/Temari/
My head hurts and the sounds of machinery enter my ears, making the situation even worse. I try to open my eyes, but the brightness doesn't allow it, I have to blink several times until I adjust.
- Daughter, you're back! – my father gets up abruptly surprising me - God, you're back! - he doesn't hold back his tears as he speaks.
I try to answer him, but my throat is so dry that no words come out.
- I'll call the nurse, I'll be right back. - he says, leaving the room.
I realise where I am, in the hospital. The flash of light is all I remember seeing before I woke up here, from my condition it can't have been that serious, I'm in little pain which is a good sign, but I have tubes helping me breathe. It's hard to know how long I've been here, but as I look around and see nothing but an empty bed, I start to worry about Tenten's condition, by the light it's already morning, is she in an operating room? I'll never forgive myself if something happens to her!
- Miss Sabaku, you're finally back. - The nurse says, making me even more confused - Drink some water, it will help a lot. - she offers me a glass, which I drink quickly, I really was thirsty.
- How's Tenten? - I ask in a low, hoarse voice.
- She's fine, she has been discharged, she'll come and see you as soon as she can! - my father assures me.
- She was discharged so quickly? - I ask puzzled.
- You have been unconscious for four days. – the nurse says leaving me at a loss of words - You underwent emergency surgery on a cut on your stomach to remove the glass and needed stitches on the forehead, which will heal fine, don't worry, apart from a fracture on the arm. Nothing too serious for a head-on collision.
- Your mum and brothers don't know anything yet, I wanted your opinion before I told them. - my father says and I just nod. I'm not really thinking about it at the moment.
Another nurse arrives and they do some quick tests and remove some tubes from my arm, promising to come back with a doctor in a few hours for a full examination of my condition.
After a few minutes the door opens again and the last person I expected to see comes through the door with a worried look on his face.
- I'll leave you two alone, I believe you have a lot to talk about! - my father stood up as soon as he saw him. If I hadn't been so dazed by the last 20 minutes, I might have been able to react as well.
- I really thought I was going to lose you! - Shikamaru says and I can only stare in his direction without knowing how to react - I think the universe loves to remind me that we only realise how stupid we are when it's too late! - please don't let this be a confession of love - And how much you love someone only when you've lost them! - I can't believe it when he says the words, I must still be drugged and delirious - I think at least this time I've been given a second chance! - he approaches my bed and I feel I owe him an answer, anything. But my body is tired and my head is even more tired.
- I thought you weren't coming. - I say sincerely and with effort – You were the first to show up. - I admit my surprise
- Your father called me and I came running, I've been here every day Tem! I couldn't stand the sight of you, but I couldn't not know if you were going to get better! - his words hurt and warm my heart at the same time.
- Did my father call you? He's not supposed to know who you are. - I express my confusion, I've never mentioned him to my father and I've tried everything to avoid this situation, yet here he is and my father believes he deserves a call to let him know I've woken up and he is here every day, even though he's part of the reason I'm here.
- Tema, I'm being as honest as possible with you, I didn't want to, but the fear of losing you made me realise that I can't live without you! I know I've been stupid to you and you may hate me forever, but I had to tell you! I'm going to leave this letter here, you can read it whenever you want or burn it if you feel like it, but it says everything I can't say, it says who I am, the most naked and true version of me, I didn't want to say goodbye without you knowing it. - he says and puts the letter down beside me on the bed. I'm in enormous inner turmoil and this is too much information for someone who's just woken up after four days.
His words touch my soul, after all, my own feelings towards us have always been such a mess. When he bends down to kiss my forehead, a tear falls down my cheek. Perhaps because of the emotional weight the last few minutes have had on me, or perhaps because in other circumstances I might be able to tell him that I love him too.
- I hope it's not the last, but... goodbye my princess! - he says and dries my tear, then leaves the room without even looking back.
I look at the envelope with my name on it in his handwriting and put it under my pillow. I'll read the letter when I'm better and alone, but for now I'm trying to recover from everything that has just happened.
Who does he think he is, coming here to tell me he loves me after being a complete idiot!
Soon the room fills up with my friends. I'm reassured to see Ten almost intact and I'm grateful for her hug.
The rest come in little by little, all reinforcing the idea that they were afraid I wouldn't wake up or that I wouldn't be the same when I did. It scares me to know that they were afraid, it means that I really shouldn't be in a good state, I'm scared of how I'll be when my body wakes up and the medicines stop working.
My dad will be back when my visits are over and we've decided that when I'm discharged from hospital I'll call my brothers to tell them what happened and they'll decide whether to tell Mum or not, for now we'll just tell them that I'm fine, after all they have already called worried.
- Why did you call Shikamaru? - I ask him what's bothering me.
- Because you can't hide anything from me, I knew you were in love again and when he turned up here very worried to see you I put the pieces of the puzzle together in my head. - he explains calmly, as if it were obvious.
- So it wasn't Kankuro or Tenten who told you? - I ask confused.
- Well, your brother isn't very good at keeping secrets either, but Tenten only gave me his number and name when I asked. - But don't worry, I won't bother you with that. Right now, all I care about is that you recover, then we'll decide if I have to beat up some idiot or not. - he says with a laugh that makes me smile.
- Thanks again!
In the early afternoon the doctor comes to give me a full examination. I'm asked to walk and I don't have much trouble doing it, although my legs are still numb, my stitches are due to be removed on Friday and they want to keep me here for a few more days, at least until I have a CT scan to make sure I'm not bleeding internally.
He wishes me a speedy recovery and leaves me back in the room with my dad. He promised to stay the night and I thanked him, right now I'm scared to be alone.
The days pass slowly, and the food is tasteless. I'm visited every day by my friends and I'm grateful for that, at the moment that's all that's keeping me sane.
- That's it, you're ready to go home! - the nurse says after removing the last stitch from my forehead.
- Good, the two days I've been awake are up, I have to go back to university. - I say cheerfully, I've wasted a whole week here and it's the end of the year and I have to get back to my studies.
- Just don't push yourself too hard, and don't forget to rest. - he says goodbye.
It's already Friday, the CT scan was positive, there were no internal problems, now we just have to get home.
The journey takes a long time because of the impossible traffic in LA, but I'm still in time for dinner.
- Take care of yourself and if you need anything, just call, you know it! - says my father as he drops me off at the door.
- Of course, thank you for everything! - I hug him tightly before entering the house.
- Tema! - I'm greeted by Anko - I'm so glad you're back.
- I know, putting up with Ten isn't easy! - she laughs and I hug her back.
- I love you too! - Tenten says and hugs me too - Anko made us dinner. - she says happily.
- Great, I can't stand hospital food any more! I'm just going to put the bag down in my room and I'll be right with you.
I go up to my room and put my things down on the bed, sorting out what's to be washed and putting the rest away, including the letter that I still haven't got round to reading.
At dinner I'm summarise what I've missed this week and it seems that my accident has brought a lot of people together. I'm going to have to ask Rin for summaries of the lessons, but apart from that everything's fine.
At night, with everything sorted, I try to pluck up the courage to call my brothers. They're worried and have a right to know, but I'm afraid of their reaction. I sit down at my desk in front of my computer and switch on the video call.
- Sabaku no Temari , do you have any idea how worried you've made us? - Kankuro asks after just two rings. Clearly still half asleep, after all, it's morning there.
- I'm sorry, but it was kind of impossible to answer you. Is Mum listening? - I ask quietly.
- I don't think so, she's probably still asleep. Why? What happened? - he asks more quietly this time.
- I had a car accident. - I said and sighed - I was in a coma for four days, so I couldn't answer you.
- God! Don't you know how to be careful? - I roll my eyes at his outrage.
- I'm fine fortunately, I was discharged today, thank you for asking. – I say ironically - And it wasn't my fault, someone didn't respect a stop sign and hit my car, you know I don't even like driving.
- I'm sorry, I'm in shock!
- So you understand why I don't want mum to know. I don't want to put any more stress on her, and neither does Dad. He wanted me to say it, you know he loves you very much too. - I say sadly.
- Yes of course, I agree with your decision, she's still very fragile psychologically, she's not ready for news like that right now, I'm afraid of her reaction. - Gaara confirms my fears.
The conversation takes a lighter turn and we talk about what we've missed this week. It's good to know that their life is going well despite everything, I can't wait to visit them in the summer.
We say our goodbyes after a few minutes, and I head for the shower to go to sleep. I'm looking forward to sleeping in my precious bed.
The weekend seems to be dragging on. Without being able to go to dance class, Hina and I stayed at home to study, or at least I did, I have a lot of reading to do.
On Sunday lunchtime we go out with some friends to the shopping centre and at the end of the day Neji picks up Tenten and Anko goes out with some of her friends.
Alone with my thoughts, I have no choice but to read the damn letter.
It's hidden in my dresser drawer and just my name on the envelope is enough to make me tremble, my fear is consuming me and I don't know what to expect.
I take one last long, shaky breath before opening it.
"Dear Temari Sabaku,
...
Everything depends on you princess and I beg you for a new chance, to start again together.
Forever yours,
Shikamaru Nara"
I finish the letter sobbing so hard. I can't imagine the pain he's been through.
It's sad how the people with the biggest smiles are the most broken.
But above all, I find it hard to believe that he had the courage to tell me everything and how pure and genuine it seemed.
The truth is that I'm not even in an internal conflict, the second he said the words I knew I felt the same way, in fact I think I've known for a long time.
I like to see the current situation as the universe giving me a second chance to live, and who would I be if I didn't follow the signs it gives me. If he loves me and I love him too, why deny it, I have to give love another chance and there's no one better than him to live it with.
I spend the rest of the evening devising a plan for how I'm going to talk to him. He's right, we need to start from scratch and fall in love with the real, fearless versions of each other.
But how can two broken hearts love?!
The alarm clock wakes me up and I quickly get ready and go downstairs for breakfast.
I've barely slept, but the anxiety of what I'm going to do today keeps me awake.
- Good morning, Nurse Anko is ready to serve you! - the Japanese says cheerfully.
- Good morning! I couldn't ask for better care. - I say, sitting down at the table to eat; after all, her cooking is much better than mine and Tenten's.
- I agree. - the brunette says, sitting down next to me - Ready to go back to school? - she asks me.
- Of course, it's sad to admit that I missed it, the last few days have been boring! - I admit - Anko, could you please drop me off at Kiba's house after school? - I ask, and yes, he's completely on board with my plan because I sent him a bunch of messages explaining it in the early hours of the morning, and he approves.
- Why? - asks Ten suspiciously.
- I've got unsolved problems! - I say with a smile and tell them what I have planned, receiving encouragement from both of them to go ahead with it.
The day at school continues happily with our group together again, some of my classmates come to wish me well and it warms my heart, I guess I'm not so invisible after all.
After a full and tiring day, I'm still energised for what I'm going to do, after all, my nerves won't let me calm down. I meet the girls in the car park and we're on our way.
- Good luck! - they both say when I'm dropped off outside the boys' house.
Now that I'm here the fear is taking over, I've been hurt too many times, including by him, but we're both growing up and I have to give it another shot, a real one, to see if my heart wins out against my mind.
I ring the doorbell and wait, either he turns up or nobody comes, those are the options. The seconds seem to last for hours and I wonder if I've been tricked again and I'm just making a fool of myself.
I hear the door open, and his eyes meet mine in surprise. I try to recover all my courage before I speak.
- Hi, I think we need to talk! - he just nods at my sentence and lets me in - So you're Shikamaru Nara?! Not many people talk about you, about the real you! - I'm Temari Sabaku, your cousin's and housemates friend! Nice to meet you. - I hold out my hand and he shakes it without thinking - I'll get straight to the point, ever since I saw you I found you very attractive, I'd like to get to know you better, would you agree to go on a date with me?
- I... well, I think so, Miss Sabaku! - he says a little shakily after a long sigh - The truth is that I also found you very attractive the moment I saw you, I think I'd love to spend time with you. - we both smile because we understand each other so well - But we have a problem, neither of us is fit to drive at the moment, certain events have delayed my physiotherapy.
- You don't have to worry about that! – Kiba says from the top of the stairs -Go get your coat and I'll take you both.
Shikamaru goes up the stairs too fast for someone with a knee injury and comes down at the same pace. We keep quiet about where we're going, but when we arrives he just stares at me.
- The best Italian restaurant in town! - I'm happy to take him to the place where we had our first unofficial date between friends.
- So I hear, shall we go in? - he asks, offering me his arm, which I take without fear.
We're taken to a table and start choosing our food, and with the menus hidding me I can finally sigh and calm my nerves a little. We order our food and are left in an awkward silence that I feel obliged to break.
- So, how did you get into music? - I ask, genuinely curious.
- So that's it, no holds barred! Okay, fine, I'll try to hold it together. - he says before sighing and starting to tell his story.
Talking about trauma as if it were nothing is not easy, and we soon realise that. But around each other it feels natural, we talk endlessly about things we've kept to ourselves and strangely the feeling that predominates is one of freedom. I hope he's feeling that way too and not forced to talk.
We split the bill, with the excuse that I'm an annoying feminist who believes in sharing tasks and costs, he laughs but accepts, partly because he's still afraid that I'll leave and never speak to him again.
- Do you want to go and sit on the bench until Kiba arrives? - I ask, walking towards a stool on the pavement.
- Sure, nothing sounds more romantic to end the evening! - he smiles, taking a seat and putting his arm round my shoulders
- Okay, now I'm going to be really honest. Your letter destroyed me, of course trauma doesn't justify actions, but understanding your side and believing that you want to change, or rather be your true self for me, makes me believe that we can work. – I say and he can't keep his eyes on mine as I speak - The truth is that you're right, I love you too. – I say making him look back at me - And if I'm going to give love another chance, I want it to be with you!
We stared at each other and, with our faces so close, we followed our instinct and kissed. Very different from all the other times, this is a kiss with so much feeling that I can't help but let a tear fall. It's not urgent or fiery, but it's slow and tender.
- You already know everything I have to say, but I love you too. - he says as we separate.
- I can't know what it's like to lose something you cannot get replaced, or to love someone and it goes to waste. What could be worse? - I say still in the middle of the hug - But I will try to fix you.
- And I can't imagine what it's like to be trapped in a relationship like that, so thank you for giving love another chance. But if you never try, you'll never know what you're worth! - he says and dries my tear, it's becoming a routine - The tears stream down your face, and I'll try to fix you too. If we're meant to be, the universe will let us be together, I have faith in that! - the look he gives me makes my heart clench.
I'm so happy, but so scared!
As if scheduled, Kiba arrives just then and takes me home.
- It was a pleasure to have this date, I look forward to the next one! - Shikamaru says as he drops me off at the door.
- I say the same, I loved spending time with you, the real you, or at least part of it. - I admit half embarrassed.
- Anything for you! Sleep well princess. - he kisses me on the cheek and goes back to the car.
I open the door and am surprised to find my housemates still awake - So how was it? – Tenten asks anxiously as I put my bag down on the table.
- It was amazing! - I say with a huge smile on my face - I feel like a teenager in love!
God, if you can hear me, all I ask is that this happiness lasts and that I'm finally happy and loved by the one who deserves me!