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A/n an addition to the turning scene in "Fated to Pretend," from Josef POV. There is direct dialog from the episode. Credit to the writers.
Crucible
Humans believe that when a person becomes a vampire, the change is easy, simply falling into that deep sleep called death and waking to eternal life. Books, movies, and online faux vampire chat rooms describe turning as a darkly romantic experience in a faraway castle or deserted graveyard. Vampire groupies talk of it in hushed tones and breathless whispers as if it were something to be desired and sought after, like gold or precious stones.
Josef often laughed when confronted with modern-day blood dolls who thought him a God or, worse, a demon with a heart of gold. He was neither because demons don't care about humans, and a God wouldn't look at them with - apathy.
He knew he wasn't purely evil – just immortal, powerful, and – bored. He knew Mick pitied him for his endless parties, billions that couldn't buy happiness and blood lust. They never spoke of it, but Josef knew. He wanted Mick to embrace his immortal existence, but instead, he was all about helping humans instead of taking from them.
Josef thought about all of this when he used his vampire strength and quickness to show Mick that going after Beth alone was suicide.
As he pinned Mick to the wall, he could almost see the crimson blood pumping through his friend's veins, see it throbbing in his jugular like an invitation. He could smell the coppery edge and the hint of sweetness. Mick's heart raced, and his breath heaved with panic.
After he lets Mick go and asks him if he understands his place in the world, his – brother asks him a favor that Josef was loathe to grant. In that second, Josef realized the price Mick had paid and would pay if Beth died.
He couldn't do it. What if he failed again? What if Mick ended up like Sarah, or worse, dead beyond hope of returning?
"You have to turn me back," Mick pleaded his words, cutting Josef like a silver knife.
"You can't. After all, you went through a lot to get the cure. You're gonna give it up this easy!"
"You think this is easy for me," Mick responded, and Josef saw the gathering anguish in his friend's eyes. "It's not easy, okay. I don't have a choice."
"What you're asking me to do –"
"Listen to me, alright," Mick shouted as he sprang forward and grabbed Josef's lapels. "He has Beth. He has my Beth."
It hit Josef in a second, and he couldn't say no. What if it were his beloved? What if something had happened to Sarah before he tried to turn her? Wouldn't he have gone to the ends of heaven and hell to save her?
"So please, brother – help me." Mick pleaded.
"Mick – forgive me," Josef whispered.
Mick turned his head, and Josef yanked him close. The slash of his fangs into soft flesh, hot fresh blood on his lips and tongue, the ecstasy of taking from the man he called brother danced on the edge of eroticism. He'd forgotten how intimate it was to feed from someone he deeply cared for as they fell together, and Mick dropped to the table beneath them, still and quiet.
Josef removed his coat, bit into his wrist, and let scarlet drops of life-giving vampiric blood drip onto Mick's lips.
"Come on, Mick," he begged.
God, please work!
Mick grabbed his arm and held it to his lips, drinking more blood, and – he sat up and growled like a wild wolf on the hunt. He turned to Josef, who saw the remnants of tears on Mick's face. His brother had returned, but at what cost?
No, becoming a vampire wasn't easy or romantic. It was a crucible that burned away the mortal man and left – Josef wasn't sure what Mick had left.
MOONMOONMOONMOON
Josef stared out the window of his private quarters. He'd told everyone to leave so he could be alone that night. Josef could still taste Mick's blood on his tongue. He'd tried feeding on one of his willing blood dolls to drown out the taste – but it wasn't the same.
Humans didn't know that everyone's blood tasted different from vampires. It was something he'd learned when he first turned.
"This is – insane," he said to himself. "Stop crying like a pitiful human. Mick got what he wanted, so let him live with it."
Still, the city carried on outside his window, and he was eternally alone until Sarah finally succumbed to the vampire blood or until she – died. He shook his head. Josef had learned in the past fifty years to let go of Sarah when he wasn't watching over her because the pain was too much to bear. Forgetting was easier said than done, he knew.
Josef wondered how long it would take to forget how he'd cursed his best friend for eternity. He asked how long it would take to stop thinking about the taste of Mick's blood or the sight of tears on his brother's cheeks.