Outside, the peachy orange light filtered through the pale, thick clouds pressed into the skies as the sun sat low on the horizon. Late afternoon had slipped beyond them like a lazy river and evening approached with a haze of dusty grey. Ana burrowed beneath a faux-fur throw with a book in hand and heavy stack of paper she had marked up on the end table. The early evening glow stroked her face with care, lighting each of her serene features.
This tranquil moment warred with Finn's earlier stolen glimpse of her.
He had caught her in the late morning, toiling over a mountain of paper and darting between several of her modern technological contraptions. Her delicate features had twisted into an irritated frown as she tore through the workload with such an alarming quickness and single-minded focus that his ghostly presence felt like an intrusion. A possible distraction even from afar. He had disappeared into the drawing room and remained until lunch when she prompted him from his melancholic daze.
"Kol should be back soon," Ana said idly and set down her book. She turned to face him and her eyes were a strangely captivating deep honey-brown in the dim of evening. "I'll finish up dinner."
Finn remained quiet, doubtful of his brother's continued presence in her home after his reappearance but unwilling to pierce any possibilities of her hope. Kol's sense of self-preservation was the strongest amongst all of his siblings when he wasn't ruled by his mercurial moods and strange attraction to violence. His youngest surviving brother would undoubtedly disappear at first chance. Finn trailed after Ana into the kitchen as she pulled on her apron and began to work. She moved with a catlike grace, near soundless, almost like a hunter in the wild. It reminded him of simpler times, of his youth and his family, long before betrayal had tormented them into enemies and family all at once.
"No longer interested in acclimating yourself with modern entertainment?" She glanced up at him as she rolled out several soft dough balls into thin circles.
"It can grow to be too much," he admitted. "I come from a much quieter time. Everything is too jarring even in this form."
She hummed. "When you're resurrected, there's a few books you should read. I think they'll help."
"I did enjoy reading in the little time I spent in this era," he said. "It's quite fascinating what centuries have done to humanity's imagination. Rebekah attempted to convince me to read something called Twilight."
Ana's hands paused and she looked at him oddly. "Does she hate you?"
"Rebekah?" Finn mused. "No. I think out of all of us, she is the one that loves us all the most, regardless of our actions and sins."
"...right," she said. "It could've been out of love."
"Have you read it?"
"It's an interesting series of books," Ana deferred. "It's about vampires but not any kind that currently exists. I wouldn't have recommended it myself especially with the underlying messages and themes but it would be interesting to hear your perspective about it. I think the movies might be a better way to consume them. Quicker."
"I believe I would enjoy your recommendations more," he said honestly.
"Perhaps. I'd do my best to find something you'd enjoy." Her eyes flickered away from him towards the doors. "Kol has returned."
Finn blinked and shifted through the walls to the foyer. The front doors swung open to reveal his little brother, covered in snow but returned nonetheless.
"Welcome back," Ana said from behind him.
"Don't tell me you've scared off my brother, darling?" Kol grinned and ruffled his hair free of the melting snow. "I don't see him anywhere."
She rolled her eyes and lightly touched Finn's shoulder. He shivered at the magic flowing through him and found himself facing his little brother. An irritated expression flashed across Kol's face before it disappeared as he faced Ana.
"Well, you dashed my hopes," Kol said. "What's for dinner?"
"Kimchi fried rice, soup dumplings, gyoza, citrus salad, and some pickled vegetables. It'll be quick. So, set the table for me, please?"
"I suppose," he sighed dramatically.
Ana rested against the island as Kol washed the dishes.
The first time he had done them she had been genuinely surprised considering all the tales he told her of his family traipsing throughout European history as faux-nobles. It had prompted him to tell her, guardedly, about his childhood as a Viking and helping his mother with the household despite their father's insistence of his place as a boy. His little sister, Rebekah, had been his saving grace, apparently, through her complaints of no one helping her with chores. Their father favoured his only daughter greatly, in Kol's eyes, and he wouldn't suffer her complaints if their family could quell them with ease.
"Sparkling." Kol set down the last of the dishes on the drying rack with an over-dramatic flourish. "Just like you, darling."
"Hilarious," she said. "Well, I have good news for you. There's a vampire movie series called Twilight and you're going to watch it with Finn. I'll leave you two to the brotherly bonding since I have human responsibilities."
Kol narrowed his eyes. "Why are you so insistent on this brotherly bonding as you call it?"
She glanced at the doors to the drawing room and contemplated the truth of her thoughts. "I'll tell you another time, but you should talk to him and stop disappearing. Conversations can be conducive."
"You clearly have never witnessed a 'discussion' between Mikaelsons," he snorted. "There is no such thing as favourable or helpful in our family when it comes to words exchanged. They're simply an excuse to test other weapons against each other."
"Well, I don't know if you've been around when this quote came to be," Ana said before she nudged him towards the doors. "But you should be the change you wish to see. I think you'll find common ground with him on this topic."
"Out of all my brothers, Finn and I are the least likely to find ourselves agreeing."
"Not on this," she assured him.
SUPERNATURALLY STUPID SQUAD GROUP CHAT
[4:28AM Eastern Standard Time]
[koji asano]: i'm in fucking florida and i hate alligators
[koji asano]: what the fuck is wrong with this place
[ana lau]: what do the kids say these days
[ana lau]: oh. L + ratio + you fell off + grow up + seek help + florida
[koji asano]: i fuckin hate you
[jasmine yeung]: I'm so proud I rubbed off on you.
[heejin kim]: kids these days? girl, we're not that old.
[jamila tang]: I don't know about that. I feel pretty old.
[gabriel caringal]: OMG. Don't even get Jamila started on her existential crisis. We were talking about it for hours the other day.
[gabriel caringal]: And she said something stupid about her back hurting already.
[jamila tang]: I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE
[heejin kim]: your back hurting was a secret? you used to yell about it all the time.
[jamila tang]: I don't want people to know I feel old. :/
[heejin kim]: five years too late for that.
[ana lau]: i need a vacation
[ana lau]: im being worked like a donkey
[gabriel caringal]: Didn't you already have one, babes?
[jasmine yeung]: It lasted like two weeks at most.
[ana lau]: a vacation from everything including other ppl and the gods
[ana lau]: fuck being a divine emissary i want to be a rock
[heejin kim]: HA. good luck with that. you're cursed.
[jamila tang]: You need to have more realistic goals, Ana.
[ana lau]: fuck u
[ana lau]: i know
[koji asano]: your life seems pretty good from here
[koji asano]: in fucking florida
[ana lau]: u can take that L bc i wouldn't know
[jasmine yeung]: I'm so proud of my gaymer girl talk.
[koji asano]: why?
[koji asano]: she's already nearly incoherent through text.
[jasmine yeung]: Because it clearly irritates you and that's all I want from life.
The end credits of the second film scrolled by on the screen. Kol shut off the television and stared out the windows into the inky night blurred by the smog of the city. The starless skies were lit by the sheer brilliance of Manhattan's light pollution, blazing even from a distance.
"That was awful," he finally said.
Finn stared at the darkened screen. "Rebekah had recommended that I read the books."
"Of course that strumpet would love this," Kol muttered. "She would want that for herself."
"Is it so wrong of our little sister to crave love?" Finn mused. "Such thoughts have plagued her for so long. I cannot hold it against her to want something for herself out of this existence especially when Niklaus refuses to release his hold on all of us."
"It is when she'd sooner lay our heads at the guillotine than sacrifice her love," Kol sneered, furious with the thought of Marcel and Matt and all the others who didn't deserve to lick the soles of Rebekah's feet. "She and Elijah are the reason why Nik can't seem to part with his idea of the perfect family."
Finn dipped his head in acknowledgement of that point. "You always did dislike her suitors regardless of who they were."
"And you were always indifferent to anyone pursuing her," Kol retorted.
"Rebekah is quite capable of taking care of herself."
"You've always thought we could take care of ourselves," he said, standing up. "Look at how we've turned out."
Finn's eyes grew dark as their gazes met, a burning fury in them uncharacteristic of his eldest brother. "You are blaming me for our family's circumstances?" he asked. "The one you all had left trapped in a box beneath a dagger for nearly a thousand years?"
Kol bit back his snapping reply when he heard the quiet melody of Ana's humming upstairs, flowing through the vents. Her near-inaudible soft voice fell over him like a strange soothing spell.
"Do you not blame me? Or does Finn the Great and Boring and Moral feel that such behaviour and thoughts are beneath him?"
Finn scoffed and turned his cheek.
A strangling silence smothered them but Kol refused to admit defeat by retreating. He would not lose to Finn of all people. So, he remained in the drawing room, staring at nothing. Either Finn would leave or speak first, but it would not be him.
Minutes or hours passed between them. At that point, it hadn't mattered, only that it was still night and the brownstone's lights had grown dim through some feat of technology Ana had mentioned but didn't bother explaining. Kol remained unmoved and on the couch.
"How long will you insist that I remain as I am, little brother?" Finn finally broke the silence that had smothered them. "I wish to live again."
"Tell me about our mother's schemes and I'll consider it," Kol said.
"Of course," Finn said bitterly. "Mother must have confided in me. I cannot simply wish to live without my own motivations."
"Are you saying that she didn't?"
"Not enough to sate your mistrust to allow Ana to revive me."
Kol scoffed. "I don't see how you know what I'll do."
"She plans on reviving Father, returning herself, and eventually tormenting us into death. She hasn't chosen a method but she'll find a way. As she always does," Finn said drolly. "But she doesn't know that you live. She believes you faded into the void."
"Plan on running off and telling her?"
"Death is too much like my time beneath that wretched dagger you all kept me under. I have no wish to return to an existence like that and she would force it all upon us."
Kol's expression twisted oddly. "You keep saying that—"
"—none of you could understand," Finn snapped and he stood up. Even as a ghost, he towered over Kol, something he had hated—he was taller than Elijah and Klaus, but Finn had remained unreachable. Something about it chafed at him. "Decades are nothing compared to the centuries I was forced to endure, forgotten and unwanted and trapped. I grew aware of the passage of time. I could feel the world, the shift in the weather, every miniscule movement of the coffin, the dust grinding against my skin, the thickness of the air… I remember all the years Niklaus kept us on those dreaded boats, swaying relentlessly, unable to truly rest in that god forsaken box. I knew that you all had left me there to rot. None of you would've ever freed me of your own volition. I was probably nothing more than an afterthought at most. You're infuriated by the decades Niklaus has stolen from you but I have had my entire life taken from me. Everything. I woke up to a world changed. I woke up to a world unknown and afraid with my family ready to place another dagger in my heart at any moment. You would've torn everyone apart for the betrayal. Why am I not allowed the same?"
He stepped back at the raw pain on Finn's face. The sheer vulnerability of it all.
This was why he hated any attempts or appeals to conversation with Finn. He was so… human and honest despite what they were and what they lived through. Their father had never managed to crush the softness of Finn's spirit or heart. Even now, his eldest brother was a raw bleeding wound that refused to close. It was, also, proof of their mother's coddling and love that he remained untouched by their father's influence in such ways.
Kol looked away.
Finn, too, turned to stare out the window. "Of course, I blame you the least. Your only sins were a lack of care and desperation for self-preservation as always. A rather strange irony is that the one person who can commiserate with me is here and the person I wish to blame is furthest away."
"They're not that far," he muttered.
"You know where they are?"
"Would Nik bother remaining quiet about his presence now that his curse is gone, our parents are dead, and all the white oak burnt?" He crossed his arms and sunk deeper into the plush couch.
Ana's sweet scent wrapped around him from her designated seat in the corner. The strange fruit he hadn't managed to identify almost intoxicated him into docility but he shook himself out of the unease.
"No, I suppose not," Finn conceded.
He sighed. "I'll think more about letting Ana revive you."
"It is not thought upon the matter I wish for," his elder brother muttered.
Kol growled beneath his breath. This was why their family needed to inhabit their own corners of the world, free of each other. They made each other miserable. They dug beneath each other's skin. They infuriated each other to such heights that it endangered towns all with the simplest of words. They distrusted each other yet expected the most.
"You do not remember the years you spent as a human, do you?" Finn asked suddenly, breaking through Kol's thoughts.
He tensed.
Again, his brother cared too much about their humanity.
Just as he cared too much about magic and freedom.
The Mikaelsons and their flaws.
"You fussed a lot as an infant due to our mother's magic," Finn said. A strange wistfulness ruled his features, an almost longing plaguing his open face. "Niklaus was terribly jealous, even as a toddler, despite being the sole factor our family could become whole again after Freya. He refused to give up Elijah's attention willingly and he hated when I would prefer Elijah's company over his even if he did not particularly favour me either."
"And why does this matter at all?" Kol said mockingly. "Niklaus is a jealous brat. We all knew that."
Finn ignored him and continued to speak. If he had been alive, Kol would've easily silenced him, but as a ghost, he could do nothing but listen to his elder brother speak his piece.
Typical.
Perhaps, that was a point in favour of letting him return to the land of the living.
"When you were born, he felt the lack of mother's attention quite immediately and he hated it. I don't remember what compelled me to treat you differently from Elijah and Niklaus, only that I did," he paused. "Perhaps it was your affinity to magic or the fact that mother and father found themselves occupied by other matters quite quickly. I had spent most of my days cradling you and telling you stories of great warriors and wyverns. Niklaus loathed me for it, especially as I helped mother with you more than any other and he felt slighted by the gesture. It was the only time you didn't cry. Father had hated the fact I took up a form of women's work but even he could not withstand an infant's cry throughout the day."
Kol had nothing to say in return. He hadn't known—no one had ever told him and he was only an infant at the time. Though, he supposed, that it made sense. Elijah and Nik would've never disclosed such things to him; the former too used to his role as the eldest despite Finn's existence, the latter too petty to admit that someone had favoured Kol over him. His parents never did bother speaking of such matters and everyone else was born after. But he didn't bother to question Finn further no matter his curiosity on the matter.
"After Freya's death… you and Henrik were the only ones I truly tried with. Rebekah reminded me too much of her, Klaus preferred Elijah enormously, and Elijah always imagined himself as the eldest."
Kol had remembered Finn with Henrik. He had remembered the secret envy he held close to his heart; Nik had Elijah, Henrik had Finn, and he had no one. They were all Mikaelsons and they all had each other when it mattered but Kol never had someone that truly belonged to him within the family.
At least, he thought he didn't.
"And why did I not know of this?" he asked.
"I thought you did," Finn said.
"I didn't."
His brother's hazel eyes bore into him, as if daring him to ask further, but Kol played the ignorant this time. He refused to give any quarter to Finn, regardless of a past he didn't even know was true.
But Finn wouldn't lie about something so sentimental.
"You never played with us unless forced and only Rebekah could ever make you," he said. "You said that you were too grown."
Finn went quiet, if only for a moment, and when he spoke, his voice was distant; beyond the reach of anyone but those in the past. "Yes, I remember that, too."
It seemed that all they could do as a family was entrench themselves in memory, but that was no way to live. Kol refused to chain himself to such things when his own freedom was tenuous at best with Klaus still breathing. He withdrew and nodded at Finn who had taken to standing by the window and looking out at the slick city streets and passing humans.
Ana leaned back into her chair, staring at the ceiling of her temporary office.
She closed her eyes and sighed.
The responsibilities the gods laid upon her shoulders were always so heavy.
It was as if she had become Atlas holding up the world.
A red dawn arose the next day, breaking through the curtains of the brownstone, and casting its inhabitants in scarlet light.
Ana adjusted her silken black turtleneck as she held her iced matcha latte against her lips. She surveyed the two brothers from the head of the table. Kol and Finn were on opposing sides of the dining table as if they were ready to wage war against each other. Their breakfast that morning was sweet and reminded her of the scant few months she spent alone in Taiwan. Porcelain bowls of rich silken tofu soaking in a caramelised brown sugar and ginger syrup were accompanied by strawberries, blueberries, and wolfberries in their own little bowls. She had set out bowls of thick and tangy homemade vanilla greek yogurt. A plate of savoury sticky pork belly buns sat in the centre for balance; she had broiled the sweet soy marinated meat until the fat went crisp and reglazed it with cooked down marinade. The pork belly filled the soft steamed buns along with fresh cucumbers, snappy carrot slices, and scallions.
Kol had preferred the latter while Finn had leaned towards the sweeter options. Ana had made both options for herself for a reason. She sighed under her breath and set her drink down to eat, ignoring the thunderclouds sitting at her table. Unlike them, she needed to eat even if they were unintentionally trying to ruin her appetite.
The two of them continued their silent battle until Kol stood up to help her clean up the dining table. As the youngest and only girl of several male cousins, she knew better than to involve herself in certain matters when she didn't have to. There were times to live and let go and this was one of them.
She leaned against the doorway as Kol readied himself in the foyer. Finn had chosen to remain behind in the dining room, gazing out of the windows in deep thought.
"I'm leaving," Kol informed her, for once, as he shrugged on his jacket.
"You should come back early today," she said. "Around the afternoon."
He raised a brow. A dangerous, excited gleam eclipsed his brown eyes. "And what is this about, darling?"
"I'll give you answers to questions you've been asking," she said and pushed him towards the door. "Go make mischief elsewhere until then."
"And here I thought it would've been something much more enticing." He grasped her hand with a wicked grin.
She shot him an unimpressed look. His teeth gleamed under the fluorescent overhead lights when his grin grew wider.
"I suppose you'll simply have to suffer without me until then," he said dramatically. "But I must terrorise the city, darling, and I would not have you involved."
"Go," she said and rolled her eyes, shutting the door behind him.
She could hear his soft laughter even through the door before he disappeared into the unknown. Ana strolled back into the dining room to sit beside Finn and he welcomed her with a distracted smile.
"I hope you don't have anything exciting planned for today," she said casually. "Because I already made some for us last night."
"Plans?" He blinked.
"Well, now that Kol is gone, we're going out as well." She clasped her hands together. "So, I'll give you about fifteen minutes to prepare yourself for the ugly reality of New York City."
"And what will we be doing?" he asked curiously.
"Furthering your understanding of what we talked about the other day." Ana plucked her iced matcha latte back into her hands, now fully able to enjoy it without the tensions between the two brothers to sour it. "It was all talk and no action or examples."
"But I believed your words," he said firmly.
"Finn, people don't change so easily. Lifelong beliefs, philosophies, and thought processes have a sustained hold that require a slow trim until you reach the bottom. It takes time and patience even for ghosts like you," she said. "Which is why we're going out."
"Are you doubting me?" he asked, hazel eyes murky with something she couldn't quite identify.
It was a potent cocktail of many things—hurt, resignation, and dissatisfaction? She wasn't quite sure and wouldn't take the chance of confronting them. It seemed like today was one where she'd balance on eggshells around her two charges.
"I can say anything and explain until I lose my voice, you can say you've internalised it, but you'll never truly develop an understanding until you experience it for yourself." She patted his shoulder and stood up. "I don't expect you to change something that's over nine hundred years old within days. It's not that I don't believe you, it's that I don't think anyone can achieve such change without work. A ship suddenly turned off course can cap size and all that."
He stared at her before he nodded in acquiescence.
"Anyway, I doubt you would ever be able to find something like this on your own and I doubt your family would be aware of such things with how busy they keep themselves with other things."
"Yes, I suppose that this will be interesting on its own," he said. "My family would not frequent the places you do."
"Precisely," she said.
Ana led them further and further away from the brownstone towards the East River. Finn had wrinkled his nose at their little trip through the public transportation offered by the city—doubtless unimpressed by the filth and crowds and general hostility that sat over the city just as Kol was. She didn't mind; every city had its own charms tucked away and they were about to visit one.
"And what am I learning today?" Finn asked, bemused.
She dodged a cyclist intent on ramming her down and Finn stared at her in alarm. Ana waved it off and continued towards their destination. She tucked her trench coat closer to herself, not really bothered by the cold but unwilling to allow the wind to pierce her.
"You think vampirism is a curse," Ana said. "I don't blame you. Back then, your options were probably limited, but I think it's whatever you make of it. Some people have decided that their vampirism is their life's gift. I met someone a few years ago—Amari. She's been a vampire for over four hundred years. The amount of good she's done in that time is insurmountable."
Finn crowded towards her, following behind closely even though she knew he could hear her clearly. She was all too aware of his presence towering over her but didn't bother voicing it. Ghosts weren't aware that she could innately feel them and she didn't truly want to explain her magic when she had other goals in hand.
"You were… daggered for nine hundred years," she said. "You haven't lived enough to see how the world has changed and how you can contribute to it. I want you to see that there are options for someone like you."
"Someone like me?"
She merely smiled in response and stopped on the sidewalk to gesture at their destination. A small black flag trimmed with gold had the bold script of the shop's name—Diarist Nostalgia—etched into the fabric. It was a stationery shop set into a strip of old red brick buildings with large windows carved into the front and thick double-glazed glass doors framed by black rails. Ana had frequented it often due to her connection to the shop's owners and the back room which hid many secrets like the fact that all of the employees were supernatural beings.
She pulled open the doors and stepped in with Finn at her heels.
The scent of freshly baked cookies flooded her senses. It invoked a soothing warmth in her. The stationery shop was filled with warm, ruddy wood in the forms of long shelves, countertops, tables, and dressers. All of the furniture was worn but loved, filled to the brim with stationery of all kinds—stickers, washi tape, journals, pens—all the worlds and then some.
Her friend never did things by half which was why she was the perfect person for what Ana had in mind.
"Amari!" Ana greeted.
The woman behind the counter lifted her head before she smiled, cheeks dimpling, and her white teeth gleamed. Sunlight gilded her deep umber skin and defined the tightly curled, cherry black hair framing her face into a soft afro. She wore a soft white sweater that only emphasised her soft and welcoming features.
"Ana, it's been a while!" she said and stepped out from behind the carved wooden counter. She enveloped the smaller girl in a hug. "I'm guessing you heard about our new stock?"
"Guilty," she said and patted the vampire's back. "Now, how has business been?"
"Steady," Amari said. "I just sent Niamh on her break and she went to Starbucks. She would hate to miss you."
"She's a terrible enabler and I do not need her to convince me to buy two hundred packs of stickers," Ana dismissed. "Today is just a quick visit and I'll try to make time to visit before I leave New York again."
"Oh, that's disappointing," Amari said, frowning.
"What can I say? I'm a wanted woman." She shrugged with an easy smile. "I'll take the new Sailors, the limited edition Pilot and Platinum, and all of your store's exclusive fountain pens. All extra fine or fine, whatever is available," she rattled off, eyes trailing over the displays. "I'll hold off on the inks. They don't travel well and I never know when my time is up in a city."
"Hm, are you sure you don't want time to browse?" Amari asked as she began to pull off Ana's items from the shelves. "There's no one else around and I know how you prefer the quiet."
"No, no, I have business with the family to conclude," Ana said. "And I know you're probably preparing for some event in the evening for your employees before you run off and save the world. I'll just take those. I'd hate to hold you up when I know what I want."
Amari rattled off the total and turned the screen to her. "You really need to show me your collection one of these days."
"You know I don't live here," Ana said and laid down a stack of bills. "Keep the change. Do whatever you'd like with it for me."
"You know I donate it almost every time." Amari laughed. "You can just say you're too lazy to make the journey down."
"I was thinking you could treat your staff to coffee and lunch on my behalf or give them a holiday bonus."
"That sounds like a good idea," Amari said thoughtfully.
Ana set down a few more hundred dollar bills. "Well, this is just in case you still need to donate. It'll be on me."
"No, you've done enough—" she protested.
"You've got to take advantage of every rich person you encounter," Ana advised and slipped the bills closer. "It's the only way to live and you know that."
"Well, you're my favourite rich person so I wanted to make an exception," Amari said teasingly.
"I'm sure you say that to all of us," Ana said and took the brown paper bag offered up to her. "Stay safe and if you need help, you know my number."
Finn had wandered while she spoke with Amari, marvelling at the shop filled with things Ana doubted his siblings showed him. There were only so many things one could cram into the short amount of days he managed to live in the modern era. Perhaps when Kol agreed to revive him, she'd take the time to give him the rundown of the new world starting with everything she loved.
He seemed like someone that appreciated much more docile and quiet activities.
Ana kissed Amari on the cheek as a goodbye and stepped out of the shop with a wave. The brown paper bag scratched against her coat as she turned the corner and waited for Finn's reappearance at her side.
It wasn't a long wait at all.
"Well, what did you think?"
Finn ran his fingers through his pale brown hair, hazel eyes darting back towards the shop. "I thought this was a lesson."
"Not yet," she said and studied him. "This is a little journey you're going on your own."
"What?" he asked, surprised.
"I think you need to spend time with yourself in a non-stressful environment and this is the perfect way to do it."
"And what would you have me do?" he said slowly, almost dreading her answer.
"Follow Amari around for today," Ana said. "I think she'll give you a new perspective on life. She's one of the best people I know. No one has ever left her presence a worse person."
"And when I'm done?" Finn stared at her, hazel eyes full of distrust and wariness.
"You'll be able to find me easily," she assured him. "I'll be like a lighthouse to you. You were able to find me just now, weren't you?"
He nodded and relaxed every so slightly.
"It's my magic," she said. "The gods will guide you back to me if you get lost."
Finn hesitated before he nodded and stepped back through the stationery store doors. Ana tucked her hands into her pockets and made her way to Manhattan. She still had a few hours before the afternoon swung around and her family would undoubtedly need her help for something.
Ana leaned back into the plush recliner in her uncle's break room with her eyes shut. She had brought in lunch for Uncle Kentaro and Sachi to enjoy with her—a sushi platter, gyoza, miso soup, and agedashi tofu. Now, she was resting with battle plans for her family forming in her mind after he had disclosed some of the problems they were potentially facing in the near future. Problem after problem appeared in her life; this was truly the gods' and their hatred of her rearing its ugly little head once again.
"You look stressed," Uncle Kentaro said.
"Divine emissary things." She cracked open an eye to find a small steaming teacup in front of her and she took it with a grateful smile. "I'm feeling very much like the gods hate me."
He made a noise of understanding and sat down beside her. "And what's happening now?"
"I'm the tormented soul in the middle whipped from every direction and everyone wants something from me, but I want to live in peace."
"Hm, it sounds like you're in need of a vacation," he said easily. "I'm sure we can arrange that. You're going to have a niece soon. They're saying it'll be within the next month or two at the very least. Take it then."
"Uncle, I'm complaining right now," she said pathetically. "Don't make me think of good things. I'm trying to be miserable."
He laughed and ruffled her hair. "You're just like your mother in that regard. She hated anyone interrupting her teenage moods and sulking. She'd sulk even more in retaliation if you took even a second of her time away from being malcontent."
"How is the situation with the Sajis going?"
"Hiroyuki and Masahiro somehow obtained the location of Naoko Tsuji and her husband, Takeshi Saji, despite the fact they were in hiding," he said. "Do you know anything about that?"
"It was an educated guess." She sipped at her tea—a nice, light, and floral silver needle. "They had hidden assets in Oahu and Panama. They only had so much time to flee and they'd blend in more on Oahu."
"Well, it's solved for now," Uncle Kentaro conceded. "We've also managed to poach several clients from the Chois and Sanadas, but we'll need your help with the contracts and negotiations in the future."
"Great." She held up her hand and made the sign for 'OK'. "I'll make them regret ever looking at us."
"You still want to sulk?" he asked, rather unsympathetically in Ana's opinion.
Uncle Nobuhiro would've never done this to her.
"Yes," she said grudgingly.
Ana relaxed deep into the couch back at the brownstone, surrounded by the heated air and remnants of her own magic imbued into the building from her prolonged stay. She'd have to either set down a few sutras or wipe the place clean once she left. If Arnaud attempted to sell the place, the next owners would find themselves a beacon to all things haunted and ghostly, and someone would no doubt find a way to make it her problem.
She rubbed at the dull pain appearing in her collarbone absentmindedly. The sound of drum beats and echoing screams grew heavy in her ears; enough that it would rattle a car or building the way a passing train would rumble through a sidewalk.
What else could the gods possibly want from her now?
Well, she could it, because she could feel Kol's presence coming up the steps of the brownstone. The front door cracked open and a gale of wind managed to sneak in before he slipped in. He ran his fingers through his wind mussed brown hair.
"Finn? Ana?" he called out.
"Finn isn't here," she informed him.
"He isn't here?" Kol snapped to attention and flashed to the spot before her, eyes growing wild and ferocious. "Ana, if he's off gallivanting—"
"He's not trailing after your mother," she said. "I gave him homework and he can't contact her even if he tried."
He blinked.
The black veins beneath his eyes receded along with his fangs and his nose wrinkled once her words had sunk in. "My brother is already a poor dead man. What did he do for you to torture him like that, darling?"
"Aren't you a proponent of scholarly pursuits and knowledge?" She leaned backwards and patted the couch cushion beside her. "There's always something to learn. Even for thousand year old vampires like you."
He snorted and sat down beside her. His knee pressed against her crossed legs. "Speaking of learning, what did you mean by Finn not being able to contact our mother if he tried?"
"There's different planes for different ghosts," she explained. "Didn't you find it strange that you didn't see any other ghost throughout New York City the entire time you spent as a ghost with me? There's ghosts everywhere."
"You can see ghosts that you aren't saving?"
"Yes." She looked at him oddly. "Why wouldn't I be able to? Anyway, Finn exists in a different realm of ghosts from your mother. She probably thinks he disappeared."
He sank deeper into the couch and crossed his arms. "Thousand years old. So you know?"
"I do. Finn told me more about your family than you did. He was rather free with his information but I doubt he knows everything considering what happened to him."
Kol tensed. "He didn't bore you with the details, did he?"
"He told me what the daggers are and how long he was under," she said neutrally.
"Did he blame me?" He sat up abruptly and met her gaze.
"Did you ask him if he blamed you?" she asked. "It's not really a matter between you and me."
"Did he blame me?" he repeated.
"Kol. I don't blame you," she said. "Do I wish things went differently for Finn? For you? I do, but the past isn't something we can change. Only the future."
He relaxed by a margin at her words. His brown eyes searched her face and when he couldn't find anything he gave up, relaxing beside her once again.
"Now, darling, are you going to tell me why you're so insistent on my brotherly bonding with Finn?" he asked. "You must know that brotherly bonding in the Mikaelson family results in burning streets and hundreds of deaths."
Ana contemplated the directions their discussion could possibly go. Kol could refuse to speak, easily redirecting the conversation towards other things that made him less uncomfortable. He could grow angry at her for prying. He could disappear in a rage. He could mislead her. There were hundreds of possibilities and she wouldn't dare to say that she understood or knew her new friends entirely enough to predict his reaction. But, if she wanted to guide him onto the path of healing, the only road she could truly take was the one that required trusting him.
"Did he ever really wrong you?" she asked. "Did he ever have the time?"
"No," he said. "But he's not trustworthy."
"I thought…" She paused and tried to gather the right words.
"Well?" Kol arched a brow and propped up his head, elbow resting on the back of the couch.
"You wanted your family to pay attention to you. You wanted your own brother to always be in your corner in the same way your other brothers are for each other."
He scowled and retracted from her, guarded. His eyes grew darker when she looked at him. "So?"
"Why can't Finn be that for you?"
"What do you mean by that?"
"You know what I mean. Your families have outcasted the two of you for one reason or another," she said directly and faced him fully. The armrest pressed against her back. "I think you two would understand each other in ways the others might not if you made the effort. I think you two are lonely in the same ways and I think you know that but you've seen everyone in your family as enemies for too long that it's hard to differentiate between them."
"You don't understand," Kol said harshly. "My family isn't like yours. We've had centuries of enmity between us. We've ruined each other's lives time and time again."
Ana decided to let that dig at her go.
"But, that's not exactly true between you and Finn, is it?"
"No," he said. "But it doesn't alter the fact he sees me as a monster. It doesn't change the fact that we are not alike enough to get along. He's a bore and I'm a bloodthirsty murderer."
"That's a little bit of a defeatist attitude I didn't expect from you," she said lightly.
He snorted and leaned closer. "What do you expect from me, darling?"
"I thought you'd be the type to take any opportunity to have something you didn't before. Someone from your family to be on your side. You own little Always and Forever."
His eyes dropped, jaw growing tense as he went silent. The adam's apple in his throat bobbed as he swallowed roughly. Ana tucked herself up into her corner of the couch.
"Just think about it," she said and patted his knee. "It might be a little strange for you to consider it but I think you'll find that Finn might be the best person in your family for you."
"And you really think that?"
"You balance each other out," she said. "And I think that while there are wounds in your relationship, they're not as deep as you think."
"I don't see why you would think that of all things. You must have heard us arguing by now."
Ana met his expectant gaze. "Well, the first night he appeared… he looked relieved to see you. I don't think that would be the case if he thought so little of you."
She stood up and left him alone in the drawing room to stew on that last thought.
#
Hours after she had left Kol to his pondering, Ana began to work in the dining room. Her academics were fine and not a concern; she had long finished several assignments on the syllabus beforehand in preparation for future events. It was primarily her family and the other residents of her cousin's brownstone on her mind. Her family's situation with the Clan Elders, the political implications of the future, and relationships with other business families were at the forefront. The chessboards had been set and she'd have to play against several opponents at the same time.
The hair on the back of her neck stood up and she set aside her thoughts to turn around. Finn lingered at the backyard doors, his ghostly form taking up the entire space. The cold evening light trailed after him through the curtains draped over the rarely used entrance.
His face wasn't troubled, but his hazel eyes spoke of another story.
No, Ana decided.
Troubled was a much harsher term than what she'd ascribe to Finn. Puzzled was a more apt assessment.
Well, regardless, there was another inhabitant of her not-home to worry about.
"Finn," she announced. "Welcome back."
Kol had clearly taken that as a sign to disappear which is what she had suspected would happen. The sudden cold cutting through the brownstone's thick warmth and quick clap of the front door shutting were the only sign of his vanishing but she had given him the opportunity for a reason. He would need more time to decide on what he wanted for his future. Finn's presence would exacerbate his brooding or halt his revelations and that's the last thing she wanted.
Her newest charge from the gods inclined his head. "I'm glad to have returned."
"It couldn't have been too terrible," she said, amused.
"It was an experience I appreciated," he said. "But it was… overwhelming."
"The new world can be that way."
She observed him with new eyes. Kol was much less robust than his brother in frame but radiated a much more dangerous air. Finn, while tall and broad-shouldered, moved with a softness and grace apparent even in his ghostly form. His face was sharp and carved like a Grecian marble statue, and his typical expression was on the slightly severe end, but none of that could hide his kind eyes.
He seemed lighter in his return, somehow.
"I think I understand what you meant by this experience potentially being enlightening," he admitted as he sat down. "But I would like for you to offer your wisdom on the matter."
"Well, what do you want to know?" She crossed her legs and turned towards him.
"Couldn't she have done the same if she remained human?"
"Oh, gods, no." Ana shook her head furtively. "Amari could only ever do the work she does because she's lived as long as she's had. You could never replicate the experience she's accumulated in the short lifespan of a normal human even with all the knowledge in the world injected into her brain.
"She's developed networks, cultivated worldwide resources, built international foundations, and all of that would have crumbled if she died. It's happened before and it would've happened again if she hadn't kept the reins in her hands for hundreds of years. If she handed her work off to the several other people available after her, not a single one would've ever been able to match up to her skills alone. She's a miracle worker. The work she's taken up has prevented a lot of people from suffering on a global scale."
Finn nodded, eyes turned away in thought. "I suppose I had never had the opportunity to see such things and possibilities. My family is so entwined with violence and each other that the world falls away when we're in one another's presence."
"Don't worry too much about changing overnight," she said. "You have time. Nothing needs to be immediate. You're out from underneath your family's influence enough to see the potential in a future you can build for yourself."
"How did you become her acquaintance?" he asked.
"It's a very long story," she said. "But I met her in Libya after graduating high school and I was not there… legally. She was helping refugees escape the country due to the civil war. I helped her by accident. Friendships made like that are hard won."
A slight smile tilted Finn's lips. "Are all of your stories so… sensational?"
"It wasn't glamorous by any means." Ana winced at the memory of hazardous roads, inconvenient downpours, and the sound of bullets flying overhead.
"It gave me a sense of hope," Finn said. "To see her… live so freely and happily. The help she offered to others truly brought her joy. I have not seen anyone quite like her."
"She's one of a kind," Ana agreed. "Before the modern era came along, Amari used to be a pirate. She freed slaves, attacked colonial ships, and prevented people from becoming chattel. Her nature as a vampire made her impervious to the same harms as humans and it allowed to help without fearing for her safety."
"I had only seen the harm." He clasped his hands together and rested them on the dining table. "But I see that I wasn't allowed to witness the world as it is now."
"A curse can be a gift if looked at in the right lighting, just as a gift can be a curse. The things humans lose with a person's death, those things don't have to happen to vampires."
"Thank you," Finn said. "Truly, thank you."
Ana patted his shoulder and injected a little bit of her magic into him. He'd probably appreciate being able to half-interact with the world. She rose from her place at the table towards the stairs and her bedroom. It seemed that the next step was confining herself to her room and allowing the Mikaelsons space to think on their newest revelations. If only she had been at home, but there was a reason she had warded the place like a castle under siege. She didn't allowed ghosts or troubles to plague the one space she carved out in the world as her own. Which is probably why she should have never left it in the first place considering all the situations she found herself entangled in lately.
She swore to herself that she'd somehow find a whole month to set aside to spend in silence.
The moon had risen high into the sky when Ana allowed herself to rest her eyes.
It was midnight when the world around her bled crimson.
Shadows curled around her form and obscured her vision. Wispy hands threatening to strangle her. The rumble of thunder nearly deafened her and the chattering of cicadas filled any possibility of silence. The scent of sulphur and salt and iron burnt her nose. Lightning crackled through the skies and hit the ground, sputtering to a quick death due to the soaking scarlet mud. Thousands of eyes bore into her from every angle and wind crawled up her skin like scraping steel nails.
Ana remained still and unfazed.
The Middle Realm.
"It seems that my brother is fulfilling his promise and punishment quite faithfully."
She turned her head to find a small, sickly-looking teenage girl in the centrefold of the chaos. The girl wore a simple cream white and jade-green hanfu, her hair loose around her pallid face, and the black of her eyes looked far beyond Ana's translucent form. A hoard of winged creatures dove at the girl and rose at the last minute before circling overhead. The echoes of screams were the only sounds she could hear.
"You haven't called me here in a while," Ana said coolly. "What message do you have from the rest of the gods, Yun? Are they afraid to confront me after last time?"
"You have not revived Finn Mikaelson."
"No, I haven't."
"You do not intend to either."
"Not yet," she answered and leaned against the hard rock behind her. It was searing with heat but she couldn't quite feel it. Everything in this world muted her senses. "Everything has its time."
The girl-goddess glared at her. "You must revive him now."
"Has that ever worked on me?" Ana asked idly, not bothering to look at the girl in the face.
A wisp of smoke curled around her hands.
"You will face the repercussions of your decisions soon enough."
"It's not going to kill me," Ana said. "So, I'll take my chances."
Yun's lips pressed into a grim line. There was a beauty to this new severe face of hers, doubtlessly put on to somehow intimidate Ana into doing the gods' bidding on their timeline.
"You're a foolish girl," the girl-goddess said.
Ana shrugged and closed her eyes once more. "You knew that already."
hello. i'm so sorry that it has taken me so long to update. this chapter really had me in a block and it didn't help that inflation decided to happen. i've been jumping between my life as a full time university student and worker. every time a twelve hour shift is offered on the weekends, i've taken it, and it's been every weekend because we're so understaffed where i work. i have been taking Ls left and right from getting sick, getting hit with a car bill, replacing my furnace, and so many other things. why is being alive so expensive. unfortunately i am not ana with unlimited amounts of capital to throw around so it really did tie my hands with free time.
but the chapter is here now. i wrote this on my phone and i will be back to edit it soon because i know for sure that i fucked something up. my english writing skills have suffered lately.
thank you for all the feedback and comments and support across all my platforms. it really did give me so much motivation to write even in the smallest increments on my phone or in the little minutes i could carve out. i'm going to try my best and answer the tumblr asks left in my inbox too!