Are things getting easier? No. Will they in the next few chapters? Also no.

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Chapter Thirty Eight: Tell Me How He Died
EdPOV

I stood right in front of the invisible line. Outwardly, I radiated calm and unconcerned.

But I felt like a caged animal.

There was a clock ticking that was directly connected to the sword hanging over Bella and yet, the entire world seemed to be moving through molasses.

I straightened up at the sound of a car approaching me on the road. The old, white Lincoln stopped about twenty feet away from the line and waited. I clenched my teeth impatiently.

Billy Black sat in the back of the car, eyes on me, face blank and thoughts suspiciously -and probably intentionally -blank as well. In the front, Harry Clearwater was watching me with shrewd interest. The man driving was younger, only a bit older than I had been when I was changed. His face was set in a grim frown, thoughts cautious and suspicious but surprisingly not overtly hostile. He opened his door at the same time as Harry and they both stepped out of the vehicle, leaving Billy in the back. I sniffed as the wind hit me and couldn't stop my eyes from widening in surprise.

Son of a bitch, they'd made another one.

Bella's hearty laughter filled my head, intertwining with Clair de lune, at the thought.

It pulled me back to the stark reality I was here for.

"You came alone," Harry said, voice neutral but surprise colored his thoughts.

"I saw no reason to bother anyone else with this. Things are a bit chaotic, which I will explain fully. May I have permission to address the council? It is of the utmost urgency, which I mentioned on the phone." I forced the impatience from my voice.

I couldn't afford to upset them, not when I was about to ask them for something that had such a low chance of success.

"Before we grant you permission to enter our land, we need more information," the other man -wolf -said, voice deep.

"It's… rather of a delicate nature," I replied, trying to channel my inner Carlisle.

"Delicate or not, you seriously can't think that we would let you address the council without telling us more about what you want," he barked. I stared at him, considering.

"I don't believe we've been introduced," I said with forced politeness.

"This is Sam Uley," Harry said, placing a hand on Sam's arm when he growled at me.

Growled.

Like a dog.

"Well, it's lovely to meet you Sam. I understand your reticence but my news is, to be blunt, rather distressing and I was hoping to discuss it in a contained situation and only one time."

"Mr. Cullen," Harry said quietly, "there might be a treaty in place but surely you can understand that we are not comfortable letting you on the reservation and meeting with the council without knowing what it's about." I considered him, sorting through his thoughts. When I realized this wasn't something they were going to budge on, I sighed, wiping my hand tiredly over my face.

"Very well," I said. "May I approach the vehicle so that Mr. Black can be included in the conversation?" They looked at each other, having a silent conversation with only the barest hint of thought before Sam nodded stiffly. I stepped over the line, watching them both stiffen before approaching the vehicle. Harry opened the back door so that Billy could hear.

"Mr. Black," I said politely in acknowledgement.

"Cullen," he said, still a blank canvas.

"I'm afraid I come bearing bad news. Charlie Swan is dead," I said. Billy's mask of indifference shattered as his mouth opened in shock. His thoughts were a mass of disbelief, mistrust and memories. Memories of Charlie fishing with him, of a time when he wasn't in a wheelchair.

"What," Harry asked breathlessly.

"I don't know how much Charlie told you about his job but over the last several months, he was being threatened by a serial killer. His game was to roll into town, threaten the highest ranking law enforcement officer and then play a game of cat and mouse before executing them and moving on. He targeted Charlie and, when that wasn't enough, he targeted Bella as well. Charlie arranged to have her stay with us in an attempt to protect her while he tried to catch this man." Billy's eyes were shiny with tears and he had a hand stuffed to his mouth. Harry was looking into the trees, shoulders tense with grief.

"Does… did he know what you and your family are," Sam asked gravely.

"No. Bella was aware but Charlie liked the idea of her being away from town and surrounded by land with top of the line security. The plan was that she would stay with us while he took care of this problem. They checked in every so often but he wanted to distance himself and keep her hidden in a sort of 'out of sight, out of mind mentality'. One of us was with her at all times. Except for today." Billy's eyes flashed to mine, his raw grief crumbling any chance at keeping his thoughts private.

"Is she…?"

"She's alive. Barely. She was supposed to wait until someone could go with her. She agreed to wait," I said in frustration. "It was a rare occasion that she was left alone at our house. But for reasons we're unsure of, she left before any of us could be with her and went to the station. She and Charlie were in the parking lot when his suspect pulled up. My sister, Alice, has the gift of premonition and she called to warn me. I tried to get there but… I was too late. Charlie tried to protect her but they were gunned down and then he took off before I could stop him. Carlisle did… he did everything he could but Charlie took the brunt of it and he lost him." I paused, Carlisle's memories flooding my mind along with Billy and Harry's memories of their friend. Sam was somber, stepping in to allow his leaders time to compose themselves.

"And Bella?"

"Bella's injuries are extensive and serious. Even Carlisle's extra… abilities haven't been enough to pull her out of the woods. They operated but they were unable to repair all the damage and right now, they're trying to stabilize her to go back in and fix everything. They aren't sure… it's not looking good," I muttered, fear clenching my guts until I felt like I was going to be sick.

"So what is it that you want with us," Harry asked, voice thick.

"I felt I should deliver the news personally instead of leaving you to hear it through the gossip. I would be deeply appreciative if I could address the council as a whole. I understand there is… mistrust between my family and your tribe. But time is not on my side." Harry considered me while Billy sniffed to himself in the car. Sam watched me, sizing me up and weighing the pros and cons while speculating what I would want to address the council about.

His guesses weren't too far off, even if his reasons were wrong.

"I say we let him," Sam finally said. Harry and Billy stared at each other before Harry finally nodded.

"Okay, Mr. Cullen. We'll take you to see the council. You'll have to drive with us. I'm afraid if anyone saw you on our territory without an escort, things could get… out of hand."

"Of course. And please, it's Edward." He climbed into the backseat with Billy and I sat in the passenger seat. Sam climbed in and flipped the car around. He drove quickly, which I was appreciative of. I watched the reservation as we passed, attempting to offer Billy and Harry some privacy in the back while they talked quietly about Charlie. Houses started to become visible through the trees until we pulled into a more densely populated area. Sam drove us to a large building in the center of everything. Cars were already parked around it and a few stragglers were making their way inside when we pulled up. They turned to look at us and then stopped when they saw me, immediate anger and distrust coloring their thoughts.

I stepped out of the car and waited politely while Sam helped Billy into a wheelchair Harry pulled from the trunk. They wheeled him up the ramp and into the building while I followed behind, considering how to ask for the one thing I felt that no one in this building would be inclined to give me. They headed to a room down the hall where I could hear multiple people sitting together, waiting. The people that had seen me before coming in had already mentioned my presence to the others because everyone was murmuring and thinking about me.

Edward Cullen, always the center of attention, Bella's voice teased in my head. I closed my eyes and pressed a hand to my heart.

There was a chance that her snarky comebacks and laughter in my head would be the only thing to survive.

"Wait here for a moment while we open the meeting," Sam instructed outside the door and I nodded, leaning against the wall in a very human way while he, Harry and Billy entered the room. People immediately began asking questions and demanding to know what was going on.

"Edward Cullen asked to address this council and we feel it is necessary for him to do so," Billy said loudly. Everyone grew quiet. "You can come in, Cullen," he said, knowing I would hear. I pulled open the door and stepped into the room. All eyes turned to me except for Billy and Harry's. They were seated at the front of the room but off to the side and were concentrating on composure.

"Hello. I understand how unorthodox it is for me to be here but it is of the utmost importance that I address the Elders." I recounted for a second time the circumstances of Charlie's death. Most of the room was visibly shaken by the news, everyone looking at Billy and Harry at one point or another. "Bella is in very bad shape. To be perfectly honest, Carlisle is unsure if she'll be able to recover from her injuries." More murmuring. "A lot of you are wondering why Bella knew our secret, why she was staying with us…" I listened to the thoughts of agreement and even condemnation. "When Bella first moved here, my sister Alice befriended her. She saw that Bella would be close with my family. When Bella met Carlisle, he realized that she's his mate." I winced at the bombardment of thoughts against my mind. The tension in the room tightened. I looked over at Billy who was glaring at me.

I hadn't mentioned this to him and if I had, I wouldn't be standing here now.

"I realize that this is an unexpected turn of events. We were all shocked by it as well, no one more so than Carlisle. He refused to engage with her in any way outside of the role of parent of her friends. But Alice had seen their possible future together and as you can imagine, it caused quite the rift in our family."

"She's a child," someone shouted angrily.

"Believe me, that was the core of Carlisle's argument. The way mates work for our kind is very different from you, from what I understand. Imprinting is earth shattering for your wolves. We don't always know immediately that someone is this significant to us. But the bond is undeniable and cannot be undone. No one has ever found their mate in a human, to our knowledge. This situation was unexpected and unprecedented. Carlisle respected Bella's age every second and would have continued to do so were it not for the fact that like you, the bond goes both ways. Bella felt drawn to Carlisle the same way he felt drawn to her. She convinced him to try giving the relationship a chance."

"She's seventeen. How could she possibly make that decision," Billy asked scornfully.

"I admit that she wasn't fully informed. Carlisle insisted we keep our nature secret as secrecy is the single most important law amongst our kind and he didn't want to endanger her when he was so decided against having a relationship with her. So no, she didn't know that he was a vampire when she convinced him they should be together. It wasn't until she ran into her friends from the reservation that she realized what we are." There was a collective intake of breath and I glanced at Billy and Harry. "Bella and I pretended to be in a relationship for the sake of appearances. When her friends found out we were 'dating' they reminded her of the stories she'd heard around the fireside as a child and she was already suspicious of us after I saved her from being crushed by a van and I had to reveal myself to her. She immediately connected the dots and confronted me the next day. She's known for months. And it was armed with such knowledge that she told my family that she wanted to be changed and spend eternity with Carlisle."

The room filled with shouts.

"She couldn't possibly have known what that decision would entail," Sam barked out.

"I assure you, she was informed in the most explicit terms. We explained the process of transformation as well as what life is like for us. We didn't sugarcoat it or censor ourselves in any way. She was actually upset for weeks after finding out because of what that would mean for Charlie. We didn't know and we certainly didn't pressure her. Carlisle even argued with her. He offered to stay with her until mortality took her so that she wouldn't have to change. Her wishes were clear.

"And that is why I am here. I want the council's permission to bite Bella Swan and save her before it's too late."

You could have heard a pin drop.

"You want our permission to change her," Billy asked in disbelief. "Why would we ever willingly subject anyone to becoming a monster?"

"Even if she said yes before, it doesn't mean she'd say yes now," someone else pointed out.

"I know you hate us," I said bluntly. "I don't blame you. My kind are… brutal. Monsters, as you say," I said to Billy. "But we are oddities amongst our kind. We aren't a coven, driven by power and bloodlust. We are a family, a real family. We are motivated by humanity, by a desire to be the opposite of what our kind is. We deny ourselves of even our most basic instincts to be civilized. I know that for most of you, this seems unfathomable. And I don't blame you for doubting me. But we love Bella. All of us. It's not just that she's Carlisle's mate; she's irreplaceable. She's settled into our hearts as firmly as any family member has yours. None of us want to lose her, not when we can save her."

"You mean condemn her!"

"No, I mean, save," I shouted and everyone went silent. "I would tear the world apart for Bella Swan. I would hunt down anyone who means her harm. When Charlie died, I was heartbroken because I knew she would be devastated. He was a good man, the very best. He loved her wholly. He told Carlisle with his dying breaths that she had told him about Carlisle. We don't know if she told him about what we are or about their relationship but his dying wish was for Carlisle to save her and take care of her. And while Carlisle may have his misgivings about changing her to do so, I do not suffer from the same doubts. Bella Swan doesn't have to die.

"We could just bite her now; leave and never come back." There was a ripple of unease. "But Carlisle respects the treaty we have with you. On top of that, he knows that Bella may want to return here one day, decades from now, to the place where she was happy with her father, where he grew up. He doesn't want to take that opportunity from her. And so I am here without his knowledge, pleading with you. Don't let this be the end for her. Don't let Charlie Swan's sacrifice be in vain. Let me save her without having to break the fragile trust you've placed in us. Let her live and be able to come back."

There was silence in the room.

"Sam will take you to the treaty line," Billy finally said and I wanted to roar in frustration. "He will wait with you there while we deliberate and we will inform him of our decision." I sighed.

"Thank you," I said fervently. "Thank you all for your time and consideration." I followed Sam out of the building to the car. He climbed in and I followed, settling myself into the seat, my fingers tapping an impatient beat on the side of my leg.

"How does it work between them," he asked after a moment. I searched his thoughts and found Bella and Carlisle.

"It's not like you're thinking," I said lightly. "Carlisle is far too much a gentleman to ever pressure her. Bella calls all the shots and he's merely happy to be with her. And even if she wanted to progress their relationship, she'd probably have to spend time convincing him to try. Or at least, she would have before…"

"It's really that bad," he asked gruffly.

"She could die at any moment," I whispered. "They lost her heartbeat after the first surgery and had to bring her back. Alice has been desperately trying to see if she'll be able to heal but so far it's split between us changing her before her body fails her or not doing it soon enough and being unable to bring her back long enough to do it. There is no future where she comes out of this human. She either dies or she changes."

"And Alice's visions…" I followed the unspoken question in his head.

"She's not foolproof. Our futures change based on our decisions and the decisions of others. She never saw this happening until the psycho Charlie was chasing saw them and took his opportunity. But there aren't many decisions to be had. Bella can't just choose to get better. The choice is really do we bite her and if so, when; and to be honest, the first isn't even a decision for us, with exception to Carlisle. Outside of him, we would all bite her right now just to ensure we didn't lose her. But Carlisle… Carlisle's deficit of self worth means that he will always assume that he's the lesser option. He thinks that she wouldn't say yes now that Charlie is dead and it's a life or death situation. But I think that's his irrational fear of abandonment clouding his judgment. Bella had the opportunity to look at all the consequences from her choice and she chose him, chose our family. Even when it meant losing everything. If she could decide now, her decision would be the same. I'd bet my own existence on it. But he's projecting his own insecurities onto her because it'll be easier if she's taken from him than the insane fear he has that she would choose to leave him."

"Who knew vampires were so insecure," Sam said blandly and I turned to him, a grin lighting my face for the first time since Alice's call.

"We're just like you, Sam. We just run a bit colder." He huffed out a laugh.

"If it's any consolation, I'm voting in your favor."

"Really? Why?"

"Your kind are our mortal enemies. But you were right back there when you said that your family are nothing like the rest of your kind. And if I trust that you are telling the truth about Bella being Carlisle's mate… that is a sacred bond that affects the both of them."

"What's her name," I asked and he gave me a surprised look, pulling off on the shoulder in front of the treaty line. He pulled out his phone and typed on it.

"Reading my thoughts, bloodsucker," he asked with a half smile. I grinned.

Bella would like him.

"Sort of. I mostly just picked up on your empathy and made a logical conclusion."

"Her name is Emily," he said softly. "She is… everything. Ours has not been an easy beginning. Up until a few months ago, I was dating her cousin, Leah Clearwater."

"Harry's daughter?"

"Yes. We were happy but when Emily came to visit, I saw her and my entire world shifted." I snickered and he rolled his eyes. "Imprinting is overwhelming." I listened inside his head as he remembered seeing her for the first time.

"Wow, you wolves really do get it all at once, don't you," I said sympathetically.

"We do. And she did too, but like Bella, she didn't understand what was happening to her. Unfortunately, I'm still learning to harness my control," he said bitterly, his thoughts turning dark and I watched his greatest moment of shame when he lost control and hurt his other half.

"I'm so sorry," I breathed. "She's okay?"

"She'll bear the scars of my mistake for the rest of her life. But she isn't frightened of me. She doesn't blame me at all, even though she should."

"You and Carlisle should meet. You could start a self-flagellation club." He snorted.

"Maybe he and I do have that in common. On top of her injury, we've had to deal with the fallout with Leah. We're both devastated that she was hurt in all this. She won't even speak to Emily and I've apologized profusely but she doesn't want to hear it."

"You know, she and Rachel Black were the ones to tell Bella that we were vampires."

"What?"

"They obviously don't believe the legends of your people. They think it's a bunch of superstition. But Bella found them stomping around the forest a couple months back. It was probably right before you and Emily met, judging by the season in your memory."

"So you're saying they broke the treaty by telling her." His voice was calm and his thoughts had gone blank but not before I got a taste of the alarm in them.

"Unintentionally. And I'm not sure it's applicable to them since they don't know the legends are true. We certainly have no plans to retaliate. My coming here today proves that we still consider it intact and a priority."

"If you bite her, you'll have to leave, right? Even if we grant you this exception?"

"Yes. Newborn vampires are quite similar to new wolves. They're very strong and run mostly on instinct. We can't risk being near civilization. Alice is working out all the logistics right now," I said with a smile. "And we won't be able to come back until the people here are dead or too old to remember us."

"That's a shame. I think it's a shame we let our prejudices prevent us from getting to know each other more. Even if you do smell awful."

"A tale as old as time," I lamented and he laughed. "Perhaps some council sanctioned visits are in order. Discreetly, of course. Carlisle always dreamed that we'd bridge the gap and become friends. He's disgustingly optimistic that way." He laughed again but stopped when his phone buzzed in his hand. He slipped out of the car and stepped away to the side of the road opposite me. I pulled myself from the car, trying to listen in but whoever was on the other end of the phone was speaking too softly for me to hear.

"Understood," he said sharply, before hanging up. He turned around to find me standing next to the car.

Did my face betray my anxiety?

"That was the council. It was discussed and a vote was taken. You have permission to change Bella Swan. The terms of the treaty remain in place outside of this one exception." Relief flooded through my body like liquid sunlight.

"Thank you," I said earnestly, reaching out a hand to him. He took mine and shook it firmly.

"Billy wanted me to tell you that he'd still rather die than become a bloodsucker. But Charlie was like a brother to him and he would have done anything to save Bella, so Billy will make that choice in his stead. Go save her. Let me know what we can do to help." I smiled, walking towards the treaty line.

"I will. Oh and Sam," I said, turning to face him. "Often we accidentally hurt those we care about most, even with the best intentions. Emily understands that. Punishing yourself hurts you but it hurts her too. Don't let that cause more pain for you both when she's already forgiven you. Learn to forgive your mistakes the way you would forgive hers."

"You an expert on relationships, bloodsucker?"

"Not by a longshot. But I am an idiot who is lucky enough to find myself married to someone who deserves far better. We've been married for almost a century and I have made mistakes that she probably should have killed me for."

"I can't imagine you being married for that long. Give her my sympathies." I laughed loudly.

"Definitely demon spawn."

I sobered up and nodded to Sam before racing into the trees toward the hospital.

I would convince Carlisle that he needed to change Bella now and if that failed…

I'd change her myself.