It doesn't matter what his parents say.
It should have been him ...
Dash always wanted to be the older sibling, he had wished for it for years. Just that same afternoon he had told Violet that he should be the oldest for crying out loud.
Their mother always told them to be careful what you wish for, because you may get it. At first he didn't understand. Why would he regret having what he wanted?
That phrase didn't make any sense to him… until now.
He had never regretted something so much in his life. He would give ANYTHING; his dreams, his powers, even his own life to take those words back.
But it was too late now…
It hurted when the doctors stitched his wounds, they told him that his "memabolism?" was so fast that the painkillers wore off quickly. But he didn't complain, he knew he deserved it. Besides, it was nothing compared to the pain that his sister must have felt at her last moments.
That was the worst part. It wasn't even him… but Violet who paid the ultimate price for his selfish wish.
She didn't deserve such an awful… end. It will forever haunt his nightmares: Her choked up screams, her painful breathing, the iron stench, her cold skin. But the worst part was her eyes; they were first full of fear and agony then they became dull and empty.
He felt lifeless when he came back home (a luxury Violet didn't have). His parents; even when they seemed broken, tried to cheer him up, tucked on his bed and kissed him goodnight; he didn't say anything, he didn't deserve their love.
He couldn't sleep, he tossed and turned for hours until… something caught his eyes on his night table… It was Vi's diary…
That's right!… That morning he took it to read it later. He has done it dozens of times, he used to scoff at the girly things it said. But now… it made him feel a surge of guilt.
He took it in his hands, he didn't realize he was crying until he saw the tears fall over the cover. He wiped them angrily; this diary was Vi's, it contained her secrets, her hopes and her now unfulfilled dreams; he can't ruin it.
He immediately went to Vi's room, he felt some of his stitches opening, but he had to return the diary. He promised her at her last moments that he would never read it again.
He froze when he opened the door, the room felt cold and empty. He took a few seconds to gather himself to finally enter. He immediately went to the nightstand and carefully placed the diary on it.
"Here Vi… this is yours" He couldn't help it to say those words out loud. It was odd, even when she wasn't here, this room made him feel that he was talking to her.
He remembered the countless times he sneaked out to her room and all the times she discovered him and scolded him (or trapped him inside a forcefield). But when he looked at the doorway the truth hitted him like a truck.
Violet will never walk through that door ever again…
He broke down, he just sat on the floor curled up and started weeping. He wanted to leave but he couldn't bring himself to do it. This room felt like her…
He stayed like that for a few minutes until he heard a tiny voice.
"Vi-Vi?" It was Jack-Jack, his room was next to Violet's. He must have heard him enter the room and innocently thought his sister was finally back.
"No…it's just me" Dash said dryly.
"Das?" Jack-Jack crawled towards him "Vi-Vi?" He asked, looking around for his big sister.
Dash tried to hide his flinch. How could he explain it to his baby brother?
"S-she is… she is gone"
"Wher'?" Jack-Jack just tilted his head.
A part of him envied his little brother. He was there too but apparently he's not aware of what happened, maybe he thought she just fell asleep when she closed her eyes.
NO… STOP IT!. He thought to himself. Wishing to be in his siblings shoes is what got him into this mess in the first place.
"I'm sorry Jack-Jack… s-she will never come back… she is … she is…" He choked up.
But he had to bring himself to say it and confront it, he had avoided that word for so long.
"She… is…dead" He finally said it… as more tears fell from his cheeks.
Jack-Jack didn't seem to understand what that word meant, but he was concerned for Dash and tried to wipe away the tears of his brother.
Dash started to laugh through his tears.
"Thank you… Jack-Jack… I just… miss her… SO MUCH"
In response Jack-Jack climbed on the bed and pulled from Dash's t-shirt telling him to climb too.
It took him a full minute to get what his little brother was doing.
When Jack-Jack misses any member of the family sometimes he sneaks up to their room curled up on their bed and just waits for them to come back.
"Jack-Jack… Do you want us to wait together for Violet?"
"Yeh." Jack-Jack replied.
For a second Dash thought about telling him it was pointless. But when Dash saw in his innocent eyes that the baby only wanted to cheer him up, he decided to play along.
"Sure" Dash also climbed into the bed and sat beside his brother.
Jack-Jack watched expectantly towards the doorway. The baby really believed that Violet would come back. Dash stared at it too, even though he knew there was no use; pretending caused his heart to ache. But he had to be strong for the small bean, he is the one in charge now.
Dash suppressed a sob. Before he thought that being in charge meant that you get to give orders to everyone around you. He knew now that it meant being responsible for the well-being of others. He regretted not realizing sooner the huge burden his sister had; the same burden that she died for.
They waited for about an hour when Jack-Jack fell asleep. Dash at the sight of this couldn't help but hug him. That feeling made him remember what Vi so desperately mouthed in her last seconds of life.
I love you.
The overwhelming need to protect the little nugget on his arms made him realize that she not only sacrifice herself for them because she had to, but because she wanted to.
" I love you too Vi… I'm sorry I couldn't protect you… but don't worry… I promise I will take care of our little brother"
Dash covered them both with the sheets, they still smelled of Violet's shampoo, making it feel like she was hugging them both.
Dash was finally able to fell asleep with the warm embrace of his two siblings.