Barbara got back to the penthouse that evening, after the sun had set. The penthouse was dark, but she quickly switched on the lights. Then she found she wasn't alone.

She saw someone sitting on the couch across from the large TV. The large, floppy fedora gave away who it was. She had been dreading this day, but she knew it would come eventually.

"Darkwing Duck," she said to him.

Darkwing 2.0 got up from the couch and turned to her. "Barbara Horne. Or should I say, Collateral Ramage?"

Barbara had been expecting this confrontation, but she still stammered out, "W-Who told you that?"

"Your previous employer, F.O.W.L."

"And you trust them? A criminal syndicate who would have every reason to lie to you?"

"Then look me in the eyes and tell me they're lying."

Barbara looked Darkwing in the eyes. A minute of staring at each other wore her down. She sighed, "Alright. F.O.W.L. wasn't lying. I am Collateral Ramage… but I cut all ties with them."

He nodded. "And you already know who I am underneath the mask."

"Because YOU shouted, 'You killed my son!'"

"Only because YOU asked, 'Do I know you?'"

The penthouse became quiet…too quiet. Darkwing realized someone was missing, maybe two or three someones. He asked Barbara, "Where were you?"

"Out with some friends."

"Where's Wally?"

"He was with Andy and Ann. They agreed to take care of all our kids."

"Shouldn't Wally be home by now?"

Darkwing thought he was just stealthy enough that Wally didn't hear him come in. Harold and Barbara ran to Wally's room. They found it empty.

Barbara asked Darkwing, "Harold, where's my kid?"

Then she realized her phone was vibrating… a lot. She pulled it from her purse and found a group text had been made. Barbara wasn't the only one; her friends had come back to find their children missing too. One message she had gotten stood out from the others: DON'T TRUST ANDY AND ANN BILL

She almost jumped when her phone vibrated again, but Harold's also vibrated this time. They had both gotten a news alert. He nodded for her to open the alert, and she did. A video started to play that appeared to be filmed inside a warehouse.

On the screen, Harold and Barbara saw twin teenage ducks. The twins were dressed in jester's outfits. The boy's outfit was red with black stripes, while the girl's outfit was purple with yellow polka dots. Beneath their masks, Harold and Barbara knew who they were watching: Andy and Ann Bill. Behind them were about ten children (maybe more), tied up with jump ropes. Harold and Barbara immediately identified Wally amongst them.

Andy said, "Greetings, St. Canardians! I'm Jack—!"

"And I'm Jill!" Ann - Jill - continued.

"And if it wasn't obvious—!"

"We are Quackerjack's children!"

"'I didn't know Quackerjack had kids!'" Jack said through a puppet Harold recognized as a Mr. Banana Brain doll.

"'I don't even know who Quackerjack is!'" Jill said through a different Mr. Banana Brain doll that appeared to be made of metal, full of hate and wires.

Jack went back to talking to the camera. "Well, let's explain to our captive audience."

Jill started, "A long time ago, our father was a toymaker."

"He loved traditional toys, but hated video games."

"He blamed them for driving him out of business."

"Of course, his toys weren't very child-friendly, either…" Jack chuckled, almost sounding embarrassed. He gestured to a rocking horse. He pulled on its ears and flames shot from its mouth.

Jill said, "Nevertheless, Dad became Quackerjack, a villain that menaced St. Canard-"

"-and Darkwing Duck with lots of cool toys," Jack finished.

"But then Quackwerks came to town." Jill sighed, pouting. "Gave all the supervillains, including Dad, boring desk jobs."

"Our dad met our mom, fell in love. He tried to go back to villainy, but…"

"He snapped, for good, and turned himself into a doll."

"End of the story, right?" Jack laughed mirthlessly, "Hahaha, WRONG!"

Jill explained, "Mom, with some help from a supervillain named Megavolt, turned Dad back!"

"Dad was sick of being a villain! Sick of being a toy!"

"Playtime was over, forever. Mom and Dad got married."

Jack adjusted the camera to focus on a dollhouse. "Not too long ago, a normal family lived a normal life."

"A father, a mother, a brother and sister." Jill put the dolls in front of the house. One was Quackerjack, the other their mother, and two for the twins.

"It was a good life," Jack said.

"A 'perfect' life," Jill added.

"A BORING LIFE!" Jack kicked over the dollhouse, sending it crashing into the family of dolls.

"We were soooo bored," Jill groaned, putting a hand to her forehead. "No normal toys could ever satisfy us."

"But then we found out about Dad's old hobby." Jack smiled, almost looking exactly like his father.

Jill also smiled. "He had so many special toys that we had to play with them ourselves."

"Y'see, toy collecting is very expensive."

"Babysitting's paying alright, but we put our heads together-"

"-and figured out we'd make more off these little brats if we just kidnapped them and held them for ransom!"

Jill asked, "But how much are we asking for, Jack?"

"I'd say…" Jack put on an extremely fake thinking expression. "250,000 dollars for each kid."

"Preferably in cash."

"And we'd like it by midnight."

"Otherwise, we're gonna start acquainting these kids with Dad's special toys." Jill pulled out some chattering teeth from a box. As she wound them up, the signal cut out.

Harold knew the twins were creepy, but he never suspected they were wannabe supervillains. He looked up to see Barbara trying not to cry. She could lose her child tonight.

Harold would not let that happen. He would never wish that kind of heartbreak on someone else. Not even her.

Barbara said, "I'm sorry, Harold. I was never told that your son was in the apartment. I don't kill children. After my son was born, I-I realized that if anything were to happen to him, I..."

She wiped away a tear.

"But...that's no excuse for what I did. Just please understand that...I really am sorry."

Harold still could not forgive Barbara for what she had done. At the same time, he realized that she was tricked.

Still, Harold had one question on his mind: "When you said you loved me...was that a lie too?"

"What do you think?"

Darkwing did not answer the question. It seemed rhetorical, anyway. He turned his attention back to the kidnapped children. He rewatched the video and tapped at the background. He told Barbara, "Thanks to some modifications S.H.U.S.H. made to my phone, I can track where Jack and Jill made their initial broadcast. We're going to rescue those children."

The sheep did a double take. "Excuse me, 'we'? You want me to help you save the day as Collateral Ramage? Can't you call up Gizmoduck for help or something?"

"I think the old Darkwing would pitch a fit if he knew I teamed up with Gizmoduck."

"He'd prefer you work with the enemy?"

"Probably. We'll find out together, won't we?" Darkwing told Barbara, "You should get into uniform. I need to tell my team what I'm planning to do."

She did as she was instructed, if only to help him save her son. In her room, in her closet, in a backpack, was her armor. She put it on.

Meanwhile, Darkwing 2.0 waited for Barbara on the living room's couch. He sent the Mallard family a text message: I'll handle Jack and Jill. If I'm not back from this by midnight, you can come looking for me

No one argued against Darkwing's plan, but Gosalyn sent him an electronic version of Quackerjack's file. Most of it was stuff the twins already mentioned in their dialogue, but Darkwing read it thoroughly. By the time he had finished reading, Barbara came out in her all-concealing Collateral Ramage outfit.

"Ready to head out?" she asked, her voice modulated through her helmet.

"Ready as I'll ever be."

The elevator ride down from the penthouse and the walk to the Ratcatcher was quiet. Darkwing drove his motorcycle to where Jack and Jill had taken the kids, while Collateral Ramage sat in the sidecar. Even the roar of the engine did not compel either costume-clad character to converse.

The warehouse looked like any other in the district, but the tracker brought Darkwing to this one specifically. He told Ramage "Stay close to me," as they both hopped out of the Ratcatcher. The front door to the warehouse was open – Jack and Jill were expecting a confrontation.

As soon as Darkwing and Ramage entered the warehouse, they saw toys in every corner, with thin paths around to walk through the place. This had definitely been Quackerjack's lair. Darkwing heard the jingle of bells through the warehouse. These were definitely Quackerjack's kids. He turned towards the noise and almost jumped into Ramage when he found the twins were right beside them.

Jack snickered, "Aw, did we scare you?"

"I was hoping it would take more to make you jump," Jill said.

Darkwing 2.0 quickly recovered and pointed his gas gun at the twins. "Where are the kids?"

"We separated them," Jack answered.

Jill stated, "Put them into blocks, with air holes."

"It will take you all night to find them~" Jack sing-songed.

Jill stated, "Better just give us the money, Dip-wing."

Darkwing chuckled, "Well, there's the problem: superhero-ing doesn't pay well."
"And I would never give you ransom for a child," Ramage added.

Jack huffed. "You're not making this very fun."

"You want fun? Let's play hide and seek." Darkwing shot at the ground and smoke poured around the four of them. When the smoke cleared, he and Ramage were gone.

Jill looked at her brother. "They couldn't have gotten too far."

Jack told his sister, "You find the ram. I'll find Darkwing."

She gave him a thumbs-up. "Sounds good, bro!"

They quickly cartwheeled off in different directions.

Darkwing found Jack before Jack found Darkwing. The jester was pulling something out of a box that the superhero didn't see until he turned around. Jack was now wearing gloves that had a keyboard in the palm of each hand.

"A set of Power Gloves? From a video game?" Darkwing 2.0 tsked. "What would Dad say?"

"He became lenient about video games after having kids," Jack said. "But after tonight, we'll be lucky if Dad pays our bail."

"You'll be lucky if you kids even make bail."

Jack ignored him and pressed the keys on the gloves' palms. Lightning started shooting from his fingertips. Darkwing continued to roast him: "And electricity…not very original, especially when Megavolt's still active."

"Who do you think supercharged these things for me?"

Right, Megavolt and Quackerjack used to be close. If Quackerjack's kids were villains, Megavolt would help them however he could.

Darkwing kept his distance as Jack shot lightning at him. If he wasn't going to get close, Jack would force him to. The gloves doubled as a remote controller. With a few presses on the keys, an army of toys made from G.I. Melvins, tanks, and helicopters surrounded Darkwing and Jack. The hero treated them as if it was an actual army surrounding them.

Still, Jack explained, "These guys will shoot - to kill - if you get too far away from me." It wouldn't be that hard to stay alive, except Jack started zapping electricity at Darkwing's feet. He "danced" to keep from being shocked, but he couldn't keep it up forever.

A charged-up jester in front of him and a toy army behind him – Darkwing needed to think of a way out before either hit him. Wait, he still had his water gun from his fight with Firebird. He pulled it from his trenchcoat and found it was still half full after over a week of disuse.

It was time to fight toys with toys.

"I am the terror that flaps in the night…" Darkwing pointed the water gun at Jack's gloves. "I am the rain on your parade!"

Jack's eyes widened in shock. The headstrong hero had found a way out.

"I am Darkwing Duck!"

He took two quick shots, shorting out both of Jack's gloves. The jester tried to get them to shoot lightning, but it was useless. The army of toys dropped to the floor, lifeless again. Darkwing rushed in, yanked on one end of Jack's hat, and threw him. He screamed, "No fair!" as he landed in some boxes. Darkwing checked and found that underneath the boxes, Jack had fallen unconscious.

Jill found Collateral Ramage before Ramage found Jill. The "ram" was searching around for the blocks Jack and Jill talked about. She had found one. Just as she was going to open it, a spiked yo-yo hit the block. The child inside screamed and Ramage jumped.

The "ram" turned around to face Jill. She played with the yo-yo, spinning it in the air. "Don't come any closer! I know more tricks with this than most people ever learn!"

Jill hit Collateral Ramage with the spiked yo-yo a few times. The spikes on the toy were not pointy enough to puncture Ramage's suit. The worst they could do was leave a nasty bruise.

Still, Ramage couldn't let a teenage supervillain beat her into submission. When the yo-yo swung back to her, Ramage tried to grab it, but Jill was too fast pulling it back. Then, Jill went for Ramage's legs. Ramage jumped around, but that's when she saw the opening. She stomped on Jill's yo-yo with the full force of her hoof, breaking it into two useless halves.

Jill chuckled nervously and looked around for some other toy to use. "I-I'm sure I have some other trick up my sleeve…"

Ramage didn't give Jill time to search. She rammed right into the jester's chest with her helmet, knocking her out. When she saw Jill stay down, she muttered to herself, "Now to find my son…"

Within the hour, Jack and Jill had been arrested, the children had been rescued, and Barbara had found her son. In fact, she and Harold, as Collateral Ramage and Darkwing 2.0, had found Wally together. Ramage slid the lid off the block and Wally gasped. Darkwing quickly undid the jump rope around Wally's body. As soon as he was unbound, he jumped into Ramage's arms.

"Mommy~!"

Darkwing blinked. "Uh…he knows it's you?"

Ramage nodded. "He knows I'm in the 'remodeling' business. Are you going to talk to the police outside?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Take Wally with you." She gestured for Wally to go to Darkwing's side, and the child did. "They need to know every child from the video is accounted for, and they'll make sure he gets home safe. We can talk once you're done with the police, on the other side of the warehouse." Then she looked at her son and told him, "I promise I'll be back at the penthouse when you get there, okay?"

"Okay," Wally replied.

He grabbed Darkwing's hand, and Darkwing led him outside the warehouse to the other children. Some of the police took the children home. Those who stayed talked with Darkwing about what happened. They would investigate the warehouse in the morning.

Once the police left, Darkwing went to the other side of the warehouse. There, Ramage was waiting for him. He asked her, "So what happens now? I just… let you go?"

"It'll be best for both of us if I just leave, Harold. I know you'd never separate a mother from her son."

Darkwing was stunned to silence. Then he sighed through gritted teeth. "That's a low blow, even for you. But… yeah, I wouldn't. I still can't allow you to stay, though."

"Are you giving me a restraining order?"

"Basically. If you ever come back to St. Canard, I will find you and arrest you. You have six hours to leave my city. Now get out of my sight."

Well, there were worse ways to break up with someone. Ramage gave Darkwing one last longing look and said, "Goodbye, Harold."

"Goodbye, Barbara. Take care of Wally for me, okay?"

She didn't say anything. She simply left, wanting to keep her promise that she'd get back to the penthouse first. She needed to get there so they could leave St. Canard as soon as possible.

Everything Barbara cared about had been taken from her in one night. Yet, she got the most important thing, her son, back from a duck who, in another life, would have been her archnemesis. Tonight proved Harold did not need a mysterious protector watching over his shoulder. He was the mysterious protector, watching over St. Canard's shoulder.

Maybe if they ever saw each other again, she'd give him that line to use.

"I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the mysterious protector watching over St. Canard's shoulder. I am Darkwing Duck."