The best gift is love
Addison & Derek
Grey's Anatomy Fan-Fiction
It was Christmas Eve, and the air was filled with the magic of the season. The bustling sidewalks of 5th Avenue were lined with sparkling lights and festive decorations, but Addison Montgomery felt oddly detached from the holiday cheer. As she walked with her daughter, the usual excitement of Christmas seemed just out of reach.
"Mommy, look!" Maddie's voice was full of wonder. The little girl was captivated by the elaborate toy display in a store window, her breath fogging up the glass. With her fiery red hair and striking pale blue eyes, Maddie was a vision of innocence. Snowflakes gently settled on her curls, making her look even more angelic.
Addison smiled at her daughter, though her heart was heavy with unspoken worries. Maddie's resemblance to her was unmistakable, but there was also a spark of Derek in her, especially in her smile. It was a constant, bittersweet reminder of the past.
"Isn't it beautiful?" Addison asked, trying to match Maddie's enthusiasm. She squeezed her daughter's hand, drawing comfort from the warmth of that tiny grip.
Maddie nodded, her eyes wide with excitement. "Can we go inside, Mommy? Please?" Her voice was full of hope, and Addison couldn't help but chuckle softly.
"Of course, sweetie," she said, leading Maddie into the store. Inside, they were greeted by a wonderland of toys and decorations. Maddie's face lit up as she darted from one display to another, her laughter ringing out like a melody.
As she watched her daughter, Addison couldn't shake the thoughts that had been nagging at her. One day, Maddie would start asking about her father. How could she explain Derek's absence? How could she tell her the truth without breaking her heart?
Addison had always promised herself that she wouldn't lie to Maddie. But the truth was complicated. Derek had no idea that Maddie existed. Addison had left that part of her life behind, believing it was for the best. But now, watching her daughter's joyous exploration, she wondered if she had made the right choice.
"Mommy, look at this!" Maddie's excited voice pulled Addison from her thoughts. She was holding up a plush toy, her eyes shining with joy.
"That's adorable," Addison said, her voice warm. She crouched down to Maddie's level, brushing a stray curl from her daughter's face. "Do you want to get it?"
Maddie nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, please!"
As they made their way to the checkout, Addison felt a mix of emotions. Christmas was supposed to be a time of happiness and togetherness, but for her, it was also a time of reflection and unanswered questions. She hoped that someday, she would find a way to give Maddie the answers she deserved, and maybe even find some peace for herself.
After leaving the toy store, Addison and Maddie continued their walk along 5th Avenue. The city was alive with holiday spirit; carolers sang on the corners, and the smell of roasted chestnuts filled the air. Addison pulled Maddie's little coat tighter against the chill, feeling grateful for these small moments of warmth and connection.
As they reached the end of the block, Addison felt a slight tug on her hand. Maddie had stopped to stare at a group of children gathered around a Salvation Army Santa, ringing his bell and handing out candy canes.
"Can we give something too, Mommy?" Maddie asked, her eyes filled with a mixture of curiosity and compassion.
"Of course," Addison replied, fishing in her purse for some change. As she dropped a few coins into the red kettle, Maddie beamed at the Santa, who handed her a candy cane with a jolly "Ho, ho, ho!"
"Thank you, Santa!" Maddie chirped, her voice full of genuine delight. Addison couldn't help but smile at her daughter's innocent joy. It was these moments that made everything worthwhile.
As they turned to leave, Addison's heart suddenly skipped a beat. Across the street, she spotted a familiar figure. The tall, confident stride, the dark hair flecked with a bit of gray—it had to be Derek Shepherd. He was walking with a group of colleagues, deep in conversation, completely unaware of her presence.
For a moment, time seemed to stand still. Memories flooded back, each one more poignant than the last. The laughter they had shared, the dreams they had built together, and the heartbreak that had eventually driven them apart. Addison's breath caught in her throat, and she instinctively tightened her grip on Maddie's hand.
"Mommy, are you okay?" Maddie's concerned voice broke through Addison's thoughts. She looked down to see Maddie's eyes wide with worry.
"Yes, sweetie. I'm fine," Addison reassured her, forcing a smile. "Just... saw someone I used to know."
But as the man moved on, disappearing into the crowd, Addison's initial shock began to fade. She realized that it wasn't Derek after all—just someone who looked strikingly similar. Relief mixed with a strange sense of disappointment washed over her. She had never expected to see him again, especially not here, not like this. The sight, even if mistaken, had brought back all the unresolved feelings she had buried for so long.
"Let's keep walking," she said softly, leading Maddie away from the crowded street corner. She tried to refocus on the festive atmosphere, but her mind was racing. What if Derek had been here? What if he had seen them? What would she have done?
As they walked away, Addison's thoughts drifted back to the decision she had made earlier that day. She had found Maddie's letter to Santa, written on pink paper usually filled with lists of toys and games. This year, Maddie's letter had held a single, heartbreaking wish:
Dear Santa, this year I don't want any toys or games. I just want you to give me my daddy.
Addison's eyes had filled with tears as she read her daughter's heartfelt request. That simple wish had shattered her resolve. She couldn't continue to keep the truth from Derek. He deserved to know about Maddie, and Maddie deserved to know her father.
As they continued their walk, Addison felt a wave of determination wash over her. She would give Maddie her Christmas wish. Tomorrow, she would find a way to contact Derek and tell him everything. The thought of the upcoming conversation filled her with both fear and a strange sense of relief.
For tonight, though, she would focus on the simple joy of being with her daughter, cherishing these moments of pure, unadulterated love. As they strolled through the softly falling snow, Addison squeezed Maddie's hand a little tighter, promising herself that she would make things right.
-/-
It was late when Maddie finally fell asleep, her small form nestled under the cozy covers. She looked like an angel, her red curls spread out on the pillow and a serene expression on her face. Addison stood in the doorway of her daughter's room for a moment longer, watching the gentle rise and fall of her chest. Maddie was her world, her most precious treasure.
Quietly, Addison closed the door and walked back to the living room. The glow of the Christmas tree filled the room with a warm, golden light. The tree was adorned with ornaments, each one holding a special memory, and beneath it, a pile of gifts wrapped in bright, festive paper awaited the excitement of Christmas morning.
Addison sank into the plush sofa, her gaze fixed on the twinkling lights. She had always loved Christmas—the magic in the air, the softly falling snow, the infectious joy that seemed to touch everyone. In New York, the holiday season transformed the city into a wonderland, and Addison cherished every moment of it.
But tonight, the usual warmth of the season was tinged with uncertainty. Her thoughts drifted back to Maddie's letter to Santa, the innocent request that had pierced her heart. She couldn't keep the truth from her daughter any longer. Maddie deserved to know her father, to have him in her life, to experience the normalcy that other children took for granted.
Addison picked up her BlackBerry from the coffee table and scrolled through her contacts. Her finger hovered over a familiar name—Derek Shepherd. It felt like a lifetime ago when he had been "Honey" in her phone, a term of endearment from a past life that now seemed like a distant dream. The name on her screen now, stark and formal, was a reminder of how far apart they had drifted.
She took a deep breath, her heart pounding as she stared at the name. The idea of calling him had seemed so straightforward in the abstract, but now, the reality of it was overwhelming. How would he react? Would he be angry? Shocked? Confused? The possibilities swirled in her mind, each one bringing a new wave of anxiety.
Addison knew that this was the right thing to do. Maddie deserved to know her father, and Derek deserved to know he had a daughter. No matter how difficult this conversation might be, she couldn't let fear hold her back.
With trembling fingers, she pressed the call button. The phone rang, each second stretching into what felt like an eternity. Just as she was about to lose her nerve, there was a click, and a familiar voice answered on the other end.
"Hello?"
Addison's breath caught in her throat. It had been so long since she had heard his voice, and the sound of it brought a flood of memories rushing back.
"Derek, it's Addison," she said, her voice steady despite the storm of emotions inside her.
There was a moment of stunned silence, and then he responded, "Addison? Wow, this is... unexpected. How are you?"
Addison opened her mouth to speak, but the words caught in her throat. How could she possibly start? "I... I'm okay," she stammered, her voice shaky. "I mean, I've been better, but... I needed to talk to you."
"Are you alright?" Derek's voice softened with concern. "You sound... off. What's going on?"
Addison hesitated, her fingers clenching around the phone. "I'm sorry, Derek. I know this is out of the blue. I've been meaning to call for so long, but... I didn't know how. I didn't know if I should."
"Addison, whatever it is, you can tell me," Derek said gently. "Take your time. Breathe."
She took a deep breath, but it did little to calm her nerves. Her mind raced with all the things she wanted to say, all the explanations and justifications she had rehearsed. But none of them seemed adequate. How could she condense four years of silence and secrets into a single conversation?
"Derek, there's something I need to tell you," she began again, her voice trembling. "Something I should have told you a long time ago. I... I don't even know where to start."
"Hey, it's okay," Derek's voice was soothing, trying to calm her down. "Just start from the beginning. Whatever it is, we'll figure it out."
Addison could feel the panic rising in her chest, the weight of her secret pressing down on her. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, tears streaming down her face. "I've been so unfair to you. And to Maddie."
"Maddie?" Derek repeated, confusion evident in his voice. "Addison, who's Maddie?"
Addison took a shaky breath, her heart pounding in her ears. This was it. There was no turning back now. "Maddie is my daughter," she said, the words tumbling out in a rush. "Our daughter. She's four years old, Derek. I found out I was pregnant after I left Seattle. Maddie is your daughter."
The silence that followed was deafening. Addison could almost hear Derek's shock and confusion over the line. When he finally spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper. "My... daughter? Addison, are you... are you serious?"
"Yes, I'm serious," Addison replied, her voice cracking with emotion. "I know I should have told you sooner. I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping it from you, by letting you move on. But I was wrong. Maddie deserves to know you. She's been asking about her father, and... she wrote a letter to Santa asking for you this Christmas."
Derek's voice was filled with a mixture of disbelief and raw emotion. "Addison, I... I don't know what to say. I need to process this. But... I want to meet her. I want to be part of her life. Oh god I have a daughter..."
Addison's heart skipped a beat at Derek's faltering words. His confusion mirrored her own, amplifying her anxiety. "I understand, Derek," she said softly, her voice tinged with uncertainty. "It's a lot to take in. But... I want that too. For both of you."
"My daughter's name is Maddie?"
"Oh yes... She is Madeleine Anne. I'm sorry Derek, I know you would have wanted to know earlier but..."
"Me and Meredith broke up a month after you left. I realized that she wasn't who I truly loved. She was simply an anti-Addison. But as soon as we broke up, I realized that she wasn't who I was looking for..." He couldn't help but confess, his words rushing out. "Where are you, Addie? Please tell me where you are?"
"We're in New York, Derek. That's where we've been all this time."
"I'm coming. Tomorrow morning, I'll be there! I promise!" His voice was filled with determination, a newfound purpose driving him forward.
"Thank you," she said, a wave of relief washing over her. "Good night, Derek."
"Good night, Addie." There was a warmth in his voice, a familiar warmth...
As Addison ended the call, she sat back on the sofa, a mixture of exhaustion and hope washing over her. The hardest part was over, but the journey was just beginning. She looked at the Christmas tree again, its lights twinkling softly in the darkened room, and felt a glimmer of optimism. Maybe, just maybe, this Christmas would bring the miracle she and Maddie needed.
-/-
Addison didn't sleep; she tried, but failed completely. It came to a point where she went to her daughter's room and watched her sleep, reminding herself that Maddie was her everything. She couldn't help but think about what would have happened if she had told Derek about her pregnancy. Would they be happy? Would he push her away from Maddie?
At six in the morning, she decided to get dressed and prepared for the day. Opting for comfort over style, she exchanged her elegant attire for a cozy sweater and a pair of jeans, embracing the warmth and familiarity they offered. Looking at herself in the mirror, she took a deep breath, finding solace in the simplicity of her appearance.
She went to the living room and sat, marveling at the rush of people already bustling about the city. "The city that never sleeps," she mused. Suddenly, the doorbell rang, and she was startled. Opening the door, there he was, wearing a long jacket to ward off the cold and snow.
"Addie."
"Good morning, Derek," she said. "You're freezing. Come in."
She ushered him inside. Derek looked around, taking in the familiar surroundings. Everything seemed to be just as he remembered, with a few new portraits and some toys scattered on the floor. Addison had purposely left things unchanged in their home, hoping that it would help her hold onto her memories of him.
"Addie, why?" Derek asked.
"We need to talk... have a seat"
"Please, Addison," he replied. "You should have told me. My daughter is four years old, and I've never met her. I could have been there!"
Addison took a deep breath, and they both sat down on the couch. She told him the whole story.
"I know that whatever I'm about to tell you will never justify what I did, but please give a chance... After I found out I was pregnant, I was planning to move to California," Addison began, her voice tinged with emotion. "But something inside me knew I had to come back home to New York. It's where I felt safe, where I felt like myself. I wanted to tell you before I left, Derek, I really did. But seeing you so happy with Meredith... I couldn't bring myself to ruin that for you. So, I kept the pregnancy a secret. I wanted to tell you, I really did. But every time I tried, I just couldn't find the words."
"And that's it! There you have it, Derek—the whole truth. I'm so sorry for not telling you."
Derek listened intently, his expression softening as he took in Addison's words. "I understand, Addison," he said gently. "I can't imagine how difficult that must have been for you. But now that I know about Maddie... I want to be a part of her life. I want to make up for lost time."
"Our time in Seattle was painful for you. I get it. I was a jerk, and I didn't deserve to know about her..."
"I'm sorry. I know you must hate me, and rightfully so, but please don't hate Maddie. She's wonderful, and she's your daughter!"
"I could never hate you... I..." Derek found himself unable to look away from her eyes. "Where is Maddie?"
"Still asleep, wait here, I will talk to her ok?"
Derek remained in the living room, sitting near the Christmas tree, lost in a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. His mind raced with a thousand questions, a thousand uncertainties. He was lost in contemplation, the weight of the moment bearing down on him.
After what felt like an eternity, he heard the soft patter of tiny footsteps. Slowly, he looked up to see his four-year-old daughter for the first time. Maddie was the spitting image of Addison, with her mother's features and vibrant red hair. But as she approached, Derek noticed something unmistakably his own—the same dimpled smile that adorned his face.
Maddie's eyes sparkled with curiosity and innocence as she took in the sight of her father. Derek's heart swelled with love and wonder as he held her gaze, realizing in that moment the incredible bond they shared.
Before Derek could speak, Maddie broke the silence. "Mommy says you're my daddy, and that Santa made my wish come true... is it true?" she asked, her voice soft but filled with hope.
Maddie waited eagerly for Derek's response, her eyes fixed on him with hopeful anticipation. Derek, still in disbelief, knelt down to her level and said, "It's true, Maddie. Santa took a while to find me, but he did, and now nothing will ever keep us apart."
Maddie nodded in understanding, a small smile spreading across her face. Without hesitation, she threw herself into Derek's arms, embracing her father for the first time. The scene was heartwarming and emotional—Addison stood in the doorway, tears streaming down her cheeks, while Derek, overcome with emotion, also shed tears of joy.
Confused by the tears, Maddie looked up at Derek "Are you sad Daddy?". Through his tears, Derek managed a smile and reassured her, "No, sweetheart, these are happy tears. I love you so much Maddie."
In that moment, surrounded by love and newfound family, Maddie felt a sense of warmth and belonging like never before. "I love you too Daddy"
-/-
It was eleven pm when Maddie finally drifted off to sleep. Derek had just finished reading her a bedtime story.
"So the prince and the princess lived happily ever after. The end," Derek concluded. "Good night, Maddie."
"Good night, Daddy," she replied sleepily. "Good night, Mommy."
After kissing her forehead and wishing her sweet dreams, they left her room. It had been the best Christmas ever, but Derek felt like something was missing.
"She's perfect. So sweet and kind," Derek marveled at his daughter. "She's absolutely lovely."
"I know. I'm very lucky," Addison agreed. "But sometimes, when I pick her up from ballet, it's so late that she falls asleep in the car. I love her so much, Derek. She's my whole life, you know..."
"Thank you," he said sincerely. "Thank you for giving me a perfect little daughter like her. She's every parent's dream." With that, he leaned in and kissed her, unable to resist. The kiss was tender and passionate, leaving them both smiling when they pulled apart for just a moment.
"I love you, Addie," Derek whispered.
"I love you too, Derek," she replied between kisses. "Please, never leave me again."
"Never, Addie. We're meant to be together, forever and ever."
They kissed once more, knowing that now, nothing and no one could ever tear them apart.