Do Not Go Gentle

In times of trouble Hermione found it best to get organized. Sitting on her bed in her room above the Leaky Cauldron she looked down at a list she was compiling. It listed off all possible horcruxes, starting with the diary and diadem, then the cup and locket and also what leads she had to their location. The diadem of course she had still in her keeping but where she would find the others she still did not know.

As she glanced at her list she found herself still crying, though the worst of the tears had passed the night before. Part of her still could not believe she had seen Fred and George once more or that Harry and Ron were dead. It was like a nightmare that played itself in her mind on repeat. The only thing she could do was go over her objectives. A distraction was the best remedy for the heartache.

For one thing she had her first Order meeting to attend later that week, a diadem to destroy for another and more research on Tom Riddle to do. Wiping away the tears she stood up. Going to her trunk she opened it with her wand and reached in to pull out the diadem. Almost immediately the same pull to try it on came over her.

"It's over," she said to herself as she held the delicate object. "I will find a place to take you and cast that spell and this time you will be done for." Putting it down she began to get dressed for the day. In her mind she ran over the spell to cast fiendfyre, the incantation nearly on her lips. She needed a secluded spot to cast the spell in case something went wrong again. Her hand was still scarred from her first failed attempt.

In the end it was a secluded field nearby that served her purpose. She practiced the spell for over an hour and found that her efforts were still weak, part of her frightened to cast a stronger spell for a repeat of the previous attempt. She went back the next day even more determined and had even less luck.

By the time the Order meeting rolled around she still had not destroyed the diadem. She showed up early to the address, the home of a Dorcas Meadowes, a name she vaguely remembered hearing mentioned as an original Order of the Phoenix member. Miss Meadowes it seemed had generously offered the home as an Order headquarters and Dumbledore had accepted. Hermione and Emmeline Vance set out on a Friday evening together to their first Order meeting.

Dorcas Meadowes, a tall black witch of about thirty shook hands with the two younger witches. When inside the home she followed Emmeline to a large living room. A table was settled in the middle with many various chairs of different types around it.

"You are early," she said calmly. "That is fine, the wards tell me whenever someone new arrives. They are also charmed," she added, "to repel anyone in disguise." As the two witches settled in their seats she offered them a drink which was accepted.

Over the next half hour a steady stream of witches and wizards began to trickle in. Some like Professor McGonagall and Hagrid, Hermione already knew, others like Caradoc Dearborn and Benjy Fenwick were very new to her. It was with some sadness that she saw Alice and Frank Longbottom enter. Alice, her round cheerful face looking very like Neville's, settled in a seat next to Hermione. If Hermione had to guess she would imagine the Longbottoms to both be around twenty-five, young and vibrant looking, Alice greeted her and Emmeline cheerfully.

"I understand a lot of young witches and wizards are going to be at this meeting for the first time," she said to Hermione. "You are all welcome of course though I do hope before long that this won't be necessary anymore."

"I agree," Hermione said to her. "It's what we are all hoping for.

Alice gave her a smile reminiscent of Neville and Hermione suppressed a sigh. Another group entered then, James Potter, Lily Evans, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew had all arrived at what was to be their first meeting as well. They settled in chairs across from Hermione and Emmeline. A few more witches and wizards that Hermione knew such as Hestia Jones and Alastor Moody showed up then. Moody was slightly less grizzled looking but still quite forbidding, his gaze alert on the various occupants of the room.

"Could do with some more polish to those wards," he told Dorcas, "Never know who we have here. Could be spies under Polyjuice."

"The wards run a scan on people for disguise charms," Dorcas told him. He nodded approvingly.

"That's a start, still if the Death Eaters want to get in they will. They got a number of new recruits this year I imagine. Could be someone in this room."

"Albus would have thought of that," Elphias Doge said as he entered. "I wouldn't worry so much with him in charge." Moody said nothing to this but he was still grumbling, his gaze wandering over the new arrivals in turn.

Albus Dumbledore's arrival soon after settled everyone down and the meeting began. He started by greeting by name all seven of the newest members, Hermione included. He then gave them an update on Voldemort's activities, including as Moody had already stated, that a number of students upon graduating seemed to have joined him.

Hermione found herself thinking of Avery and Mulciber, who she knew had to be Death Eater's by now and of Severus Snape, and how he had in the future betrayed and killed Dumbledore. She knew that Rosier and Crouch Jr. would be joining him very soon and once again hoped that Regulus would stay firm and be safe in the months ahead.

Albus Dumbledore talked a bit about recently deceased Order members and then delegated tasks. It seemed that some of the Order members were assigned to keep tabs on known Death Eaters, others to tail important ministry officials and make sure they were safe and did not come under control of Voldemort and his followers. Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange were names she heard mentioned more than once as well as Antonin Dolohov, who, Hermione remembered with a shiver, had been the one to curse her in the ministry battle. She still had a scar from where his spell had made contact with her flesh.

"We have no reason to believe that Minister Minchum or Junior Minister Bagnold are under the imperious at the moment though careful surveillance of them remains important," Albus Dumbledore stated.

Frank Longbottom then spoke up. "A problem had arisen involving Bartemius Crouch."

"Yes," Dumbledore nodded to show he was listening.

"The head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement has now authorized the use of unforgivables against those believed to be in league with He Who Must Not be Named." Several sounds of shock and disgust were heard. "He believes it to be fighting fire with fire."

"We disagree on the methods used for this war," Dumbledore replied softly. "I will never ask anyone here to do anything against his or her conscience in the fight ahead. You are all aware of my distaste for the dark arts, I trust all of you to remain true to your own moral compasses." He looked almost tired then as Hermione stared at him.

She remembered Barty Crouch Jr.'s ugly sneers at those not pureblood and Regulus threatening to tell his father on him the previous summer and she wondered exactly how someone could be so blind as his father to not see what was under his own nose.

"His son is probably going to be a death eater," she said softly. She felt the eyes on the table turn towards her. "He hangs around with Evan Rosier. They both are likely planning to when they leave school." Her eyes caught Sirius then and she knew he was thinking the same as her. 'Would he be joining them?' She felt so sure it was now a no but she would love to know it for certain.

"Little can be done beyond tightening security measures around the school to make sure no one can sneak out or back in," Dumbledore informed her. "What they do after they have graduated I have no control over."

Hermione knew this to be true. She also knew that she would fight tooth and nail to keep Regulus from following in his friends footsteps.

The rest of the meeting was fairly straightforward. Hermione listened quietly, wondering if she should take notes. She also observed the various members, including the Longbottoms, who would have among the worst fate of the war and the Prewetts, both of them tall and red-haired and cheerful. Of Marlene McKinnon, who introduced herself to her after the meeting and cheerfully told her that she had graduated a Ravenclaw herself a few years before Hermione had started and was now working in magical transportation. She was introduced to Edgar Bones, who was sharing pictures of his newborn daughter and who would be killed along with his wife and small children in the years ahead.

When it was over she was surprised that Sirius and his friends asked her and Emmeline if they wanted to go for drinks and even more surprised when they without hesitation both said yes. So that was how at one o'clock in the morning she found herself sitting between Sirius Black and Emmeline Vance, Emmeline looking as unflappable as though she hadn't had a number of drinks and Sirius, somewhere in his fifth or sixth drink drunkenly telling her that he appreciated her for all she had done.

"You made a big difference, and it matters," he said as he leaned on her chair. "Bloody prat, never listened to a word I had to say on the subject. Always listening to mummy and daddy about blood purity and such rot."

"I didn't tell him what to do," Hermione told him. "Just gave him a nudge or two mainly."

"A nudge," Sirius let out a bark of a laugh. "You got him to see sense. At least if those gits he is friends with don't turn him wrong again." He frowned and picked up his drink. Hermione watched as he kicked back the amber liquid and called for another. She was only on her second and was aware that he was getting drunker than she was comfortable with. From beside him Pettigrew was slouched on the table, his head on his arms, already gone for the count. Remus Lupin for his part stuck close to James and Lily and barely acknowledged her.

"Just keep at it," Sirius told her, his grey eyes so solemn and so very like his brother's. "Now that he is still in Death Eater Central at school, and you are here you have to keep at it. Can't have him falling back in with the likes of Rosier and Crouch."

"I know," Hermione told him. She took another sip of her drink, grimacing slightly as it slid down her throat.

"Another round," James Potter called. From beside him Lily was matching him shot for shot, her green eyes filled with amusement as she glanced Hermione's way. From beside her Sirius started talking again.

"To hell with them, all the fucking Death Eater wannabes. Can't think for themselves past their pureblood upbringings and all that's been spoon fed to them since birth." He picked up the drink that had just been placed before him and knocked it back.

This was probably the longest time Hermione had ever spent talking to Sirius Black since she had gone back in time. He was as James had said not that hard to figure out. There was anger still bubbling beneath the surface towards his family, a desire all consuming to make a name for himself as far from them as possible. Yet Sirius Black was a person of contradictions, able to fiercely love his friends and fight and if need be die for them, coupled with a cruelty that manifested itself towards those he did not respect.

He leaned forward in his chair, his dark hair falling into his face and she saw that he too had demons even pre-Azkaban. They had their origin in a dark house in London, where he had come to reject all he had been spoon-fed since birth. His hate for all that he had left behind could consume him if he were not careful. He was bright and handsome and brave and even funny when he wanted to be but all of that could be taken, had almost been taken completely from him thanks to Pettigrew and Voldemort.

So many lives taken thanks to Voldemort and when would it end? Almost everyone sitting at this table with her would be dead and in the end they didn't have to be. James and Lily laughing and clinking glasses, Remus giving a rare smile at their antics, Pettigrew jerking awake as his drink spills onto the table in front of him, Sirius thanking her for a brother he barely had a civil word for, Emmeline with her hand on an empty glass, cool and calculating and always unflappable yet with her own losses to deal with so young.

'If I could save you all,' Hermione thinks to herself. 'I would.' Even Pettigrew, who seemed little more than a boy now, a sneaky and at times malicious one, but a boy nonetheless. They all need not have death and misery in their futures. 'Neither should Harry and Ron,' she thought fiercely as she finished her drink. She couldn't tell the Order about the horcruxes, not with the risk of there being a spy but she could destroy the one she had. If she could end this early, maybe they need not all die.

Sirius was laughing now, his moods always prone to fluctuation, and Hermione thought of something Neville had told her about the ministry battle that she had not seen. That Sirius had been laughing when he died. She had been under Dolohov's spell then and had mercifully missed this. Hermione wanted everyone at the table to have reasons in the future to laugh, years ahead to laugh and love and grow. She wanted Harry to have parents who raised him lovingly and Ron to know his uncles and Remus Lupin always to have friends around who loved him. She had to create a new future and fast.

The following day found her back in the same empty place she had last taken the diadem, enchantments in place to keep anyone, wizard or muggle, from wandering in and disturbing her while she concentrated. She could feel the tingle of magic as she thought of her spell and the pull to try it on that almost consumed her during her schooldays. How much did the diadem draw people towards it without a part of Tom Riddle inside of it? Would she hear him if she tried it on, the way Ginny saw his words and Harry saw him take form?

There was magic here that she didn't understand and as is usual when she didn't understand something it infuriated and disturbed her. She remembered Regulus's sneering words to her "Has Perkins been frightened by a little curse or two?" She had the darkest of magic with her now and if not careful it could still consume her.

"Pestis Incendium," she whispered it softly at first and felt her wand heat up and then nothing. She thought of the nightmares the diadem had given her, the deaths she saw but could not prevent in her dreams, of consuming flesh, or burning, or killing those she loved. The diary must have had its pull but even with those horrible dreams before her the pull to try on the diadem, to have access to whatever wisdom it could grant her remained strong.

She gripped her wand until her hand ached, feeling the burning it had unleashed on her the first time and tried again. "Pestis Incendium."

Nothing but the heated feeling was still there, stronger this time. She had done this before, though she knew it could still rebound on her. Shaking her head to remove the fear threatening to come over her, she tried a third time. There were sparks this time and feeling encouraged she tried again, her thoughts on her friends sitting there drinking and living on borrowed time. There were more sparks this time and then a brief flame. She thought of Regulus and how his time would surely be up if he had chosen to go back to his Death Eater friends.

Something was there, she just had to get a hold of it. Next came Fred and George coming to get her, gently breaking the terrible news that Harry and Ron were no more. Hermione looked at the diadem with disgust.

"This," she said firmly, "Is for Harry and Ron." A flame finally, weak at first but growing stronger and taking shape. In her mind she could see them as they were and imagine them as they had been, brave and true to the last. Tears in her eyes, she said the incantation once more and then added again for good measure. "For Harry and Ron!"

The flame came strong and engulfed the horcrux, for a moment it burned, then began to melt and as it did a shriek came from it as though from a dying throat. Hermione, mesmerized, had sense enough to cancel the spell and call back the flames before they spread. On the ground now lay a twisted bit of metal all melted down and very much not resembling the diadem she had been taunted by for so many months.

For a moment she was silent as she looked at the ruined object, then the relief poured in. It was gone forever, gone from her nightmares and from existence. She had done it and now Voldemort was one step closer to mortality.

"I did it," she whispered to no one. Then reality came swiftly back to her, disturbing her happy thoughts. One down, how many more to go? The diary for sure, the locket probably, maybe the cup? Anything else? She had done some reading and the cup was probably one that had belonged to Hufflepuff but could he also have something of Gryffindor's?

She didn't know and that disturbed her the most. Hermione detested things unknown. Where she was to find out anything she did not know but she did know one thing. She was going to have to start doing more than book learning. If need be she would go back to Voldemort's father's grave and see if there was anything she could learn.

It was late when she got back to her room above the Leaky Cauldron. An owl with a letter was waiting for her. She recognized the handwriting as Regulus's at once.

It seemed he was inviting her to join him at his cousin Andromeda's the following evening for dinner. His parents, he wrote to her, thought he would be with Barty. Hermione frowned at the mention of his possible continued friendship with that boy but was pleased he was going to see his cousin.

"Maybe it will all turn out for the best," she said softly to herself as she put down his letter. "This is a big step in the right direction. Smiling, she wrote a reply and sent it off with his owl. She wondered if his parents bought his excuse and what they might have heard of her. It was hardly time though for worries like that to get to her. Today was a day of accomplishments. For tomorrow, who knew?

Hermione slept soundly that night, and if she dreamed, it did not break her slumber.

End of chapter.