Chapter 6

Hello again, my paper friend!

I have nothing new to report, unfortunately. No matter how hard I try, I can't make any new memories appear. And yet I can hear her voice in my head every moment of every day. Everytime I'm awake, I can hear her whisper, "I love you". When I'm sleeping, I can feel her hand in mine, I can feel her head against my own. And yet, I can't see her face. No matter how many times I dream about her, I can never see her face. It's the hardest thing ever, besides living each day with no memories of who you are. To know there is someone out there who loves me, and yet I can't see them. I can't find them. Maybe if I knew what she looked like I could search for her. If I knew her name I could Google her and find out where she is. But I have nothing. Just a vague outline of her.

I know she's a brunette, so I guess I do know something.

Eleanore laughed as she wrote the last line. "What good is knowing the color of her hair? More than half the world is brunette," she said out loud before continuing to scribble on the page.

This is torture, the not knowing. Not knowing who I am, or where I came from. And not knowing who the woman who saved me was. And to top it all off, Killian has been becoming insufferable these days. Everytime I'm away from him, he calls and texts me until I come home. And he keeps me from the beach whenever he can. I just don't understand it. I swear, one day I'm just going to walk out of that house and never go back. Get on board a boat and sail until the motor runs out of gas and just dive into the water and swim away. I don't care where I end up, as long as it's far away from him. And yet, I still feel indebted to him because he was the one who found me on the beach. According to him, we were together before I lost my memories, so he must have been someone special to me at some point…right?

It's just so frustrating not remembering him. I know I've said this before, but if I was in love with him before I lost my memories, wouldn't I still feel drawn to him? Wouldn't I still feel something for him? Instead, I want to be away from him as much as possible.

Her cell phone rang suddenly in her bag, pulling her away from her thoughts.

"Hey Ruby, what's up?" she asked as she answered the phone.

"Elle! Thank god you answered. Ana is running late and she doesn't know when she'll make it in. And Granny and I need to get going for the night. Do you think you can cover for a little until she gets here?" Ruby asked, her voice sounding frantic.

"Hey, no worries. I can cover. No problem," Eleanore said, a little relieved she had an excuse to stay away from home for a little while.

"Elle, you're a lifesaver! Thank you," Ruby said through the phone.

"Nah. I'll be over in a few minutes," Eleanore said, gathering her things while she was still talking to Ruby.

"See you soon," Ruby said, hanging up the phone. She stood up and made her way toward the sidewalk, sending Killian a quick text to let him know she would be picking up an extra shift at the diner, and she didn't know when she would be home. She knew Killian would be working for a little while longer, so he wouldn't see the text until she was already at the diner, saving her from his nasty mood.

She was practically mauled by a frazzled Ruby the moment she walked through the doors of Granny's Diner. She happily dove right into work, welcoming the distraction from her sad thoughts she was having at the beach.

"Elle! Thank you so much for covering for me!" Ana said when she rushed into the diner a few hours later.

"It's no problem." Eleanore smiled, wiping down one of the freshly cleaned tables.

"You're a lifesaver! Thank you!" Ana said, hugging Eleanore tightly.

"You're welcome," Eleanore said, carrying the tub of dirty dishes to the dishroom. She finished up with her last few tables, allowing Ana to pick up any new customers who walked in. After her last table finished and paid their bill, she collected her tips and left, receiving another hug and words of gratitude from Ana. She checked the time and realized it was still pretty early, which meant she could probably get away with telling Killian she had to work later than she really did so she could spend a little extra time on the beach before returning home for the night. A wave of calm washed over her as she stepped foot onto the beach for the second time that day, feeling the sand between her toes once more. The air was cool and crisp, an indication that autumn was not far behind. Her heart felt sad knowing her time with the ocean would soon come to an end, once the snow started to fall.

She took a few more steps onto the beach when she noticed a familiar figure sitting in the sand. She inhaled the ocean air deeply as she walked over to the woman.

"Hey, Gina. Mind if I join you again?" she asked nervously. Gina turned her head suddenly, smiling up at the blonde.

"Of course," she said, a slight nervousness in her voice. "It's nice to see you again, Eleanore. How have you been?"

"I've been alright. Working a lot. How about you?" Eleanore asked, smiling at Gina.

"I'm hanging in," Gina said. A sudden grumble of Eleanore's stomach startled them both.

"Clearly I've skipped dinner." Eleanore laughed. "Hey, have you eaten yet?" she asked.

"Ummm…no…" Gina answered, a little confused.

"Great!" Eleanore smiled, her face lighting up. "May I…umm…may I buy you dinner?" she asked, still a little nervous.

"Oh…sure," Gina said, a shy smile spreading across her face.

"Great!" Eleanore said, digging through her bag to find her wallet. "Stay here. I'll be right back!" she added as she jumped up and grabbed her sneakers.

"Oh Eleanore, you don't have to…" Gina started to say.

"It's no problem. I work at the diner. I get a pretty hefty discount," Eleanore interrupted. "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere!" She smiled, running toward the sidewalk.

Eleanore rushed back to Granny's, confusing Ana when she walked back through the door.

"I thought you left," Ana said, brow furled with confusion.

"Just came to grab some food," Eleanore said, scribbling something on an order ticket, sliding it over to Louis in the kitchen. Ana didn't even bother to stop her from going behind the counter when she wasn't working, although she did force her to sit at the counter and wait for her food, refusing to allow her to work when she was off duty. A little while later, Eleanore paid for their food, taking full advantage of her generous employee discount, and Ana handed her the bag with her food. Thanking her friend, Eleanore rushed out of the diner, breaking into a jog as soon as she cleared the few steps that led into the building. She ran as fast as she could back to the beach, being extra careful to not drop or shake up the bags too much. She released a nervous breath when she saw Gina still sitting in the exact same spot she was when she left.

"You came back." Gina smiled as she looked up at Eleanore.

"Of course I did. I told you I would." Eleanore plopped down next to Gina, careful not to drop the food. "I hope you like grilled cheese," she said, pulling out two styrofoam containers.

"Can't say I've ever had one, to be honest," Gina said. Even in the darkness, Eleanore could see Gina's face blush slightly.

"How is that possible?" Eleanore asked, opening the containers.

"I grew up a little differently than most people," Gina said, her eyes staring with astonishment at the grilled sandwiches in the containers.

"I didn't know if you like fries or onion rings, so I got both," Eleanore said, offering the containers to Gina. "Which would you like?"

"Ummmm….I don't know. I suppose I'll take whichever you don't want."

Eleanore smiled. "How about we share."

"That sounds like a better plan." Gina smiled. She picked up half of one of the sandwiches, watching as the cheese oozed when she pulled the sandwich apart. She gave it a tentative smell before looking over at Eleanore for comfort.

"It's delicious, I promise. Try it. I bet you're going to love it," Eleanore said, taking a bite of her own sandwich. Gina released a breath and took a very tentative bite of the sandwich. Her face lit up as she chewed the small bite.

"That is downright delightful!" she exclaimed, taking a second, much larger bite, burning her lips slightly on the molten cheese.

"See, I told you. Now, let's talk onion rings. Please tell me you've at least had an onion ring," Eleanore said, receiving a nervous shake of Gina's head as an answer. "You're kidding me. You've had fries though, right? Everyone has had fries before." Eleanore received another shy shake of Gina's head. "You're kidding me! Where did you grow up, under a literal rock?"

"You could say something like that," Gina said, clearly ashamed of her culinary lack of experience.

"It's a good thing you met me then," Eleanore said with a chuckle. "Stick with me, and I'll make sure you have your fill of all the greasy foods you can think of." Eleanore smiled.

"What, pray tell, is an onion ring?" Gina asked, picking up the greasy ring, inspecting it closely.

"It's a slice of onion, dipped in batter and deep fried," Eleanore said, grabbing one herself, taking a bite. "It's delicious. Try it." Gina took another tentative bite of the greasy side dish, smiling just as wide.

"That's great. It's salty but there's a slight hint of sweetness," she said, taking another bite.

"That's the batter. It's Granny's secret ingredient. She uses pancake batter so it has a hint of sweetness," Eleanore explained, taking a bite.

"I approve of this pancake batter ," Gina said, looking at the fries next. "What are these sticks called again?"

"Fries. Or French fries. Have you really never even heard of fries before?" Eleanore asked, suddenly feeling like her new friend was messing with her.

"I grew up under a rock, remember?" Gina laughed.

"You poor thing." Eleanore chuckled, picking up a fry herself. "These are just deep fried potatoes. But don't be fooled, they may seem simple, but they are delicious!" Gina picked up a fry herself and took a small bite.

"That's great," she said, quickly stuffing the rest into her mouth.

"Here, try it with a little ketchup," Eleanore said, opening a small packet of ketchup, squeezing it onto the lid of the container in a small pile, encouraging Gina to dip her fry into the thick red liquid.

"Wow. I did not expect THAT!" Gina said, dipping the rest of her fry in the ketchup again.

"Hey now! No double dipping!" Eleanore teased, causing Gina to look at her with fear.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry. I…I didn't know I was…double dipping…"

"Gina, it's okay. I'm just teasing you. I don't mind," Eleanore said, causing Gina to blush once again.

"Thanks," she said shyly.

"Next time, try the grilled cheese with ketchup too. It's way better with tomato soup, but since we don't have any, a little ketchup is the next best thing," Eleanore said, adding another packet of ketchup to the existing pile on the take-out container lid. Gina dipped the corner of her sandwich in the ketchup, being careful not to double dip again, taking a small bite.

She smiled. "That's not bad."

"I'm glad it gets your seal of approval."

"Can I ask what you do for a living?" Gina asked after a few moments of silence. "I ask only because the first time we met, you said you were going to work to catch fish, and tonight you said you worked at the diner."

"Both are true, actually. During the week, I fish. The pay is decent and it allows me to be out on the water, which I love. On the weekends and during the winter when it's too cold to go out on the water, I work at the diner," Eleanore explained, offering Gina the last fry, to which Gina declined. "Although, it seems like I work at the diner whenever they need me these days, even during the week." Eleanore laughed, eating the last fry.

"That sounds busy," Gina said, taking the last onion ring, stuffing it into her mouth.

"It can be. But I don't mind," Eleanore said, purposely choosing not to mention that working so much keeps her away from Killian's oppressive ways. "Can I ask what you do for a living?"

"I'm more of a…diplomat…of sorts," Gina said. Eleanore could tell that she was being vague, so she didn't pry. Her secrets were her own.

"Sounds interesting." Eleanore smiled.

"It's alright," Gina said, a slight sadness in her voice.

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, and Eleanore couldn't help but notice the way the light from the full moon illuminated Gina's face, causing it to almost glow. She could see a deep scar on Gina's lip, and she made a point to ask the woman how she got the mark if she saw her again. They were having such a wonderful time, she didn't want to ruin it with thoughts of unhappy times. The sound of Eleanore's phone beeping eventually pulled them from their silence, causing Eleanore to groan when she read the text message on her screen.

"Everything alright?" Gina asked, sensing the slight aggravation.

"Yeah. It's just Killian. He's bugging me about where I am and when I'll be home." She sighed, hovering her thumbs over the screen, not wanting to respond just yet.

"Oh…" Gina said. If Eleanore didn't know better, she could swear she heard sadness in that one tiny word. "And who is…Killian?"

"He's my boyfr…he's the guy I live with," Eleanore said. Even though Gina was practically a stranger, she couldn't bring herself to call Killian her boyfriend.

"Oh…" Gina said. This time, the sadness in her voice was unmistakable.

"Yeah…I better get going," Eleanore said sadly. "If I don't, he's going to get even madder than he already is. He was pissed that I had to work at the last minute tonight." Eleanore picked up the trash from their dinner. "It was really nice to see you again, Gina." Gina's brown eyes sparkled against the light of the moon, causing Eleanore's heart to skip a beat.

Gina smiled. "It was nice to see you too, Eleanore."

"Hopefully, I'll see you around again," Eleanore said, standing and taking the trash with her.

"Yes, I would like that very much," Gina said. Eleanore walked slowly toward the sidewalk, tossing the garbage in the trash can by the entrance where she paused to put her socks and sneakers back on before walking down the street. Once again, she could feel Gina's eyes on her back as she walked away, which caused a wide smile to spread across her face.

She texted Killian to let him know she was on her way home, knowing if she didn't, she would have more hell to pay once she got home. She walked back slowly, not ready to go home yet, but not in the mood to deal with Killian's bullshit either. But she knew the later it was, the more annoying he would become.

He was waiting for her when she got home, he clearly already had more to drink than he should.

"Where the hell have you been, Swan! I called the diner, and Ana told me you left work a while ago," Killian screamed, slurring his words slightly.

"Relax. I just went to the beach for a few minutes and took the long way home," Eleanore said, tossing her bag in the usual corner.

"You know I HATE it when you go to that damn beach. Why can't you just stay away from that place?" Killian screamed.

"Because I like it, that's why," she yelled back, guarding herself for another verbal backlash.

"I really don't care if you like it! I hate it!" Killian spat.

"Whatever. I'm going to take a shower and go to bed. I'm exhausted," she said, ignoring the nasty looks he gave her when she walked by. She didn't care. She could hear him saying something as she closed the bathroom door, but she ignored it. She didn't have the energy to deal with his stupidity that night.

"Don't forget me," the woman whispered, deep sobs escaping from her lips. The woman shifted again, this time her face inches away from hers. "I love you so much," she cried before she pressed her lips against hers. The woman's lips were soft and warm, and her kiss was so full of love it made her heart swell. The woman cried deeply as she pressed their foreheads together for a moment. Then suddenly, the woman was gone.

She used every last bit of energy she had left to open her eyes. She struggled to focus on the world around her as she searched for the woman who had saved her from drowning only a few minutes ago. But, by the time her vision cleared, she was alone on the beach, a loud splash being the only indication of where the woman had disappeared to. Whoever she was, she was gone…

Eleanore woke up before sunrise, the sound of water splashing and waves crashing into the shore ringing in her ears. So that's where she went, she thought to herself, sadness washed over her. If she swam away, she could be anywhere. At least before, I could hope she was somewhere nearby. But now, she could be anywhere. She sighed, looking over at Killian snoring slightly beside her, rolling her eyes at the sight of him.

She got up and started her day, excited that she had just enough time to return to the beach to watch the sunrise once again before heading to the docks. Her stomach fluttered slightly when she thought of the possibility that Gina may still be there like last time. She rushed around, making sure to put her bathing suit on under her clothes as usual. Even though the water was getting colder and colder as winter approached, she fully intended on going for a swim before the day was over.

When she reached for her bag, she suddenly froze with horror. Her bag felt significantly lighter than it should be. She opened it quickly, finding her fears to be real. Her journal was missing. She panicked, frantically searching the living room and kitchen, but the book that had been her safe haven for almost a year was gone. She remembered having it at the beach before she went to work and remembered seeing it in her bag when she was searching for her wallet. Fuck! I must have dropped it on the beach when I was having dinner with Gina, she panicked. She took a deep breath and tried to prepare herself to accept that her journal was probably gone forever. At least I didn't put my name on it, so if anyone finds it, they won't know it's mine, she thought, heading out the door and toward the beach before she missed the sunrise. She could always get a new journal. But the words she had already written on its pages were gone. She tried not to think about her loss as she made her way to the beach.

The sky was starting to brighten when she reached the sand, pulling her sneakers off as soon as she arrived. She took a few steps onto the beach and felt a now familiar wave of peace wash over her. She stopped for a second to enjoy the feeling, closing her eyes to fully feel the ocean winds against her face. She opened her eyes slowly, a smile wrapping across her face when she saw Gina still sitting in the same spot she had left her hours ago. She walked over to her new friend slowly, her stomach suddenly fluttering slightly.

"Hey Gina, you're still here. Mind if I join you again?" Eleanore said, approaching the brunette.

"Of course," Gina said, indicating for Eleanore to sit down. "You're back. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah. I couldn't sleep, so I decided to watch the sunrise again before work. I almost missed it," she said, relief in her voice as she settled her gaze to the ocean.

"Do you often have trouble sleeping?" Gina asked, breaking their silence. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to," she backpedaled, worried she might have overstepped with her question.

"It's cool." Eleanore smiled, letting Gina know she was alright with her questions. "Yeah, I've always had a little trouble sleeping. It seems like it's getting worse though." Eleanore sighed. She could tell Gina wanted to say something, but her new friend stayed silent as they watched the sun rise over the horizon. Once the sun was bathing the world with its new rays, Eleanore released a deep sigh.

"Well, I better get going. Those fish don't catch themselves." She laughed, reluctantly standing.

"Hey, before you leave, I think you dropped this when you left earlier," Gina said, handing Eleanore her prized book.

"You found it! I thought it was gone forever! Thank you!" Eleanore said, taking the book from Gina and hugging it to her chest for a second before stuffing it back into her bag for safe keeping.

"You're welcome," Gina said, looking up at Eleanore.

"Have a good day, Gina. See you around," Elenore said, her mood instantly brightening now that she had her journal back. She waved to Gina before turning around and walking toward the exit.

"Eleanore, wait," Gina said, causing Eleanore to spin around at once, turning her attention back to the other woman. Gina stood up and took a few steps closer to Eleanore. "So…ummm…" Gina stuttered, not quite sure how to get the words out, her face turning a bright shade of red. "I…I'm usually here once a month. Would you meet me here again next month…that is, if you're interested?"

"I'd love to." Eleanore smiled. "I'll bring dinner again," she added.

"I'd like that," Gina said, a smile spreading across her face.

"See you in a month, Gina."

"I'll see you then." They smiled at each other for a few moments before Eleanore turned around and left the beach, heading to the docks to start her day.

A/N: Gosh, aren't they just adorable :D