Chapter 4

Gone Yet Never Forgotten

A/N: This chapter is completely dedicated to Liason. If you don't support them. I suggest you stop reading. Now. I I may have switched up some facts btw. Just so that they work with this story.

After waking up in the chapel, Elizabeth decided that she had had enough of feeling sorry for herself. It wasn't going to change anything that had happened. All she needed to do was move on, be a mom to her kids. So with that thought in mind, she arranged to pick the kids up a few hours later and went home so she could get the house ready for dinner. However the figure on the steps had other ideas in mind.

Elizabeth pulled into her driveway, shocked to see Jason on her front step. She sighed and put the car in park. What was he doing here? Didn't he get his full of her yelling earlier? Elizabeth looked him over before she got out of the car. His sandy blonde hair was parted at the side as if he had kept running his fingers through it profusely. His black leather jacket-signature for him was all snug and fit him in all the right places. Sitting on her steps, he didn't look angry, he just looked resigned she noted as she got out of her car and started walking towards him.

"Jason, what do you want?"

"I figured we should talk."

"I think you've said enough" Unlocking her door, she tried to shut it his face but he put his hand out to stop it.

"Actually, you're the one whose done the most talking." He gave her his signature smirk but she wasn't having it as she placed her purse on the table and crossed her arms to face him.

"Yeah well that's because Stone Cold Jason Morgan doesn't talk. He let's the other people do the talking, that way they go away a lot sooner." She throws his words from 2001 back in his face.

"Elizabeth"

"Don't Elizabeth me. I told you that if you wanted to continue this fight, then bring it on"

"I don't want to fight, I just want to talk."

"Well I don't. You don't get to just walk into my house Jason and demand to talk to me. You lost that right a long time ago.

"See that's what I wanted to talk to you about, your outburst from earlier." Jason sat down on the edge of her couch.

"An Outburst? Really, that's what you're going to chalk it up too? Me acting like a child?"

"That's Not what I said. Why do you keep putting words in my mouth. You're constantly twisting around what I say into what you think I said! He was trying to be patient but she kept putting him on the defensive. He didn't have to be defensive. He didn't do anything wrong. She is the one who lied and kept the truth for him for 7 months.

"Here's an idea...How about you just stop talking to me in general?" Elizabeth asked.

"Wait..What? What is wrong with you? We can't just stop talking. We have Jake!"

"OH SO NOW JAKE MATTERS? Where was this devotion to our son all those years ago huh?"

"ELIZABETH YOU KNOW I DON'T REMEMBER THAT TIME! STOP HOLDING IT AGAINST ME!" So much for a normal conversation he thought as he stood up to face her.

"RIGHT, YOU ONLY REMEMBER WHEN IT'S CONVENIENT FOR YOU!"

"WHAT? WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM?"

"YOU HEARD ME, YOU ONLY SAID YOUR NAME WAS JAKE BECAUSE YOUR REMEMBERED THAT NAME. YOU REMEMBERED A CONVERSATION WE ONCE HAVE BUT DO YOU DO ANYHTHING ABOUT IT NO? YOU ACT ON HELENA'S ORDERS TO KILL SAM BUT YOU REMEMBER THE TWO OF YOU IN BED, SO YOU STOP THE ATTACK. THEN YOU TELL HER ABOUT IT? SO TELL ME JAKE, DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU WANT TOO OR WHEN ITS CONVENIENT? IS YOUR MEMORY LOSS EVEN REAL? She is so angry her chest is heaving.

Where is all this coming from? He thinks. "Woah, wait a second. You don't really believe that?" Jason moves towards her but she holds up a hand and backs away slowly.

"What else am I supposed to think Jason. You act as if you've forgotten the months we spent before you knew the truth?

"Elizabeth you lied. For 7 months, you lied to my face. When did you decide that you got control over me? He asks angrily.

"Look I know what I did. I know it was wrong. I tried so many times to tell you the truth, but every time I came close, I lost the courage. Does that make me a coward? Yes. Does that make me a liar? Yes, but you want to know something Jason? I wouldn't change any of it." He looked up at her in shock.

"You wouldn't have changed lying to me for 7 months?"

"If it meant that we were happy, no probably not. But you want to know what I have learned recently? Happiness is fleeting, it comes and goes and sometimes it just stays gone. For me it's just going to stay gone. Something in her voice caused him to look up and pay attention. Her voice had gotten small and almost wistful.

"What did Patrick tell you in the exam room?"

"None of your business." Already she was defensive and on her guard.

Growling low under his breath, he shook his head. This was not getting them anywhere. He was angry. She was angry and tired all together flushed from probably yelling at him so much. There was a spark gone from her eyes. The ones he loved so much but it hurt too look at them knowing how they betrayed him.

"Elizabeth I am asking because you seem upset and I care. Look I know you're not happy that I moved out but you did that remember, by lying to me. Now I want to talk to you about what happened at the hospital, if you would just listen or tell me what it is that Patrick said that got you this upset. It must have been pretty bad"

Enraged, she just stared at him. Now he wants to know. Now? She didn't want to do this anymore. She looked up at the ceiling to gather her thoughts. She could continue this screaming match they had going or she could kick him out. She decided for the latter because she physically couldn't do this anymore. She was tired of fighting.

"Jason take your "caring" and shove it up your ass. I could care less anymore," That wasn't true but she needed him gone so she could lie down. She was feeling very tired. " It doesn't surprise me anymore, you can just turn off your feelings and that's it. Once you decide you're done, once you put someone away in your mind. They are gone. You can love people, but once they break your heart, you move on and you let go...I'm no different. He voice was said but strong as if she was trying to not show how she really felt.

"How's you do it? Can you teach me?" Jason hears her voice inside of his head once again but stays quiet.

"Silent as always. You know you never used to be like this," she turns and walks toward her mantle where the pictures are. "You and I...we used to talk. Normally, we'd be on the docks. Whether I was there first and you saw me or vice versa, we could always talk. Then when Jake got kidnapped and I was so terrified...

"Jason You Go Find My Baby!" He heard her voice screaming at him in panic

"You decided to end things. You told me that it was too dangerous and I agreed and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret it. I wonder sometimes how things would have turned out if I hadn't given up. Then again, if I hadn't walked out of your penthouse all those years ago, maybe we wouldn't have had Jake and despite everything, I wouldn't change that. Before or after the accident."

"All I did back then was look back on the past and regret it, but you taught me how to live in the present. It was an amazing gift Jason, I don't think you ever knew just how much I fell in love with you."

Stunned Jason stood there as moments started to flash in his head. Him holding her in an his arms as she's all dressed up. "I'm not doing what I want to do." "I know" Their first kiss in her studio. "What do you want? "I want you." Him learning the truth about Jake, "Lucky's not the father of this baby. You are." The moment he said "I love you" on the overlook. Flashes upon flashes just kept coming back to him and all he could see was her.

"Don't be another person I have to hide my feelings from"

"To Cam..From Santa?"

"Just be glad you're too old for a time out."

"His name is Jacob Martin"

"Jason, I am standing here with my heart in my hands."

" I don't need for you to tell me that it's not going to be easy or that there are going to be brick walls, I just need you to tell me if you feel the same way or am I just crazy?"

"I notice you when you are around."

"Love shouldn't be safe"

"Jason. I think you need to go, we can finish this fight later...Jason are you listening to me?" She turned to face him. God, she was beautiful with her dark curls and bright eyes that were just begging to be left alone but he couldn't do it.

"Elizabeth, I remember." Shocked she turned around to face him. "Remember what?"

"I remember you." He started to move towards her again but she shook her head.

"I don't believe you."

"You know I wouldn't lie about something like this. You know me."

"Jason, I thought I knew you, I guess I don't anymore. You're not the same man I fell in love with all those years ago and you're not the same man I fell in love with months ago. You've changed and maybe that's my fault. Hell. It probably is my fault but..." She started to run her fingers through her own hair.

"Elizabeth, I have never lied to you. Not before and and not after. You may not believe me know but you will." He wasn't about to give up not after getting his memories back. He knew that it wouldn't be easy to convince her that his memories were back but now that they were..they had a lot of work to do. Together.

"Jason just stop. Go back to Sam, Carly and Sonny. Go back to the life you really want. The life that I don't fit into apparently. Just go. Go be their drone, go pick up after them. Go save Sam. Go on adventures with her. Go running to help Carly every time she calls. Go be Sonny's enforcer again. Just stop pretending that you care and go. I won't even be mad at you. I did this. I created this mess 7months ago and I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting them for you. I thought that by lying I would be able to keep you and all I did was lose you in the end, well I'm done now. I am taking my name out of the running, You can go live your life the way you're meant to live it and me and the boys will live ours..with out you." Elizabeth walked over to the door and opened it as she looked over at him with tired eyes.

"Fine, I'll go for now" He stopped in the doorway facing her but she refused to look at him " but this isn't over. I have my memories back" She rolled her eyes. "No, listen" He put his hand to her soft face and tilted it up towards him. "I have them back and I know what it is I want but we need to start over. We need to go back to being friends and we have a lot that we need to talk about."

"Jason. Our timing has never been good and once again you're too late. We're done. It doesn't matter if you got your memories back. It doesn't matter because I still did what I did and we are still where we are. I won't go down this road again. I just don't have another round in me."

"What does that mean?" He was actually starting to worry. She wasn't talking like herself.

"Nothing. Goodbye Jason." Elizabeth closed the door in his face and slid down the back of the door and started to cry silently. It was over. It had to be.

Jason stood in front of her closed door confused. One minute she was yelling at him, the next she was sad and then she was defensive and then she was crying. Her emotions were all over the place. She didn't look well and he noticed that she kept crossing her hands over her stomach every time she mentioned anything. She didn't even believe him when she said that he had his memories back. Jason thought she would have been happy to hear that, but instead she just looked sad and wistful, like it didn't matter anymore. She said as much but her knew Elizabeth and this wasn't her. Staring at her door one more time, Jason headed towards the street. He may not know what was going on with the mother of his son, but she was a woman and when in doubt always ask another woman. He couldn't ask Sam. That was out of the question. While his memories of both women came back, he just didn't have the same emotions or feelings towards Sam. He was going to have to deal with that but in the mean time, he had a certain blonde best friend to go see and if that didn't work...well he could always go to Patrick. Either way he was going to find out what was going on with Elizabeth and make her believe in herself again...and then he maybe he could make her believe in them again.

A/N: Alright everybody, hope you liked this chapter . Please R&R. Your reviews keep me motivated. Oh and Viva La Liason! Lol sorry, just had to say that.