"I'm not doing that" Zuko said for the tenth, or hundredth, time "This is not what I stand for as Fire Lord"
"Stop being so dramatic, please. It's for the good of our nation, and you didn't even hear my full plan yet"
"Nothing good can come of it"
"You're the only ruler in the whole world that could possibly think that being aware of what goes on in your country is a bad thing" she scoffed at his insistence, rolling her eyes.
"This is well beyond being aware and you know it"
"No, Zuko, I don't know what kind of paranoia is making you so afraid of doing something so ordinary"
"Ordinary?" he couldn't help but snap "Where? In Ba Sing Se?"
"These men won't be Dai Li, and you're nothing like Kuei" she assured him in a tone that was surprisingly gentle for someone that was visibly annoyed "But you know as well as I do that if you don't have eyes and ears everywhere, it'll only be a matter of time before someone takes advantage of it"
He knew she was right, but he couldn't help but wish there was a different plan.
Azula wanted to make sure every part of their nation, from the smallest island to biggest one, from the great capital itself to the smallest village, had a special report made of it, keeping track of everything. Supplies of food and medicine. How many taxes the people paid and how much money they had overall. Conflicts with nobles, or the nation's army, or foreigners. News of any major crimes, disease outbreaks, and natural disasters. General complaints, praises, and demands. And, most importantly, rumors of rebellion, treason, or political schemes - especially from the few people that still intended to wage war against the whole world.
But she'd have former Fire Nation soldiers perform that task. He knew that, even with all the people that had either resigned or been thrown in prison like Ozai after the war, their nations army was still too large, and didn't have as much use as before. And since some of these people had been raised to do nothing except invade or control territories in the Fire Lord's name, helping them find a different path in life would be very difficult, and cost a lot of time - time he didn't have, considering all his new responsibilities, both as a ruler and as Azula's caretaker. Her plan would give these people something to do with their lives, and if it worked it'd mean no one could ever pose a genuine threat to Zuko, his family, or his new allies.
Yet he still had to wonder how would it look for him, someone who promised to be a kind ruler that would meet the needs of his people and bring forth an era of peace, to have those same people under surveilance. His sister swore that the men that had terrorized Earth Kingdom territories under their father's rule would not even be considered for this job, but what were the chances that their subordinates had not already internalized the idea that the only way to enforce the will of their regent was through threats that they fully intended to carry out if displeased? How could he keep them in check, sparing his people of any tyrany, without completely undermining their authority, and thus making the whole thing pointless? And how could Zuko be sure that these men would truly tell him about any plots against him, instead of joining any supporter Ozai still had?
"I just don't see how it could ever work without crossing a line" he says, head down, like he's already defeated.
Azula places a gentle hand on his shoulder "This is why you shouldn't get all dramatic until I'm talking. I know the perfect way to make sure they do their job perfectly" she had that super confident look in her eyes that never failed to let Zuko know trouble was ahead.
At least now she'll actually tell me the truth if I question her.
"But am I going to like your plan?" he asked with skepticism.
"No" she answers bluntly "But I know you'll agree to it once you actually hear me, so no more interruptions, dum-dum"
Only Azula could make a Fire Lord feel like a spoiled child that had just been scolded by his parents.
"Firstly, after we decide which soldiers will be keeping track of everything, we're going to select two more people for each group, taking notes on all the same things, but without letting the others know. They'll make sure nothing is hidden from us, no tragic story is made up, no problem goes unaddressed, and no one gets too greedy. And these two soldiers won't have access to each other's reports. And if anyone is proven to have lied in their reports, they will be dealt with harshly."
"How harshly?" he asked, dreading the answer.
"I can't always be the one with the brilliant ideas, Zuko. You're the Fire Lord, what would deem to be an appropriate punishment for someone who lied to you? I'm curious"
He thinks it over for a moment before responding "I guess I'd make them spend some time in prison if they're proven to have lied on the reports, or stole resources meant for the people. If they truly hurt anyone or conspire in favor of our father, they'll be locked away permanently"
She cups both of his cheeks with her hands, looking into his eyes, smiling at him with amusement and pride. It got his heart racing "Very good, Zuzu. But as Fire Lord, you should never say 'I guess', at least not to anyone except me. Don't speak up until you make up your mind, and don't take it back unless you absolutely have to. And always sound confident. Understood?"
He nodded then fought the urge to let out a sigh of relief when she finally pulled away and stopped making him feel like she was staring right into his soul. He still didn't fully understand why Azula had such an effect on him - or why he didn't mind getting that touchy when he was the one initiating it.
"And how are going to select these men?"
"We're going to meet up with all of them together, avalluate them one by one. But for the ones undercover, before they go anywhere, I'll make them, and their families, feel like completely worthless and disposable, and then you'll let them know how much faith you have in them and how grateful you are for their service"
He's taken aback by her words "Why make them feel worthless?"
"So they hate, fear and resent me, and you look preferable by comparison."
"That's out of question!"
"Zuko, be reasonable. You'll need someone the people can blame whenever we have to do something they don't like, and I'm perfect for the role. The people that are loyal to you already hate because of our past, and the ones that are loyal to our father see me as the one that was too weak to defeat his foes"
"I'm not dragging your reputation through the mud to protect mine. I'm the one who has the final say on everything, it's only fair that I get the backlash for bad or unpopular decisions"
"This isn't about what's fair, it's about the good of our nation, and what we need is an icon people can raly behind without hesitation. Everyone already expects the worst from me at all times. Play into that expectation. Just picture it: we spread the rumor that I'm planning to have those soldiers terrorize our people, take all their money, decide when they are or aren't allowed to leave their cities or even their homes, and then in comes the brave, kind Fire Lord Zuko, putting his wicked sister in her place, using the nation's army for good instead of evil. Don't you see how much easier your life would be?"
He could, and he hated that part of him was tempted to accept that offer.
But Zuko had not gotten this far by being a coward. Naive, foolish and reckless maybe, but never hiding behind someone else, ready and willing to push them into the fire in his place. He had survived the wrath of his father, he'd survive the rage of his people if he had to.
And Azula was one of his subjects, a fragile young girl that had finally started to trust him to be her protector, and, more importantly, she was the annoying little sister he grew up with, resented, and loved. He had as much of an obligation to her as he had to his reign and to himself.
He would not betray her. He would not allow her to harm herself, in any way, not even indirectly, through this scheme that could only ever benefit him.
"You're going to be my right hand and a proud, beloved member of the royal family. Anything else is unnacceptable"
"But if w-"
"My decision is final, Azula"
Her expression hardens a bit "Very well, my Lord. In that case, I think it's time we change some other things about your image since you insist on being difficult"
"What things?"
"You're too accessible to everyone. Unless there's a serious matter that needs your input, or there's some big event, people shouldn't see you. That's part of why I say we need a report system. Answering to the demands of your people is one thing, but you're still superior to them in every way"
"I don't want to seem arrogant" he had argued.
"You won't. You'll merely be acting like a proper, busy Fire Lord. Just trust me, dum-dum. I know you want to be seen as a merciful, just leader, but a role as important as this demands you to be seen as a god on Earth"
"That would never work"
"You didn't even try yet!" she pouted "It wouldn't even be that difficult. You'd just need to have your guards around, generate flames behind you in the throne room, and more importantly you'd have to dress the part. All the Fire Lord regalia you're entitled to, instead of..." she looks at his simple clothes - black pants and old red shirt that was staring to get a little faded - with open contempt and disgust.
Of course, Azula was dressed in her like a perfect princess. Hair in a top-knot, with a headpiece holding it in place. Armor making her look both elegant and prepared for any possible conflict. And the make-up to help hide any imperfection or sign that she needed any rest at all. He hated to admit it, but one could have wrongfully assumed she was the Fire Lord.
"Don't we have far more important matters to take care of than giving me a spa day?"
She smiles, amused "Now that you mentioned it, I suppose a day at the spa would do wonders for you. You'd get a decent haircut, your skin would look smoother, and maybe you'd be less grumpy and actually listen to the person you insisted on having as your advisor"
"It never made you more agreable"
"Don't act like you don't love being pampered. You're not exactly hideous, but it won't hurt to pay more attention to your looks, especially in front of other people. We're only a few weeks away from the first anual celebration of your rise to power, it'd be the perfect opportunity for you to actually look like royalty again"
He groaned at being reminded of said celebration. A huge feast in his honor, with all his loved ones around and the people cheering for him, should be something to be excited about, especially now that Azula was home again. But that kind of big event also required the Fire Lord to be seen with a woman he was already commited to, or had the intention to court. At the very least he'd need someone with him to keep apparences - and after his break up with Mai just four months ago, he wasn't really eager to start dating again, nor to pretend to.
He knew better than to bring up that complaint to Azula, so he focused on the topic she actually wanted to discuss.
"You're exagerating, everyone can already recognize me as Fire Lord immediately"
"Yes, when you bother to wear your crown, which is rare"
"There's no need to do that on a regular day, at home. I don't have an issue with looking presentable in public, but if there's nothing too important going on, I want to just be comfortable"
"I never thought I'd miss your huge ego. You're the Fire Lord. If all the proper regalia is not to your liking, you can just have people alter it slightly. You don't get to just wear whatever is the most comfortable, and I'm pretty sure the crown can't weight more than your thick skull. You have an image to preserve, an ideal to live up to, an aesthetic to follow."
"I'm doing my own thing" he says, running out patience for this conversation "If my reign will be different than what our ancestors expected from the future of our nation, it only makes sense that I also don't look like them that much"
"Is that what this is about? Being mad that you look like the people you're related to?" she rolls her eyes, then playfully pinched his cheek, before letting her hand slide down to his chin "Don't worry, dum-dum won't. You have to grow the same hair and beard as our father just yet, that can wait a few years."
Zuko would have been less outraged at his sister if she had just slapped him across the face.
"We'll discuss this later" he says, already heading for the door.
"Zuko, come on, it was just a joke, don't take it personally"
But he did. It was what had always happened whenever Azula in particular teased him about anything. She knew exactly what buttons to press to make him lose his temper. He wanted to believe he was getting better at not letting small things get to him so easily - but this was far from a small issue for him.
"I said we'll talk later"
"You're being ridiculous and you know it"
He couldn't force the words he knew were cruel to not come out of his mouth.
"I'm not the one too scared to look in the mirror."
Not once in all those years he spent with Azula, not even during their Agni Kai the year before, had he seen her look so furious - and so hurt.
He didn't have time to so much as try to express the deep regret he immediately felt. She had already left the room before the words 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean it' were at the tip of his tongue, leaving him alone to fester on his guilt.
After Azula stormed out, Zuko locked himself in his room for a few hours - he didn't really want to be alone, but he wasn't foolish enough to try to go talk to her again before he had fully calmed down as well, when anything and everything she said was likely to make him lash out again to distract from his own wounded pride.
He regretted it when she didn't join him for lunch, and then again later during dinner time, when she slid his apology letter right back under the door before even considering reading it, then opened the door for three seconds just to throw said letter back on his face when he tried again. He felt bad, and he was worried, but he wasn't freaking out.
Not until she spent almost two whole days locked up in her room, leaving on the third just to give him very brief advice on a few things, looking like she had barely slept, then running back to her safe-heaven as fast as possible, like even the smallest interaction with him took a toll on her now.
He felt awful.
I should have just explained it to her. She would have understood.
No, he wasn't covering mirrors like his sister was, but there was something fundamentally unnerving about seeing his own image and recognizing Ozai in all of his traits, even feeling like the man was the one staring back at him, not his own reflection.
Zuko knew that he would never allow himself to end up like father, that he had people that would make him see reason if he ever lost his way again, that the new era he was starting couldn't be more different from the vision his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had for their nation.
But it was easy to forget that when he was in the same palace, sitting on the same throne, being addressed by the same title, and looking more and more like him every single day.
Azula was right that looking like them would send quite a message to the people, even if Zuko never really acted like them. But it also felt like another cruel joke from the universe itself, that even when he did everything in his power to be his father's polar opposite, he would always have to resort to at least some of his tricks, even if only the harmless ones, to be taken seriously.
And now the person that was just trying to help, even if she enjoyed his misery a bit, was mad at him because he just had to get even, had to take it out on her because he couldn't take it out on Ozai.
Thankfully, after a while, he managed to come up with something he believed would make it up to her.
As she rushed back to her room after just a few minutes of cowardly standing outside his office, Azula tried not to feel pathetic for avoiding Zuko. It had been extremely childish of him to lash out at her just because she didn't want him to keep dressing like a peasant... but he had come to his senses. He was trying to remedy the situation.
And for some reason, the princess simply couldn't allow him to.
You don't deserve to be by his side.
You can't let him forget you don't tolerate such isolence.
You should be ashamed for disrespecting your Fire Lord.
If you don't stand your ground, he'll just do it again.
He can do what he wants, you're the one who can't afford to be a disaster.
He needs you more than you need him, remind him of it.
He probably doesn't even truly want you around, he just pretends to out of guilt.
The princess sighed in frustration and jumped back to the bed, resisting the urge to throw things around in a fit of rage. Such behavior was beneath any royal - even an insane one - and she was determined to never engage in it ever again.
The voices made it difficult. The more upset she got, the louder they became. And the louder they were, the more it angered and saddened her. And she hated that a simple comment from her brother, the kind of thing that would have had no issue dismissing in the past, was enough to break the fragile stability she was trying to mantain.
She didn't want to believe that Zuko truly saw her as just some pathetic, crazy person, and she knew that could say things he didn't mean whenever he felt threatened in any way - but did he really not mean it? Were those words truly just Zuko lashing out at her for teasing him first, or was there some truth to them? Did he regret bringing her home? Was he truly sorry? Was he only apologizing because he needed her advice? Was he-
"Are you okay?" the soft, high-pitched little voice her made the princess jump up from the bed, then stare in shock at this child that seemingly had no regard for her own safety crawled from under it, looking at her with concern.
Kiyi had in her eyes that disarmingly sweet look that only Ursa ever had, and that had puzzled Azula her entire childhood. Mother could look at her with such pity and concern, and, if she was lucky, even the purest affection one second, then look so cold and aloof the next - to her at least. Never to Zuko.
"Are you okay?" she repeated, fidgeting a bit, like she was about to burst with energy "You look sick, shouldn't you see a doctor?"
This was surreal. Far more illogical than any hallucination the princess had ever had.
She knew Kiyi had been playing hide and seek with mother, and that the woman couldn't find her anywhere, even with some of the guards and servants helping, as she had so kindly explained to Zuko as she had checked on his office just in case, not daring to so much as make eye contact with Azula. She probably had only done so because the princess had already made it clear she didn't to interact with her at all, but it still brought back some deeply unpleasant memories of being in the same room as Ursa and Zuko, trying in every way to get her attention for even a second, only to be politely ignored or shut down.
But this wasn't the only thing that made her feel like she had gone back time, this time as an observer instead of actually being part of the situation.
The princess used to stay hidden for hours and hours, until mother was absolutely terrified. She'd always get scolded very harshly afterwards, but it was worth it just to see her mom actually care for once, holding her tightly like she was the most precious thing in the whole world. It stopped working after a while, and Ursa would just be mad, nothing else. Azula felt foolish and swore off the game forever.
She had almost wanted to stick around to see how Ursa would react when the girl was eventually found, to see if she scream at Kiyi, or go straight for the hug - if she gave her a hug at all. But it would have been a pointless waste of time and she wasn't in any condition to risk seeing something that would likely be upsetting, no matter how, so she went back to her room.
She never thought this child would be stupid and bold enough to take advantage of her quick meeting with Zuko to make it her new hiding spot.
"Get out of here" Azula says once the shock wears off enough for her voice to work again.
"We're all worried about you, especially Zuko"
"Get out" she says it louder this time, but the little girl goes on like the words went in one ear and out the other.
"He's been so scared, he thinks you hate him. He's so sad, it'd break your heart if saw it"
"What do you want?" she asks, feeling honestly disoriented at this strange turn of events.
"Talk to our brother, he wants to see you"
Our brother, the words echo in her mind, and it takes all of Azula's strength to hold back the sheer hatred she feels for this child on that very moment. Maybe they were related by blood, but they had not grown up together. She didn't know Zuko his whole life like Azula did, and didn't know Azula herself at all. She had no right to speak as if they were one family.
"I'll speak to my brother when I'm ready. And you should get out of my sight if you know what's good for you."
The girl, to her credit and to Azula's dismay, looked completely unbothered by the obvious threat.
"But he got you a gift and everything!"
"... A gift?"
"Yes. He says it's a very special one too, that he knows you'll love"
"Did he send you here?" the idea was ridiculous, but the situation was so absurd already that this wouldn't have shocked her.
"No, he wanted it to be a surprise, but you won't let him talk to you about anything except Fire Lord stuff."
"Why are you here?"
"I told you, our brot-Zuko is worried about you. He won't stop talking about you, asking about you, worrying, talking about any idea he has to cheer you up. It's just like when you were still at the hospital, though I guess it's a bit less sad this time since at least you're home with us"
"Enough" she says, feeling her head spinning. It was flattering, and comforting, to know Zuko cared to the point that everyone could see it, but this was way too much to process at once, and this kid was getting on her last nerve already "Please... just leave"
The little girl actually looked sad and a bit apologetic this time "Okay. It was nice finally meeting you"
Azula sighed and let herself fall back on the bed. She hadn't even noticed Kiyi left the door open until she heard Zuko's voice.
"Can I come in?" he asked in a sheepish way that didn't suit him.
Azula almost told him to leave - but she saw that he had brought a book with himself, and wondered if that was the gift Kiyi had mentioned. Though she didn't really know how it was supposed to be special to the point of making everything okay.
Unless...
No, it couldn't be. There were supposed to be no copies left. Mother said it had taken her fifteen years to the one she had read to them, with pages and even entire chapters missing, and a cover that looked like it was going to fall apart if touched with anything except the greatest amount of care imaginable.
Yet as Zuko came closer and placed the book next to her on the bed, she could confirm it. It really was that old children's book that mother used to read to them, with every Fire Lord in the thousands of years of their nation's history turned into he protagonist of a short story.
The same book that had been banned for casting a bad light on some of said Fire Lords, mainly Sozin, who was turned into an evil king that eventually loses his crown to his twin - that was suspiciously simmilar to Avatar Roku.
Azula had never understood why mother was so attached to that book, even if the three of them liked it a lot. Once she found out her ancestry, things became a bit clearer.
But back then, even a prodigy like Azula couldn't care that much about the implications of privately reading something critical of a Fire Lord, or many - even if she had found it irritating that mother would pretend to be offended each time she'd publically mention how old and frail Azulon looked.
All the could care about was sharing a special secret with her mother and Zuzu, reading something nobody else would have access to, and, of course, getting a look at the biggest glory that their nation once had, and had senselessly decided to bury: dragons. Their absurd power, graceful flights, and the way they would bond with their riders for life and make them feel like Gods on Earth.
Azula and Zuko had always loved the thought of having one of said creatures for themselves, even if they weren't too happy about the idea of sharing one, but it was still preferable to having none. She couldn't understand why Sozin had decided to kill them all after his own died, and, in all honesty, she couldn't wrap her mind around the thought that such other-wordly creatures were truly gone, after just a few decades of humans attacking them.
After hearing a myth about Ember Island having dragon eggs hidden in it's woods, she had convinced Zuko to go looking for some with her. All they found were poisonous plants, a rash, and disappointment, so he tried to cheer her up the next day by picking up pretty little sea-shells with her at the beach. They weren't nearly as impressive or interesting as anything connected to dragons, but it was a kind gesture from a well-meaning dum-dum, and made for pretty necklaces and bracelets.
"How did you find this?" she asked, honestly amased.
"Uncle Iroh had a secret copy of it"
She rolled her eyes "Of course he did. Is it complete?" she couldn't help the hopeful tone in her voice.
"Yes" Zuko answered like an over-excited little boy that had just gotten a new toy to show off to his friends "I thought you'd be happy to have it. You loved it so much as kid."
She did. So much that she cried for days when father discovered and burned it, warning that next thing he found something like this, he would not hesitate to bring it to Azulon and let the man punish them in any way he saw fit. It was the first, and last, time she had dared to give him the silent treatment. Ozai didn't seem to mind it - assuming he noticed it at all.
"I'll admit" she was struggling to contain the emotion on her voice as she turned the pages, looking at all the detailed illustrations, marveling at how they seemed to be even more beautiful than she remembered "You sure know how to pick a good bribe to get what you want, Zuzu"
"It's not a bribe" he sat down on the bed and took her hand "It's a gift. You can have it even if you don't want to forgive me" the honesty in his tone affected her in ways he couldn't imagine, and that she couldn't fully understand.
Azula hadn't thought back to that happier part of her childhood in many years, the memories hidden away in some corner of her mind, where she kept the things that were, at the same time, too useless in any practical sense of the word for her to bother remembering, yet too important for her personally to ever be truly forgotten. But simply looking at the drawings in this book brought forth a large wave of nostalgia that threatened to bring tears to her eyes as comforting, familiar, vivid pictures were forming in her head.
A warrior rescuing the pretty maiden locked up in a tower by taming the beast that would kill anyone that got too close to the castle, kings and queens flying over the cities they were about to conquer, wise yet terrifying creatures guiding brave heroes through the spirit world, an animal of unwavering loyalty choosing to follow it's master to certain death instead of flying to safety then miraculously surviving... and a little girl and a little boy running around through the fields and woods of a magical island, hand in hand, wide and hopeful eyes, a thirst for adventure followed by a calm day at the beach, the sea gifting them little souvenirs...
Zuko wrapped his arms around her as the walls she had put up crumbled, gently running his fingers through her hair and kissing the top of her head as she tried to control her sobs. She felt a bit pathetic for crying, but for once the raw emotion and the reaction it got from her didn't make her feel exposed. Vulnerable, sure, but in the way one feels during a private, important moment that will cherish, not like she had just fallen right into someone's trap.
"I really am sorry for what I said"
"I know" she said, hesitantly pulling away after a minute or so - then punchig him in the arm.
"What was that for?!"
"For being an idiot and making me all emotional"
"You started it" he grabbed one her pillows and hit her with it before she had the time to react "And I already apologized" he hit her with it again "And I'm being nice" he threw the pillow aside "So be nice back"
She pouted, but allowed him to hug her again.
"Fine. But you're still an idiot"
"I can live with that" he held her tighter "Are you gonna let me in when I need to talk to you about anything, not just Fire Lord stuff?"
"Yes"
"And you're gonna get enough rest and not push yourself too hard?"
"Yes" she couldn't help but sound annoyed at how he had already guessed she hadn't been sleeping much.
"And you're gonna try to eat even when you're upset instead of sending all the food back immediately?"
"Yes"
"And you'll let me tell people how cute you are when you're all obedient, and you'll stop mocking me?"
"Don't push it"
"Had to try. Want to have lunch with me or would you rather eat alone?"
"I'm gonna eat here, but you can stay if you want"
"My princess doesn't mind my company anymore, huh?" he jokes, unaware of the chaos he unleashed on her mind with just two words.
My princess, my princess, my princess, my princess.
"Anything in particular that you want to eat today?"
My princess, my princess, my princess.
"Azula?"
My princess, my princess.
"Azula?"
"What?"
"Anything particular you want to eat today?"
"N-No, I don't really have anything in mind.
My princess.
"Okay, I'll tell them to start preparing everything" he kissed her cheek and went out the door, leaving his foolish, blushing princess behind.
"Don't you think it's a little late?" Zuko asked, seeing Azula at his office well past midnight, apparently trying to make up for the time they had wasted those past few days - even though she had promised not to push herself too hard.
"I couldn't sleep"
"I think going to your room, taking off that armor and actually laying down on the bed could help"
"This is important"
"No, it isn't"
"You don't even know what documents I'm going over!"
"I know it's something you didn't think I should look into, even though you said I should be aware of any major decision or issue. If I'm allowed to get a full night of sleep instead of dealing with it immediately, so are you"
"You can afford not to worry about the small things because you have someone to take care of it for you"
"And I'm the one in charge of taking care of you, and I say you're going to bed like a reasonable person"
"Why are you still up if sleep is so important?"
"We're not talking about me"
"Well, we should because you're the one who tires more easily"
"All the more reason for you not to give me an excuse to stay up so late" he snatched the document out of her hands again and forced her to stand up.
"This is ridiculous"
"No arguing with the Fire Lord"
"Fire Lord? I don't see a crown"
"No arguing with your older brother then" he conceeded, wanting to avoid another argument "Now, are you gonna go to your room willingly or do I have to drag you like a disobedient child?"
If looks could kill, Zuko would have been dead where he stood.
"Fine, my Lord" she scoffed and walked past him, making her way to her chambers. Once they made it there, he followed her into the room before she could close the door "What do you want?"
"Isn't your lady-in-waiting supposed to help you at all times, including preparing you to go to bed?" he teased, locking the door behind himself, still determined to commit to his promise of acting on any impulse of showing Azula affection, no matter how much nor at what time - and hoping that this would help ease what was left of his guilt.
Azula raised an eye-brow at him "Your mind continues to work in very strange ways, Zuko."
He shrugged, then got close to her again, slowly helping her remove all the armor she had on, then gently squeezing and rubbing both her shoulders for a moment, watching Azula's body relax a little bit as she let out a sigh of relief.
"Thought you weren't tired?"
"Shut up"
He chuckled and undid her top-knot, but then tied her hair up in a ponytail since he knew she didn't like wearing her hair down for sleep - or for most things - but made sure it wasn't too tight. For once Azula didn't have much make-up on, and Zuko liked the more natural look it gave her. Still, it was oddly satisfying for him to remove even that little bit of her 'mask', and couldn't help but lose focus for a moment, seeing how tired, delicate and beautiful she looked, cheeks naturally rosy, lips without that signature red tint, her eyes and even the contort of her face looking a bit softer.
"I know I look exhausted, but you don't have to stare"
"You look great" he said honestly, but judging from the eye-roll it earned him, he'd say Azula didn't believe it.
He removed Azula's belt, amused by the way her eyes refused to meet his as his hands moved around on her waist, then knelt before her to help her take her shoes off. He gave both of her small, delicate feet a small squeeze, a bit more firm than the ones on her shoulders. Azula leaned against one of the pilars of her bed for support.
"Such a devoted Fire Lord" she jokes.
"Such a docile princess" he retorns, making Azula narrow her eyes at him. She sits down on the bed and gestures for him to continue, and he massages her feet for a few minutes, a little too proud when it leads small gasps escaping past her lips as she relaxes further.
He stops even though he doesn't really want to. He'd rather keep pampering her, but she looks so tired, and it'll be easier to get her to actually listen to him and get some rest when she's being a dit more docile than usual.
He gets up and hands her a robe, turning around so she can put it on.
"There's something I want to talk to you about."
"And what would that something be?" she asked, voice a bit muffled by the shirt she's pulling over her head.
His eyes instinctively go to the spot where her mirror should be. He doesn't know why, since it wouldn't really let him see her reaction to his words, at most he would have gotten a glimpse of her undressing and for obvious reasons that wouldn't be something he'd want to see.
Still his eyes don't stray. He doesn't dwell on the strange impulse.
"The feast to celebrate the first full year of my reign"
"You have to go" she says, then taps him on the shoulder to let him know he could turn around and face her. It was strange how she could make a simple sleeping robe look like a luxirious dress any woman would kill to have.
"I know. I want you to come with me"
"Of course I'm gonna be part of it, I'm the princess and your new advisor. If I'm not there to show my support, people could get the wrong idea"
"That's not what I meant. I want you to come with me. I can't show up alone, and I don't want to do the whole courtship thing"
"And bringing your sister as your date is more appropriate and not at all embarassing? Wouldn't it be easier to just ask one of your female friends to go with you if you don't want it to be about romance?"
"People would still ask if that meant I was considering one of my friends as a potential bride. With you that would be out of question"
"Zuko, surely you understand that looking like you're already thinking of picking a future bride is an important part of your reputation, right? The mere promise of an heir helps keep the political stability"
"I'll be the perfect Fire Lord from now on" he offers "Wearing all the regalia, and being taken around in palanquins, and having walls of fire and scary guards behind, the whole thing. But only if you come to the feast with me, as my right hand, as one of the most important people in my life, basking in all the glory. No hiding in the shadows, no being my 'evil' advisor" he cups her face with both hands, eyes locked on hers "We're going as a unit or we're not going at all"
Azula does nothing but stare at him in disbelief for a what feels like an eternity before suddenly leaning in to press a quick kiss to his cheek, turning away from him as she says "I like it when you're all sweet to me"
Zuko ignores the sound of his heart beating in his ears and takes her hand in his "Is that a yes?"
"It's a maybe"
"Not good enough" he teases.
"Fine. It's a yes. But don't complain when we get weird looks"
"It will be worth it" he pulls her close and hugs her from behind. He intended for it be a quick hug, but Azula won't let him pull away and he won't complain.
"Are you sure you're fine?"
"I am" she promises, grabbing one of her hand and bringing it close to her face, holding it against her cheek for a moment.
Finally she lets go and Zuko heads for the door, but once she's already on the bed, she calls for him and he turns around.
She's looking at him with a tenderness that makes him feel a bit strange, guilty for something he can't quite understand, but he ignores it. The odd sensation is swept away as Azula says "Sorry for joking about dad. I didn't mean to hurt you, I just want to take care of you"
"I know. That's why I'm willing to try. I just... I just need you to be patient with me. I don't want to compromise too much of who I am just for the sake of a crown."
"If it's any consolation, you're much better looking even in your peasant clothes"
He chuckles "Thanks. Consider telling that to people when they ask why you agreed to be my date for the feast"
He manages to close the door before Azula's pillow can hit him in the face and leaves, all too pleased with him and clueless to the fact that that night will have a much greater effect on his life than he is anticipating.