"You are your father's son. You are my son. You are the Duke Paul Atreides."
Fighting desperation, Jessica spoke firmly into her son's ears, tears falling down her face.
"You know who you are. You know who you are"
The Voice came from Paul, "GET OFF ME"
She backed away immediately, filled with both shock and grief. Shock that her son demonstrated such command over the Voice. Grief that he used this ability to push her away.
"You did this to me! You Bene Gesserit made me a freak!"
Deep sadness welled up in Jessica as she looked at her son in his distress. It was the guilt of a mother who realizes she has inadvertently caused her child to experience pain. She hated to see him this way. Had she brought this upon him? How could she make him understand?
She spoke in a low voice, "I know what you heard from the Reverend Mother, Paul. But you must know that you were not born to me a son instead of a daughter because I believed I could produce the Kwizats Haderach."
She paused, allowing time for her son to understand what she was saying, "You were born to me a son because your father desired an heir, and I desired to give that to him."
She watched Paul in his distress. His sweat and tears mingling on his cheeks. How could she make him understand?
"Paul," she whispered. Her tender voice made him look up to meet her eyes.
She spoke gently, as a mother, yet with firmness, "Paul, I have been trained and indoctrinated from a very early age. In my life I have defied only one instruction given to me by the Bene Gesserit. They ordered my days from infancy until I was sent to live as your father's concubine on Caladan where my purpose would be to bear daughters. This was my one defiance. You must understand that I could only defy this order for your father. I felt kindness for the first time from the Atreides house. Your father taught me—"
Her voice cracked at the memory of Leto's tenderness towards her when she first arrived on Caladan. It was true she had not experienced kindness before Caladan. She was cared for by the Bene Gesserit, but her childhood was void of the love that children need. She looked again at Paul, tears streaming down both of their faces. Jessica reached towards her son, and he melted into her arms as if he were still just a boy. His mother's familiar embrace was a comfort to him, and together, they cried for their loss.
"My father is dead."
Paul's body shook with sobs. Jessica pulled him in tightly, stroking her son's hair. Her son. Leto's son.
What a waste of the body's water are these tears.
And yet, they could not be stopped.