World #01 — Umigakure.
Naruto pulled his hand away from the boy's ankle.
"Thank you, Shōgun-sama!" The kid beamed.
"Don't call me that." Naruto grumbled. That's what he got for going on a morning walk in the center. "And please stop jumping down walls."
"Of course!" The child lied. Naruto rolled his eyes. "What do I call you, then?"
"Whatever you want. Naruto is fine."
"Mom says you will eat me if I don't show proper respect." The kid said.
"…Tell Takako that I only eat chubby children." Naruto frowned. "Preferably roasted in hellfire or pure darkness. She should know, I told her to fatten you up already."
The child backed away. "…For real…?"
"No. Also don't tell her that I used 'godly power' to heal you. It's already enough of a pain to manage these… miracles on a worldly scale."
"I won't tell."
"…You will."
"No…? Anyway, I'm gonna be a ninja." The child said. "Then I'm going to fly down walls. And up, too."
"…Most ninja don't fly." Naruto said.
"I saw you fly."
"Sure, but that's not what being a ninja is about."
"What is it about?"
Naruto shrugged. "Never really figured, and I created the concept, somehow. Or maybe that's why. These things change a lot."
"…Okay?"
"Well, go to school, in any case, perhaps you'll see there's no need to become a ninja to fly."
"But I thought—"
"Later, kid."
Naruto disappeared.
…
…And reappeared at home.
Everyone was still sleeping, of course.
…Well, they had drunk a fair amount to… celebrate Boruto's advancing to the next stage. Toru was sleeping on the couch-bed he had Created himself, and Akemi was curled up in the fetal position next to him.
Sasuke — theirs — was still here and sleeping, which was… something of a surprise. Not as much as seeing his wife, who was sleeping next to him, but still something of one.
Just picturing Shisui taking care of their twins made Naruto hope they had chosen to rely on someone else. Itachi, Mikoto… Someone.
…Well, not his children, not his problem.
(His own was sleeping with his mother, away from this mess.)
Naruto considered kicking Toru awake, as the younger man had done to him several times before, but decided against it, in the end. He'd be complaining about it the whole day.
Well, he would likely complain about how they never got any 'bro time' or something equally silly instead... that it had been months since their last adventure with just the two of them, without having 'Hanabi bitch in his ear' or 'Sakura threatening to cut his little Uchiha balls off.'
That… was on him, though.
Naruto pressed his thumb on the whiteboard in their living room and left them a message.
Kaitaro — Naruto's Shadow — had realized that Itachi had found his own Itachi.
He shook his head in disbelief.
The nerve of that man.
Well, it was not another version of Itachi, actually. Rather, it was a cute woman with shoulder-length black hair and dark eyes.
(And she actually wasn't Uchiha, surprisingly enough.)
A Konoha ninja, then. She worked as his assistant.
Kaitaro resolved to steal Itachi's Itachi from Itachi in the next few weeks.
He knew how petty the Uchiha could be, and he simply couldn't afford to let him get away with this.
World #512 — The Ultimate ANBU Team
"Hey."
No answer came.
Jiraiya tried again, a bit louder.
"Hey."
"…What do you want, you buffoon…?" Orochimaru asked slowly.
Jiraiya grinned weakly.
"In case… the Hokage decides we are fakers to be disposed of, there's something I wanted to ask you."
"…What? Please tell me it's not about that Senju bullshit again-"
"…Are you still a virgin?"
"…That's what you want to ask?" Orochimaru asked dryly. "After everything…?"
"Well, I do know what you said about Hebi being your daughter and all, but I—"
"Assumed Kushina had better taste." Orochimaru drawled.
There was a pause.
"…Well I would have put it differently, but… yes, basically."
In spite of himself, Orochimaru chuckled.
"What's your take on it?" He asked.
Jiraiya hesitated.
"Well… I do know you're a poison expert."
"You utter—"
Jiraiya finished quickly. "And I guess you sorta have a silver tongue. Which I never really understood, because you spent most of that time scheming, plotting and—"
"That's not what happened with Kushina." Orochimaru cut him off. "Besides, this... silver tongue, I learned from sensei."
"…What?"
Orochimaru shrugged through his bindings.
"Charisma, I mean. It can be weaponized. You gather the young and talented and inspire unflinching loyalty in them." Orochiamaru said. "Kindness is to be wielded as a scalpel. That is what Sarutobi-sensei did to us, and we brought Konoha some glory in return, I suppose."
Silence.
"Man, you're fucked up."
"Why is that…? Sensei could have done worse things to us. Letting us grow in the dark, where we would be starved for the merest crumbs of affection, for one." Orochimaru said, giving him a pointed look.
Jiraiya looked away.
Both of their children had grown up in such circumstances, after all.
"…Yeah, that's why I don't really talk to you." Jiraiya grumbled.
"…I thought it was because where you come from, I tried to destroy the village one time or two."
"Yeah, also." Jiraiya chuckled weakly.
Silence stretched.
…
"…You think we're going to die?" Jiraiya asked evenly.
"Perhaps. Any regrets?"
Jiraiya winced. "Well, I do wish I had done a better job with Naruto — I think I'm really not cut out for this sort of thing."
Orochimaru said nothing.
"…You, too?" Jiraiya asked. He knew him a bit too well.
"…I have raised her to be strong." Orochimaru said. "Unfortunately, I have my… own set of failings in this sense. Loyalty is something I can inspire. But…"
"But your way tends to overlap it with fear." Jiraiya stated.
"Hmpf." Orochimaru made a displeased sound. "…I suppose it does."
"…I guess we're both kinda fucked."
"…Indeed."
"Well, I'm sure Tsunade would have done a shit job as well."
"…Undoubtedly."
"Just picture it."
The image of it was enough to make Orochimaru laugh.
Namikaze Minato, Fourth Hokage of Konohagakure, began speaking quietly, holding on to a sigh.
This was exactly the sort of day he regretted not having gone to meet the Shinigami, after all.
"…Please start from the beginning, Boar." He stated.
He could almost picture the face under the mask, eyebrows raising in this expression that was meant to be thoughtful, but looked more like a frown of concentration.
"Sorry, dad—" Boar started.
"Hokage-sama." Weasel corrected.
"Yeah. That. Anyway, we found that dirty snake—"
Tiger slapped the back of his head.
"What was that for, Sakura?!" Boar raged.
"Tiger. Protocol." She stated. "Respect it."
"…As I was saying before I got interrupted. We found the sna—… Orochimaru and his Jiraiya clone near the outskirts of Yoiji." Boar stated.
"…And then?"
"Then we subdued them, Hokage-sama." Tiger said.
"Bullshit." Boar laughed. "It was a difficult fight but we—"
"Subdued them." Weasel repeated, daring him to interrupt.
"…Guess we did."
Namikaze Minato rubbed the bridge of his nose.
He had chosen a bad moment to cut down on coffee, really. He could almost hear Kushina's voice, as though she were still there.
("Why the hell would you even stop drinking coffee? That's dumb." She would laugh.)
"…Did you find out what they were doing there…?" The Hokage asked. "Were they fighting?"
Boar hesitated.
"Not really, no. Or at least it didn't look like it—"
"Perhaps they were fighting a genjutsu battle, Hokage-sama." Weasel stated. "It is something that can look like a standstill from the outside."
"That's right!" Boar grinned. "Like that time you and Shisui had this mental battle for like minutes."
"Not now, Boar." Weasel stated, but he sounded pleased.
Boar shrugged. "That's all I had to say about it, this shit is boring."
Weasel glared at him.
Tiger glared at them. "Protocol."
"…Will you stop?" Boar glared back. "You two really have it out for me today, huh?"
Minato closed his eyes and counted to three.
"Anyway." Boar started again. "Mission complete. That's one enemy less for Konoha."
"For the greater good." Weasel said, trying and failing to sound unamused.
"For the greater good." The two others intoned, entirely tonelessly.
They sounded amused as well.
Minato groaned.
"I do not mean to sound dismissive, but I have some trouble believing you three would be able to subdue Orochimaru and his improved cloning jutsu, or whatever that may be." He said.
Boar looked outraged.
"You've been training me ever since I was—"
"That is exactly why I know it's unlikely." The Hokage finished.
Weasel snickered and Boar whirled upon him. Tiger raised a fist, and no fight ensued.
"I do not mean to doubt your skill, of course." The Hokage stated. "But if this Jiraiya is anywhere as strong as the one we know is—"
"He is just as strong." Weasel stated. "Hokage-sama."
"He truly was. Hokage-sama." The other two intoned. Minato bit back on his desire to tell them not to do just that. He knew it was about provoking him.
"…Then I don't think you would have been able to manage." The Hokage finished. "…Were they fighting you with another goal in mind?"
Boar frowned. "Well, Sasu—… Weasel. Told us that they didn't seem to want to hurt us, but that was likely nonsense. Another of Orochimaru's fiendish tricks."
Tiger blinked. "You know that word…?"
"…Perhaps they intended to be captured." Weasel stated.
Minato rubbed his nose again.
"So you brought them here, of course." He said.
Boar hesitated. Weasel didn't.
"Yes, but we made sure they were entirely incapacitated." He said. He omitted the fact that he had used surprise to good effect. "I used my Tsukuyomi on Orochimaru. He kept on lying during the entire thing."
"We sealed their chakra up, Hokage-sama." Tiger stated.
"It's all good." Boar grinned, waving his hand.
"They really are no threat." Weasel confirmed. "Anymore."
"Mission accomplished, Hokage-sama." Tiger droned on. "Long live Konoha." She added, with a hint of a chuckle in her voice.
"Long live Konoha." The other two intoned.
Minato sighed, once more.
"Well, let us pay them a visit, shall we…?"
…
"Minato." Orochimaru stated flatly. "How good of you to visit me."
"Us." Jiraiya muttered. It wasn't the first Minato he met, but it still felt... weird. He fell back on his mindfulness training.
Namikaze Minato stared at Konoha's worst traitor since Uchiha Madara. His sharp eyes expressed none of his true feelings on the matter.
"Orochimaru." He said flatly. "…What have you done, this time?"
Orochimaru sighed, in this dramatic way of his that had always creeped him out, back then.
"I assume there is no way we can talk it out…? I assure you, my intentions are good."
"We are world-travelers." Jiraiya said. "We tried to explain to your kid, but—"
Tiger scoffed. "This is getting pathetic, by now."
Minato motioned for her to stay back.
"…This is a big claim." Minato stated, keeping his guard up. "Any way you could back it up…?"
Orochimaru smiled.
"Well, of course." He said. "If you would just give us access to our chakra again…"
Minato smiled, just as thinly.
"Not happening."
"In that case, call for a Yamanaka."
"I am certain that you have now found a way to fool even them, have you not…?" Minato asked.
"Well that does leave us at an impasse, does it not…?"
"It does." Minato stated.
He began thinking.
A portal of dark light opened in the middle of the room.
…
"Oh, it's you."
Minato turned to face the stranger and froze.
So did Boar. Because the young man who had appeared looked almost exactly like him. A bit older, for sure. Bigger, too. Still, there were even the same three whisker marks on each of his cheeks. His eyes were purple, though, and it seemed as though something was shimmering behind them.
"Orochimaru." Boar growled. "What — How?!"
"I'm not your evil self." The stranger said, before pausing. "Well, not really."
Minato fingered a kunai.
"I just came to get these guys." The stranger said, pointing at Jiraiya and Orochimaru.
"I'm afraid I can't let you do that, not before we get our answers, at the very least." Minato said, eyes turning steely.
The stranger rolled his eyes.
"Well, okay then. We're world-hoppers, and these two got lost trying to find their children, who got lost somewhere in the multiverse."
Minato paused.
"See the problem...? Well, nice seeing you, anyway." The stranger said.
He moved to stand next to the two prisoners, so fluidly that it seemed he had not moved at all.
He grabbed them and freed them in the next move.
There was complete silence in the dark room.
A tri-pronged kunai flew with no sound, aimed next to the stranger. So did one wrapped in orange paper. Red eyes glowed, tracers in the dark. Water erupted, shaping itself into a blade.
The stranger saw — or maybe felt — all this, and sighed.
There was a flash of blue light, so bright it was almost blinding. And so terrifyingly strong. It dissipated the shadows in the room. Orochimaru and Jiraiya were both grabbed and thrown up in the air, so quickly that Minato barely understood the motion.
The stranger disappeared.
Something flew between Boar and Weasel, and their heads met each other's with an impact strong enough to break their masks. Then they fell bonelessly.
Minato's eyes snapped open.
(They were alive.)
A kick smashed into Minato's chest. It felt as though a rib broke, too. His eyes barely tracked the stranger. In a heartbeat, Minato crashed into Tiger, who grunted at the strength of the impact.
"Sorry." The stranger said.
Minato rolled, ready to stand up again.
Jiraiya and Orochimaru were falling, now.
The stranger grabbed them, there was a flash of dark light, and then they were gone.
And Minato had more questions than even before, more than he had answers.
World-Eater's Den
"So. We found your lost children." Naruto announced without much preamble. Not Yoisen, though.
Jiraiya and Orochimaru blinked.
They slowly stood up, untangling the pile of limbs they had managed to become.
Similar sighs of relief escaped them once they understood the situation better. They rubbed their wrists and tried to regain their bearings.
"Please be careful with this sort of artifact." Naruto frowned. "I had to work out a self-destructive condition in the newer batches of Eyes. Well, perhaps it is for the best."
Still, no answer came.
Naruto waited.
"…Where is she?" Orochimaru asked at last. "Where is Hebi?"
"…And Naruto?" Jiraiya added.
"They were in the same place, just days ago." Naruto explained. "That's not the case anymore, so—"
Orochimaru hissed his displeasure.
Naruto's eyes met his, and he waited until the man dropped his gaze. "So you two can go and get them separately, I guess."
Jiraya breathed in slowly.
"…Are they fine?" He asked.
Naruto paused. A small chuckle escaped him. "I… would guess so. Also, we do offer some word-class therapy for ninja. So keep that in mind. Although maybe that's not saying much, considering how new the field is." He scratched his chin.
"…Therapy." Orochimaru stated, flatly.
"Did I stutter?" Naruto blinked.
"My daughter won't need it." Orochimaru said dismissively.
Naruto rolled his eyes. "Well, I didn't necessarily mean for them."
World #7570 — Tokyo. The night before.
Gama looked down at the woman under him.
His frustration reached a boiling point.
She was panting, her eyes lost in his, breathing heavily.
The only thing he felt was a vague sense of unease. And disgust, at himself mostly.
Gama left her there.
He put on his clothes and just went out.
'I am the worst.' Gama shook his head ruefully.
The last days… had been somewhat rough, he could admit it. What with… that woman leaving him to rot like a gutted pig.
At the beginning, he had waited, hoping for her to come back.
She never did.
Nothing.
No more harsh words, no more insults, no more… nothing.
He was just left here alone.
He hated her.
And he compared everyone to her.
It hurt.
He thought he had found true understanding, something none of his friends back home could offer him…
And it was taken from him.
Now he was simply here, alone, in this strange world.
Waiting.
Unsure if anything would ever happen.
The only upside, if you could truly call it that… was that he had nothing left to lose.
"…Although, yeah." Naruto acknowledged. "They might need it as well. And not just because they're your children."
Jiraiya gave him a flat stare, but didn't bother refuting the vague insult.
"I…" He began, wearily. "I think I have had enough of this journey."
"I thought so." Naruto nodded.
"I'll give you the artifacts we agreed to give you—"
Naruto snorted. "What, the Helm of Water-breathing and the Shirt of Carrying Stuff…? I don't want them."
"…How do you know?" Jiraiya frowned.
"I have my ways." Naruto shrugged. "Same goes for the Pants of Many Pockets that Gama is wearing. We have more efficient methods."
"This one is not from Uzushio." Jiraiya said, sounding proud. "Naruto made it himself."
"Oh, nice, if a bit amateurish." Naruto nodded. "Did he make it when he was younger?"
"…No, it's pretty recent." Jiraiya admitted.
"Ah."
There was an awkward silence.
"So. Have you met any mind-altering horrors out there…?" Naruto asked.
Jiraiya winced. Orochimaru looked away.
Perhaps he had picked some of Toru's penchant for asking blunt questions.
"…Right." Naruto said. "You don't have to talk about it. There's enough…" He trailed off, before shaking his head. "Yeah. I get it, I think."
"Let's… call it an adventure overdose." Jiraiya said. "…I would rather spend more time practicing mindfulness, at this point in life."
"Man, that must have been some trauma, then." Naruto whistled. "Well, they say that the inability of the human mind to correlate everything there is… is the most merciful thing in the world."
"…Who is 'they'?" Orochimaru asked placidly.
Naruto smiled. "That's the beauty of it. Whoever you want it to be."
Orochimaru didn't seem particularly pleased by the answer.
"In any case, I do believe that we may have opened a box that probably should have been left closed." Naruto admitted. "But there's no crying about that, because it's done anyway."
"…"
"Well, let's go and get your wayward children, then."
World #7570 — Tokyo.
Gama woke up in a holding cell.
It had only been a matter of time, really.
He found that he didn't really care, in any case. No cell could hold him. Gama just stared listlessly, humming a song he knew.
He mostly remembered drinking, and letting himself be carried away.
The guards were muttering about him, and he didn't care enough to listen to the conversation either.
And…
There was a commotion.
"How many people has he killed…?" A very familiar voice asked.
Gama blinked.
It took him a little while to remember to extend his senses.
What the hell was Jiraiya doing here…?
…
"Uzumaki!"
A guard roared, knocking at the door of his holding cell.
Gama turned to face them, groaning.
"Yeah… I think I'll be staying here for a while." He grumbled.
Jiraiya stared at him, unblinking. Gama smothered the relief he felt at seeing the man, because he was not alone.
"Let's get out, Naruto." Jiraiya said.
Gama scoffed. "You can't make me. Nor that freak with you."
Orochimaru chuckled. "Oh, I assure you, I can make you leave."
"Orochimaru, please." Jiraiya growled.
Gama laughed and stood up.
"Why don't you make me, then…?"
"It would be my pleasure." Orochimaru smiled thinly. "After all, I believe you may have something to do with my daughter leaving."
Gama winced. Orochimaru picked up on it.
"I thought so." He said tightly. "Well, do entertain me for an instant, will you…?"
"Don't." Jiraiya held up his hand.
Orochimaru hissed. "I am not doing anything."
"I was not talking to you." Jiraiya said. "Please."
The third man of their small group rolled his eyes and ignored his advice.
…
"And here I hoped you wouldn't be an idiot about it. Get out."
And then a powerful presence stopped hiding itself. It flooded the building, like thick waters.
Gama knew who it was, of course.
"You!" Gama roared. His frustration, his pent-up anger bled through the single word.
Someone had to pay for this shit. And if it couldn't be Hebi, and it couldn't be Orochimaru… then perhaps it could be the one person he thought might give him a true challenge.
Yes.
Gama saw it all, now. He would make that overconfident, arrogant version of himself see the truth. As well as his bloody knuckles.
Gama jumped, bolstered by his Sage Mode — and it had taken him a while to even gather that much energy, in this world.
Bright chakra, full of life energy, spread through the room.
He was the mountains, he was the rivers, he was everything in between.
Gama roared, as though he were the fury of Mother Nature herself—
Naruto slapped him away absentmindedly, and Gama slammed into the wall with a mighty crash.
"Please don't attack me." He stated.
Then he picked him up and threw him through another dark portal.
Gama just had time to blink and then… he was back in the sealable home he and Jiraiya lived in.
Naruto threw him something.
"What the fuck—"
…
"That's one." Naruto nodded in satisfaction.
"…Did you need to be so rough?" Jiraiya asked flatly. "I know he can be a bit…"
Naruto blinked. "Did you think this was rough?"
"…"
"Right. I thought so." Naruto nodded. "You go after him, then. I'll open a gate. I'm going to have to come back here, I'm sure. Fixing the mess that guy must have made and all… But that comes later. Next one."
World #613 — Elsewhere.
Hebi knew that when people called Minoshō the "Most Enlightened City" in the West, they didn't mean it that way.
In any case, flames roared through the place, and all she could do was breathe the smoke in.
Her face was even paler than usual in the light, almost waxy. She pointedly ignored the jar at her waist.
Wind.
With a roar, Hebi slammed her hands together, weaving hand seals with a practiced sort of ease.
"Wind Style: Great Breakthrough!"
"Wind Style: Tearing Gale!"
She released both techniques at the same time, clearing the worst of the ash away.
It didn't do much for the hot air, but it would at least allow some people to escape from this nightmare.
They ran and they ran.
Hebi didn't know if it was going to be enough. Next to her, an enormous beast lay on its side, its chest blown open.
Just like her own almost had been, just moments ago. Flesh burning. Fires.
She still glowed, in the Nine-Tails' gold; it did nothing for her exhaustion. She found her legs trembling. Not out of fear, though.
Was she actually going to die…?
No. These were treacherous thoughts. Think.
Hebi barely managed to stand on her legs, and the enemy barely seemed affected at all.
The two figures in white glanced at her. One was a large man who wore a short white beard and fine clothing. The other, the small and youthful-looking one, seemed amused.
He remarked something to the large one, in a tongue Hebi did not understand. They both exchanged sharp laughs, but the large one regained his composure quicker.
Hebi found herself trembling slightly as they approached, slowly gliding down from the heavens. She gripped her sword arm tightly, cursing her weakness.
Their chakra were both heavy; powerful.
One bore the Rinnegan in his palms, the Byakugan in his eyes.
She knew she had no chance of getting out of here alive.
With a roar, Hebi called upon her chakra, upon the Nine-Tails' at the same time. If she had to go down, she would go down fighting.
The two pale-faced men stopped.
A portal of dark light opened and a man dropped out of it.
She saw a flash of blond hair and her first thought went to the idiot.
It wasn't him, though. It was that other Naruto. He lifted his head, seemingly uninterested in the chaos around him.
"Ah, it's just you, Momo." He said.
The smaller man paused. "…What?"
Hebi frowned too. They could speak their language, then…?
Uzumaki Naruto turned to address her, ignoring them. "You seem to share our habit of finding our way straight into trouble."
Hebi let out a shaky sigh. "…Perhaps it is true. How…"
"Did I find you?" He asked, before shrugging. "We're half-decent at tracking people, by now."
She let herself hope, for a moment. She couldn't feel his chakra, not really at least, but she knew he must be strong. Otherwise…
"You kinda missed your destination." He said, motioning toward the flaming city.
"...Don't you think I noticed?"
"Also…" He began. "I'll be taking the Eye back, thank you."
Hebi pursed her lips.
"Now, really…? Out of all things."
"I wouldn't want you to make a mess of things, of course." He chuckled. "Hand it over."
For some reason, she felt compelled to give it.
"Thank you." He nodded and in the next beat, dozens of clones appeared out of thin air.
Hebi took a long inhale, and tried to regain some of her countenance.
"All right." She said. "Let's take them on. Clones might be a helpful—"
"They're here to stop the fire, though." He said softly.
Hebi drew herself up. "They are not opponents that we can just—"
"I know exactly what sort of opponents we're dealing with." He said evenly.
The small man made an amused sound. "You forget your place, human."
"Do I?"
"Of course." 'Momo' smiled thinly. "At our feet, like the rest of the univer—"
"Ah, yes. True!" Naruto said, slapping his forehead. There was a hint of a smile peeking through. "I can't believe I forgot."
Something about the casual dismissal made the two pale men's eyes tighten. Power rose, cloying and all-powerful. They were getting ready to attack.
Hebi shivered.
Naruto seemed to be as close to a true smile as he had been since he had come here.
Something else rose through the air. Something that made the two other men's chakra feel like candles in the wind. "Take a bow, Momo." He said softly.
And the two pale-faced men fell from the sky like anchors, the same way Hebi's stomach did.
…
Hebi had no words for what she had just witnessed.
It had been closer to a summary execution than an actual fight. Something she wasn't entirely sure she could even give a faithful retelling of.
There had been fire and blood and smoke.
Uzumaki Naruto had spread his arms and the chakra surrounding him had bloomed, like a deadly flower unfolding. Then he had taken a few sure steps forward, gently, as though he were walking on glass.
Night had turned into day; or perhaps day into night.
For a moment… he seemed as though he eclipsed the sun.
There was silence; the patient sound that served as a presage for the coming fall.
Purple light, the smell of ozone, twin roars; two heads rolling.
There had been fire and blood and smoke.
And then there had been nothing at all but the terrified, relieved cries of the people.
…
"Well." Naruto said, slashing his hand to shake it free from the blood that covered it. "That's it for the aliens. I'll help you make your way home."
"…"
"Don't cause too much trouble." He said, putting something in her hand before she even realized he had done so. "To contact and meet your… friend, I guess." He shrugged. "Whatever. These matters are your problem, and I won't throw stones from a glass house."
Hebi wasn't entirely sure what he was talking about. She was certain she didn't want to make him displeased, in any case.
"…"
"So." He said. "Tell me. Did you and Gama cause any trouble back there, in that town…? Anything that needs fixing…?"
…
Once he more or less booted Hebi back to his own universe, Naruto set foot in Tokyo again.
He took some time to observe the world and glean a few thoughts about its workings.
Mostly because he had no idea what the hell was going on here, honestly.
World #7570 — Tokyo
Nacchan was having a decent day, and a decent evening too.
He hadn't heard from Gama nor from Hebi in a little while, which he still was not sure how he should feel about. It could be a good sign… or it could be an ominous one.
He chose to believe it was a good thing, in any case.
Today was a Thursday, and there was nothing very particular about the orange evening sky. He was eating rice with pickles, as well as some meat. Nothing very particular about that either. Dad was talking about office politics, and most of it was dreadfully mundane. Nothing like flame-spitters and brainwashers.
Sakura had been acting pretty strange, recently, but Sakura could be kinda strange, sometimes. Nothing very particular about that either.
The bell rang.
For a second, Nacchan felt the same familiar feeling of dread welling up inside his stomach.
He pushed it away, because there was no way either of the two would come back for him now that they had what they wanted. And they wouldn't bother using a doorbell. They'd probably smash a window… or something.
Dad shrugged and went to get the intercom.
"Yes…?" He asked.
Then he frowned.
"If it's the sales people, tell them to fuck off." Mom laughed.
Dad motioned 'no'.
"Same if it's the neighborhood organizers. It's our place." She said.
Dad shook his head.
In spite of himself, Nacchan paid closer attention. Even Mom did, and it was hard to get her to focus on… well, anything.
Dad blinked.
"My… son from another reality, you say?" He repeated, somehow annoyed and still polite. "That's… a strange prank, but—
"The video." Mom said.
"Ah, turning on the video, you say…?" Minato mumbled.
The same anxiety welled up inside Gama. Or rather, his stomach dropped.
"Huh." Minato said. "You… do look like Naruto, actually. Not enough for me to let you in, because that's wild talk, and also creepy but—"
Nacchan stood up suddenly and pushed Dad out of the way.
"Hey, now." Dad frowned.
Nacchan stared.
That was not Gama, although they might well have been brothers. It was a handsome, huge man who looked to be about the same age, dressed in an impeccable three-piece suit. He had a very intense stare, too. And the same damn marks upon his cheeks.
The anxiety redoubled.
Nacchan groaned.
"Oh, for fuck's sake."
"You must be Nacchan, then." The man said evenly. "May I come in?"
Hell… is Others
My dearest Naruto,
As I put pen to paper, I find myself in a state of weariness, though not to that great of an extent. I presume the nature of this place is getting to me, after all. And I find myself wondering how you have managed to remain in a similar place for so long of a time.
Presently, I find myself alone. In this solitude, I must confess that the weight of my exile is bearing upon me, unlike ever before.
How strange it is, indeed.
I must admit that this endeavor may be futile, for I understand that this letter may never reach your hands. And yet, I still find myself doing it, an urge I cannot resist. Silence from you is worth more to me than conversation with strangers.
At times, I believe I hear this place whispering back to me. However, I cannot fully comprehend the words spoken, regardless of how much I strain. It is akin to clutching at smoke.
Truly, it is a most peculiar form of torment, is it not?
Pray tell, are you present to receive these words?
Yours truly,
Yoisen
Hell.
Yoisen's not-nearly-infinite patience was reaching its end.
She spat a piece of skin that had found its way into her mouth with a scowl.
This was a never-ending rush of creatures, all of them seemingly focused on her. She dashed forward, sword dragging behind her.
There was a searing glow, heat, and flame.
She brought the sword down with a growl.
The demons' skin didn't take so well to the heavy fire, and they melted, like twisted imitations of candles.
Their crude features, from the startled, lifeless eyes to the gash that served as a mouth, didn't change much as they did so.
There was a flash of movement behind her and she whirled around.
There was blood in her eyes, now.
She saw red, not only literally.
The air crackled with power.
It felt heavy with something that could be called anticipation.
Sweat pearled down the man's face. It was a fight for supremacy, as it always had been. Everything was tinted with a reddish haze. He steadied his grip on the sword that was his namesake.
Power coursed along his veins, shifting him into something more.
His skin hardened, sprouted bony ridges and gleaming red from a shiny core of power. Wings unfolded behind him, and his breathing came out searing hot, closer to steam than a true human breath.
Here, they could fight endlessly, without meaningless human concepts like bills, jobs and property damage.
He let something that would have been a smile, usually, stretch his chitin-like face.
"I believe I'm leading." He said, his voice rattling in the metallic way it tended to when he truly let go.
His brother scoffed, straightening slowly. He was clad in the same power. "And I believe you never learned how to count."
They both chuckled.
And then there was someone else.
Neither of the two men let their guard down. The woman might have come in hands raised, but that meant nothing at all. Especially considering how deep in the Qliphoth they were. No human would reach down there.
Hell, even Trish might have some trouble.
"Dante." The woman said, pointing at him.
He blinked.
"…That's me."
"Trish and a lady sent me."
Dante let out a long-suffering sigh. "Ah."
His brother raised his eyebrows in a healthy mix of suspicion and confusion. He managed to make it look mocking too, somehow.
…And that guy really better not say anything about the topic, considering his last known interactions with women led to a quarter-demon child growing up alone.
The woman drew closer, uncaring of their demonic appearance.
Dante let it fade away. His brother didn't.
The woman pressed something into his face. Then she waited expectantly.
"You know?" She asked.
"Whoa." He laughed. "Look, babe, I appreciate the thought, but I've already got enough pictures of handsome dudes hanging in my office."
"…Do you mean pictures of yourself, by any chance…?" His brother asked. "Still…?"
"Well, yeah." Dante shrugged. "Who else?"
"How childish."
The woman glared at him. Dante could admit that the golden eyes did look pretty intimidating.
"…What's this all about?" He asked.
"This man." The woman said tightly. "I'm looking for him."
Dante chuckled and shook his head. "Sorry. We don't do that kind of work."
Vergil scoffed. Then he let his own transformation fade, revealing a near-identical face to Dante's own. When she spoke, his voice was cool and collected. "I'm afraid my… brother is right. In any case, I do not work with him."
The woman's eyes tightened.
Dante tossed the photo back to her. "Sorry, sweetheart. You'll have to find another hero to rescue your damsel in distress."
Vergil gave her a quick, cold nod. He turned back to Dante. "Shall we get back to it…?"
Dante grinned and twirled his sword. "Let's rock."
There was silence.
And her voice rose, flat as unfeeling music.
"I was told that you knew him." She said.
Dante shrugged. "Trish probably lied. Or Lady, maybe. Sorry. They're all sorts of crazy when left alone."
Silence.
"I think my associates just fleeced you." Dante shrugged.
More silence.
"…What about you?" She asked his brother, tightly. "He and I come from a world beyond. I… believed that he must have come across you, during his travels."
Vergil gave her a withering look.
"I have not met him." He enunciated clearly. "However, he must be a powerful demon. Crossing worlds is no easy feat."
Dante noticed the eager shine in his eye. Likely at the idea of fighting someone strong.
…Maybe they had been here for too long.
"…Not this shit again." Dante sighed. "Let it go."
Vergil gave him a frosty look.
"Do — you — know — him?" She asked again.
"No." Vergil said evenly, before focusing back on his brother once more.
Silence.
"…What?" Yoisen glared.
"Never met the guy, he just told you." Dante shrugged.
"…I do not recall having met that man."
Yoisen's hand tightened around her sword. Vergil smiled in anticipation.
"Perhaps you shall do for a warmup." He said, fingering his own weapon.
Dante sighed.
"Slow down, slow down." He said, throwing his hands up in the air. "Perhaps it's time we go back, after all."
Vergil gave him another of his trademark withering looks.
"…And why should I?"
Dante shrugged. "I feel like having pizza, honestly. And maybe Lady paid rent, also. We were kinda behind."
"And that means you forfeit this battle." Vergil said, a smirk pulling at his lips.
Dante chuckled. "No, it just means that you're going to have to follow if you want to have your fight."
Vergil scoffed.
"You can't leave without the Yamato—"
The woman opened a golden rift.
One that they could see led to the Human World.
Her expression was a furious thing.
"…Thanks for getting us out, then. That guy was really enjoying our stay too much." Dante laughed, getting ready to step in. "I'm afraid we don't have money to pay you, though."
"Not — a — word." She bit out.
"As you say." Dante shrugged. "Thanks again. I was kinda bored playing hellish lumberjack, and the work's done anyway. See you on the other side, asshole." He called out to his brother with a wink.
"Why you—"
Dante disappeared into the gate, and his brother followed.
Neither of them were here to see the woman let out a mostly incoherent scream of rage.
…
Yoisen left this world right after that.
She had theorized a fair amount about the workings of this particular Rinnegan's power, and she was pretty sure she should be able to land closer to her intended destination, this time.
Also, she was fuming.
So either it worked and sent her where Naruto was… or she would find herself in a similar enough world, where she could practice some more, until she got it right.
Or perhaps she messed it up entirely and disappeared where she stood.
You could never say.
…
When she stepped out of the dark portal, she knew that it was at least closer to her homeworld.
She felt a very familiar chakra close by.
Her heart stilled.
'…Naruto?'
She had managed, then…?
Her lips felt very dry, as she slowly turned around. Her heart beat quickly and hard in her chest. Or perhaps it had fallen somewhere near her feet. And she hoped she at least looked composed.
"I… I've been looking for you." She murmured.
"You never fail to surprise me, Shachi."
The voice didn't match.
Nor did the words, nor did the name he addressed her with.
It was familiar, though. This time, naked fear settled in her gut.
The hair was not the right color.
The face didn't match.
That was not her world.
And that man was Indra.
And from his chakra, he had somehow gotten his hands on what had once been Naruto's body.
Yoisen cursed inwardly.
She saw a spiraling red eye, and a pattern she knew all too well.
"Inari." Indra intoned, and his eyes whirled.
She knew his eye's power, of course. Very well, even.
Dominion.
It was a cloying power, one that turned every superstition one had against themselves, until all that remained was the sense that the only way to make sense of reality was to fulfill the given order.
"Welcome back, Shachi."
'Oh, by my mother's name.'