Clamour of the Heart
Author's Note: Enjoy the story and R&R.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to or of Studio Ghibli.
Pairings: Seiji x Sugimura. Referenced pre-canon Seiji x Shizuku, one-sided (canon) Sugimura x Shizuku, one-sided (canon) Yuko x Sugimura.
Summary:
"What is it you'd have me say?" (in response to Sugimura crying about Shizuku) became "What do you want me to say?" (to you).
"It's you, then. You're Tsukishima's boyfriend."
Shizuku insisted she didn't hate Sugimura and that she wasn't going out with anyone, but it was plain as day there was more to her breathless hurry to flee the scene. Sugimura might have been dense, but there wasn't anyone with enough rocks in the head not to notice the impact the avid reader had on her! No one in Tokyo!
"What is it you'd have me say?" said handsome reader said.
"Amasawa, I was here first!" Sugimura's aggression flared up again. "Unbelievable…Harada likes me when I like Tsukishima, except Tsukishima likes you."
"And that makes us?"
Ohh no! He wasn't getting tricked into writing everything out neat and organized!
He wasn't Seiji.
He wasn't…Amasawa Seiji.
"Rivals! We're major enemies, Amasawa!"
Seiji embraced him more confidently, and Sugimura fought to escape the quiet hug.
No. They weren't. They wouldn't be having the little heart-to-heart if they were.
"Cut it out! Why are we doing this?"
"Good question. Why are we doing this? You came to me, remember? Warned me to leave Tsukishima alone, and ran a full lap back to home plate because you were angry at me."
Sugimura running all crazy out there by himself tested the soccer players who shared the field. They were adequately stumped. Concerned.
Should they notify a teacher?
The soccer players must've voted amongst themselves not to blow the whistle on him.
No teachers. The students weren't even around once their match ended.
Sugimura broke down and pathetically asked Seiji what he ought to do, all while recognizing Seiji was his biggest obstacle to dating Tsukishima.
He shouldn't be tolerating Seiji. He should be raising his baseball glove to pitch a couple fastballs.
Not at Amasawa, of course. At the fence. To release his inner conflict. Translate the tragic notes into an uplifting song.
But fastballs or no fastballs, Sugimura couldn't force his friend since always to alter her opinion. He realized doing so was impossible, given the hurt nods of Tsukishima's apology.
Tsukishima liked Amasawa. That was all and Sugimura would have to live with the fact.
He'd legitimately gone around to the same problem: What was he doing here?
Was he here to tussle with Seiji to prove a point?
More importantly (and this was key)…
Why. Were. They. Kissing.
?
After a difficult game, what better sport for relieving the tension than kisses on a bench?
After a girl tells you to your face you can't be her boyfriend ever and forever, this is the way forward on the concrete road.
Harada liked Sugimura. Sugimura liked Tsukishima. Tsukishima liked Amasawa, who liked Tsukushima, but Amasawa also took pity on Sugimura, and he and Sugimura were…
Again, they were on a bench kissing. On the field at school.
"Don't you like Tsukishima?"
A light blush dusted Seiji's cheeks.
Amasawa was calmer than Sugimura. Smarter than him. On the other hand, cornered with this direct challenge, the guy turned his head scoffingly like a cat, similarly rescinding his cooperation on a whim.
Maybe Seiji would introduce Sugimura to Moon (or Ball, or Muta, or whatever other alias he was going by in the neighborhood) one day.
"What, did I mention such a thing?"
"You do like her!"
Seiji didn't dignify Sugimura's outburst with a response.
"I get it, Amasawa. You don't want to talk about Tsukishima." Sugimura tried sympathy.
Exactly. Seiji couldn't spit it out. He was waiting for the right time. Shizuku would be the first to hear it from him.
"Can we just kiss?" Sugimura reclaimed the awkwardness he pushed onto Seiji.
Yes. Could they just? That sounded like a plan.
Slow. Guilt-free.
Sugimura wasn't a bad kisser, the impatience and fluctuation between his levels of commitment considered.
Obviously, Seiji was a good kisser. He seemed the type who would excel at most everything, considering who his dad was. The great Amasawa Koichi, established author and former chair of the PTA!
They'd answered the what to a certain extent. Now they were back to the why.
If they both liked Tsukishima, why kiss at all?
Perhaps the answer was as simple as Amasawa wasn't rejecting Sugimura's kisses, or vice versa.
Overanalyzing benefited nobody. In which case…
"Amasawa, is this okay?"
"What is?"
"Us. Even if I let go of Tsukishima, you're planning on confessing, aren't you?"
Idiot.
Shizuku's insult.
Seiji cupped behind Sugimura's neck and deepened the kiss.
The future was the future. Musing events that hadn't happened yet without radical reason to project that far ahead was taxing. No different than being buried alive or the sky falling. Couldn't they just –?
Sugimura admitted he preferred kissing to thinking too much.
Still…
"Tell the truth."
Baseball goof.
Also a Shizuku insult.
Did they need to do this? Pare down the intricacies of a shoulder to cry, as Seiji did, carving and crafting his violins?
The back-and-forth was like riding a bike uphill. What was wrong with following the whispers of their hearts?
"You ask a lot of questions, but that doesn't change the result, Sugimura. We're still kissing, you and I."
Sugimura wasn't contesting Seiji's statement. It was 100% factual, and he had no counterargument lined up.
If they didn't stop, a teacher or classmate really was going to find them. The rumours really were going to crawl out of the woodwork.
Although questions swirled, they agreed on two premises.
A kiss in the shade felt nice.
Prolonged kisses, even more so without a doubt.
"What is it you'd have me say?" (in response to Sugimura crying about Shizuku) became "What do you want me to say?" (to you).
The list of Seiji's potential answers began to take shape. Short yet elegant. Amazingly concise.
I like you.
I like your kisses.
I like kissing.
I like kissing you.
I like the way you kiss.
?
The sound comes from the craftsman's skill.
Relationships were more complex than expected, they were just finding out.
Or, you know? They could just keep kissing and not fuss over the tiny minutiae.