Adam Smasher, Level 1 Adventurer, Hestia Familia

"You came home too late!" The voice of his employer called out, scoldingly. Adam ignored it for a moment, still shaking off the sleep and munching on leftover hashbrowns. He did, indeed, come back late enough that both Tinytits and Scrappy were already asleep. That was convenient for him, allowing him to down a healing potion and compare finances with three extra brats to haul loot for him.

They were allowed to keep half of it by the end of the brief, hour and a half delve. In total, he had spent about eight hours down in the Dungeon the other day. It was only an hour and a half because all three of the meatbrats who decided to follow him around like ducklings only had the same type of tiny purse thing that Scrappy had. They could barely carry what he was capable of pulling in.

At a mere eight hours a day, he was definitely slacking off in the murder department. Eight hours for sleep. Three hours for rest, repair, and refuel. That was still a good twelve or thirteen hours he could be spending on killing more, and therefore earning more. He was being pretty damn inefficient right now, and that was pretty damn annoying.

"I bet you were playing hooky with that smith huh?" His employer growled at him, hands motioning like she was strangling someone. "Bet she took you on a nice date at a nice restaurant huh? Wore a pretty, expensive dress and everything, I bet."

"He was getting measured for his gauntlets, Hestia-sama. I'm sure that takes awhile." Scrappy tried to excuse him.

Adam chewed for a moment more, swallowing the hashbrown. Once done, he finally replied. "She forgot to measure me, we were too busy fucking."

Both employer and fellow employee went red at that, and began to sputter. While they were regaining their composure, Adam took stock of their finances again. His second trip down into the Dungeon was fairly productive, earning him one-thousand eight-hundred and seventy five valis, half of the total earnings. The three meats got to keep the other half, because this was well above what he could carry in his hands.

These pants didn't have pockets. Real shit quality pants. Which made sense because he stole them from where they had been hanging up to dry on some rack. Free was better than good.

All in all, they had earned six-thousand eight-hundred and fifty valis total. Combined with the change that was in the account when he had arrived, and they were a bit over seven thousand right now. Assuming his math was accurate, that seven k figure was more like two hundred and ten eddies.

But, progress had been made, he was getting a free bag today. That was a significant upgrade from yesterday. Speaking of upgrades, he looked up from the account statement, at the still pink-face tinytits, and pointed at his own back. "Update."

She stared at him for a moment, before crossing her arms and turning to the side with a huff. Adam let his face fall into an unimpressed expression as she grumbled. "My ungrateful child stays out late and sleeps with strange women, doesn't even say hello to his goddess, maybe he'll appreciate me more if I don't update him…"

Adam stared for a moment more, before snorting and standing up. "Brat, you ready to go?"

"No! No! No! Sit down! I'll update you!" Tinytits immediately leapt forwards to latch onto his arm, panic in her voice. She growled in mild frustration at him as he settled down into a cross-legged position again. "Disagreeable, testy child. If I don't update you you'll go get killed."

"Like hell I will." Adam idly disagreed. "Kid, we're up to seven thousand valis. We should be able to get to ten thousand by the end of the work day today."

Scrappy was staring at him, one hand raised to rub at the back of his head and expression conflicted. "Multiple trips…?"

Adam shook his head. "I got a free bag after you left. We'll go pick it up first, and stay down until either the shift ends or it's full. We got plenty of healing potions to last."

"And food?" His employer grumbled at him. She sounded mad that they were making money for the corp, which was all kinds of bizarre.

Adam grunted, considering the issue of food. "...We have leftovers. Pack a bag with that again today." Scrappy nodded and moved to start putting hashbrowns from yesterday into one of their spare bags. All those spare bags that will soon become redundant.

"...how long were you in the Dungeon yesterday." Tinytits asked, he could hear the furrowed brows and frown on her face.

"About eight hours, five more than the day before." Adam rumbled in reply.

"...About twenty five more in Strength, Dexterity, and Agility. About ninety more in Endurance. Two more in Magic." She replied after a time with a tone he couldn't quite place. "I asked Hephaetus-chan about this yesterday. Adventurers don't grow this fast unless they're being pushed to the absolute brink."

Arms wrapped around his back again. Adam tensed, before forcing himself to relax with another grumble. Tinytits continued. "You're putting yourself in a lot of danger, aren't you?"

"Danger implies I can die against anything I've seen thus far." Adam replied with an annoyed growl. "I'm killing kids, dogs, and lizards here. None of that is a threat."

"...what?" She asked, baffled. She pulled back a bit, probably to stare at the back of his head.

"Goblins, Kobolds, and Dungeon Lizards." Scrappy called out in explanation, carefully placing row after row of cold cooked potato into one of their bags.

"Ah." Tinytits replied in understanding. "...You sure you're not in danger…?"

"I'm Adam Fucking Smasher. They're the ones in danger."

The arms around him squeezed again. He grunted in irritation. "Please stay safe. I don't want to lose you, okay?"

His employer worried entirely too much for someone who was in the business of sending mercs to a murderpit. Lives were cheap, worrying about all of them was only going to waste everyone's time. Instead of saying this, he grunted and let her draw her own conclusions.

After another few moments, the foreign and unwelcome arms around his torso retracted and he was able to stand up again without bringing a leech up with him. She stared at him as he put a shirt back on and gathered up what little supplies they would need. Staring back, Adam frowned and let out a long, annoyed sigh.

"We will buy armor before going down today." He allowed, knowing that this was going to cut into their budget significantly.

His employer cheered.

"Kid, pack an extra bag of leftovers, we're staying down there for twelve hours today." He added, quickly cutting off his employer's cheering and bringing an excited 'really?!' from Scrappy.

Her look towards him told him she knew full well that he was partially doing it to mess with her.

—

Cleverly, he had managed to avoid running into catmeat again by taking a slightly longer route, one he had scouted the night before on his way back. Scrappy gave him a knowing look along the way, but wisely avoided saying anything. Once they had reached the giant ostentatious tower in the center of the city and climbed up to the fourth floor again, he and Scrappy were soon in front of the storefront they had been yesterday.

And the sign in front that said 'closed for renovation'. Raising a brow and ignoring this sign, Adam pushed his way through the door and into the store to see several individuals moving supplies and items into boxes. One of which was Shortstack herself, who growled to herself as he walked in.

"Took ya long enough. Here, yer winnings and bag." She grunted, walking over to the counter and hoisting up something that made Adam rumble with satisfaction. A brand new leather duffle bag, and quite a good sized one at that. Walking over, and being followed by Scrappy, he took the bag to investigate it and its interior.

"Renovations?" Scrappy asked, causing Shortstack to grumble to herself.

"I lost storefront privileges for a while, so the familia is buying up my stock at a discount." She explained with crossed arms. "So I'm not gonna be forging until I earn them back, renting a space for it in the city is too expensive. In the meanwhile, I suppose I'll be delving."

"They're taking your forge away?" Scrappy asked, entirely too concerned. Adam took note of the extra bags on the side of the larger bag. Even more storage capacity!

"Nah, not really. I still got all my tools and such, just not a place to set up a workshop. Not at any reasonable price at least…" She grumbled to herself about rent for a few moments. "So it's all going into storage until Captain isn't irritated by me anymore.

"...Hey Adam." Scrappy asked suddenly, drawing his attention away from the reinforced strap. He grunted inquisitively, and Scrappy continued. "We got a space behind the church that we aren't really using, should we ask Hestia-sama if she can set up shop there?"

Shortstack perked up at that.

"Two issues brat." Adam replied, raising one finger and confirming that there weren't any zippers on the bag, just leather ties and buckles. "Our employer is renting from someone, that's where most of the stand-money is going."

"Oh yeah! She's renting it from her friend, Hephae…" Scrappy blinked, before finishing. "Hephaestus-sama…."

"I can ask if it's fine!" Shortstack eagerly replied, bouncing in place at the potential opportunity. Adam raised a second finger.

"Second issue, we don't have another bed." Creature comforts are something that meatbags tended to enjoy entirely too much, even if they were insane and liked beds of all things for those comforts.

"I can commute!" Shortstack replied, slamming hands on the desk with a fiery look in her eyes. "It's a smith's shame to be deprived of a forge! So long as the rent is reasonable, I'll do it!" Wasn't that true for literally anywhere? That was a pointless statement.

Adam, not really caring either way, hummed noncommittally and opened the duffle bag's main space. Inside were a pair of gauntlets and the sword that Scrappy wanted to return. He lifted both with a raised brow.

Shortstack replied with a scoff and a smug look. "What? You think I didn't measure your arms? Try them on."

"And the sword?" Adam replied, going through the motions of putting the new gauntlets on his arms. Leather and cloth padded interior with segmented plate and chain exterior, attached to his forearms with leather straps and curved plates that covered his elbows. The straps had adjustable buckles, so it would probably fit him regardless, probably deliberate on her part.

"Well if I'm losing the storefront for a bit, it's hard for me to give a discount ain't it? The kid can keep it, ah don't use a sword." Shortstack waved it off. Acceptable answer, Adam handed the sword to Scrappy and started to put on the other gauntlet.

"I'll ask Hestia-sama if you can rent out the back for your forge!" Scrappy eagerly replied, something that shortstack huffed in amusement at before reaching over the counter to rub his head.

"Yer a good kid, ya know that? Make sure you keep tall, blond, and handsome here humble, alright?"

"Humble is for meatbags." Adam grunted out in reply, ignoring the hypocrisy of his own fleshy state, finished attaching his newly won gauntlets, and swung the bag over his shoulder. "C'mon kid, we got monsters to kill. We'll be picking up the drops from now on, we can actually carry those."

"...you weren't carrying the drops back?" Shortstack looked baffled at him. As if he was doing something incredibly stupid.

"They don't sell for enough compared to fitting more cores in." His logic, of course, was foolproof.

"Not to the Guild maybe! Bring those up here to sell them next time, the Hephaestus familia will give you a better price for em. We always need more for lower-level forging." She lectured, waving a finger in his direction.

Adam grunted. That was actually somewhat helpful, if true. He was still annoyed by the tone and finger, but resisted the urge to snap it off her hand. He nodded and moved to the door. "C'mon kid."

"See you later, Bruni-san!"

"See ya later boys~" She called out cheerfully as they left.

They walked in silence for a few moments. Bustling shops and haggling going on all around them, feet and boots trailing over paved stone.

"...Weren't we going to get armor?" Scrappy asked, remembering the earlier promise to their employer.

Adam nodded. "I forgot." He admitted without shame, armor wasn't particularly important to him, not against the things they were killing currently.

Not knowing where exactly to go, they went to go ask the guide-child where cheap armor was.

Apparently, the answer was 'go be poor somewhere else' and 'from the Guild'.

Unfortunately, Adam couldn't exactly disagree with the sentiment. They needed to make more valis.

—

"I'm glad to see you're finally investing in some protection." Guildmeat smiled proudly at them as he and Scrappy shrugged on the new gambeson jackets. All in nondescript black, and all from a wide variety of standardized sizes. It was both the cheapest armor available, and a complete and utter waste of valis even at the heavy discount that the Guild provided for it.

A mere one-thousand valis no matter the size, right about thirty eddies if he was converting back. Not bad, right?

Fucking wrong.

Yes, cloth armor against claws and teeth, that was going to last long. These jackets were going to be useless in less than a week, forcing a dumbass to buy another to replace it, and turning the investment into yet another money sink. One thousand valis a week to keep yourself 'safe' from children and dogs, like anyone competent needed help against those things.

This wasn't a product, it was a hidden tax. One that Adam was willing to bet many stupid people fell for constantly. The issue was, a suit of 'proper' armor from the Guild? One that used metal and would actually last against the claws and teeth?

Twenty thousand valis, per set, only sold in sets. Twenty times more expensive than the gambeson they were currently wearing, and Adam could tell that it would probably last a hundred times longer. It was objectively better from an investment point of view, but they didn't have anywhere near enough to buy it, and if they kept having to buy this cheap shit they never would.

You know what they say though. You have to have money to save money. Something like that at least, Adam didn't bother listening to financial advice from corpos most of the time.

Or ever.

"Hestia-sama insisted that we spend some on it." Scrappy replied sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head again. Adam was beginning to notice a tic. "And the Hephaestus guide recommended we come down here when we told them our budget."

"You certainly have valis to spend! Did you end up taking out a loan from the Guild?" Guildmeat asked cheerfully, politely.

Adam snorted. "The stupidest thing you can ever do is be indebted. No."

"So… you didn't take out a loan…? You earned two-thousand valis in three days?" The guildmeat sounded more neutral. Scrappy flinched preemptively. Adam replied, adjusting the fit on his tax-jacket to suit his frame better.

"Seven thousand, two days." He rumbled out with a glare at the sleeves of this nonsense he was now wearing. "Real shit progress overall. We're aiming for three thousand today at minimum."

Guildmeat stared at him, reaching up to remove her glasses and wiping them off on a handkerchief before putting them back on. Then, her face twisted into a slight frown and stern glare. "...So how have you managed this?" She asked with a warning tone.

Three out of ten, actually try being intimidating next time. You look like an owl, dumbass.

"Killing monsters." The implied insult to her intelligence was obvious in his tone. "Do you not see the gore and full bags when we come back or do you not know how this Dungeon works?"

Her expression slowly turned apocalyptic. He ignored her. Finally done adjusting his taxgarb, he reached down to pick up the duffle bag and nodded his head towards the stairs down. "C'mon kid, we got meat to butcher. Remember, twelve hours."

Scrappy didn't follow immediately, but Adam wasn't worried. He'd catch up eventually. His footsteps, still bare of anything to cover them, carried him towards his new favorite place.

Note to self, buy socks and boots too.

The frustrated snarling behind him told Adam that the guildmeat finally lost self control. He almost laughed to himself as boots caught up with him and Scrappy shot him a reproachful stare.

"I wish you'd stop, she's just worried about our safety."

"We are paid murderers who delve into a bottomless hole filled with endless monsters for treasures and violence." Adam pointed out with a raised brow. "There is nothing safe about that, the concern from your girlfriend is absurd."

Scrappy didn't have an immediate rebuttal to that, so instead he muttered out a weak "She's not my girlfriend."

"Sure as shit acts like it. Might as well ask her out and make it official." He responded as they passed through the archway to the stairs below. He leaned down slightly and gave a mocking half-grin. "Might start getting a big smooch before and after every trip down, wouldn't you like that?"

Scrappy's face tinting slightly pink told him all he needed to know. Adam laughed as they descended.

"You're too casual about these kinds of things, Smasher-san."

"It's called being an adult, kid."

"You're barely older than me."

"And?"

Their chatting continued all the way down.