Chapter 10

Letting Go Is Never Easy

A/N Hey everyone. Thanks for the reviews. Sorry it's been so long. I was recently admitted to the hospital for some testing and I finally have my laptop from home.

Now onto my story. This chapter is going be a JaSam chapter. Now don't get too mad at me...its not what you think. Oh and if you're looking for it to be a Sam bashing then you can stop reading here. I am laying groundwork here so be patient:)

Samantha Morgan was wandering around her apartment looking at old photographs. Taking a sip of the drink in her hand she sighed. Look at how happy they used to be? Jason and Sam. United. It was them against the world for a while. She was Bonnie to his Clyde. Now the world was playing a cruel joke on her and Sam couldn't wrap her head around it.

When she thought Jason had died, it felt as if a piece of her heart died with her. When she found out he was alive, her heart finally felt whole again and now it was threatening to break all over again. She had to say goodbye to him...only this time it was because he was going to choose Elizabeth. He hadn't said anything to her since the hospital other than to text her saying he had some news, but she could see it in his eyes.

In the past few weeks since finding out he was Jason Morgan, he was moody and very irritated. Sam had thought at first it was because Elizabeth had known and lied for months. If looks could kill Elizabeth would be ten feet underground and Sam would have been the one to do it. How she Hated that woman! Elizabeth was a liar and pretended to be a Saint when she was anything but. For years she had watched Jason cater to Elizabeth's needs because that woman could play him like a fiddle and she used his son to do it.

Well Jason finally had wised up to it, or so she had thought as Jason had cut ties with the woman. Sam knew it killed him to be kept from his son but she had always thought that was Elizabeth's doing. Just another way for her to dig the knife in Jason's back. Sam hated her oh yes, but she always knew that Elizabeth did love Jason in her own twisted way. What she was finally starting to realize was that Jason loved Elizabeth too. She's seen it for the last few weeks. It looked as if he was in physical pain to hear her name or to even see her. He refused to talk about her, and when Sonny or her had started in on her- he was extremely angry and downright protective and defensive of her. It made Sam sick to her stomach, and she tried not to show it to him. She promised that she would be his friend if that's what he needed...but she had hoped that wouldn't be all that he needed.

"Hey, I thought I might find you here." Sam turned from the fireplace at Jason's voice.

"Hey"

"I was hoping we could talk."

"Sure," she gestured for them to sit down "what about?"

Jason sat down and stared at her. She was beautiful with her dark hair and dark eyes, but he just couldn't find any feelings of love for her. Sure he cared about her, but he wasn't in love with her and he didn't know how to tell her without hurting her.

"Well for starters, I remember." He watched her carefully as she smiled.

"That's great Jason. I am really happy for you."

"Sam, I remember….everything."

Her face fell, she knew what he was talking about. The betrayals and secrets between them. What she had done to his kids, how they fell back in love, had Danny...all of it.

Jason could see the mask on her face fall and he waited to see what she had to say.

"Oh, okay." Well that certainly wasn't what he was expecting.

"Is that it, are you going to say anything else?"

"Like what Jason?"

"I don't know, how about apologizing for your mistakes, for berating Elizabeth. For keeping secrets from me too."

"Jason, that was a long time ago. We moved past it."

"I am not talking about the past Sam, I am talking about the present. Here and Now." Jason leaned back in his chair as he studied her.

"Well then what are you talking about?"

"Were you ever going to tell me about the reasons you and Elizabeth don't like each other? For example reasons she stated in the hospital?

Sam thought back on Elizabeth's tirade at the hospital and cringed. Yep. Elizabeth had told everyone what she had done to her and Jake and Cameron. From the faces that had turned to her in shock, that was a secret Elizabeth had been holding on too probably for this exact reason...to use it against her and to turn Jason against her. Sam had to hand it to Elizabeth, she really was one manipulative little bitch.

"Don't call her that!" Jason was angry.

Realizing that she had spoken her thoughts out loud, she knew it was pointless to hide her feelings right now.

"Jason, you can't see it but she is. She is using the past that we moved forward from to try and turn you against me. She is manipulating you and you are allowing it. When are you going to open your eyes?" Sam stood up and faced him.

"Sam, I would be careful if I were you. The old Jason may have allowed you to trash talk Elizabeth but I sure as hell won't." He was too calm as he spoke to her. Sam started clenching her fists, she just wanted to hit him so badly.

"No he didn't. You and him both still have your heads stuck up your ass when it comes to her. She is this damsel in distress that you have to protect and she gives you all the ammunition in the world to do so and you can't see that she is playing you. My God Jason, she lied to you for seven months about who you are? How can you sit there and defend her?"

"BECAUSE I LOVE HER." He roared. "Always have, probably always will."

Taken aback Sam just stared at him as he got up from the couch and started to pace. He didn't want to hurt Sam but he just couldn't stand her bashing Elizabeth. He thought that she was his friend and was willing to accept just friendship. Clearly that wasn't going to happen quite as easily as he thought.

"What did you just say?" Sam felt her heart break into a million pieces and she tried to catch her breath.

"I said that I love her Sam."

"Do I get an explanation?" She asked reminding them of the last time she had asked that question. Standing in that exact penthouse after she had just slept with Ric and him with Elizabeth. Sam expected the same answer.

"Sam, Elizabeth was right. We have nineteen years of history behind us. Yes, not all of it is good and not all of it was bad but I wouldn't change any of it." Jason turned to face her and tried not to let her tears affect him. "When I woke up a year ago with a new face and no memory, I connected with Elizabeth...almost immediately. We became friends and then we fell in love. She defended me. She trusted me..she chose me."

"Yeah and then she lied to you about your identity for seven months. She must not trust in your love for her if she could do that."

"After everything we have been through, I can't say that I don't understand it to some degree. Sam, I remember all the years Elizabeth and I had this dance. One of us opens up and the other one starts to pull away. The Jason you and her both remember is not one I am proud of. He loved her more than anything but was never willing to fight for her. Then when she became a mother, he didn't think he should fight for her, that would put her kids in danger,"

"Why are you talking about yourself in the third person?" You and him are the same person!"

"No Sam we aren't and that's what you need to understand. It's what I have been trying to get you to understand. The Jason Morgan you remember died that night on the pier. I am not the same man. I don't know if I even want to be the same man...the mob, the danger, the lies and secrets...I am not sure I want that same life back." He kept trying to get her to understand what he had been saying all along.

"But you want her back, after everything she has done to us and to Danny?" Sam screamed "You do remember that right? She lied about the DNA test that proved Danny was alive. Our son could have died. All she does is lie!"

"If I remember correctly there was a time, so did you. As for Danny, yes what she did was wrong, but Sam she was grieving Jake. She wasn't exactly in the right state of mind. She hated herself for that lie and she came clean and he forgave her. Danny is alive Sam. Nothing will ever change how happy I am that I have him. Nothing will change what she did but he did forgive her. Even after that he still loved her. Even after her lying for these past months, I still love her. I guess he and I aren't that different. Not when it comes to her." Jason finished as he stared at her.

Sam's tears were running down her face, as she stood there completely stunned and hurt by everything he had just said. She turned around to face the mantle where a picture of her Jason and Danny were smiling at the camera.

"Sam", he came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders, "this man in the picture….he loved you. Yes that is true and he was happy with you, but I am not him."

Sam shook her head and tried to talk but he interrupted her, "Sam look at the picture. Look at me, I know you see two different men." Sam looked at the picture and back at him, yes their faces were different but their hearts were the same. She had always known that.

"You need to let him go Sam. You need to say goodbye." Jason turned her to face him. "You are an amazing woman. You are strong and independent and beautiful and one day you will be happy again. Hell, you already were before this happened. Yes you and Patrick didn't work out but that doesn't mean there isn't someone out there for you. I'm sorry it's not me. I will always care about you but the love that we shared is gone. Maybe it's because the accident caused me to lose my memory and it altered the way I think and remember, but it's still gone. You will always be in my life because you are my son's mother and I hope one day we can be friends."

"Friends? Do you really think that is possible? That I can watch you move on with Elizabeth and be happy about that?" The idea was ludicrous.

Jason could see that she didn't even think it was possible but her knew her. There wasn't anything Sam could do if she set her mind to it. He had become her friend this past year and he had seen her determination and drive.

"I think you will once you let go of Jason Morgan. Your Jason. Your husband Sam" He held out the picture to her and she took it with her hands shaking.

"How can I do that?" She looked up at him through her tears. Her heart was breaking even as she knew this was coming.

"By remembering the past, by accepting the present and by looking forward to your own future." He wiped her tears gingerly with the pad of his thumb as he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead before he turned and walked away from her for the last time.

The door closed quietly and Sam stood there with the picture in her hands and tried to accept what he wanted. It wasn't going to be easy, but she had promised to be his friend. Letting him go wasn't what she wanted but if this is what he wanted, she would try to accept it. Maybe going away for a little while was a good idea. Taking Danny to see some of her old friends would probably help her while she got some emotional distance. Heading upstairs to pack a bag for her and her son, she left the picture frame turned over on the coffee table. Sam was a fighter, she could do this. She could move on. At least she hoped she could.

A/N: Not what you expected huh? LOL anyway, next few chapters are all about Liason so there is something to look forward too.