She hung up, even though I had a lot more to say. I wanted to tell her about how I felt and how she didn't try to come and see Kiko in these two years. After that call, when Kiko was napping, I called Mako over because I needed someone to talk to about it all. Mako, surprisingly, was free that day and she came right over. "If she calls again, I'm not going to answer that phone." I told her, to which she looked at me and asked why.
"Why?"
"Because, it won't matter, that's why, Mako."
"How won't it matter? She asked about Kiko, didn't she?"
"Yes, she did and, honestly, I shouldn't have answered because why in holy hell would she even think about the kid she left me with?"
"Because she loves her..."
"Yeah, well, she doesn't love her enough because, if she truly and honestly cared, she would be doing everything that I'm doing or, at least, have bothered to visit her during those two years."
"Hmm, I guess you're right but she probably has a reason for what she did."
"Like what?"
"Oh, maybe because, when she found out she was pregnant, she was scared, maybe the dad's not in the picture, and she didn't know what else to do. I mean, she isn't married."
"Yeah, but to make me do everything she's supposed to do?! I'm young, too, and no one asked me to do this but those things don't matter because my sunshine needs me. The whole thing to do with my sunshine and me is really unfair."
I told her that how come Sis doesn't seem to love as much as I do? How come she got to go out and act like nothing's changed and then want to call all of a sudden, when she didn't do a damn thing besides send checks? I asked a lot of questions but, mostly, I told Mako, "This isn't too much about me but I can tell you one thing, Kiko is the reason why this whole thing is unfair. She's just a baby and I barely know anything about being a mommy but I know damn well that what Sis is doing isn't anything a mommy would do."
"Not all moms are the same, Ryuuko-chan."
"No, they aren't but I know how a mom should be."
"Well, of course, moms bend over backwards and do everything so their kids can be happy but maybe she has reasons for not doing what you do."
"I think my point is that Sis laid down with someone and now both Kiko and I gotta pay for it but Kiko especially."
"Oh."
"Sis is selfish, in simple terms."
I was close to breaking down before I heard Kiko say, "Momma?" She was confused and not sure what to do but there's a reason she's my sunshine because she ran over to me and got me in a hug, holding onto me for dear life. I held onto her, too, and told, "It's okay, Sunshine, I'll make sure everything's okay and that they'll always be okay." Mako was watching the whole thing, while I told Kiko I loved her more than anything and that nothing bad's going to happen.