I could notice at that exact moment how her face emanated obvious pain; I had broken her heart. Surely, she thought I was with another woman. I tried to clear my throat and explain myself, tell her that it wasn't that easy, but... "How do I tell her about my vows? How do I tell her that we can't be together yet? How the hell do I keep her away from me to avoid putting her in danger without breaking her heart?" I found myself at a crossroads, and it broke my soul to see her beautiful face filled with sorrow, but I couldn't put her in danger. I did what I could and began to explain:
"Forgive me for saying this in this way," I said, trying to console her by placing my hands on her adorable cheeks. me for saying this in this way," he said, putting his sweet little hands on my cheeks. "But I didn't know what to expect when we met again. You know? Things have been so chaotic lately that everything has happened so suddenly. I wasn't even sure what the next day would bring, but I think you needed to know everything before we get into the other topics we'll have to discuss with the rest."
I took a breath and continued:
"I met her while on a mission. It started as a mutual convenience alliance, but things got more complicated as we navigate obstacles and dealt with dangers, and I was in a pretty complex situation."
Anastasia was waiting for something, a word or a concrete answer, as if in suspense. I gathered all the ideas in my head and continued with the rest:
"When it was clear our paths would lead us in different directions, we decided it was best to end the relationship and make peace. I wanted to visit her once more, but seeing that a couple of vampires threaten her coven because of me, it became clear that seeing her again jeopardized what she had built and fiercely defended in her country. So, currently, I learned that she's with another vampire she herself rescued. I'm at peace knowing she is no longer a target because of me. Visiting her and trying to mend the relationship was pointless."
While she watched me attentively, she seemed to draw a subtle smile. I noticed that slight gesture, and curiosity got the better of me to ask her, my impulse of idiocy was stronger than my reason:
"Do you really still love me?"
I realized I was a total idiot. "What the hell was I thinking?"
What a pretty stupid question huh?" I ended up telling her.
Anastasia watched me and took a pause. I panicked, and the suspense was killing me, but I was only complicating things. Finally, she responded with her beautiful voice:
"Always."
"Why? Why did you ask her?" I lamented. I wished to stay, throw everything away, and hug her, but I mustn't, I can't, yet. It became even harder, but I had to finish the story, get to the damn point, and try to settle things definitively, for her own good:
I looked back at the horizon, took out the photo of Marie and Lucero, then showed her the crucifix my father had.
"After what happened when you turned me, especially after I learned about the existence of vampires, my conception of the world I knew in my human life was shaken, and I didn't know what to believe anymore. I had made a vow of celibacy to my wife, to honor her memory. Then my attempts to return to a relationship and the danger that entailed made me realize that my destiny isn't tied to romance, but to a different purpose. Humanity depends on my powers, just as my powers depend on humanity. I can't, Anastasia. I can't go back to anyone else. My path is a thorny one, and I must bear the cross alone. My abilities attract enemies, and the more I expose myself, the more I risk you and my friends getting caught in the crossfire. My ability is my curse, but also my blessing. I found God again, and he has given me this revelation," I said, looking at the crucifix as it gleamed in the sunlight.
I paused and finally dropped the bomb, with the pain in my heart:
"I have kept my celibacy vote to my wife until now, and I will keep it, for her, for my daughter, and now, for God and humanity."
Finally, I stood up, looked into her eyes, and gently took her hand. Smiling, I finally said, trying to ease the tension with a joke. "Let's go, my golden princess, there's work to do."
"Alright, my noble Knight," she responded, returning the smile.
We set off back to where the others were, and they all seemed expectant, especially the dynamic duo of Nacho and Tomás.
"So?" asked Tomás, looking at us with an expectant smile.
Nacho, true to his style, started making kissing sounds, clearly thinking that we had kissed.
"Muack, muack, muack... Hahaha," the idiot laughed, looking at me with his hands in his pockets.
"Some things never change..." Amalia sighed, shaking her head, while Tomás and Nacho laughed and exchanged victorious punches.
Anastasia seemed not to have found the slightest bit of humor in it, well, technically I had shattered her dreams, I can't blame her. But I had no other choice; I had to be patient. God had entrusted me with this mission, and I had to fulfill it. Tomás seemed to realize and gave Nacho a punch on the arm as he saw our faces.
"Well, Anastasia," I said, searching for Darius's book in my backpack. "I need your opinion on a book I found in the ruins of an ancient ruins in the Middle East."
"Doraemon is about to unveil a new invention,"Nacho joked again. Tomás burst into laughter, clutching his stomach. Nacho was really starting to get on my nerves, and he seemed to have forgotten about the mishap he had with Luise, and how Tomás would make his life impossible if he dropped the bomb. I must confess I was tempted to laugh too.
I pulled out the book and showed it to her. "Suddenly she says loudly. "It's Darius's book!" She exclaimed aloud, while the dynamic duo kept laughing at their inside jokes.
"I told you Doraemon had something... Hahaha!" Nacho kept laughing, and Tomás grabbed him and threw him to the ground; the joke seemed too good.
"You... aahh..." I said to him, unable to concentrate. "I should have come back later..." Tomás rolled on the ground, still in the throes of laughter.
"Seriously, guys, it hurts, it hurts! Hahaha!" Tomás writhed on the ground and then stretched his arms. Nacho pounced on him and elbowed him, shouting.
Nacho got up again and cleared his throat. He was already preparing for his next joke. I thought he was going to mention something about Anastasia's portrait, painted by Darius, or worse, the watercolor of herself made by Ivan. It was certain that he was going to say something like that; that pose and look were typical when he was about to drop a juicy bomb.
I looked at him with a smile, warning them, and he looked at me as if challenging me to say it, so I dropped the bomb; "Luise."
Nacho looks at me with wide eyes, quite surprised, but our gazes knew that he was going for something we experienced on our travels. He grabs me and shakes me, covering my mouth with his hands. I laughed like never before. Meanwhile, Tomás was intrigued:
"Come on, guys! Who is Luise?" he insisted, trying to get Nacho to let me go. They both grab me and tug me around like a ragdoll. It was a lesson for Nacho not to blabber, but knowing him well, he was still going to spill about Mina or Anastasia's portraits, so I left the task to make Tomás enjoy himself for a while.
"Enough, enough!" I said, still laughing. "Is just a thing between me and Nacho. Ok?"
Amalia and Anastasia ignore us, or they seemed to. Finally, I come back and say, "Well, what were we talking about?"
"The book," said Amalia, coughing a bit.
"Your friend... or ex-boyfriend...," I looked at Anastasia with a smile, who seemed surprised by my revelation. Had some quite interesting theories about our species, and I analyzed them part by part. But the most shocking thing is that some of the letters followed a pattern, a kind of code that seemed to repeat after a couple of letters he seemed to note. It was steganography! Your friend was looking for something, something that many vampires might not be pleased about."
"The... what?" She asked, confused. I always jump ahead without explaining, so I began:
""Steganography. It's when you use a kind of secret code within something; it's in plain sight, but it requires interpretation to see it. For example, it can say a sentence like, a phrase in English like this:
Harry eagerly licked lollipops often, wishing oranges regularly licked deliciously.
H-e-l-l-o, w-o-r-l-d
In each initial letter, the phrase 'Hello, world!' is formed!"
It had been quite an odyssey to find the book, from Father Rafael's papers, to retrieving the book from the ruins, to being able to decode it; I was very excited about the results after the adventure.
"Sorry for interrupting, but what was it that many vampires wouldn't be pleased about?" asked Amalia.
"The first sample of venom or the patient zero, the source of everything about us, our nature" I said seriously.
"It's very interesting as a story and all, but I don't understand why some vampires wouldn't be interested in it or try to hide it." Anastasia still seemed a bit confused, but I tried to continue with the explanation.
"In medicine, uncovering the origin of a disease, or better yet, the first strain, allows for reverse engineering, and perhaps reversing the process," I explained, very hopeful of my progress so far.
"A cure?!" exclaimed Amalia.
That's when I realized that I had to explain the great revelation and its significance for our species.