"Case?", I hear a soft voice and a knock on my door and I immediately feel relief in my chest, knowing it's him.
He's really the only one I would actually let come in my room right now.
"Come in", I speak meekly, tears still coming down my face.
I have Noelle laying down on my bed, laying on a pillow as I sit beside her on the edge of my bed, watching her as she kicks her feet and makes gurgling noises. I'm crying but seeing her being so sweet, and knowing she's mine, helps a little.
"Hey", Cap stands in my doorway and gives me a sad look, seeing that I'm crying. He comes in and closes the door behind him.
I try to wipe away my tears from my cheeks, not wanting to cry anymore, wanting to be strong in front of him.
He comes over and sits down on the other side of Noelle and me, the bed springs creaking as the bed sinks down on his side with his weight.
"Hey…". I sniffle. "Are they still out there?"
"No, they left with Rusty. He took them down to show them his wire at his apartment", Cap explains and I sigh of relief.
But I am slightly surprised that they would leave though, especially my mom. Usually she would refuse to leave without talking about this with me, without pushing to get her side across to me.
"Really?", I raise an eyebrow to him. "They actually left to give me some time? That's not really something I'd expect my mom to do… usually she'd just call me too emotional and then drill into me about why she's right".
I scoff to myself.
"Well… I may have urged them to leave", Cap shrugs.
"What?", I just about laugh, my eyes going wide.
Cap shrugs like it's no big deal and then reaches out his hand to touch Noelle, smiling down as he watches her like I was doing before he came in.
"Cap… you told them to leave?", I ask in surprise, looking at him while he seems to not care much that he probably just royally pissed off my parents.
"Well", Cap looks up at me then as he sighs. "They already hate me enough, so… the way I see it, me asking them to leave and give you some space for a bit won't really make a difference, will it?"
I let out a laugh then, looking up at him with a grin I can't keep in.
"I guess that's true", I scoff, nodding. "I just… I don't understand why they couldn't just come here today and just… be my parents! Like I just had a baby, I could've used my mom's help with certain things. And instead they try to take her away from us!"
"I know", Cappie nods. "It was a pretty terrible thing to do. And absolutely insane to think that we'd ever go for it".
Cappie holds Noelle's hand in his then as she stares her big blue eyes up at him in wonder.
"As if either one of us could ever be away from her for a day, let alone 3 years", Cap scoffs as he rolls his eyes to himself.
"Right?", I agree with him. "I just… I thought they'd finally accepted that I was having a baby… before I left to come back here to Cyprus in August my mom had finally stopped bugging me about adoption. Before that she used to send me all these articles about how great adoption is, and she'd tell me about all these success stories…"
I sigh out then.
"And I just kept shutting it down because…", my voice breaks then as I'm unable to stifle in a sob. "Because I knew I wanted her".
I'm crying again now as I look down at Noelle through my tear filled eyes.
Cappie gives me a sympathetic look and then comes over to give me a hug, pulling me into him to which I happily oblige with, wanting him right now.
"I know Case. But she's here and she's ours", He rubs my back comfortingly. "They're not gonna take her away because they don't have that power. What they did sucks but… I think your mom is just trying to find a way for you to go to law school because she wants the best for you. Even though she's going about it all wrong".
"Yeah", I croak out with a nod. "I guess".
"I uh… I didn't tell you, but yesterday I tried to call my parents", Cappie says hesitantly and I pull away from where my head rests against his chest so I can look at his face.
"Really?", I'm surprised then. "You didn't… you didn't tell me?"
"I would've but… I couldn't even get in touch with either one of them", He scoffs a little bit bitterly. "I called my mom and her number was out of service… and then I called my dad and it just went to his answering machine so I left him a message".
Cappie shrugs, avoiding my gaze as he looks down.
"I'm sorry Cap", I frown as I take his hand into mine.
I wanted him to know he could come to me about this stuff, that he could seek comfort in me the way I do in him.
"I know it bugs you that they don't try more… you can tell me these things", I look into his eyes, my hand on his jaw to steady his face towards mine.
"I know", He speaks softly. "I just… didn't want to pile on when you're already going through so much. I just…"
He looks down at Noelle then with a smile.
"I just don't understand how someone could be lucky enough to have this sweet baby as their granddaughter and they don't even know or seem to care", he shrugs.
"I know", I frown. "I guess in that way… at least my parents are trying even if they can't accept me and you raising her".
I sigh out then.
"Well hey", Cap gives me a smirk then. "Before everything went down… your dad shook my hand and seemed to be coming around to me".
Cappie grins at me and I roll my eyes with a giggle.
"That's just because he wants you to propose to me!", I argue with a laugh.
"Well he doesn't have to worry", Cap speaks seriously now, squeezing my hand. "Because me and you will do all that stuff eventually".
I can't help but smile, my face in a red flush.
I lean up then to kiss him.
When we pull away from each other we're both smiling.
"You feel better now?", He confirms with me as he smirks.
"Yeah", I nod up and down. "I'll… I'll talk to my parents in a bit. But for now… maybe you and me could just lay here with her for awhile?"
"There's nothing I'd want to do more", Cap nods as he smiles his usual Cappie grin at me and then we do just that. Admire our baby, here just the three of us. The way I wanted every day to be. But for now… I would have to deal with my parents just a little longer.
"So mom, dad", I stand up to talk to them as they're sat on our couch. "I want you to know that what you suggested really hurt me and Cappie's feelings".
I'm trying to just be honest, trying to be brave and tell them how I feel. Put myself first right now because I was already having a stressful time, and they were making it all the more stressful.
They'd come back up here after an hour so and I'd cooled off, spent some time with Cappie and the baby. And now I was ready to try to talk to them, try to make up even if me and my mom would never fully agree on things.
"Mom I thought that you'd come over today and you could help me with the things I'm still confused about, because you're my mom I thought that I could ask you those things. Like how to use the breast pump properly so it doesn't hurt, and how long I'm supposed to have bleeding for… and if you think she's getting enough milk", I say to her emotionally, feeling the hurt in my chest when I speak. "I thought we could just do things that normal mothers and daughters would do when their daughter has a baby. But then you come here and you try to take her away from me!"
I have to try hard not to let my voice break, not to let any tears fall. Because I wanted her to know this. I had spent years not telling my mom and dad that things they did and said to me hurt.
"I understand maybe you are doing this because you think it's what's best for me but really it's just hurting my feelings and making me feel like you don't think I'm going to be a good mother", I explain.
"I'm sorry", my mom sighs.
"I am too Casey", My dad chimes in. "I never wanted to make you feel like that, and I'm sure your mother didn't either".
"I guess I just didn't realize how much you wanted this honey. I thought you were just doing this because you got pregnant and then you couldn't go through with the abortion… I truly thought you didn't want this for yourself and that's why I tried to help steer you to give the baby up, so that you could still go to GW. I thought this would all be too much for you at 22", My mom explains. "I thought… I thought I was helping".
"Well I'm not going to lie and say it's easy. Or lie and say that I was happy that I was pregnant when I found out. But over time… over time I bonded with her and talked to her while she was in my belly… and then I told Cappie about her and we started planning and… well then it didn't so much feel like something I was being forced to do and was more so something I wanted to do. Something I wanted to do with Cappie. Have a family, even if we are young", I get out my feelings. "Obviously it would've been way easier to do adoption or to give her to you guys to raise until we're older so that I could just continue to live my life and go to law school… but that's not my priority now, my priority now is my baby. Mom… she's everything to me, I could never have anyone else raise her. Me and Cappie are her parents, we both watched her grow inside me, felt her in my stomach, heard her heartbeat, saw her on ultrasounds. We watched her be born… well sort of, even though it didn't happen how I thought… What I mean is that she's ours. She's ours and she's always going to be".
I look over to Cappie who's standing beside me, giving me a supportive nod, looking a little emotional himself.
"Casey's right mom… I've seen it with my own two eyes. There's no two people that could love this baby more than Cappie and Casey do. Even before she was born they were both committed to her entirely. And now that she's here that love has only grown. Insinuating that breaking that up would be the best thing for Casey is a mistake", Rusty adds and I look over to him with a proud smile, happy he's helping me and Cappie, especially when standing up to our parents has never been his strong suit. "The best thing for Casey is to be here with Cappie and the baby".
"Well this whole situation is a lot better than we had thought it would be, isn't it Karen? I mean these kids actually seem to have things in order. She's dressed, she's fed, they've got all the baby stuff in Casey's room, bought it all themselves… ", My dad looks over to my mom and I know I've got him on my side now too. My mom would always be the difficult one though.
"And soon she'll have her own nursery. And she'll grow more and her clothes will fit her properly, and I'll get my breast pump working so I can start stocking up on milk…", I add, just trying to further my case that me and Cappie can do this. "We have a real home here for her. It may not be a house, but we like it here".
I gesture around the apartment.
"And Rusty is just downstairs… our other friends are here… the rent is fairly affordable… me and Cappie both have our degrees and we'll find decent work…", I list off more reasons that they should trust us with her.
"We've kept her alive for 5 days now and nothings happened", Cap says with a scoff. "You two should know that your daughter is more capable than you know… she always has been as long as I've known her. She's recovering from surgery, adjusting to being a new mom, using her body to feed our baby, being a good sister and girlfriend, all while trying to please you guys too".
I feel a pang in my heart than at Cappie's words. He wasn't afraid to stand up to them, that's for sure. That's partially because Cappie had never seemed to really care what people thought about him. A quality I was always a little jealous of because I lacked it.
Cap had known a bit about how my parents had always underestimated me. Had thought me joining ZBZ was stupid, how they thought me being an English major was a waste of time, how my mom used to tell me I was pretty enough to find a man to take care of me so I didn't have to have a major that would make money anyways.
It was always comments like that I would try to let brush off my shoulders, but they stuck in my brain. Ever since I was in high school I was getting it from the two of them. Them insinuating that I was just some ditzy blonde who liked clothes and makeup and would never be as smart as Rusty.
"Well I suppose you're right", My mom nods at Cappie and then sighs, looking over to face me straight on. "I'm really sorry we hurt your feelings Casey. It wasn't my intention and… your boyfriend is right, you are capable of this. I can see that now that we're here. I mean, this baby wants the two of you, that's blatantly obvious. She won't even let me or your father hold her. It would be a mistake to take her from the two of you. She obviously… knows you two are her parents".
"Yes", I nod, agreeing.
"I hope you can forgive me and all I can say is that I promise I'll try to be more supportive of how you want to live your life. And if you want to go to GW in the future, we'll try our hardest to help you make that happen", She says and I feel like crying… partially because my emotions were still a mess from having Noelle, but also because my mom is finally admitting that she thinks we can do this.
"That means a lot, thanks mom", I smile.
"Come here honey", She puts her arms out. "I'm sorry we made you cry".
I move towards her to give her a hug, still not entirely trusting her, but trying to give her the benefit of the doubt anyway.
"Thanks mom, I accept your apology", I hug her and then pull away to give her a smile.
"And after some urging from Rusty while we were downstairs looking at his wire… I'd also like to apologize to you too Cappie", My mom looks to Cap now, actually looking like she regrets her actions. "Rusty told me how much you mean to him, how you've been like a real big brother to him and all the other guys in your fraternity. I obviously… didn't know as much about you as I probably should have, I was just judging you as the guy who got my daughter pregnant, and the guy who broke up with her on her birthday. But… seeing you stand up for her today and tell us to give you guys some space, well at first it made me dislike you, but now I see that you were just protecting my daughter… And if you are going to protect my daughter and my granddaughter then… there's nothing more I can really ask for is there?"
"Well thank you Karen, if I can call you that", Cappie laughs awkwardly then and gives her a slight smile. "That means a lot. I will always protect Casey and Noelle, always. And I'll always be here to look out for Rusty too. Casey and Noelle, and Rusty too, are the most important people in my life… so I want to get along with both of you".
Cap looks from my mom to my dad.
"Good well… I think we can do that, can't we Russell?", My mom gives us a content smile and then looks over to my dad.
"I think so too. As long as you don't get my daughter pregnant again", My dad half jokes.
"Dad!", I groan. "C'mon, I told you it won't happen again".
"Well I just want you to be careful", my dad gives me a look, trying to look like he's being tough. "Of course, this little girl is just about the cutest baby I've ever seen but we don't need any more of them".
"Trust me, I know", I scoff and shake my head at the awkwardness of this.
"Abstinence is really the only true way to protect against pregnancy and you two aren't married yet so it would be the responsible thing to do anyways", My dad looks from me to Cappie sternly.
Oh if he only knew that literally less than 24 hours before I went into labour me and Cappie had done the deed.
"Dad! Ew, can we please not talk about this?!", I give him an uncomfortable purse of lips as I shake my head.
"Fine I'll leave it at that", My dad sighs. "You know how I feel".
"Yes I know that you think we should be married and that I should become a nun, you've made yourself very clear", I sigh as I joke slightly, full well knowing there's no way me and Cappie and the word 'abstinence' are ever going to exist in the same realm.
"And you can still get pregnant when you're breastfeeding, you know that right?", my mom looks to me, pointing a finger. "It's just a myth that you can't. And even though you probably won't have your period for awhile, don't think that's a license to not use protection either because there's been many studies done that find that a woman your age is at their most fertile even right after giving birth".
"Mom I have a gynaecologist", I bury my head in my hands for a moment, never wanting to relive the awkwardness of this conversation ever again. "But… thank you for the advice".
I look over to meet Cappie's eyes as we stare at each other uncomfortably.
"You're welcome", My mom smiles. "Now what do you say Rusty, you want to go to The Olive Garden? That was always your favorite restaurant as a little boy".
My mom smiles at Rusty like she has never smiled at me.
"Honestly I'm not even sure I can eat now after the talk we just had", Rusty gives us a grossed out look and Cappie snickers to himself.
"I think I'm gonna stay here guys, I'm still in pain and not up for bringing the baby out", I sigh.
Not to mention, even though we made up, sitting through a long meal with my parents would be not on my top of the list for things I want to do while sleep deprived and on painkillers still.
Even though some breadsticks did sound really good to me.
"Oh of course Casey, you should stay here and rest", My mom says.
"Yeah me and Case will stay with Noelle here", Cappie nods.
"We'll bring you guys back some food though", My mom smiles at the two of us.
"Oh fettuccine alfredo mom! And their caesar salad… and breadsticks!", I say, just about drooling. Sometimes it's hard to remember to feed yourself when you're so focused on your baby.
"Okay I know what you like honey. What about you Cappie?", She asks and I can tell Cap is happily surprised that she's including him.
"Oh whatever is fine Karen, seriously, I'm not picky about food", Cap laughs.
"I can attest to that", I giggle.
"Me too", Rusty adds with a mutter. "I'll bring you back some spaghetti or something Cap".
"Thanks Spitter", Cappie gives him a grin.
"Well we better get going, it's already 7 o'clock and you know I want to get home to watch my hockey game. Those Olive Gardens never have TVs!", My dad let's out a sigh as he hoists himself of the couch, looking pretty tired himself.
"Don't worry dad, you can watch the Blackhawks on the TV at my place when you get back. Dale has us set up with a cable package with just about every channel. He… spends a lot of time in at night", Rusty comments with a laugh and me and Cap share a look, grinning.
"Alright son, let's get going. Bye Casey… and Cappie. Take care", My dad gives us a nod and is out the door with Rusty.
My dad is funny, he's kind of the opposite of my mom, he doesn't take things very seriously. Whereas my mom can fly off the handle into a panic about just about anything.
"Bye", My mom waves. "And make sure you call if anything happens, if you need help, if the baby is too much for you or-"
"We'll be fine mom", I assure her. "We've got her".
I give my mom a genuine smile then.
She looks down at Noelle, whose strapped into the baby carrier Rusty had gotten her, she had her pacifier in when we put her in there but now she's let it fall out onto the floor and instead is making gurgling noises.
"Bye sweetheart", my mom leans down to say goodbye to her and then stands up straight again, getting her coat on. "Alright bye guys!"
"Bye!", Me and Cappie say in unison.
When the door finally shuts both of us let out a loud sigh.
"Wow… well that was definitely something", I let out.
"Awkward… uncomfortable… did I mention awkward?", Cappie gives me a purse of his lips and then breaks out into a smirk. "But… hey, your mom apologized and told you where she was coming from and look! You two made up".
"Yeah you're right", I smile at him. "And she might even be starting to like you!"
"I know right? Sometimes my unique charm just takes some time to marinate with the parents", Cappie jokes with a grin and I roll my eyes at him giggling. "It worked right away on you though".
"Oh did it?", I laugh and then move closer to him on the couch as me watches me, his smirk only intensifying.
"Mmm hmm", He nods, his blue eyes looking me up and down as he licks his lips.
"Well I guess now… we're all alone", I shrug, moving closer to his lips. I'm sure he's well aware of what I'm doing.
"Mmm", He grins jokingly. "So we are".
"And my dad isn't here to tell us to be abstinent until we're married", I giggle, joking with him.
"Very true", Cappie nods, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he takes my arms and pulls me onto his lap and in to him to kiss.
"Although…", He speaks when we part and then sighs. "Unfortunately your doctor would also tell us to be abstinent right now".
He laughs as he looks over my face as I sigh, frowning.
"Even though it's like, impossible not to want to", he says quietly as he sighs, biting his lip.
"Funny, you're actually following the rules for once Cap", I mock him as I grin, speaking close to his lips and he leans in to take mine into his again, kissing me.
"Well when it comes to you not hurting yourself, I do", He says when we part, looking more serious now.
"Right", I blush, looking down shyly and then back up at him. "But… we can kiss…"
"Mmm hmm", Cappie's devilish look is back as I lean in to kiss him again. "It'll be like freshman year all over again, back when you were a virgin".
I laugh and then nod up and down.
"Yeah I guess you're right", I lick my lips, looking up and down his face, in his sea blue eyes that we're looking at me like they wanted to devour me. But obviously that couldn't exactly happen right now. "Funny… when we weren't officially together we were doing it all the time and now that we finally are a real couple…"
I trail off and then giggle when I see the way Cap snickers, pulling me into him so I'm resting against him. My head laying in the crook of his neck, my body sitting in his lap.
"Yeah kind of ironic right?", He scoffs. "I still think back sometimes to that night on Homecoming when you called me and said we should have sex".
He's laughing now as he teases me, my face going red as I bury my head in my hands.
"Ugh", I groan. "Don't remind me, that was a low point for me".
I can't help but giggle then.
"A horny low point", Cap points out as I give him an annoyed bop on his arm.
"It was the baby hormones making me… want its dad, alright?", I give him a look, sparring with him, but I can't help but laugh a bit.
"Thanks Noelle", Cappie looks over to where she's laying in her carrier. "I owe you one".
I roll my eyes at Cappie as I giggle.
"Even if… I didn't get insanely turned on in my second trimester and called you up, I still think we would've found our way back to each other somehow Cap", I look to him with a smile. "If we hadn't started hooking up and getting close again… I still think that I would've had her and through taking care of her together and seeing you be her dad… it would have made us realize how much we loved each other. Eventually at least".
"You're right", He grins. "I've thought about that too… Seeing you be her mom… there's absolutely no way that I wouldn't have fallen back in love with you. That is, if I hadn't already been in love with you nonstop for 4 years".'
He gives me a smug smile then and I lean in to hug him, my arms around his neck, my body pressed against his.
"Whoa…", he says and I pull away to meet his face. "Your boobs feel like rocks Case".
I reach down to touch them then, so tired and preoccupied with my mom making me crazy that I hadn't even noticed.
"You're right. I'm gonna try to feed her", I nod and get up off the couch and am about to grab her out of her carrier.
"Wait!", Cappie stops me. "I'll get her, you can't bend down, remember?"
He comes over and bends down to get Noelle for me.
"Oh right, I keep forgetting", I sigh and he puts her into my arms. "Thanks Cap".
"Yeah no problem, you still shouldn't move much", He looks to me sternly and we go back to sit on the couch together as I take my cardigan off, left just in my camisole and nursing bra underneath.
She's being a little fussy as I try to get her in the right position to latch on. Usually I would do this in my room, sitting on my bed or in my rocking chair. But no one was home so I didn't mind doing it out here.
I pull down my top, taking the strap off one arm and undoing the latch on my bra so that my one breast is exposed. Still she refuses to latch on right.
"C'mon Noelle, it's boobs, you love boobs!", Cappie speaks to her in a joking voice as I try to get her to stop moving and just latch on, holding my boob up to her how I was taught. "And they're your mom's boobs, which I can say from personal experience, are pretty freaking awesome".
My eyes travel over to Cap to give him a look, rolling my eyes as I laugh.
"Thank god", I moan out when she finally gets on my right breast, alleviating some of the hardness of it because it was so full with milk. "The only thing is… I think I'm finally gonna start having to use the breast pump because my other boob is also full".
"Well that's probably good right? A lot of new mothers can't make a good supply and you're doing good with it", Cappie smiles at me.
"Which is good because I think we should get her weight up", I nod. "And also if I can pump and store some of the milk then you can feed her when I'm sleeping or when I'm busy".
"Right, yeah. The whole breastfeeding thing leaves me feeling pretty useless", Cap scoffs. "I can make bottles for her if you have stored milk".
"I just have to try to figure out how to use it. It came with instructions and I put all the parts in the dishwasher a couple weeks ago so it should be good", I say.
"Well I'm happy to help you try it out", Cappie smirks at me and I give him a look, narrowing my eyes. "Because it will help our daughter… and help your boobs be more comfortable".
He defends himself as he laughs, but I still give him a knowing grin.
"And because it's been awhile since I've touched your boobs", He sighs as he gives in to the real reason.
"Cap you literally touched them last night!", I giggle.
"I meant in an… intimate way", He gives me a look.
I look off, thinking to myself.
"Well even then the last time you touched them in that sense was only… 5 days ago", I look at him and giggle at the faux offended expression he gives me in response.
"Hey that's a long time for me!", He jokes with me.
"Yeah it's a long time in Cappie time because you're used to doing stuff like that at least every other day", I give him a look, laughing.
"Hey I told you", He sticks his finger up, face smirking and as Cappie as ever so I know he's about to joke around with me. "I went from mid August to mid October while I waited for you to get desperate and horny enough to hookup again! I think I can handle that again".
"Okay", I giggle but make it known with my expression that I'm seriously doubting that he can.
The two of us snicker then, our faces red, enjoying being together like this. Fully back together, sparring with each other like we're used to, being comfortable with each other. Not to mention in the presence of the sweetest baby ever that we just so happened to have created together.
"Although….", I shrug as I think to myself and then look over to him as I bite my lip and then give him a seductive smirk, knowing exactly what I'm doing. "Even though I'm out of commission… there's still things I can do for you".
I move my face closer to his as I give him a doe eyed look, grinning at him.
He looks back at me in pure elation, his eyebrow raised as he scoffs to himself.
"Ms. Cartwright…", He plays along and I can't help the way he makes me giggle. "That's very… naughty of you. I like it".
"I thought you would", I purse my lips and then laugh, nodding. "If the baby is asleep… like fully conked out. And if me parents are in a different zip code… then I'm definitely going to show you how thankful I am for what you did for me today".
I grin at him, my dimples showing.
He looks back at me for a moment, taking this in, looking me up and down while I'm still feeding Noelle.
"Okay one", He laughs, holding up a finger. "You don't have to thank me at all, I'm kind of just always going to be here for you, that's what I do. And two, why does the baby have to be fully knocked out for this… naughty event to take place?"
He looks at me with a scoff, amused by this.
"Because!", I say like it's obvious. "She's too young to see that kinda stuff, it'll traumatize her!"
Cappie twists his mouth into a thinking look and looks over at me quizzically.
"Well… she definitely experienced me and you doing naughty things to each other enough times when she was in the womb", He scoffs, gesturing down to my stomach for a moment.
"Yeah but… now she's fully conscious Cap. When she was in my belly she couldn't even tell we were having sex. But seeing it with her own two eyes is different!", I argue.
"Alright", Cap gives in, smirking at me.
"I mean… I know she's only a baby but still… I can't have her seeing me do that", I say with a laugh. "I mean eventually it might be unavoidable and she might see something but I'm going to try as much as possible. She'll have her own nursery now so when she's in there and truly asleep then me and you can…"
I trail off, trying to think of a euphemism for sex.
"Enjoy pie together?", He grins, finishing my sentence, thinking of our euphemism for sex we'd long ago created.
"Yes", I giggle. "Which reminds me… I'm starving. Like for actual food".
"Ugh me too", Cap groans. "I can't believe I'm saying this but I actually kind of wish your parents would come back".
"Me too, how crazy is that?", I laugh.
"Well Chef Cappie can probably come up with something until they return", Cappie grins mischievously. "You've gotta keep eating enough while breastfeeding, that what the doctor said. Is there anything I can make you?"
"Well, Chef Cappie", I give him a look, mocking him slightly as I laugh. "I guess I could go for some cheese and crackers".
"Perfect, that's in my list of things I can make!", He jokes and gets up off the couch to go get us a snack.
"Thanks!", I call over to him in the kitchen as i smile.
I look down at Noelle whose still eating, her little tiny body in my arms, lips around my breast, blue eyes looking up at me.
"Yeah daddy's making me some food so that I can keep making food for you!", I say to her as I beam down at her, unable to keep the giddy smile I get when I look at her in. "Isn't that nice?"
And just like that, her eyes brighten up and I swear she's smiling a bit, her expression changing slightly from her usual newborn baby, void of emotion look.
"Cappie!", I practically shout out immediately.
"What?!", He rushes over to me worriedly.
"Oh sorry, it's nothing bad", I say quickly, not wanting to have alarmed him. "It's just… I think she almost sort of smiled!"
"Really?", His eyes brighten.
"Yeah I mean she's not doing it now, now she's just suckling and looking normal but….", I sigh, wishing I could've taken a picture of something. "She totally looked up at me and her eyes, her face… like lit up and she looked happy!"
I'm desperately trying to defend what I saw to Cappie, trying to assure him it happened.
"I believe you", He laughs slightly and then smiles. "That's crazy! It's just the start Case. She's just gonna keep doing cool stuff. Making more expressions, growing, doing more, crawling eventually…"
Cappie sighs then, looking emotional, and I honestly feel like laughing at him getting in his feelings about her growing up when she was only 5 days old.
"Just the other day, when she was born, she was barely opening her eyes, and now…", Cap looks emotional.
"Aw Cap", I pucker my lip and can't help but let out a giggle. "Are you gonna cry?"
"No", He shakes his head, furrowing his brow, giving me a look like the very notion is crazy. He sobers up back to his usual expression and goes back into the kitchen to bring out two plates for us.
"It's okay if you do", I give him a grin, now just kind of enjoying teasing him.
Noelle's stopped feeding now and I pull my bra back on right, along with my top.
Cap comes over and hands me a plate, giving me a look as he rolls his eyes, still smiling.
"Just eat your snack", He laughs.
"It's kind of hard to do when I'm holding our milk drunk baby", I whine. "Hey... she looks Iike you when you're drunk".
I look over to him with a smug grin, teasing him, and he returns the look, smirking.
"Well I think she looks like you when you were drunk on Spring Break a couple months ago", Cappie scoffs. "Which… is coincidentally what led to Noelle being here today".
He gives me a joking look then, blue eyes full of sinful thoughts as he licks his lips.
I scoff at him with a shake of my head.
"Here!", I laugh, holding her over to him. "Just take our Spring Break baby for a bit so I can eat".
I giggle as I pass her over to him. She truly looks so peaceful and milked out right now that she doesn't even make any movements or sounds when I hand her over to him.
"I thought she was a Christmas baby?", Cap gives me a look, playing along with me.
"She's both", I giggle as I start to quickly start in on these cheese and crackers, just so hungry for anything right now.
"You hear that Noelle?", Cap speaks down to her with a grin on his face. "You have a real knack for choosing holidays to base your existence around".
I scoff at him as I keep eating.
I know that people had told me I had made a mistake, told me my life would never be the same as it used to be, told me I was throwing away the chance to make something of myself.
But if the me who was standing there shaking, holding a bunch of positive pregnancy tests in the ZBZ washroom could see me now, see what this night was like, how happy I was… Well I never would have even hesitated for a second. Never would have worried, never would've cried.
Because I hadn't stopped smiling all night. Cappie, and Noelle for that matter, pretty much made sure of that.