/Temari/
Not even five seconds have passed since the door was slammed in anger and the first tear is already falling uncontrollably, followed by many more and I am drawn to the bed where I lie down in pain. I should never have believed in love again, I was an idiot and now I'm suffering the consequences.
It's all my fault, with my bad luck I should have known something like this would happen, but that doesn't mean it hurts any less. The pain in my chest eats away at my almost broken heart, I became too attached to him in such a short period of time, I think this "separation" with a person who wasn't even my boyfriend is hurting more than the end of my relationship of more than two years.
I know my goal this year was to gain self-love, but right now I feel horrible, I never want to leave this room.
I'm startled by a sudden hug and I try to push it away until I realize it's Tenten, I turn to her to melt into her chest and lose myself crying in the comfort of her embrace.
– Tsuki and I came on a rescue mission! – she says and I stretch out my arm without even looking, receiving affection from the cat.
– Thank you! – is all I say, she knows that just being here helps me a lot – I never want to leave this room! – I admit sadly.
– You don't need to, you have the right and the entire weekend to do so, he was a total idiot! – she stays by my side while I end up in tears.
– I just want to sleep! Wake me up when it's all over. - I say, snuggling into my sheets - All this time I was finding myself, and I didn't know I was lost.
– Don't say something like that. It's not your fault, but I'm going to let you rest and drink water please, I don't want you to dehydrate. Get the sleep you need! - She kisses my forehead and leaves me in the room with Tsuki.
My eyes feel heavy and sleep hits me even though the tears are still flowing.
My weekend is spent on the couch watching drama films to remind me that there are people, even if fictional, who have overcome worse things than what I'm going through.
The rest of my friends suspected something was wrong as early as Saturday. Sasuke and Kiba showed up in the afternoon, surprised to find the Nara at home alone, they questioned him and he didn't hesitate to answer. By choosing me over their housemate, they proved to be the best friends I could have.
On Sunday I was surprised again with all the girls, even Hinata, Sakura and Karui showed up to cheer me up. I'm not going to lie, they made me feel so much better about everything.
I'm ready for this Monday and for classes.
I need a lot of makeup to hide my swollen eyes and I choose clothes that flatter me. If there's one thing I don't want, it's to look like a failure.
The warmer air at the end of April makes me feel lighter after two days stuck at home and I can't stop the smile that starts to form on my lips as I enter college.
– Wow, you look very happy for someone who came to take classes! – Ino grumbles with her usual morning blues.
– I needed to get out of the house, another day of watching cheesy movies and I think I was going crazy!
– I'm glad you're better! You're going to the dance classes soon, right? - she asks, although it sounds more like a threat.
– Of course I will! Until then! - We said goodbye and headed to classes on opposite sides.
The day goes well and ends quickly, luckily I didn't run into Nara, especially because we don't have classes nearby, which makes the process of overcoming something easier for me.
Of course it still hurts a little, ok, a lot. Especially when I'm alone in the shower where I can cry without anyone knowing, but I have the right to do so, at least that's what I tell myself when I go downstairs for dinner.
The dance class this afternoon helped me, but it also brought back some unwanted memories that I was quick to forget.
– I made your favourite! – Ten smiles at me and I raise an eyebrow in her direction.
– Did you cook?! I think my hunger is gone!
– Okay, I ordered your favorite! – she says and sits down at our small table in the kitchen – Do you want to talk about what happened? – she asks cautiously – It's been a few days and you seem more prepared to face whatever the hell happened last Friday. I thought they had made up!
– I thought so too! - I say with a sigh – But when he saw me with Lee he had a jealous attack, his anger didn't bring back good memories and we realized that we are too different to work out! I should have seen this from the beginning. - I admit with regret in my voice.
– If he hurt you, you were right to walk away, but, honestly, he was good for you, he made you forget your problems and, above all, he made you happy, like you hadn't been for some time. I'm sorry it ended with such a stupid thing. - she takes my hand across the table in an attempt to comfort me after this bucket of truth that she dumped on me.
– Me too! – it's difficult to contain the tears but I put on my best smile and try to change the subject – And your love life isn't disastrous, how is it?
– Great, I'm glad you asked. Neji is sweet, I didn't believe in soulmates, but now, I even question that possibility... - she continues talking and I'm genuinely happy for her, I want the best for my best friend, and Neji seems to be close to that, at least enough to entrust him with the role of boyfriend of the best human being on earth.
The rest of the night remains calm and joyful, along with the rest of the week.
On Wednesday I gained the courage to tell my brothers that I was no longer seeing Shikamaru and that we were no longer close, after Kankuro asked if everything was ok with my "non-boyfriend". They reacted much better than I expected and I'm glad they didn't put too much pressure on me about it.
At this moment our mother's condition worries them more, they tell me that they're afraid of leaving her alone and sleep close to her so that she doesn't feel so alone. It breaks my heart to know that she is like this, a person thinks that as the years go by she forgets the pain, but love is stronger than that.
Knowing that my parents still love each other, but they are miles away, gives me an inexplicable weight in my chest, even more so knowing that I'm not close to either of them.
Now that it's Friday I'm on my way to my class, today is the last day of the choreography and I'm loving what we've done so far.
– Good afternoon! – I say happily when I see Shino at the counter.
- Welcome! I'm glad to see you so happy after this weekend!
– News travels fast around here! – I say with a bit of disdain.
– Sorry, Karui is a gossip! – he admits embarrassedly.
– It doesn't matter, but it wasn't anything serious, it's already in the past! - I say, even though I know it's not the purest of truths, but I'm coping better than I thought, every day hurts a little less.
– Good class! – he says smiling.
I followed the path to the locker room to put down the bag and Tamaki and Ino were already there.
– Hi Tema! – the blonde says with a very happy face.
– What happened to you today? - I ask, confused by her good mood.
– Nothing, just the love that's in the air! – Tamaki and I rolled our eyes at her state of love – Sorry, it can't be easy to talk about that! – she says regretfully and surprises me.
– It's just not easy to put up with yourself in that state, but that's been the case forever.
– But with everything that happened...- she leaves the phrase midway.
– You don't need to treat me differently just because of what happened, okay?! I've been through worse and survived, let's go to class, the sooner this conversation ends the better. - before we go, they look at each other with a look of pity and come with me.
Even though I love having friends who care about me, having them treat me like a fragile piece only makes things harder. And now that I think about it, I've been getting special treatment all week. I think it would be easier to carry on with my life as if it were nothing, but they always remind me of the sadness that I'm trying to keep in a closed drawer in my subconscious.
Dancing brightens my spirit with its happy rhythm and I feel sad when the class ends, this was one of those days when I could enjoy the music all night without getting tired.
Tenten, Anko and I walked home, the pleasant spring weather began to warm the nights and lengthen the days, making our walk light and joyful.
– Thank you for not changing the way you talk to me, I feel like everyone treats me like I'm about to tear myself apart! - I say to Ten when we were already preparing dinner.
– I know you, I know that's not what you want! But I'm also afraid, I know that deep down this affects you and you don't need to hide it. We all know that you are strong and that you will endure, it's just that we love you too much to ignore you. Do you understand? - she asks with a look full of concern.
– I understand, but it would be easier if everyone ignored what happened. - I admit frustrated.
– You can't forget the past, you have to learn to live with it! - she holds my hand while speaking in an attempt to convey calm.
– I think you're right! – sigh – I really have bad luck in these things.
– Your prince on a white horse is about to arrive! - she smiles.
– If that doesn't happen, I'll kidnap Tsuki to start my unhealthy obsession with cats.
– I'll never let you! I'm going to put you on a dating site so you don't hurt him.
– I hope it doesn't come to that. All I wanted was to be happy alone, but the opposite sex loves to ruin my plans.
– Deep down, we hoped that this time it would work. We were scared at first, but you seemed so happy together! - she says sadly, unable to keep her gaze locked on mine.
– The universe didn't want it! – I say sadly.
We continued the conversation for a while longer until we each went to our own room.
I don't know if that was the smartest idea. This room is full of memories and, after poking at such a sensitive subject, it feels like the walls are suffocating me. I just hope I can sleep tonight.
Saturday morning lets me sleep late, especially because I only fell asleep at dawn. When I go downstairs, around lunch time, the house is empty and a small piece of paper is stuck to the fridge with a magnet that says "I went out with Neji, see you later, I want you to look pretty so we're going out to dinner with the girls, kisses Ten." I sighed with a smile, I think dinner out will be what I need, I just hope my ex-boyfriends don't irritate me, we have many other matters to deal with.
I ate the food Tenten ordered for me from the Italian restaurant, she chose my favourite so I sent her a message to thank her. In response, she reminded me of dinner and I assured her that I would go with her.
I spent most of the afternoon lying on the couch with Tsuki, I don't feel like going to college so I spent this day off, tomorrow I'll work a bit.
After a quick snack I go to my room to choose the best "revenge clothes", if I'm going out I'm going to look my best.
An hour later, I'm already dressed in my tight black skirt and my long-sleeved blouse in light tones, I couldn't choose something so revealing, after all it's just dinner. However, the state of my room leaves me regretting this decision, I have a bed full of clothes and I have no desire to tidy it up. But I have no excuses, my hair and makeup are already done, it never takes me long to do my waves and simple makeup with red lipstick.
I sigh before starting to tidy up. I still have half an hour until Tenten comes back so we can go together. Luckily, I don't have that many clothes, even with the renovation I did to my closet after breaking up with Daimaru for good, so it only takes me fifteen minutes to tidy up, after which I can put on my high heels and go back to the sofa.
Shortly after, the doorbell rings and I let Hina rush in after waving my hand at Neji's car to follow.
– Good afternoon, just give me fifteen minutes and we'll be out. And you're going to have to take the car, I injured my wrist! - I give her a look of disdain when she speaks.
– Tenten, you know I don't like driving! And I don't even want to know how you hurt your wrist. - I get angry.
– It was bowling! Your pervert! And I know you don't like it, but it's just this once, you have to practice. - I sigh and nod my head so she can get dressed.
When we get into the car I sigh again, but this time to try to gain courage. You can do it Temari! I say to myself as I start the car.
I already knew the restaurant so it wasn't too difficult to get there. As expected, we were last because Ten's fifteen minutes are never really fifteen.
– Good evening, the delay was worth it, you look beautiful! – Ino welcomes us with a hug and we follow the table hugging the others.
– It's great that we're all here! – Hinata says.
– Yes, it seems like we don't even have time to be together. – Sakura agrees.
– But let's not talk about that now! I want the gossip. - Rin says with her smile and we all laugh in response.
The food was great and the conversation started well. They all talked about their lives and seemed very happy even with the small problems. Little by little everything is getting back on track for them and that makes me happy.
– So what about you Tema, are you better now? – Tenten asks cautiously after they exchanged regretful looks that made me realize why I was here.
– It only hurt me the first few days, I thought it would be worse, but my heart is already a little numb. - I say and try to ignore my instinct that this is an attempt at a therapy session.
– Tem, we are your friends, you can tell us everything! – Tamaki says carefully.
– Why do you find it so difficult to believe in me? You've spent the last few days treating me like I was miserable. But you don't need to, seriously, I'm already over it and you should be too! - I say frustrated.
– We saw the way you looked at each other, we think you're lying to yourself so you don't get hurt! – Karui says in her best mother voice.
– So what if it is? It's my problem! I know you care, but I don't need all this treatment, maybe it will be easier to forget if you don't remind me every day that I should be crying heartlessly over some idiot. - I speak with my tone getting louder in frustration.
– We just wanted to open your eyes, sorry! - Sakura says sadly.
– Don't worry, can we just move forward? I think I lost my appetite for dessert! - I calm down.
The rest of the dinner passed almost in silence, I think I ruined the whole atmosphere. The conversation became calmer and simpler and I barely spoke, just paid attention to what they were saying.
We split the bill between everyone without much insistence and got ready to go back to our homes.
– I apologize for the way I reacted! – I say outside – You have the right to be worried, but it's a bit difficult for me to be treated like that.
– We are the ones who should apologize, it's your problem! – Ino says with a sad face that I rarely see on her.
– It's ok, but now let's move on, I'll wait for you on Monday for another class! – Karui puts a smile on our faces again and we say goodbye one last time.
We get back to the car, and I realize that I had already forgotten that I would have to drive again with all this talking. I'm mentally exhausted, but the trip is short. I start the engine and start driving at a calm level.
– You were right to apologize, I know it's difficult to admit that you're sad! - Tenten says next to me.
– I didn't apologize for that, I apologized because I didn't react in the best way to your concern, I don't feel sad.- I respond and tighten my grip on the steering wheel.
– Oh come on, don't lie to me Temari, I know you're sad and knowing you, you'll get over this and you'll be back with Shikamaru soon. You love each other. - she insists and tests my patience once again.
– I don't love him at all and I'm not going back to him! – I shout towards him the frustrations that afflict me – Do you think I'm that stupid to...
– Temari, be careful! – she shouts and when I pay attention to the road again I am hit by a flash and then, everything goes black and an insistent buzzing disturbs my throbbing head.