Things grew tense and heated in the base camp as the military and the canosapiens argued over what to do about the team trapped out in the wilderness.

"We have smaller vehicles, but they're too lightly armored and can't carry much firepower," observed a sergeant. "At best we could pull odd mosquito attacks, and we'd be putting our men at risk."

A corporal snapped to attention before speaking. "With respect, sergeant, those men are already at risk – and one woman. We would be neglecting civilians in harm's way if we did nothing."

Blitz was getting impatient… well, more impatient than usual, which was something. Not only did the others seem to be botching the mission, but more importantly they were hogging all the action while he listened to these humans argue like puppies.

"I can get us in dere," he snapped.

Shag shrank as much as anyone his size could shrink. "Roo?" he asked nervously.

"Yah me, snowball," Blitz snapped, turning and jabbing a finger at his chest. "Exile said dat doohickey machine of his could handle anyting! And if it doesn't, I'll make it handle!"

This didn't satisfy Shag at all, but after eyeing them skeptically the commander nodded. "If you boys have a miracle up your sleeves, now's the time to pull it out. Take your vehicle and try to pick them up. I'll cut my ground forces around to the north and east and try to be ready to reinforce you. As soon as our birds are ready to fly, we'll cover you from above."

"Yah, you can pick up dose girly-man baddies aftah we smash dem to bits," Blitz boasted.

As he and Shag left with exactly opposite levels of confidence, one of the soldiers looked uneasily at his commander. "With all due respect, sir, these special forces act like they stepped out of a hokey cartoon show or something. Are you sure they're reliable?"

The commander rubbed his chin. "They are unprofessional, but General Malone hasn't given me a bad recommendation yet. Now let's stop worrying about their reliability and make sure they can count on us. Form up, men, and move out on the double!"

As one body the troops saluted and snapped up straight. "Sir, yes sir!"

Faced with continued pursuit, the retrieval team continued to play keep-away further and further into the mountainous terrain. At every possible juncture they managed to shake off some of their pursuers, usually in painful ways Hunter couldn't help thinking would look great in a Saturday morning cartoon. It would have been a lot funnier if, for all that effort, the pursuing crowd didn't continue to thicken like a horde of lemmings behind them.

"Hallo-ooooh!" came a sudden voice from Colleen's hip. Despite the crackly radio tone, it was unmistakably Blitz.

Colleen grabbed the handset, then had to elbow an encroaching goon away from her handlebars. "Mind a girl's space, guvnuh," she snapped. "This is a personal call, y'know. Hello, Susie Derkins to Calvin. Ovah."

"Susie what?" echoed Blitz, puzzled.

Colleen rolled her eyes, making a mental note that maybe it had been a mistake to let Hunter assign the code names. "This is Colleen. I hear you. Your turn to talk," she clarified.

"Oh, ya. I am coming to save your pretty tail now. Ah you alright?"

'A lot bettah than you'll be when I see you again,' she thought. "Let's keep this professional, alright?" she suggested.

"But we're not getting paid," Hunter pointed out.

"Yeah, and you're not helping," she countered.

While the two of them argued, Exile's driving seemed to be getting more and more erratic.

"Exile, what are you doing?" called Hunter.

"Am trying to McCallister-ski this thingymajig!" Exile called back, narrowly avoiding a collision with a boulder.

Colleen briefly forgot her annoyance and looked across to Hunter. "McCallister? Is he planning a death trap?"

Hunter shrugged. "We could use one!"

"Nyet! Trying to- dah!" he exclaimed in sudden satisfaction. "Have locked onto location of other canine comrades! This way-ski! Start Russian!"

Hunter was starting to suspect Exile had meant 'MacGyver,' but decided not to dwell on it as he and Colleen steered after their husky friend. He made a mental note to ask everyone later if 'Canine Comrades' would make a good team name. The three of them began to maneuver uphill, trying repeatedly to cut towards where their backup support was supposed to be. The bad guys in pursuit, unfortunately, had other ideas and kept heading them off, trying to drive them into rougher territory.

"Hey, Colleen!" Hunter called as they pressed ahead, trying to stay close enough to be audible without making them both an easy two-for-one target. "In case we don't make it out of this, I want you to know…"

His words were drowned out by a particularly loud burst of gunfire.

"Not the time to flirt, Hunter!" she shouted back.

Hunter blinked in confusion. Flirt? he thought. He'd been trying to own up to eating the last of the Milk Bones.

Back at the base with the American troops, Blitz was getting impatient with the feed on his teammates' location. "What ah dey doing?!" he demanded in an ecstasy of anger. "Why do dey keep going away?!"

The commander examined the screen. "Looks like the mercenaries are intercepting them. If they can't get to us soon, they'll be out of gas and out of time."

Shag tried to ask something even Blitz couldn't translate.

"Worst case of laryngitis I ever heard," muttered one of the soldiers. "If I didn't know better I'd think it was a dog talking."

"Save your commentary!" snapped the commander. He returned his attention to the screen, then noticed Blitz was on his way out with Shag reluctantly in tow.

"Where are you two going?!" he demanded.

"I thought you were da smarty-man!" answered Blitz. "We're taking da pahty to dem. Now!"

"I didn't authorize any such move!" countered the commander, pointing at them.

Blitz folded his arms. "Dat's da point of being freelancers, ya? We're not sitting around while the othahs get deir heinies cooked."

The commander gazed after them with clenched teeth and a furrowed brow as they left. "Blasted civilians," he fumed, wishing there was time to give these rookies a taste of US Army 101.

"What should we do, commander?" asked one of the soldiers.

He put a hand to his chin, thinking it over. "Couple of idiots like that will make a spectacle of themselves," he reasoned. "Send in three crack teams on a flanking maneuver. Let them get the mercenaries' attention, then snipe from the rear."

"Hoo-ah!" chorused the soldiers.

Fortunately, Exile's modifications to the team's vehicle gave it a major boost to speed and maneuverability. Even more fortunately, the main controls were simple enough even Shag could figure them out.

"Ach du liba!" shouted Blitz as they motored through the mountain forest. "Get to dem! Shnell! Fastah!"

"Ro ruhruh," mumbled Shag, trying not to wreck too many of the trees in their way. Unfortunately, the forest was so thick there was little avoiding it.

"Who cares about dah trees?!" demanded Blitz. "Dey will grow back!"

It wasn't very long before they began to see signs of the clash in the distance. They had come up on the rough line of Havoc's forces zipping between the capture team and their line of escape.

"Let's give dem fireworks, yah?" asked Blitz, jumping to the controls of the main guns. He took aim at a cluster of the enemy forces and let loose.

BOOM! A massive explosion blew a hole in the line… about fifty yards behind anywhere Hunter, Colleen, and Exile could have used it.

"Rohruh reh!" cried Shag.

"Shut up, snowball!" shouted Blitz, adjusting his aim. It took him five or six more shots before he made an opening their teammates could use.

"This way, Bark Squad!" Hunter shouted when the opportunity came.

"Hey!" Colleen yelped as a covering shot drove back five or six attackers trying to flank her. She might have appreciated that if it hadn't almost hit her in the process. "Watch who you're blasting, Blistah!" she shouted into her radio.

"Dat's Blitz!" Blitz hollered back. "Don't see you doing any bettah!"

"Well let's switch places next time!" she countered.

Hunter veered to clip a snowmobile going after Colleen, sending it into a spinout. Unfortunately, the collision also teetered his snowmobile off-balance, and after several efforts to correct he was forced to bail out.

"Incoming!" he shouted, giving Colleen just enough warning before he landed on the back of her ride. "Uh, mind if I hitch-hike?" he asked, trying to lighten the mood.

She rolled her eyes. Out of all the dogs in the world, I end up with these boys.

Exile radioed to the APC. "Blitz, Shag, open the back door-ski and turn broadside!"

"Ruh?" asked Shag, frowning first at the radio and then at the controls.

"Turn the tank-rover left and open back!" Exile reiterated.

It took a little doing, but Shag managed to pivot the vehicle - although he took it to the right instead - and get the rear gate dropped.

"Comrade Colleen, shoot past and jump in-ski! We give them misdirection, yes?"

Finally, a bloke with some brains, she thought to herself. "On your six, Exile."

"On his what?" asked Hunter, who had only heard Colleen's half of things. Then he saw they were lining up behind the husky. "Oh, right."

"Get ready to jump," she told him. "And try not to land on me this time."

Hunter coughed. "I hope you know that wasn't-"

"Now!" Colleen yelled.

Hunter jumped with her, leaving their snowmobile to follow Exile's straight into a ravine not far away. Colleen landed catlike on the tailgate. Hunter landed like a sack of potatoes on Exile.

"Ouch!" exclaimed the husky.

"Not my most elegant day," Hunter reflected as he tried to disentangle himself. "Sorry, Exile."

Exile groaned. "I know whose back you are on," he protested, "but whose side-ski are you on?"

He was just about to get loose when Colleen noticed that, though the armored side of their vehicle was offering some shelter, the attackers would soon have an easy shot straight in. "Shut the door, Shag!" she ordered.

Shag pulled the lever he had pushed to drop the gate, and with a whir of hydraulics the massive door lifted, tumbling Hunter and Exile over one another into the relative safety within. Exile now found himself on Hunter. "Sorry, comrade."

"Don't - ow - mention it," Hunter replied as he accepted Exile's paw helping him up.

The enemy forces closed in, trying to back the team up against a ravine. Suddenly a squad of drones and sniper forces on snowmobiles and ATVs of their own appeared from the woods, firing into the mass and forcing them to scatter.

"More enemies!" Blitz exclaimed, turning the gun to fire before Colleen dashed up and caught his hand.

"They're on our side, Blinky!"

"Dat's Blitz!"

Exile slipped up between Blitz and Shag at the control panel, nudging them both out of the way. "I don't care who you are, we are getting out-ski!" he declared, revving the engines into high gear.

The tank Rover whipped to the side, peeling off along the edge of the ravine. Half the mercenary forces withdrew from the fray to follow, leaving the other half to contend with the US forces.

"So what's the plan, Exile?" asked Hunter, coming up alongside him.

"Shoot the ones following-ski," the husky replied. "I am working to give them pink slip."

Colleen balked at this remark. "Well, you're not giving them mine!" she snapped.

Unfortunately for Exile's plans, the ground was sloping upward ahead of them, putting their larger, heavier vehicle at a marked disadvantage. To one side, a straight shot back into enemy territory. To another side, a deadly ravine.

"I hope you 'ave an idea here, Exile," Colleen remarked.

"Is work in progress," the husky defended, eyeing the windows and the panel displays of their surroundings. He seemed to be running an overview of the surrounding area.

"I say we should turn and fight dem!" shouted Blitz. Shag, already rattled, rebelled at this idea by ducking into a corner and covering his head.

Exile scowled. "Bolshoi! Everyone is always rushin' me!"

A light he was eyeing on the control panel switched from red to yellow, making him frown in confusion.

"Am not used to color vision. What does yellow-ski mean?" he asked, scratching his head.

"I think it means 'caution,'" Colleen supplied.

"I thought it meant hurry up before the light turns red," Hunter countered.

She eyed him sideways. "That explains what happened to the simulator," she remarked.

Exile shrugged. "No time like present to find out-ski. Hang onto tails, comrades!" He cut around a boulder, then whipped to the side. Everyone's eyes bulged at the view ahead of them.

"Exile," Colleen shouted, "You're headin' us right off a bloomin' cliff!"

Hunter looked ahead anxiously. "You have a plan, right bud? Fake right and break left or something?"

Exile shook his head and pulled a lever. "Fake nothing. Break them," he announced as a thud shook the craft. Shag whimpered at the jolt, and Blitz asked what was on everyone's mind.

"What was dat?"

"Ejecting armor plates," Exile replied as two pursuers crashed into the abandoned parts. "We need to shed extra load-ski before we reach cliff!"

"Oh, so we don't land so ha-AAAAHHH!" shrieked Colleen as they shot off into open air.

As an alarm blared, Exile struggled with the controls. "The whirly's working," he shouted, "but the crushies are stuck!"

"English, Exile!" Hunter answered. "We've got five seconds to live!"

'Five seconds?' thought Blitz, panic seizing his brain. He feared no enemy, but cold, hard ground rushing up to meet him was kind of another story.

Exile stamped his foot in frustration, and the vehicle gave a sharp lurch as something seemed to break loose under them.

"Oof!" everyone grunted as, for an instant, all their weights seemed to quadruple.

"Ah, much better now," Exile announced with satisfaction, dusting himself off as he rose. Curiously enough, the vehicle seemed to be rising too.

"What just happened?" asked Hunter.

Exile grinned broadly. "I turn tank into heli-chopper. Beat that, bad guys!"

Back on the cliff's edge, their pursuers stared in surprise as a helicopter rose phoenix-like from the remnants of a tank. For the briefest moment it turned to face them, and one of the occupants raised a mask to blow them a raspberry.

"They're… dogs?!" exclaimed one, turning to his superior. "That's a distortion of the windshield, right?"

The superior saw no need to answer as he opened a compartment on his vehicle and drew out a launcher. "They're about to be dead," came his simple, ominous reply.

Inside the now-airborne vehicle of no fixed name, Colleen hastily pushed Shag's helmet back in place. "Shag, you're gonna blow our covah!"

"Ruh ruh-ruh rah?" inquired Shag.

"Eh, probably not the best idea," Hunter admitted. Then, with a chuckle, he added, "But I've gotta admit it was pretty funny."

Colleen folded her arms. "That reminds me. If you call us the Bark Squad again, I'm quitting to join a girls' volleyball team."

Pushing away the thought that Colleen would look great on a v-ball court, Hunter shrugged. "What about K-9 Crew?"

An alarm blared from the console, drawing an answering cry from Exile. "Bolshoi! he cried. "Everyone buckle down!"

"I think the expression is buckle up," Hunter replied. "And why-?"

A thunderous explosion shook the craft as the rotors - and part of the roof - perished in the blaze of a rocket-propelled grenade.

"Oh. Never mind," Hunter added with relative calm, bolting for the nearest of the snowmobile-style seats.

"Why ah you sitting dere, crazy?" demanded Blitz.

"Well, it transformed once when we were about to crash," Hunter reasoned, "so why not?"

Everyone else looked at Exile, who shrugged. "Actually, he is right-ski. Get on, comrades!"

So there we are, Rover fans. Another chapter for your enjoyment. I realize some of the character dynamics in the chapter - Colleen's especially - differ considerably from the cartoon. My reasons for this will, I hope, be satisfactory in the long run, but suffice to say Colleen's relationship with the res tof the team is going to be on-again, off-again.

I will also confess I'm not sure how I feel about the quality of this chapter. Still looking for a proofreader, if someone would care to quality-check my upcoming chapters. Having been in the military, especially as I've only just finished basic training and AIT, makes it hard to put US soldiers alongside a comedic team like the Road Rovers. But, I hope this chapter was enjoyable at least.

For those who didn't know, "Hoo-ah!" is technically supposed to be spelled "HUA," short for "Heard, Understood, Acknowledged." I kept the more civilian spelling to make it easier reading.

I tried to weave in the "please consider therapy" gag involving Blitz and someone he thought was Colleen, as seen in the original cartoon, but it just wasn't working for this chapter. Maybe for the best; we'll see.