Shouta Aizawa

After receiving a phone call from the nearest hospital that debriefed Todoroki's condition in the hospital, Aizawa had left the papers and uncapped red pen on his desk as a distant memory. Breathlessly stumbling into Todoroki's hospital room, his eyes pulsated with a hazy white.

"Todoroki, are you all right?" panted Aizawa, who sat in a black, metal chair beside Todoroki.

Todoroki nodded, but his skin had been like fleece beaten until it was smooth, his arms were veiled by three white blankets cocooning his body, and a few tubes led into those blankets. "Yeah," he replied, unenthused.

Aizawa raised a brow. "How were you stabbed? I wasn't provided with that information." His heart continued to thrash in his chest.

"I won't get into it, but my boyfriend stabbed me and then killed himself." Todoroki's coarse, lackadaisical voice clamped Aizawa's lungs into a vice.

And Bakugou informed me that Higoro was the only other person you were friends with when all of this began, Aizawa realized, taking a moment to breathe in silence. By the time I found out, it was too late. You deliberately led us all down a windy path, likely never believing our paths would all cross. Rui Higoro, a former participant in an entrance exam at U.A. a few years ago. One high school student who hoped to get into U.A. did this to Todoroki? And Todoroki refused to tell anyone? I suppose this is why Yamada urges me to sleep more.

Exhaling sharply, Aizawa gazed up from his knees, meeting Todoroki's dull eyes. "And you're certain you're all right after that?" His blood stirred around his nerves when Todoroki nodded without vacillating. "Were you present when he killed himself?"

Without batting an eye, Todoroki nodded, and in a monotone cadence, he sighed, "Yeah. He stabbed himself in the stomach. Twice, actually. He threatened to kill me if I did anything, so I waited for him to stop breathing before I grabbed my phone." He lifted his hands from the sea of blankets, splaying his fingers.

It doesn't sound like such a horrific event disturbed him in the slightest. Aizawa unconsciously furrowed his brows. It's traumatizing to see someone die in front of you, and no less in a bloody way like that. Not to mention Higoro was his significant other. His phlegm is incredibly unsettling.

"Was that experience… How did you feel during it?"

Has he been through something like this before? Aizawa wondered while Todoroki tilted his head. This is highly concerning. I'm inclined to believe it's due to the shock of what happened still lingering, dissociation, and severe depression.

"I'm not really sure," Todoroki finally answered. "It doesn't feel real." His eyes zigzagged to the nurse who had entered the room, and when instructed to lift his arm to check his blood pressure, he reluctantly complied.

Aizawa could not forget the warzone of countless scars devouring Todoroki's left arm. He could remember how his chest squeezed into a marble, and how his pulse flushed a hot yet frigid wave of pain through his core.

I'd known, but truly taking in the undeniable proof that one of my students has been struggling severely with self-harm… 'It doesn't feel real.' I certainly wish this wasn't real. Has he deceived himself into believing it must not have been real?

The following day, Aizawa visited Todoroki again. He'd been informed that Todoroki had been set up with a therapist, and although Aizawa had inquired as to how Higoro treated Todoroki, the responses he received were either general or ambiguous. Aizawa had also asked why Todoroki hadn't chosen a close family member for the hospital to contact, and Todoroki replied that Aizawa was the first person to come to mind.

While at U.A., Aizawa ensured that he visited Bakugou twice daily for the next week. He could recall his first encounter with Bakugou on the day of the incident:

Stepping into Bakugou and Todoroki's apartment, Aizawa immediately detected the familiar yet foreign odor of smoke in the air. Bakugou's eyes bore the weight of countless missed hours of sleep, and yet, much to Aizawa's dejection, Bakugou's eyes were also swollen and tinged with red.

I'll save the ridicule for later, Aizawa sighed to himself while Bakugou sank into the couch in the living room.

"I'd imagine this is incredibly stressful for you," Aizawa said.

Bakugou crossed his arms. "It's whatever," he grumbled, but his shoulders visibly trembled.

Aizawa reached into his black bag and fished out the most recent assignment Bakugou had submitted. "If that's the case, would you like to explain why you turned in this blank assignment today?" He pointed to Bakugou's name at the top of the paper.

"I don't know," muttered Bakugou, who cracked his knuckles.

"Certainly you must have thought about the fact that you were turning in a blank paper."

"I just!" Bakugou grit his teeth, forcing out a long, hefty breath through his teeth. "It doesn't matter. Icyhot's not my problem. Tch. The way he doesn't give a shit about anything gets on my nerves, though."

Aizawa raised a brow. "Why is that?"

Lowering his head, Bakugou clawed into the jeans covering his knees. "Why am I the one who gets pissed about the things he should be pissed over? He's changed so damn much, and I don't know who the hell he is anymore."

"I'd like to think that that indicates you still care about him. However, I don't want to see you turn to substance abuse, Bakugou. I'd also like to request that you eat something before I leave."

Bakugou closed his eyes. "Then what am I supposed to do?" His lour rippled with vitriol. "What am I supposed to do when nothing is enough?"

"I think we need to discuss a plan for therapy, then. If nothing else is working, and what you do use still isn't enough, I can't allow this to continue."

Before Aizawa could fathom that his grueling week of surviving on naps and instant noodles had come to an end, he once again found himself at Bakugou and Todoroki's apartment. Todoroki had finished his day's worth of questioning and interviews regarding the suicide of Rui Higoro, and Aizawa had requested to have a check-in with both Todoroki and Bakugoh present. Thus, the three sat in silence in the living room peppered with the residual odor of smoke until Aizawa cleared his throat.

"For the next few weeks, I'll continue to extend the due dates on your assignments," Aizawa said while glancing over at his students who were seated next to each other on the couch. "I'm also going to leave a paper here with some help lines, and I'll send an email with the resources as well." He nodded firmly, rummaging through a folder in his bag and placing a sheet of paper with handwritten notes on the table. "Is there anything else I can do to ease some of the stress from this?"

Todoroki shook his head, and Bakugou shrugged.

Aizawa let out a silent sigh. "I see. How are you both feeling right now?"

For quite a few seconds, the room was adrift in the tide of silence.

"Tired from the questioning," Todoroki admitted, leaning back against the couch.

"Did they tell you about the last conversation that dickhead had before he told you to go over?" asked Bakugou with narrowed eyes.

Todoroki nodded. "Yeah. The argument with his mom. He never told me about it. If I'd known, I'm sure I could've prevented this." He yawned, closing his eyes.

"The hell would you have done if you knew? Like you could've predicted that he'd fucking stab you and them himself."

Parting his eyelids ever so slightly, Todoroki sighed, "Protect him from himself."

Aizawa leaned forward in his seat. "Did you feel like it was your responsibility to 'keep him stable,' for lack of a better phrase?"

Todoroki shrugged. "I don't know. But like I said when I was interviewed, don't just look at what happened to me. Look at what led him to become the person he was. I think he at least has that right: for his story to be known, even if it can't justify anything he did—it just explains why he did it. I think, by knowing that, you get a better picture of red flags, what to avoid, and maybe have a better grasp of how much influence you can have over someone. Outcomes like this don't have to happen, I don't think. I don't want his story known for any pity to be put on him or for any justification for his twisted actions to take place. I want people to know so they don't create more people like him.

"So they can help people avoid turning into people like him. So they see what can cause a person to commit acts like he did. But I have to wonder if I'm relying too much on people not being on the side of the spectrum where they think committing an awful crime is justified if you suffered first, or the other end where they refuse to acknowledge that these people had a story that explained their terrible actions. But I chose not to disclose any of the damages he did aside from stabbing me to try and minimize the chance that someone else would see the long list of things Rui did, empathize with his past, and follow in his footsteps."

Shaking his head, Bakugou ignited the flames to his scowl. "You told me he isn't inhuman, but what the hell makes any of what he did still human to you?! You're trying to humanize a fucking animal! I don't care that he had issues, 'cuz it won't ever excuse the fucked up things he chose to do! And this wasn't some gray case of self-defense or something. No, this was unjustified in every fucking way you look at it!" His teeth tore through the gap between his lips.

"You're right: it won't excuse what he did," Todoroki conceded. "It won't change the fact that he chose to do what he did. It won't change the past. It won't right any wrongs. But I think it's sadder to ignore the suffering he went through and act as if it never happened. It's easier to hate someone if you only look at their flaws, right? But imagine if I only looked at your flaws. I think you'd be pissed if I refused to acknowledge your hardships that probably created most of those flaws. It was also other humans who subjected Rui to the things he suffered that led to the bad things he did. Are they animals too?"

Bakugou spat, "Tch. It's still not changing my mind. That fucker doesn't deserve any pieces of redemption. Bet the people who 'hurt' him didn't even hurt him all that much, and he just wanted any validation he could scrape for in his fucked up head to pull the shit he did. Probably just a pathetic piece of shit that couldn't take a little bit of criticism and tough love. Whatever, 'cuz I'm clearly not gonna change your mind, either. Siding with the fucking animal over me…" He shook his head.

Todoroki tilted his head, offering Bakugou an inquisitive look. "You're doing it again," he replied as Bakugou's brows thrashed at his flesh. "But those are just assumptions. You didn't know him. You never interacted with him. Would you be fine if I went around telling people that you—"

"Don't even wanna hear it," sibilated Bakugou.

"And yet you say all those things about Rui without hesitation?"

"He's fucking dead."

"So, if you die, it'd be fine if I—"

"Will you just shut the fuck up with this bullshit already!?" Bakugou bashed his fist against his knee with narrowed, crimson eyes.

"Let's settle down," uttered Aizawa in a gruff sigh. "I can see where you're both coming from." He observed how Bakugou passed a coruscating glare in Todoroki's direction. "Todoroki, has your family visited you at all?"

Todoroki nodded. "After it was on the news."

A quill of pain scraped at Aizawa's chest, but before he could open his mouth, Bakugou had already voiced the words rumbling in Aizawa's throat. "You didn't fucking tell anyone else you were in the hospital?" Bakugou lunged for Todoroki once the latter shook his head. "Why?!"

"Bakugou." Aizawa utilized the capture cloth around his neck to restrain Bakugou by the waist, but he released Bakugou within a few seconds.

Like a doll injected with an interminable nightmare, Todoroki was paralyzed in place as he stared with empty eyes at the wall. Yet, his lips were thinly parted, and his rapid heartbeat visibly kicked his body. Then, Todoroki slowly slumped down, pressing his lips together and fixing his gaze on his knees.

"I don't…know," whispered Todoroki in a fragile voice like the frost-bitten wing of a butterfly. "But my entire family visited me, and…" He scrunched his eyes closed. "Sorry, I think I need to lie down." Without another word, Todoroki ambled into his room with the soft click of the door.

That's highly concerning, Aizawa cerebrated while Bakugou buried his face into his hands. Not only does he refuse to admit any of Higoro's abuse, but the toll is sinking into him, and it's affecting Bakugou as well. How does one handle a situation like this? The sharp pain in his chest drove deeper into his nerves when Bakugou's back flinched with his stifled gasp.

"Do you still have your therapy session today?" Aizawa inquired in a whisper. "I understand this is incredibly stressful for—"

"Shut up…" muttered a strained, gravelly voice. "What part of this do you 'understand?!' I can't fucking deal with this anymore." Bakugou shot up to his feet, but before he could take another step, Aizawa ensnared Bakugou's wrist with his white, tattered capture cloth. "Oh, so he gets to leave, but you just can't get enough of me, can you?!" His face burned, his eyes were drowned by a translucent veil, and his lips spasmed with unadulterated virulence.

Aizawa shook his head, and in a low voice, he replied, "More than you would think. I've seen a lot in my time." He watched as Bakugou emptied his lungs as though vomiting up all the air. "Take some deep breaths. Think about a calm, comforting place." He remained silent for a few seconds while Bakugou continued to inhale and exhale slowly. "Did you cancel your appointment?" He unraveled the binds of his capture cloth from Bakugou.

"So what if I did…" Dejected and hollow, Bakugou's words no longer fumed with a storm of tempestuous emotions. "I hate it. Last time I went…" He clamped shut his eyes and thumped into the kitchen, yanking open the fridge. "You'll berate me about this anyway, so I'll get it out of the way." He peeled open a tray of sushi and shoved a piece into his mouth with a pair of chopsticks.

What happened last time? Aizawa couldn't help but wonder as Bakugou stuffed another roll of sushi into his mouth. I feel as though asking will yield a typical 'doesn't matter.' But it's imperative he continues seeing a therapist. He can't focus at all in class, I can tell he's intoxicated most of the time, and he's been handing me blank assignments. This is not the Katsuki Bakugou I've come to know. His brows arched when Bakugou continued to promptly devour the tray of sushi like a machine. This is extremely abnormal as well, and frankly, very concerning. I can tell he's full.

"You don't have to eat more than what you're comfortable with," Aizawa assured his student.

Bakugou's eyelids draped down over his crimson eyes. "I ain't putting this back in the fridge," he grumbled after slowly chewing down another sushi roll.

Aizawa stepped into the dining area. "I'd like you to attend your next appointment. More than likely, it will gradually become easier to sit through, but it's a process that takes time, effort, and investment. If you aren't comfortable with your current therapist, though, you can try someone else." He felt his stomach twist when Bakugou swallowed thickly and chewed down yet another sushi roll with furrowed brows. "Bakugou, save the last piece."

Despite Aizawa's words, Bakugou forced his body to stomach the last piece of sushi; he visibly swallowed three more times. "Fine. Whatever," mumbled Bakugou, who tossed the tray in the trash. "I don't half-ass shit I commit to, and it was just one more."

I don't get the impression that you have a healthy relationship with food, Aizawa sighed to himself. I find that Todoroki starves himself as a slow suicide attempt. Bakugou? I'm starting to think he does it as an act of self-hatred. Either eating so little that he's always hungry, or so much that he's nauseated. Despite what he said about Higoro, it seems like the person he treats the most like an animal…

Espying the orange prescription bottle sitting on the kitchen counter, Aizawa remarked, "Before I leave… How did you feel when you found out Higoro committed suicide?" He noted the brief ripple in Bakugou's fierce countenance.

"Glad," Bakugou sighed, rolling back his shoulder. "Sack of shit deserved it. Yeah, partly glad the person Icyhot cheated on me with is gone, but now? I wish the fucker didn't kill himself so he'd be stuck suffering for the rest of his life. He took the easy way out, never had to face the consequences of his actions, and now Icyhot's out here trying to make it sound like he wasn't that bad. Like he deserved to escape his punishments. Like he was never guilty of anything at all, and he was just a broken person, so therefore, it's fine that he committed all this heinous shit. Just thinking about him is boiling my blood all over again." He ground his teeth together.

"Why do you harbor so much resentment for him?"

Bakugou cracked a smirk. "Hah. I ain't in any place to tell you about the shit a dead man did to Icyhot, but it involved me too. Since this ain't just something personal to Icyhot, that fucker's goal was to destroy me through Icyhot. He got what he wanted all right. And even now, when he's dead, he's still kicking me in the nuts. 'You're letting him consume your thoughts.' Yeah, but I'd almost rather stay pissed at him for all eternity if Icyhot won't be. Besides, I see him in everything Icyhot does. I even see him in my memories where he didn't used to exist. Tch. Whatever." His flickering smirk flatlined into a solemn frown, but then, a poignant smile replaced it. "If men just need to 'get over it,' then, y'know what? I will."