Chapter 5
bold: mind control/ hypnosis
Italics: telepathy, or internal dialogue
"Italics": Gallifreyan translated into english
Ash, you're safe… I've got you… I'll keep the nightmares away, the Doctor tells her. He'd been worrying about Ash when he felt her terror and instinctively snuffed out the nightmare. Only afterwards did he think it would have been a good idea to spend the half second needed to know what the nightmare was about. Nevertheless, he smiled as Ash snuggled into the comforter and her breathing slowed. Mission accomplished.
Too bad he couldn't relax. The Doctor's mind raced: even assuming she's close to Gallifreyan, how can I possibly raise her alone? A child though! I need to get in the Tardis to do a complete scan. I don't even know what she is now. There's a reason only Timelords ever left Gallifrey. And very few Timelords at that. It's not safe. Just us left. It's going to be impossible…
In an effort to distract himself, the Doctor headed to the kitchen to make some tea. He checked on the Tardis on the way, but she was still repairing herself from the trip between universes and wouldn't let him in.
…
"Time to get up!" the Doctor said to Ash as he walked back into Rose's room. He'd felt her awakening and was eager to show her the new Tardis.
"Uh." was all the response he got before he threw off the comforter, took her hand and pulled her out of bed.
"Come on."
"Bathrooooom." Ash whined rubbing sleep out of her eyes.
"Yes. Yes. Hurry up. There's something I need to show you." He said, rocking heel to toe in excitement.
The bathroom reminded Ash of just how frustratingly small she was now. The toilet was workable, but the sink was a challenge. She tried balancing with one foot on the toilet seat and stretching to reach the faucet, but slipped.
"Ash?" the Doctor said when he heard the crash. He quickly entered the room and nearly tripped over a sprawled Ash.
"I'm fine. I'm good. I just… ummm… slipped." Ash said with a sheepish grin.
"You can ask for help, you know." The Doctor said as he scanned her for injuries and helped her reach the sink.
…
"She's changed, hasn't she?" Ash said as they approached the Tardis.
"Yep! Let's go see what she's got for you."
"For me?"
The Doctor just smiled and waggled an eyebrow.
"Cool. Wait, did you sneak a peek without me?" Ash asked, pausing before the door.
"She wouldn't let me." The Doctor said with a pout.
"Hahahah… she likes ME better!" Ash said as she pulled the door open and ran inside.
The Doctor followed Ash inside and immediately noticed that the Tardis had, to some extent, childproofed herself. There was a new, lower chair with an automatic seat belt harness system, the railings had a new middle bar, and the balcony had a solid but transparent railing. In fact, the balcony was now a sort of child zone complete with comfy cushions, a bookcase full of books, and various play areas full of toys and building blocks and art supplies.
"Ahhhhhh!" Ash yelled as she raced up the ladder to the balcony. "This is awesome!" She said as she flopped on one of the cushions. Unable to sit still for very long, she jumped up and raced around to the far end, looking not unlike a puppy with the zoomies.
"There's more." The Doctor said after getting an update from the Tardis. "Want to go check out your new room?"
"YES!" Ash yelled as she slid down the optimally located fireman's pole and took off down the corridor to her room. The Doctor put the Tardis in the vortex before following more sedately, whistling contentedly, worries forgotten and happier than he'd been in a very long time.
By the time the Doctor reached Ash's room, she'd somehow already made a mess.
…
"You need a bath." The Doctor told Ash after they'd finished oohing and awwing over her room.
She smelled her armpit, "No I don't."
"Come on." he said with a shake of his head. He opened the door to a comfortably child sized bathroom and began running a bath. Ash stripped off and hoped in.
"I can do this myself." She said, reaching backwards for the soap. Unfortunately she slipped and slid under the water.
After a second of watching Ash flail, the Doctor lifted her back into a sitting position with a smirk. "Of course you can."
Ash harrumphed and slapped her hands down, splashing the Doctor. He responded by pushing her back underwater. Chaos ensued.
…
Finished with her bath and wrapped in a cozy towel, Ash contemplated her new wardrobe. Wide eyed with excitement, she turned to look at the Doctor, only to start giggling as she saw him struggling to take off his soaked suit jacket and shirt.
"Don't suppose there's anything in there that will fit me." He commented.
"Nope. It's ALL for me!" Ash replied, shuffling through the clothing until she found a pair of blue tights, a short frilly purple skirt and a black cookie monster t-shirt. Once dressed, she ROARed, grabbed the Doctor's hand and pulled him towards the door yelling. "I need the biscuit sandwiches with the jam!"
"You mean Jammie Dodgers?"
"Yes! Jammie Dodgers. Hurry. I'm dying!" Ash said as she and the Doctor sprinted down the corridor to the kitchen.
After stuffing two whole biscuits in her mouth, Ash began spinning around the kitchen table. "Why-"
"Swallow first. Then talk."
Ash made exaggerated swallowing motions for a good thirty seconds before continuing, "-are we in the vortex?"
"How do you know we are?" The Doctor asked, confused. Even he couldn't sense that from inside the Tardis.
"I can feel it. It's different. We left Jackie's flat while I was going to see my new room." Ash answered, reaching for another biscuit.
The Doctor slapped her hand away, "Two is enough for now." and answered Ash's question, "I just wanted to park the Tardis OUTSIDE of Jackie's flat before she gets up. Don't want to give her any reason to slap me again."
"She slapped you!?" Ash said before climbing onto the Doctor's lap and grabbing his face. She inspected both sides and frowning said, "Must not have been that hard."
"It was a long time ago." he said, feeling uncharacteristically outraged at the memory. He stood with an arm wrapped around Ash's chest, leaving her dangling.
Ash kicked her feet but was unable to make contact with the Doctor, who somehow, managed to swing her around and was holding her upside down by her feet with one hand.
"Hey! Put me down!" Ash demanded while weakly punching at the Doctor's legs. But the Doctor continued to hold her upside down as he left the kitchen and headed down a corridor away from the console room.
"Ahhh! Please!" Ash begged. "I think I'm going to throw up. You walk too bouncy." She said while holding onto one of legs to keep herself from swinging.
"I walk too bouncy! What does that even mean? Now this is bouncy!" the Doctor replied. He tickled her to get her to let go of his leg then tossed her in the air and caught her by the feet again several times as she scream-giggled before letting her down.
"My turn." Ash cried, leaping at the Doctor. She valiantly tried to pick him up, but ended up collapsed on the floor, panting. The Doctor joined her and they spent several minutes rolling around on the floor in a large tickle ball.
Once they'd both caught their breath, the Doctor helped Ash up and guided her down a corridor she hadn't seen before. She's in a good mood. Now's a good time to get her in for a scan.
"Where are we going?" Ash asked.
He looked down at Ash to gauge her reaction and said, "Medbay."
Ash's eyes opened wide and she yanked her hand from his. "NO!" she yelled, hands fisted and stomping her foot.
The Doctor frowned at the suddenly tense, obstinate child standing in front of him. She's gone from happily skipping along to this in the blink of an eye.
"Oh Yes you will." He said. How dare she defy me? Me! She's an infant!
The Doctor was surprised by his uncharacteristically strong response and took a few deep breaths while continuing to stare down at the furious little child.
The Doctor took a final deep breath and spoke. "Ash, since the last time I was able to scan you, you've died, regenerated, lost consciousness several times, traveled to a parallel universe and back, phased out of time to avoid a cyberman, somehow killed a squad of cybermen with a small power crystal, have forgotten English, and can now speak Gallifreyan. I'm justified in being concerned." he said, frustration growing with each item he listed.
Ash ignored him and turned away, intending to go back to her room, but the Doctor grabbed her by the arm and pulled hard.
He instantly found himself fighting overwhelming emotion. Fear. Hatred. Intransigence. He wanted to lash out, to hurt as waves of fury flowed through him. He was losing the fight for control but in a far corner of his mind he realized that the emotions were coming from Ash and was able to grind out a command to sleep before he lost all sense of who he was.
The onslaught instantly stopped and the Doctor slid down the wall in relief. What was that? He asked himself. His mental shielding had been useless. He'd been completely swamped by Ash's emotions, the emotions of an unstable toddler.
He picked up Ash and carried her to the medbay thinking back and wondering how much of her emotions she'd been projecting since she woke up? How much of what he'd been feeling had been him?
He placed Ash in stasis before heading to the library in search of answers. He remembered learning about empaths at the academy and he had a vague memory of a sort of reverse empath being theoretically possible. And something about how they'd be incredibly dangerous. At least it was a place to start.
…
Having little luck in finding any concrete information in the library, he decided to go check on Rose. He stopped by the medbay to make sure Ash was still out before sending the Tardis to the Powell Estates courtyard less than a minute after they'd left.
He entered Jackie's flat to find her and Rose sitting in the kitchen nursing mugs of tea. A bottle of paracetamol lay open on the table. They were both holding their heads in one hand and slowly stirring their tea with the other with their eyes barely open.
"Rough night?" The Doctor asked.
They simultaneously looked at him as though contemplating murder.
"Right then." he said, backing out of the kitchen while surreptitiously scanning them with his sonic.
They clearly both had very bad headaches, the question was why. They weren't hungover, or dehydrated, or hungry. They had no head injuries. There was nothing physically wrong with either of them.
The Doctor paced, taping his sonic against his thigh. No. It couldn't be. Could it? Noooo… He thought to himself before peeking back into the kitchen for another quick scan. It can't be. Seriously. It's impossible. Psychic damage, sort of a concussion of the mind rather than the brain. How could she have… She was asleep! I would have noticed. I should have noticed!
The Doctor flopped into a chair and ran his hands through his hair. This is bad.
…
Some time later, the Doctor reentered the kitchen. "Here. Try this. Timelord headache medicine, much stronger." He said holding two pills in his hands. He had returned to the Tardis and formulated a medication that would repair the damage to their minds, albeit slowly. He suspected neither would be willing to let him into their minds so that he could quickly heal them. Besides, that would require him explaining what was going on.
He retreated back to the Tardis needing to find a solution. He couldn't leave Ash in stasis. But he also couldn't let her control his emotional responses or cause harm to Rose.
Once back in the medbay, the Doctor looked over the results of his deep scan. Ash was now around 5% human, 92% gallifreyan and 3% tardis coral. Her brain was structured unlike anything he'd seen before, full of inherently unstable positive feedback loops that could cause instability and rapidly spiraling emotional meltdowns. Unfortunately, since Ash was in stasis, the scan was unable to provide detail on her psychic abilities and the Doctor needed that data.
…
"What's this even doing in here?" the Doctor asked the Tardis as he picked up an odd device that had been given to him many many years ago by his smelly godmother. He was cleaning out the Zero Room, a room that was cut off from the rest of the universe, hoping he could wake Ash inside of it and complete his scan of her mind without endangering anyone.
…
Several hours of tinkering later, and a short conversation with Rose recommending she rest, the Doctor had the Zero Room set up to evaluate Ash. He carried her to the room, laid her on the floor and retreated. Everything had been set to automatically wake her, run the scans and put her back in stasis.
…
Ash woke alone in a stark and empty room. Her first thought was that it was one of those padded psych ward rooms, but the walls weren't actually padded. She had no recollection of how she'd gotten in there and was struggling to remember what the last thing she's been doing was.
HA. It was eating Jammy Dodgers. She thought. Wait… no the Doctor was swinging me around upside down… and then…
"Doctor!" Ash yelled. When there was no response, she started banging on the walls and looking for a door.
…
The Doctor's heart sank as he stared at the results of the scan and he began pacing around the console room arguing with himself.
Okay. I can do this. Put a shield around her brain that no psychic energy can penetrate. Of course I'll have to be constantly maintaining it.
Constantly! It's impossible. I'll exhaust myself and the barrier will crumble.
It is possible. Put her in stasis when she's sleeping. Give yourself a break.
Seriously?
Temporary fix. I'll figure out a better plan. Just need to buy some time and I can't just leave her in stasis.
This isn't going to end well.
It will. It has to. He concluded before making his way back to the Zero Room.
He verified Ash was still in stasis before entering. Stepping into the room, he took a deep breath and changed Ash's status to being in a deep sleep. Even with her asleep he could still feel a pressure on his mind and he was surprised he hadn't noticed it before.
He sat next to her, placed his fingers at her temples and entered her mind. Three hours later he stood up. He'd painstakingly created a shield that was self repairing as long as he maintained his concentration. Fortunately, he was able to concentrate on multiple things at once. But it would still be exhausting.
He carried Ash to her room, removed her memory of the Zero Room, planted a memory of taking a nap, and woke her.
"How are you feeling?" the Doctor asked.
Ash stretched and threw off the covers. "Good I guess. Must have been really sleepy because I barely remember getting into bed."
"That you were."
…
After settling Ash into her space on the balcony in the Console Room, the Doctor returned to Jackie's flat to talk to Rose. He was as worried as he'd been when he first regenerated that she wouldn't want to travel with him anymore, but he didn't want to hide too much from her.
"Ash has changed Rose. She's not in the process of regenerating anymore and, well, she's different now." the Doctor said as they stood just outside the flat.
"Different how?" Rose asked.
"She emits a sort of psychic energy." he began, "Don't worry! I can keep it totally under wraps." he quickly continued as he saw fear flash across Rose's face. "You'll never even notice. Totally unnoticeable. I just wanted you to know. That and well… she's a child. A very young child. And Gallifreyan children aren't exactly like human ones. Some things are going to have to happen on her schedule. There may be times when we need to stay in the Tardis for a day or two…"
"Doctor," Rose began, resting an arm on his shoulder, "I get that. It's just, I'm not a babysitter, right. And I'm nowhere near ready to be a parent. So, as long as you take care of all… that." she said, waving her arms, "I'm so ready to get out of here."
"I could shield your mind, you know. Prevent any chance of Ash affecting you." The Doctor told Rose.
"No way." Rose answered, turning away from the Doctor and running her hand along the railing. "...if she did though, you know, affect me… What would happen?"
"Umm, a bit of a headache?" The Doctor lied.
"You've got meds for that ya?"
"Yes. Yes. Or course." the Doctor answered. He was unsurprised that she didn't want him to shield her. Rose had never been comfortable with the idea of anything 'getting in her head'.
…
Three days passed with some degree of normalcy. The Tardis was able to make sure Ash's various needs were taken care of when the Doctor wasn't around and the Doctor was able to maintain his concentration when they were separated. Rose did her best to pretend Ash didn't exist and Ash and the Tardis invented all sorts of games to play.
Ash remained unaware the Doctor moved her into the Zero room while she slept so that he could take a break. And The Doctor stubbornly refused to acknowledge his growing fatigue. Rose however could tell he was more tired than she'd ever seen him.
"Is something wrong Doctor?" Rose asked. She was watching the Doctor perform maintenance on the Tardis in the Console Room while Ash ran around the balcony pretending to be a pterodactyl.
"Nope. You know me. I'm always alright." The Doctor said, poking his head up from under the grating.
"I'm not stupid Doctor." Rose replied, sitting next to him. "You're doing something aren't you? Something to keep Ash… I don't know… safe?"
"It's complicated and I'm fine!" The Doctor said, standing. "How about a trip?" He walked to the monitor and hit a few keys. "Ooooh, this looks like a good one. Ash hold on!"
But the Doctor soon lost control.
"Doctor! What's happening?" Rose yelled. The Doctor was spinning from one control to the next, flipping switches and spinning dials to no effect.
"I don't know. The Tardis, she's doing it on her own. I can't stop it!" He replied, resorting to whacking the console with a mallet.
Ash stopped playing to watch the action from her perch on the balcony. She giggled. Wonder where she wants to go?
The Tardis landed roughly.
"Where are we?" Rose asked. But the monitors were blank, leaving the Doctor scratching his head.
"Let's go find out." He said with a grin; Rose was already halfway to the door.
The Doctor turned when he heard a sharp intake of breath from Ash. She was fading and slipping through the floor of the balcony. He raced towards her, but he was a fraction of a second too late. The Tardis had dematerialized without her.
"Doctor?" Rose said, looking at the unusually still and silent Doctor. This seemingly broke him out of shock and he reached for the now fully functional console and began typing.
"Doctor." Rose repeated, concerned about his eerily calm demeanor. She walked to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, but he shook her off.
"Where is she!" he demanded in Gallifreyan but the Tardis wouldn't even admit they'd landed.
Rose jumped back when he punched the console hard enough to split his knuckles, but quickly returned to his side. "What's going on Doctor? Where is Ash?" She whispered.
"She's gone." he said without turning to face her. "She's gone. She's not even here any more." he continued, taping his head.
"Well, we'll just have to find her then." Rose said, carefully touching the Doctor on the shoulder.
The Doctor spun to face her, "How Rose? She could be anywhere in the universe. Any timezone. Any location. And I don't even have a place to start!" He yelled. "So how? How am I supposed to find her?"
Rose took a step back. The Doctor seemed more angry, more desperate than she'd ever seen him before.
"I'm sorry." He said before taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry." He turned back to face the console, closed his eyes and tried to calm himself.
…
Ash landed roughly, falling to the ground with a bit of a roll as her feet hit loose rocks. She looked around, confused. Where did the Tardis go? She thought to herself, not overly concerned by the odd situation. At least not until a woman appeared about 10 feet from her in a flash of light that left Ash feeling… odd.
Ash noticed a blaster on her hip and started to back up.
"Hello Ellie." The woman said. She spoke with a soft voice that somehow still carried well.
Ash tripped and landed on her bum. "Who are you?"
The woman removed her helmet revealing a large amount of curly hair. She then cracked her neck and briefly shut her eyes. "Wow. He was right about you." she said before replacing her helmet. "That is intense."
"Who are you?" Ash asked again.
"Spoilers." River replied, laughing.
…