If you were thinking about putting on the X-men theme song for a particular chapter…this is it, folks. At least the first and last bit. Might wanna pick something else for the middle. Maybe "Robbers" by The1975.
Part 40: Last Stop
Three things. There were only three things ah needed to do. There would be no fourth. And there was only one thing left.
Ah had the team. Ah'd rescued Gambit. Now we had to stop the heart. But there was no way back.
Ah guarded mah thoughts as best ah could and felt a calm resolution as ah let go of the possibility of makin' it.
It wasn't all calm. Ah wanted to win. Ah wanted to celebrate victory. Ah wanted to go home and finish all the stories left unresolved. But there was no road ah could take that led there.
The only road left was one that might save the people here. Save the team, at least. Save mah friends…mah family. Save Remy. It was a price ah was willin' to pay. Ah accepted it as best ah could with the time and resources ah had left. Ah had to finish the mission.
Jean and Psylocke added moah reinforcements to the door, but the next blow left a crack. No time.
Ah opened mah eyes and found En Sabah Nur watchin' me, waitin' patiently, expectantly.
Ah addressed him, "'Small and selfish', is that what you called me? Called him?"
When ah'd absorbed Gambit, ah heard whispers of his thoughts. Ah had tried to ignore them, with Jean's help, as ah had everyone else who entered. But ah had some idea of what this monster had done. He didn't answer me.
"Ever heard the term 'projection' befoah? Yoah big, and powerful. Capable. You coulda done anythin'. But yoah the one who's small and selfish. And you can't imagine anyone bein' different. Can't imagine a world where people have somethin' they care about moah than themselves. But honey, if ah got any religion at all, it's exactly that."
Clenchin' mah arms, ah pulled Colossus' metal skin back over mine like a sheath befoah usin' Cyclops' optic blasts to shatter the glass ceilin'. Storm's power concentrated barometric pressure below me to lift me off the ground and then carried me with the wind into the air, hurtlin' away from En Sabah Nur and the common area. Jubilee's plasmoid blasts covered the trail behind me.
Once airborne and free of the containment area, ah scanned furiously foah the tower. Ah had just caught sight of it when collared mutants rose into the air, pursuin' me.
Ah cut a weavin' path but with so many chasers, ah was takin' hits with no time to really tell what they were. Most had no chance against Colossus' defense, but some had electrical properties that stunned me and ah dropped several feet befoah regainin' my balance and flyin' on.
Storm helped me call down wind from the sky, twistin' and turnin' it into small cyclones, pullin' folks off mah tail as ah made mah way to mah destination.
"Storm, you drive," Ah gave control of mah body over to her, and she was able to glide with moah finesse than ah could, though ah could tell Colossus' weight added some difficulty.
As ah found mahself back in the Danger Room, ah continued handin' out directives.
"Psylocke, guard the door. Give me as much time as you can. Jean, ah need you help me open the exit and hold it. Everybody brace yoahselves, ah'll tell ya when to go through."
Ah watched on the screen as somethin' heavy hit Storm, sendin' her head over heels at the mercy of gravity. She barely managed to regain herself and avoid hittin' the ground. It had knocked us off trajectory and she worked to get us back directed at the tower and it's strange, pulsin' blue light.
Ah had to trust her. Ah had to focus. Ah had to feel.
Beast programmed a series of posts with handles throughout the Danger Room and the team took defensive positions.
Determination. Desperation. Ah could not fail.
Jean latched on and ah felt the feelin' grow and swell. Pressure. As she pulled on my motivation, so too ah pulled on that growin' force.
Blood ran down mah face and it startled Storm. In her hesitation she got hit again with vigor, and this time it did manage to ground her, knockin' the wind out of mah lungs. Wolverine's regenerative capability was healin' whatever was breakin' in mah head as fast as ah could break it, but it was cyclical. Nevertheless, we were holdin' steady.
To our amazement, the very ground under Storm's feet started to swell and pitch, then opened, tryin' to swallow her. Beast helped us realize that En Sabah Nur was, himself, fightin' back. He lent his agile aid to help Storm to dodge and vault herself back into the air.
A ground-based patrol was in range, and the familiar purple arms of Gorgeous George hurtled from the ground to capture her. Cyclops' blasts were less than reserved when he met and countered them. Gorgeous withdrew and Storm flew on.
Moah cracks appeared in the door and Psyclocke groaned as she redoubled her efforts to reinforce and hold it. She was drenched in sweat.
At last, the pressure built to and past the point of pain, which was mercifully dampened by the barriers Jean was holdin' in place. The fissure in mah mind began to open, and the gap created a pressure differential, pullin' on the spectres of the Xmen as they tried to resist.
"Beast, yoah up. Ah don't know exactly what shape y'all will be in when you get back. If you can, do what you can to stabilize the others. Especially Wolverine. He's handlin' brain damage and there's moah to come. Ah doubt you'll be able, but if ya can, get to Gambit and Colossus."
Beast nodded his assent, "Have faith my friends. Good night, and good luck."
He disappeared through the gap, which stayed open.
Unable to help mahself, ah looked foah Gambit. He was his right self, at least in appearance. Jubilee was holdin' onto him as they crouched behind a post. He was starin' at me in a daze and knowin' ah wouldn't be able to to go him, not now, not ever, made the want burn like fire.
The gap tore wider and the current pulled the harder.
Jean shouted, "Rogue, focus!"
As Storm approached the tower, the entrances collapsed, and suddenly the entire structure started to topple. She had no choice but to retreat to avoid fallin' debris and the sounds of the massive structure crashin' was deafenin'. As she swerved and dove we met again with the flyin' patrollers, one landing on Storm's back. Jubilee used mah hands, palms out to blast her light show, knocking them away and then flicked her wrists in rapid succession at the others with accuracy any of us could be proud of. They put moah space between themselves and Storm as they sought to regroup.
"And they said video games were a waste of time!" she thought in triumph.
Resortin' back to ranged attacks, somethin' electric hit again, this time sharper, moah acute. Storm began to tumble and the ground swelled up to meet her. Jean used her telekinesis to shove it back down forcefully, holdin' it back with just enough margins foah Storm to regain herself.
The effort of doing so while still helping me keep the gate open was evident as Jean ground her teeth, and it seemed in mah mind's eye that her grimacin' face was surrounded by an orangish glow.
Another blow to the door. The cracks were startin' to spread. Psylocke dropped to her knees and held her hands aloft, glowin' softly purple. It caught Jean's attention and she added what force she could to help.
"We don't have long!" Psylocke gasped out, pantin'.
"Jubilee, go!" Ah ordered.
"ME?! Come on! I'm killing it out here!"
Storm flew in a spiral as Cyclops' red blasts fired in all directions, thinnin' our pack of pursuers.
"I'll cover range! I don't have my visor, Beast needs support!" Cyclops hollered, urgin' Jubilee to cooperate.
Meanwhile, Wolverine had been fightin' his way over to where Jubilee and Gambit crouched. He grabbed her by the back of her jacket and she scowled up at him.
"Yer the MVP, kid. Did good. See ya." He tossed her out from behind the post and the force pulled her through the gap. It hurt, but it held. He took up position by Gambit.
The tower was reduced to a pile of rubble and the ground was spikin' up in all directions, tryin' to grab hold of Storm…me.
"ORDERS!" Stormcalled desperately.
It was hard to make thoughts and hold the gap open, but ah searched mah mind voraciously. Somethin' came to me: the glass ceilin'. Beast said En Sabah Nur had fused himself with the surroundin' environment, but also augmented himself, added structures. Not all of it was truly him. The glass ceilin' was just glass.
"We need to find a place the pulse doesn't pass through. Somethin' that not part of him. Close to the tower base as you can get!"
Storm was havin' to move and move fast to keep out of reach of the desperate clutches of En Sabah Nur, but she tried her best to study the ground and we all did the same through the screen. She flew in jagged circles around what was left of the tower base.
The door started to pound in rapid succession, like a titan knockin' with a series of mortars.
"Jean I can't hold it!" Psylocke shouted, voice ragged as her body shook with exertion.
"I've got it! Go!" The orange glow around Jean was growin', now around her whole body, not just her face. It was like she was catchin' fire, but she held.
With one last shove, Psylocke disconnected and vanished.
At last, we saw some pockets of ground that the pulse missed as it radiated outward, now comin' in faster flashes of blue. A few were close to the tower base, and ah the picked one that looked the largest, maybe thirty yards across, ten yards wide. Ah knew the dimensions came from Cyclops' mind, not mine.
"There!" ah cried.
Storm dove like lightnin' to hover above the dead zone.
"Cyclops, get us to bedrock!"
To mah great awe, a blue shield spread out overtop of us. Ah didn't know how in the world Jean was managin' it while holdin' the door and protectin' me, but ah was grateful.
Red blasts shot at full power down onto the surface, breakin', meltin', steamin'. The ground leveled and sunk under Cyclops' unwaiverin' assault. The surroundin' area, the real body of En Sabah Nur, rose up overtop of Jean's shield, buryin' us as quickly as we could dig. Somehow, some light remained, and ah realized that mah body was glowin' orange like Jean's, illuminatin' the darkness like a flame.
Ah don't know how long we went on, but finally Cyclops shouted, "DONE!"
Storm dropped down to land and ah snatched back control of mah body, puttin' her back in the Danger Room.
"Storm, GO!" Ah demanded.
She closed her eyes, the expression on her face crushed, but she heeded me and slipped through the gap.
Ah let the metal sheets scale away, leavin' just mah normal skin exposed, "Colossus, Cyclops, and Wolverine, GO!" Ah demanded.
"You'll be defenseless!" Gambit shouted in horror. The first thing he'd said to me.
Ah clenched mah hands, "We're not playin' defense today. Ah gotta get them safe! Fellas, GO!"
Colossus left his post and let himself be drawn away. Cyclops took one last look at Jean, rigid with exertion. Her eyes met his and she nodded at him definitively. With his face grim and his fists clenched, Cyclops too passed through the gap. Jean looked at me with relief and gratitude.
Wolverine stabbed one clawed hand into the floor of the Danger Room, then the other.
"Wolverine, GO!" Ah shouted at him desperately as part of the door fell off and a deafenin' roar sounded through.
"Like hell."
"You can't help with this!"
"You don't know that."
"It's too dangerous! Please, ah gotta know y'all are safe, that's the only thing ah'm holdin' onto!"
"And what am I supposed to hold onto, huh? I'm supposed to be grateful? Missing half my memories but this is one I'll get to keep? Wonderin' what would have happened if I'd had the stones to try?"
The tears poured over mah face, ah no longer cared about them at all. "Logan yoah my very best friend. Please let me do this. Let me do this one thing!"
"Not a chance, darlin'. You and me: we always do it alone. Not this time. Yer my girl. Still. Always. Wherever yer headed next, I'll be there!" he snarled.
The roar continued on the other side of the door and we saw somethin' clawin' at the hole, tearin' bits and pieces off.
"Logan, please!" Jean shouted at him, the green of her eyes devoured by orange flames.
"Not this time, Red. You got Scott. That's the way it's supposed to be."
Jean's expression was tortured, but she dragged her eyes with violent effort away from him and back to me. Our tear-streaked faces matched in agony, "Rogue, I can't hold him much longer."
Voice raw and heart bitter, ah asked her, "Can you get yourself and Gambit out, as soon as it's done?"
"Yes. I can."
"Promise me you'll get him out!" Ah demanded.
"I promise!"
To demonstrate, she emitted a tendril of fiery orange energy, tetherin' it to her post. She lifted herself up and floated just through the gap but stayed connected. Another tendril shot out and back into the Danger Room, like a talon, and wrapped itself around Gambit's waist.
Now the last thing. The hardest thing.
Ah turned mah whole self to Gambit.
Suddenly, it was like ah could see him with mah wakin' eyes, standin' here with me in this crushin' pit of stone.
He looked up at me with a face full of rage. He'd finally realized.
"You got to be out of yo' mind."
"Gambit-,"
"NO!" He bellowed at me.
All at once, everything vanished.
Ah found mahself breathless, unsteady, someplace quiet and calm. A wave rolled underneath me and ah dropped to mah knees.
Wood. Ah landed on wood slats, gently undulatin'. The wood was narrow, only about six feet wide. Somethin' shimmered below…water.
Ah could hear gentle waves lappin' against a shore. Birds called merrily, dreamily. As ah looked up, ah realized ah was on a dock. The lake line stretched wide all around me, peppered with shrubs and hardwoods. Settin' sunlight gleamed brightly enough off the water's surface that ah had to squint, but the light only seemed to draw closer, brighter. Somethin' about the shade was wrong.
Ah finally looked up, and saw Jean standin' in front of me, bathed in orange flames. Radiant with power, the sadness of her face was a stark contrast.
"It's the best I could do."
"Where am ah?"
She sighed, "It's a place I made for Scott and me. A place we could get away together. My family has a place on Lake St. Catherine in Vermont. We've had so many happy memories there. So I made this version."
Shakin' out of mah disorientation and risin' to mah feet, ah demanded of her, "What about En Sabah Nur?! The door?! The cave?!"
"This place is special. Time passes differently. While you're here, events nearly stand still in the physical realm. It won't be much time. An hour or two. When the sun touches the trees, you'll be back. It was the best I could do," she repeated.
Ah felt eyes on mah back and ah spun around defensively, but then mah breath caught. It was Remy, standin' as uncertainly as me.
An hour or two.
Ah turned back to look at Jean. A flamin' tear dripped from her chin. "Thank you," ah mouthed. She folded in on herself, and then vanished.
We were alone.
As Remy watched me, his eyes slowly intensified, challenged, accused. His face twisted up again in rage, but he was…he was Remy.
"You can be mad at me in minute," Ah offered in a stupor as ah rushed to him and crushed mahself to him, and him to me.
Despite his fury, he gave no hesitation as he grabbed me back, but his voice was hot against mah ear, "How can you possibly ask dis o' me? How DARE you ask dis o' me?!"
"Give me mah minute, Cajun. You don't even know how ah've been missin' ya."
Remy barked a hard laugh in mah ear, "I don' know? I don' know?" he drew back just enough to look me in the eyes. "I came here to save you, Anna." Mah name on those lips was poetry, even angry as he was. "I been fighting heaven and hell to save you, whether you wanted me o' not. You asked me to stay and I stayed. You asked me to go and I went. But dis…you can't ask me dis!"
"You think ah haven't been fightin'?! You gave me the battle you've been losin' foah years, put it inside mah head. Ah know it may not have looked like it but ah've been fightin' mah way back to you ever since and ah'm not gonna lose you now!"
He grabbed mah shoulders roughly and the inches between us hurt almost moah than ah could stand, "But you'll ask me to lose you? How is dat fair?!"
Furious tears glassed over the red glow from his eyes. Ah'd always loved those beautiful, unique eyes. Ah didn't want to fight. Ah wished ah could wipe those tears away.
Suddenly, a thought occurred to me. This was…a psychic projection. Ah'd already fully absorbed Remy, that's how he was here in the first place. What would happen…?
Remy felt the sudden shift in mood, and his expression steadied to somethin' between confusion and suspicion. Ah raised mah hand, dazed, afraid to think or feel or even hope, but compelled to know. He froze as he watched me.
As gently, as lightly as ah possibly could, ah touched the tips of mah fingahs to his cheek and then immediately drew back. Nothin'.
Ah reached out again, slowly, and this time ah let mah fingahtips rest against Remy's perfect face. Nothin'. I trailed down the side of his jaw. He hadn't shaved in a few days. Ah felt the roughness of it, but nothin' else. No strange pull of mah powers. He stood like a statue.
Ah raised mah other hand and at last indulged mah desire. Ah ran a thumb gently under his eye, drawin' the threatenin' tears out and away. Then ah cupped his face fully with both hands, feelin' the swell of his cheeks, the curve of his jaw, the texture of his skin. It was moah wonderful than ah had even imagined.
Remy exhaled slowly, somethin' like relief, and closed his eyes, pressin' his head moah firmly against mah hand, then turnin' it back and forth in a slow caress. Finally he opened his smoulderin' eyes, holdin' me captive with his softly glowin' gaze.
His grip on mah shoulders loosened, and ah could see how tense he was holdin' himself…tryin' to be gentle. One hand drifted down and rested against mah low back, almost like he was tryin' to make shoah ah wasn't gonna escape. It made me smile in surprise. Ridiculous.
His other hand wound it's way behind mah neck, and the feelin' of the rough skin of his palm pressed there made me shiver and break out in goosebumps. Remy leaned closer to me, and as he did he used his other hand to pull me closer to him. Mah breath caught and mah heart…oh mah heart…
At last he closed the distance between us and his lips were warm as they pressed against mine. Soft. Intent. His. Perfect. If this was the only kiss ah would ever have, it would be moah than enough. How could ah ever have deserved a kiss like this?
Ah didn't have to think. It came as natural as breathin'. Mah hands snaked their way to the back of his neck and then up into his hair. Remy kissed me harder. His hand against mah back got heavier and ah let mahself release, let him support me. He drew back, eyes searchin', gaugin'. It annoyed me. Ah wasn't done.
One corner of his mouth twitched, "You never fight fair."
Ah knew the whole world was waitin', but foah one moment this was moah important. Ah wrapped both arms around his neck and pulled his mouth back to mine. He was less gentle this time. Remy wrapped both arms around mah waist and slowly lowered us down, lyin' side by side on the dock as the water moved below us and the world seemed to move around us.
He parted from me again, to mah aggravation, to shrug out of his jacket. Crumplin' it, he put it under our heads befoah coverin' mah face in a flurry of kisses, mah forehead, mah cheeks. It made me feel so sheepish ah couldn't help but smile as ah felt mah face go red.
When he noticed, he finally smiled. A real smile. Remy's smile.
Even though it made me all the redder, ah finally gave voice to what ah wanted most.
"Touch me. Please."
Remy's expression changed to somethin' near pain as his hands traced a trail from mah forehead…down mah cheeks…across mah jaw…down my throat…and finally drew light patterns on mah collarbone, sendin' shivers up mah spine. His eyes caught every expression of mah face, every breath, every tremor.
Ah reached over and found the hem of his shirt, lettin' mah fingahs sneak underneath to explore. He was so warm. So new to me. Ah couldn't get enough of his skin. As mah hands wound their way upward, ah marveled at the rise and fall of his breath, his heart beatin' strongly under his chest. Ah wanted to look at his body, see the graceful structures under mah caresses, but ah couldn't tear mah eyes away from his. They were glowin' brightly, and ah realized with some bewilderment that it was me. Ah was makin' them glow. Ah liked the thought of that.
Mah hands drifted lazily back down in the other direction, lower, savorin' each sensation, the rise and fall of his chest to his stomach…ah refused to let mah tendency to blush melt mah resolve as ah gently stroked the ridges of his hips. His eyes burned the brighter, but ah realized his hands had stopped, mesmerized by mah touch.
Ah took his hand, where it rested on mah throat, and brought his fingahs to mah lips, kissin' them gently. Ah knew what ah wanted to do next, but ah knew ah couldn't do it without blushin'. So ah kissed him hard, and moaned when he made the kiss deeper. Ah managed to hold mah intention, however, as ah pulled his hand back down against mah throat…mah collar…and lower…
Remy jumped up and away from me like he'd been stung by a hornet.
"Absolument pas!" He spat as he paced furiously up and down the dock, his departure and changed disposition so abrupt it left me reelin', scramblin' to get mah feet under me.
Once ah did, ah backed away from him unconsciously. Remy tracked mah movements with a pained expression, "Don' do dat! Don' make me wan' to come over dere!"
Ah was flummoxed and strugglin' to respond, "You don't have to do anythin' you don't want to."
Remy turned and glared at me venomously, "You know well enough dat I wan' to. I never wanted any woman, any t'ing as bad as I wan' you. Yo' burning me up and s' cruel." He threw a punch in the air in frustration as he turned back away from me, pacin' back and forth. "Not like dis. Not as a goodbye. Yo' trying to pay yo' tab and cash out. Settle wit' me. Dis is supposed to be a beginning, not an ending. Gambit's not gon' let you off de hook."
Ah flushed again, but not with desire. Guilt. Ah opened mah mouth and closed it again.
Remy turned back, keepin' his distance but facin' me. His voice was hard, "'Sorry', chere. De word yo' looking fo' is 'sorry'."
"Ah'm sorry," ah offered weakly.
He huffed dismissively, "What kind o' plan is dis? Merde, Rogue."
Ah could only repeat, "Ah'm sorry."
He rushed back over to me, standin' directly in front of me and glowerin' down, "I love you mo' den life itself and you treat me like a worm on hook, turn me any which way you like! S' vicious – brutal!"
Ah remembered, deep down, that he was tryin' to goad me. He did that when he didn't know what else to do. When he was overwhelmed or hurtin'. But he wasn't the only one. And now he had me feelin' exposed and embarrassed.
Ah shouted up into his stupid beautiful perfect face, "Ah said ah'm SORRY! You think ah'm gettin' to have it mah way?! Ah'm sorry the plan didn't work because En Sabah Nur knew about it the whole time! Ah'm sorry ah was the only one who could get the team to the heart! Ah'm sorry yoah the only one with the power to actually blow the dang thing up! And yes, yoah right, ah'm sorry that the only thing ah want with what little time ah have left is YOU!"
Ah was so mad ah shoved him backwards, and he went stumblin' off the side of the dock into the water with a splash that startled us both.
Remy came up sputterin' and cursin' in French, drenched and pitiful. And it was a small miracle. It was so absurd ah couldn't help but laugh, what with the tension. Ah tried to hide mah mouth with my hands as he shot daggers at me, but the angrier he got the sillier he looked, and the harder ah tried not to laugh the worse ah felt the need. It was somethin' near to hysteria.
Finally he leapt up and grabbed mah ankle, pullin' me down in the water after him. It was colder than ah expected and ah got water up mah nose and came up coughin'.
"See how you like it," he spat, but his voice was moah petulant than furious.
"Ah'm- cough – sorry – cough choke cough- sorry Remy."
"Quit saying dat. You don' mean it."
Ah raised one fingah to get mah voice back. After a few moah sputters and gasps ah finally managed a solid inhale.
"No Remy. Ah do mean it. Ah am sorry. None of this is what ah wanted. And ah do love you, but ah can be selfish too. Lovin' me has been hard on ya. Ah'm sorry foah that."
Remy's gaze was measured. He wasn't shoah whether he wanted to keep fightin' or not, "Made me half insane, being away from you."
Ah kept his gaze, and answered sincerely, "Ah'm so sorry."
He watched me one moah moment, then sighed heavily and pulled me into his arms. His closeness washed me in relief and ah put mah head on his shoulder.
"How de hell did we end up here?" he asked no one in particular.
"One step at a time, sugah."
"No, really. Dis is a sick joke. I love you. You love me. Yo' de only one who can get me dere, I'm de only one who can blow him up. What even is dis?"
Ah drew back to look him in the face, "It seems that way, if it's just you and me. But it's not."
Remy pulled back and gave me a cynical expression, "You gon' do an Xmen speech right now?"
Ah grinned at him, "Maybe."
"I am not feeling receptive."
"Could ah at least give you the cliff notes?"
He sighed, "I've never been able to stop you up to now."
Ah put mah arms back around his neck and leaned forward to kiss him. Ah was so thankful to Jean, that ah could. The sensation of kissin' Remy LeBeau is worth an awful lot of heartache.
When ah finally managed to pull back from him, he looked at me dreamily, "Hell of a speech. Bravo. Encore."
He leaned toward me again, but against all mah desires ah put a hand on his chest to stop him, waitin' foah his eyes to meet mine again.
"Ah am so, so proud of you."
His face turned serious again as he waited foah me to continue.
"Ah do not know how you resisted whatever it was he put you through. Ah haven't seen much, but Remy…what you did should have been impossible. There should have been nothin' left of you. You should have become Death. But you held onto yoahself, and you did it by bein' the one thing En Sabah Nur isn't and could never be. A hero."
Remy's mouth pressed into a hard line and he looked down, "I don' deserve dat."
"Yes. You do. And it's because of you that we're gonna save the hundreds of souls that are stuck here. People with lives and loves, maybe even loves like ours. It's not that this happened to us, Remy. It's that we were made foah this."
Ah put mah hands to either side of his face, forcin' his eyes to mine, "Ah am so lucky to get to love somebody like you."
His eyes immediately brimmed, "Stop dis."
Ah felt frustration, "Why do you do that? Why can't you accept what ah'm sayin'?"
He didn't answer but set his jaw and looked down.
Ah pulled his gaze back up to mine, sighin' heavily, "Sugah, you've done yoah part. You've been unselfish. You've done the impossible. Now it's mah turn. There is no other way. Let me be the kinda woman who could match."
He shoved away from me, "What's de point if yo' never coming back?!"
"Who said anythin' about me not comin' back?" That stopped him, left him fumblin' foah words. "Ah don't know what's gonna happen next, but if not now, then later. Whatever comes next, ah'm gonna be fightin' mah way back to you."
Remy rolled his eyes, "Stop tryin' to soften dis wit' platitudes and cliches. I am not doing dis!"
Ah sighed and turned to climb back onto the dock. He followed me, and we both sat, drippin'. Ah watched the sun sinkin', merciless in it's steady descent. Ah leaned into him, puttin' mah head back on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around me. Ah wanted as much of him as ah could get.
"Ok Remy. You win."
He jerked his head over in surprise and suspicion.
"Ah'm promotin' you to field leader. You call the shots. Tell me what you want me to do."
"Don' be like dis."
"Like what?"
He shrugged me off him, "Dis isn't a joke, Anna!"
"Ah'm not jokin'. In fact ah'd be tickled pink if you came up with some alternative. Whatcha got?" Ah waited.
Ah saw him look down, runnin' the numbers, like Cyclops had done, like ah had done.
"What happens when de door breaks?" his voice was tactical, so ah responded in kind.
"Uncertain. En Sabah Nur seems to think ah'd become a horseman-," Remy's eyes jumped up to mah face in horror, and ah tried to make mah voice moah gentle, "But we know he can't be trusted. Based on my past experience with Carol Danvers, it's likely to be a mental battle foah control of mah body, at least."
"What if we fought him togeddah?"
"Neither of us are psychics. Odds are real bad."
"What if you expelled me and I fought in de physical world?"
"We could try, but yoah gonna have a hard time killing him without killing me. And when he took you over, you got new abilities. No tellin' whether ah would be the same."
He kept thinkin', his face set in it's rare serious expression, "What if you expelled me, then I lured you away to a safe distance, then came back and blew up de heart?"
"By yoahself? Now that he knows our objective?"
"Dere's got to be somet'ing, chere!" Remy jumped up and started pacin' again, agitated.
Ah pulled mah knees up and hugged them to mah chest, turnin' mah eyes back toward the sun as it dragged our time away.
So far, this adventure had demanded of me the very thing ah hated to do. Feel. It was violence. It hurt. But it was mah last chance to do it, if ah was gonna.
"Do you think ah'm not scared?"
Remy stopped in his tracks and spun toward me, face twisted.
"Ah'm scared Remy. Scared to death. Ah don't want to die."
He dove toward me and pulled me into his arms, "Yo' not gon' die, chere. I'm gon' save you."
"How are you gonna do that? Either you take me, or En Sabah Nur will."
"We've come dis far, dere's got to be a chance!"
Ah smiled at him, but mah vision blurred, "Yoah a man of faith after all. Always believe in that outside chance."
"And you? Yo' jus' gon' give up?" Remy's voice started to rasp.
Ah put mah head against his chest. Ah wanted to listen to his heartbeat. It was fast.
"Ah don't wanna fight," ah said honestly, "ah just wanna be with you."
Remy didn't answer. We sat silently foah time. Ah took a deep breath and let mahself feel. Feel bein' with him. Feel lovin' him. Feel him lovin' me.
Ah climbed into his lap and put mah arms around his waist. He cradled me. He was everythin' good and right.
"I can feel it. Here…I can feel it. Feel you. Yo' not alone. Haven't been fo' a long time, chere. I been wit' you, even when you can' feel it."
Ah wished ah could stay here forever. Mah voice came out unsteady, "You know…you and me…we got somethin' real here. But we also got some things we got to do better."
Remy ran his fingahs through mah hair, waitin' foah me to go on. Ah took a deep breath. "Ah do love you. Ah adore you. Ah want good things foah you. To be a good thing foah you. But ah also want you to touch me. To light me up, bring me to life. Make me real, and present. But that's not foah you to do. When ah try to make ya, it all goes haywire. That's somethin' ah gotta do foah myself."
He listened intently as ah tried to put words to mah feelin's. "I been trying to lure you out since I laid eyes on you, Anna."
Ah leaned back to smile at him, "Ah like that. Hearin' you use mah name. Ah didn't think ah would, but ah do."
"I never t'ought you would trust me enough to let me have it. S' my treasure."
Mah smile faded a little, "And that's yoah piece. Trust. Forgiveness."
Remy closed his eyes. Ah waited foah him to come back. When he did, ah continued, "Ah know you love me. But you think if you can get mah trust it'll make you trustworthy. If you can get mah forgiveness then you'll be forgivable. You think ah can make you good again. Sugah, god knows ah would if ah could. Ah've tried! But Remy, all that belongs to you. You got to look back at all those awful stories and find some compassion foah yoahself. And then you gotta decide foah yoahself to be a good man."
His eyes burned down at me, softly glowin'. It took him some time to answer, "How we gon' work on all o' dat, seeing as yo' asking me to end you jus' as soon as we get back?"
"Ah'm not askin' you to end me. Ah'm not even askin' you to end En Sabah Nur. Ah'm asking you to protect these people. Protect the team. This is the only way."
Remy gathered me to him and held me close. His arms trembled. "I wan' to do what you ask. I wan' to. But dieu, femme, I only came here to protect you. What will I do wit' a whole safe world yo' not in?"
Ah wanted to give him hope. Ah didn't know if that was kindness or cruelty. Selfishness or care. In the end, ah had to help him do what must be done.
"There is a chance, you know, that Logan will make it. If he does, ah might."
Remy waited, considerin', "You don' believe dat," he stated matter-of-factly.
"No. Ah think it's moah likely that he'll wake up in his own skin as soon as it happens. Ah hope so."
"What if he doesn?"
"Then ah think the next most likely is we'll both go. But ah don't know foah certain. There is a chance we might make it. If we don't try, nobody makes it. There's no savin' me, Rem, apart from this one shot in the dark."
We sat quietly foah a while, and ah felt dread start to build. Ah tried to ignore it, stay in this moment just a little longer, but time was runnin' out. Remy hooked a fingah under mah chin, pullin' mah eyes up to his. His expression broke mah heart.
"You got to promise me. Promise me yo' gonna make it. You got to believe in dat outside chance. Faith is wort' somet'ing."
"Ah'll try mah very best."
"PROMISE."
He knew as well as ah did that there was no way to promise. But he needed to hear it. And it was a promise ah sorely wished ah could keep.
Why did he have to be here, beggin' foah empty promises? He deserved so much moah.
He waited foah me, and finally tears started spillin' down his face. Ah loved that face. It made me cry too, seein' it so crushed. Apparently cryin' was just a thing ah did now.
"Ok Remy. Ah will if you will. You got to promise me yoah gonna make it too."
He kissed mah forehead, mah cheeks, mah mouth. Finally he let mah hands greedily explore him again. Ah pressed them to his chest, held his face, wrapped them in his hair, and finally twisted them up in his hands.
Ah kissed a trail down his jaw and to his lips. "Ah promise ya, Remy."
His voice came out a ragged whisper, "Promise you, Anna."
The sun touched the trees.
The noise of the pit was jarrin' after the quiet of the lake. It had only been a second. Jean's shield still glimmered overhead. The orange glow of the Phoenix still wrapped around me like a fiery robe, castin' a strange dance of light and shadows. The pain of holdin' the gate open was puttin' stars in mah vision, but ah held as tightly as ah could. Ah needed it open. Ah knew En Sabah Nur was nearly through the door. Now or never.
Ah could still see Gambit with mah wakin' eyes, though not fully solid. His eyes met mine. We didn't speak, but stepped towards each other, twistin' our hands together as they had been a moment ago, in that other place. Ah couldn't feel him here, but it didn't matter.
We lowered ourselves to our knees, and even though ah was still scared, his eyes gave me strength, gave me hope. Ah was glad he was here.
He gave one quick kiss to the back of mah knuckles, and then we placed our hands on the bedrock.
It lit up pink. And then mah eyes went wide as ah felt the most incredible rush of power.
Ah had no idea of what he was capable. Ah had no idea he had been holdin' back this much all this time. It was a flood, a downpour, a torrent as it rushed down into the stone, searchin' and seekin' it's prey.
Mah hands shook as the power gushed out of them in a seemingly endless tide. Gambit's eyes lit up, and ah could see in their reflection that mine did too.
Ah felt the final impact as the door holdin' back En Sabah Nur finally gave way in mah mind, and ah gasped as ah realized we were too late. But orange wings reached around from behind, envelopin' me and Gambit, and ah chose to believe in the outside chance. Jean could hold him. We would make it.
Ah last, the power happened upon a throbbin' barrier of somethin' organic. The heart.
Gambit's power rushed out all the moah urgently, stretchin' and pullin' and thrashin' it's way out, it's desperation violent. Ah found it hard to breathe.
It surrounded the heart, could feel it racin' on all sides. Massive. Terrified.
And then the glow turned from pink to black. Usin' his own power against him. A death charge. A charge that wasn't limited only to what was inorganic. It invaded the panicing' chambers of that awful heart, devoured each beat.
Gambit caught mah eyes one moah time. He didn't speak, but we were of one mind. We knew.
And then he let me go.
As he vanished, ah didn't even have time to feel relief. Ah didn't hear anythin'. Ah didn't see anythin'.
It ended.
20