Chapter 21: Bonds to Be Repaired

After Jason's session, he didn't go immediately to Carly's to see Elizabeth and the boys. That was where he was originally headed before he made a split decision and turned up the driveway of the Quartermaine Mansion. He wasn't sure what he was doing there, all that he could think about was what happened in Griffin's office. He approached the mansion and was immediately struck with images of his past, coming back to the mansion after waking up from the coma, driving through the living room on a motorcycle, and sneaking into the back terrace to visit with Lila, just to name a few but Jason did something unusual this time, he knocked on the front door and waited.

"Jason, what are you doing here?" Monica Quartermaine asked when she opened the door.

"I wanted to see you; do you have time to talk?"

"Sure, let's go in the parlor."

Jason followed her into the big room and waited till she sat down.

"What's going on?" Monica asked concerned, Jason didn't visit her at the mansion unexpectedly.

"I have been seeing Dr. Monroe lately. He's helping me to work through some issues I have so that Elizabeth and I can repair our relationship." He would start there.

"Is that something you both want?" Monica wasn't going to touch upon Elizabeth's actions, she felt like the young woman who used to be her daughter's best friend had been judged enough- especially by her. Besides, if Jason wanted her opinion, he would ask.

"Yeah, but it has been slow going, she and I both have abandonment issues to deal with."

"From what if you don't mind me asking?" She wasn't going to push but she had a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that Jason wanted to talk about the past.

"Her family and mine."

"Oh you mean Sonny and Carly? Yeah, I could see that."

"No, not from them, from you and the rest of the Quartermaines!" Jason said a little harshly.

Monica swallowed hard.. She knew where this conversation was headed and having this conversation wasn't going to be easy. However, she knew Jason deserved to have it.

When she didn't say anything for a few seconds, Jason continued. "Why? Why wasn't I good enough for you guys?" Why did you treat me the way you did?"

"Oh Jason," Monica sighed… "I am so sorry. I wish I had better answers for you, but I don't have any answers to satisfy you."

"Just tell me the truth, please." He pleaded.

Monica looked out the window as she gathered her thoughts. Jason waited patiently, understanding what she was thinking.

"The truth….is that we were angry and too devastated to think straight. Your father and I just couldn't comprehend what had happened. How was it our beautiful boy didn't know who we were? We raised you….we had all these years' worth of memories and you didn't remember. That was so hard. We had become strangers to you but for us, when we looked at you, we still saw our little boy. It was just unimaginable….

"Ive tried to imagine what that must have felt now that I have Jake and Danny. I know that I didn't raise them and our relationships are complicated, but I've tried to see it from your point of view more than once lately." Jason conceded.

Monica just nodded, squeezing his hand, "But we were doctors too, instead of treating you like any other patient, we pushed you away because you had turned into someone we didn't recognize. Medically we understood what a severe brain injury can do, but…Jason…emotionally….in our hearts, we just couldn't accept it as your parents"

"If you all could have just accepted me, things could have been different. You were my parents but because I couldn't remember I wasn't your son. You treated me like an outcast. I know in some ways I was, but how do you think that made me feel? It was bad enough that I was angry all the time because of the brain injury, but how do you think I felt? I woke up in that hospital room with no memory and I tried to forge my own way, to figure out who I was. You…. You all tried to control me. Every one of you, except Lila and Emily." Jason's voice broke as he started thinking about the only two people who had ever accepted him or made him feel like he was worth something. "And when that didn't work- you just abandoned me."

"We didn't think of it that way back then, but yes I suppose we did, and Jason, I can't tell you how much I deeply regret our actions, and if….your father was still alive, he would say the same. All I can say is I'm so sorry. You were our son! We should have done right by you, and there is not a day that goes by, that I don't hate myself and long for the relationship we could have had. Monica said sorrowfully.

Jason stood up and walked to the window, overlooking the grounds of the mansion, and took a deep breath. Memories wafted over him and he tried to wave them away in his mind. He wasn't supposed to look back-he was supposed to stay in the present. You couldn't change the past, only what you chose to do about the future. He firmly believed that.

"Jason, what are you thinking?" Monica asked from her perch on the couch.

"I am thinking that I probably will never fully understand what you and Alan were thinking and going through…"

"And?"

Jason waited for a beat before talking. He had opened up to people more in the last few weeks than he could ever remember. It was taking an emotional toll on him.

"I don't know how to move past it. I thought I had, but then Griffin and I were talking, and it just came out…"

Monica hesitantly put her hand on his leg, "I think the first step was admitting it."

They both shared a slight chuckle at that.

"But I just….I think the future is worth saving. For us, for my kids. I want them to have a relationship with you, and I don't want them to ever feel like I did. He turned to face her.

Monica was hopeful for the first time this conversation began.

"Jason, I think you can move past this pain, I think you can do anything you set your mind to and you're right, the future is worth saving."

Jason stared at her with tears in his eyes. "You have that much faith in me?" He asked

Monica too was crying as she said, "I should have had it all along and I am so sorry I didn't."

They embraced each other, and both had tears falling down their faces. Pulling back, Jason asked, "How do we save the future?"

"By the rest of the family and I being there for you and supporting you no matter what. I realize we can't go back and change the past, but maybe we can make the future better one step at a time."

"I don't know how that would look, but I am willing to try."

Monica held out her hand and Jason shook her hand smiling slightly.

"Now" Monica wiped her face, "why don't you tell me about you and Elizabeth? I realize I haven't been very supportive of you two, and part of that is because I don't know your history."

Relieved at the turn of the conversation he smiled. Talking about how he and Elizabeth met and fell in love was his favorite topic these days and for the first time in a really long time, he felt like a certain weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

"It all started at Jake's…." He started sharing his and Elizabeth's story, weaving a tale so beautiful and heartbreaking that Monica had tears in her eyes again by the time he was done as she simply stared at him in awe.

Those two had a deep and rich connection and history, one that she was so blind too. She had spent so long being judgmental, realizing that her own actions had probably contributed to the couple's unhappiness. Well no more, Monica was resolved to be an avid supporter. Listening to their story gave her hope for the future and she couldn't wait to see what happens next for her son and Elizabeth and their family.