Hestia, Recently Descended Goddess of Hearth and Home, Jagamarukun Saleswoman

Going to her friend's office always reminded her of just how far she had to go to be a respectable goddess. She had descended to find a familia of her own, certainly, and wealth wasn't a requirement for family. But if she wasn't working as hard as she could to support them, how could she say that she cared about them? She couldn't go out and adventure for them, sure. That's not what Gods did.

But she could make sure they always had a home to come back to, and right now her home needed creature comforts! The basics were done. Warm hearth, roof overhead, and home cooked meals. But they were missing an entire bed and at least a dozen other very nice things that made a home homely.

Neither Bell-kun or Adam-kun seemed to care all that much, so she would have to care three times as much to make up for it!

Fifty times she had asked someone to join her familia, starting out. Fifty times she had been rejected. It was hard to live through that, but she had waited a thousand years to descend, she couldn't give up after a mere fifty rejections.

Then, she spied a boy with white hair, getting rejected for a familia. She was a little hesitant to approach, fifty one failures might've made her cry, so she hung back and watched him for a bit.

…N-not like that. She wasn't a stalker! She just followed him around and watched as he went about his day! Hestia shook her head, twintails whipping around and smacking into the wall behind her a few times.

No matter how you look at it, that's stalking isn't it!? Gah!

After watching him pick himself up again, and feeling that little void around him grow a little bit more with the rejection, she couldn't restrain herself. She moved forwards, introduced herself, and asked him if he wanted a familia. To her delight, the white-haired boy looking for a home took her hand with a wonderful smile.

She was bolstered! Invigorated! Awestruck! And life went on. The next day, she and her new child woke up in their new home and started the day together. It was just as great as she was imagining. Sure the home was a fixer-upper and they didn't have much… anything. But it was theirs!

…Theirs to rent, at least. They still needed to work to stay there, and Hep-chan was a stickler for 'doing things right'. So her newest child went to the Guild to register as an adventurer, and she went to her stand to barter delicious Jagamarukun away. The day went on as normal, her Jagamarukun selling to a few regulars and the occasional newcomer, and she was making a tidy profit, maybe enough to buy something nice for her new familia in a few weeks.

Then, a really sad soul walked up to her stand, dropped a bag of valis, and asked for all that it could afford. Tall and hungry-thin, with suspicious eyes and a foul mouth. Not even shoes on his feet.

The worst part was the feeling around him.

Gods had a sense for their domains, it was as natural to them as anything else. She didn't quite know how the others perceived it, but for her it was kinda like pressure. People and places with good homes and lots of love felt warm and weighty, like an old blanket wrapped around her. A warm draft that made her feel like her hair was being pushed back from all the love.

The human who just bought all her Jagamarukun felt like the exact opposite.

Like a cold, starving void. Like all the warmth and love in the world wouldn't be enough to fill the gap that was there. So cold that touch would sap all the heat from her fingertips, make her blood run away from it, and leave her shivering. Someone so cold they had partially frozen over.

Then he sat down, gruff and confused, and chomped through her Jagamarukun like he was starving. Barely even tasting it, just devouring it like the meal was going to be taken away if he left it alone too long. He didn't even know what a familia was.

So she asked him to join hers. This human absolutely needed a home, and she was more than motivated enough to offer. What else could she do?

When you see someone freezing, you put them in front of a warm hearth.

Ideally with some hot food and a warm blanket too, but she was still working on those other things. Her hugs would have to be three times as good to make up for it, despite how cutely he squirmed whenever she touched him.

It was also unfortunate that her newest child apparently didn't know how to take care of himself, because he had gotten his arms mangled and was completely silent with them. His stats were growing faster than Hep-chan offhandedly said what she was used to seeing, Bell's were too, but not like that Endurance stat.

You only build Endurance by enduring things. Pretty obvious, she supposed. Her second child was apparently enduring something really bad, and she had no idea what it was. It didn't even seem like he noticed, after living with it a long time. It was keeping her up at night, and she didn't know how to help.

So Hestia was here, waiting for Hep-chan to finish talking with someone so she could go in and dogeza until Hep-chan gave her advice. She twiddled her thumbs for a few minutes, kicking her feet back and forth in the really fancy waiting room.

…This room would be better with a nice fireplace, it would go right… right over there. With red bricks and a warm shade to it. That would bring a lot of life to it. Then maybe some potted plants over… there and there. Not something too high maintenance, but something that could bring a little natural scent in.

Finally the door opened, and she jolted up in her seat. Immediately adjusting herself to sit like a properly dignified goddess as the mortal gave an amused glance her way and moved along.

Following out of the corner of her eye, Hestia waited for the mortal to close the door leading into this waiting room.

The door clicked.

Hestia threw open the office door, throwing herself inside and forwards. Hands above her head, knees pressed together, and sliding across the floor until she was nearly in the center of the room.

A perfect bukkomi dogeza!

"Please give me advice, Hep-chan!" Hestia roared out, face planted in the floor, eyes burning with a fiery humbleness.

A long period of silence followed, shuffling papers, and a stare burning a hole into her head.

"...I told you to just enter normally, Hestia-chan." The mature and reliable voice of Hephaestus called out from behind her desk, sounding warmly weary of how Hestia had chosen to enter. "I'm pretty sure I told you that the last few times, in fact. You keep hurting yourself with it."

Indeed, Hestia's knees were now rubbed raw. But she was a grown woman, not a little kid, something on this level could never make her flinch!

Hestia flinched as she stood up from her position on the floor. Clapping her hands together, she bowed and asked again. "I need your help, senpai." On the other side of the desk sat her closest friend down here on the mortal plane, the Goddess of the Forge, Hephaestus. A serious and mature woman, with bold red hair and a large black eyepatch over one half of her face. It hid a messed up eye, so Hestia was careful to not be rude, but it definitely gave her friend a cool and mysterious look!

"What's that? That's gross. Don't do that." Hep-chan immediately followed up with furrowed brow and a comedic recoil. Her features smoothed over into a much warmer and relaxed look as she said the next lines. "Just sit down already, Hestia-chan. If it's just advice, I can definitely help."

Hestia moved over to the desk, and settled down into the chair. It was a pretty comfortable chair, if not very personal. It matched the rest of the room in a clinical way, aesthetically correct but a little too detached. Hep-chan's office had all the right stuff, but wasn't very home-y.

Hestia was careful to not mention that, because the last time she said something similar Hep-chan cried for thirty minutes about her 'inability as a woman' and then ate a bunch of ice cream.

Her friend was really sensitive about being single for so long.

Very seriously, Hestia pulled out the small stack of papers from where she was keeping them in her dress, in front of her stomach. Seven pages in total. Hep-chan deadpanned at the retrieval. Hestia continued with furrowed brows. "Please swear to keep all this a secret, Hep-chan. You told me how other gods play with mortals, I don't want that happening to my familia."

Hep-chan got a more serious look on her face, nodding her head and replying. "I swear to keep this a secret, Hestia-chan. None will learn it from me."

"It's about their Falna. Adam-kun specifically, but I have Bell's here as a comparison. You said that about five to twenty was the expected gain per update. Five to twenty in each stat right?"

"Aye. That sounds about right."

"Bell has been doing good then, here's his first update, see?" Hestia slid the paper across the desk, letting Hep-chan read it. She nodded expectantly. "And here's his second, then third, then fourth. All of it is about right, right?"

Hep-chan stared at the papers for a few moments, before furrowing her brow and checking a little calendar on the side of her desk. "Hestia-chan… How long ago did Bell join your familia?"

"Four days, why?"

Hephaestus stared at the papers in her hands for another few moments. "You've been updating once a day then, right?"

"Yeah." Hestia nodded in confirmation, confused about where this was going.

"Hestia… My familia is too big to update daily." Hephaestus looked up with a concerned face. "I update them according to a schedule, each person getting updated about once a month. They typically gain five to twenty points in each stat per month, not per day."

Hestia stared for a few moments, before swallowing. There were thirty days in a month…

She glanced down at the other papers in her hands, then back up and bit her lip. Hephaestus caught on immediately, lowering the papers in her hands and the look of concern deepening. "...Is there something wrong with your other familia member?"

"He started with a skill. Paradisus Sub Sole Rubro. All it said was 'unusual interactions with charm effects'. I don't know what it does." Hestia slowly began, handing over the first, mostly blank page. Hephaestus nodded along, looking at the zeros on the first page, showing that she understood.

"Not unheard of… He's human right? I think I remember Tsuba-chan complaining about him and one of my level 2s getting frisky." Hestia's face fell flat and she grunted unhappily. Hephaestrus continued. "It would be more typical if he was an Elf or Beastfolk. But humans sometimes start with unique skills too."

Hestia looked at the second page. With great reluctance, she slid it over. "This was his first update. First day in the Dungeon."

Hephaestus took the page, glanced at it, and immediately fell into a coughing fit. "S-sixty!" She struggled out, looking at the page as if it would change any moment, like her eye was lying to her.

"The others were only a bit better than Bell's, so I supposed it was experience. Adam has been fighting for at least five years but… but I suspect he was going to say fifteen instead." And he only looked so old, maybe twenty-one at the oldest. What kind of horrible place makes a child into a mercenary?

"Experience doesn't account for sixty points in one day, Hestia!" Hephaestus growled in that worried auntie kind of way she sometimes got. Hestia knew her face wasn't much better.

She slid the last paper across the table. "This was yesterday's update."

Hephaestus took the last paper with great reluctance, eye darting to the lone stat in question.

The office was silent for a very long time.

"I don't know what to do." Hestia declared, hands balling into fists and eyes watering. "You build endurance by enduring a lot, right? Adam-kun came back from the first day with his forearms all torn up! Skin hanging off of it like strips of ripped paper. He didn't even seem to notice! Then he got wrappings for his arms to protect them, and his endurance went up even faster the next day!"

"I-..." Hestia struggled. "My familia is suffering a lot right now, and I don't know why. I don't even know how or from what. Please, tell me you know something…"

Hephaestus stared at the paper in her hands, before standing up, walking around the table, and hugging her.

Hestia fell into the hug and sobbed. Then she sobbed harder because now her tears were definitely ruining her friend's shirt. Hep-chan rubbed circles into her back until she was too tired to keep crying.

After a long time, Hephaestus spoke. "...It might be nothing, but…"

Hestia clung to her friend like a lifeline and stared into her eye with fiery desperation. Hephaestus, shirt ruffled and mostly ruined, slowly extracted herself from the hug and walked over to a bookshelf on the side of her office.

Hestia helped herself to the tissues on the table, trying her best to clean her face.

"This level of growth, aside from that endurance stat, isn't actually unprecedented you know? In fact, most of the gods who have been around for awhile know how to push their children to achieve it. It's called the Heracles Method."

"...Hera's Glory?" She asked, with furrowed brows. No matter how you looked at it, that was a euphemism for her boobs, wasn't it?

Hephaestus chuckled at that. "Zeus was the one to come up with it. The kid's name was Alcides, and Zeus practically raised the boy." She pulled a book from the shelf and walked back over. "Then the old lecher lost the right to give him a Falna in a bet, so Hera snatched him up for her own familia, and she doted on him immensely."

"When the kid hit level 2, Zeus joked that his name should be Heracles instead. None of Hera's threats were enough to dissuade the other gods, and Alcides thought it was a great idea, the big momma's boy he was. Then they decided to give embarrassing names to everyone else with a Falna just to be fair."

"Aliases…?" Her eyes widened in realization.

Hephaestus grinned. "It's where the tradition started, yeah. Round about eight hundred years back. When we were still figuring out how this Falna thing Ouranos suggested worked." Hep-chan slid the book across the desk, and Hestia took it up.

On the cover was a picture of a man, half aesthetic and half anatomical. One side flayed of skin to show the underlying muscle structure. Behind the man was the Hera's seal, the image of a queenly woman with a scepter of gold and a crown of flowers. At the bottom of the book was the title.

'The Heracles Method'

Hestia opened to the first page.

'Glory to Hera, Queen of all Gods.'

'I am Heracles-once-Alcides, a name the gods have granted me, a name I wear with pride. In my thirteen year of life, I have reached the second peak. My body swells with power, and yet I see no end of the mountains before me or the caverns below. I am not discouraged. I have decided to embark upon a quest for all men and women, for all peoples and races, for all mortals. I have decided to understand the truth of power, its pursuit, and the blessings that remain a mystery even to the gods. I do this, and I will share it with the world, that all may find their path easier than mine.'

'My master is the great lord of bow and fist. Chiron is his name, wisest and most just of the horse-eared-and-tailed men, and he has taught me the ways of vanquishing my enemies. He has taught me Toxovolía and Pankration, of striking and holding when near or far. He has taught me well, and as of writing this first chapter I have yet to surpass him. He assures me I shall in time.'

'With me are a variety of weapons, for I have discerned that it is foolish to only carry one. I carry a club of hard oak and olive, a sword and shield of brass and iron, and a bow of yew and ox-string. I am unfamiliar with the staff and spear, and shall refrain on speaking about them. The sling I have been told is the commoner's weapon, and so I shall refrain from speaking on it.'

Hestia looked up with furrowed brows. The page was dense with yet-more dialogues. "It's a journal?"

Hephaestus nodded with a fond, nostalgic smile. "It's a journal of his adventures, and his growth. Day by day, what he did, what he ate, what he considered or thought about. Everything. It was pretty important for figuring out how the Falnas worked, when everything was still so uncertain. I brought him up, because his growth was a little bit faster than your second familia member. At least, a bit faster in everything except endurance."

"His was faster?" Hestia felt a small amount of calm return to her. Except for endurance, the fact bounced around in her head miserably.

"Loki has one of those kids, Ais. She beat Heracles' old record as fastest to level 2 by a day. Heracles got it in a year and a day. Ais got it in one year flat." Hestia soured at the mention of her mischievous rival, knowing that her stupid head was probably unbearably swollen when that happened. "But no one has beat Heracles' overall record. He made it all the way to Level 12."

Each level was supposed to be harder to get, right? So… "Why haven't I heard about him…?"

Hep-chan got a dark look on her face. A dark and terribly sad look that Hestia found difficult to look at. "Turn to the last page."

Hestia nervously did so, and read out what was on it.

'Murder is natural.'

'Murder has been there from the beginning. From before the beginning. From before our souls were wrought in primordial fires. From before the blue-golds of kingdoms and clothing.'

'Murder is our oldest and greatest instinct. The roaring red-hands that dwell beneath civilized skins.'

'It makes us strong. It makes us wise. It makes us powerful.'

'I have peered beneath the skins of all things. Of monsters and beasts and men and gods. I have found only meat. The only gift I can give to it is death. My hands hold nothing else.'

'When I have finished writing this passage, I shall descend into Tartarus once more. I shall find the guardian of the gates in the lowest levels, three headed and spotted. I shall slay them, and achieve the thirteenth peak. I shall drag the corpse up in an iron cage, and heap it upon the mounds of dead I have already made.'

'It is not the final peak. There is no final peak.'

'The mountain is made of butchered meat.'

She didn't know how long she stared at that final line.

Only that eventually, Hephaestus spoke again, one eye dull and weary. "Don't tell anyone about that book. Every mortal who has read it has ended up the same way. There's a reason we no longer teach the second half."

She looked up, and stared with a dreadfully worried expression. Hephaestus stared back for a time, before forcing a smile onto her face.

"Hey now… Let's go out to eat. My treat."

Hestia slid the book onto the desk again, frowning at it heavily.

"I know a place." She replied. "My familia told me that the pasta was good. Hostess of Fertility."

"I'm familiar. Let me get a different shirt first." Hephaestus smiled reassuringly. "Any don't worry about it. If your child is growing fast, that just means they'll be able to handle their challenges easier. That's what our Grace is for, after all. Maybe just… make sure you don't tell the other gods about it. They'll try something stupid probably."

Hestia let her gaze trail down. "...Yeah. I'm hungry." She spoke, unsure of what to say.