Chapter 4 - Closure

"I didn't expect her to invite you over," Anakin remarks, visibly amused, as he flies the speeder he and Obi-Wan are taking to where Satine is staying while she's on Coruscant. She'll be leaving for Mandalore soon.

Obi-Wan found a way to make enough time to have the evening off, though who he really wanted to be with was Anakin, so he decided to bring him along. But that's a decision he's beginning to think he already regrets.

"It's nothing more than a political meeting," Obi-Wan defends.

"Sounded personal, from what you told me." Will he get that devilish grin off his face?

"What exactly are you implying?" Obi-Wan asks, crossing his arms.

"Oh nothing, Master," Anakin replies, cheerfully.

He huffs but drops the topic before it goes in that direction again.

They reach the dock outside Satine's present residence not long later, heading inside together. Satine is waiting for them, dressed more informally than she is when they're in public. "I'm glad you could make it," she says, smiling cordially before her gaze shifts to Anakin. "And it's good to see you again, Master Skywalker."

"Duchess," he replies, nodding, "And you can call me Anakin."

"I heard things on Mandalore were settled," Obi-Wan remarks.

"Yes," she agrees, though her expression is still troubled, "But still, who is behind all of this? Who tampered with that recording? Who tried to convict me of murder and throw me in jail?"

"I'm uncertain," Obi-Wan replies. He knows the Republic had a lot to do with it, but he doesn't know how far. Someone tampered with the recording, and that definitely was not the Republic. "But as you said yourself, things are changing and sometimes the line between friend and foe is blurred, especially now."

"There must be rogue members of your government, for someone to have tampered with it unnoticed," Anakin muses, thoughtfully.

Satine turns to him. "I am... concerned about that. We'll be taking steps to find them. Perhaps with the presence of a Jedi, working with my government, we'd be able to make greater strides."

"We would be pleased to assist you," Anakin replies.

"I don't think that will be a job for me," Obi-Wan interjects, "But perhaps Anakin or his padawan."

Satine nods, though he can't tell if she's disappointed or not.

He wouldn't mind, but he frankly has far more important things to be doing – the Council only sent him on a mission to Mandalore in the first place because it was directly related to the war effort. That's the only thing he ever deals with these days.

"The Jedi have become weapons of the Senate."

Maybe that really is truer than he wants to think about. Doesn't want to know how far that could lead the Council in the future.

"But I didn't invite you here to talk politics," Satine says, "Why don't you come to dinner."

"The food won't be poised this time, will it?" Obi-Wan asks.

Satine gives him an unimpressed look.

Anakin looks half confused, maybe half – he had better not be finding their interactions funny again.

"I think we put that behind us, Obi-Wan," she replies, flatly.

"Oh, let's hope so." He almost wants to explain what happened to Anakin, but he... doesn't know if he should. He wasn't supposed to tell anyone.

"I didn't realize you two were so close," Anakin comments, that lingering amusement still in his eyes, as he takes a seat next to Obi-Wan at the table.

"We're not," Obi-Wan deadpans, "She's one of the most unpleasant women I've ever met."

Satine gives him a flat look. "And I would say you're one of the most obnoxious people I've ever been acquainted with."

Hey.

Anakin's looking at them both with a raised eyebrow, though he snorts at the comment.

"So why don't you tell me what it was like to be raised by him," Satine suggests, glancing at Anakin.

"That would be a long story."

"I'm sure," she agrees, "I knew his master for a while when we were on Mandalore."

"I knew him too," Anakin comments, longing flickering across his face. For all that he didn't know Qui-Gon for more than a few days, he still cares deeply about him and misses him. He was the one who saved Anakin, gave him the life he has now, to be fair. He's the one who brought him and Obi-Wan together. "He was the one who brought me to the Temple."

"Oh," she says, expression growing more solemn, "I didn't mean to bring up a sensitive topic for both of you."

"It's fine," Obi-Wan waves it off, even if thinking about Qui-Gon already hurts. That doesn't mean he doesn't all the time.

"I only knew him for a few days before he was... lost," Anakin says, quietly.

Satine frowns slightly. "But that little over ten years go. Wouldn't you have been... quite old by that point? I thought the Jedi had some rules about that?"

Anakin's expression dims. "I was an exception."

It's then that the serving droids show up with food, temporarily pausing the conversation.

Obi-Wan slips out of the room to the 'fresher, and maybe just for a moment to glance around at security and to try sensing if there's anything suspicious in the food. He has every right to be wary after what happened. He doesn't have an inexplicably bad feeling that everything's about to blow up, just this once, but it doesn't hurt to be safe. He doesn't dense anything, but he can hear Anakin and Satine still talking as he's heading back to the dining room.

All nearby guards are far enough away to be out of earshot. He has to say, he can appreciate the... gesture of trust, considering that they both admitted that they were trying to kill each other. Makes him a little less annoyed about the poison thing, but just a little. It's pretty obvious it wasn't meant to succeed any more than what he was intended to carry through with what he was told to do, but still.

He can't stop thinking about the mission and how it happened at all. He doesn't know that he can ever... truly see the Council or what they say about the Code the same anymore, and he doesn't know what that says about him.

"It was not easy, growing up at the Temple," Anakin is saying, and Obi-Wan pauses in his tracks, far enough away that Anakin shouldn't sense him close – probably because Anakin seems capable of sensing literally everything and all the things Obi-Wan misses. He has to grudgingly admit that.

"Because you came so late?" Satine queries.

"Yeah," he replies, quietly, "I... wasn't like anyone else, but it... it doesn't really matter, as long as I can help."

Obi-Wan knows just how lonely Anakin was when he was young. Even he didn't fully understand why Anakin had such a hard time being friends with the others. He knows they also saw him as different and it... was never easy for him, but hearing how he's talking about it now, sometimes he thinks he underestimates just how much.

"It does matter," Satine replies, "But that you dealt with all that because you wanted to help is still commendable. Obi-Wan was the only one there you had, close enough to be family?"

"Yes. I mean – Jedi don't really have family, but..."

"You're the closest thing I have to a father."

He hasn't forgotten that moment. He never could but he doesn't really know what to do about it. It shouldn't mean so much to him. He shouldn't wonder what it would be like to actually treat Anakin as... family. The Jedi are all Obi-Wan's family and that should be all that matters, but he does have faint memories of his own parents and younger brother, and... he knows what Anakin said about his own mother. He can't help wondering sometimes what it would be like to have something closer than just... what the Jedi have. He knows he shouldn't, but really, he's tired of pretending it's not true. Especially after everything the Council just ordered him to do.

It's not like wanting to have Anakin with him, wanting to see him the way he would his own child is any worse than being sent to kill someone completely innocent.

And he can't help wondering sometimes, what... giving in to that attachment would have meant for Anakin was still a padawan. He knows Anakin's wanted something more, something Obi-Wan's not sure he really understands. Can't help wondering if things would have been easier with them if he hadn't been pushing him so hard to be the Jedi Obi-Wan knows he could never be himself. He's hardly blind to how deeply Anakin cares, and he knows how dangerous it could be, and yet he can't really imagine Anakin being himself if he wasn't like that.

"If you need anyone to talk to about anything, I'd be happy to if we can coordinate times," Satine tells him.

"...Thank you," Anakin replies, sounding overwhelmed. "I wouldn't mean to bother you, but – "

Obi-Wan uses that as his cue to reenter the room,

"It wouldn't be a bother to me," she replies, unconcerned that their conversation isn't private anymore. Actually, she seems the slightest bit smug about something, and that makes Obi-Wan instantly wary. "We're arguably close enough to family, regardless."

The look she shoots him is way too pointed.

Wha –

Hey.

Why is she bringing that up right now?

Anakin's gaze darts between them, half-confused, half-amused.

"You don't even know him," Obi-Wan replies flatly, pointedly sliding into his seat next to Anakin.

"You never mentioned it to anyone?"

"Why would I?" he demands, glaring at her. Why is she bringing this up now? That is the last thing in the entire galaxy he wants Anakin to find out about. He thought she wanted this secret too.

"What are you... discussing?" Anakin inquires.

Great.

He's never going to let it go now.

Satine gives him Obi-Wan a look, as though she's somehow expecting him to want to answer that question.

"Nothing important," he replies, crossly, "She's just being – "

"He's attempting to deny that we had a... situation on Mandalore, that ended up with us being customarily married," she responds, looking like she's trying very hard to smother a smile.

Anakin blinks, just gaping at her.

"It's not real and it doesn't matter," Obi-Wan replies loudly, glowering at Satine.

What is wrong with her? Honestly? There was absolutely no reason to tell him any of that.

Especially not when Anakin starts laughing.

As though there's something somehow funny about that? It's downright embarrassing, is what it is.

"It's hardly amusing," he grumbles, glaring.

"How did you manage to marry by accident?" Anakin asks, still laughing.

"We needed a cover tactic one time when we were trying to hide," Satine replies, dryly.

"She might have neglected to tell me the details until after," Obi-Wan huffs.

"There wasn't time," she shoots back.

"I'm beginning to think you just did it on purpose." And he can't say he actually thinks she would do something like that for a prank, but he can't help grumpily wondering.

"I can't believe you've been married since long before we met," Anakin says.

"It's not as if it's real nor will it ever be," he defends.

"Well," Satine interrupts, still visibly amused and he has no idea what her problem is, "It's been a nice evening. You're welcome to stay here overnight if you don't want to fly back to the Temple at this hour."

He's tempted to leave out of sheer annoyance, but it's probably safer to ensure both of them are planning to shut up about this before he does leave. He doesn't need this getting out to anyone, especially not when it'll make the Council start questioning why he didn't kill Satine.

As if that wasn't already obvious.

Not that he actually believes Anakin would say anything about it to anyone, but still.

"We'll stay," Obi-Wan volunteers grudgingly.

Anakin doesn't seem overly disappointed. Or maybe, he's just too busy laughing to be disappointed. It's hard to tell.

"I'll leave you two to... sort this out?" Anakin offers, amused. He turns to leave the room, to presumably head to the guest bedroom down the hall that's going to be for them.

"Was that necessary?" Obi-Wan demands sharply, rounding on her the second Anakin's out of the room. And hopefully actually out of earshot.

"Before you overreact – "

"Overreact? Do you have any idea what it would mean if someone found out about it?" he snaps.

"Do you have any idea what it would mean for me?" Satine asks, flatly.

"Considering that you were foolish enough to tell someone about it, I can't say I'd have much sympathy."

"You don't trust Anakin that little, do you?" she counters, and keeps talking before he can interrupt with a very annoyed retort. "Look, there's a reason I told him that."

"Aside from assuming it would be somehow amusing?"

"Yes, actually," she replies, "Anakin was telling me a little about his life at the Temple."

Probably best not to admit he eavesdropped on at least a third of that conversation. "And?"

"From what I gathered, he's always had a hard time, because he had a... normal family that he remembers before joining the Order. What you choose to believe is up to you, but I think it would help him a great deal if he could openly see you as his family."

It's unnerving that he was just thinking something similar. Maybe she's not entirely wrong, but – "What has that got to do with telling him about our completely irrelevant and false marriage?"

"Because if he knows about it, maybe he'll feel freer to see you as family. And I'm not saying I'm encouraging either of you to disregard your Orders rules about that."

...Fine.

He can grudgingly understand that even if he's still annoyed. "You could have told me first."

"And you would have agreed?"

"It was hardly yours to tell."

"Perhaps not, but I do need to ask where you would like to go from here, or if you'd prefer to leave things as they have been all these years."

His annoyance fades a little, even if the question makes him feel distinctly uncomfortable. It's a fair question that they need to think about, though. At the beginning of the mission, he never considered that he'd have any reason to stay in contact with her after the mission was over and he hadn't cared that much, but after everything that happened with the Council, he doesn't know. It's not as if staying in contact with her is breaking the Code. Just – doing something more would be.

He can't say he's opposed to talking to her, at least. Mostly just because of the... loneliness he so often feels, even if it doesn't really matter because he's a Jedi first and foremost.

Or was supposed to be. Until the Council told him to break the Code.

"I have no objection to staying in contact," he admits, "But I rather doubt you want to ruin your reputation if word of anything more gets out."

"Oh, believe me, if anyone heard we were married, they wouldn't care if we claimed it was fake."

Yes, thank you, this just makes him too squeamish to even think about it, much less talk about it. Anything beyond a friendship isn't something he can understand the appeal of. "Like I said, I would... like to stay in communication," he concedes, finally, "I think we have a lot of catching up to do, regardless."

"We do," Satine agrees, "And I'd like to hear what you've been doing all this time."

"You want to hear war stories? That's a first."

She huffs. "About as much as you would probably like to hear me detailing how being a pacifist is far more effective than inciting further violence."

He decides not to mention the whole her-trying-to-kill-him thing. Only because it'll make him think about what he nearly did. "If you have any advice on how talking to battle droids about pacifism will end the war, I'd be glad to hear it but perhaps not tonight."

"For once, a wise decision," Satine replies, as she approaches him. The proximity is a little weird. Or maybe it's more the implications. "I wouldn't ask you to break your Code any more than I'd risk doing something that may cause scandals in my government, but I sometimes think about what if this was more... real."

What's he supposed to say to that? It's also a far more emotional conversation than he's comfortable with. "I have to," he admits. At least now's a better time than talking about it in front of Senator Tal Merrik of all people in the galaxy. At least he's dead so he won't remember that conversation. "But it's hardly any more possible now than it was then. Despite what the Council may have done, I still live by the Code." Most of all, he's never going to take a risk that could result in him being thrown out of the Order and forced to be away from Anakin more than he already is. That matters to him far more than anything else ever could.

"I understand," she agrees, even if he thinks she's a little disappointed, "But so long as no one has further homicidal intentions to confess, maybe our... marriage won't fail again."

"Do you have to keep calling it that?" It's just weird. Even if he's getting just slightly more used to the concept. Can't imagine what it would have been like to have Satine help him take care of Anakin when he was a padawan. That genuinely sounds like it would have made it a lot easier, though. Even if he doesn't fancy the thought of having to have shared him like that.

What would it be like to have... a normal family? To actually –

Not that it matters because Anakin's too old to raise and Obi-Wan'll never get that chance again, but he can't help wondering anyway.

If for some reason his decision changes in the future, there'll be plenty of time.

"You should be getting to sleep," Obi-Wan advises finally, stepping away, "Before all your staff start to wonder what we're talking about in here so long."

She nods, though she seems mildly amused as she watches him leave the room. This really isn't how he expected the mission to kill her to end, in the slightest.

When he enters the guest bedroom, Anakin is sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at messages on his comm, but he slides it away when Obi-Wan enters, looking up.

"You're not asleep yet?" he queries – not that he really expected otherwise.

Anakin smiles, in that way that somehow always makes something inside of him melt – though it looks like a desperately failing effort not to burst out laughing, this time. Honestly, come on. "I was beginning to wonder where you were for so long."

If he dares to start laughing again –

"She wouldn't shut up about pacifism," Obi-Wan supplies, taking a seat on the edge of the bed, next to Anakin. Not like that's a lie. They spent a while squabbling about that, too.

"That's all you had to discuss?"

"I don't really think you're one to talk," Obi-Wan retorts.

He didn't quite mean to say that so bluntly, but well...

The way Anakin sort of freezes up a little, Force presence flaring with fear wouldn't be obvious to anyone else, but it is to him. And he instantly senses those same traces of emotion he always does when he knows Anakin's thinking of Senator Amidala.

Well.

He already brought this up. He... might as well finish the conversation. Even if he's not fully sure what to say about it. He knows what he would have done, but now... "I know you and Senator Amidala are close."

Anakin blinks a few times, posture and expression closing off. "We're friends, Obi-Wan. We..."

"I know what I've seen."

Anakin looks down. "Master, I – It's – I don't mean it to break the Code. It's not – nothing to interfere with my duty. I..."

Obi-Wan expected it was more serious than just a passing emotion. Considering that it's been months and how passionate Anakin is about everything he does, Obi-Wan's not really surprised that it wasn't something that just... faded. He can't deny that he's disappointed, but he doesn't really know what to say to him. Not after everything that just happened with the Council. And the truth is, it would be flat-out hypocritical of him to scold Anakin for this right now. Besides, he's not wrong that it hasn't interfered with his duty.

"Anakin," Obi-Wan starts, though he's only half sure what to say.

Anakin looks close to scared – of course, he does.

Obi-Wan didn't think about how he would react to it, until right now.

He only hinted at it because he was annoyed. And he almost wishes he hadn't brought it up, but... Satine did advise him to talk to Anakin and maybe addressing this would be a good place to start.

"Why did you do it?" he settles for, finally. "Even though you know it's not allowed?"

"I don't... I do not know how to explain it, Master," he says, fumbling for words as he studies the floor. "She helps me. She... gives me something to look forward to, especially with the war. I know I shouldn't have done it, but..."

"Does it help?" Obi-Wan inquires, finally, "I know you were lonely when you were young." And he doesn't know how much that's changed.

"I – Yes. She is the only family I have, Master. After – after my mother died."

Wait. If he's calling Padme family, does that mean...? He actually doesn't want to know. They had better not already be married too, this time for real.

But... either can get further involved, or he can leave this up to Anakin's choice like he did before. And he really thinks that that's probably for the best. "I'm not going to tell the Council."

Anakin stills, looking up at him hesitantly. "You... won't?" He sounds confused and wary.

Which is probably fair.

If Obi-Wan had found out before, it would have been his duty to tell the Council, to give Anakin the choice of breaking off contact with Padme or – or he'd be expelled from the Order, and Obi-Wan doesn't even want to think about that happening. But things aren't quite the same anymore.

"I want you to be happy." At the end of the day, that really is the truth. There's nothing quite like seeing Anakin genuinely happy. He was so cheerful as a child but that doesn't mean he was happy. "I might have... told them before, but things are different now."

Something flickers through his gaze. "Why? Because of – "

"Not Satine," Obi-Wan interjects, "Well, in part, but not because of whatever it is you keep imagining." Yes, he has every right to give him a very grumpy glare and Anakin still has the mental space to look amused about.

He didn't intend to bring this up, but well... Might as well finish this conversation. He ignores the nagging guilt inside of him, for so blatantly disobeying the Council. "It's technically classified, but they gave me a mission to... assassinate her."

"...What?" he echoes, eyes widening.

"They thought she was with Death Watch and the Senate wanted us to deal with it. They gave it to me."

"But that's not... what Jedi do?" Anakin objects, sounding hopelessly lost.

It feels far more wrong to outright say he's doubting the Council than to just think about it. "I didn't do it," he replies, "They weren't happy."

"Is that... why they were looking for you?"

He nods, grudgingly.

"Are you alright? I mean with – with what happened. I didn't know."

Obi-Wan squeezes his shoulder. "I'm fine, Anakin. Aside from your harassment, that is."

A smile flickers across his face, even if it's still dim. "Am I really wrong, Master?"

"Yes, Satine and I are friends, Anakin. Regardless of what her cultural rules may claim, the only... family I have is you."

Can't quite believe he just said that out loud.

Anakin stills, staring at him, eyes practically bug-sized.

"I know you told me once... what you see me as. I couldn't say myself what we are, but you were always more than just my padawan." They did everything together for ten years. That's not something he can ever forget or let go of. He's admittedly a little tired of pretending that he has, even if he should not be thinking like that.

Anakin looks like he's about to cry.

Actually, he already is.

Oh no.

Why is he crying?

He thought telling him that was going to help?

"Why didn't you tell me?" Anakin asks, eyes wet.

"Tell you...?"

"That – all of that."

"I thought you knew." He did think it was obvious, and it hadn't mattered because it wasn't the Jedi way, but...

"How would I have known? You never... acted like it."

The words sting a little, but that's probably not fair. "It wasn't the Jedi way... but I can't deny it anymore."

He should have expected to promptly become victim to Anakin's crushing hug. The boy is practically clinging to him, his metal arm pressing uncomfortably into Obi-Wan's back, not that that really bothers him.

...Maybe he wasn't crying because he was upset, then.

Obi-Wan slips his arms around him, holding him tightly – for a few long moments, at least. It's been a long time since he got to hold him like this, for them to just be with each other.

"It's getting late," Obi-Wan tells him when he pulls back. "You should get to sleep."

Anakin nods, offering an almost shy smile. He seems happier, and less stressed, than Obi-Wan's seen in a long time.

There's only one bed in here, but it's not like that's a problem for them. Anakin used to sleep next to his bed at night after he first became a padawan.

Obi-Wan lays down, and Anakin's quick to join him, snuggling up against him. He hasn't been this clingy in a while. He's missed it when Anakin was, no matter how awkward he sometimes feels from how emotional the boy gets.

Can't say he minds it at all right now. He wants to keep him here and never let go. He's so tired of missing him, of feeling like he's going to inevitably lose him someday like he has everyone else. Why didn't he think of having that conversation a long time ago?

...He'll worry about the Council and all the problems that come with that some other time.

What would it have been like to have raised Anakin with Satine there? What would it be like for them to both act as his parents even now? It's not exactly too late for that, but Obi-Wan doesn't quite know what to think of the implications.

Maybe he's just getting an overdose of snuggly-ness because he can't believe he's thinking about this so freely when he really shouldn't be.

Maybe, he'll just let himself worry about it in the morning. For now, he's just going to enjoy the moment while it lasts, the same way Anakin seems to be. Focus on the present Qui-Gon had always told him. He really appreciates the advice right now.

But he does know that whatever happens, he can't imagine returning to trying to stay as distant as he has been with Anakin all this time, and he... wants to stay in contact with Satine. Her friendship is helpful in so many ways and he kind of misses a time when he actually had that with someone.

This was by far the strangest ending to a mission for him to kill her, but for once he'll let himself risk believing that nothing else is about to blow up. Not tonight, at least.

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