The mountain was a hive of activity. Its once silent halls were now booming with voices and tools at work. Dwarves weave in and out of each other to reach their own destinations. After the reclamation of Erebor from the dragon Smaug and defending it against an army of orcs, the real work began. Thorin Oakenshield, son of Thrain, son of Thror, now official king under the mountain, had put whoever was willing to task. His hopes to see the place of his birth a thriving kingdom once again was now within his grasp, but it would take a lot of time and elbow grease to make it possible. Major repairs needed to be made throughout, especially the gates and main halls, made by Smaug's initial invasion and 'redecoration'. The mines needed to be cleared and checked for faults, homes needed filling with new, sturdy furniture for the returning residents from the blue mountains, and trade would need to be established and maintained with their neighbours. Luckily, the last of these tasks were overseen by one of Thorin's most trusted advisors. Not a dwarf but one hobbit named Bilbo Baggins.

Bilbo had been returning from the market in Dale, wanting to find if the latest shipments from Mirkwood had brought some much-needed greenery he could take to the mountain. Dwarves didn't eat much in the way of vegetables and Bilbo had felt the strain at times. His plan was to make clippings and take seeds to start a farm around the mountain's base so there would be plenty to supply the dwarves and men in the following years. The winter after Erabor's reclamation had been a harsh one and he was determined to be ready by the next Durin's day.

He was about to head back into the mountain when, as he neared the great gates, over the hustle and bustle around him, his pointed ears picked up a word. One he had not heard in a long time.

"Inquisitor!"

His eyes shot up and looked around in search of its origin. Amongst the sea of dwarves, one grinning, beardless face stood out.

"Varric!"

Bilbo's face lit up as he ran towards his friend, expertly dodging and weaving through the crowd. He crashed into Varric and they gave each other a soul crushing hug.

"Andraste's ass," Varric laughed, "Of all the places to hide, you had to choose a mountain filled with dwarves."

"Wonderful to see you too, my friend," Bilbo said as he pulled back from their embrace. "Oh, where are my manners? Come inside. There's a good food hall a short walk in. Not too untidy and I know the chef. Their game pie is very popular. And for good reason."

"I'm here for ten seconds and you're already trying to feed me."

"Of course. What kind of respectable hobbit would I be without attending to my guests' needs? Yavanna knows how far you've travelled." At this, Bilbo took his hand and started leading him inside. "Now, you must tell me what has been happening over the past… however long has it been? Two years? Three? Goodness knows how busy I've been."

"Well, I'm not gonna pass on an ale and a good story."

"Good. You are always welcome in my company, Varric. You know, I was quite apprehensive trying dwarven ale and I must ask, do the dwarves of Orzammar just sell their urine to surface dwellers? It is nothing like the beverages here."

The two friends were sitting at a table in the corner of the busy hall, wholly engrossed in their own conversation.

"And then 13 dwarves burst into my smial, decimated my pantry, drug mud all over the carpets, destroyed the lavatory, openly insulted and mocked me then handed me a contract, expecting me to join them on a quest to the other side of Middle earth to reclaim a mountain." Bilbo gestured dramatically, food half-forgotten as his listener sat across from him, highly amused at his companion's ire.

"So your average weekend, eh?"

"Indeed. Did you know the king called me a grocer? As soon as he stepped in. And was late for supper, might I add? I should have kicked him out for his terrible manners."

"You wouldn't dare. Everyone knows you're too polite to turn anyone away."

"True but that only goes so far"

"So how did you manage to one up them?"

"They didn't believe I had faced dragons before. I don't blame them; I wouldn't believe me either. So, I asked them a few important questions."

~~\FlashBack/~~

"That would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age," the hatted dwarf Bofur began to explain with all the dramatics of a fairy-tale villain. "Airborne fire-breather, teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks, extremely fond of precious metals—"

"Yes, I know what a dragon is," Bilbo said curtly. "But what type of dragon? Is it a high dragon? A wyvern? Dracolisk?"

All eyes seemed to look at the hobbit in varying degrees of confusion. "Is there a difference?"

"Quite an obvious difference. They all have their own strengths and weaknesses and if I'm to come along, which I believe you are trying to coerce me into doing with this long-winded story, Gandalf," he glared at said wizard before turning back to the group "I need to know what to expect."

"Fine. Ask your questions" Thorin growled lowly as he glared at Bilbo suspiciously, but it seemed to have no effect on him.

"First of all, how many legs and wings does it have? That's the easiest indicator of species"

"Two of each, if I remember correctly." one of the elder dwarves answered. Balin, he believed.

"Sounds like a wyvern, which means fighting it inside the mountain is probably the best option. It'll walk using its wings as another set of legs for balance but won't put much weight on them as wyverns are very bottom heavy. It means they would be slower on the ground and unable to climb as they are more made for the air." Bilbo seemed to be explaining to no one but himself but when he looked up he saw the youngest Ri brother writing furiously on a piece of parchment.

"You should be more afraid, Master Baggins."

"They're like a furnace with wings…" Bofur started again.

"So, they're a fire drake. Thanks for that tidbit. Far easier than ice dragons."

"A what?"

"You've never seen an ice dragon? They live at mountain summits and tundras, so it's already freezing, then they breath an ice cold wind and spit shards of ice that cut through you like a dagger. Dragons are coldblooded, like other reptiles, so they need heat to warm up their bodies to function properly. Ice dragons have no such problem. They supposedly have taken over the grey mountains or possibly even further north. Not that anyone has seen them. A snowstorm is easy camouflage for an ambush." Bilbo had quite enough of Bofur trying to scare him. He knew what he was talking about and wouldn't be played with for their entertainment. Seeing the slight nervousness on his face was satisfying enough to not push further. "Anyway, we're moving off topic. Is it male or female?"

"Does it matter?" Dwalin asked gruffly.

"Of course it matters."

"Smaug is a male dragon, Bilbo, my lad" Gandalf answered.

"Thank goodness for that"

"Why is that a good thing?" Kili asked, confused on how their gender could make the hobbit sound so relieved.

"Female dragons are far more aggressive than the males, especially when they are protecting their young."

"So you mean…"

"If Smaug was female, there'd be a high chance of more than one dragon in that mountain."

The others cringed at the thought. It had been decades since Smaug had been seen which would have meant that, if that was the case, they'd be dealing not with hatchlings but, possibly, multiple fully grown dragons. Erebor would have really been a lost cause at that point.

"Finally, what, pray tell, do you want me for?"

And so, Gandalf continued his explanation. He produced the key to the Lonely Mountain's hidden door and their idea to hire Bilbo to steal the Arkenstone, the heart of the mountain and symbol of the King of Erebor, from under the dragon's nose.

~~/Flashback stops\~~

"Hold on." Varric paused Bilbos story. "The great Inquisitor, Herald of Andraste, was hired as a thief?"

"Burglar, technically, but yes."

"And they wanted you to go into a dragon infested mountain to find… a shiny rock"

"By myself." Bilbo nodded. "Well, apparently, none of the dwarven kingdoms were willing to send aid unless Thorin had it to 'prove his right as heir of Durin 's line."

"I've dealt with enough of the dwarven merchants guild to know that's bullshit. Using the rules to get around not doing anything is a classic."

~~/Flashback\~~

Bilbo had found a willing listener in the youngest Ri brother. He thirsted for knowledge more than bilbo had when he went off on his first ever adventure. of course, he hid it under the pretence of knowing how to defeat Smaug but Bilbo wasn't complaining. It was enough to relay what he'd learned.

"Dragons go underground to hibernate. They can sleep for decades at a time, giving their prey a chance to recover and grow in number and, as generations pass, they become less wary or even forget that the dragon exists entirely, making easy prey. That dragon is alive, I can guarantee that."

"How do you know so much about these creatures?" Ori asked innocently.

"You can't believe everything in those books of yours" a gruff voice interjected. Bilbo looked up from where they'd been sitting to look at their easily disgruntled leader whilst trying to keep the conversation light.

"Well, books can be enlightening but there's nothing quite like hands-on experience. I've had my own encounters with such beasts."

"Have you killed dragons before, Master Boggins? Kili asked excitedly

"Well yes but I had help"

"How many? Were they big?"

"None as old as Smaug must be but I'd say about a dozen high dragon adults and about twice as many young. Wyverns and drakes included."

This caused an uproar from the disbelieving company.

"Such lies"

"Preposterous"

"You can't be serious "

"Just wait here a moment," Bilbo said as he got up calmly. Bilbo left the dwarves for a short time whilst they were murmuring their own doubts of what the hobbit had gone through. How could such a small creature from the most peaceful place in middle earth fight anything more ferocious than a stubborn weed in their strawberry patch, let alone a giant lizard that could swallow him whole. Bilbo returned holding an arm brace which he held out towards the group.

"This is one of my mail arms. The guard was made from the scales of a young adult dragon. If you move them slightly, you can see the refraction of light creating a rainbow of colours. I think that might be the reason dragons like gold. The twinkling reminds them of their mothers or siblings scales. Like a comfort blanket but more expensive." Gloin quickly took it from his hands and held it to the light, appraising it with sharp eyes.

"That is no metal, lads." he said after a minute and held it out reverently, "Look." The piece of armour was passed round with each dwarf analysing it carefully. They were children of the stone and knew each gem, ore and mineral like the back of their hand. But this? This was neither of those.

"Mahal, I think he's tellin' the truth"

"Incredibly tough but very light." Bilbo cheerfully continued, deftly taking back the brace, preparing to put it away. "Also resistant to fire damage which is a plus. The only problem is that the dragon would know what it is made of instantly. I wouldn't be able to use it during the important part of the agreement, so it'll be more risky on my end."

~~/End of flashback\~~

"Gandalf, the old coot, tried to take all the credit for finding a "dragon expert" for the company." Bilbo finished. "It was quite obvious when they asked him how many he'd slain that he had never gotten anywhere close to a dragon before. His discomfort was entertaining."

"Enough to make up for the whirlwind of a night he put you through? Doubt it"

"True but I had to have some fun"

By this time, their plates had been emptied. Though in good cheer, it was obvious to the two of them the number of eyes that were staring in their direction. Bilbo would have said mostly towards him as most dwarves hadn't seen a hobbit before (neither had the people of Thedas and they both knew the reception he got) and merely looked on him in suspicion as to why he stayed in the mountain once it was reclaimed or why King Thorin had given him such a high position after betraying him, giving the elves and men the Arkenstone. But no. They were looking at Varric with their hands resting close to their weapons.

"Voulez-vous continuer cette histoire dans un endroit plus calme? S'éloigner des nains suspects?

"Good idea, Messaire. You can show me around a bit before you get hungry again"

Thanks for reading. Been working on it for a while and needed to get it out there. Will edit in the future.

Sorry about the French. It is bad. I didn't beta. If it needs changing, message me a good translation.

Translation (Do you want to continue this story in a quieter place? Stay away from suspicious dwarves?)