Naruto woke up with a slight headache in a tangle of limbs, with blond hair in his face.
There were supple bodies pressed against his own, under the light covers. It felt cozy, as it always did… in spite of the fact the bed had been designed for five people, not six.
Whether it was the alcohol, or just the enticing idea of an orgy — this, he could understand — Yugito had spent the night with them. Naruto thought to himself that perhaps she had come to terms with the general debauchery. He nodded proudly.
He slipped out of the covers discreetly, and Sakura still tried to punch him on reflex. Hanabi, usually an early bird, just growled at feeling someone move. Yugito was too tired to even react, and Karin slept entirely silently.
Ino continued to snore away happily.
Naruto smiled wryly and pulled the covers over them. He glided out of the room silently, headed downstairs.
He popped into the other room first. As soon as he did so, the shadow clone there dispelled and Naruto was hit by a small wave of fatigue. He blinked it away, a bit blearily.
Yūshirō was still sleeping. Matatabi wasn't. The Bijū's eyes were set upon Naruto.
"What…?" Naruto grunted. "Is it about watching over Yūshirō again…? It's just one night."
Matatabi said nothing, content to stare at him contemptuously.
"…Is it because I'm naked?" He asked. No answer came. "Look, you're walking naked all the time and nobody's complaining."
Matatabi continued to glare at him.
"…If you're feeling envious of Yugito, I'm sorry, but we're not giving you a human form so that you can join in." Naruto shook his head ruefully.
Matatabi hissed angrily.
"I'm very sorry." Naruto finished.
"If you think that's—"
"All good, then." Naruto rolled his eyes. Still, he slipped on some underwear, at the very least. This damnable cat would make him feel like a stranger in his own house if he let her lay down the law.
He reached downstairs. Toru, Akemi… Sasuke, Chōji and Kage were drinking again — or still drinking. In his house. And they were talking about Toru's fucking Tier List animatedly. Again.
Naruto rolled his eyes and decided to pretend he was still sleeping. He glided backwards, almost certain that Toru had felt his presence, at the very least. He went to the third floor and stepped out onto their balcony, stretching and smiling at the morning sky.
He heard a cup crash to the floor.
(His time practicing with the Deva Path had made him very familiar with this particular sound.)
It came from their newest neighbor's house. Yoisen was apparently on her balcony as well. She seemed pretty surprised to see him there. He stifled a laugh and waved her hello. She slowly waved back at him.
Naruto smiled and absentmindedly put on some real pants.
He jumped over the ledge and hovered over to her.
"Envy is a strange look on you, Yoisen." He said.
"…I beg your pardon?"
"I can't help but notice you built your house in a similar style to ours." Naruto said.
"Oh. It is called urban planning." Yoisen said. "If you built your own in Nashina style, it only makes sense for me to follow."
Naruto snorted. "Umi isn't Kuo. There are no particular rules about what you're allowed to build, the color of your roof and all that."
"Yes…" She said slowly. "I had the chance to go through the center, indeed."
"Too messy for your standards?" Naruto grumbled under his breath.
Yoisen blinked. "Did I say anything, by any chance?"
Naruto gave her a wry look. "You didn't have to. As far as I know, Umi is not a monochromatic, polished thing, designed by a single person."
She just hummed her answer back, a non-committal sound. In any case, she wasn't looking him in the eye — or looking at him at all —, and she seemed particularly interested in her pristine wooden ledge.
"You didn't come to the party." Naruto said.
She raised an eyebrow, now amused. "Was this meant to be an accusation…?"
Naruto laughed. "No, not at all." He said. "It was a good one, though. The party, I mean."
"I heard someone fall into the lake." Yoisen said. "Or it sounded like it, anyway."
"Someone was dropped into it. I'm sure Hanabi was aiming to drop that person onto the stone circle, but she must have missed." Naruto nodded peacefully.
Yoisen laughed.
She looked at the rising sun. Both of them did, in fact. It continued to rise over the horizon, and the plentiful shadows lifted with it.
"…Would you like some tea?" Yoisen asked. She finally picked her broken cup up from the floor.
"Sure thing." He shrugged. "Let's get to the center, then."
…
Yoisen knew she was in trouble.
She had known it since the first time she had met him after everything had been settled, of course. She also knew that his voice was somewhat intoxicating to her, by now.
The way that mouth seemed to curve up, and his purple eyes lit up. The heat coming off his statuesque body—
Yoisen pursed her lips.
"Tier 1, I say!" Akemi said.
Toru shook his head. "He's obviously at 0 level."
Kage mulled it over. "Which Tier am I in…?"
"Tier 0." Both of them answered..
"Then I think we can put Sas-… Sas—…" He frowned, and couldn't really compute the word. "My rival in Tier 1."
"See?" Akemi asked. "Jinsuke's definitely a Tier 1."
"You guys are not being fair." Toru frowned. "He's a 0."
"Or maybe you just tend to overestimate everyone." She said sweetly.
"I don't." Toru shook his head. "Chōji, which tier do you think you're in?"
Chōji blinked. "I… never really thought of it, I have to say." He admitted.
Kage slipped him the rulebook.
"Ah come on." Akemi grunted. "That's the one Toru made. Of course they're going to stumble upon the same answer."
Chōji read it dutifully. He drummed his large fingers on the table rhythmically. "I guess that would make me…" He hesitated, and checked the rulebook again. "A Tier… 11…?"
"That's right." Toru nodded proudly. Akemi groaned. He slipped him the scroll, and pulled it open. He masked the irrelevant parts again.
Tier 11: ELITE JONIN TIER (16-18)
Hatake Kakashi — Average Kakashi — No Kamui & Cloak (18)
Maito Gai (18)
Darui (18)
Hidan (18)
Kitsuchi — Grumpy Iwa guy(17)
That Rotten Bitch Fū — Base (17)
Uchiha Toru — Before Dying and Joining the Big Leagues (17)
Pakura (17)
Nara Shikamaru (17)
Lee Rock — or Rock Lee…? (16)
Suigetsu — Puddle Man from Kiri (16)
That Cranky Old Bat From Suna Who Acts Senile During Meetings (16)
Akimichi Chōji — Without Enhancement Pills (16)
Tenten — Post Naruto War Trauma (16)
Inuzuka Kiba — Post-Mortem Adjustment — R.I.P. Poon Hound :( (16)
Chōji looked kinda creeped out.
"I told you not to include Kiba in this tier." Akemi shook her head.
Chōji didn't say much, but It wasn't his only problem with this chart.
"Why shouldn't I?" Toru scowled. "He was a good friend. And so was Kakashi — Naruto probably realized I liked the guy so he decided to—"
Kage winced. That was another reminder of this likely terrible event.
"Please, guys." Chōji tried.
"What?" Toru asked, blinking.
"…Shikamaru is stronger than this." Kage frowned.
"Maybe in your world." Toru shook his head. "But he's had like years to do something other than masturbate and watch clouds." Chōji protested, so Toru had to speak louder. "I stand by my charts. Don't talk to me about Gates, please, that's another tier altogether."
"Okay, let's talk about Gates, then." Kage nodded.
"As you say." Toru made a swiping motion and they moved to the next Tier.
Tier 10: BARELY A KAGE TIER (19-21)
Uzumaki Naruto — Kakashi-Killing Quest (21)
Kabuto (21)
Zabuza (21)
Kisame — Base (21)
Maito Gai — Some Gates Bullshit (21)
Mei (21)
That Kazekage Before Chigusa (20)
Whichever Tsuchikage Naruto Appointed Now (20)
Hoshio man (20)
Akimichi Chōji — Dick-Pills Enhanced (20)
Lee Rock — Some Gates Bullshit (20)
Kisu woman (19)
That Bitch Danzō — Can't Even Use My Eye Properly (19)
Chōji was just as creeped out as before.
"You should really change the name of the category." Kage shook his head. "What if your Mei reads this…? She can be pretty mean."
"She'll likely try to boil my skin away from my bones." Toru shrugged. "But Itachi will protect me, he takes care of his honorary brothers."
Kage squinted. "That's debatable. Sas—… My rival wasn't doing so well."
"Different world, different rules."
"Naruto should be moved up." Akemi frowned. "Didn't he kill—" Toru stared at her. "…Beat Kakashi up…? And you put that guy in Tier 8."
"Ah, but this Naruto meant to kill him, it's not the same guy who actually did it." Toru shook his head.
"…I think he never meant to."
"He's not the most reliable of sources." Toru said. "But admittedly, I judge this one a bit more harshly."
He slid him over to the next category and showed them the next two tiers at once, masking the irrelevant parts.
Tier 8: HIGH KAGE TIER (25-27)
Kakashi — Purple Lightning Cloak (27)
Itachi — Akatsuki, not at home (27)
Kisame — Samehada Transformation (27)
Maito Gai — Real Gates Bullshit (27)
Neji — Akatsuki — Cloak (27)
Sasori — Akatsuki (27)
Sarutobi Hiruzen — Old — Third Hokage (27)
Onoki — Old — Third Tsuchikage (27)
A — Fourth Raikage (26)
Uchiha Fugaku - Fifth Hokage (26)
Uzumaki Ryūjin (25)
Tier 9: KAGE-LEVEL: WHATEVER THAT MEANS (22-24)
Haku — Akatsuki (24)
Orochimaru — Base (24)
Uzumaki Suijin (23)
Deidara (23)
Jiraiya — Base (23)
Tsunade — Base (23)
Konan (23)
Kakuzu (23)
Chōjurō — Fifth Mizukage #07 (23)
Chigusa (23)
Kaguya Kimimaro (23)
Mitarashi Anko — Before Rinnegan/Pregnant (22)
Uzumaki Naruto — Kakashi-Killing Quest (22)
"See?" Toru asked. "I even put your Mizukage in."
"You barely even saw him." Kage said.
"That was enough."
"What's Haku doing in here…? Akatsuki…?"
"Ino took his soul."
Kage looked stricken. "…His soul…?" He breathed out. "Haku? He's the one who taught me—"
"Who what…?" Toru frowned.
Kage shook his head, looking very conflicted. "No… it's nothing."
Toru shrugged. Kage was still frowning. "Okay, what is it…?" Toru asked.
"Who are these Uzumaki…?" He asked with tentative hope.
"Oh, them. Some people Naruto killed."
"His own clan…?" Naruto asked, sounding as though someone had knocked the breath out of him.
"Toru forgot to say they were Akatsuki, too." Akemi added. "Forgot, right…?"
"Yes, forgot." Toru nodded sagely. "Any disagreements?"
"…I guess not." Kage admitted, very slowly.
Sasuke was staring. "Where do I fit in your list, exactly…?"
"You're higher, much higher, of course." Toru nodded sagely.
"…How high?"
"Much higher." Toru repeated, keeping his face straight.
"That's not an answer. Which Tier?"
Toru hesitated. He rolled the scroll up again.
"Toru…" Sasuke scowled. He tried to remember. "Kage here is in… 0, you said."
"That's right." Toru smiled weakly.
"Naruto…"
"Is in Tier 0." Toru said. "Believe me, I tried to find a reason to get him down from there."
"And Hanabi…?" Sasuke asked, slowly frowning.
"Tier 0, too." Toru scowled, as well.
"Sakura…?"
"Tier 0." Toru grunted. Akemi was trying to hide a chuckle.
"…Karin?"
Toru smiled at last. "Tier 1. You see—"
"Ino?"
"Tier 2." Toru's grin grew a bit wider. "Of course, that's not taking in account that most people really don't come out of a battle with her feeling as they did coming in, and the possible psychotic states that—"
"Which Tier am I in, Toru?" Sasuke cut him off.
Toru said nothing. He looked at Kage, who looked away. Chōji just shrugged.
"Toru." Sasuke repeated.
"They put you in Tier 3." Akemi finally said.
"What." Sasuke hissed. "Why?"
"Uh…" Toru tried. "It's a good Tier. Indra's in it." He added helpfully and slipped a "now" under his breath. "And besides, since you likely got better at Mokuton and all that Asura chakra, I'm sure we can bump you up to Tier 2—"
"Which Tier are you in?"
"…Tier 0." Toru winced. "I'm sorry, man — I would have waited for you — They kept putting me in dangerous situations, and I had to bring myself up—"
"Where is Itachi?" Sasuke asked.
"Tier 3 or 4, with Shisui. It's a good Tier, the First Hokage—"
"All of this. Your spot in the Tiers." Sasuke repeated. "With or without this artificial Jūbi bullshit you fucks pulled last time…?"
Toru smiled blandly. "…We don't really use it actively, we prefer the more passive benefits. You can't turn such a thing off completely—"
"That's not an answer."
"I see her." Ino said evenly.
"Yes." Karin nodded, rubbing her back. It was obvious who she was talking about. "You said that before. Two times."
"I see what she's playing at, I mean." Ino shook her head.
"What?" Sakura snorted. "Pretending she's fine with the situation as it is, but biding her time in secret…? No wonder you'd notice."
Ino snapped. "If I wanted your opinion on this matter, I would just pretend to have no empathy at all and… go from there. Whatever."
"Whoa." Sakura laughed. "That's just being harsh for the sake of it. Everybody knows Hanabi's the heartless one."
"She's just pretending." Karin shrugged.
"Whatever." Sakura rolled her eyes. "You guys want something to eat? I'll cook—"
Hanabi woke up with a gasp.
"Please let Yugito do it." Ino almost begged.
"Goddamn." Sakura grunted. "You guys really have it out for me this morning, huh."
"I'll do it." Hanabi offered blearily, rolling out of bed with none of her usual grace. "My treat — I insist."
Sakura watched her go, pursing her lips.
Yoisen was likely laughing a bit too hard at his jokes.
She was sure Naruto noticed it, of course, but well… she really wasn't pretending. It had been too long. Also, he didn't seem to mind. He likely wasn't blind as to what she thought, of course, but as long as he didn't say anything overtly, she was in the green.
Also, that would just mean she would have to bide her time for a century or so.
It was pretty amusing to watch the way people reacted to him in Umi. Yoisen was somewhat tall, but he was still towering over her. People seemed to either jump out of his way to let them (mostly him) pass… or greet him cheerily. There didn't really seem to be an in-between. In any case, both of them got a few stares, and Yoisen didn't miss a few people who were simply checking him out.
Maybe it was the cheekbones you could cut glass on, she thought. Maybe it was the jaw that would give old-world sculptors a field day… the way his mouth curled up into this lopsided smile. Or perhaps the people were afraid of his next mental breakdown, it was hard to say.
Whatever that was, they were sitting in a cozy corner cafe, and he was smiling at her.
"…What is this sorcery?" She muttered, staring at the thing that had been set on the table, along with her cup of tea.
"Huh?" Naruto blinked.
"What is this thing?" She asked, twisting it between her fingers and trying to make sense of it.
"…It's a straw." Naruto said. "You use it to drink this particular sort of tea."
"Ah. I see." She muttered and slipped it in her cup.
He raised an eyebrow, trying not to smile. "…Without the wrapping surrounding it."
Yoisen frowned. 'Well, that's a good start.' She thought.
"You look tired." She said. 'What am I even saying…?'
His mouth lost that battle and a quiet laugh came out. "We didn't sleep much last night."
Yoisen blinked and swallowed her tea the wrong way. Also, she really didn't have any question about this particular topic.
Naruto stared at her.
"Hmm." He said, sounding amused.
"Hmm." She repeated.
He smiled. Yoisen smiled, too.
"We should have won." He said, leaning back. "Yesterday's contest, I mean."
She tried to fight off another smile. "…Truly? With your monstrous palace looking down on regular people…?"
"Yes." He just said, nodding wisely.
"There is a reason almost no one builds palaces like this anymore." Yoisen shook her head, feeling herself relax. "If it is a history lesson you need, I am willing to fill the gaps in between your… absences."
"Guess I'll take the opportunity, then." He nodded wisely. "The last teacher I had was Orochimaru, so it's bound to be more pleasant, in any case."
"Truly…?"
"His sense of humor is fucked." Naruto shook his head. "Can you believe he actually made a teacher/student role play joke, once…?" He shivered.
This time, she felt as though she swallowed her tongue.
"Yeah, exactly." Naruto nodded. "It was bad. And then I kept thinking he would actually show up in uniform, so these were some long months."
She laughed. There was a pause.
"…I could do it, I suppose—" Yoisen began tentatively.
Naruto laughed. "Oh come on. Don't joke about it too."
In their home, most of the people were awake.
Jinsuke was still away, somewhere… and Hinata was making sure the teenagers didn't accidentally set Toru and Akemi's house, generously lent for the night, on fire.
Sasuke stared at Hanabi's back. "…I didn't even know you knew how to cook." He said.
She chortled. "Did I ever need to cook for you…?"
"…Guess not. Still, though."
Hanabi shrugged. "I'm Uzumaki."
She left it at that, and Sasuke wondered why someone who was Hinata's sister could make so little sense. And how she could be in Tier 0. Toru picked up on it.
"Hanabi is a good cook." He said, trying to stay on a safe topic.
"Did I ask for your opinion, Toru?" The good cook asked politely. "Keep it up and I'll throw some nattō over your plate."
"No, please. I hate it."
"Everyone does." She nodded sagely. "So hush."
Sakura was grumbling something about being a decent cook, too. Sasuke wondered what she was rambling about. And how she could be in Tier 0. Toru picked up on it, too.
"Oh, shit!" He said, pointing out at the window. "Look!"
"I'm not falling for it, Toru." Sasuke rolled his eyes.
"You should." Ino said dryly, standing up and picking a light blouse she threw over herself. "There's a forest fire. Near Toru's house — you should be worried too, that's where you normally sleep when you're around."
Karin stared at Sakura, but didn't say anything.
Neither did Sakura, as she found herself something to read.
…
"I'm so sorry." Hinata apologized again.
Toru stared at his mostly burnt garden.
"…Eh. Don't be." He said, scratching his hair. "Everybody has bad dreams, sometimes. Right, Sarada?"
Sarada didn't meet his eyes. "…I'm sorry."
"It's fine, it's fine." Toru waved off. "At least you didn't do something drastic because of the nightmares, like killing your clan or—"
Akemi kicked his shin. Then she held onto a sigh. These were some nice plants.
"…Right." Toru winced. "In any case, not everything burned."
The house was mostly intact. And so were a few of the plants, the ones Sasuke had gifted to his cousin.
"I made them fireproof." Sasuke nodded proudly.
"Good call." Toru said ruefully.
Hinata was consoling Boruto.
"It's only hair." She said, caressing his head. "It will grow back."
She had trimmed the burnt edges of it off.
"A shorter style suits you well." Mitsuki said with a smile. "Father said that when it comes to picking a fresh haircut, face shape is the most important thing. I think this one works well for your face."
"Not the moment, Mitsuki." Boruto grunted. "I look like my fricking dad."
"…I'm sorry, Boruto." Sarada muttered.
"It's fine." He tried to shrug.
"It looks good." Hinata assured.
Karin finished putting the last of the fires out.
"So can we finally go and eat something…?" She asked. "I'm starving. Last night—"
"Let us go eat." Hinata cut her off before she could finish that particular sentence.
Sasuke thought she seemed to be used to people listening to her without question. Well, she was polite about it, in any case. Unlike Naruto.
"Also, you should really go to therapy." Ino said to Sarada. "You can only imagine the number of times Sakura thrashed in her sleep, in the beginning."
"…Guess I should go, then." She muttered.
"And you should probably stop going on 'adventures' with her."
…
"Where is Uncle?" Boruto asked through mouthfuls of miso soup.
"Empty your mouth, Boruto." Hinata frowned.
"Dad never does and you never say anything."
"He is a lost cause." Hinata admitted.
Kage continued to slurp away happily.
"How is it, Horuto?" Hanabi asked. "I would assume like my counterpart's cooking, but better in every way."
"…I prefer my auntie's cooking. And she calls me by my name, too." Boruto grumbled. Hinata said something about not saying these things out loud.
"I appreciate your honesty." Hanabi nodded. "Can't say much about your lack of taste buds, though."
"…Okay." Boruto muttered. "Where is Uncle?"
"Probably in the same place as Jinsuke?" Hanabi tried. "Are they having their fight to the death already?"
Hinata paused.
"She's joking." Karin explained.
Hinata let out a relieved breath. Sakura just made a dubious face.
"Naruto's busy taking care of the ghoul." Ino said. Karin elbowed her.
"Hidan again…?" Kage asked. "You should really put this guy out of his misery—"
"No." Ino cut him off. "He's not here, anyway."
"No to which…?" Kage hesitated. She didn't elaborate.
Karin did. "Naruto's showing his friend around."
Toru blinked, as though he were remembering something. Then he glanced to his left. To his right. "…Where's Gama?" He asked.
Nacchan stiffened.
"He didn't come with us at all. Try to follow a bit." Hanabi rolled her eyes.
"But that means—" Nacchan began.
"Don't worry." She rolled her eyes again. "He's likely too scared of us to do anything really stupid."
…
The first thing Gama did once the world-hoppers were gone was to sell their furniture. It seemed as though they had weaved some interesting properties in the items, but it wasn't something that civilians would notice, likely.
Gama considered himself a pragmatist who saw an opportunity when it came. Whether that was on the battlefield, on a mission, or selling expensive looking furniture in order to feed his little gacha problem.
Also, he was somewhat worried about actually being trapped in here until they decided to get him out.
…
"Uh huh." Nacchan snapped. "I'm pretty sure that's what you thought last time, too."
Hanabi shrugged. "And did anything happen?"
Nacchan's face was livid. Hanabi rolled her eyes. "Yeah, okay. He slept with the girl you like. That sucks… So?" She asked.
Ino closed her eyes.
"Language." Hinata said, scowling.
Hanabi blinked. "Did I say fuck? If so, I'm sorry. I meant to say that Gama had sex—"
"Please." Hinata said flatly.
"Oh, come on, I'm sure Horuto knows about these matters already." Hanabi shrugged.
Hinata frowned. "How would he…?"
"I know about reproduction, too." Mitsuki smiled. "Both for humans, and for the creation of synthetic ones."
He got a few strange looks.
"Uncle told me." Boruto simply said.
Hinata whirled upon Kage. The man winced. "I told you he would be—" She began lecturing him.
Nacchan was still scowling, but well… the Gama affair wasn't exactly news to him, and he had had plenty of time to ruminate on it.
"In any case, he knows to stay on the down-low." Ino said. "I made sure of it."
"Good." Karin nodded.
"Chakra is not the only way we can stir shit." Sakura shrugged.
"Oh please." Akemi snorted. "You guys wouldn't last a day without chakra."
Toru scoffed. Kage frowned. "Why do I get lumped in with them?"
"Sorry, I didn't mean you." Akemi amended herself. "You're okay."
Kage just nodded wisely. He had known so.
Toru seemed to take it personally. But then again, he did so pretty often, so perhaps it meant nothing at all.
…
Jinsuke continued to hunt for aliens, in this world as well.
"Are you all right, Yoisen…?" Naruto asked, giving her a concerned look. Then he stared at the bottom of his cup, frowning. "You look pretty pale. Did someone from Umi finally try to poison me…?"
She looked pale. And not so cheerful anymore. "Naruto." She said slowly. "You never told me that you spoke with them. And in another world, too…?"
"It didn't really fit the tone of most of our letters." Naruto said, shrugging. She gave him a worried glance.
"Was it the first time…?" She tried.
He tilted his head. "Uh, no. Not exactly."
"Why didn't you say anything…?" She asked abruptly.
"I told the others about it." He gestured flippantly. "It's not the strangest sort of thing we saw."
She let out a long breath. "You are joking, then…?" She brought a hand to her chest. "Please do not do so about these things."
The amusement bled out of Naruto's face, and he frowned. "I am not joking, Yoisen."
Just like that, she paled again.
"…Are you really fine?" He asked dubiously.
She shook her head and covered her eyes with her hands. "We may have a problem."
He noticed that she included herself in it, which was… a pleasant surprise.
"…Ah." He said slowly. "That bad, then."
Yoisen made a choked sound that was probably supposed to be a laugh. She looked up at the cafe's ceiling.
"You really have a way of getting trouble to follow you everywhere." She said. "Even across worlds."
"…What are we dealing with, then…?"
"There are not so many beings that follow you through the cracks." She said. "And even less that can materialize there, even weakened as this one seemed to be. I think you know the answer."
"Oh, gods, then. That's all?" Naruto asked, relaxing.
"Don't you — That's not a good thing!" Yoisen said, voice rising. "There's a reason they don't bother coming down to the physical plane, with all the limitations that come with it. They simply have no interest in doing so. The fact that it changed is bad."
"I thought they liked my eyes." Naruto said, trying to soothe her. It didn't work.
Yoisen let out a disbelieving breath.
"I don't think it's about the eyes themselves, although this might be part of it."
"What's so terrible about it…?" He asked, more seriously. "If they don't come here directly, and can't affect the world directly otherwise… I'm fine with their attempts at… What? manipulating me…? Currying favor?"
Because that meant everyone else was safe.
If they came down… well that was another thing to deal with.
She didn't say anything. Which meant she didn't know what some of these kami were planning.
"Now… I'm sure they were not too fond of the whole Jūbi-building." Naruto said, smiling sharply. "Funny, considering this is very much… grounded in the physical plane."
She didn't find it particularly funny. Her eyes went to his arms.
"What is it that you've done to your brands?" She said, pointing at his bare forearms, where the marks, which had been bright with color once, now stood faded.
"Oh, that?" He asked, raising his left arm. "Nothing at all." He said, before laughing when he saw her expression. "They're faded, yes. And they still look as though they're part of my skin, but that's it. I can't feel anything coming from them."
Yoisen mulled it over.
"Does that mean I've been rejected by the gods?" He asked, chuckling, as though there was anything funny about it. Sakura was going to have a field day with that one.
"Oh Naruto." She said softly. "That could mean many things. And yes, you could see it as that."
"I kinda figured the kami would be whimsical dicks, in any case." Naruto said.
"…"
"I don't feel any different." Naruto added.
"No…? In any way?"
"Should I have…?" Naruto shrugged and looked at her with no expression at all. "Gods or not. What's mine is mine."
He meant it, and there was no doubt in his voice. Yoisen sat very still.
He leaned back, giving her a wry smile again. "So if they meant to take back anything from me, I'm afraid they didn't quite manage."
Yoisen sagged miserably in her chair.
"That's not good. Do you know what this means…?"
"That's I'm strong enough to push back…?" He gave her a flat smile. "Or that they'll be coming for me, at some point…?"
She stared at him.
There was no fire in his eyes, no anger and no fear either. His face was calm, without a trace of bitterness.
"They will." She just said.
"For me specifically, then…?" He asked.
"For you." She confirmed.
"I do remember that they consider Earth as something of a… playground." He said, after mulling over the last word. Something they wouldn't outright destroy. Naruto shrugged. "Let them come, then. Not much I can do about that, now."
She looked up at him with hollow eyes.
"Are you at risk?" He asked.
"…Not as of now." She said. "I believe. If it's about your acquisition of power… No. I'd say no."
"Good." Naruto nodded. He gave her a mirthless smile. "But the others might be, then."
Yoisen hesitated. "Perhaps."
"They can follow me, it seems. But they also seem to require me to willingly meet them. Maybe they can't do more. No matter what, if they decide to move…" He said softly. "It could be tomorrow, it could be in decades."
"…It could be." She admitted. She pushed her hair out of her face. "I will tell you all I know about them."
"Thank you."
They sat in silence for a while. He sipped his tea tranquilly.
"Naruto…" She tried. She didn't want to beg, but she would if she had to.
"All of this just means we'd better worry about living." Naruto gave her a wry smile.
She knew her eyes turned desperate, pleading, which took him by surprise. "It's not something to scoff at." She said. "This could be catastrophic."
"For you" went unsaid.
Naruto looked at her for a moment, then he smiled.
"Ah." He said, and he did appreciate the concern. "But I assure you, I'm going to take this very seriously."
…
Yoisen's face still looked waxy.
"What of it…?" Naruto asked placidly. "If it is as inevitable as you say it is, then there's nothing I can do, short of submitting to them."
And they both knew he wouldn't.
"Still…" She said. "How can I explain this…? There is nothing in our world that is more dangerous than the kami."
"There's no need to remind me." He said, a small thing pulling at his lips. "But who knows, perhaps there are worse things out there… if we go far enough."
There was silence.
"…Perhaps." She admitted.
Still, it was pretty bad news.
Izanagi and Izanami emerged. They went into the formless world, dominated by the chaotic void that was Mikaboshi. There, they were said to have created living beings, and supposedly gave birth to other kami. Amaterasu, Tsukiyomi-no-Mikoto, Susanoo-no-Mikoto, among them.
"I do remember the legends." Naruto nodded. "Hard to prove or disprove, really."
"…Indeed. In any case, I do not believe, even now, that the nature of a kami can be fully explained in words."
"That's what they'd say." Naruto said wryly. "I would too, of course."
Yoisen pursed her lips, and he noticed.
"Well? What would you have me do…?" He asked. "Should I weep and tear my hair…? Curse my fate…?"
She knew the words well, and didn't particularly care for the reminder.
"…And you call me stubborn." She shook her head.
"Where do you think I learned from…?" He smiled.
Yoisen threw her head in her palms and in spite of herself, she laughed.
"In that case." She said. "The least you can do is to let me join your ranks."
She held her hand out to him.
Naruto closed his eyes.
"After all this…" He said, feeling more unsure than she seemed to be. "Are you sure?"
Yoisen smiled warmly.
"Yes." She said earnestly. "Circumstances have changed."
Naruto sat there, making no move, unblinking eyes looking hesitant. Yoisen didn't seem to take it personally; she simply waited.
"…I suppose they have." He said slowly. "Do remember you can break it off at any time—"
"I know."
Naruto didn't say anything for a while.
"Well? We can do it now… or in the time it takes for you to be fine with it." She said, with what she probably meant to be a confident smile. "I can be as stubborn as I have to be."
Naruto chuckled.
"I never noticed."
He took her hand.
"Which part of bring no more women into the bond didn't you get? The core concept?!" Ino hissed. "And her, too…?"
The others were very carefully not stepping in. Sakura raised her book until it was covering her eyes.
Naruto scratched his chin. "That was not the full quote." Ino almost bared her teeth. Naruto continued. "You also said… 'unless it's for that immortality thing — got it…?'"
"Are you sure that's what this is about?" She glared at him.
"Yup." Naruto nodded. "It's the same thing as with Sasuke. Or Toru. What else?"
Ino could believe him—
'What else could it be…?' Yoisen's eyes seemed to say. To her, at least.
Ino's nostrils flared. She felt like slugging her, really.
"…You're immortal, right?" Ino asked tightly.
"I suppose so, now." Yoisen shrugged.
There was a hint of challenge in her eyes.
"Spar with me."
"My pleasure."
…
"Why don't you stop them?!" Toru hissed. "It's getting out of hand."
Naruto pursed his lips, watching his wife and his friend do their best to get the other to submit. "Why should I…? They wanted this."
'Also, it's kinda hot.' He thought.