When Ruby looks at the next file, she sees "INCIDENT 0101132007" and a drawing of an umbrella.

Ruby: "Next up we have, like, incident 0101132007."

Shannon: "I remember that's the one involving a sword swallower."

The image on the file shows a man lying on the ground, the handle of an umbrella sticking out of his mouth.

Shannon: "Sword swallowing is a dangerous act. And even if you put something less sharp down your throat, there are still plenty of ways for things to go wrong. Let me demonstrate…"

Zoom in.

We open to see the same man from the file, his burly chest quite prominent. Behind him is a yellow banner with the words "SWORD SWALLOWER" written on it.

Date of Incident: 13 January, 2007

Location of Incident: Wood's Carnival, Barnegat, New Jersey

Man: "Come on inside, you're gonna see a show you've never seen before."

Ruby: (Narrating) "This here is Boris. He's, like, pretty desperate - the recent economic depression has made life hard."

Boris: "This is really dangerous, folks. So don't try this at home."

Boris takes out a sword and licks the blade in preparation.

Ruby: (Narrating) "Especially his seven-foot sword swallow."

We see the audience watching in anticipation, as Boris carefully inserts the sword into his mouth and guides it down his oesophagus. He then carefully bows to the audience as they gasp in amazement, before removing the blade.

Ruby: (Narrating) "He used to pack all sorts of people into this part of New Jersey. Now he could call himself lucky to get a busload of grannies on their way to Atlantic City."

Boris smiles as the audience claps.

Ruby: (Narrating) "Shannon, you said you talked with a professional magician about something like this, yes?"

Cut to Shannon in the office.

Shannon: "Yes. From what he told me, the key to pulling off a successful magic trick is to get your audience emotionally invested. If you don't do that they'll just watch your trick like how the Romans watched a gladiator fight. And they'll be thinking things like 'Let's see if he gets hurt.' That's not a good place to be."

Back at the carnival, Boris crosses the blades of two swords.

Boris: "That's right, two blades at once."

Ruby: (Narrating) "Now Boris was a circus freak and was willing to do, like, anything to stay afloat. If one sword didn't impress the audience, how about two?"

Boris: "This is extremely dangerous because at any moment these swords could scissor and cause internal bleeding."

With that warning, Boris licks the blades. He then puts the two blades next to each other and carefully slides them down his throat. The audience is amazed and claps.

Ruby: (Narrating) "And if that didn't do the trick he'd take, like, challenges from the audience."

An elderly man in the audience gets up and walks over to Boris, his black umbrella in one hand.

Ruby: (Narrating) "Today, some cranky old pensioner handed him his umbrella."

Pensioner: "Hah! Big guy. How about my umbrella?, huh? Huh?"

The pensioner holds out his umbrella, which Boris takes. The audience claps in anticipation.

Audience Member: "Heh, let's see, let's see."

Ruby: (Narrating) "Desperate times call for desperate measures."

Boris points the umbrella up in the sky and opens his mouth.

Ruby: (Narrating) "In a dramatic flourish Boris hoisted the umbrella over his head…"

Boris lowers the umbrella into his mouth and begins guiding it down his oesophagus. The audience covers their mouths.

Ruby: (Narrating) "...and proceeded to jam it down his big and tall gullet. It was quite the disgusting display, but the audience couldn't look away."

Eventually, Boris has the umbrella halfway inside his body. The audience gags in shock. Finally, the whole umbrella disappears into his throat, leaving only the handle sticking out.

Ruby: (Narrating) "He might have gotten away with just a sore throat…"

Boris suddenly clutches his neck and begins gagging.

Ruby: (Narrating) "...if it wasn't for his giant epiglottis hitting the release mechanism."

One of Shannon's CGI shots shows the umbrella opening inside Boris's throat, the metal prongs of its skeleton piercing the outer wall.

Ruby: (Narrating) "With that the umbrella closed down his windpipe and, like, sealed the deal on him. Shanny, thoughts?"

Once more we see Shannon in the office.

Shannon: "Yeah, an umbrella is probably the stupidest and most dangerous thing I could think to use for this trick. Sticking something that could open up like this down your throat is just begging for disaster. If it does open up, it'll get lodged inside you and you won't be able to get it out without ripping the hell out of your oesophagus. Also, you risk closing off your trachea, rendering you unable to breathe. Yeah, I'd say Boris is fifty shades of screwed."

Boris is still gagging to no avail as he staggers around. Eventually, he collapses and goes silent.

Ruby: (Narrating) "He lived by the sword… and died by the umbrella."

WAY TO DIE #952

DUMBRELLA

Back to the Sharuby couple in their office.

Ruby: "You know, I once saw sword swallowing as a child, and they made it look easy. This death proved to me that it's actually quite risky."

Shannon: "Yeah. Next file please - my turn to narrate."

Ruby nods, closing the file and marking it before wheeling over to get the next one.