Finn's laughter reaches me as I soundlessly walk through his house. Another man is laughing too. His name is Damian and he's Finn's friend. He seems nice. Finn seems to care for him deeply and that's all that matters to me.
I leave my gift on the floor outside of the kitchen and continue to listen to their talk and laughter. They're happy. Finn deserves to be happy. His happiness has always made me happy. I hope he knows this. I think he does. He always smiles when he sees my gifts.
"I gotta go piss," Damian says.
I keep standing in my spot when Damian appears in the open door. He looks down at the floor and seems confused for a second. The gift is not for you, tall man. It's for Finn.
"There's a rose on your floor," Damian says.
Finn steps out of the kitchen and a smile spreads on his face. I feel warm inside. He picks up the rose and smells it.
"It's been a while since she last gave me a gift," Finn says.
"Who?" Damian asks.
"I don't know her name. She's always been around since I was a child. My mother nearly chased her away but she eventually came back after I cried for her for a long time. I was a lonely kid," Finn says.
I remember hearing him cry. I tried so hard to stay away. His mother was throwing a fit over the picture. I don't know how it happened. I can't explain that part. She refused to accept it and I had to stay away so she wouldn't lose it completely. He cried for me several times and eventually I gave in and came back.
"Do you have a stalker?" Damian asks.
"It's not like that," Finn says. "Hold on. Let me show you."
Finn walks to the book shelf and takes out a photo album. He turns to the last page and points at a picture of us together. He was only 8 the day it was taken. I don't know how old I was. I don't even know if I should keep my original age or add the years to it. I don't know how many years have passed.
"That's her. The woman behind me in a yellow dress," Finn says. "My mother flipped out when she saw the picture. She threw it in the trash but I saved it. She doesn't know I still have it."
"Did she have a fallout with your mother since she disappeared out of your life?" Damian asks.
"My mother took this picture of me. We were alone in the garden. There was no one else there," Finn says.
Damian looks up with furrowed brows. I want to tell him that Finn is telling the truth. They didn't see me that day. His mother never saw me but Finn used to when I visited him. Since that day Finn has never been able to see me but he knows I'm there when I leave small gifts. He seems to like roses a lot. That's why I pick one for him often.
"She's a ghost," Finn says.
"Ghosts don't exist," Damian says.
"Call it what you want. A ghost, an echo from the past, someone living in the shadows, hiding in the darkness and in the walls. She's always been there. I used to be able to see her but since she came through on this picture and my mother lost it, she disappared. She returned but only in spirit, so to speak. I've never seen her again but I can always feel her near. Like right now. I can feel her watching me but I can't see her," Finn says.
Damian takes the photo album from Finn and studies the picture for a few seconds. That yellow dress was the last thing I ever wore, and now I'll never get out of it.
"That's crazy," Damian says. "I believe you. You have no reason to lie but it's still crazy."
"I know but I don't want it any other way. I like her. She comforted me as a child and she still checks in on me from time to time as an adult. I crossed a whole sea to come wrestle here and she followed to make sure I'm okay," Finn says.
"What's her name?" Damian asks.
"I don't know. She never said a word to me. She just sat there and smiled and nodded. She would play with me but never speak to me," Finn says.
If only he knew that I can't speak. I was never able to say a word in my life. I'm from a time where women weren't allowed to read and write either so I can't even write down my own name to tell him. Me not being able to speak was what killed me in the end. I was ridiculed, hated and eventually chased down and killed for no other reason than I wouldn't be able to scream for help. They called me the worst names known to man, and they took my life for something I couldn't change. Something I was born with. The inability to speak.
"You could always pick a name for her," Damian says.
"That's disrespectful. She has a name and I'll be happy if she ever chooses to tell me. Until then I'll simply call her my friend," Finn says.
Friend. I like that word. I never had any friends growing up. I was sent out to work at a way too early age, and I experienced horrors no other woman ever should in a lifetime. I was easy to hurt when I couldn't scream or say a word to anyone about it.
"I better put the rose in some water," Finn says.
They walk back to the kitchen and he puts it in a small vase. He bought that vase specifically for my flower gifts. It makes me happy to know that someone actually bought something with me in mind. That has never happened before.
"So, yeah, that's the story of my ghost friend. She's a good woman and I hope one day she'll show herself to me again," Finn says.
I want to, Finn. I want to so bad. I don't know why you can't see me anymore. I've tried everything in my power to make you see me but it's like your vision got clouded since that picture was taken. I don't blame you. I don't blame anyone. It just happened. Another thing I can't explain.
"Sometimes I wonder," Finn sighs. "She must be so lonely in her world."
I am but that's okay. I still have you that I see from time to time. I'm living through you. I'm watching your life from the sideline. I'm living in the shadows and you're living in the light. You gotta keep shining, Finn. Don't be sad. I'm okay. It doesn't hurt that much when I get to see you.
"Maybe you can see a medium or a witch doctor or something to pass a message through or help you work on opening your third eye again so you can see her like you used to," Damian says.
"Maybe," Finn says. "I really wish I knew her name. Maybe I could look her up and find her story online or even a grave somewhere."
Elishia. My name is Elishia, Finn. I don't know if I have a surname. I was never told anything about my name other than my first name. There is no grave and no story to tell. They left me in the forest and the animals took care of the rest. My bones have long gone, and there's no memory of me anywhere but in your heart. I don't need anyone else to remember me. I only need you. Keep living for me, Finn, and I'll keep being here when you need me. I know my place. My part of the world. I know the shadows inside out. I'm okay, Finn. I truly am. I'm okay.