Naruto took to the air scanning everywhere to locate Sakura but came empty handed by night time. "I searched the whole village! Where could she be hiding... hey! You there! What are you doing?" Naruto asked as he saw a young black ninja smoking weed from a bong in an alley.
"Would you like some bro? This shit is the bomb!" He said like the hippie he was.
Naruto sighed as he sat down with the young man to talk. "Don't you know how bad drugs are? Weed can make you not have kids anymore!" Naruto said hoping to help the man get off the drugs.
The hippie ninja laughed. "Bro who wants to have kids? It's like uh big responsibility and err boring. You can't have fun with kids around, ya know. C'mon man, get high with me!" The man insisted.
Naruto sighed. "Your gonna be a loser your whole life if you keep doing this."
The man sighed. "It just makes me happy. Life can be sad sometimes bro. Ya know I had a girlfriend and she left me for another guy. Weed heals that wound in my heart!"
"Gosh... I mean I get you, but instead of wasting your life like this, just go find another girlfriend. There are plenty of fish in the sea." Naruto said.
The man smiled. "Your right bro... would you like this gummie are a token of my gratitude... it's a really good gummie." He said grinning.
Naruto smiled. "I love gummy bears. Thank you and I hope you learned a lesson today." Naruto said as he ate the gummy bear.
"Heh heh, Lord Satan will be so happy I accomplished my mission. Now I'm gonna get even more edibles." The hippie said as he walked away into the shadows.
"Huh? Wait... what..." Naruto looked confused as he began to see weird lights. "Hmm... wait... this is weird... what's going on..." Naruto said as he struggled in walking around. "Hinata... help me..."
"Hey Naruto! Ever played music?"
"Who? Who's there?" Naruto asked.
"Me baby..." the voice said.
"Hinata?"
"Do you see the green light?"
"Yes... I do... what is it?"
"It's call, lavate las manos."
"What... wait... is my zipper untied..." Naruto wondered as he looked down to see his pants falling down again.
"Naruto-kun!!! Look at me... do you like what you see?" Sakura asked as she undressed herself in front of him.
"Why is Sakura in my head... this doesn't make any sense to me... Am I high!? Did that guy give me some kind of weed gummy bear... no... that can't be it... or maybe..." Naruto wondered as he stepped into a blue glowing light in front of him.
Sakura then placed her foot on his face. "You've always loved me since we were kids! Admit it!"
"N-No... oh man... your feet are on my face but wait no... this is wrong... she can't really be real... I'm wait..."
"Awe fuck! Yes Naruto! Keep going baby! Ride me all night long!!!"
"No... This can't really be real..."
"NARUTO GIVE ME YOUR BODY!!!" The Nine Tail Fox screamed as he appeared in Naruto's soul cage.
Naruto looked very confused. "Your that demon fox in me... what do you want now?"
"Your high will keep going for hours. Give me access to you and I will end this drug trip."
"Okay yeah! Go ahead."
"Heh heh... thank you... fool." The Fox said as he opened the cage and furiously ate Naruto completely.
"What... did he just eat me!? What's happening now... wait... I'm back on Earth!!!"
Sakura smiled as she put her pink panties back on. "So Naruto... will you give me a kiss now? I promise I'll keep loving your dick forever."
Naruto smirked. "My name is Kurama, not Naruto! Now let me eat your ass."
"Of course baby! You can call yourself whatever you want! I'm pregnant now, so your gonna have to marry me and forget all about Hinata!"
Kurama smiled. "Of course, you slutty pink bitch! Now get over here and give me pleasure! I haven't been alive in years!"
Sakura chuckled. "Woah, your nails got so longer, like a fox."
Kurama smiled. "You shall be my queen and-"
"Now Matthew! Use your lasso!" Michealo yelled as he appeared with his shorter friend Matthew from behind them.
Matthew nodded. "Right away Micheal!" Matthew said as he threw a lasso and it glowed and it gripped Naruto until he fell down roped by it.
"What the hell! I can't move! Impossible! What kind of magic is this!!!" Kurama yelled.
Michealo smirked. "By the power of God, I order you Fox Demon to come out of him now!" Michealo yelled as he pointed his index finger at Kurama and then the nine tailed Fox came right out and appeared back on Earth in the village.
Sakura looked very shocked. "No! It's the nine tailed fox... or am I just so high!?"
Gaara couldn't believe it as he came out of his castle and saw the giant fox. "No... we have to get Trunks!"
Kurama smiled. "I was hoping to stay in possession of Naruto, but this is actually better! I'm going to destroy this whole village and then the world comes next!"
Michealo chuckled. "Dragon Blade!"
Kurama looked shocked as he saw a huge blade the size of himself come out of Michealo's hands. "You are no ordinary human! Who are you?"
"Glad you asked demon! I am Micheal the Archangel and I have been sent to destroy you once in for all! Now die and burn in hell! Demon fox!" Micheal said as he jumped up and stabbed the fox until it began bleeding from it's wound.
"N-No... this can't be..." Kurama said as he was dying. "Heh, at least there is another me inside the girl now..." Kurama said his last words and he died.
Micheal smiled. "Sakura come here."
Sakura looked scared. "What do you want with me angel!"
"By the power of God! Come out of her Satan!" Micheal ordered as he got rid of the demon infecting her mind.
Sakura suddenly fell to her knees. "W-What I have done... I know I wasn't thinking clearly... I can't believe I did all this..."
Micheal smiled. "It's not your fault, the demon was influencing all your actions. You should had really stopped smoking that evil plant."
"Huh? Plant? You mean it wasn't a cigarette?" Sakura asked.
Micheal sighed. "You are with Naruto's second child now. I hope you understand what this means."
Sakura rubbed her tummy. "I had sex with Naruto... I remember... but it doesn't feel like I did it."
"But you did while you were high. However, do not be alarmed. That baby will be a prophet of the lord. He shall be born without any defect by the grace of God. Do never accept things from strangers. Now take Naruto back to his home with Hinata and keep that baby a secret for now. Naruto and Hinata must not know of it until it is born. Do this and God will forgive all your actions today. I must leave now, my lord is calling me back." Micheal said as a nimbus cloud came down from heaven. "Come along Saint Matthew."
"Wait a minute! Please before you go... please explain why weed does this to people! I don't understand any of it!" Sakura said.
Micheal sighed. "Weed was a cursed flower created ages ago by Shamon men and a demon named Shiva. You see Shiva was originally an angel created by God most high, but he joined Satan during the first war in heaven. God casted Satan and all his evil angels to hell. However, then the Earth was created at that same time. Satan, Shiva, Buddha, Beerus, Lilth, Kurama and many others came to Earth in their spirit form. Satan took the form of a serpant. Kurama the form of a fox. Beerus the form of a dog beast. Buddha the form of an eye ball. And Shiva waited a few thousand years before he entered into one of the humans who worshipped the demons. You see demons can take many forms, but only Shiva decided to actually wait before he would take his own. He now lives inside the weed after his death. Anyone who smokes weed is then able to tap into the spirit realm and many become lost in it. Shiva may also possess the user if they allow him. You did not allow him, but you awakened another demon. This one was Buddha, the all seeing eye. He was the one I just casted out of you. He was playing games in your head, making you very hungry and lustful. He was playing with all your emotions. In my opinion, he is the worst of all the demons beside Satan. He is a master manipulative gluttonous demon. That's why weed makes you hungry like Buddha."
"Why Buddha though? He's supposed to have been a really good guy. Everyone knows he made a good religion that focuses on good morals? I don't get it." Sakura said.
Micheal sighed. "Don't believe everything you hear. Buddha was a demon from the heavens originally before he was casted down with the evil ones. Then he entered into the body of a young chinese man who played with satanic chants. He basically called forth the evil eye ball that was Buddha and then this supposed enlightenment that he claims he had, was actually demonic. Nobody can be enlightened! That is a false belief. It was a concept created by that religion to fool people into believing that they can be like God! Which is simply impossible!"
"I think I understand... you can't be your creator after all." Sakura said. "It still sounds crazy."
Micheal nodded. "Insanity isn't real. Demons are. Nobody isn't born crazy, but become crazy after using drugs. Weed allows Shiva's spirit to go in and then he begins giving you visions and what they call hallucinations. Before you know it, you begin hearing voices. You didn't take weed on purpose, so Shiva couldn't access you but every evil spirit like the eye of Buddha can enter you and begin changing your thoughts for the worst! That is the truth. All of these spirits are locked in the demonic realms and are inside a green pyramid structure." Micheal said as he begin flying up in his cloud. "Take good care of that baby boy you will soon have. It will grow to become... The next Son of God."
"No way... the second coming of Jesus?" Sakura asked being so happy.
Micheal chuckled. "I said the next Son of God! Not the lord Jesus... and with that I'll leave you to think about what that actually means. Enjoy your life... oh and wish Rock Lee back to life next year, that guy has become very strong and will help you defeat Madara. Goodbye and God bless."
Sakura sighed. "The next Son of God... can God have more children other than Jesus Christ... what does this mean..."
Naruto then woke up. "Huh!? Wait... why am I stuck in this lasso!? Sakura! What the hell! Don't tell me you got me in this to... please don't rape me!"
Sakura blushed. "Naruto... I would never rape you and I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! I was high and demons were altering my thoughts! I swear... I'm so sorry..." Sakura said as she went to help Naruto get untied.
Naruto sighed. "Are you really sorry? And... um... we didn't have sex, did we? Because I could've swore I was seeing you naked before... but maybe it was a hallucination caused by that weed gummy bear I ate."
Sakura nodded. "Um... yeah... it was a hallucination... Please forgive me... I want to be your friend... Naruto..." Sakura said as she look into his eyes. "Please forgive me..."
"Sakura... okay... I forgive you."
"Oh Naruto! Thank you." Sakura said as she hugged him.
Naruto smiled. "You know... a few years back... I had a vision of God... I saw this red haired boy... and... I think he was your son and mine... but now I think that won't come true! Haha... I think the future can change... I mean Trunks did change all our lives."
Sakura smiled. "Your right Naruto... anything is possible... even God can have more children... heh heh..."
Naruto smiled. "Sakura... I know this is so wrong but... I want to kiss you... we're here alone and well..."
Sakura blushed. "Naruto... do you still love me?"
Naruto blushed. "I do..."
"But... Hinata..." Sakura said as she brought her face closer.
"One kiss... and we'll never tell Hinata about it... and we'll continue being friends... forever." Naruto said as he put his hands on her pink long hair.
"Okay... my sweet Naruto..." Sakura and Naruto then made out as rain began to pour down.
Naruto smiled. "Thank you Sakura... I promise you... I'll always be there for you."
Sakura blushed. "Do you pinky promise?"
Naruto took her pinky. "I do..."
To be continued.
A/N: Fucking Naruto is a cheater.
Please don't be offended by all those descriptions of demons and whatnot. Those are my beliefs on those subjects. This is fanfiction, so don't take it all as truth. Maybe I'm wrong about Buddha, he could've just been a normal human with a big ego. I mean how the hell are you gonna claim to be so called Enlightened, then start this big religion focused on meditation while chanting nonsense! Seriously, I think it's all demonic worship! Nobody can be like God except Jesus Christ! And you can bet your ass reincarnation is a lie! People who claim to see there past lives while meditating are probably seeing the life of another spirit who goes inside there head! That's my belief on it.
Stay tuned for more!