The disclaimer telling you that I don't own any Ghosts characters is at a party somewhere. What was Isaac and Nigel's engagement party like? Here's how I think it went down.

The Engagement Party

"Jay this looks great," Sam looked at the decorated living room. There were festive lights and scented candles in the room. There was food on the table. Music was playing on the Alexa. There were two balloons in the corner saying Congratulations. And a banner saying Congratulations Isaac and Nigel!

"This is nice," Sam told Jay. "It's a nice party."

"Yup," Jay remarked. "Nothing better than standing alone in an empty room where a party should be."

"The ghosts are really happy you helped with Isaac and Nigel's engagement party," Sam told him. "And they love the food."

"That's right," Jay remarked as he looked at the empty room. "I put food out for the ghosts so they can smell them. And later you and I can eat so we don't waste food and money."

Isaac, Nigel, Hetty, Thorfinn and Alberta were standing nearby the table with Jay and Sam. "Oh someone's being a bit of a tightwad," Isaac remarked. "Serving his wife previously smelled food."

"Oh, be charitable darling," Nigel remarked. "I think it's lovely what Jay and Samantha have done for us."

"Yes, food smells good," Thorfinn sighed. "Flower loved food. She ate lots of food in life. And smelled lots of food in death."

"That's right Thorfinn," Isaac sighed. "Keep the conversation light and cheerful."

Alberta tried to change the subject. "I'm glad that Sam plugged in the Alexa again so that I could control the music."

Nigel added. "And I'm glad you put on the Spice Girls. They are so upbeat."

"They're no Ma Rainey or Ida Cox but they have some bounce to their music," Alberta admitted. "Don't worry Isaac I'll be sure I put on some music from your time."

"Oh, that's all right Alberta," Isaac told her. "Some of this modern music is quite catchy. As long as it's not the soundtrack to Hamilton I'm quite flexible."

"I don't know," Nigel remarked. "There is that one song I like."

"Oh dear," Isaac sighed.

"You're not fooling me," Nigel gave him a look. "You know it's a good song."

"Well," Isaac paused. "I suppose since it is our engagement party…"

"I got ya," Alberta smirked. "Alexa! Play…"

From Jay's point of view, it seemed strange when the music changed. "Is that from Hamilton?" Jay blinked.

"Yes," Sam groaned. "It's The Reynolds Pamphlet."

"Ah," Jay nodded. "Isaac?"

"Nigel this time," Sam corrected as she saw Isaac and Nigel happily bop to the song.

"Never gonna be president now!" Both Isaac and Nigel sang. "Never gonna be president now! Never gonna be president now!"

"That's one less thing to worry about!" Isaac cheerfully sang.

"One less thing to worry about!" Nigel added.

"Well then," Hetty said to the other ghosts. "Nigel and Issac have found their song."

Alberta had a question. "Did you and Elias have a song?"

"Actually, we did," Hetty remarked. "We both loved that timeless classic, The Drunken Irishmen That Drowned In The Well. Elias had the servants sing it every anniversary and special occasion. Elias sang that song himself quite convincingly."

"Flower loved music," Thorfinn sighed. "She died walking from music concert."

"I know," Alberta groaned. "I was there. I still have nightmares about that bear. That very hungry bear. So much blood." She shuddered.

"Oh, this is such a wonderful party," Nigel gushed as he and Isaac finished.

"I agree," Isaac sighed happily. "What better way to celebrate our engagement and our impending nuptials?"

Thorfinn sighed. "Thorfinn was married once. Loved wife greatly. But Thorfinn died. Eventually wife died. Then Thorfinn met other women. They got sucked off. Left Thorfinn alone. Alone with thoughts of darkness, despair…and occasionally cod. Cod was always good to eat when depressed. Which Thorfinn can't do anymore. All Thorfinn has are memories. And darkness. And despair. Thorfinn now go stand by window and ponder bleakness of existence."

"O-kay then," Isaac groaned as Thorfinn walked away. "Here's an idea, let's not ask Thorfinn to do the wedding toast."

Hetty nodded. "That might be a wise tactic."

"I have a question," Sasappis remarked as he walked up to them. "Who invited the ghosts from the Cholera Pit?"

"WHAT?" Hetty did a double take. "How did those creatures sneak up here?"

"Oh, it's all right," Nigel told her. "I invited them."

"You invited the Cholera Pit?" Isaac recoiled.

"Mostly to be polite," Nigel explained. "It is a special occasion. And our Ant Watching Club does use the basement sometimes."

"Oh, I see," Isaac coughed. "Since it was for a diplomatic purpose, I suppose I cannot begrudge this tiny little intrusion."

"Only Cody and Creepy Dirk came with Nancy," Alberta explained. "Apparently most of the Cholera Pit ghosts are still ticked off at Pete."

"Hence why we invited them," Nigel added. "Baxter is here as well."

"But not Jenkins?" Alberta asked.

"Oh god no," Isaac remarked. "I didn't want that man anywhere near this party!"

"As did I!" Nigel added.

"Oh, that's good," Hetty said. "As I always say, sometimes it's who you exclude that truly makes a party."

"I see your point," Isaac remarked.

"It does apply in this case," Nigel agreed.

The other ghosts were enjoying themselves. "Now this is a fun party," Trevor remarked to Crash and Pete. "We needed this."

Crash spoke up. "Gotta admit this is a real nice shindig!"

"Yeah, it's great," Pete gulped nervously. "Just great."

"This reminds me a little of this engagement party I went to for this guy at work," Trevor explained. "Bob Weisser. There were tons of strippers there!"

Pete did a double take. "Strippers? At an engagement party? Didn't the guy's fiancé mind?"

"His fiancé invited them," Trevor told him. "She used to be a stripper. That's how they met. They were her friends from work."

"I'm guessing they provided some real good entertainment," Crash snickered.

"Did they ever," Trevor grinned.

"Man Trev," Crash smirked. "You finance guys always seem to have the craziest parties."

"Hey when you put in a hard 80-hour work week," Trevor told him. "You'd better play hard!"

"Maybe I should have thought about being in the whole money racket?" Crash remarked. "I always did have a head for figures."

"So did Bob," Trevor remarked. "If you'd seen his wife you'd know that!"

Both Trevor and Crash laughed. Then Trevor noticed something. "Pete why are you trying to hide behind me?"

"Yeah, considering Trev's wardrobe shouldn't it be the other way around?" Crash snickered.

"Hey you wish you had legs this good," Trevor smirked. "But seriously Pete? What are you doing?"

"I'm hiding from the Cholera Pit ghosts," Pete explained. "They're still mad at me. I know they're still mad at me."

"So, what do you care?" Crash asked. "There were tons of guys back in the day who didn't like me! So what?"

"Didn't one of them kill you?" Pete asked.

Crash looked at him. "What's your point Pete?"

"Those Cholera Pit ghosts are still giving me the evil eye," Pete groaned. "It's very creepy."

Crash blinked. "Don't they always look like that?"

"Well yes," Pete admitted. "But it's even more pointed than usual."

"They're not looking at you now Pete," Trevor told him. "They're too busy looking at the balloons."

It was true. On the other side of the room the ghosts from the Cholera Pit and Baxter were staring at the balloons. "So this is a balloon?" Creepy Dirk was amazed.

"Holy crap," Nancy remarked. "These are nice balloons!"

"Very nice," Baxter remarked. "They even have writing on them. Congratulations. How festive."

"Look at how those things just float in the air," Nancy was stunned. "Why do they float in the air again?"

"They are filled with a gas called helium," Baxter explained. "It's the latest thing."

"Helium," Nancy thought. "And this gas makes things float?"

"Apparently," Baxter nodded.

"The wonders of modern technology," Cody agreed. "They will never believe this down in the basement!"

"Shiny," Creepy Dirk whistled.

Meanwhile Sam was talking to Isaac and Nigel. "This party seems to be going well," Sam said. "The balloons seem to be a hit."

"We do have you and Jay to thank for it," Nigel said. "Where is Jay?"

"He had some stuff to work on for the restaurant," Sam explained. "Plus, he felt weird just standing around not seeing anything."

"Still," Isaac remarked. "Tell Jay his contribution was greatly appreciated. I haven't smelled food this good since the time Sophie hosted that party for that ladies' club she wanted to impress."

Nigel explained. "Back in the day your aunt and uncle hosted many a social occasion. In fact, this mansion was quite the social hub of this community for centuries."

"Really?" Sam asked.

"Oh yes," Hetty walked over to Samantha, having overheard the conversation. "Generations of Woodstones have held parties here that were the talk of high society. I myself hosted many a gala and function that was held in high esteem."

"Your aunt Sophie was one of the most respected women of the community," Nigel admitted. "Until you know? The scandals."

"The embezzlements, the land fraud deals, the affairs," Isaac recalled. "A few drunken incidents. The arrests. I'm sure the rumors of treason were mostly spread by jealous rivals."

"Oh dear," Sam groaned.

"The deaths didn't help either," Nancy remarked as she joined them. "Now that I think about it, this place started going downhill right around when Pete died."

"What?" Pete said as he walked over. "What do you mean by that?"

"As much as I'd hate to agree with the Creature from Below The Stairs…" Hetty remarked. "Nancy is right. Most of the other scandalous deaths could be swept under the rug thanks to some well-placed financial payments."

"She means bribes," Nancy added. "The Woodstones spent half of their money covering up the scandals the other half spent their money on!"

"Most of the more colorful deaths had few witnesses outside of the family," Hetty explained.

"Who knew how to keep their mouths shut because that meant they'd get a payout," Nancy added. "Or some cases committed the crimes. Like this one's kid."

"Who bribed the cops to put my death down as a heart attack," Alberta said very loudly as she walked over. "At first, I thought he just wanted to cover up my murder. Now I know why."

"I said I was sorry for that!" Hetty bristled. "How long are you going to hold onto that grievance?"

"How long am I gonna be dead?" Alberta gave her a look.

Nancy was impressed. "Okay, balloons, music, food and now a fight? This is a party!"

"It's not a fight. It's a mere temporary loud discussion," Hetty corrected Nancy. "Even Crash's death as gruesome as it was didn't stain the reputation of the mansion. It was only a temporary minor sensation but most people didn't blame the Woodstones. I mean let's face it, Crash was just a street ruffian with very little social prospects to begin with. It's not like his death was detrimental to society. Some people commented it might have been beneficial to it."

Crash had overheard along with the other ghosts in the room. "Feeling the love here Hetty," Crash said snidely.

"My point is," Hetty rolled her eyes. "Pete's death can be construed as a turning point in the fortunes of this once great and proud mansion."

"He was shot in front of a bunch of kids," Alberta remarked. "Who told their parents. One of them was a reporter for the local paper. No way that was gonna blow over!"

"It was quite sensational," Isaac added. "Admittedly not as damaging as when that chainsaw killer was around. But that was after Peter's death so…"

"Hang on!" Pete shouted. "What about Flower? She died before I did! She was mauled by a bear while high on mushrooms!"

"Just say shrooms Pete," Trevor groaned.

"You can't tell me that death didn't stain your precious mansion's reputation!" Pete snapped.

"True but Flower's death while admittedly odd," Hetty paused. "And quite shocking wasn't exactly an isolated incident. Well technically it was because she was the only one who was mauled to death by a bear."

Isaac explained. "A lot of people died at that concert. Or as a result of it. Apparently, drug overdoses and impaired driving was a common theme."

Sasappis added. "They were finding dead hippies for weeks in three towns."

"Flower's may have been the most colorful," Hetty went on. "But her death wasn't directly attributed to Woodstone itself. But the concert down the road."

"After a few years even the Woodstones kept repeating that story as an amusing anecdote to their rich friends," Isaac added. "Many of them also found dead or stoned concertgoers on their lawn. Or in their house. And in one case a car in their pool."

"So, we are all in agreement that it was Pete's death that started the downward spiral?" Hetty asked.

"EXCUSE ME?" Pete shouted.

"You're excused," Hetty said graciously.

"This guy caused everything to go to pot," Cody remarked. "What a shock."

"You can't blame me for that!" Pete protested. "What about Trevor's death? He died with no pants!"

"Oh, come on!" Trevor shot back. "This place was already going to Hell long before I OD'd on the rug and my bros dumped my body in the lake!"

"Plus, there was a cover up that lasted over twenty years so…" Sasappis paused. "Yeah, Trevor's doesn't count. Pete's does."

"I wish Trevor covered up before he died," Nigel grumbled.

"Really?" Trevor snapped.

"Don't listen to them," Creepy Dirk spoke up. "You do you!"

"Thank you!" Trevor said as he threw up his arms in frustration. "I can't help it if I have a hot body everyone can see!"

"What you saw in him I'll never understand," Nigel said to Hetty.

"Oh, I can see what she saw in him," Nancy snickered. "And so can the whole house."

"Trevor!" Sam groaned as she closed her eyes. "Lower your hands!"

"Sorry," Trevor adjusted his shirt.

"This party has officially had the three F's," Nancy quipped. "Food, fights and flashing!"

"So glad I came to this," Cody grinned.

"Flower loved flashing…" Thorfinn was heard sighing.

"I feel that we are all moving off topic here," Isaac spoke up. "This event is to celebrate the engagement of Nigel and myself! This is a happy occasion where enemies have become lovers!"

"And then one of the lovers broke off with the other lover and ran off with some other guy for a bit," Creepy Dirk spoke up.

"SERIOUSLY?" Nigel shouted.

"I'm not judging," Creepy Dirk added. "I'm for getting strange wherever you can."

"Not the only thing that's strange around here," Trevor grumbled.

"Strange?" Nigel blinked.

"It's slang we picked up from the plumber," Nancy remarked. "It means having sex with someone you don't know."

"Technically that doesn't apply in Nigel's case," Hetty corrected. "Nigel knew Jenkins for quite some time. And uh, had a few dalliances with him over the centuries."

"Hetty," Trevor gave her a look. "You of all people have no right to judge someone sneaking around behind other people's backs considering what you tried to do to me!"

"Oh my God!" Hetty snapped. "How many times do I have to tell you? I was only trying to date Thorfinn so I could get sucked off!"

"Okay I'm going downstairs," Sam sighed as she left the room. "Let me know when the party's over. It is for me!"

"I apologized for that!" Hetty protested.

"You didn't apologize to me!" Trevor shouted.

"Jenkins is going to be so mad he missed this," Baxter smirked.

"Oh, I wouldn't miss this for the world!"

Everyone turned to look. "Jenkins!" Isaac gasped.

"What the devil are you doing here?" Nigel barked.

"Trying to make you see sense!" Jenkins snapped. "You're making a huge mistake going over to the enemy! Like a reverse Benedict Arnold!"

"Oh, for God's sake Jenkins," Nigel snapped. "The war is over! It has been over for over two hundred and forty-seven years! Great Britan and America have made up! GET OVER IT! GET OVER ME!"

"Here we go," Nancy smirked to her fellow Cholera Pit ghosts. "This is gonna get good!"

"Get over you? That's rich! Especially when you come running back to me every time you get bored!" Jenkins shouted.

"We were only together two or three times," Nigel snapped. "And that last time Isaac and I were on a respite!"

"How long are you going to use that excuse? I am sick and tired of you…" Jenkins then noticed something. "Are those balloons?"

"They are," Nancy said.

"How are they just floating around like that?" Jenkins blinked.

"They have a gas called helium inside," Baxter explained. "It makes it float."

"Very festive," Thorfinn spoke up.

"Isaac had Samantha get them for the party," Hetty added.

"Oh so your Yankee Doodle can get people to buy you fancy things like balloons?" Jenkins did a double take. "With writing on them. They can do that now?"

"Yes," Nancy, Hetty, Sasappis and Alberta said at the same time.

"Apparently," Isaac remarked at the same time.

Jenkins looked at the balloon a few seconds more. "All right I admit that's impressive. But still, that doesn't give you the right to use me then throw me over for a common American rebel!"

"Isaac is anything but common!" Nigel protested. "He happens to be the man I love! And you Jenkins have proven to be a mutinous cantankerous…wretch!"

"First of all," Jenkins told Nigel. "It's not mutiny if you left us first!"

"Good point," Baxter admitted.

"Oh, you shut up!" Nigel glared at Baxter.

"Excuse me? You think it's easy for me alone in the shed with him all day?" Baxter pointed to Jenkins.

"What?" Jenkins snapped.

"You've become a right pain in the arse," Baxter told him. "Every day it's Nigel this. And Nigel that. Poor me! Wah, wah, wah! You think I like being stuck in the shed? Left behind with you?"

Creepy Dirk spoke up. "You can always come live in the basement with us."

"Yeah, there's always room in the Cholera Pit," Nancy added.

Baxter did a double take. "Then again, the shed isn't really that bad. Plenty of birds to watch and fresh air and all that."

"As usual you are no help," Jenkins grumbled at Baxter. He turned back to Nigel. "My point is that I have been nothing but loyal to you for over two hundred and forty-seven years and what do I have to show for it? Nothing! Nothing but bittersweet memories and heartbreak! Well, I'm done! I'm done being used and abused!"

"You are out of your mind," Nigel fumed.

"Why do you think that is?" Jekins snapped. "You can only push a man so far!"

"Jenkins you are not acting like a proper British officer," Nigel told him.

"Said the man who's going to marry the Yankee that killed him," Jenkins retorted. "Very proper!"

"Jenkins go back to the shed!" Nigel shouted. "That is an order!"

"I don't need to follow your orders anymore. The war is over remember?" Jenkins mocked. "I mean what the hell is the point anymore? We're dead. Everyone we ever knew is dead. We've been forgotten. And you ran off with Captain Craps His Pants!"

Hetty whispered to Alberta and Sasappis. "I'm not thrilled that Jenkins crashed the party. But I must admit I am enjoying the drama."

"Me too," Sasappis grinned.

"It ain't a real party unless someone throws a hissy fit," Alberta agreed.

"They are so going to love hearing about this in the basement," Nancy grinned with glee.

"So glad we came up here," Cody remarked to Creepy Dirk. "Best party ever!"

Creepy Dirk agreed. "We should do this more often."

Jenkins snarled. "I can't believe you abandoned us for this pack of rebel scum! You're just as treasonous as the rest of them!"

"I've had enough!" Isaac said forcefully. "Jenkins, I believe it is time for you to leave!"

"I'm not going anywhere!" Jenkins snapped.

"Oh yes you are!" Hetty said strongly. "Thorfinn! Take this party crasher back to the shed where he belongs!"

"With pleasure," Thorfinn growled as he advanced.

"I'm not afraid of you!" Jenkins snapped at Thorfinn. He brandished his rifle.

Thorfinn responded by taking his ghost axe and slicing the rifle in two. "Okay maybe I'm a little afraid of you?" Jenkins gulped as his rifle reformed.

"Come here!" Thorfinn grabbed Jenkins.

"GET OFF ME YOU OVERSIZED OAF!" Jenkins tried to fight back.

The two ghosts bumped into other ghosts wrestling each other. "Hey!" Crash gasped as his head was nearly knocked off. "Watch it!"

"Get out of here!" Trevor shouted.

"Thor take that trash outside!" Alberta called.

"HARRARRRRRR!" Thorfinn put Jenkins in a headlock.

"LET GO OF ME!" Jenkins snapped as he fought to escape. "I AM A SOLDIER OF THE KING'S ARMY! LET GO OF ME!"

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" Nancy and the other Cholera Pit ghosts cheered.

"Uh Baxter…" Nigel coughed. "If you wouldn't mind…?"

"Yeah, I'd better go," Baxter sighed.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU ABANDONED ME AFTER EVERYTHING WE'VE BEEN THROUGH!" Jenkins shouted as he was carried away. "YOU'LL BE BACK! THIS SO-CALLED MARRIAGE IS A SHAM! YOU'LL SEE! YOU'LL SEE! YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE LAST OF ME!"

"We will if Thorfinn drops you in well!" Thorfinn shouted.

"Not the worst idea Thorfinn has ever had," Isaac remarked.

"I'll behave!" Jenkins gulped.

"Congratulations," Baxter waved as he left. "Many happy returns!"

"Unbelievable," Isaac groaned.

Several ghosts happened to have fallen in a line witnessing the scene. "Can you believe the gall of that man?" Nigel fumed.

"What did you ever see in him?" Hetty asked Nigel.

"That guy has issues," Sasappis remarked.

"Some people just gotta cause drama," Alberta snorted. "Don't know when to quit."

"Jenkins is not a good party guest," Pete remarked.

"That guy seriously needs to get an afterlife," Trevor agreed.

"What a mook," Crash agreed as he adjusted his head.

"Is this the line to smell the food?" Creepy Dirk asked as he stood in the back. The other ghosts looked at him.

"Yeah, this was a party," Nancy laughed. "Can't wait for the wedding!"