Regulus frowned, bringing Severus back to the present. "And what about the prank on Mary?"
Severus shook his head, his thoughts a chaotic whirlpool of past, present, and future. He couldn't make sense of the turmoil inside him. "It's cruel and unnecessary. We're better than that. I don't want to be a part of it."
Dan looked relieved, his shoulders sagging slightly. "And what about impressing the Dark Lord?" Dan asked.
Severus slung his arm around Dan's shoulder in an uncommon display of affection. "We are academics, Dan." Severus said. "I spent all my time with my nose stuck in books, just like you, Reg. I am sure the Dark Lord would much prefer the more valient types like Andrew and Rabastan." Severus then stood up abruptly, looking at Regulus and Dan. "Are you guys coming to the library? I need good grades to impress a potioneer into taking me under his wing."
Andrew's face twisted with annoyance. "You're all going soft. This is about proving ourselves and showing we're worthy. Why would you want to lick some potioneer's arse to slowly work yourself up in that field? The Dark Lord could help you become great!"
Severus felt his mouth go dry. The fear of Andrew's wrath, the pressure of expectations, and the haunting memories clashed within him. "I... I need time to think," he said, his voice barely above a whisper as he fled towards the library.
Regulus and Dan followed him; their footsteps echoed as they walked up the stairs. They entered the library. The familiar scent of parchment and books offers comfort to Severus. Without a word, they found a secluded corner where the three of them could talk undisturbed.
Regulus spoke first, his voice tentative. "Severus, are you sure? You've never denied Rabastan or Andrew before."
Severus sank into a chair, rubbing his temples wearily. "I don't know, Reg. Everything feels different now. I've been thinking about the future a lot lately. I cannot ignore the wizarding news either. The Dark Lord and his followers have been getting more and more aggressive. Attacks on muggles, muggleborns, and a few weeks ago even on a small wizarding village! I can't keep acting as if it is just a political idea that you support. This is more. This is worse."
Dan leaned forward, his brow furrowed with concern. "How much worse do you think it is?"
Severus hesitated, choosing his words carefully. "I don't know. I am scared of a war. Of having to choose a side. I hope it does not come so far, but one thing I am sure of. Joining the Dark Lord will only lead to regret. I've ignored my gut feelings, chasing acceptance and worthiness, trying to escape my own life."
Regulus and Dan exchanged a glance, sensing the weight behind Severus's words.
Dan spoke up, his relief evident. "I'm glad you're saying this, Severus. I've been feeling uneasy about where we're headed too."
Severus nodded, grateful for their understanding. "I can't go through with that prank on Mary. It's not who I want to be or what I want to become."
Regulus nodded slowly, processing Severus's words. "Alright. We stick together. We find our own way, away from all this darkness and madness."
Severus managed a faint smile, feeling a weight lift from his shoulders. "Thank you, both of you. I needed to talk this through."
As they sat in the quiet of the library, the decision settled over them.