"Alew"
"Chapter Five: Christmas"
December rolled in with a nice light snowfall. Sirius took Harry outside so he could catch snowflakes on his tongue. As soon as Sirius demonstrated for him, Harry was hooked. His little tongue caught every single snowflake he could. A large grin spread across Harry's face as he constantly showed Sirius the melted snow in his mouth. Sirius tried to enjoy his time with Harry, he really did. But he found himself on edge and constantly looking for a potential threat. He wondered if he would ever feel at ease when he was out of the house with Harry
When Harry's nose grew red and snotty, Sirius insisted they go inside to warm up. Harry whined and complained, a tantrum bubbling on the surface that made Sirius instantly cave to five more minutes of play. Then another five minutes. And another five minutes. Sirius had to put his foot down because a Warming Charm could only go so far. He was forced to carry a crying Harry up to their flat on the third floor.
Marlene started decorating for Christmas the following weekend, blaring Christmas carols in the small flat. Harry bounded around the parlor with ornaments in his hands and tinsel in his hair. Archibald hissed at Harry when he tried to place some tinsel on his bushy gray tail. Marlene had to get down to his level and explain to him that the cat did not appreciate tinsel anywhere on him. When tears welled in Harry's eyes, Sirius scooped him up in his arms and started to sing along to "God Rest Ye, Merry Hippogriffs," causing Harry to burst out into a fit of giggles and forgetting all about tinseling the cat. He carried Harry over to the tree and asked him to place some ornaments higher up. The kid obliged, accepting ornament after ornament from Marlene as Sirius helped him.
The following week, Harry stopped crying when Marlene left for work. She gave him a kiss goodbye every morning and he bolted towards the door for a hug when she came back home every evening. Sirius and Harry spent their days drinking carrot tea, taking short walks along the shoreline, and attempting to learn to cook because even Sirius grew tired of his ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch. It was about the only thing he trusted himself to make for Harry.
On the first day of his cooking journey, Sirius tried something too ambitious. The chicken tasted like rubber and the potatoes were hard as a rock. Sirius pitched it before suggesting they go out to lunch to a local restaurant. They walked into town, Sirius carrying Harry the entire time as Harry excitedly pointed out various Christmas decorations on the shop fronts. Sirius kept glancing around at their surroundings, hoping that their location was still a well-kept secret. Asking for a booth in the back, Sirius picked a seat where he could see most of the restaurant. Harry played with the mini-Christmas tree on the table with odd little food ornaments on it.
"See-See!" Harry exclaimed as he pointed out a little tart ornament.
"You're not having treacle tart for lunch, kid," Sirius explained.
Harry's little brows furrowed on his face.
Sirius folded his hands on the table and leaned forward. "Do you want fish and chips? Maybe we'll get a tart for dinner tonight if you eat your food, all right?"
Harry picked up a coloring pencil, his eyes glancing up around to watch the people around them. "Yeah," he said in a small squeaky voice as he turned his attention to his menu and moved his wrist in a big circle to color the various fruit on the page.
When the waitress approached their table, Harry scooted across the bench to the wall to curl up into a ball. Sirius smiled tightly up at the waitress as he ordered their drinks and food. It wasn't until she left that Harry relaxed a bit, though he stayed close to the wall. His fingers reached out to touch the tart ornament on the tree.
"Harry," Sirius said in a gentle voice, his eyes soaking in Harry's anxious face. "You are safe, okay? As long as I'm here, nothing is going to happen to you. Nobody is going to hurt you."
Harry's big green eyes darted around the room. Sirius reached out a hand to rest on top of Harry's. The kid jumped at the contact but instantly relaxed once he realized it was just Sirius.
"Harry, would you like to come sit with me?" Sirius asked. "Would that make you feel better?"
Without hesitation, Harry started to climb on top of the table. Sirius grabbed him under the armpits and hauled him over to his seat. The kid sat snuggled up to Sirius' side. Sucking in a breath, Sirius pulled the kid's menu over towards them and picked up a coloring pencil.
"Color with me?" Sirius asked.
Harry sat up a little straighter, coloring pencil in hand, and joined Sirius in coloring. Sirius lazily filled in the open space between Harry's scribbles. When they received their food, Sirius took his time cutting up Harry's fish into small bite-sized pieces while the kid munched on his chips. While he still glanced suspiciously around as he ate, he seemed to slowly be getting used to other people. He wasn't hanging on Sirius while trembling and crying anymore. Sirius could only assume it was thanks to him taking Harry outside more and more, exposing him to more people and new places.
Over the next couple of weeks, Harry slowly became the kid that Sirius remembered. Loud and rambunctious, laughing and smiling more when they were in the comfort of their flat. He clung to Sirius most days. If he wasn't barking at him to turn into Padfoot, then he was demanding hugs and cuddles. When they played, Harry required Sirius' full attention. Harry stuck close to him anytime Sirius tried to go anywhere, babbling while Sirius attempted to use the loo in private or prancing around his legs in the kitchen while he made a cup of coffee. Sirius would be lying if he said he wasn't a tad bit exhausted at the end of each day, but he welcomed it knowing that Harry was becoming his old self again.
Sirius wished he could say that was the case for their nighttime routine, but the kid still suffered from nightly nightmares where he'd wake up screaming for his mum and dad. Until the night he didn't. It was a week before Christmas when Harry woke up screaming for Sirius instead of his parents. His groggy mind hadn't even registered the switch at first until Harry was sobbing in his arms, saying See-See over and over and over again.
The next night, after putting Harry to bed, Sirius sat on the floor in the parlor helping Marlene wrap presents. More like he handed her the ribbon and helped hold the paper down while she applied the temporary sticking charm.
"What do you think it means?" Sirius asked, holding the spool of ribbon while Marlene wrapped it out one of Harry's many gifts. "Do you think he doesn't remember James and Lily anymore?"
Marlene sliced the ribbon her a slash of her wand. "He saw a redheaded woman in a magazine I was looking at today and said mama," she explained, carefully lining up the edges of the ribbon to ensure it was even. "I think every night for the past month and a half he has had a nightmare and you are the one who goes to him. Not James. Not Lily. Not me. Just you. You have always gladly gotten up to grab him. Of course, he's going to start calling for you. You're the one who comforts him nightly. Not to mention, you're with him all day as well. I've seen him around you. It's like he's your shadow and has even started mimicking you."
Sirius turned the ribbon over in his hands. "I don't want to replace James," he admitted, his eyes carefully watching Marlene's face.
Marlene stopped wrapping the gift and looked up at Sirius. "Love, I know you don't want to replace James. I don't want to replace Lily either. Except, we are," she emphasized, her eyebrows tugging down. "But that's not a bad thing, Sirius," she added in a rush when Sirius opened his mouth to protest. "This is what James and Lily asked of us. They asked us to be his parents if they couldn't. They asked us to love him like he was our own. They died when he was so, so little. I know you're struggling with the fact that Harry will only know us as his parents, but I told you before… I won't feel guilty for loving my godson. You shouldn't either. You need to stop dwelling on it."
Sirius' heart ached in his chest. "I know. I know. I just… sometimes I think I'm enjoying this too much. I love the fact that Harry lives with us. I love spending every single day with him, even when he doesn't leave my side for a bloody minute. Then, then, I remember James and Lily and I feel like a right fucking berk for selfishly loving that Harry is with us."
Marlene searched his face. "Oh, Sirius, love, you can't think of it that way. I know it makes you anxious, but Harry starting to call for us over his parents is a good thing. It means he's adjusting to his new life and he's trusting us to take care of him like he trusted them to."
That didn't make Sirius feel any better. His role in Harry's life had quickly changed from godfather to father. Sirius loved every single minute of it. He had never loved anyone as much as he loved Harry. Not Marlene. Not James. Not Lily. Not Fleamont or Euphemia. Harry by his side allowed him to breathe, to forget about the grief that clung to his skin. He gave Sirius something to focus on. Thinking of Harry made the rare occasions he was alone with his thoughts more bearable. Harry made losing James and Lily manageable because there was no opportunity to dwell over the dead when a small child demanded his attention at all hours of the day. While Sirius wasn't sure devoting every single second of his life to his godson was entirely healthy, Sirius couldn't deny that he felt happier when he was busy taking care of Harry.
When Christmas Eve rolled around, Sirius and Marlene planned to go over to the Tonks' for dinner. Ted asked Dumbledore to help place wards around their house that were strong enough so Harry could visit. Sirius contacted Hestia Jones to discretely hook up the Margate flat's Floo to the Tonks' Exeter home for easy travel.
"We could have driven if you would just go shopping with me," Sirius argued as he changed Harry's nappy on the floor in the parlor.
Marlene rolled her eyes as she stood next to the fireplace holding two tarts in her hands and a nappy bag slung over her shoulder. "Exeter is on the other side of the country," she argued. "Do you even know how long it would have taken to drive there?"
Sirius helped Harry up off the floor before pulling up his trousers and tucking in his shirt. "Well, for long drives, I would enchant the car to fly like my motorbike."
"That's illegal, Sirius!" Marlene protested. "Just like your motorbike is bloody illegal. You're not a teenager anymore. Can we, oh, I don't know, not break the law?"
Sirius tried to resist sighing, but he couldn't help it. She acted as though he wouldn't take all the necessary precautions not to be caught. All he needed was a very good invisibility charm and they were in the clear. He had, after all, never been caught on his motorbike. He had flown it a lot in the past couple of years.
"You sound like Andy," Sirius argued as he hauled Harry into his arms, settling the toddler on his hip.
"Well, she is a highly intelligent woman," Marlene replied with a smirk. "You should listen to her more."
Sirius rolled his eyes in a slow and dramatic fashion. "Sometimes I wish you two didn't get on as well as you do because she's decided she's my mother, sister, and cousin all rolled into one. I feel like you two gang up on me."
Marlene balanced one of the tarts on her arm, squishing it between her chest and the other tart, so she could ready the fireplace. "Don't act like you don't love every single second of it. While you'll never admit it out loud, you know you secretly love that Andy has taken on all those roles for you."
It was true. He'd never admit it out loud because it sounded so incredibly soppy, but he had been so grateful to have Andromeda in his life when he was a small child and now as an adult. It angered him that he missed out on her being a constant presence in his life during his turbulent teenage years. They were forced to write letters in secret and meet infrequently for lunch during Hogsmeade weekends. She always sent him a birthday gift every year and made sure his Christmas gift arrived in January when he was back at school. While Sirius had been a preoccupied little berk, Andromeda always made sure they didn't drift apart. It would have been so easy to do, especially when his home life had crumbled beyond repair and he had tried desperately to put the scattered pieces of his life back together afterward.
"She is the only good Black," Sirius insisted in a thick voice, hiking Harry up in his arms. "I appreciate everything she's done for me. Walburga was never very motherly. She wasn't the kind of mother who gave you kisses or hugs or praise. There were just expectations and her shaming you if you didn't hit every single step perfectly. Andromeda's six years older than me. She acted more like my mother than my own mother did. She was the one to wipe away my tears and kiss my scraped knees. I ran to her for the affection I craved from my parents but never received. It was like she had just taken me under her wing and she's never let go. All these years later, and she's never once let go."
"Sirius, love, that's called family," Marlene whispered with a soft smile. "That's what family does. They never give up on you. They never let you go. They protect you and love you and are there for you."
Sirius' chest constricted as he nodded. Family. He had always considered the Potters to be the closest thing he'd ever get to a family. But Andromeda had always been there. Uncle Alphard had shielded him as much as he could. They were family as well. Andromeda was the only person who could sympathize with Sirius' childhood since their two families had constantly been together. Andromeda had been by Grimmauld Place at least two or three times every single week until she went off to Hogwarts. Sirius remembered crying for hours into his pillow and sitting by a window waiting all day for an owl from her when he was only five years old.
Sirius cleared his throat. "You ready to go?"
Marlene nodded. "Yeah, let's go spend Christmas Eve with our family."
Our family. Marlene always made a point to call it their family and not his and never hers. It was just a small thing, but it made a big difference to Sirius.
When they arrived at the Tonks', Harry whimpered from the travel. Sirius licked his thumb and wiped a bit of soot off the kid's cheek before he sat him down on his feet. Andromeda and Ted greeted them with hugs and kisses on their cheeks. Sirius could feel Harry clinging to his trousers, his little body pressed tightly against his leg. He reached down a hand to place on top of Harry's head as he greeted Andromeda with an awkward one-armed hug.
"HARRY!" Dora shouted, rounding into the parlor and tripping over her own two feet yet somehow managing not to faceplant. "Harry, you're here! Happy Christmas Eve!" she exclaimed as dropped to her knees in front of him. "What do you hope Father Christmas is bringing you?"
Harry buried his face into the fabric of Sirius' trouser. Crouching down, Sirius pried Harry off him and wrapped an arm around the kid's shoulders.
"I'm hoping for an Aston Martin," Sirius said with a smile, his grin widening when he heard Marlene sigh heavily next to him. "What do you think, Dora? Could you see me in a little convertible, cruising around? I told Marlene she could pick the color, so we know it'll be blue."
"What about the motorbike?" Dora asked with a crestfallen face. "You said you'd teach me to ride it one day."
"Sirius, no," Andromeda huffed. "You don't need to teach her anything about that death trap."
Sirius glanced up at Ted. "Come on, Teddy, help me out."
Ted chuckled, his hands shoving into his trouser pockets. "Well, I'd feel safer on Sirius' motorbike than I would on a broom. Imagine something going wrong and you fall to your death!"
Andromeda sighed. "Help me in the kitchen, Marlene? I'll take one of the tarts."
Sirius rubbed Harry's back, turning his attention to his overly shy godson. "What would you like for Christmas, Harry?"
Harry shrugged.
"You like the Magpies, don't you, Harry?" Ted asked, crouching down next to Sirius. "I always liked the Falcons personally."
Sirius tried not to show any reaction on his face. The Falcons had always been Regulus' favorite team.
"Do you want to play a game, Harry?" Dora asked. "We have Exploding Snap," she added, holding out her hand for Harry.
Harry tilted his chin up so he could look at Sirius. "See-See," he whined.
Sirius pushed the kid's hair back off his forehead, the lightning bolt scar glaring up at him. His hand continued to card through his hair before he brought it down to rest along the side of Harry's neck.
"I'll be right here, okay?" Sirius insisted. "If you need me, just call for me and I'll be there in a second."
Anxiety swam in Harry's bright green eyes. Sirius shot him a smile showing all of his teeth as his thumb brushed along Harry's jawline.
"You are safe, Harry," Sirius insisted in a low voice.
Tears brimmed in the kid's eyes as he babbled up at him.
Sirius' brow furrowed at the string of syllables, trying to decipher Harry's toddler-talk. "What was that?"
But the same string of syllables escaped his lips in barely above a whisper. Sirius hadn't the foggiest idea what the kid was trying to tell him. So, he did the only thing he could think of.
"Do you want me to come play too?" Sirius asked.
Harry nodded his head eagerly. Yeah, that was a lucky guess. Sirius settled on the floor by the coffee table while Ted joined Marlene and Andromeda in the kitchen. Harry joined him, sitting as close to Sirius as humanly possible. Dora grabbed the Exploding Snape cards and started to pass them out.
"Is this the kiddie version?" Sirius asked as he noted the more cartoonish drawings on the cards.
Dora shot him a look. "Does it look like I have a wand?"
Sirius shot her a look. "Don't be a little shit, Dora."
Dora's lips quirked as she finished passing out the cards, laying a single one in the middle upside down. Sirius organized his hand. Harry babbled next to him. Glancing down, Sirius noticed Harry held two cards facing each other. He jabbered as he bounced the cards, causing the bowtruckle to talk to the giant squid.
Sirius leaned down. "You have to organize them like this," he explained showing Harry his hand.
Harry looked briefly at Sirius' hand before he turned back to his own little game. His face leaned in close to his cards, his ear resting on his elbow that was propped up on the coffee table and he continued to babble.
"All right, well, at least I know I won't get last place," Sirius announced as he moved around a couple more cards.
Dora laughed as she too moved her cards around in her hand. "Did you play this a lot when you were younger?"
Sirius noticed he had a cyclops in with his manticores and switched it. "Uh… well, I never played at my house. We would have been in trouble for getting soot on the floor."
Dora wrinkled her nose. "Really?"
"I wish I was joking with you, Dora," Sirius replied, glancing up at her over his hand of cards. "I played some at my Uncle Alphard's, so I knew the basics. Once I got to Hogwarts, my friend Pe–" he cut himself off, his chest twisting. "My one friend really liked it so we played a lot."
"Why'd you do that?" Dora asked.
Sirius thumbed the cards in his hands. Harry leaned over and shoved one of his niffler cards into his hand. Sirius only moved it to sit with the rest of his nifflers.
"Do what?" Sirius asked.
"Stop yourself from saying your friend's name," Dora explained as she shifted to sit on her knees.
Sirius swallowed. "Because he's not my friend anymore."
"Why?" Dora insisted, her brows pinching together.
Sirius' jaw ticked. "Hasn't your mother ever taught you that asking why is impolite?"
Dora shook her head. "No? Why is asking why impolite?"
Sirius sucked in a breath. "Because that's what your mum and I were taught growing up. It was rude to ask why. You should accept an answer at face value."
Dora snorted. "That's stupid."
Sirius let out a soft chuckle. "Yeah, it probably is. But sometimes people don't want to answer the why and sometimes you just have to accept that."
Dora looked thoughtful for a few moments. "Mum always says that family should be honest with one another. Secrets and lies tear a family apart."
Sirius held his breath for a few moments, his eyebrows raising up to his hairline. "All right, how about this? In ten years, you can ask me that question and I will answer it for you."
Dora let out a long-suffering sigh as she collapsed against the table. "Uncle Sirius, I hate that," she whined. "I'm eight. I'm practically a teenager."
Sirius chuckled, allowing Harry to steal one of his bowtruckle cards. "Do you want to play or not? Harry is exchanging all of my cards. I'm going to forget what I actually have."
Dora reached out to touch the card in the middle, yet she didn't flip it over. "Can I ask you one more question?"
"You just did," Sirius replied, smirking when she rolled her eyes at him.
"Was it something bad?" Dora whispered. "I've heard stuff on the wireless before Mum and Dad shut it off. They were talking about Death Eaters once. I dunno why anyone would want to eat the dead, but it didn't seem very nice."
Sirius sat his cards face down onto the table. He clasped his hands together tightly.
"Look, Dora, not everyone is good," Sirius started. "There are some very bad people who do very bad things. Sometimes… sometimes you think a person is good but they're not. You don't know that until it's too late."
Harry leaned into Sirius' side, offering him a card. "See-See."
Sirius accepted the card, flipping it in his hand to see it was a sprite. Licking his bottom lip, he picked up his hand and added the card to the back of his pile.
"Ready to lose?" Sirius asked, trying to lighten the mood.
Dora laughed. "You wish," she retorted, flipping the card in the center of the table.
Sirius and Dora slapped cards down at a fast pace and they exploded at random. Soon, Harry joined in even though he wasn't placing the correct card, causing the deck to spit it back at him. It only made the game more chaotic. By the end of the game, Harry started bouncing on his knees next to Sirius as he leaned over the table. He babbled excitedly in Dora's direction and she matched his enthusiasm. By the third game, Harry had teamed up with Dora in a mad attempt to finally beat Sirius. He couldn't help but smile as Harry's walls started to crumble, so he let the kids beat him for once. A bark-like laugh escaped his lips when Dora had encouraged Harry to do a little victory dance together. Harry's eyes sparkled as he looked up at Dora, completely at ease.
Christmas morning came with more presents under the tree than were necessary for a nearly sixteen-month-old. Harry tore the paper off of the presents, his little face breaking into a wide grin and never leaving the entire morning around the tree. It was easy to tell which gifts were Harry's favorite. Once he was done unwrapping everything, he sat on Sirius' lap and handed him the things he wanted opened first.
Sirius gestured his chin towards a poorly wrapped gift in the back. "That's yours," he said to Marlene, not looking up as he wrestled the toy Snitch out of its packaging.
Marlene reached out for the small square box. She unwrapped it carefully to reveal a black velvet box. Opening it, Marlene gasped at the necklace inside. It was a pear-shaped blue diamond pendant necklace with two rows of small diamonds surrounding it. Marlene picked the necklace up with her fingers, letting it dangle. She glanced over at Sirius to see the Snitch fly around his and Harry's head.
"Sirius, this is gorgeous," Marlene said.
Sirius glanced over at her. "You like it then? I know you like blue. I thought the blue diamond was kind of unique."
Marlene let out a small laugh. "Of course, I bloody well like it. I'm not sure where I'll wear it, because it's almost too pretty to wear."
Harry jumped off Sirius' lap to chase after the Snitch. Sirius leaned over towards Marlene and held his hand out for the necklace before he gestured for her to turn around. She did, lifting her hair up in the process. Sirius fastened the necklace around her neck. When she turned around to look at him, Sirius hummed.
"I'd say it's the opposite. I think you're too pretty for the necklace," Sirius argued with a shit-eating grin.
Marlene laughed, pushing Sirius gently. "Merlin, that was bad."
"I'm fairly certain I heard Fleamont say that exact line to Euphemia once," Sirius admitted.
Marlene rolled her eyes as she reached under the tree for a flat rectangular box. She handed it to Sirius and wished him a happy Christmas. Sirius opened the present to find a catalog with an Aston Martin on the cover. It was all about the different models, features, and the like. Sirius flipped through it with interest.
"The day after Boxing Day, we can go get your car," Marlene said. "Whatever you want."
Sirius' face split out into a grin. "You'll ride in it with me?"
"Yes, I will ride in the car with you," Marlene agreed. "I rode on your motorbike with you before, haven't I?"
Sirius chuckled. "Yeah, but you oddly think the bike is safer than a car for some mad reason."
Marlene shrugged, her gaze catching Harry practically galloping around the room. "The bike feels more like a broom. We could have played motorbike Quidditch if we had enough players and bikes."
Sirius shook his head. "I swear, you can make a form of Quidditch out of anything," he said lazily as he looked down to flip through the catalog and stopped on a picture of a convertible. "This is what we should get," he said as he pointed at the vehicle. "It'll mimic a broom for you. Wind in your hair and all that."
Marlene pressed her temple against Sirius' shoulder. "Sure, whatever you want, love."
"We are going to be going on some long road trips," Sirius prepared her.
Marlene only laughed as she watched Harry attempt to pull his new Magpies jersey over his head. An odd screech akin to one of his dragon noises escaped his lips when tried to fit his head through the armhole. Sirius chuckled, pressing a kiss on top of Marlene's head before he moved to help Harry with his jersey.
"See-See!" Harry cried. "Bwoke!"
"It is not broken," Sirius assured him as he flipped the jersey in his hands. "Stay still, kid. You can't wiggle so much."
"Bwoke! Bwoke! Bwo– ahh!" Harry shouted as Sirius wrestled his head through the proper hole.
"There, you can see now, calm down!" Sirius exclaimed, helping Harry maneuver his arms into the appropriate holes. "You always do that. It's only dark for a few seconds as you get the shirt on."
Harry only grinned up at Sirius. "'Pies!" he exclaimed before he scampered off to grab his new Snitch. "'Pies! 'Pies! 'Pies!"
Sirius sat back on his heels, his gaze never leaving Harry. Marlene tore her gaze away from Sirius to see Harry had retrieved his broomstick from the cupboard and was mounting it before either one of them could say anything.
"I need to clean this place up before we need to leave," Sirius sighed as he stood up, pulling a rubbish bag out of his back pajama pocket.
Marlene let out an incredulous laugh. "You have a rubbish bag in your back pocket?"
Sirius started snagging the discarded pieces of wrapping paper off the floor. "I grabbed one when I got my coffee this morning," he explained. "I saw the number of gifts you bought. I knew it would be needed."
Archibald slinked around Sirius' feet, darting under the tree. He laid on his side, his gray paw batting a piece of crumpled up wrapping paper.
"It was our first Christmas together," Marlene whispered, her chin tilting back so she could look at Sirius. "I wanted it to be magical for him."'
"I'm not sure buying out an entire toy shop was the right move," Sirius joked with a grin. "But whatever makes you happy."
Marlene huffed, grabbing a ball of wrapping paper and pitching it at Sirius. It hit him in the gut.
"Oh, come off it," Marlene said, leaning back and pressing her palms into the floor. "Like you weren't spoiled on Christmas when you were this little."
Sirius shook his head as he continued to clean up. "Actually, the Blacks were a one gift sort of family. Regulus and I each received one big gift from our parents, one from Uncle Alphard, one from Aunt Druella and Uncle Cygnus, and one from each set of grandparents. Then, once my cousins were old enough, they'd buy gifts for everyone too."
"That sounds like a very boring Christmas," Marlene argued as she gestured to the mess on the floor "This was my Christmas. Mum always overbought. Matthew and I would tear into the gifts and there was paper everywhere. I mean, my mum would wrap bloody socks and other small things just so there were a lot of things to unwrap. It was magical."
"You know, people call me spoiled," Sirius said with a grin.
Marlene shook her head. "Shut it, Sirius."
Sirius raised his eyebrows at her. "One year, I was really lucky and Kreacher gifted me a box of maggots," he explained, pressing a hand to his heart. "That decrepit little wanker thought of me."
Sirius stepped too close to the tree for Archibald's liking. He swiped a paw out, clawing at the side of Sirius' foot. He yelped and jumped away from the tree, shooting the cat a nasty glare.
"Do you think Harry would notice if we threw that menace out?" Sirius hissed as he sat down on the floor to assess the damage. "He fucking drew blood!"
"Aww, you poor thing," Marlene cooed as she crawled towards him and peered over him to get a good look at the scratch that ran form his heel to his little toe. "Merlin, he did get you good. That's what you get for sitting on him that one time."
Sirius shot her a glare. "I didn't see him! Padfoot is massive! Sometimes I don't notice things when I'm him because everything is all oddly colored. He blended into the ruddy floor! Besides, the damn cat shouldn't hold a grudge. He liked me before then."
Marlene plucked her wand from of her dressing gown so she could seal his skin back together. Nothing was left except for a faint pink line and the blood. Marlene cupped his cheek, her thumb brushing against his jawline.
"You need to get back into his good graces because he's your cat now," Marlene reasoned.
Harry rushed past them towards Archibald. The kid picked the cat up, his arms wrapped around the cat's middle and forcing his paws to stick straight up in the air. His back paws dangled down. It looked terribly uncomfortable for old Archie. Archibald meowed yet he didn't even struggle in Harry's arms. Harry rubbed his cheek against Archibald's. Harry had started to grow closer to the cat in the past month. Marlene wondered if he considered Archibald to be a little piece of Lily.
"Go pet him while he's stuck and docile," Marlene urged. "Have him like you again."
Sirius scoffed. "You want me to put my godson's life in peril? His claws are sharp!"
Marlene laughed as she made her way over to Harry. "Come on, love, you can't hold Archie like that. Let me help you."
Marlene adjusted Archibald in Harry's arms in a more comfortable position. Archibald purred, his nose hitting the bottom of Harry's chin. Harry giggled. Marlene scratched the cat under his chin.
A pecking sounded at the window. Marlene twisted to see an owl waiting impatiently outside. There was a large brown parcel tied to his leg. Sirius crossed the room, his shoulders tense. He opened the window and hastily untied the parcel before slamming the window in the owl's face.
"Sirius?" Marlene questioned.
Sirius dropped the parcel onto the coffee table and then carded a hand through his hair. Harry dropped Archibald on the floor and rushed over to Sirius. His eager little eyes looked up at Sirius as he silently asked for permission to open the package.
"It's from Walburga," Sirius said in an odd tone.
Marlene blinked. "Are you going to open it?"
"To be completely honest, I thought about just tossing it into the fire to get rid of it," Sirius argued, his arms crossing over his chest.
Harry reached out a hand and his fingers brushed against the parcel.
"Harry, don't touch that!" Sirius snapped.
The kid jumped back as though he were burned, his wide green eyes staring up at Sirius. Not once had Sirius ever snapped at Harry before. Sirius must have realized his mistake because he crouched down to Harry's level and wrapped his fingers around Harry's arm.
"I'm sorry," Sirius said in a sincere tone. "I shouldn't have shouted at you. Come here," he urged, tugging Harry close to his chest.
Marlene made her way over to the coffee table and undid the string around the package. Pulling the paper back, Marlene noticed three perfectly wrapped gifts in silver and green wrapping paper. There was also a card on top. Marlene picked the card up and opened it.
"Dear Sirius," Marlene read the elegant handwriting. "It has come to my attention that perhaps I was too brash with you in my last letter, making too many demands when our relationship has been strained in recent years. I was hasty to jump to conclusions about the Potter boy fitting into the family. After seeing you with him during the custody hearing, it was clear that you consider him your own. I will try to see past his blood and accept him as wholeheartedly as you have. I hope you will accept these holiday gifts for you and your family as a sign of good intentions. Sincerely, Walburga Black."
Sirius scoffed.
"It gets me every time that she can't sign the letter Mum," Marlene commented as she sat the letter down. "Who signs a letter that formal to their kid?"
Sirius didn't say anything. Harry rounded the table to stand next to Marlene. She brushed his hair back off his forehead before she found the present on top that was addressed to Harry. Marlene handed it to him.
"You're giving him that?" Sirius asked in a gruff tone.
"She's making a good faith effort," Marlene said with a shrug.
Sirius sneered. "Walburga Black doesn't make good faith efforts, Marlene. She's up to something. She wants something."
Harry opened the gift to reveal a box with a map of the constellations on it. Taking off the lid, Marlene peered into the box to see a framed picture of a bright star close to Canis Major that was labeled Harry. Marlene picked up a piece of parchment that claimed that a star named Harry was officially registered. There was a star certificate as well as a star atlas. There was even a framed picture of the Leo constellation with Harry's name and birthdate written beneath it.
"She bought him a star," Marlene whispered as she picked up the framed star picture and flipped it to show Sirius. "She even picked one close to your star."
No emotion showed on Sirius' stoic face.
"She knew Harry's birthdate, because there's a picture of the Leo constellation as well," Marlene pointed out.
Harry seemed disinterested in the gift and went to grab a set of wooden dragon puzzles. He dumped one onto the floor and attempted to put it back together. Marlene placed Harry's gift back in the box. She turned to the gift with her name on it. It looked identical to Sirius' gift and she had a suspicion that they were the same thing. Opening the gift, all she saw was a plush emerald green. She picked it up and it was weighted. Standing up, the fabric unfolded to reveal a dressing gown with the Black family crest on it.
Sirius' face pulled. "Fucking burn it."
"It's actually a very nice material," Marlene pointed out. "Maybe we can vanish the crest or something."
"I don't want to keep anything that Walburga gives me," Sirius argued. "Neither should you."
Marlene folded the dressing gown and placed it back into the box. "What you want to do with all three of these gifts is your call, Sirius."
"I don't want them in our home, Marly," Sirius replied in a dull tone. "This wasn't a nice gesture. This wasn't extending some sort of olive branch. This was a calculated move. The star for Harry? Yeah, she was hoping that would tug at my heartstrings because it was something I shared with my Uncle Alphard. She knows how much I loved my Uncle Alphard."
Marlene nodded. "Okay."
"Okay? What is that supposed to mean?" Sirius snapped.
Marlene crossed her arms over her chest. "It means that I'm not going to argue with you about this nor invalidate your feelings. I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to, especially given the people involved and the way they treated you growing up," she explained, her eyebrows tugging down. "I just want to have a nice Christmas with you and Harry. Nothing else matters."
Sirius' face softened, his shoulders dropping. "I'm sorry," he said in a thick voice. "They just make me so angry."
Marlene searched Sirius' tense face. "Let's get ready for Andy and Ted's. I'm sure Harry will have fun giving them their gifts."
Sirius rounded the coffee table to stand in front of her. His fingers wrapped around her biceps as he held her steady. A low sigh escaped his lips.
"Listen to me, Marly, I do not want you to drop your guard around them, all right?" Sirius insisted, his eyes pleading. "Don't let Arcturus or anyone else fool you. There are so many things you don't know about them."
"Sirius…" Marlene trailed off, her head cocking to the side. "Why don't you tell me."
Sirius' hands ran up her arms until they came to cup her face. "They are blood supremacist Death Eaters, Marlene. That's all you need to know."
"I don't care about that," Marlene reasoned with a huff. "I care about you."
Sirius swallowed visibly. "I'm going to shower before we head out. Can you get Harry ready?"
Bending down, Sirius pressed a kiss onto her cheek before he left the room. Marlene wrapped her arms around herself, turning to see Harry still working on his dragon puzzle. He kept turning the pieces, only successfully placing the head piece in the correct spot. Kneeling down next to her godson, she helped him finish his puzzle before she took him to his room to get him ready for the day in a jumper and some trousers. She wrestled a comb through his hair, her mind wandering back to Sirius' reaction to the gifts.
She couldn't understand or comprehend any of the Black family dynamics. What she knew wasn't much. Sirius hated his family, ran away at sixteen, and never contacted any of them again (save for Andromeda and Alphard until he died). She didn't know what had spurred Sirius running away. Sirius had been tight-lipped about it, but she knew James had known. But Marlene had never pushed him to tell her. She never even pushed him to talk about anything dealing with his family. She couldn't deny the clawing curiosity to understand just how bad the abuse had been.
Sirius sat on the swing on the back patio with Harry slumped against his chest sleeping. His chin titled back so he could see the stars in the night sky. He couldn't help but pick out the Black family names he saw: Andromeda, Cygnus, Cassiopeia. He lazily named the stars in his head, his mind wandering to all the nights he spent in the back garden at his Uncle Alphard's cottage. He really wished Hydra was visible in the sky. Seeing the star his uncle was named after always seemed to help him clear his head.
His gaze lingered on Taurus before they landed on the Pleiades star cluster, which had been some of his uncle's favorite stars. The brightest stars in the cluster were named after the Seven Sisters in Greek mythology. Sirius sucked his bottom lip between his teeth as he noted all of the stars: Sterope, Merope, Electra, Maia, Taygeta, Celaeno, and Alcyone. His uncle had known all the myths and silly little facts about all the stars. It was all useless knowledge that Sirius thought about whenever he stared up into the night sky.
The back door opened and Andromeda stepped out with an oversized blanket in her arms. While Sirius had wrapped Harry up in his leather jacket and placed a Warming Charm on it, he wasn't going to say no to a blanket as he could feel the goosebumps marring his own arms. Andromeda took a seat next to him, flourishing the toasty blanket until the three of them were under it. Andromeda leaned in close to him, her temple resting against his shoulder.
"Where are the others?" Sirius asked, his gaze returning to the Seven Sisters.
"Playing Gobstones," Andromeda replied. "What are you doing out here? I thought you were getting Harry something to drink."
Sirius dropped his head down, his cheek resting against the top of Andromeda's head. "He fell asleep in my arms when I was making his hot chocolate. I don't know. I thought it'd be quieter out here for him."
Andromeda hummed. "I thought it was something else. You've been quiet tonight."
Sirius' eyes slid closed, a long breath escaping his lips. "Walburga sent Christmas presents."
Andromeda sat up, her body turning so she could give Sirius her full attention. Unlike Marlene, Andromeda understood there was a sinister undertone to the gesture. He had wrecked his brain all day and all night what that could be. The only thing he could think of was that she was trying to sink her teeth into Harry and the baby, both for entirely different reasons.
"Well, she must not know the baby is a girl," Andromeda said in a tight tone. "I'm not sure she'd waste her time trying if she knew."
Sirius rolled his head up to look back at the stars. "Marlene thinks I'm mental. She doesn't get it."
"What have you told her?" Andromeda pressed, her hand reaching out to tuck the blanket securely underneath Harry's chin.
"What is there to tell her?" Sirius asked. "That my parents didn't want children, they wanted heirs? Or maybe I should tell her I can't recall a time either of my parents told me they loved me. That's a real fun thing to tell someone. Oh, maybe I should tell her how just because I was sorted into a house other than Slytherin, the snide comments slowly morphed into demeaning tirades about how abhorrent of a son I am. Maybe I should tell her my mother's little pet name for me was bête noire. That's not at all embarrassing."
Sirius screwed his eyes shut, willing the tightness in his chest to go away. He hated thinking about them. Hated talking about them. All he wanted to do was forget that any of them ever existed.
"You shouldn't be embarrassed," Andromeda reasoned in a soft tone, her fingers wrapping around his arm.
Sirius opened his eyes, his head rolling to look at his cousin. "It is embarrassing," he whispered, his throat tightening. "It's embarrassing to know that I wasn't good enough for my own mother to love me."
Andromeda shook her head, her grip tightening on his arm. "It's not about you not being good enough, Sirius. You are good enough. It's about Walburga and her inability to show love and affection. It has nothing to do with you."
Sirius cleared his throat and looked back up at the sky. "Her love was conditional. I remember trying so hard when I was little just to get a small bit of praise. I thought one day I would be really good and maybe she'd tuck me into bed or, or read me a story. Something. But it never happened. The older I got, the less attention I received. I wasn't the cute little kid anymore but a frustrating eyesore that stood out like a sore thumb in the family. It was like I became the crux of all the family's problems while they ignored what the real problem was."
"Well, I love you," Andromeda assured him passionately. "I remember always tucking you in and reading you a story when we were on holiday in France. I loved you as a small adorable child and I love you as the kind man you have become. You were never a disappointment to me or the crux of any problem to me. I can guarantee you, my love for you is unconditional. There is nothing you could do to stop me loving you."
A soft smile crossed Sirius' face. "You are a bloody sop, Andy," he said in a joking tone as he looked over at her. "How much have you had to drink tonight?"
"Shut it, Sirius," Andromeda snapped playfully. "Is it that horrible to hear your favorite cousin tell you she loves you?"
Sirius rubbed Harry's back soothingly. "I think I had one too many beers with Teddy tonight," he admitted. "Because you have me talking about my ruddy feelings and my childhood."
"Oh, the horror," Andromeda mocked. "I'll take Harry and you can go tell Marlene these things instead of me."
Sirius shrugged. "Look, it's easy to talk to you because you were there. You experienced most of it firsthand, right by my side," he reasoned. "Marlene grew up with a loving family. She doesn't understand why I am vehemently against giving anyone in our family a second chance."
"I don't think you give her enough credit," Andromeda level, her temple pressing onto his shoulder once more. "Telling Ted about our childhood has only helped him understand why I do the eccentric things that I do. He knows I need reassurance after a fight that he's not going to abandon me. He knows I need to be told how much he loves me verbally on a regular basis. He understands that he needs to just tell me if something is wrong or else I'll fret over it until I make myself sick. It's all the little things that Ted does because he knows about the severe lack of love we received as children and the deep-rooted abandonment issues that I know we both share. I see that he does it with you too. The way he drops everything to greet you, the way he'll call you his brother, the way he'd do anything you ask of him. Marlene would do those small things as well if you just opened up to her a bit more."
"Right," Sirius replied in a tight voice, not knowing what else to say.
It was a hard thing to explain to Andromeda. He felt like Marlene knew enough about his childhood to understand why he was the way he is sometimes. There was no need to dish out sob stories. He didn't want to dwell on the past. All he wanted to do was focus on the future with his growing little family. There was no room for Walburga and all the other Blacks. He didn't trust any of them as far as he could throw them.
"Have any baby names picked out?" Andromeda asked.
Sirius was grateful for the topic change. "Well, if it was a boy, I wanted to name him Alphard. But we're having a girl so I haven't the foggiest idea."
"How about–"
"I'm going to stop you right there," Sirius interrupted. "I adore Dora with all my heart, but you really gave her the shittiest name in the history of names. Nymphadora? Andy, what the bloody hell were you thinking? I mean, were you on some serious potions or what? I love you, dearly, but I don't trust your naming skills at all."
"Sirius!" Andromeda exclaimed, jolting back to look at him.
"Nymphadora Ophelia Tonks is really a mouthful," Sirius continued.
Andromeda frowned. "Well, Ophelia is Ted's mother's name, so maybe you want to hush before he hears you insulting his mother."
Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "I'm not insulting Ted's mother. I am insulting your naming abilities. Maybe if you paired Ophelia with something else, it wouldn't be a bloody mouthful. I mean, let's be honest, Andy, her name isn't helping the bullying issues at school."
Andromeda let out a huff. "Anything else you want to criticize me on besides picking a name that you think is exasperating her issues as school? Like I did it on purpose or something."
Sirius was a ruddy berk. "I didn't mean it like that. That came out wrong."
"You say it like Sirius is any better of a name," Andromeda retorted. "Your name is a, is a bloody emotion!"
Sirius grinned. "I'd say it's more of a state of mind. An attitude. Yeah, let's go attitude. That sounds brilliant."
Andromeda huffed out a single laugh, her eyebrows raising.
"Just because we were named truly awful names, doesn't mean we have to curse the next generation," Sirius reasoned, his grin growing wider.
"I like my name," Andromeda argued.
"Should I start calling you Andromeda instead of Andy then?" Sirius asked, his eyes sparkling.
Andromeda sighed, but a smile split across her face. Leaning back into the swing, she looked up at the sky.
"I think it should be a star name," Andromeda advocated. "Don't think of it as a Black tradition. Think of it as a pastime, something fun we did with Uncle Alphard."
Sirius squinted up at the blue cluster of stars. "He really liked the Pleiades star cluster, remember?"
"Well, there's seven names to choose from," Andromeda pointed out. "I won't say which one I like in fear you'll start mocking me again."
Sirius chuckled, turning his attention back to her. "You make it too easy, Andy."
"Shut it," Andromeda said as she snuggled close to Sirius' side. "Now, tell me a story about the stars. Do the voices like Uncle Alphard did."
"I am not doing the voices," Sirius replied.
"You're a father now. You may as well start to practice your voices," Andromeda pointed out. "Ted excels at the voices. He could give you lessons."
Sirius groaned and decided to tell the story of the seven sisters. He refused to do any voices, which Andromeda interrupted him several times to urge him to do the voices. But Sirius ignored her attempts. He couldn't even attempt to do it, his stomach clenching as he thought about his uncle. He had been the only adult in his young life who had showed him a speck of love. Sirius wanted more than anything for him to be sitting next to them, telling the stars' stories with all of his different voices. It pained him to know that Harry and his daughter would never have the pleasure to know him.
Hope you enjoyed the latest chapter! Don't forget to drop a review. They keep me motivated to keep chugging along. I've stopped replying to reviews on this sight because of all the issues with alert emails and just general problems on the site. I do post over on AO3 and reply over there still. So, if you'd like a response, let's move to AO3. It's only a matter of time before I give up on this site completely. Nostalgia is what is keeping me here despite my increasing frustrations.
Special thanks to prewettpotter for all of her help!