Searching for your Identity

I hope you like de story, and that you tell me his opinions, through them I know if I'm on the right path.

Remember English is not my native language, I hope the translation is correct, check it, but sometimes I miss some incorrect personal pronouns for the phrase, sorry.

I reiterate, I do not own the characters of Friends I only rely on them for the pure pleasure of writing stories without any economic interest, and Monica and Chandler they inspire me

Chapter 4

The flight to Barcelona was calm, the children were excited at the beginning, they did not stay still, Jack cried, they did not want them to disturb the rest of the passengers, but after a while, with a bottle involved, they ended up falling asleep. -

Chandler had rented a car, so they went to pick it up and drove to Cadaqués, which is about a two-hour drive away. In the car, in addition to their suitcases, they carried the five blue boxes, the only things missing were the family photos that Chandler had set aside and the beach photos from 1967 that he had in his travel bag.

They planned to stay at Nora's house for about 15 days and then return to Barcelona for a week to see the city.

With that program Chandler had several days to talk to his mother.

She welcomed them happily, the house was perfect, it was not very big, but it had amenities for everyone, and most importantly, a terrace and a garden that looked directly at the sea.

The weather was incredible, nothing like the hell you feel in August in NY, although it was warm, the sea breeze was a balm.

The first days they toured the small town, the food was exquisite, and they enjoyed the beach, the babies got to know the sand that they believed it was a great plate of food. Nora was quite patient with them, she was not as attached as Helena, but she took care of entertaining them.

They had been in Cadaques for a week when Chandler asked Monica to go down to the beach with the babies; he wanted to be alone with Nora to talk calmly.

"Mom, we can sit on the terrace, I need to talk to you about something important," Chandler told her softly, but seriously.

"What's wrong, do you have any health or money problems?" Nora asked.

"No mom, neither one thing nor the other, the problem is in the past"

Nora looked at him strangely. "What about the past, we won't talk again about the fights with your father and your time at boarding school…, I think you've gotten over that."

"That past is over, don't worry, mom, there's just one detail that I came to clarify," Chandler told her seriously.

"What is it about? Nora asked, clearly surprised.

"When I went to the apartment, I picked up the boxes that you asked me for. Did you see I brought them to you? And you told me to look at the boxes with photos to see if there were any of the family that might interest me." Chandler was a little silent… "I found photos of grandparents Bing and Tyler, photos of them with me, of dad, of your engagement, of your marriage, of your pregnancy, I only kept the photos with the grandparents, some of dad's photos and some of you, and photos of me with you as I was growing up, there are not many, but I improve my album"

Nora looked at him in silence, she knew that there was something more in this conversation and she began to worry.

Chandler continued, "All the photos had the date they were taken on the back, which helped me a lot to locate myself in time and space" …. He was silent again, and put his hand in his jacket pocket..., "and I also found these photos, where you are with an unknown guy, on the beach, with a group of young people, in which you can see that with that guy you had a clear romantic relationship."

"Son, you know, I have had many boyfriends," said Nora, laughing, but a little nervous.

"Yes I know, the problem is that according to the date on each photo, that romance took place between mid-June to mid-July 1967, exactly nine months before I was born." Chandler looked her straight in the eye when said this.

Nora took a deep breath. "What are you trying to say?"

"Mom, I think I was clear, according to the date of my birth, I was conceived in the period of time in which you were on that beach, of romance with this man, in a word, this man could be my father," Chandler concluded. firmly

"Oh god, where did you draw such a conclusion, mine with that boy was only a couple of times, your father was also at the beach."

"No mom, I asked her and she wasn't on the beach during that time since she had gone with friends to Atlantic City…"

"You talked about this story with your father, I can't believe it! Nora said clearly annoyed.

"Yes mom, I talked to her when she came home, I showed her the photos, and we did a DNA test, Charles Bing and Chandler Bing are not related, they are not related" … Chandler put his hand in his pocket again and bag in report with the DNA result

"Here you have it so you can check that I am not lying, nor imagining things…"

"Mom, I'm not here talking to you to question your life. Dad explained to me that at that moment you had no choice, it was to say that the pregnancy was his, or you would expose yourself to the grandparents' decision, which would be drastic. I just want to understand why you never said anything to me…. I have the right to know who that man is, what is his name… I simply want to know who the man who fathered me is, because I'm telling you, Helena will never stop being my father nor will I stop being her son, we are both clear about it and it will continue that way forever, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to know my identity."

"To your questions, I said that the pregnancy was your father's, exactly as he told you, to avoid the drama that my parents would cause, they knew Charles, he was the perfect candidate, as I was for his parents, so that both family members fixed everything quickly.

"Your father and I had started dating a couple of months before, when I went to the beach with my cousin, I met that boy, I liked him right away, he was cute, friendly, very seductive, he was a friend of another of the boys from the group, they were medical students, and although they behaved correctly, they came from families without as much status as mine, according to my cousin, nothing compared to the Bing's and the Tyler's"

"Clearly for me the romance had no future, and neither did he, he had a girlfriend, they were planning to get married the following year, but he was sexy and decidedly made love better than your father."

"What was his name?" Chandler asked.

"Curlers, everyone called him that" Nora answered.

"But his real name, his last name" Chandler asked again.

"I don't remember, I don't even know if I ever knew, we only called each other by nicknames," Nora answered.

"Mom, please tell me the truth."

"It's the truth, I swear, and the only one who probably knew it was my cousin who died three years ago."

"Son, forgive me, I never wanted you or Charles to know, even though it may seem like a lie, I didn't want to hurt Charles especially, he loved you from the first moment, and I felt that it was too late to tell the truth, it would hurt him, and maybe you lost someone who really loved you. I also didn't think that knowing the truth would move you so much," Nora explained... and added, "I'll clarify that that boy never knew anything about this, he has no idea about my pregnancy or your birth."

Then Nora asked him, "if we find him, will you go meet him…"

"No, I'm sure not, it's not going to be of any use to either of us, and maybe I'll bring complications in his life, I just want to know his name, maybe look him up on the internet to see if he's on Facebook, find out if he lives, see his face, feel that I identify with him just seeing his photo, nothing more"

"Chandler, give me a couple of days to try to remember something, the truth is that I buried it deep, it was a very stressful moment when I found out about the pregnancy, I was so scared, I hope you understand me" Nora explained softly.

"It was because you suddenly found yourself pregnant with a guy you didn't love, because you were so scared of facing your parents, because you had to marry another guy you didn't love either, was it because of all that that you never felt attached to me?

"Oh God, don't think that! I was scared but also happy, I was excited to have you, I wanted to have you, if I hadn't loved you I would have taken the path that my parents would surely have made me follow, giving you up for adoption, I didn't want that, I wanted that you were with me, to raise you" …"I had always liked your father physically, and I also felt comfortable with his character, I was not crazy in love, but I was calm, later when I realized what the reason for his coldness was, I think that I couldn't get over it. At that moment we should have divorced, but we stayed together, thinking that we were doing it for you, but in reality we ruined your childhood, adolescence, and almost your entire life" ….

"Chandler, please don't ever think that I didn't love you, that I don't love you, you are the only good thing that happened to me in my life, you, Monica, the children, maybe I'm not very demonstrative, life made me hard, selfish and that It happened to me precisely because I didn't know how to choose a good path, it's all my fault."

"Son, please believe me," Nora said, squeezing Chandler's hand tightly with her eyes shining with the tears that Nora was reluctant to let out. It was the first time Chandler had seen his mother with a gesture of emotion.

Chandler approached her mother and hugged her, leaving a kiss on her cheek.

"I believe you" …. "Now try to remember something, make the effort for me," he told her with a smile.

"I promise I will."

That night after dinner, Chandler told Monica about the conversation with his mother, she noticed that he seemed a little calmer.

For her part, Nora went to bed trying to remember something, and she fell asleep.

The next morning when Nora woke up suddenly she remembered something, maybe she could find that boy's name.

She began to carefully review the boxes with documentation, they passed the papers and there was nothing, but she was reaching for the oldest ones, the ones with yellowed pages, and suddenly she found a folded page, she opened it and there was the list.

She read it carefully, there were the nicknames, the first names and surnames of everyone who had been on the beach that summer, they had done it so they could stay in touch, something she did not do with any of them, except with her cousin, and there was the name and Curlers's full name.

After breakfast, while Monica and the children were playing on the terrace, Nora asked Chandler to accompany her to her bedroom.

They sat in a couple of armchairs by the window, Chandler could see Monica with the children from there.

"Son, last night I went to bed obsessed with remembering, I couldn't do it until sleep overcame me, but this morning a possibility came to mind, on the beach before leaving we decided to make a list with our nicknames, names, surnames and phones to keep in touch, I kept the note, although I never made contact with any of them" and Nora continued

"I looked in the blue boxes with documents, and almost at the bottom of one of them, the one that contains the oldest documentation, I found the note, here it is, you will find Curlers's name"

Nora handed the note to Chandler, it was a somewhat yellowish sheet of paper, he opened it and began to read the names, there were about 20, and suddenly his eyes stopped on one, his heart began to pound, his stomach fell closed, his hands began to shake... his legs went limp.

"Chandler, look Curlers is 11 on the list, his name is Richard Burke, I don't think after 36 years the phone number will be the same."

His mother's voice came to Chandler from afar, he couldn't think, his head was a whirlwind, it couldn't be, that couldn't be… not him….

With barely a whisper of voice he asked Nora, "Are you sure this is it…"

"Yes son, it's him, what's wrong with you, you're white, your hands are shaking, do you know him?"

Chandler was silent for a long time, staring at the page, Nora was getting worried,

"Chandler, are you okay, what's wrong?"

He tried to compose himself a little, this revelation couldn't come out of there, not now, not until he could reason clearly.

"Mom, I know him, he is a friend of Monica's parents, that's why I ask you to keep this name between the two of us, you should never tell anyone, ever…"

"But Monica will ask you, she knows about your search."

"Yes, I will tell she any other name, whatever comes to mind, at this moment I can't think clearly."

"But what's wrong with him being a friend of your in-laws?"

"He is married, he has children, grandchildren, I don't want him to know this, I had already told you that I didn't want to meet him or tell him who I am, and now I don't want anyone to know who he is, please mom, swear to me,"

"It's fine son, I swear, no one will know from me who your father is."

"Can I take the list?" Chandler asked.

"Of course, it's yours."

Chandler stood up, "I need to walk, go out and get some air, tell Monica that I went to the Villa to buy something, don't tell her that you remembered anything, just that I went to the Villa, please."

"It's okay son, stay calm…"

Nora was surprised by how much knowing his father's name had affected Chandler, and the fact that it was known to his in-laws, she didn't think it was so bad that they knew, but obviously Chandler had his reasons, she knew little about the Geller's. Maybe they were gossips and didn't know how to keep secrets. Nothing would ever come out of her mouth, she would never fail her son."

Chandler took the car and went to a beach on the other side of the Villa, he sat for a couple of hours on a rock, his head hurt, his stomach also hurt, he took the list out of his pocket, he read it once more, there was no doubt about what he said, Richard was his father, just Richard….

He had to assimilate it as soon as possible, he had to calm down, act as if nothing had happened, Monica couldn't see him in that state... he took a deep breath several times.

He also had the photos in his pocket, he looked at them again, and he realized that the familiar thing he seemed to see in the guy's face was not that he looked like him, but that he had some Richard.

Monica hadn't noticed.

God Monica, he couldn't tell her any of this, it would affect her, he was sure, she had told him to let it be that this search could hurt someone, but he had become infatuated, and now the one who would surely get hurt would be her, love of their life.

He took the list and the photos, tore each of them into small pieces to make sure they were unrecognizable, and threw everything into the sea.

He was dying for a cigarette, but Monica would smell it and she knew he smoked when he was nervous. He didn't want to drink...

He had to go back to the house, Monica would be worrying, he stopped by a store to buy dolls for the children dressed in the local costumes.

He tried to relax, when he entered the house Monica looked at him with concern, "Hello love, you took too long, I was worrying…"

Nora looked at him, "I told Mon not to worry that you were going to tour some of the Villa and buy something for the children." She knew that if he bought something it would be for them.

As soon as the children saw him, they crawled quickly to look for him, he lifted them into the air, the way they liked, and he gave them a big kiss and gave them the bags with the dolls.

The first thing Monica did when she saw the dolls was say, "Those are too cute to break, we'll save them to decorate the mantel in their rooms" and she smiled at Chandler.

He approached Monica and gave her a big hug, "I missed you" he said.

"Me too, and she kiss him on the lips."

Chandler continued to hug Monica's shoulders as they walked to the dining room.

At one point he approached Nora, "Whatever you think, his name was Rick Norton, you don't remember anything else, it's the only thing you know."

"Okay, Rick Norton."

Monica knew him very well, something was wrong with him, he was not going to cheat on her.

"Chandler, what's wrong, and don't tell me anything, you're tense."

"Mom thinks she remembers his name was Rick Norton, but she's not sure, and I don't think he can go any further."

"And what are you going to do"

He had to show a little more interest in finding out so he told her "When we get home I will look on the internet to see if I can find someone with that name, but if there is nothing I will leave it there, I wanted to know the truth, that the type of the photo was my father and what was his name, and I already know, the topic remains there forever."

"Seriously, can you stay calm about that?" Monica asked.

"Yes, love, it's enough with this search, I know the truth, that's enough for me."

Monica fell asleep deeply, but he couldn't fall asleep, he was angry with himself, "what the hell did I want to find out for…"

And now what he knew had shocked him, but no one would know, now he had to get over it.

They left Cadaques and went to Barcelona, they fell in love with the city and with some effort he returned to the usual Chandler, playful with the children, loving with Monica, the best lover.

It's time for me to explain how I got to this story, if I did it before it would reveal too much, and I had to maintain some suspense. Recently, after the loss of Matty, I saw on Instagram or on X, a photo of Tom Sellec and Morgan Fairdhild , from the 60's, in which the two appear together, probably taken in some filming and, whoever published the photo, at the bottom wrote, "if Chandler saw this", and it seemed to me that this premature union of both protagonists and the role that each one performance in Friends, could be a place from which to start a shocking story for Chandler, I also opted for Chandler not to reveal it to Monica, he loves her, he knows that she will not take the news well and he does not want to bring discomfort to their relationship, he can live with that secret.

But, although he wanted it that way, his identity would take him down unexpected paths.

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