"We need to do something."
These were the words that left Cid's mouth the moment he got to meet with his Inner Beasts.
"We can't go on like this," he continued, "How can I be a proper power the curtains if I am the one being fucked by my own subordinates?"
Hams placed paw on his face and sighed.
"That's why I need tentacles!" Cid raised his hands in a cool manner.
No, really, this is now getting ridiculous! At this point he wasn't even sure who is the one who gets the most enjoyment out of it! Probably not him…
Anyway. He needs to do something, or else his self-esteem will suffer. He is kidding, of course; girls are pretty happy, but, how to say that… He needs to up his ante! That's why he seeks for ways to increase the prowess in bed activities.
"Maybe, but why tentacles?" Todd probed.
"Oh, that's the simplest way to ensure that I can tend to all girls at the same time," Cid shrugged.
"I can't fault you for thinking like this, but surely there is another way to do that?" Hams' snout twitched.
"Even if there is, I don't know about it…" Eminence said grimly.
They all went silent. True to Cid's words, while he was definitely able to take any Shade one-on-one, doing it with seven of them at the same time… hard. Very hard. And no, he is not talking about that part of his body. The task is hard, not it… Though when Alpha is in her revealing suit… No, bad Cid! Stop thinking about women in revealing suits! And women without them, too!…
He groaned. In his past life, ignoring temptations of flesh was easy. In this life, up to a certain point he was able to do so, too. Yet ever since proposing to Seven Shades he was very, very eager for this kind of stuff. Is it because he is turning sixteen soon? Maybe?
Right, back to the topic. He needs to find a way to tend to all seven of them at once. Maybe not now, but he needs to. In the meantime, however…
"Hams, how is our project going?"
"We have finally managed to establish a constant connection between worlds," hamster fixed his glasses, "The easiest one was the medieval world. The altars have been built en masse, ensuring an easy, stable connection. In fact, we started slowly getting Faith energy from the other side, albeit with some losses."
"Uh-huh, and the developed one?"
"That one is a bit harder, since we have only one altar there… However, we still managed to connect properly."
"Well, we are in no rush, anyway. Actually… yes, I think I have an idea what to do now…"
Cid stood up and disappeared from Soul Space.
"And you shall receive judgement…! No, this one sucks."
Cid stood in front of the mirror and practiced his speech.
"Heed my word: I am… Man, I didn't even create a name yet!"
Yes, preparations for stage are important. If you can't deliver your point in the flashiest way possible, people would be less likely to pay you any attention.
"Alright, take two. Heed my word: I am the bringer of salvation. I am the judge of wicked. Pray, and I shall answer. Curse, and I shall retaliate… Oh, yes, this one definitely goes into the list!"
Yep, that one is for his deity look. Now, next one is…
"Reveal yourself, or else I will have to…"
To. Yeah, failure again. What can be used as-
"As expected of you, my Lord: even though I just came to the room, you have already found me despite all my espionage skills."
"Quite so, Nu."
Fuck.
He didn't expect someone to actually be here. Like, didn't he place a sign 'Do not enter'?… No, wait, he actually didn't. Man. He was so engrossed into practice that he didn't even check the surroundings. So lame…
"My Lord, I have a report," the brown-haired woman bowed.
"Hmm? Something that ignores the Shades and goes directly to me?" Cid honestly was surprised. Like, if organization's leader takes every small deal into his hands, what's the point of subordinates?
"Correct, Lord Shadow," Nu took out the stack of papers, "Please, have a look at this."
"Well, let's see what is this…" he muttered and unsealed the documents.
Mitsugoshi's (and Shadow Garden's) help for Oriana, uh-huh, that one is expected… Mitsugoshi actually grew so big that its leave could threaten the entire kingdom? Now that's neat, girls surely did a great work in all fields… Man, to think that just two years ago Gamma was small and cute girl that slipped on almost everything… She still slips on almost everything, but now she's tall and beautiful.
Ahem, back to the point. Mitsugoshi's branch in Velgalta… Oh, isn't it the country of his Heroine no. 3? Annerose? Wait, they actually managed to grow here even before he reunited with them? That's… wild.
That's really wild, but… What's the point? Doesn't he already know that girls made a world-controlling organization?
He raised his gaze at Nu and quirked his brow. Nu blinked at him and looked at the paper herself.
"Oh…" she paled a little, "Please, forgive me for wasting your time, my Lord, I brought incorrect papers…" she took out another stack of documents and this time properly checked them, "These ones are important."
"Ah, good… And before you ask for punishment, the previous ones gave me a good look at how girls fared so far on their own, and I was pleased with the results. Continue on your work," he spoke in advance.
"…Thank you for your praise, Lord Shadow," Nu beamed. Man, these zealots…
"If there's another important deal, please wait outside, I will call for you once I am finished."
"By your orders, Lord Shadow," she bowed again and left the room.
Alright, time to dig in.
Iris Midgar clears out the corruption in Midgar, assisted by Crimson Order, an elite squad of knights that she herself made, and Alexia Midgar… Ah, they are at finishing stages. Sucks. For him. Who knows what kind of roleplay he could do here? Eh, it's fine, he now has endless opportunities to make stages.
Rose Oriana finished making a proper military in her country after being provided with instructors from Shadow Garden… Oh, yeah, he remembers the squads in Lawless City. Nice, nice. He affects major forces without so much as moving a finger! This is what being a power behind the curtains is like!
Hm, hm… Oh, results of Beatrix' and Annerose's training. Let's see… Man, Lambda didn't hold back at all, huh? Well, he did say he wants the training to be as harsh as possible, but this kinda goes way above whatever he imagined… No, really, making two professional swordswomen do basic push-ups? For hours, at that? Even he was not so strict when training Nishimura… By the way, what's about her? How does she fare?
He peeked at the display in his Soul Space in curiosity. Apparently, she was sitting on some kind of throne…
"Queen Melromarc," Akane spoke dully. She was so done with all this ruling bullshit already…
"Ah, Lady Shield…"
"Crowbar."
"Right, Lady Crowbar…" at least the queen had the ability to maintain a friendly face, unlike one trash king, "I hope you understand that current situation is quite…"
"You have left your country and didn't even leave a single safeguard here…" Nishino yawned, "Which resulted in bashing of the Shield Hero…" she yawned again; when was the last time she slept properly? Fuck it, she takes a vacation and goes fishing for a week after this meeting is over, and let the country burn.
"Indeed, and we do regret it very much…"
"'We'? Who's… we? There's no 'we'."
"Excuse me, Lady Crowbar, by 'we' I mean myself and rulers of other countries," queen smiled politely.
"Doesn't matter. If it was anyone else, say, an average boy from Japan, he would probably be accused of all the world's evils and forced to fight off the Waves for a generous offer of being left alive for as long as it needed, and then be offed the moment Waves end. He would also get no support since he's the evil incarnate, basically Devil himself," queen flinched at Akane's words, "In short, no, your regret doesn't amount to shit. Wanna argue with that? My crowbar will do the talks," emerald gem on the handle shone menacingly. What a bloodthirsty tool she has… that's good.
Queen Melromarc only stared at Akane with 'friendly' smile.
"Please, reconsider, Lady Crowbar."
"No point in considering shit, Queen. You fucked around, you found out. Not every Hero you summon is gonna happily jump on the dots; you lucked out in summoning me. If you summoned one guy I know pretty well, he would watch the world burn and giggle in the process."
"I do know that many Heroes did not act… heroic, but they still are chosen by the Legendary Weapons. You all are needed to protect this World…"
"And I have proven otherwise with giving a good training to soldiers. Now instead of praying for Heroes villagers can see that their country can hold on on its own, and even then they know that the Hero is still there, in case things go south. Isn't that better?" Akane asked directly.
Queen had no words to retort that.
"Oh, and about other countries; I don't give a shit about them, honestly. If people want to, they can join us and help against the Waves. If they don't want to, however…" Akane shrugged, "Who cares?"
"…That's not quite Shield-like thinking."
"I didn't choose to be summoned. The only reason I am still here is the contract with the World, and once its fulfilled, I am a free bird, allowed to take everything that I earned here."
"I see…" Queen spoke quietly.
"If you worry about your throne, then again, I will leave at some point. Though you will have to prove to citizen that you at least can maintain the level I got, so…" Akane shrugged again.
At this moment doors suddenly opened, revealing a small girl with angel-like wings, white dress, similarly white hair with… three cowlicks?
"Greetings, Crowbar Hero."
Akane stood up.
"This is the first time someone actually managed to speak my title right without me having to fix them… Alright, I already like you. What do you want?" she spoke friendly.
"Allow me to introduce myself… I am Fitoria, the Queen of the Filolials," she curtsied.
"Filolials, Filolials…" Akane muttered, "Oh, these bird creatures. Never knew they had a queen…"
"And I have come for one simple reason," girl stared directly at Nishino, "Return the Weapons to their Wielders and act as one team."
"Hell no."
Not to mention that these guys were all around stupid, even if she did forgive them, that wouldn't change the fact that they were hell knows where-
"The other Legendary Heroes are currently under my protection. It is imperative that you are to return their Weapons," Fitoria repeated with empty gaze, "Else I will have to cull off the current Heroes and let the new ones be summoned."
And, well, everyone tensed up at this declaration. Even people not related to Melromarc knew that Akane did way more good than bad since coming to this World, what to speak about the extremely loyal soldiers and citizen that sung praises to Crowbar Hero every day? Yeah, no wonder Fitoria was immediately surrounded by people.
"Your loyalty is commendable," Filolial Queen nodded, "However, Heroes must work together. They have to. Please, reconsider."
Akane signed for everyone to disperse and took out her crowbar.
"I see. You leave me with no choice," girl closed her eyes and…
Warning!
Your skills are on lockd0www##
…
Reboot in the process.
Ah, yes, Anti-Lockdown Technique. Haven't used that since Earth era.
"What?…" Fitoria's eyes widened.
"Tried to take away my powers?" Akane chuckled and pointed her crowbar at the Filolial, "Sorry, bird, I have earned them fair and square, without any RPG shit. You can't take that away."
In the next moment, crowbar launched itself onto the girl.
Weird knowledge added.
Permissions to fuse Weapons were granted.
Wrath Shield was added into skill tree.
Wrath Shield is in the process of rebranding…
Wrath Shield was successfully rebranded!
'Unparalleled Wholesome Loving Crowbar of Wrath' was added into skill tree!
Akane stared at the messages on her RPG screen as she took out the Weapon gems.
"Your naming sense sucks just as much as Kageno's."
Crowbar shone in resentment.
Meanwhile, Minoru the Goose happily chipped on the Wave monsters' meat. He worked hard to get it, after all!
"Who's naming sense sucks? Mine?! Impossible!" Cid fumed.
And what's about the name, anyway?! Did she see something that he didn't? Who was she talking to, anyway? That bird?
Eh, nevermind. Seems like Eminence-in-Training was doing well, almost as good as he was actually! But she's still young, a lot of time for her to make a worldwide force… Though… She is not Eminence in Shadows, right? She's just Eminence. Well, still good, anyway! Especially for him, since she's actually his, mastermind behind the curtain, disciple! Hams, don't forget to record everything she did. He wants to watch more at some point.
Right, time to summon Nu back. What is that second deal, he wonders?…
I dunno, guys.
Crowbar Hero deserves her own work at this point, but I doubt I would be able to go with two works at the same time, especially considering that, while humorous in nature, Crowbar Hero still maintains some sense of realism despite her being blessed with 70% of Cid's luck, unlike, well, Cid.