Adam Smasher, Level 1 Adventurer, Hestia Familia
"We're home!"
"Welcome back!"
Adam set his bag off to the side, mimicking the kid, and began to take off his armor once more. The church had fresh patches of mortar and stone where there had once been holes. Apparently their employer had hired a crew today, and the inside of the church was now significantly warmer. There was a new broom resting against the side of the hearth, and the interior had been rigorously cleaned.
She had begun to make purchases it seems. Over the fireplace a cast iron pot was hung, also new, and the fragrant smell of what was probably food filled the interior.
"Did you have a good adventure today? Tell me about it!" Tinytits excitedly asked.
"We cleared out a monster pantry today! Adam's technique for handling pass parades worked on it too, and we made all kinds of valis! Oh! And we have a new party member with us, a smith from Hephaestus-sama's familia named Welf Crozzo!"
"That's great!" She replied with a bright smile. "I'm glad to hear you made a new friend! No one got hurt too bad, right?"
"Scrappy needed four healing potions, outsword needed four, I used two." Adam added to the conversation with a rumble. "Our cut was two-hundred and forty thousand, split between three accounts, eighty thousand each."
"T-two-hundred and forty!" Their employer sputtered, twisting around and sending an astonished look their way. "What, did you fight an army of monsters?! That's so much!"
"I-I said we cleared out a monster pantry…?" Scrappy responded, pausing in the removal of his chain shirt and giving a confused look towards their employer.
Their employer stared back for a moment, before snapping her gaze towards him. "Adam! What's a monster pantry?!"
"Guh!" Scrappy exclaimed in the realization that their employer didn't actually know much about their line of work.
"Large cavernous rooms dominated by a massive pillar of crystal-adjacent material. This pillar secrets a type of mana-rich nectar that monsters feed upon to sustain themselves, meaning said rooms are almost always filled with large numbers of monsters." Adam explained, shedding his gambeson-chain jacket and revealing a normal shirt underneath.
"How many monsters?!" She demanded clarification with a dramatically pointed finger.
Adam snorted, and considered it for a moment. "We got maybe about two-hundred from that fight, but it could probably hold five-thousand at max capacity. We'll hit it again tomorrow, see if the pickings are any better then."
She stared for a few moments more, before standing up, then pointing a dramatic finger down at the floor. "On your bellies! I'm updating you!" She commanded with all the authority that a four-foot seven-inch woman could muster. That is to say, not much.
"Fall asleep on me again and I'm looking for another employer." He bluntly dictated, being answered by a firmer point downwards and Scrappy snickering.
Scrappy, having gotten his armor off sooner, was quick to move over and lay down. He gasped as he reached the floor, rubbing the stone once. "It's so warm!"
"Yup! I got some workers from the Goibniu familia to come patch the walls! It's going to be nice and toasty at night from here on out!" Tinytits boasted as she straddled the kid's hips and started rubbing his back in specific ways.
Mostly, he saw that she was rubbing off remnants of makeup to reveal the 'falna' beneath. That indeed explained the rubbing motions. "How much did that cost?" He instead asked, moving on to remove his lower section of plates and leather.
She paused in the middle of rubbing ladies makeup off the kids back. "...twenty-five hundred valis..." That was pretty cheap, wasn't it? "Per square foot…" There it was.
He snorted. Yeah that sounded about right. That, the clothes, and the new purchases around the church would explain why the familia account was essentially empty when they came out of the dungeon today. Didn't matter regardless, now it had eighty-thousand and some change.
"Hmm!" Tinytits hummed excitedly. "Everything is in the sixties now, Bell-kun You're doing really well!"
"Really? Eheh, I'm making good progress then?"
"Great progress! Here, let me copy it down for you." His employer spoke sweetly, before turning and growling at him. "Adam! Belly!"
"I'm getting my boots off woman!" He growled back, undoing the aforementioned laces on his leather boots. "I'll get there when I get there!"
"Grr…" Tinytits glared playfully at him for a bit, then turned back to Scrappy and pulled the page off his back. "All done!" She stood up from the kid's back and handed the page to him with a smile. Scrappy took it and looked at the page, moving to a seated position and reading over the marginal increase in numbers with great enthusiasm.
They were just numbers, kid, not that big of a deal. He crouched down, then grudgingly laid down on his front. Tinytits shuffled over to plop down, using his ass as a cushion, and started to rub his back to make numbers slightly increase.
"Hmm…"
"You need a ranged weapon, kid." Adam commented while his employer sat on him. Scrappy turned his attention up towards him, and blinked.
"I do?"
"Yes. Ideally the swordmeat would get one too, but he's from another corp so I can't tell him what to do. You need a ranged weapon."
"...uhhh…"
"Have you ever used a ranged weapon before?" Adam deadpanned at him. Scrappy raised his hand to rub the back of his neck.
"I… I used to use a sling back on the farm, to scare away birds and wolves, but that's it."
The fuck was a sling? "That works." Adam grunted. "We'll head up to buy one tomorrow, before the delve. A sling and some ammo for it. You also need a better bag, that one is puny."
"You think so? We've been having the supporters carry loot back right?"
"You need to carry supplies down too."
"Ah! That makes sense!" Scrappy didn't argue, one of the traits that made him significantly less annoying than most meatbags.
"Finished!" His employer interjected, pulling a paper off his back and handing it over to him. She took too long to get off him, so he pushed himself up and let her fall back onto the floor with a dramatic 'mmph!'.
—
Adam
Level 1
Basic Abilities
Strength - I75
Endurance - F340
Dexterity - I72
Agility - I72
Magic - I10
Abilities
Skills
Paradisus Sub Sole Rubro - Unusual Interactions with Charm Effects.
Spells
—
"Oh! What are you at now, senpai?" Scrappy excitedly asked, he slipped the page over to the kid, having already memorized it. Scrappy took the page in his hands, before excitedly commenting. "You have a skill already!?"
"I started with it." Adam corrected, ignoring the weak fists from his employer against his back. "It doesn't do anything, far as I can tell, so it doesn't matter."
"...Oh." Scrappy responded with a vague note of disappointment. "I thought it might do something really cool, you know?"
"Like what?" Adam asked, mildly curious about what the kid would give as examples.
"I dunno, let you shoot lightning bolts or breathe fire or something." Scrappy answered with a shrug.
Adam snorted, amused. His employer got up to rest her chin on his shoulder and smile at Scrappy. "Bell-kun, you are forbidden to ever stop being cute, okay? If you ever become uncute like Adam-kun here, I'm going to be very disappointed."
"Uhh…" Scrappy hesitated to respond.
Adam reached around, over his shoulders, and grabbed Tinytits from underneath the armpits.
"Huh?"
He stood and brought his arms forwards again, grip firm.
"Wait-wait-wait, Adam!"
Her body slid in his grip until stopping at her hips, and she flailed upside down in front of him. Holding her completely upside down now, he ignored her kicking legs. Good to see that she did indeed wear underwear. "A-adam! Let me down, G-gently! Let me down gently! Your goddess commands you!"
He shook her back and forth briefly, causing her to wail and flail again.
"B-bell-kun! Save your goddess! H-help me!" She tried again, trying to bend forwards to grab onto him, presumably to prevent him from shaking her more.
Scrappy was too busy trying his best to not laugh at the scene before him.
"I'm sorry I called you uncute just put me down! Adam! You're the cutest, just put me down! Please!"
Scrappy lost the battle, and began to wheeze.
It was surprisingly fun to manhandle her, he needed to do this more often.
—
"Potato stew!" Tinytits excitedly boasted, holding a new bowl of the thick brown meal inside before them. "I made it today with some vegetables from the market! I can cook more meals now!"
Adam rumbled disinterestedly, but Scrappy replied with equal enthusiasm. "It smells really good!"
"Eat all you want! I made a big pot!" She handed the bowl over to Scrappy, who took it in both hands and inhaled deeply. Ladling more stew into another bowl, she handed it off to him.
The stew made the bowl warm, and it smelled acceptably like food.
"Woman." Adam spoke.
"What?" Tinytits asked.
"Did you forget to buy spoons?" He pointed out the lack of cutlery.
A pause. Scrappy blinked. Tinytits stared at the soup pot, then the ladle, then the bowls.
"Tch. I knew I should've made a list." She muttered.
"It's fine! We can eat it like this!" Scrappy countered with a determined look, raising the bowl up to his lips and chugging directly from the bowl for a moment, then putting the bowl down. Tinytits raised a hand to try and stop him.
Judging by his face curling up in pain and immediate panting, he was in pain. Tinytits immediately exclaimed "Oh!" and raced outside, towards the well with another bowl in hand.
"You forgot that it was hot." Adam rumbled in mild amusement. Scrappy nodded miserably, still exhaling to try and cool his throat. Tinytits returned, bowl now full of water and handed off to the kid. She had brows furrowed in concern as the kid gulped down cool water.
"Thank you, goddess-sama." Scrappy replied, throat tight.
"You silly, you should've waited!" She scolded for a moment, before pulling the kid's face into her chest with a hug. "Thank you."
"Don't reward the kid for doing something stupid. You should be laughing at him." Adam commented, blowing on his own bowl of stew to cool it down. Tinytits pointed a dramatic finger at him.
"He was doing it to cheer me up! That's worth ten-thousand hugs!"
"Hug him too much and he'll start burning himself to get more hugs."
"My Bell-kun is too clever to do something silly like that!"
"Um…" Scrappy interjected, looking sheepish. "I… I did just burn myself."
"My Bell-kun is too clever to do that more than once!" Tinytits corrected without skipping a beat.
Adam grunted dismissively, and took a sip of the stew. It tasted like potatoes and beef. Maybe some other vegetables. He used to have a chemical analyzer that could just tell him this stuff, but not in this worthless meat-frame.
"...How's it taste?" Tinytits asked, a look of anticipation on her face.
Adam glanced down at the bowl. "Never ate stew before." He clarified his lack of experience with the dish. The closest he could compare it to was… cup ramen maybe? He used to eat that stuff all the time. "Tastes fine."
His employer did a little victory dance at that. He grunted and took another long sip. Scrappy started blowing on his own bowl, a smile on his face.
Adam made a note to check on their drops again before sleep, and to buy a proper lockbox for them tomorrow. They got a lot more from today, and only some of them were going to be used immediately. Just keeping them in a bag under the kid's bed was probably a bad idea.
—
He woke up early the next day, stretching across the bare stone of the floor, and twisting in order to crack and pop the bones in his frame. A good morning stretch to get him limbered up. Shoving a few sticks into the coals and poking briefly, they started smoldering soon enough and his job was over. Tinytits could handle the rest when she woke up.
Scratching at his chest briefly, he got dressed in more than just his pants, putting on his socks and shirt. It was… Tuesday today, he thinks. Yesterday was Monday. Pausing at the door, he reached over to grab one of the washed bowls and then headed outside. The door left open behind him.
Shortstack was already here, quietly stoking the coals of her forge-fire and getting her tools ready. He glanced over at her, then moved to the well to pull up a bucket of water, scooping some out with the bowl and starting to drink. He needed to see if they had coffee here. Setting the bucket down, he leaned against the well and looked over at Shortstack again, for lack of better things to look at.
She was humming something quietly, with a sleepy expression on her face as she unlocked boxes and set tools onto the table, occasionally reaching over to grab the handles of some bellows and pulling it down to reheat the coals once more. Leather apron, pants, gloves, boots. Hair tied back in twin-tails, and little but what looked like a black bikini underneath the apron.
Better fashion than back home, for certain.
He gulped down another drink of water, something that meatframes unfortunately required quite a lot of. It was something like a liter or two a day, wasn't it? That was going to be a pain in the ass to bring down the moment murderpit trips became multiple-day affairs rather than delving-shifts. That and food, both of which needed more bag space to carry and thus less weapons.
Note to self, see if they have ration blocks like the army did back home, nice bars of dry-ass bricks loaded with nutrients and calories. Like eating sand, but everything you needed for a full day. If not, he could always just carry down potatoes or something.
Shortstack hefted a lockbox up onto her table, opening it up and moving a book and a few drop items from it, then glancing over the text on a certain line briefly. Nodding to herself, she walked over to the other side and bent over to open another box, reaching inside and shifting through items interred within.
It was at that point that Adam realized she was not, in fact, wearing pants.
Those were chaps.
…Oh yeah, his discount.
He stood up, setting the bowl to the side and making his way over. Getting behind her, he reached low and hooked two fingers.
"Ah~" Shortstack practically jumped, kept in place by his other hand grabbing her by the hip and kneading. "Y-you ass~ When'd you get out here?" She groaned out, hips wiggling as he curled and uncurled his fingers against her.
"A while ago." He explained, she didn't notice? He wasn't being too sneaky in his approach. He let the hand go up against her lower back, then back down, snaking between the chaps and her thin black panties to press more firmly against quickly-rousing flesh.
"Mmh~ I-I was wondering when you'd come by~" She let both her hands rest against the lockbox, bending forwards. Not that it helped him much, with how short everyone here was compared to him. "Noticed I was open for business, hmm?"
Adam snorted dismissively and thrust his fingers inside. She clenched and jolted, muffling another moan. He was here to get a discount. He loosened his pants with one hand, and kept up the steady rhythms with the other. Her hips rolled back against his palm, and he had to press forwards to keep her from falling back.
Unsheathed, he paused for a moment, and remembered the letter of their agreement. He pulled his fingers out, moved her black silk aside, and lined up. She turned her head back just in time for him to bury himself within. Hot and tight and wet, squeezing around him firmly enough that he needed to hold his breath.
"Fuck~! Mmh!"
Grabbing her by the hips with a snarl, he lifted with the proper form. With the knees and not the back. She gave a confused moan as he raised her by the hips and groin. Impaled upon him and arms and legs dangling down, not reaching the floor.
"...What?"
Moving over with great skill, he plopped her down against the cold anvil, and began to thrust in earnest. She began to roll her hips back as appropriate, now being able to brace against something firm. Stuck between an anvil and a hard place.
"Oh~ Fuck~ Fwuh~ Fwah~ Fa~" She began to stop making legible words quickly enough.
Wet claps of flesh meeting flesh rang out behind the church, the hammering of flesh and skin instead of steel and iron. He braced himself against her as he thrusted, one hand firmly squeezing a hip and the other pressing down on her shoulder. The movement of her hips never ceased, always rolling with steady pace even as her legs began to shake.
Unfortunately, he had to breathe eventually, and the moment he did so he lost control.
He growled as he came, refusing to cease his thrusts even as their fluids began to mix. Shortstack didn't seem to mind much, raising her legs up to press her feet against his back, showing impressive flexibility.
"Mmh~ mmh~"
He probably had another hour or two before the kid woke up, best to start on other chores and his daily warm up by now. Growling, he pulled himself from her vice-like folds. "Hah~" He exhaled hotly against her neck. The ladies liked that kinda thing.
"Hah~ Hah~ All out already~?" She huffed back at him, teasingly.
He grunted, then walked around to the other side of the anvil, planting a hand on her head. "Clean me off. I got chores to do."
With great enthusiasm, she leaned up, grabbing his hips, and began licking.
Good job fuckmeat, he might start doing this to you for free if you keep being obedient like this.