TW: Mentions of rape

Monday, June 29, 1998

"It's still so weird to see an older version of you and Sirius walking around. That and seeing James and Harry running around together." Lily said quietly, as she sat next to Remus on the couch as he watched Harry, James, and Sirius sitting on the floor, laughing at a story Sirius had been telling about James trying to sneak into the girls' dormitories in yet another failed attempt to get Lily's attention.

Remus looked over at her to see her watching the older versions of Sirius and himself talking quietly on the other sofa across the room. Remus studied his older self. He was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and looking back toward Sirius, so Remus wasn't able to see his face. Sirius, however, raised his eyebrows at whatever Remus had been saying and made a face before shrugging.

Remus tried hard to read Sirius' lips as he answered Remus. "You should do it right, I can help if you would like." But he couldn't be sure. He wondered if they were talking about Hermione.

Remus let his head hang for a few seconds before he stood up and made an indication with his hands for Sirius to lead the way. Sirius broke out into a huge grin as he stood up and made his way out of the room, touching the top of Harry's head affectionately as he walked by.

"Yeah, it's a bit weird," Remus affirmed when he realized he hadn't answered Lily.

Ron walked in and sat down on the loveseat next to Ginny, who was writing in her little binder. It seemed to be the only thing the girls (except a few; Fleur, Hermione, and Lily being among them) focused on at the moment but given what he had heard about what they have had to deal with in the past few years, they deserve to focus on frivolous things like weddings and such.

"What's up with Hermione?" Ron asked, nudging Harry in the back with his foot.

Hermione was an enigma to Remus. After being around her for a little over a week and how much the others (especially Harry) had spoken of her before he actually met her, Remus was beginning to see why everyone was so hellbent on the older version of himself marrying her. If he ever looked for someone to marry, which apparently happens because of a freaking marriage law, she was an excellent example of what he would look for.

"Not sure. Why?" Harry looked up from his spot at Ron's feet.

"She's being weird," Ron said with a confused look on his face.

Ginny arched an eyebrow in his direction, looking at him rather skeptically. "How so?"

"She's being quiet. I tried everything, and she just kept humming little responses. I even brought up the house elf conflict at Hogwarts. Nothing." Ron's voice became more exasperated the more he spoke.

Harry's neck turned back to Ron so fast, that Remus was sure he had heard it crack.

"What did you do, Ron?" Harry exclaimed.

"Nothing." Ron said, throwing his hands up in the air, before sheepishly saying, "I don't think I did at least."

As Ron and Harry went back and forth, Ginny stiffened, a look of realization slowly washed over her face, followed by what Remus could only imagine would be considered horror.

"Ginny, are you ok?" Lily asked.

Harry's attention snapped to Ginny, and she turned toward him with wide eyes and whispered, "Oh no."

"What happened?" James asked.

"She was fine when we were cleaning up after breakfast. We were talking, you know, Tonks, Fleur, and me about…" She dragged the word out before pressing her lips together and furrowing her eyebrows. "Ummm. Wedding night activities, to put it mildly."

"You were talking about our sex life in front of Hermione?!" Harry looked horror-struck.

"Well yeah. It wouldn't be the first time." Ginny said as if it were obvious. "But then Fleur made a comment about Hermione finally being able to actually enjoy…" Her voice faded away as her gaze slid across the room to Remus. She pressed her lips into a thin line before pulling her bottom lip through her teeth and chewing on it, her eyes sliding back to Harry.

"Seriously, Gin," Harry exclaimed, standing from the floor and heading towards the door, on a clear mission to find Hermione.

"Are you going to talk to Hermione about sex?" Ron called with a wicked grin on his face.

Harry froze before turning back to the group, his face turning a bright shade of red. "No."

"Why can't you talk to her about sex?" Sirius asked, looking befuddled.

"She's like my sister. Love her to death, but it's a topic I never want to talk about with her." Harry said, shifting his weight from one side to the other uncomfortably.

"But why would the conversation this morning bother her? It's just girls gossiping." James said.

The tension grew thick within the room, so much so that Remus could swear it was more difficult to breathe. Harry, Ginny, and Ron exchanged looks, and the silence seemed to stretch on.

"What is it?" Remus asked, curiosity surging through his body.

"So, it's been mentioned a time or two that Hermione went through some severe torture towards the end of the war, right?" Harry started, so slowly Remus struggled to follow but nodded an affirmative to Harry's question.

"Well, part of her torture she was…" Harry's slow thought came to a halt as if the words were stuck in the back of his throat. He started to look rather emotional. He looked at Ron and then at Ginny, clearly looking for assistance.

"When Hermione wouldn't give Bellatrix the information she wanted, Bellatrix gave Hermione to Greyback, a reward, so to speak, and he umm… well- he took advantage of the situation. I'm sure that is what Bellatrix wanted. Sure, it would break Hermione. Hermione has only ever kissed a guy, so now she's kind of terrified of having sex." Ginny explained quietly. Her eyes were downcast as she held her binder close to her chest and played with a loose thread on her jeans.

Remus' stomach churned violently, sure he would lose his lunch soon. He took several deep breaths through his nose, a trick he learned can help sometimes when he is feeling nauseous, a trick he had discovered in potions.

"Greyback raped her?" Sirius asked in a whisper, looking at Remus, horror-struck. The air left Remus' lungs in one fell swoop.

There was no verbal answer, but the three of them each nodded their heads.

"I'll go talk to her," Ginny said as she stood up, walking over to her fiancée and kissing him on the cheek before patting the side of his face. "She'll be ok."

Remus watched Ginny walk from the room. Harry looked at James and Lily, his face unreadable before he nearly ran from the room.

Ron sat on the couch and stared after his best friend before dropping his gaze to his lap.

The silence was unbearable, and Remus felt like he was suffocating. When he was sure the edges of his vision were turning black from the lack of oxygen, Ron looked up at them.

"Harry blames himself. Bellatrix only asked three questions over and over again, but Hermione never faltered, never gave in. She's a badass like that.

"One of those questions was 'Where is Harry Potter?' And even though they had him in the dungeons, Hermione had hit him in the face with a stinging jinx. He was a bit hard for me to recognize, let alone that lot. I'm not sure whose screams haunt me the most. Hermione's as she was being tortured or Harry's screams of 'I'm right here.'" Ron explained quietly.

Remus' heart thundered in his chest. It felt similar to the start of his transformations. A tear fell from Lily's cheek as she reached over and squeezed Remus' hand. James looked at the floor, and Sirius looked at Remus, perturbed.

It felt like hours before anyone said anything, but when James whispered a question, it sounded thunderous.

"Whatever happened to Greyback?"

"Hermione killed him during the Final Battle. He was about to attack Lavender, and she ran him clean through with the Sword of Gryffindor, Luna said she looked like Athena, and she did through the whole battle. Her hair falling out of her braid, blood and dirt caked to her, with an expression that said 'Fuck with me, I dare you.' She was in complete shock afterward." Ron said the corner of his lip quirked up.

"But why does she have to sleep with Remus? It's clearly not a relationship kind of thing." Sirius asked.

Ron shrugged. "He stayed awake every night after Malfoy Manor, watching over her. He was there, every time she woke up screaming. Harry asked why he always volunteered and he said that he should have dealt with Greyback a long time ago.

"So that's how she slept until the Final Battle. After that, we all came back here to sleep after being awake for so long. She found that she couldn't sleep unless she was with him. Up until a few days before their trip to Australia, she would go to bed in the room she shared with Ginny but every single night she would sneak up to his room."

"What about dreamless sleep potion or dreamless draught?" Lily asked. Remus turned expectantly to Ron.

"Fifth year, we managed to get ourselves caught in a bad duel against several Death Eaters and Hermione got hit with a pretty dark curse. She was in the hospital wing for days and when she got out she still had to take an insane amount of potions, like two or three times a day.

"The first few days after giving her sleep potions Madame Pomfrey had a difficult time waking her but by the time Madame Pomfrey decided it wasn't worth the risk and took her off the potion, only to find out Hermione's body had already declared it a necessity. She couldn't sleep without it, so Madame Pomfrey had to wean her off of them. Hermione doesn't want to risk it and go through all of that again."

Harry walked in before anyone could say anything else. He looked rather pale yet his cheeks were flushed and Remus picked up the faintest scent of vomit. He clapped his hands cheerfully.

"Who wants to play some exploding snap?"

~

Ginny wandered into the study, taking a seat in the armchair close to where Hermione was sitting at one of the desks writing a letter to her parents. They had sent one saying that they were looking for properties back in London and would be in the country this weekend to see a few their realtor had picked out. They were making preparations to move back, wanting to make the transition as quick as possible so her mom could help her plan the wedding.

"Are you ok?" Ginny asked quietly, picking up a random quill from the desk and fiddling with it.

"I'm fine." But Hermione could hear the strain in her voice, knowing Ginny would pick up on it.

"Mhmm. Keep telling yourself that. Even Ron picked up on it and that's not one of his general talents. He said you're being uncharacteristically quiet."

Hermione looked up at Ginny and then back down at her letter, taking a few deep, but subtle, breaths. She had been anxious most of the morning and had been unable to shake it.

"Want to talk about it?" Ginny asked, gently poking the quill tip into her opposite index finger.

"What's there to talk about, Gin?" Hermione sighed in frustration.

"Are you scared?"

"I don't know." Hermione shrugged, putting her quill down and turning to face her friend.

Ginny looked up at her questioningly, so she continued.

"I know sex is supposed to be enjoyable and I think about it a fair amount but I'm scared I won't be able to do it, to enjoy it. What if I can't? What if I can't just get past it?" Hermione cradled her head in her arms resting on the desk, humiliation staining her cheeks red.

Ginny stared at her sympathetically.

"I've never been in your situation, so this is just my thoughts and I don't want to upset you, so if I do please let me know." Ginny paused before speaking slowly, attempting to choose her words as cautiously as she was able. "I think a lot of it will depend on who you do it with. How you do it. Like if you ever do it on the rougher side, that may be a bit upsetting. But I don't believe psyching yourself out about it will help much either. Most likely, hopefully, after the first time, it will be easier, and less nerves. I think maybe the thought of doing it is the worst part."

Hermione had turned her head watching Ginny carefully as she gave her opinion, weighing each word like she would during one of her professors' lectures.

She swallowed thickly and whispered, "I kind of thought the same thing. One night in Australia, I asked Remus to have sex with me, you know just to get it over with." Ginny's eyes grew big and Hermione knew if she mentioned it to her Ginny would vehemently deny it but she got that giddy look in her eye that the girls get when there was gossip to be heard, it made Hermione grin a bit.

"I told him that I wanted to do it with him or I would go to a club and find a stranger because I knew if it was with Remus and I freaked out he would understand and if it was a stranger in Australia, I'd likely never see him again so that would save me the embarrassment. But he convinced me not to." Hermione explained.

"He turned you down?" Ginny exclaimed, a bit louder than Hermione was comfortable with, her eyes widening as her eyebrows raised and she gave Ginny a look that clearly asked if she was crazy.

"Sorry. He turned you down?" She said in a loud whisper. When Hermione nodded, Ginny continued, "I need proof that Remus is straight. How does he turn down someone who is half his age and already in his bed?"

Hermione quirked an eyebrow at her. "Respect, maybe? He said I was worth more than a one-night stand or ruining our friendship."

"Oh Merlin, that man knows how to melt a heart." Ginny gushed, putting her hand over her heart causing Hermione to roll her eyes and Ginny laughed at her reaction.

The girls sat in silence for a while, Ginny watching Hermione finish her letter. As Hermione sealed the envelope, she could feel Ginny start to bubble with giddiness, and out of the corner of her eye, she could see Ginny's grin steadily grow.

"What?" Hermione asked, once again turning to her redheaded friend.

"He was a gentleman about it but he still gets to have sex with you." Ginny giggled uncontrollably.

"Oh my God," Hermione muttered under her breath but couldn't fight it as the corner of her lips turned up and she giggled along with her.

Once the laughing died down Ginny's face turned curious. "So you think about sex a lot, huh? Wouldn't be happening in a certain bed with a… what was it I once called him… oh yeah, roguishly handsome ex-professor, would it?"

Hermione's whole face burned and she pressed her lips into a thin line. "You are impossible sometimes."

"Well?" Ginny dragged the word out.

"Yes, and Moony doesn't exactly help matters around the full moon," Hermione muttered quietly, more to herself.

"Excuse me?" Ginny gasped, scooting to the edge of her seat.

Hermione shrugged it off, foolishly hoping she didn't have to explain herself.

"Oh no, you don't get to shrug that shit off like it's nothing. What are you talking about?"

"Well the days leading up to the last full moon, there were a couple moments that Moony seemed a bit umm… incited."

Ginny motioned for her to continue and Hermione couldn't help the cringe that shuttered through her body.

"One night, he put a pillow between the two of us, which was weird because he'd never done that before. But he kept tossing and turning, nudging me with the pillow so I threw it on the floor. As soon as I did he pulled me into his chest and I felt the possible reasoning behind the pillow." Hermione explained, completely abashed.

Ginny, however, was bouncing on the edge of her seat. "Which was?"

Hermione groaned, putting her face in her hands causing her voice to come out muffled. "What do you think, Ginerva?"

Hermione decided that cluelessness did not look good on Ginny, seeing as she pretended to not have an idea of what Hermione was hinting at.

"He- his- damn it, Gin. His penis was hard and pressed against my leg." Hermione splattered quietly, praying to whatever God or even Merlin himself to have the Earth come up and swallow her whole as Ginny roared with laughter.

~

As everyone sat down for dinner, Kingsley and Minerva walked into the room. Kingsley's presence wasn't uncommon a few times a week, Minerva's was unexpected but everyone made room for the newly appointed Headmistress. Before she sat down, however, she handed Remus a scroll with a Hogwarts seal on it.

Remus looked from the scroll up to Minerva and then to Kingsley, neither of which gave anything away. However, his best friend's massive grin did not go unnoticed.

Remus opened up the scroll slowly.

Dear Mr. Lupin,

We are pleased to offer you the chance to reestablish your position as Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizarding.

Term begins 1 September. We await your reply by no later than 31 July.

Yours Sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Headmistress

Remus read the letter again before looking up at Kingsley and Minerva, dumbfounded. "I don't understand."

"What's there to understand? I wrote it fairly plain." Minerva said.

"Hogwarts needs a Defense teacher. I compiled a rather large group of your old students. Not these ones, of course, favoritism and whatnot. There was an astounding number who supported the decision to have you teach again. With their help and a bit of persuasion, the Wizengamot and the remaining board members agreed you were best suited for the job." Kingsley explained.

"But what about my absences around the moon?"

"Well pending your acceptance of the position, Sirius, has agreed to take over as your assistant. He will cover any time that you would need off." Minerva said.

Remus looked over to the older Sirius, whose smile was so big, that Remus swore his face was about to split in two. Hermione nodded to the letter in Remus' hand and he handed it over to her. Which brought another problem to his mind.

"Last year's seventh years are going back to school this year, correct?"

"They will be eighth years," Minerva confirmed.

"I'll be my wife's professor?" Remus asked incredulously, looking over at Hermione who tried to hide her smile behind the letter but wasn't able to hide the gentle blush that crept across her cheeks.

"Yeah, 'cause you know she isn't going to drop Defense." George joked from his spot next to Bill.

"Speaking of favoritism and whatnot." Fred echoed Kingsley's words from earlier.

"I couldn't imagine, George. That's another aspect Sirius will be covering as your assistant. She will take class with the rest of the eighth years and you will lead lectures and assign homework but grading her assignments or critiquing her wand work and such will be Sirius' responsibility." Kingsley explained watching Hermione with a sly grin.

"So I just need a written acceptance from you and everything else should be taken care of. Formalities and such." Minerva gestured to the letter as Hermione passed the letter to Lily.

Remus was stunned, not sure what to say as he looked around the room at the faces of his friends, speechless. His younger self looked dumbfounded but his parents were beaming, their pride shining like a lighthouse on a darkened shore. When his gaze landed on Sirius who sat beside him, Sirius gripped his jaw, the same way he had when Remus had punched him, before subtly nodding to Hermione.

Remus got the message. He could no longer say he was unable to support his family.

Remus got his job back! Yay!! Which may make for a few fun chapters later.

Thank you all for your support throughout this story and I'm happy you are enjoying! You're enthusiasm keeps me going!

-Jade