"~Ladies and gentlemen, non-binary specimens

The ceremony master has arrived

Queen Bee I be the H.P.I.C.

The hottest dog fresh off the grill, yeah that's the vibe…~"

The earbud fell to Stella's side as she looked down at the phone. The artist's name "Bee-lzebub" was floating on the screen.

"Oh, my gawd! That is Kesha's style!" Stella exclaimed.

She heard somebody's vomit echo through the hallways. Holding the front of her robe with one hand, she walked briskly to the master bedroom. Stolas was wrapped up in the blanket. His face was turned away from a device on the nightstand. Big bold letters highlighted the moon in the projection.

Stolas closed his eyes. "I… forgot to turn the alarm off."

"I see." Stella nodded. She sat down on the other side of the bed.

Stolas idly reached for the bandage on his shoulder. "I haven't had a proper talk with Blitz in months."

"Have you tried reaching out to him?" Stella asked.

"Calling him always seems to be at a bad time." Stolas shook his head. "I've sent him over a dozen texts, but his replies are noncommittal."

Stella hummed. "And he probably isn't patient enough to respond to snail mail."

"What can I do?" Stolas sat up and placed a hand over his eyes. "Should I give up on him altogether?"

Stella raised her brow. "Did he say he never wants to see you again?"

Stolas peeked through his fingers. "No, he said to only call him for a murder mission or for… sex."

Stella instinctively reached for her chest and winced. "Yeah, I suppose your last urgent call to him fits the former."

"And I don't want it to be just about sex." Stolas pushed the blanket down. "I think that reminds him too much about the prior obligation."

Before Stella could say another word, the phone rang. A three-worded sentence in cursive appeared that they hadn't seen in ages. Stolas screeched and his hand slammed down on his nightstand. He scrambled to pick up the phone.

"H-Hello?" he stammered.

"Stolas, hey! Are you free tonight?"

"Um, maybe?" Stolas's hand shook. "Why do you ask?"

"Great! Keep your balcony clear after sundown! I'm coming in!"

A long beep signaled the end of the call. Stolas stared wide-eyed as his hand dropped the phone. Shadow Gunter rushed around and caught the phone before he hung it up properly. Stolas pinched his cheek and yelped. No, that really had just happened.

"Well, I guess he doesn't mind the 'obligation'." Stella stood up and walked out of the room.

Meanwhile, Stolas was feeling nauseous again.

"~Thank you to the butterflies

In my stomach

I haven't felt this nervous since…~"

…

I.M.P. jumped down from the portal in the ceiling. As they did, Blitzo passed around some compliments. It was a pleasant surprise for everyone. Even the entrails that leaked through the closing portal and stained the floor couldn't ruin his good mood.

"It's rare to see you wear something… not bad," commented Moxxie.

"Yeah, well-first of all, f** you Mox." A moment of Blitzo's usual attitude snuck through before his smile returned. "I figure now's as good a time to break the dry spell between Stolas and me. It's been a few months."

Moxxie gaped in surprise. "A few months?"

Blitzo tapped the ring on his middle finger. "Ever since we got this thing, he hasn't been as pushy about a monthly romp. I've had time to really work myself and my stamina feels like it's at a maximum. Why not?"

"Oh, s**," said Loona. "Sounds like things are getting boring between you two."

"What?" Blitzo nearly laughed at the idea.

"Yeah." Loona doubled down. "Huge red flag. If someone wants to see someone else less and less, and they're giving outs like that, it tends to be a sign that they're tired of seeing them. They just want to be passive-aggressive about it."

"Myeah-mi-meh-mya-me," Blitzo mocked his daughter's tone. "What do you know about it, Loo-" He looked around at the space suddenly devoid of a hellhound. "Loona?"

His cell phone buzzed in his pocket. When he answered, Loona's voice said, "Because I do that all the time." The other end promptly hung up.

"Well, tits." Blitzo went into critical thought mode. "Looks like I've got to do Position 37 tonight."

"That's not even a thing," said Moxxie while he glanced at a business graph for the year. "Is it?"

"No worries, Mox." Blitzo's cheerful demeanor returned. "Before I'm done, he'll be eating out of my **s… if the gag will let him! Ah? Ah?"

Moxxie grit his teeth. "Stop."

"Oh, grow up, Mox." Blitzo waved dismissively. "Adults are horny." He started digging through his case of various objects. With each item he looked over, his seed of dread grew. "F**, we've already used everything in here. If Stolas is bored of this…"

Blitzo grabbed a "Hots" bag and walked toward the door. "I've got to up the ante. Mox, hold down the fort. Get some of the overdue paperwork done."

"What overdue paperwork?" asked Moxxie.

Blitzo dropped a pile of random papers on top of Moxxie's head, then left the building. It wasn't the pile that upset Moxxie as much as the misspellings.

…

The Lust Ring was the first place demons thought of for anything of a sexual nature. Blitzo was no exception as he wandered into one of the open stores. He looked around the dark department in confusion. Suddenly, every candle on the wall ignited. The demon behind the counter held between two fingers a stick, which led to a gravity-defying candle.

"Welcome, how may I assist you on this fine-" She turned around. "Oh, s**t. It's you."

"Barbie?" Blitzo nearly tripped over himself. "What are you doing here?"

"Had to find a new job," said Barb Wire. "You know, after my last job literally blew up in my face."

Blitzo sharply inhaled. "Yeah… did I mention I'm sorry about that?"

"Four times is a start." Barb shrugged. "I'd rather you didn't f** things up so badly in the first place." She pretended to smoke from the stick in her hands, even though she wasn't getting anything from it. "Anyway, store policy requires I treat all customers equally. What do you need?"

"Oh, right, uh…" Blitzo cleared his throat. "I'm looking for a candle that would invigorate a sexy time. Got anything?"

Barb made a sweeping gesture with her free hand. "Blitz, you're in the Lust Ring. Everything on sale is a sexy time. If you're going to be that vague, I'll recommend the most expensive item in stock."

Blitzo exhaled. "You know what? I'll take your recommendation if only to save you a hassle."

Barb cracked a small smile. "First smart choice you've made in years."

As Barb was busy wrapping up the gift, Blitzo thought he heard someone else chatting. But when he turned his head, there was nobody behind him. He shrugged and silently groaned when he heard the price of his purchase. Still, he managed to pay it without issue.

"I'm sure your boyfriend will love it," said Barb.

"He's not… exactly my boyfriend. He…" Blitzo fumbled.

"Would you prefer I called you his concubine?" Barb teased. "Or are you still afraid of big words, little brother?"

"Oh, come on!" Blitzo exclaimed. "You only came out first by about five minutes!"

Barb chuckled. "I changed my mind. It was good to see you tonight."

Blitzo tried and failed to hide his redder than usual face. "Good night, Barbie." He rushed out of the store.

As far as he could tell, the rest of Blitzo's shopping trip went without incident. He got a stretchy slap belt from a dominatrix store. He even managed to pull in a favor from Fizz to receive one of Ozzie's… top quality products. He was lucky enough to find a stray trinket on the ground. He nearly tripped over a sleeping demon, but he felt ready to reignite excitement in his favorite owl prince.

…

Stella sat at the end of the motel bed she hadn't seen in months. Her eyes were focused on a book in her hands. Octavia was sprawled out on the other bed, scrolling through posts on her phone. Her brow suddenly rose as she double tapped one spot.

"Hey, Mom?" Octavia glanced over. "I thought the angels only had clearance to enter the Pride Ring."

Stella turned her attention. "Yes. Once a year, the Exterminators get access to Pride's sinner population to cull as many as they can."

"Then, what are Cherubs doing in Lust?" Octavia held up her phone.

Stella looked on in confusion. The account looked familiar enough as Loona's profile. But the highlighted images showed off I.M.P. in combat with three other entities. Upon closer examination, Stella's eyes widened as she recognized the faces of the armored angels. From what she remembered in the only episode that had them, she was sure they had been bound to Earth.

"Mom? Hello?" Octavia waved her hand.

"Wha? Oh! Sorry." Stella shook her head. "Uh, you're right. That is strange."

Octavia shrugged before turning the phone back to herself. She typed up a response to the most recent picture. Stella's eyes returned to the pages of her book, but her mind was elsewhere. If the Cherubs could make a return appearance, what could be next? Was the first human family Moxxie ever killed going to somehow survive that police missile launcher and swear vengeance?

'And maybe your brother will rise from his ashes and convince you to act like the b***h you really are,' thought Striker.

Stella squinted. 'You're making fun of me, aren't you?'

'No s**t,' Striker confirmed.

…

Stolas sat, facing the balcony, wearing his full royal attire. He was looking down, eyes glancing between his folded hands and his crossed legs. A loud bag landed, drawing his attention to the balcony. Blitzo clambered over the handlebar in a fancier shirt and tie than usual. It looked like his friend, and it certainly acted like him, showing off some new gear for, in, and around the bedsheets.

"Blit-" Stolas coughed into his fist. "Blitz, may I… ask you some personal questions… before we do anything?"

"Y-Yeah, sure. Alright." Blitzo's enthusiasm waned a little as he stored the big bad toy into its capsule. "What's up?"

"Are you… feeling alright?" Stolas held his hands apart. "Like, no injuries? Are you under the weather?"

"Oh, don't you worry!" Blitzo waved dismissively. "If I had a cold, I would've postponed this little romp session. Even if I were sick, I'd make us both think we're in heat before I'm done. Ha?"

"Okay, what about… external factors?" Stolas looked around. "Is someone holding a gun to your head? Blink once for 'yes'."

Blitzo blinked twice. "F**k, Stolas. You honestly think I wouldn't blow out the other side's head if somebody threatened me? Hell, I'd be dancing in the blood of anyone stupid enough to try."

"Ah, right." Stolas scratched his neck before turning all four of his eyes to the visitor. "So, what made you choose to initiate this get-together tonight?"

"Chee-zuts, Stolas. Is playing twenty questions your new safe word?" Blitzo tilted his head. "I thought you wanted me to want you back. And I miss plowing those tail feathers! Why overthink it?"

"I just…" Stolas pulled off his crown-hat. "I want to believe you're doing this because you want to, not because of any conditioning I've inadvertently left upon you."

Blitzo scoffed as he leaned against a bedpost. "You didn't order me to buy the expensive s**t. I brought these toys because I want to excite us both."

Stolas slowly nodded. "Alright, one last thing."

Blitzo groaned and sat down on the bed. "What?"

"Have you had enough time to decide how you feel about me?"

Blitzo stared into space. White noise filled his head. The multiple meetings and sessions with Stolas flashed in his mind. Shadows distorted into each other until one quiet memory pierced everything else.

'Why are you doing all of this for me? For I.M.P.?'

'Because I love you.'

Stolas wasn't sure what happened. One minute, he was asking Blitzo a series of questions. The next, his best friend was pinning him to the bedspread. The imp's claws dug pitifully into the owl's shoulders.

"B-Blitz?!" Stolas called out. "What's wrong?"

"Dammit, Stolas." Despite Blitzo's ferocious expression, water dripped from his eyes. "It was bad enough but simple, when all you had was a fishing lure with the key to my business over my head. But you have the balls to pull on my heartstrings and play serenades with them?"

Stolas shook as he stared up. "I…I'm a monster."

"No, you dumb**s," Blitzo countered. "Whatever form your leash takes, you're an owner and I'm a pet. I can't live my f**ing life without you in it. Not anymore."

Stolas's own eyes gathered water. "Blitz, I'm sor-ermph!"

Blitzo's mouth leaned down and covered the beak. Their tongues met. Their faces felt so warm.

"Shut the f**k up," Blitzo said between kisses. "Just shut the f**k up."

This wasn't right. Stolas knew he couldn't let the conversation end like this. But the little imp wouldn't let go of his mouth to let him get another word in. It was taking its toll on Stolas's willpower too. His arms and legs wrapped around, waking up to the instincts that had been sleeping for months.

The bag of expensive merchandise sat untouched for the rest of the night.