him a very unimpressed look. "...Really?"
"And Kaguya is so... unreliable. If only we didn't need her incredible eye powers..." Toru continued.
"Well… There's no need for that." Hanabi offered, frowning. "My eyes are better than hers, anyway. Whatever she can do, I can do. But better."
"That is not… necessarily true." Orochimaru said.
Hanabi felt her earring heat up. She gave permission.
Naruto appeared in the blink of an eye, drooling baby in tow.
"Oh come on, now." Sakura muttered. "Doesn't Umi have a nursery school?"
Naruto laughed, sitting himself close by. "It starts at three—"
Sakura smiled. "That's just a few hours away—"
"Years old." Naruto finished.
Sakura sighed. Yūshirō flashed a gummy grin at her and started to nibble on her finger.
"…These are weak teeth." Sakura declared, shaking her head. Then, seeing Naruto was watching, something soft in his eyes. "I'm only letting him bite me so that he can get sharper ones. This is just sad."
"I'm sure." Naruto nodded politely. "Say, you never introduced us to your apprentice."
"Oh, don't worry about it." She laughed off. "Uchiha don't really like social gatherings, they're very skittish."
Toru stared at her pointedly.
"…Did you say Uchiha?" Ino asked.
"…No?" Sakura frowned. "Why? Did you?"
"Oh, boy." Naruto muttered, once he realized the only likely candidate. "Please don't get us in trouble with Kage."
"Of course not. Sarada's very nice."
"That's not her I'm worried about."
"Me neither, she's doing great!" Sakura laughed.
Naruto shook his head fondly.
Hanabi spoke over the noise.
"I will say it once more. I am better than Kaguya." She said easily.
"Oh. I just spoke to her." Naruto nodded. There was a moment of silence.
…
"I took the trash out." His eyes flickered with amusement. "You can likely go home and seize power if that's what you want, Kaguya."
She knew better than to underestimate this one, in spite of the general sense of indifference — and the lack of deference he seemed to insist on.
"…What do you mean?" She asked.
"I trapped Shibai somewhere he won't get out of." Naruto informed her. "He is now the king of… well, nothing."
Kaguya blinked. Then she blinked a few more times. "…Is this your idea of a joke? You are playing a dangerous game."
"This is no joke." Naruto smiled slightly. "He is gone."
Kaguya had nothing to say. She just continued to blink owlishly.
"Now of course…" Naruto continued. He held out a hand to her, for her to shake.
"…What is it now?" She muttered, very aware of the fact that if he had done that to the King… there was not much preventing him from doing the same to her.
"You are free to stay here." Naruto said, his eyes flat. "Let me just make something perfectly clear to you, in case Orochimaru was as lax as I suspect he might have been. Kage spoke to you as well, I heard."
"…"
"Harm anyone, threaten anyone, play stupid games… Or do anything you suspect I might disagree with on a… fundamental level. Do that and you're gone. Possibly to meet Shibai."
Kaguya was not particularly happy about it, but she accepted the conditions.
She took the offered hand.
Then he smiled again, as though this had been nothing but a pleasant greeting, and not an overt threat.
Kaguya felt wary of him.
And the effect was only slightly ruined by the fact that he was currently making his drooling infant hover in midair. The child blew a spit bubble at him, and he simply smiled, shaking his head.
…
Naruto nodded. "Don't worry. She was very agreeable. She says she won't try to conquer Earth to rule us as her plebeian subjects."
"Great. But we don't need her nor—" Hanabi began.
"It is unlikely." Orochimaru cut her off.
"We really don't." Hanabi said.
"…I meant it is unlikely that anyone had an ability to perceive the future." Orochimaru shook his head. "Seeing a future, I can believe. Several of them… as well. But a concrete, definite, unique future…?" He shook his head. "Ridiculous. Besides, isn't Momoshiki dead? If he truly could—"
"That's what I said." Hanabi chuckled. "Glad someone is making sense here. For once."
Naruto sighed. Yūshirō, balanced on top of his head, was doing his best to drool into his hair. He caught that too, the same way he kept the baby suspended — and perfectly supported — in midair casually.
(It was as safe as it could be, he had practiced for months and months. It was like using a hand, at this point.)
"Can you please stop arguing semantics?" He asked. "I just want to see where the fuck Yoisen went. Ah, Gama and Hebi, too."
Ino glared at him for a specific reason.
"What?" He asked. "She's there because of me."
Ino continued to stare at him.
"…Where are the other Orochimaru and Jiraiya?" She asked.
Naruto blinked.
"Ah, fuck." He muttered. "Yeah, I guess it's time to use this Mangekyō Byakugan's super sight after all."
"Consider it done." Hanabi nodded brightly.
"Yes…" Ino muttered. "Great. Use your mystic powers to find the homewrecker, the pervert and the genocidal maniac's likely psychotic daughter."
"…I just told you I would." Hanabi frowned.
"I'm sure other-me is a good man, as well." Orochimaru dismissed.
"Hebi's not that bad." Naruto chuckled. "Plus… "psychotic"…? Wow. Judgmental much…?"
"Not like that. Sure, she may want to feel normal, but…" Ino shook her head. "…I don't think you truly get what growing up alone and then with her father has likely done to her psyche. Picture it. She has no idea what's supposed to be normal. Kindness…? To her, it's probably something that people do in order to obtain something—"
"That is what it is." Orochimaru smiled brightly.
"See?"
"…I'm sure it can't be that bad." Naruto said.
Ino scoffed. She was somewhat tired of being the reasonable one — which meant the complaining one, to people like Sakura. "Well… whatever. Don't say I didn't warn you."
In another world.
'My dearest Naruto,
I hope this letter finds you well, and that the winds of fortune have been kind to you. I must admit, writing yet another letter, one that will not reach you, is not something—'
She paused.
"…Too stuffy."
She started again.
'Naruto,
It has been far too long since we last corresponded, and I find myself constantly thinking of the memories we have shared and the joy of your companionship—'
"Too… stupid. We barely even spoke face to face." She grumbled.
'Dear Naruto,
There is something on my mind that I want to tell you about. You may perhaps know something of it already and it might not be news to you. I wanted to let you kno—'
"By my mother's name!" She cursed. "Why am I like this…?"
Yoisen let out a moan, palming her face.
"No matter. It's not like he's going to read it anyway." She muttered, burning it to cinders. There were other matters to attend to, anyway.
The Eye had recharged already, and she had no more reason to stay here, really.
She would leave soon, as soon as she was done checking this last possible lead.
The invitation letter had come a few days ago, now. It seemed that during her short stay here, she had made a little reputation for herself in the somewhat niche art of Devil Hunting.
The more wary part of her told her that it might well be a trap set up by demons. Admittedly, she was kinda curious about meeting one such as that, because most had been somewhat mindless.
Well, she was going anyway.
She would just bring weapons with her, in case.
Yoisen sighed and memorized the address. Their format had been somewhat strange at first, but nothing she couldn't get used to.
66 Slum Avenue it was, then.
…
Most of the buildings in the area were of what was called "neoclassical architecture".
There were churches and mansions that displayed another style, though. Yoisen knew it to be called "gothic architecture."
The narrow roads were bricked rather than paved, as she was used to, and buildings were commonly brick structures with wooden floors. And when they weren't separated by skinny alleyways, they often shared walls with their neighbors.
It was not uncommon for the first floor of a building to be located above street level. Which meant that one needed to go up stairs — or a stoop — to enter.
Apparently, the area also appears to share the vicinity of a more seedy part of town. The whole area had nearly been destroyed by the eruption of something called the "Temen-ni-gru", decades ago. It had been rebuilt since then, of course.
…
"Devil Hunters… Anonymous…?" Yoisen asked, still feeling that her grasp on the language was somewhat shaky. "Here?"
The other woman shrugged and misunderstood. "We know it's not exactly anonymous anonymous… But Trish liked the name better."
"…Trish?" Yoisen repeated the word, rolling it on her tongue. Not a word she was familiar with. "Meaning?"
"Oh." The woman blinked. "You're that Uzumaki woman, then. That's somewhat unexpected. Are you from the East?"
"No." Yoisen answered curtly. Mostly because it gave her less opportunities to mess up a sentence, really.
"…Okay? Well, I am Lady."
Yoisen stared. Did she misunderstand, perhaps…?
"Yes. I am lady, too." She smiled encouragingly.
Lady pursed her lips. "…That's my name. Well, the one I chose for myself, anyway."
"Ah."
"Uh. Welcome, anyway. Didn't think you'd accept the invite. Heard you were a weird—… uh. The reclusive sort."
Yoisen didn't get that word.
"Pleased to meet you." She bowed slightly.
"I thought you weren't from — Oh, whatever." Lady bowed slightly, too.
"I thought…" Yoisen began, motioning at the mostly empty room. "More Devil Hunters?"
"Ah." A nearby woman, with long blond hair chuckled. She had a powerful aura, something that felt like Lightning, but wasn't. "That would be because work's kinda slow, — and more dangerous — these days."
"…Invitation?" Yoisen asked.
"Yeah. We sent it." Lady said. "That's Trish, by the way, my… partner in business."
"Why?"
"We wanted to see who'd be strong… and foolish enough to enter this line of business, of course." Trish smiled, like a shark would — if they actually smiled.
"And we've heard about your demonic powers, too." Lady added.
"Demonic…? Oh. Hell powers." Yoisen frowned. Did they mean the ability to go in and out of Hell…? She had done that a few times.
"Well, this and the white hair…" Lady said, somewhat dubiously. "Aren't you…?"
"A relative?" Trish shrugged. "We met most of his family by now."
"…Who?" Yoisen asked, blinking.
"Never mind."
They wanted something from her, then. Yoisen pulled a perfectly preserved picture out. One Naruto had sent her, where he and Uchiha Toru stood shirtless, waddling over murky waters, right next to an admittedly large specimen of a strange sea creature.
Lady squinted.
"…Uh, yeah…? Okay? They're pretty big, I guess—"
"You know him?" Yoisen asked, pointing at Naruto. "Blond man."
"Never seen—" Lady shrugged. Trish elbowed her and she cut herself off.
"I see. My thanks." Yoisen nodded.
"Wait, there was something—" Trish began.
Well, that smelled too much like an incoming job. Yoisen bowed politely and prepared to leave.
"…Wait." Lady said.
Yoisen turned around. "Why?"
The black-haired lady turned to her blond counterpart.
"We know someone who might know of that man." Trish said.
The black haired one - Lady - nodded slowly. "His name is Dante — That's what we wanted to ask about, actually."
"He is stuck in Hell, as of now." The blond one shrugged. "I guess… you'd have to ask him."
Yoisen sighed.
"Very good." She frowned. "Very well, I mean. Wrong word, I believe. Show me what he looks."
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