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Reality Viewing: Naruto the Charming Assassin Charmer

-Chapter 24-

"Aw, here's one of Naruto holding Mikan for the first time, look how cute those two were~"

"D'aww~ I remember that, she was being all fussy at fist before but fell asleep almost immediately once she was in his arms."

"He's such a good big brother."

"I know right? OH! And here's one of her first birthday party where she…"

' Huh, you know, I thought I'd be more embarrassed about this.' Mikan thought with a shrug to herself as she watched her mother, Kushina, and Sephie gushing over books of family photos. And as per the course, they inevitably came upon a variety of baby pictures of her that would normally leave a kid begging them to stop. Yet her she was barely even phased. ' Then again, I've had to deal with unending embarrassment all my life every time Rito walked into a room, not to mention Lala's antics. So, I guess this is rather tame in comparison.'

"OOOOOH! Baby pictures!" Speaking of Lala, the bubbly pinkette seemingly just appeared beside her mother, literally sparkling from joy and cleanliness after her bath. Grabbing a book, she eagerly flipped through it with the biggest smile ever while gushing nonstop.

Meanwhile, Naruto, Yami, and Momo all walked back at a much more sedate pace, or rather the former two walked whilst the latter piggybacked on the scarred faced blonde. Said blonde had a very faint blush on his whiskered cheeks as the pinkette VERY affectionately snuggled against him, her hands roaming all over his chest.

"I know I said this already but you really got some nice muscles, are you sure you won't reconsider going shirtless?"

"I'm sure," Naruto said with a shake of his head, sounding more amused than bothered by Momo's actions. "Is everyone from your planet so affectionate?"

"No, that's just her and Lala," Mikan stated dryly with Yami nodding in agreement as she took a seat beside the brunette. "And I'd start sleeping with one eye open if I were you, they love to sneak into people's rooms at night for naked snuggling."

"You make it sound like that's a bad thing, skin to skin companionship is very important for a healthy relationship." Momo stated in a matter-of-fact tone that was belied by the ever-present smirk on her lips as she rested her chin on Naruto's shoulder.

"You aren't even dating, hell, until a few days ago you were obsessed with setting up my brother with a whole harem with you included." The brunette pointed out dryly, recalling Momo's 'secret' harem plan that'd she'd been working towards for months now.

…What, you really think she wouldn't noticed what the plant-loving princess was up to?

"Yeah, I was looking forward to that, but we both know that's never gonna happen now, seeing as without his 'special' luck Rito is about as sexually aggressive as a teddy bear." Momo stated, actually losing her good mood finally as she sighed in defeat while Mikan couldn't help but nod in agreement. Her brother was many things, kind, helpful, clumsy beyond all hope, but the guy was utterly hopeless in all things romance and lust related.

Hell, even after everything he'd been through with Lala, he STILL couldn't confess to the girl he had a crush on without turning into a blushing stuttering mess.

"So with that in mind I'm back on the hunt," The princess continued with her smirk returning full force as she nuzzled her cheek against Naruto's. "And I think found myself one hell of a good catch."

"I'm flattered, but again, remember that I'm not the same Naruto you've been watching." The whiskered teen pointed out while poking Momo's cheek to get her to stop, though this only succeeded in making her snuggle in even closer.

"True, but I havent found anything I dislike about you yet."

"…I got nothing." Not knowing what else to say, Naruto just gave up on arguing and just took a seat beside his mother, who naturally wasted no time gushing about how cute the two of them looked together. "So are we gonna watch another… episode or what?"

"The Viewer is all buffed up, we were just waiting for you guys too get back first." Sephie said, earning herself a hug from her eldest daughter while Yami hit the play button.

"Wow... it's really hot here."

Planet Memorze, a planet that was well over 80 raw, overheated, desert. The planet had two suns, and with how they were positioned, the planet didn't have a day and night cycle, just a day cycle. The heat was about a dozen degrees hotter than it was in the Land of Wind back on his own home planet, and thankfully, Naruto could handle the heat rather well. Since he was able to wear black and orange in the desert without breaking a sweat, he could handle it here... mostly at least.

"Oh hey, it's Run and Ren's home planet." Lala said cheerfully when the desolate sandscape was played out on the screen.

"Yeesh, I'm starting to sweat just looking at that place." Kushina muttered under her breath, grimacing at just imagining how hot it would be.

"It is a rather harsh planet to live on," Sephie agreed as she recalled the few times she'd been to the planet on diplomatic missions. "Though with the aid of some modern technology it has gotten much easier for the local people to get by. In particular recent developments in Develukean Tech has greatly improved their quality of life."

"Is there any particular reason why you don't just whip something up to make the planet NOT a god forsaken desert?" The redhead asked with a raised brow, getting the eldest pinkette to shrug while shaking her head.

"The Memorze have been trying to figure that one out, but the only real way to do it would be to get rid of or move one of the suns. However, the sudden change of sunlight exposure would cause a massive shock to the planet's ecosystem, causing unpredictable climate catastrophes across the globe, so they've accepted that they'll have to deal with it."

"They why don't they just deploy a Biotech Atmosphere around the entire planet with an adjustable gradient that could be slowly changed over time until it reaches a more suitable standard to allow life to thrive then adjust the suns to match?"

"Oh, well that's actually not a bad… wait, who said that?" Sephie asked, causing Naruto to raise his hand. "How did you know all of that stuff?"

"Lala showed us a miniature one she uses to keep the bathroom at perfect humidity no matter how steamy it gets in there. I just figured why not scale it up to cover a planet instead." The whiskered teen stated with a shrug.

"Of course…" Why was she not surprised?

"The people here adapted to handle this planet." Yami pointed out as she wiped her forehead, she was sweating in the heat. She looked and saw that Naruto was sweating, but much less than she was. Unlike her though, Naruto had taken off his jacket and tied it around his waist to show off the shirt he was wearing underneath. ' ... He's actually really well built.' Yami noted, since she didn't usually see Naruto without his jacket covering his upper body.

His shirt was rather easy to see through, being mesh-armor, and she could see his toned body, and the developed muscle he had. Lean and tough, made for silent movements, but heavy amounts of power.

"Mama like~."

"Please stop drooling on me." Naruto said while wiping Momo's lips with a napkin he got from… somewhere.

"You okay wearing black like that?" Naruto asked her as he put his hands in his pockets. Instead of carrying his stuff like he intended, he had decided just to seal it all away in a scroll that was being kept in his kunai pouch. Normally, he preferred a backpack, but this time that would just add to his burden. "... Gaara would feel right at home here... Actually..." Naruto looked around and thought about it.

Over 80% desert, and punishing heats, with a small population that wouldn't really get in the way? This sounded like the perfect planet for Shukaku, the One Tails, after he had been freed from the statue he was bound in.

"He's not wrong, a giant desert planet would be perfect for him." Yami agreed with the other Naruto's reasoning as Memorze seemed like the perfect space for the Biju in question from what little she'd heard of it so far.

"Not sure the locals would be happy with a giant crazy sand tanuki being dropped in their back yard though." Mikan pointed out, getting the former assassin to pause.

"…Unless they used it for tourism perhaps?"

"Touche."

"This planet was one of the first to benefit from trade with other planets. Now, food and water are much easier for them to get." Yami looked back at Naruto with a nod. It was the perfect planet for him to train on. With his speed, he could run far off into the desert for his training, and then come back to the city when he was done with training for the day. Nobody would be disrupted by his training, and she could get him used to interacting with other alien life.

"How much you wanna bet he somehow still gets entangled in some big mess with the locals?" Ringo asked Kushina, who giggled under her breath.

"If his luck is anything like my Naru's, that's a suckers bet."

*Poof*

Naruto looked and watched as a nearby woman turned into a man, and just continued to go on with his life. It was a young child, who didn't seem bothered by the change in gender in the slightest.

"Wow... that's... best of both world's I guess?" Naruto didn't know what to make of that to be honest.

He was still surprised by some of the other alien species he was seeing.

"Memorzians are the native species of this planet. When they're born, they have two personalities, and both genders in their bodies. They're capable of switching between the two." Yami explained to him. They were going to find an Inn, and restock her ship as well while they were at it. Then they were going to go and find the most secluded place on the planet to train.

"That's interesting, but how-"

"We're still trying to figure out how it works." Sephie said before Naruto could even finish his question, getting a nod from the whiskered teen.

Naruto looked over at a shop, and he blinked at it, not knowing how to read the alien script, even though he could hear people speaking the same language as him.

"... Why is everyone speaking the same language?" Naruto asked Yami in confusion as he listened in on multiple conversations. "... I mean, they don't use the same written language." Naruto pointed out as he walked towards the shop.

Yami was forced to follow him.

Yami glanced around.

"There is a race of... immortals... who traveled the Universe, and they taught many different species the same language. Their own language... they didn't visit all of the planets, but once space travel because common, it became known many planets used the same language, so they adopted it." Yami didn't want to cause panic by speaking the Otsutsuki clan name. The race of gods didn't teach people language out of the goodness of their hearts. No, they taught people language so that by understanding each other, it would be easier for them to cause planets to go to war against one another.

"And mood is killed…" Just the mention of those guys caused whatever excitement Momo felt to sputter out like a match in a rainstorm. Both because they were just BEYOND fucked up… and the fact she was sold to an all-powerful space midget that stole half her tits.

She wasn't alone though has Lala huddled against her mother's side with a quiet whimper just thinking about the things she'd seen them do and Yami's hair curled around Mikan protectively.

Naruto looked at her.

"... The people I'm descended from?" Naruto questioned her. Since both she and Kurama had mentioned the Otsutsuki, he was a little informed of his own roots, but he didn't press too much into it. He noticed that Yami didn't seem to want to answer him when he spoke, but she did anyway with a simple nod of her head. "Are they really that scary?" Naruto was admittedly curious.

Again, she nodded.

"Entire planets fall to them. They force the inhabitants of the planet to war against each other... and they plant God Trees in the blood soaked ground, before wiping out all life on the planet. After a thousand years, they suck the God Tree dry... and get rid of the planet." Yami whispered to the people in the store didn't hear her. Talking about that race of beings was enough to make anyone uncomfortable. Despite being a very small race of people, the Otsutsuki were extremely feared.

Nobody interfered with them, because nobody wanted to have their species erased from existence, and their planet as fuel for whatever the God Trees produced that was so important to these people.

They were just that feared.

"Ugh… I know you guys said they were bad but… ugh…" Ringo couldn't even put into words how messed up it was. She, Kushina, and Naruto had been given a brief summary about these Otsutsuki guys, of which they all agreed they were the single most fucked up group of people they'd ever heard about.

"Wow, to thing I'm descended from monsters like that... guess that goes to show blood doesn't decide everything." Naruto grinned as he looked as some strange devices that were on the shelves. Yami watched him curiously examining everything with the curiosity of a child, and since this was his first time on another planet, his curiosity was completely normal.

He liked to think he was a decent guy, and knowing he came from horrible people only made the fact he was decent better to him.

"Uh oh." Naruto blinked when Momo suddenly clambered off his shoulders and scurried away from him.

"You're not a monster!" Before he could ask what'd gotten into her though, he got his answer via flying tackle hug curtesy of Lala which knocked him cleanout of his seat and flying down the hall. Everyone else couldn't help but wince as a loud crash rang out a second later followed by the sound of something shattering.

…

"…I'm okay," The blonde called back after a moment, making Kushina sigh in relief before giving Sephie a dubious look as the eldest pinkette smiled sheepishly in apology. "We're gonna clean this up, you guys continue without us."

"You break, you buy!"

"Gah!?" Naruto was shocked and tossed what he was holding in the air. He fumbled with it for a few moments, before he sighed in relief when he caught it. "What is this thing?" Naruto asked Yami, changing the subject.

He had to know, he really did.

'Off Worlders...' The Shop Keeper thought as he turned his head away in annoyance.

Not even knowing about their culture.

"Yeah sure, not like they only just arrived on the planet, racist." Mikan muttered with an eyeroll.

"I don't know... seems like it's Memorzorian tech though, native-" Yami watched as Naruto pressed a button.

*Poof*

"... Well, damn, didn't expect this." Naruto looked down at himself, and found that his body had automatically used the Sexy Jutsu in response to the device releasing a puff of smoke on him. It seemed it was a device that was used to allow the species to change genders more frequently than whatever was normal for them.

…

"Hot damn, I think I just became a lesbian." Momo muttered once she managed to pick her jaw off the ground, shamelessly ogling the now female Naruto on screen.

"He does make a pretty girl." Yami admitted without thinking, equally caught by surprise by the sudden gender swap.

"What I wouldn't do to get her as a model…" Ringo was literally drooling at the prospect, making grabbing motions with her hands as she leaned in toward the TV… before flinching when Kushina slapped the back of her head.

The Shop Keeper seemed confused.

The male off worlder had actually transformed into a female version of himself? Strange, since that device was only suppose to work on those who had both male and female forms, to allow them to switch between the two.

'I guess he's a Memorzorian after all, must have been born on a different planet.'

"Do you have Memorzorian..." Yami stopped and palmed her face when she realized that the device had simply caused Naruto's body to use that Sexy Jutsu that Kakashi had told her about. Like the people of the planet, Naruto also had the ability to change his gender at will. There was a puff of smoke, and Naruto returned to his normal form, before he placed the device back down on the shelf. He turned to the Shop Keeper, and gave a sorry wave.

"Honestly, at this point what CANT ninjas from his world do?" It was a serious question but of course nobody had an answer for it.

"Didn't mean to do that, sorry."

"It's okay, accidents happen all the time." The man was a lot nicer than he had been before. Naruto was a little surprised at the different treatment, before he continued to look around the store.

"Lets go to an Inn and recuperate. This planet might not have night, but there are hours where this side of the planet gets cooler. We can travel again when it's cooler." Yami didn't go into the specifics of it, because she knew Naruto didn't care about them. She wasn't going to explain that the distance between the planet, and the two suns, were different. One of the sun's was close enough that it caused the planet to feel hotter, and while the other one still made it hot, it wasn't as hot.

"I hope your other self made sure to pack a lot of sunscreen." Mikan said to Yami, who shook her head.

"No need, I can simply adjust my skin's pigmentation and composition to increase resistance to heat and solar radiation." As she spoke, the transforming blonde suddenly got a deep tan before just as quickly going back to her natural complexion.

"Lucky."

Naruto nodded.

"This stuff is really cool, I really want to look around before training... but you have a point." Naruto walked out of the store, the doors were open air after all. Yami sighed that it was that easy to convince Naruto to go along with their plan. She expected him to argue against her more than that. She walked behind him and watched him to make sure that he didn't get sidetracked again.

He wasn't here to see the sights, he was here to-

"Aaaaaaaaah! Somebody help, Princess Run is trapped by Ulps!"

Everyone aside from Kushina perked up in concern when that familiar name being shouted out by a panicked Memorzian.

"Oh dear…" The queen mumbled in concern.

"I'm guessing that this Run is probably the same one your daughter mentioned earlier?" Kushina asked rhetorically, though she still got several nods from everyone else in the room.

'... Please... we are here for a reason, not for you to be a hero.' Yami really wanted Naruto to leave this to the local peace protectors. She didn't need to look at Naruto, because with her hand over her eyes, she was able to hear his grin. She knew that Naruto was going to do what he must, because she had experienced it herself before. His kind and giving nature. "Naruto..." Yami tried to get his attention.

Nope.

"I'm strong, where is the Princess? I'll go save her!" Naruto called out towards the armed soldier, and chatter started to become audible amongst the people who heard Naruto's declaration.

"Called it." Ringo said with a snort while Kushina sighed in amused exasperation. "How much you wanna bet that a certain princess gets a crush on-"

"Suckers. Bet."

Yami let out a sigh.

"... I'll go to the Inn, find me when you're done. I still need to refuel my ship, and resupply." Yami knew Naruto could handle this alone. He didn't need her help, and it would be best if she got all of her errands done as soon as she could. She couldn't stop him from doing this, just like how Kakashi couldn't stop him from helping her, and didn't even bother trying.

Why bother trying to stop Naruto from playing the part of hero?

He was just going to do it anyway.

"Hey, hold on, it's over already? What the hell?" Ringo grumbled as the screen went back to buffering all of a sudden, leaving them on a cliffhanger. Not only that but a small amount of smoke was slowly wafting from the top of the machine much to everyone's concern.

"Oh brother, stupid thing must be overheating again," Shaking her head, Momo got up from her seat and poked her head out into the hallway. "Lala! The Viewer is on the fritz again!"

"Hang on, I'll fix it in a second, just gotta finish thi-EEP!" The sound of something heavy hitting the ground followed by more shattering glass rang out. "…Oopsie."

-XxxxX-

"Ah… this is nice." Over on a nice peaceful lake, Write and SKU could be found drifting along in a row boat. The former was laying against the side of the boat, legs kicked up while writing something down in his notebook.

Meanwhile, the ever silent white-haired Naruto was dressed in a stereotypical fisherman outfit, complete with hat covered in lures. A fishing pole was held in his hands as he kept his eye on a little orange bobber floating near the center of the water.

Without breaking his gaze he reached over the edge of the boat to pet the living rubber duck he'd gotten from Sephie, which was currently swimming circles around them.

"Hey, I think I got it this time," Sitting up, Writer held his notebook over the silent king's head so he could read, revealing a complex looking set of formulas. "Whatcha think?"

…

Pulling a pen out from… somewhere, SKU scratched out part of the formula before filling it in with another one, making the masked teen groan.

"Ah right, forgot to attribute the concept of Existing Nonexistence vs Nonexistent Existence, my bad."

-End Chapter-