Chapter 15: Would've, Could've, Should've

If you'd never looked my way

The flight back to Ohio was in one word uncomfortable. Sideways glances from strangers and concerned looks from flight attendants did nothing for her confidence. She really thought she could handle this. Push it down like she had so many other bad experiences. Why should this experience be different? That would be letting Dani win. No, she wouldn't let this affect her any more than other tragedies and misfortunes had. Dani was inconsequential and so should be her despicable parting gifts. And why were people looking at her anyway? She did enough cover up makeup on hickeys in high school to know she did a damn good job on the less pleasant bruises she was now sporting. Maybe it was because she was sitting oddly. Unlike Brittany who was the embodiment of sitting bisexually- in the most awkward way possible that is- Santana tended to have perfect posture. But being sore had her seated in a position that for all other intents and purposes was incredibly uncomfortable. But the alleviation from her other discomfort was worth it.

She tried to focus on watching Sweet Valley High. Band names hadn't ruined that for her, thank goodness. She was going back to Brittany, and she had a surprise for the blonde in the works. Brittany was going to graduate, and they were going to get to go to New York together.

I would've stayed on my knees

Unfortunately for Santana, arriving in Lima wasn't the relief she'd been so hoping for. No, because apparently Kurt and Mercedes thought and intervention was in order. She hadn't even had a chance to process what happened with Dani, heck she'd barely spoken to Brittany, when she was sat in the amphitheater being lectured on friendship. And then, as a cherry atop the crap cake, Rachel had to come to talk to her while she was reapplying her makeup, as was more necessary than ever, afterwards. She had some piss-poor peace offering of ten shows after the first three months. That wouldn't get her a lick of fame, and certainly wasn't going to smooth over the hellscape of their ruined friendship. It wasn't helped by her bad mood, still reeling in the after effects of a violent end to a lackluster relationship she'd put far too much value in. She didn't have time to worry about Rachel Berry and the violent end to their friendship too.

That evening she finally got an opportunity to talk to Brittany. She couldn't reveal her surprise yet- she still needed Sue's approval. But she wanted to talk about them. And she needed to tell Brittany what happened. She could feel it bubbling under the surface, and she didn't want it coming out at a less than opportune moment. So she had worked up the courage to tell Brittany everything.

"Hey Britt" she'd said as she sat down in Brittany's bedroom.

"Hey back" Brittany has said "You sure you don't want this to be a Fondue for Two episode?"

"Why would I want that?" Santana asked.

"I find fondue makes it easier to talk" Brittany shrugged "But I get it, the show and you have a complicated past."

"Yeah…look B, I um, I have to tell you something that happened with Dani and-" Santana started but Brittany stopped her.

"No offense San, but I don't want to hear about your new girlfriend. That's why I never talked to you about Sam." Brittany said.

"Britt, please, just listen? Its…Dani's not my girlfriend anymore."

"I'm sorry?" Brittany said, but she was actually pretty happy "Is that all you needed to say?"

"No…no Britt the last time I saw her um…she" Santana grabs a makeup wipe and wipes off the makeup covering the bruises on her throat, face and wrist "She hurt me."

"Oh my god, San, did you tell someone?" Brittany traces the bruises.

"No, and I'm not going to tell anyone besides you. I just…I couldn't keep it inside." Santana said.

"Oh honey" Brittany held Santana as she explained the rest of the dirty details.

And I damn sure never would've Dance with the devil, at nineteen

Brittany got the jump on surprises. The next day, after a good cry, Santana came into the choir room to find it covered in buckets of lilies, which Brittany quickly told her were the lesbian of flowers. Not only that, she'd book them one-way tickets to Lesbos. Brittany wanted to run away with Santana, and no argument Santana gave was valid. They were the two most awesome people in the world, and truthfully, she never wanted to be a Broadway star. At this point, she was holding on with pure spite of Rachel. And she knew that wasn't right, even if Rachel didn't deserve this win. Santana didn't need Broadway. She needed Brittany. It was time for her to pick something for herself, for her truth. To finally follow the path that she wanted instead of putting on a mask as she had for so many years.

She even made up with Rachel. With her resignation from the show, there was no more reason to be at each other's throats, and honestly, Santana needed to have a clear conscience to pursue happiness with Brittany for the foreseeable future. So she'd sing a song and clear the air, because it was what she needed. The year of Santana Lopez was on the horizon, and she wasn't going to let anything anchor her to the past.

She wasn't the only one saying hello to the future- the entire Glee club was. With its end, they all said goodbye to their pasts. To a time that they all adored, but was over. A final Don't Stop Believin put the perfect final note on the story of the Glee club. Now all that was left was to give Brittany a perfect end to her time in high school, one she had earned- graduation.

With a few favors now owed to Sue Sylvester, she secured the smartest person she knew a spot in the graduation line up. She also booked them tickets out of Lesbos to Hawaii, after her research found Lesbos was, in fact, not a lesbian island. And from Hawaii, they would start their next chapter together in New York City.

Memories feel like weapons