Chapter Nineteen

Mapleshade pulled herself under a spindly bush, wincing as a branch scraped along her spine. Appledusk settled down beside her, tucking his paws under him. The bush did little to protect them from the rain, but it was better than being out in the open.

It was almost sunhigh, Mapleshade presumed, though she could not see the sun. They had been traveling since a little before dawn, woken by a drizzle. Deciding to get a move on before all the Twolegs and their monsters awoke, Mapleshade followed Appledusk deeper into the Twoleg's Place.

"I'm hungry. Are you?" Appledusk meowed after a moment of silence.

Suddenly, Mapleshade became aware of the ache in her stomach. She hadn't eaten last night, and the mouse they'd shared this morning had already burned off. "Starving," she admitted.

Appledusk stretched. "I'll go catch us something, then."

"I can hunt for myself," Mapleshade argued.

"It's pouring out there. Do you really want to get soaked to the bone? At least I'm used to the water," Appledusk pointed out.

Mapleshade settled back down, not in the mood to argue. She needed to make the most of this trip, for Nettlekit's sake. Arguing with Appledusk over something pointless would only make things more complicated.

Mapleshade shrank further under the bush as the rain grew heavier. Every time the wind blew, it threw spray into the air, soaking Mapleshade's flank. She flattened her ears to her head, wondering how Appledusk was fairing.

It wasn't long before he returned, carrying a large frog in his mouth. "This was all I could find," he sighed, dropping it at her paws.

Pushing back a grimace, Mapleshade lowered her head to take a bite. The two shared the frog in silence until Mapleshade could no longer stand the taste, giving Appledusk the rest. He pushed her to eat more, insisting she keep her strength up, but Mapleshade refused.

They set off again as soon as the rain came to a stop. Appledusk led her down several more alleys, and through a row of Twoleg gardens. A group of Twoleg kits had chased them up a tree at one point, taking out a large chunk of the day. It didn't help that everything was wet from the rain, leaving Mapleshade soaked.

Padding down another alley, Mapleshade looked up at the sky. The storm clouds from earlier had vanished, revealing a reddish-orange sky.

"Mouse-dung," Mapleshade muttered. They'd already lost enough time as it was — now they'd have to stop for the night!

They continued walking until Twoleg's Place was draped in darkness. Mapleshade scouted for a place to sleep, while Appledusk went in search of prey. Spying a hole in the wall of an abandoned Twoleg nest, Mapleshade crept forward. She sniffed at the opening, met only with stale, dusty air.

Inside, the nest was empty. There was a large hole in the roof and a puddle on the floor directly beneath it. Mapleshade walked to the far corner, huddling against the wall as she waited for Appledusk.

She'd been gone far longer than expected. There was no doubt her Clanmates were worried sick about her at this point - if they were even still alive. She couldn't believe she'd been so foolish to disappear like this, but she tried to tell herself it was necessary. Nettlekit was out there somewhere, all alone.

A large piece of meat unlike anything Mapleshade had seen before dangled from Appledusk's jaws as he pushed his way into the abandoned Twoleg nest. "I found this in a dumpster," he mewed.

Mapleshade held back a growl, ready to taste something even more fowl than the frog they'd eaten earlier, but as she took a bite, she was met with a flavor she'd never tasted before. It tasted like bird, although there was something more to it.

"What is this?" she asked, licking her lips.

"Dunno. Something Twoleg's eat. It was wrapped in some weird leaves, along with some other stuff."

"Do you think they buried it for later?" Mapleshade wondered.

"I don't think so. Nimble — one of the rogues — said Twolegs waste so much prey. They only eat half of it, and just toss the rest of it in the trash."

Mapleshade narrowed her eyes. "But it's almost leafbare! Aren't they worried they'll starve?"

Appledusk shrugged. "I guess not."

"Twolegs are so strange."

"You wouldn't believe half the things the rogues said about them," Appledusk meowed.

Mapleshade stopped grooming herself and looked up at him. "They lived with your Clan for a while, didn't they? Were you close with them?"

Appledusk looked at his paws, lost in thought. "Not really. I liked Kestrel. She was nice. Beatrice and Katy were nice, too. They were formerly kittypets, and you could tell. Ramona was okay, but I didn't talk to her much. The others were your typical rogue: brash, rough around the edges, think they know it all."

"What about Foxglove?" Mapleshade murmured. Images from that night flashed through her mind once more. Birchface, foaming at the mouth, at the edge of death. Foxglove's head hitting the rock, her eyes going dim as her blood began to pool down towards Mapleshade's paws—

"Hey, are you okay?" Appledusk nudged her shoulder.

Mapleshade snapped out of it. She looked at him, wide-eyed. It was at that moment she realized she was shaking. Whatever Appledusk had said about Foxglove, she had missed. "Yeah. Fine." She gave her chest a couple of embarrassed licks.

"You were shaking, and you got this look in your eyes. I was worried."

"I'm fine."

Appledusk pressed closer to her. "Are you cold?"

"A little, but I'll be fine once I've groomed myself. All this rain has messed up my pelt." She began licking her tail, trying to get rid of all the knots that had gathered in her fur.

Suddenly, she felt Appledusk's tongue rasp along her back. Mapleshade straightened up, giving him an odd look. He held a twig in his mouth, spitting it out.

"That was caught in your fur," he explained.

The fur along her spine rippled. "Thank you," she meowed awkwardly, going back to grooming her tail. Once she felt clean enough, Mapleshade laid down with her paws tucked beneath her.

A strong wind blew through the gap in the wall, causing her to shiver. Appledusk settled down in front of her, blocking her from the wind. Mapleshade moved closer to him, grateful for the touch of his fur as another gust of wind rattled the rafters above them.

StarClan, please keep Nettlekit warm and dry, she pleaded, but the sky was devoid of her ancestors once again.

"Do you think StarClan is watching over us from here?" she whispered after a long bout of silence.

"I don't see why they couldn't be watching over us," Appledusk said. "The sky stretches beyond the forest, after all."

"Sometimes I feel as if they've abandoned me. Everything seems to be going wrong lately. Birchface hasn't been the same since that battle, and then my father and two other Clanmates were poisoned. And now Nettlekit's been taken. I just don't know what to think." Mapleshade stared at the sky, silently begging for one star to appear in the sky, but none did.

"I'm sorry for your loss," Appledusk whispered. "I know this isn't much consolidation, but whenever I find myself missing someone, I try to tell myself that they're in a better place. They'll never have to worry about fighting another battle or going hungry. There are no more pointless border skirmishes. Cats from all Clans are free to go wherever they please and be friends with whoever they want. In a way, they're better off in StarClan than they ever were down here."

Mapleshade tilted her head to the side. "How do you know that?"

"My sister is a medicine cat, remember?"

"I thought medicine cats weren't allowed to share their dreams with other cats?"

"They're not supposed to, but sometimes it doesn't hurt." A wistful look crossed Appledusk's face as he continued, "We had another sister named Cherrypaw. The three of us were very close growing up. We would always sneak out of camp, looking for the next discovery beyond our camp's walls. One day, Cherrypaw and I sneaked out just before a storm broke. She slipped on a wet stone while trying to cross the river and went under. I tried to save her, but it was too late." The wistful look was replaced by one of remorse.

"I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what it's like to lose a littermate like that." Mapleshade frowned.

"My mother blames me for her death. She hasn't liked me much since. She only tolerates me because she has to, but I know better. She'd chase me away if Darkstar permitted her," Appledusk muttered.

"What? It wasn't your fault Cherrypaw drowned," Mapleshade pointed out.

"I know, but Redtail doesn't see it that way. In her eyes, we should've known better. We should've stayed in camp and done what we were supposed to." Appledusk sighed. "In a way, I understand. We weren't following the warrior code. But Mapleshade—" Appledusk stood up and began to pace, his words growing more and more frustrated, "I'm tired of being held back by rules that were made up a long time ago by long-dead cats. Maybe those rules worked for them, but why should we have to follow them now? Why can't things be different? Instead of spending so much time at each other's throats, the Clans should be working together. We all face the same problems after all."

Mapleshade flexed her claws. "It sounds good in theory, but it would never work. StarClan allowed the Clans to create the warrior code for a reason. It's the only thing separating us from the rogues. They have no code, but their lives aren't any easier," she argued.

"Their lives are hard because it's every cat for themselves. The Clans are different. We have structure and order. We care for our elders, and train and protect our kits."

"That's because the warrior code commands us to," Mapleshade pointed out.

"Do you really need a set of rules telling you what to do to be a good cat?" Appledusk stared at her. Mapleshade looked away, unable to think of a counter. Appledusk was right. She didn't do those things because the warrior code told her to — it just came naturally.

"You realize you're breaking the warrior code right now, don't you? Abandoning your Clan without saying a word, going into RiverClan's territory without permission, running away with me," Appledusk continued.

Mapleshade's neck fur began to bristle. "We aren't running away together. You're helping me look for Nettlekit. I doubt any cat could find fault in that."

"But you see how the warrior code holds us back?" Appledusk's gaze was gentler now. "Mapleshade, I don't think you realize how much you're missing out of life because of it. Haven't you ever wondered what lies beyond ThunderClan's territory, or wondered what life in another Clan is like? I think every cat would be happier if we focused on getting along, instead of pretending to be enemies. We aren't that different at the end of the day. If it works in StarClan, why can't it work for the living?"

The conversation tapered out after that. Mapleshade shifted several times trying to get comfortable, but sleep never came.

"Are you unhappy in RiverClan? Is that why you feel this way?" she whispered, unsure if Appledusk was even awake.

Appledusk rolled over to face her, but he didn't say anything for a long time. "I don't know. On one paw, I love the river and the life I've built in my Clan. But something is missing. You're lucky you've never experienced that."

"Have you ever told any cat how you feel — Cloudberry or Reedshine?" Mapleshade asked.

"Reedshine? Why would I tell her?"

"She's your friend, isn't she? Or your mate?"

Appledusk let out an amused purr. "Reedshine is not my mate, thank StarClan!"

Mapleshade frowned. "You don't like her? But I always see the two of you sitting together at the Gatherings."

"You've met her before. Tell me if you like her," Appledusk said.

"Not particularly, but that's only because she's a RiverClan cat."

"I'm a RiverClan cat."

"My point exactly," Mapleshade joked. Appledusk batted a sheathed paw over her ear, letting out another purr of amusement.

"Anyway, think of every encounter you've had with Reedshine, and imagine having to put up with that every day. It's exhausting," Appledusk said.

"She's really not any better?"

"Nope."

"I'm so sorry."

"I know. It's so hard to deal with. Maybe I could come live in ThunderClan with you?" Appledusk teased.

"ThunderClan doesn't take in strays."

"Well, I think I heard somewhere that RiverClan does."

Mapleshade shot him a look, annoyed at the mere implication of his words. "Like I'd ever want to live in RiverClan."

"Why not?"

"Why not? For one thing, swimming is completely unnatural! There's a reason why RiverClan is the only Clan willing to throw themselves into the water, and that's because you're all born with thistle down for brains."

"We're actually born with duck down. A huge difference."

"Oh, right. I'm sorry."

"It's what makes our pelts so sleek and water-repellent."

Mapleshade shook her head. "You're ridiculous."

"I'm serious! It's our special trait, just like the squirrel fur that lines your skull."

"Squirrel fur?" This time, Mapleshade batted at him.

Appledusk rolled away. "You missed."

"I'm going easy on you. If I wanted to, I'd have you running out of here with your tail between your legs," Mapleshade said, batting at him again. She then launched herself at him, wrestling him to the ground. Appledusk shouldered his way out of her grip before pinning her.

"Are you sure about that?" He stared down at her. Stepping off, he gave his chest a couple of licks. "It's getting late. Let's get some sleep."

Another wave washed overhead, knocking Mapleshade under the surface. She thrashed as hard as she could, trying to propel herself back to the surface, but it was useless. She was losing too much energy, her lungs burning for oxygen.

Don't panic, Appledusk's voice sounded in her head.

Mapleshade stopped struggling, allowing her body to go limp. As the current carried her downstream, she could feel another pelt brushing against her. Thinking it was Appledusk, she turned.

Goldenmist swam toward her, a determined look in her eyes.

What are you doing here? Mapleshade wondered. She paddled toward her Clanmate, a surge of hope in her chest. But when she reached Goldenmist, her Clanmate shoved her back, pushing her deeper into the water.

What are you doing? Mapleshade sputtered, choking on the water that flooded her mouth and lungs. She tried to claw at Goldenmist, but her movements were too slow in the water. Goldenmist continued to shove her underwater.

Stop! Stop! You're my Clanmate! What are you doing? Can't you see you're drowning me?

Mapleshade's mouth filled with the taste of blood, and for a moment she thought it belonged to her. Opening her eyes, she recoiled in horror, watching as Goldenmist's lifeless body floated away from her, red mist spurting from the gash in her throat.

With the last bit of her energy, Mapleshade swam toward her, grabbing Goldenmist by the scruff. Breaking the surface, Mapleshade headed to shore, collapsing immediately.

A shadow fell over her. Looking up, Mapleshade saw Birchface standing there. Goldenmist flanked him, alive and well. Her eyes blazed with fury, her lips curled into a snarl.

"I thought we told you two to never come back," Birchface hissed.

Mapleshade turned her head to where she had placed Goldenmist's dead body, only to see it had been replaced with Appledusk's. Blood trickled from the gash in his neck. "Appledusk?" Mapleshade crawled over to him, prodding him with a paw.

As soon as she touched him, his body was replaced with Dawnfeather's. Two small, lifeless kits were curled at her side.

"This is all your fault!" Goldenmist shrieked. She tackled Mapleshade, pushing her back into the shallows. Mapleshade shrank down in the water, staring at her Clanmates with confusion and horror.

"You're not going to fight back? Coward!" Goldenmist splashed Mapleshade in the face.

"She always has been," Birchface called, coming to join his sister in the water. Together they pinned Mapleshade down, shoving her head underwater once again.

Mapleshade stared at their blurred figures, trying to figure out where she had gone so wrong. Despite holding her breath, her lungs filled with water anyway. Please, stop! Don't do this!

Mapleshade's eyes shot open. She sat up, chest heaving. She let out a sigh of relief, realizing it was just a nightmare. Lightning illuminated the night sky, highlighting the rain that fell through the gap in the roof. Appledusk was curled up in the corner, fast asleep.

Mapleshade didn't sleep the rest of the night.