Meeting of the Multiversal Council
October 2nd, Year Zero of the Unification
Projection Set In Imperial Palace's Heaven Room
Safe, R-Encrypted Copy
PRESENT
[…]
Arrivals:
Hebi, from World #323 (Shizune's Note to K,N: A world where an Orochimaru adopted an Uzumaki Naruko, named Hebi. Surprisingly polite.)
Jiraiya, from World #327 (Shizune's Note to K,N: A world where the man in question adopted an Uzumaki Naruto, named Gama. In spite of what Tsunade-sama used to say, no comments were made on any woman's physical appearance yet.)
Namekuji, from World #987 (Shizune's Note to K,N: A world where a Senju Tsunade raised an Uzumaki Naruto. There's a kindness to him, but his shoulders carry the weight of the world; seemingly reliant only on himself.)
[…]
Hebi (#323): It is no wonder he has not been invited here. I see no point in you defending him. He barely has any redeeming qualities.
Jiraiya (#327): Is it not a father's prerogative to care about their son?
Hebi (#323): How quaint of you to suddenly care. I thought neither of the Legendary Three[…].
Jiraiya (#327): […] Are you alright? You seemed as though you wanted to say something.
Hebi (#323): Not to you.
Orochimaru (#323): Now is not the time, daughter. Do go on, young one.
Namekuji (#987): I go by the name Namekuji. It's a pleasure to meet you.
Hebi (#323): Is it your name, truly?
Namekuji (#987): It is the one Hanabi-sama bestowed upon me.
Hebi (#323): […] Figures.
Jiraiya (#327): And who raised you, again?
Namekuji (#987): My mother, Tsunade. She is [unable to join], unfortunately.
Orochimaru (#323): I see.
On the Nature of Kami
Naruto, who by now harbored a deep resentment for a few specific kami, formulated a few tentative plans that he would build upon once they obtained more information.
There were only a few people in the confidence, when it came to his true intentions. More than five, less than twenty.
The rest would assume the contingencies to be the way.
The signs were already on the horizon. In the coming months, there would be a mysterious increase in weather shifts and other unexplained phenomena.
Naruto noticed the feeling, but would only understand the reason behind it when Ino reported a few things to him, later on.
People's personalities were shifting, almost inexplicably.
It seeped into the hearts of children, slid into the thoughts of elders, turned the brave timid and the meek bold.
Ever so slowly.
Naruto could feel a presence he knew well in the air, rising ever so slightly. Nothing that would upset the presumed truce the kami had in between them, and nothing that indicated a future physical manifestation, but it was there.
He could feel it.
After all, he bore its symbol on his upper back, along his spine.
The Exams
World #07 — The Island of Solitude — Chūnin Exams
The exams did not occur on the day Naruto had been told they would.
He didn't manage to attend, anyway.
But he would have sent a clone over, which was pretty much the same thing, had he not been too lost in his scheming.
Surprisingly enough, Sakura was there, and she decided not to disturb the others, who were neck deep in work at the time it happened.
(Kage, under the belief that Sakura had been sent there as a diplomat, had a short moment of intense worry.)
"—I can't believe he was disguised as his own headband the whole time!" Nacchan said in amazement, when Nara Akari defeated her opponent in the finals.
"It's a good trick." Sakura nodded.
(She tried not to look too stern, but there were plenty of things on her mind. How Naruto managed to keep appearances up, considering what he was dealing with, was something she found truly baffling. But she could at least try.)
(She could play the infuriating fool quite well, after all. And if doing so could let others believe they had the situation under control, well so be it. )
It was a pretty big event, and the Five Kage, who Nacchan knew to be this world's biggest wigs, were attending.
One was a stern figure with fiery red hair, his eyes piercing, betraying no emotion. One was a woman with short, sleek black hair, her presence commanding. A muscular, dark-skinned man whose aura radiated strength. Kage was sitting among them, his boisterous — and unworried, especially when compared to yesterday — laughter echoing across the arena.
There was the Mizukage too, a blue-haired man whose subdued demeanor made him almost unnoticeable, sitting at the table.
To the contestants, he had announced that the finals would be one-on-one contests in a tournament format.
To the audience, the Mizukage added something, his awkward wink only adding to the suspense.
In spite of promising the contestants they wouldn't be recorded, the entire stadium was, in fact, a witness to their trials.
The participants were under the impression that their first fights would merely be the qualifier rounds, and only the victors would advance to the true final exam.
Little did they know that thousands of spectators were eagerly watching the spectacle.
Nacchan recalled the man saying something about wanting to make the conditions as close to real-world conditions as it got, in order to see how the future generation of shinobi worked when they thought no one was looking.
And something about ninja missions being about adaptability, moving goalposts and incomplete intel.
Nacchan believed it was closer to a psychological experiment, frankly. Something about seeing how the contestants behaved, when the lights were off.
And the Mizukage had then concluded, quite awkwardly — the winks really didn't help — that there was a last surprise. A little tribute to Kiri's history.
Nacchan wasn't entirely sure why several people were hissing, frankly.
…
Boruto looked ahead.
He didn't need the Byakugan's — still confusing — sharp insight to see the shuriken that erupted from the cloud of smoke ahead of him.
Their whistling was enough. And from the amount of displaced smoke that he did see, there were five of them. No kunai.
Boruto steeled himself. That was too easy of an attack, too straightforward. He had trained with his uncles for far too long to fall for such a simple ruse.
His Iwa opponent had likely created a rock clone to throw the weapons, using the cloud of smoke's cover to dive underground, in true Iwa fashion.
'Classic.' He thought.
Boruto flew through hand seals, just as he dashed to the side, slower than he could really go.
'Lightning Release: Blinding Flash!' He thought, not bothering to voice it out loud.
It was a blinding jutsu, and it would simply be foolish.
He released it the moment the smoke cloud faded, blinding the rock clone.
Then he jumped into the air, where he created a Lightning Clone quickly. Earth ninja used echolocation to move underground: it was rare for a genin or a chūnin to be able to extend the range above ground level.
The clone fell back to the floor, and there was a high chance that Boruto's opponent would not notice the maneuver at all, believing the clone to be him.
The real Boruto hung from the ceiling. He dashed along its length, this time not bothering to hide his full speed, until he was in the Iwa genin's blind spot.
He waited there.
The other ninja fought with his Lightning Clone. His movements were sluggish, which was befitting of an Earth Clone — he didn't even manage to dispel Boruto's clone.
Boruto watched the display, taken aback.
This guy was really overdoing it. There was simply no need to let things drag on this much, truly. But well, if he wanted to waste their time, more power to him.
Boruto weaved through hand seals, preparing himself to activate his Byakugan, using the easier seal sequence.
He closed his eyes—
Boruto's clone's Electric Palm slammed into the Earth Clone's gut, a textbook Gentle Fist strike.
Boruto nodded, and…
Boruto blinked.
There was no one underground, his Byakugan confirmed it.
The genin Boruto had thought to be an Earth Clone let out a terrible scream and fell to his knees, paralyzed.
"Winner: Uzumaki Boruto!"
Boruto stared at his defeated opponent, bemused.
…
"Sharingan." Sarada called.
The Kumo ninja grinned darkly. "I know about your hypnosis abilities." He said, mockingly. "You won't get me with these."
Sarada palmed three kunai silently.
She began to run. The first kunai, she threw at him without breaking pace.
The Kumo ninja ran away from it, throwing some barbs — insults, not the ninja tool, although some believed both were — at the same time.
The hidden explosive tag it carried — wrapped around the leather handle, and another leather strap wrapped around that — detonated, forcing him to throw himself to the floor.
The Kumo ninja quickly muttered a Dispel. The second kunai that flew, courtesy of the triggered genjutsu bound to the first weapon, faded to nothing.
Sarada pretended to throw the second kunai then.
The Kumo ninja flinched, and dashed to the right.
Sarada had seen it with her Sharingan, of course. She threw the second kunai the way he would go with his next move.
The Kumo ninja barely managed to dodge it.
He didn't manage to dodge the one hidden in its shadow, which buried itself in his leg. Nor the shuriken hidden in the shadow kunai's shadow, which curved upward and slammed into his eye.
The Kumo ninja froze.
Then he wailed in pain.
"It's not too deep." Sarada said. "You won't lose your eye if you forfeit now."
"I give — I give!" He hastily conceded.
Truth be told, Sarada had no idea if his eye was fine or not. But someone could just fix him, likely. Or she'd ask Sakura.
The proctor announced the winner. "…Uchiha Sarada wins the match!"
…
Mitsuki's snakes ate his Iwa opponent before anyone could stop him.
…
Team Seven passed the "preliminary" phase, one of several teams.
They were instructed to make their way toward the arena.
Someone stopped them in the corridor.
Mitsuki confirmed it to be one of the examiners.
"Welcome to the final phase."
Team Seven stared, waiting for the instructions.
"A full team, then…? Nice." The examiner said, with an easy smile. "There are several left, but most only have two members left in the race."
Team Seven stared.
"Does that change things?" Sarada asked, uncaring.
"Not that much, no." The examiner shook his head.
Silence fell.
"What's the last phase going to be?" Mitsuki asked, equally unconcerned.
"How impatient." The examiner said, smiling. He held out three tags to them. "The task is simple."
He waited for Team Seven to take them.
Boruto frowned when he glanced at them. "But…"
"That's part of the exam." The man said, shrugging. "You can take them or fail here."
After a moment's thought, the three took them.
The paralyzing tags activated right away.
'I just knew it!' Boruto thought, trying to wrench control of his chakra again.
"Your next task…" The examiner said, with dark promise. "Is to die."
Sarada's thoughts echoed Boruto's own.
'What?!'
The examiner laughed, low and mocking.
"Well, that's what I was told. But I'm in a generous mood. And… I like Konoha ninja. Foolish, bleeding hearts that they are." He said. Then, after a moment's deliberation: "Only two of you will need to die — I'll let the third one go. You decide who wants to get ahead the most among yourselves."
The bindings slipped, if only a little bit. Enough for them to nod or to speak, should they choose to.
"Oh, and… welcome to the Bloody Mist." The examiner laughed. "Who's feeling like killing his friends today?"
Fixing Things
World #626 — Warring Clans Era — A few days later
"There you were." A voice called out.
Tsunade, who was as paranoid as any good shinobi had to become, had learned to erect powerful defenses around any place she slept in. This was even more true now that she had the Rinnegan.
So when two people appeared through them, as though they hadn't been there… Understandably, she was pretty displeased.
Some people needed to make full sentences to convey emotion, meaning.
Today, Tsunade managed to skip several steps and completed the process with a single word.
"YOU!"
Her snarl was a terrible thing, her voice even more powerful, and her chakra erupted like the tempest—
"Hello, Tsunade." Sakura greeted her easily. "Are you ready to go?"
There was only silence, and Tsunade's disbelieving eyes.
"I'm sorry I forgot you here, by the way."
A nearby window exploded.
"That's it!"
"Come on." Sakura grunted. "I apologized."
"You call this a fucking apology?!" Tsunade snarled. Lightning burned within her, its comforting glow was an angry thing; one that only needed a target.
"Well…" Sakura frowned. "Yeah. That's the definition."
Tsunade's legs tensed. Or rather, her entire body tensed, as she got ready to jump.
Unbidden, Sakura recalled the therapist's latest sermon. And apparently, world-endangering threats were not enough for Ino to not make her go.
'Acknowledging mistakes first… Empathy and understanding…Rebuilding trust…? Ah, yes. That was it.' She nodded to herself.
Sakura bowed her head lightly.
"I'm so sorry, Haruno… Senju Tsunade." She began. "I genuinely did not mean to leave you behind. I understand that my actions must have made you feel hurt and excluded, and I can't even begin to express how sorry I am for that. I promise to be more attentive and considerate in the future—"
Tsunade blurred forward. Sakura sighed.
"Your attacks will go through." The other woman — one with white hair — said, sounding entirely disinterested.
Tsunade went through entirely.
She then glared at the white-haired woman. "And who might you be?"
"She's an ally." Sakura nodded. "She came with me—"
"Because Naruto was likely afraid she would leave you somewhere else and deny her involvement in the matter." The other said.
"Oh, you!" Sakura laughed and punched her shoulder. "Keep teasing me, number six and I—"
"Naruto…? Number six…?" Tsunade scowled. "What the hell is happening out there?"
"Number six because—" Sakura began and became the receiver of a very flat look. "—That's her ninja registration number." She finished with a chuckle.
Yoisen cracked a small smile. "…We did not have those, back then."
"I'm surprised you even had jokes." Sakura laughed.
"Where is this Naruto?" Tsunade asked, scowling. "And more importantly… Where — is — Sarada?! If you managed to lose her after all the—"
Sakura paused.
"Sarada…?"
"If you forgot about her too—"
"No. She's… fine." Sakura waved off, with less bravado. "I left her in a safe place."
"A safe place?!" Tsunade spat. "You?!"
"Of course." Sakura frowned. "All four of the children wanted to see magic, so I left them in a real magic castle…"
'…Because of what she did in the exams.' Sakura thought.
Tsunade paused, only to scowl. But perhaps magic castles weren't so bad, considering how bad things could be out there—
"You can come with us. You are free to remain here, of course." The white-haired woman said. "Or to go to your home." She paused. "But trouble is brewing, something that might involve your world as well, in the future."
Tsunade took a long breath.
"If you decide to stay, we might come back to pick you up later, along with a few other people — if they ever learn to play nice." Sakura said. "You're a good medic, right? We could use your help for some projects — we'll teach you a few things in return… I suppose."
"And leave the people from here in this mess?" Tsunade slammed her fist against a wall.
It shattered.
"Ah." Sakura sighed, too. "Guess I brought this one upon myself."
"That… you did." Tsunade spat.
"How much do you trust your not-grandfather?" Sakura asked abruptly.
"…What?"
"Did I stutter?"
"…With the world."
There was a quiet pause in the conversation.
"Good." Sakura smiled slightly. She would assume the other woman had decent judgment, because there was not that much time to waste. "Let us talk for a sec, Yoisen." She said, walking away from Tsunade.
Yoisen saw the glint in her eyes. "…Sakura, I do not believe that this is our best option."
"I'll back you up against Ino when the time comes… if you help with this, number six."
Yoisen sighed.
"…Very well, then." She nodded. "I suppose that is one way to deal with the issue."
"I'm sure that's the reason." Sakura said, politely.
…
Hashirama awoke in an endless lake of pure water.
"…What?" He muttered. "Am I… dreaming?"
It felt all too real, though. He could feel his chakra, too. A few subsequent Genjutsu releases later, and it was all too likely that this was real.
Or someone had gotten him in a very advanced Sharingan illusion, but if he could manage Madara's illusions, Hashirama figured he was probably able to manage most's.
There was a man floating over the water, a few meters away from him.
Something within Hashirama recognized him. He felt the powerful chakra, and its strange familiarity. It felt like home.
"Lo and behold, thou art finally roused from thy slumber, Hashirama." The man's deep voice rumbled.
A long white coat, ornate with magatama. Purple, ringed eyes, and a third red one upon his forehead. …Horns? And flying orbs of pure black, hovering around him.
Hashirama swallowed thickly.
The man chuckled, a loud, echoing sound that made Hashirama feel like a child.
"Have I…?"
"Be not alarmed, dear offspring. Thou art neither in the midst of a fanciful dream, nor hast thou perished."
Hashirama had seen the same eyes before.
That woman.
"Thou dost recognise me, dost thou not...?"
Hashirama did not dare to answer.
"Be not afraid, for I am not the embodiment of Death." The man laughed. "I have been known by myriad appellations, one of which is... Savior. Yet, the appellation bestowed upon me at birth is Ōtsutsuki Hagoromo."
Hashirama knew.
Instinctively, he dropped to a knee, exposing his neck.
"I…" What could he even say?
That was a man who was closer to a legend.
"I have ventured hither to visit thee, concealed beneath the guise of yonder gentlewoman, endowed with eyes akin to mine own."
And now Hashirama understood much more. No wonder that woman had seemed to come out of nowhere.
She had.
But still, if this was all the Sage's doing… Hashirama frowned.
"Honored Sage, what of Madara's father—"
The Sage's voice, powerful and all-reaching, trampled over his own.
"Forsooth, I have harbored the conviction that a person capable of unifying the world would emerge."
Hashirama didn't feel truly offended about being cut off. This was a holy man. Perhaps he had had his unfathomable reasons, perhaps it had only been a rumor after all.
It had been a test of some sorts, then…?
"Thou, Hashirama, art that very individual."
Hashirama's breath hitched.
"Honored Sage, I am not worthy—"
The Sage spoke over him again.
"Alas, time is of the essence, and it is rapidly slipping through our fingers. With every ounce of my strength, I have traversed the dimensions of time and space to make contact with thee."
"There is no way I can truly—"
"Repose thyself. Upon awakening, thou shalt possess eyes akin to mine own. With these, thou art tasked to usher in an enduring peace."
"But, Honored Sage—"
"Seek out the most significant expressions a gentleman may uncover."
"I don't get it—"
"Bring together the various factions into harmonious unity."
The Sage waved his mystical hand and the world seemed to coalesce into Hashirama's mind.
Tomorrow, he would wake up with changed eyes.
…
"That's a job well done. Thanks for feeding me the lines." Sakura nodded. "I was very tempted to go off-script."
"…I thought you were a writer." Yoisen said flatly, unsure how she felt about the entire subterfuge. Helping one of Naruto's lovers impersonate the Savior, really…?
Sakura shrugged. "Amateur one, yeah. But you're more familiar with the man than I am. And also with outdated speech patterns."
Yoisen squinted her eyes.
"I meant it in the best possible way." Sakura laughed.
"Is there one…?"
Sakura laughed and slapped her back. Then did so again once Yoisen began glaring at her.
They hadn't brought Tsunade with them, for obvious reasons. Sakura had just told her that they would fix things, and left it at that.
Now they just had to pick her up and leave.
On the Nature of Kami
World #01
In the distant city of Taodo, nestled in the far reaches of the East, a young boy dreamed of thunder and storms over the blue ocean.
Far out, a grand temple was being built, and intricate sculptures of delicate butterflies adorned its sacred walls.
The boy was not the first to dream, nor was the temple the first of its kind.
Neither of them would be the last.
Sisters
Umigakure
Hanabi ignored the looks on her sisters' faces.
The room shook as she did so, not because she was ignoring them.
The world disappeared around her.
Hanabi followed the strange rifts. As always, it felt like shards of a mirror, reflecting into eternity.
In between the shards, she was reminded of her own mortality. Kinda.
'Hmm… not here, either.' She heard herself think.
Hanabi peered through the cracks.
It was as intoxicating as it was disconcerting, and it didn't get much easier with time. But she was the only one who could. She took note of several more worlds of… godly interest.
The two toddlers who were staring at her, eyes likely reflecting her glory, and their looks didn't matter. Kage's daughter was here too, and her name… Hanabi had forgotten once more.
…Himaru?
Hanabi's sister and her alternate self were speaking quite easily, and perhaps they were not entirely aware of the scale of the threat they faced. Or perhaps they had entire faith in their partners' ability.
"—Now of course, I would never complain about my husband." Older-Hinata said, in the background.
"Of course not." Hinata nodded in approval, with the quiet dignity that any Hyūga, past or present, should possess.
The oldest of the two Hinata briefly wondered how the other could be… such a pleasant woman, when her younger sister was… Uh. Was the way she was. Then she remembered about the branch House and hid a wince.
"Naruto… Well, he can be…" Older-Hinata paused, then leaned forward, speaking in hushed tones.
"Yes…?"
"Stubborn." Older-Hinata said, wincing, as though she had said a terrible thing. "Don't get me wrong, it's this same stubbornness that also made me fall in love with him, and he's a great husband and father—"
"But sometimes he just takes being stubborn too far." Hinata nodded solemnly.
"…You, too?"
"Sometimes." Hinata laughed. "Sasuke can… sometimes insist on pushing himself too hard. I think it's because…" Her eyes flashed white for an instant, as she checked the immediate vicinity. "Because of Naruto."
"Ah. Him." Older-Hinata said, with an expression of distaste. "No wonder. Is that man keeping this place under surveillance…? Of course he would—"
"…I was checking for Sasuke." Hinata admitted. "He doesn't like me talking about it out loud."
"They're rivals in here too, then." Older-Hinata nodded. "Some things never change."
Hinata made a face. "I… No. Maybe 'rivals' is a bit misleading. They have a... complicated history."
Older-Hinata nodded in shared understanding. Rivals, then.
"He… Sasuke passed out from training a few times — after we had our children, I mean." Hinata said. "He's… really not sleeping enough, I think some children started calling him Eyebags."
"Oh no…"
"But between the children and everything…" Hinata sighed. "I suppose I get it, but… I can never get him to rest, he just… pushes forward, quite stubbornly."
They sipped tea quietly.
"My Naruto, too." Older-Hinata said, breaking the silence. "Before he fully understood that he could delegate things, well… Let's just say he struggled with work-life balance. And that made things with Boruto quite tense, at one point."
"I can imagine." Hinata said softly, absentmindedly preventing one of her toddlers from grasping her warm tea cup.
Himawari threw her a very sorry look, because she 'had been given the very important mission of looking over them and she hadn't realized that Jiraiya was crawling away' and Hinata just smiled in answer.
"My Naruto… ah." Older-Hinata continued. "He did forget about our wedding anniversary once, in spite of my reminding him about the occasion multiple times, but…"
"Oh, no…"
"It's all water under the bridge now." Older-Hinata said softly.
"If it's any help, I'm pretty sure Sasuke would, too. If given the chance." Hinata sighed. "And he forgets to discuss things, sometimes. I… sometimes I think he thinks I can actually read his mind."
"Oh…?" Older-Hinata giggled. "What of it…? Can't you, truly…?"
Hinata leaned forward, in conspiratorial tones.
"Of course, of course… but he cannot know." She whispered.
The two women laughed together. Demurely.
Departures
The next day
In spite of everything, or perhaps because of it, Sasuke still glared at Naruto for good measure.
Ino had more or less forced Naruto to take a day off, insisting that between the clones and the Shadows, they would manage. Now, if only she could take her own advice, perhaps Naruto would be more convinced.
The first teams were leaving for other worlds. That was the case for Sasuke, who was leaving with Hanabi.
"It only makes sense." Naruto offered, in cajoling tones. "As one of our weakest numbers, you should stay with one of our strongest, at least for the time being. You wouldn't go diving alone if you were a civilian and it was your first time, right? It's pretty much the same thing, here."
In truth, of all the people leaving, and because of her ability, Hanabi was one of the least "expendable" — if the word even applied, considering Naruto cared about most of the people he was sending out there.
Naruto had considered not sending her at all.
She had just given him a very unimpressed look and reminded him that there was no point in her staying here all the time either.
In any case, they would have to be more cautious than some of the others. They would have to leave at the first signs of trouble.
Sasuke just stared at him, seething.
"…Look, we would have put you with Jinsuke…" Hanabi began. "But he insisted on going with Kage."
"This is like couple's counseling, to them." Naruto nodded. "They have their issues to work through. Just a rough patch, I'm sure."
"Or foreplay." Hanabi smiled, wagging her eyebrows in a way that Sasuke knew his sensei would have been proud of — either of them.
"I don't believe it." Naruto shook his head and Sasuke privately agreed.
"Believe it."
Hanabi kissed Naruto goodbye and Sasuke looked away from the shameful display — a former Hyūga should know better.
Naruto held her close, a hand lightly resting on her back. Her eyes held onto his, and she grinned easily.
"Don't worry about us." She said. "We'll be careful."
The two of them departed, leaving Naruto behind.
His indifferent façade slipped, just for a moment, as he stared at them.
…
Training, on the other hand, was something Naruto did not bother taking a break from.
"The warm-up set is done." Yoisen declared.
Toru was beginning to miss Orochimaru's training. At least he didn't have to deal with these two toeing the line.
"…You're cheating on your form, Toru." Naruto said. "You call this Moon Stance?"
"…You don't have to call me out like that in front of her, you dick."
"I was about to mention it." Yoisen intervened. "But I simply assumed that perhaps a lot had changed, when it came to swordsmanship."
"No, that's just him relying on his Sharingan to steal shit way too much." Naruto stated.
"…Why don't you two get back to flirting or something?" Toru scowled.
"Flirting?" Naruto shook his head. "Hardly."
"Yes…" Yoisen nodded. "Hardly."
Toru scowled at them.
"You should get back to covering the floor with your sweat, Toru." Naruto mocked. "It's not slippery enough."
…
"Did you like the training?" Yoisen asked.
Toru didn't manage to answer. Naruto laughed. Before she could even think about it, Yoisen nearly swatted at his belly playfully. Then she blinked and caught herself.
"It was a good session." Naruto said, once he was done laughing. "Exhausting, but challenging."
"Hmm." She nodded.
"How did I perform?" Naruto asked. "Since you were playing sensei and all." He grinned.
Yoisen pretended to think about it. "Eight out of ten, I suppose." She paused. "Well, you tried, at least. You're a decent student."
Toru stared at her hand, which was still hovering somewhere near Naruto's torso, unimpressed by either of them. Yoisen removed it, and did her best to stare at Toru's soul.
Naruto grinned. "I thought so. I'm decent at this being a student thing, I should do this for a living—"
Toru muttered something particularly rude about a murdered sensei.
…
Less than an hour later, Naruto, Yugito and Yūshirō happened to meet Anko in the city center.
Something about it felt a bit surreal to Naruto, considering the situation. But both of them had clones running things elsewhere.
Or perhaps it was just seeing Anko with a baby in tow that felt strange.
Not that he was well placed to say anything about the matter.
"My, my." Anko said cheerfully. "That baby seems chubbier everytime I see him."
Naruto checked, in spite of himself. "…That's just not true." He declared. "Also, you saw him yesterday."
Anko rolled her eyes. "Look, maybe I'm just projecting."
Naruto glanced at her own child, who was definitely heavy-set. "…Maybe you are."
"It comes from Shisui's side." Anko snorted.
"…Is it really…?" Yugito asked.
"Sure." Anko shrugged. "He was a chubby child, too."
Yugito squinted, because that sounded somewhat unlikely. "A chubby Uchiha wouldn't do too well, I'd say. Wasn't Shisui a big-time child prodigy or something…?"
"He peaked early, yes." Anko grinned.
"…Damn, being your partner must suck." Naruto laughed as he dodged her attempt at swatting the back of his head. "You know I love throwing shade at the man, but it just feels like beating down a blind Uchiha."
"Mitarashi." Anko stated. "…If I ever decide to marry him, that is. A deadbeat who fucked off to space again, really…? I can do better, I'm sure."
"…I think your sensei might have forced his hand." Yugito said.
"Chōji is single, in any case." Naruto offered.
"Why are you thinking of him?" Yugito asked.
"…No reason." Naruto said, looking away.
"Anything to do with chubby children, perhaps?"
"No way."
"… Whatever. That guy's also enjoying the single life a bit too much." Yugito muttered. "He seems… scared, almost. I thought he didn't meet that kami — What did you guys do to him, last time?"
"Toru called it a bro-trip." Naruto said sorrowfully, doing his best to hide his shiver. "Alas, it was sorely lacking in terms of amusement. You know I'm a man of refined taste, of course—"
"A whoremonger, according to some hushed whispers." Anko laughed. "Uh… Sorry, Yugito, I suppose."
"Don't count me in." Yugito muttered. "We just happen to share a child."
"I'm sure we can make it two." Naruto said, sagely.
"Fuck off."
Naruto chuckled ruefully.
Although… truth be told, he didn't mean any of it. He was already worried enough about Yūshirō.
There was nowhere that seemed to be entirely out of the kami's reach, and he still was oscillating between two choices: staying around here so that he could try his best to protect him… or leaving him entirely, which may or may not prompt the kami to leave the child alone.
Each option came with its fair share of worries.
Frankly, if Naruto could just… put the Jūbi and his eyes away and be done with the whole kami matter entirely… he would do so without a moment's thought.
Their footsteps carried them through the city.
"Naruto!" A man called out to him.
Naruto blinked, leaving his rumination for another moment.
Shinjiro looked well. There were a few more tattoos on his bronzed arms, and his beard was kinda getting out of control, but he looked at ease here; like he had once been, only when at sea.
"Glad to see this little man-eating devil again." Shinjiro grinned.
"What, my son…?" Naruto laughed. "It's only a phase, he will grow out of it."
"Him, maybe!" The man exclaimed. "But what about the hundreds of children people say you have sired, all over the world?"
Naruto waved it away. "Rumors. Spread by Toru, likely."
Yugito gave him an unimpressed glance. "Really?" She asked. "That excuse again…? What about the Shadows?"
Naruto shrugged.
"Toru?" Shinjiro grinned. "That pale-faced lightweight?"
"That's the one." Naruto nodded solemnly. "The bindings of monogamy are eating at his soul."
"A man never steps into the same sea twice." Shinjiro quoted.
There was silence. Yugito stared at him and Anko laughed boisterously.
"…Well, I'm not quite that extreme." Naruto muttered. "You do you, though."
"…Yeah. I was about to ask about Sakura and Karin, but I think the timing's all kinds of wrong, now." Shinjiro winced.
…
Sakura and Yoisen were apparently hanging out together, which was a concept that raised Naruto's hackles, in spite of the fact that he himself had suggested that they form a two-woman team.
Perhaps hanging out was the wrong word, in any case. They were undoubtedly scheming.
Hopefully about their most important problem.
Sakura closed the notebook she was carrying when they approached. Yoisen greeted all of them with a polite smile.
"I see you've brought me the baby." Sakura chuckled. "I suppose I can take him. We were just about to leave for one of Hanabi's target worlds."
"Right now? Getting an early start, then?" Naruto asked. Sakura nodded.
"…I don't think I'd leave you alone with any child, even if it was not my own… or another world." Yugito said evenly. "With all due respect."
Sakura pretended to sigh. "…Some things never change here, huh."
"I think she means to say she's afraid that by the time their parents came back, the child would have managed to eat up a chakra fruit or two." Naruto stated.
"I'm sure it's good for their growth." Sakura shrugged.
Yoisen opened a portal in the middle of the city, and with a last smile, she left through it, leaving Sakura to say her goodbyes.
Naruto stared at Sakura, and she grinned. "What now? Worried about your best wife? I assure you — Oof."
Naruto grabbed her in a tight embrace.
"…Is this really needed?" Sakura mumbled. He knew her well, and her dislike for this sort of thing in public, too. As well as the way her face reddened a bit in pleasure in spite of it.
"You remember what I told you, right?" He asked. "If you're in trouble, the both of you—"
"Of course, of course." She nodded, brushing a hand against his cheek, as if trying to smooth the worry lines etched there. "But don't forget there's a reason we're going at all. That comes first."
Naruto hesitated. "Sakura, I…"
She slipped through his embrace, easy as breathing. "Now, of course…" She shrugged. "I'd rather not die. Hell sucked."
Naruto let out a small laugh. "…It really did."
Sakura made a point of teasing Yūshirō one last time, as she bade goodbye to Yugito. The baby tried to nibble on her finger, and Sakura did her best to pretend this was something he did with everyone, and not a little game they often played. Naruto allowed her, watching with a fond smile.
Yugito gave her an expression halfway between a smile and a sigh, and Sakura left.
…
"It feels a bit like getting left behind, huh." Naruto muttered.
Karin raised an amused eyebrow. "Someone doesn't like not being in the thick of the action, for once." She said slyly. "In this particular case, I think it might be better for all of us to just stay cautious."
Naruto let out a long sigh. "Oh, I know this very well."
Ino, Karin, and their Shadows would be required to monitor the islands, as well as any other potential source of trouble, for any sort of kami influence…
Until they could run a more automatic sort of system.
Naruto… on the other hand, might have to stay here longer.
And neither of them even knew for sure whether his presence here was helpful… or dangerous.
No kami had shown itself around Umi since… ever. But that could well be coincidence, too. And they were talking about kami, for… the gods' sake. This wait could well last forever.
Half their conjectures were drawn upon more conjecture, myths and legends; it was a complete stab in the dark.
The only upside was that he was getting better at opening smaller, more focused portals. He had a lot of time to practice, after all.
It was not solely about him feeling useless while Sasuke actually went out… while he, not even a Shadow, was spending most of his day working, or with a baby—
"Ah." Naruto muttered to himself. "No wonder that guy is always pissed."
And Sasuke couldn't even read thoughts, on top of it. He had probably been driven half-mad by the inane babbling, in truth.
"He's really not." Karin smiled. Yūshirō tried to imitate her; he did the same, flashing a toothless grin.
There was a presence at their door.
"Naruto?" A woman's voice called.
"…Up there." He answered, feeling an incoming headache.
Karin politely didn't smile.
Naruto looked up when the newcomer entered the room. That was Noriko, Ino's mother. His mother-in-law, the only one that was alive, besides Sakura's.
And… what a delight she was.
"It is a beautiful day, isn't it?" She asked, by way of greeting. "Hello, Karin!"
"Hi." Karin greeted back.
"…It is." Naruto said. Idly, he wondered what she wanted. She never came to see him if Ino wasn't around, and she definitely wasn't. Well, unless she wanted something—
"It would be a shame to waste it away indoors, wouldn't it?" Noriko continued.
Naruto glanced at her, and he had to try not to roll his eyes.
Now he could see it coming.
She had something to ask of him. As though this weren't his only day off.
Then again, she wasn't aware of everything. And she would likely give him a fair amount of shit about pissing off kami, likely. Which he didn't want to deal with today… nor tomorrow.
"A shame, yes." Naruto said, dryly.
"I can take care of our lovechild." Karin grinned. "Don't worry."
"Yugito's son." He muttered.
"That's what I said."
Naruto felt his mother-in-law's gaze.
Emperor or not, Noriko had only ever seen him as a slacker who mooched off her precious daughter.
…And a sex pest.
"You know what would be a great way to relax and enjoy this beautiful weather?" She asked. "Mowing my lawn. The grass is getting so high."
Naruto raised an eyebrow. "I agree. You should go and take care of it."
Noriko looked taken aback, and it could almost pass for something Naruto believed to be a real emotion, instead of mere guilt-tripping.
"Well, I don't have many days left on this Earth." She said.
"You're forty-five."
"And it would be nice to have a well-groomed lawn to look at while I'm still around—"
Naruto rolled his eyes, this time. "Fine, I'll mow it."
Mostly for keeping the peace, really.
Naruto summoned a clone to replace him wordlessly and set to work.
It wouldn't take long, anyway. Perhaps he could have Karin bring him his son again to get out of the invitation to have dinner with Noriko that might follow.
"Thank you very much."
The Slug Sage
A few hours later
"So you're the one responsible for all this shit, then?"
Another newcomer.
Today really wasn't a day he could spend alone, then.
Naruto looked up and away from Yūshirō, who was doing his best to roll upon his belly, looking very much like a stranded turtle. He also looked away from the scroll he was reading, the one in his right hand.
He glanced up at the woman he still wanted to see as the Scourge of the Plains. He had let her in, because in all honesty… there was nothing she could do to him.
"To think I did not understand who you were right away." She said, leaning against the doorframe. "Illusion or not."
"Tsunade." Naruto said evenly. "Whatever it is you're blaming me for, our Orochimaru is probably the person you're looking for. I didn't even have any sort of use for the Council, at first."
"The what now…?"
"He'll explain." Naruto stated, and resumed rolling Yūshirō back on his back — there were only so many games his son enjoyed playing for long.
"No." Tsunade gritted out. "I don't think I'm going to wait anymore. Do you know how damn long I spent in this thrice-cursed hellhole of a time period?"
"No." Naruto shrugged. "I have no idea at all."
"Well, let me tell you—"
"Aren't you immortal? I can see you, you know. Besides… Sakura is the person you're likely looking for." Naruto grunted. "I did not give her any sort of order."
"You are her leader, then."
"…Hardly." Naruto muttered. "Besides, we're married, I don't pull rank on her."
"Married…? To that woman?" Tsunade asked. "Why?"
"Believe me, you're not the first to ask." Naruto said. "She's pretty amazing, that's all I can say. Or maybe I just have terrible taste."
Tsunade snorted. "Perhaps it is just that."
"…So. What did you want?"
"To bash your face into that wall." She explained.
"Ah."
"But I can't exactly do that in front of your son."
"That's fair." Naruto nodded. "Children who see their parents killed in front of them tend to grow up full of hatred… and their sole goal becomes killing you. If they remember the event at all, that is."
"What the fuck are you saying…?"
"Never mind." Naruto yawned. "In any case, I'm sorry for not realizing who you were right away. There was a fair amount of confusion there."
"…Same here." She muttered. "Nice disguise. Fooled even my eyes."
"Thanks." Naruto shrugged. "Safety first."
"I doubt it."
Tsunade stood in silence, watching as Yushirō was flipped upon his back once more.
"I assume you want to go home. And that you can't." Naruto stated. "Which means that at the very least, Sakura had the… good sense not to give you Impressed eyes." Then looking at her. "…Or maybe you just didn't realize, I shouldn't count on that."
Naruto stood up and Yushiro reached out for him clumsily; he picked him up. "Come with me."
Tsunade lifted an eyebrow. "Do you think I'm one of your shinobi, perhaps?"
"…Weren't you a Kage, in the world where you are from?"
Tsunade frowned. "What of it?"
"Never mind."
…
Another world
"Shigaraki!" Kage bellowed. "I've heard of your plans, and I want to talk to you. I know you believe that society is corrupt and needs to be destroyed, but there's another way!"
"Just shut up." Shigaraki hissed.
"I cannot do that." Kage said regretfully. "I have faced many people in my life, and each time…" He paused. "I tried to understand their pain… and their reasons for wanting to destroy the world."
Next to him, Uchiha Jinsuke hissed. "Can we go, now? There is clearly no kami or intel about them here."
Kage ignored him. There was a young man in need.
"I've learned that it's always better to find a way to bring people together and create a better future."
Shigaraki scoffed at Kage; they were a fool's words. Unfortunately, the man had the power to back his stupid talk up.
Kage continued, undeterred.
"I know that you have suffered…" He said, eyes bright with emotion. "And I can see the pain in your eyes."
Shigaraki clenched his teeth. This was less amusing, suddenly. "Do not even try. I'm in a bad, bad mood."
"I have been through a lot too, but I never let that pain control me. Instead, I used it as motivation to become a better person and protect those I care about. You can do the same, Shigaraki! You don't have to be a villain. You can become a cool guy and make a real difference in this world!"
There was a long moment of silence.
Then Shigaraki burst into high, maniacal laugh.
"Shut up." He said. "Just shut up."
Kage didn't even blink. "The pain of being alone is—"
There was a flash of dark light. A paper fell out of it.
The three men paused.
"…You have a message." Jinsuke said flatly. "From that tyrant."
"I know, I know." Kage muttered, squinting his eyes to read it — he wasn't the fastest of readers, had never really found an interest for books that didn't feature pictures and/or glorious coming-of-age stories. "Huh. We're recalled to Umi."
"Why should I care?" Jinsuke hissed. "Whatever that man has to say can wait."
Kage shook his head. "You just hate him because his imperial revolution worked."
"I just hate him in general."
Jinsuke added something about Kage being an idiot; Kage headbutted Shigaraki to make him see the truth of his words.
Then they left to Umigakure.
…
"…Granny Tsunade?" Kage asked.
"…Naruto?" She asked back. "What are you doing here?"
Kage shrugged. "Trying to save worlds."
"What about Konoha?" Tsunade asked quickly. "And what's up with your left eye—"
"It's handled — I call it my Uzugan."
Jinsuke scowled. It was just a Rinnegan, not whatever stupid name Kage bestowed upon it. Besides, if he had really wanted a Rinnegan, Jinsuke could have given him his chakra and perhaps they would have managed that way too. There had been no need for that man.
"But… What are you doing here?" Kage asked, face squinting in concentration.
Also he hoped that Toru's jokes about Indruto's sexual appetite were just that, jokes. Because thinking of Granny and his brother-from-another-mother together made him feel pretty sick.
Something like reckless rage seemed to take over Tsunade. Kage had seen it before, when Shizune had decided to teach her old mentor/aunt/friend a lesson about daytime drinking.
"Me…?" Tsunade hissed. "I spent time in imposed exile because of this man's wife."
Kage stared at Naruto, who shrugged helplessly. "…Your Hanabi, right?" He asked, nodding. "Boruto tells me she bullied him into giving her some of his comics—"
"Not her, it was Sakura." Naruto said, but it did sound like something she would do.
Both Kage and Jinsuke had the same reaction.
"Ah."
"But tell Boruto I will pay him back." Naruto said, magnanimously.
A pause.
"Tsunade." Jinsuke called flatly.
Tsunade stared back at him. Their relationship, if you could call it that, had always been pretty frosty. He had caused a lot of trouble for everyone, back then. And his leaving Tsunade's last student pregnant had never really endeared him to her, Kage's patient words or not.
…Nor did his staying out of the village on "important business", leaving Sakura and her daughter alone, when he was in possession of some of the world's best space-time ninjutsu.
"Sas…" Tsunade began… and couldn't manage to finish. The thought seemed to vanish from her mind. "Jinsuke." She concluded.
The man in question scowled. But didn't care enough to even try to figure out what it was that man had done to him. That would just be giving in.
Also, he had heard her complain about a certain "Uchiha fucking shit" pretty loudly, that one time he had walked next to her favorite bar at night.
And he was pretty sure he had been the only Uchiha in the village at that time.
The last-of-her-clan-in-this-world-and-back-home and the formerly-last-of-his-clan-back-home stared at each other, as though the timeless feud had never been settled.
The realization hit her right away.
"You look just like your ancestors." Tsunade scoffed.
"Which one in particular…?" Jinsuke asked evenly.
"Two of the worst." She said. "Combined."
"The worst. Wasn't that your great-uncle…?" Jinsuke asked softly. "I have had the pleasure of meeting that man."
Kage sighed.
"Please, don't bring this stuff on the table again." He muttered. Then, turning toward Naruto: "You said you needed me to explain something…?"
Naruto pointed at Tsunade.
Jinsuke scowled harder. "We are not—"
"I thought she would be more likely to believe our story if you told her directly." Naruto said, frowning. "Cosmic entities… might sound a bit unbelievable, coming from me—"
Tsunade rubbed her arms, as though she were cold. "…That's what it was?" She asked tightly. "That thing, in the Uchiha compound…?"
Jinsuke's eyes were upon her.
"Madara's time." Kage muttered to him. Then, to Tsunade: "…That's what it was. You wanna know what a kami is, huh. A kami is like, uh… a divine being—"
"Divine is misleading." Jinsuke corrected.
"…You know, like a god or a spirit." Kage continued. "They're strong, but also kind of dicks. They can be found in… everything around us – nature, objects, animals. There are loads of them, like thousands, maybe even millions—"
"Naruto." Tsunade cut in. "Get to the point."
Kage winced. "Uh, yeah. Well you know about Greater Kami? They're the same but more dangerous. And…" He hesitated, and pointedly didn't look at Naruto. "Someone — or something pissed them off, I guess."
Tsunade stared at him.
"So because that man—"
"I didn't give any names!" Kage butted in.
"I can read you like an open book, brat."
"Ah."
"So because of that man's fuck up, we have to save our world…?" She asked tightly. "Is my guess right?"
Naruto shrugged. "More or less."
"If your son wasn't here, I would—"
"You would try." Naruto sighed. "In any case, you don't have to be involved — I really don't know what Sakura told you. Chances are they're going to leave your world alone. I don't think any of the kami have any use for the Impressed eyes. Only mine, if that."
Tsunade scoffed. "Why should I care, then?"
"Because I said 'chances are.'" Naruto shrugged. "They're apparently vengeful dicks, so I suppose you can just go and hope for the best. We're still not sure whether they are after me, my eyes… or us — something about accumulating power, but that one is unlikelier."
Naruto stared at her evenly. "I'm not taking any chances, though."
She sighed. "Ah, and here comes the more direct sort of manipulation."
"I suppose so. I have heard that in spite of what you say, you care about the world a whole lot, still." Naruto said. "I don't know if that extends to ours or not, I guess we'll have to see."
Tsunade made a derisive sound. "I'm hardly going to find time for every single world out there."
"C'mon, Granny." Kage almost whined. "We can at least try to help — They beat the aliens for us, too."
"…Which aliens?" Tsunade frowned.
"…Right, I'll tell you." Kage said. "Please? Aren't you bored in your retirement—"
"Don't say that word." Tsunade said pleasantly.
"…Right." Kage nodded. "Right."
"Besides, I just un-retired myself." Tsunade declared. "I'll never grow old."
Kage stared at her dubiously. "This, again…?" Then he blinked, trying to focus his left eye on her. "…Huh."
"Indeed." Tsunade grinned.
Naruto was starting to wonder whether bringing Kage over had helped in any way. The two were close, it seemed; Tsunade was somewhere between a mother/grandmother figure and a proud aunt.
"You'll catch up later." He said. "We could use your help. Starting by doing away with sickness."
Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "Which one?"
"Did I specify one?" Naruto asked, nonplussed.
Both Tsunade and Kage were staring at him. The last man too, likely.
Naruto didn't tap his foot impatiently. It only felt as though he did.
"…So?"
i kP8gM7: Eyebags and his Family
lensdump com i kXgMv2 : Karin's Harem
AN: Okay okay okay OKAY