The setting of Tatooine's twin suns painted the jagged landscape in hues ranging deep blue to striking orange, giving the planet a grand and desolate beauty.
A beauty that Obi-wan couldn't bring himself to appreciate while he struggled through the scorched sandy wastes. In hindsight it had been fortunate that he had stayed with the ship when he and Qui-gon had visited the planet so long ago.
And also in hindsight he probably should have rented a speeder for his visit but it had felt like a waste for such a relatively short trip, especially when Obi-wan knew that he could (and had) managed under more difficult conditions.
The mistake was an opportunity to learn, Obi-wan reflected as his destination came into sight.
A small house, though the term 'hut' may have been more appropriate, sat on top of a ridge in the depths of the Jundland Wastes. The Jedi Master stopped outside the front door. He knew the occupant would have sensed his arrival.
After a minute, the door slowly opened and out stepped his former padawan.
It was clear that Anakin Skywalker had seen better days. His face had grown rugged, deep lines carved into his skin. His hair had grown longer and wilder. And he carried himself differently- more hesitant. His bearing no longer shouted a challenge at the galaxy, that the Hero With No Fear could handle whatever it threw at him.
Even in the Force he felt different. No longer was Obi-wan's apprentice a blazing beacon in his senses. To Obi-wan, Anakin's light seemed calmer, less restless, and… cleaner?
"Master?" Anakin asked, almost like he doubted what his senses were telling him. "What are you doing here?"
"It's been ten years, Anakin. You should've known that I'd visit you eventually."
The interior of the house was better organized than Obi-wan had expected. Anakin had never been messy, per say, but his temple quarters had always been cluttered, and his workbench had been a lesson in how chaos was a harmony that one simply lacked the understanding of. How he had kept track of his projects and parts Obi-wan never could understand, but accepted that it was a system that worked for Anakin.
His current quarters were stark and bare, only containing the essentials, packed away neatly when they weren't needed. The only furniture was a cot, a table, and a single chair that Anakin was offering to Obi-wan.
"No, no, Anakin, I can sit on the floor," Obi-wan said. "I'm not going to steal your only seat-"
"Master, I insist," Anakin replied. "Let me play at being a good host. I don't often get the opportunity."
"Anakin, you have to live here," Obi-wan shot back. "I'm merely visiting. Do this old man a mercy and don't make yourself suffer for my sake. My conscience couldn't handle it."
He felt something flicker from Anakin in the Force, too quick to be comprehended. Anakin conceded the subject by sitting down in the chair.
"I do have to say I'm surprised," Obi-wan went on, looking around the small house. "I would have expected a workbench at least. I know you made that model speeder with a mini-repulsorlift that you sent Luke for his birthday."
"I borrow one in town whenever I need one."
"And speaking of birthday presents, where did you find that crystal formation that you sent Leia?"
"Did she like it?" Anakin brightened up, looking more like the knight and padawan that Obi-wan had known. "I knew Luke would love the speeder, but-"
"Yes, Leia loved it," Obi-wan reassured him. "She has it displayed on the top of her dresser and Padme says that she likes to show it off to visitors."
"How is Padme? I feel like there are some things she's hiding from me in her messages."
"She's under a lot of stress," Obi-wan admitted. "Between managing the reformist faction in the Senate and alternatively supporting and fighting with Supreme Chancellor Organa there hasn't been much downtime available for her."
"She and Bail aren't getting along?"
"Oh, no, they're still close friends. In fact Leia calls him 'Uncle Bail'. He and Padme clash over matters of policy but they both still understand that the other is coming from a place of honest compassion. They also know to leave their political disagreements in the Senate building."
"Besides," Obi-wan smirked, "the Chancellor is going to have the last laugh when he gives up his position once she has enough support."
Anakin snorted. "I think he's underestimating her if he doesn't know that she'll pay him back tenfold for any headaches he's caused her."
"So, I've warned him," Obi-wan's smirk relaxed into a smile. "But they've already passed Bail's flagship reforms and the legislation to establish the Republic Guard. Bail will most likely only stay in the Senate to get Padme's grand reforms and reorganization passed before retiring to Alderaan."
"If he thinks that will save him, then he's got another thing coming," Anakin said, looking unimpressed.
"If the situation becomes that desperate, I'm sure Master Yoda can recommend a planet for Bail to hide on," Obi-wan replied. "Speaking of Yoda, he misses you, or at least the chaos you'd leave for the council to clean up."
"He's had nine hundred years to learn to live with the boredom," Anakin replied. "I'm sure he can manage."
"And Ashoka wishes you were there so she could ask if the troubles her padawan is giving her is karma for her own apprenticeship."
"Did you tell her yes? That a padawan's job is to make their master sympathize with their own master? Though I don't think Snips caused me as many headaches as I caused you."
"If I go grey prematurely it will be your fault," Obi-wan said, shooting his apprentice a mock glare, before it softened into a smile once again. "But you more than made up for it, Anakin."
Anakin looked down at the table, no longer meeting Obi-wan's eyes.
They were silent for a long minute before Obi-wan spoke up again.
"Why?"
"Why what, Master?"
"Why are you here? Why have you spent the last decade on Tatooine instead of with the Order or with your children?" Obi-wan asked with a heavy sigh, getting to the question that had bothered him for many a long year. "I knew you needed your space after Sidious so I didn't pry, but I would've expected something before a decade had passed. All of us really."
"Ther- there's something I need to do here, Master," Anakin said, eyes shifting around the small space.
"What, Anakin, what could it be?"
Obi-wan could feel the Force shift at his question, could feel Anakin's light dimming like the fading light of the Tatooine day.
Anakin made several false starts to say something before taking a deep breath, staring down at the table.
"What do you know about the time Padme and I visited here, just before Genonsis," he asked finally.
"When your mother died?" Obi-wan asked, reaching out to put a gentle hand on Anakin's shoulder. "I know enough."
Anakin was gripping the table and taking steady breaths to center himself, flickering in the Force the whole while.
"There was more that happened," he managed to get out. "When I found her… she had been tortured by Tuskens… I…"
Obi-wan waited for him to finish, not taking his hand off of his padawan's shoulder.
"She wasn't dead… I held her, I felt her pain…" Anakin swallowed. Obi-wan would have thought that he was fighting through his grief but he was feeling guilt coming from Anakin through the Force.
"Anakin, it wasn't your fault-"
Anakin's emotions became a conflicting clashing maelstrom. His breath hitched and he started to say something before taking a deep breath and centering himself. The storm stilled as Anakin Skywalker braced himself.
"Yes Master, her death was not my fault, but what happened next was."
Obi-wan's heart dropped even though he didn't know what Anakin was going to say next.
"They were holding her in the middle of their camp," Anakin continued. "I cut my way out of the tent and then- and then-"
He swallowed again.
"And then I cut them down. Each and every one of them."
Obi-wan didn't understand. He couldn't comprehend what his padawan was saying-
Anakin finally met Obi-wan's eyes and Obi-wan was nearly overwhelmed by the waves of guilt and fear he could feel coming from his former apprentice.
"Everyone from the warriors to the children. I cut them all down with my lightsaber, deliberately." Anakin confessed, before his gaze dropped again. "I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I did it anyway. I wanted to make them hurt like I was hurting."
Obi-wan couldn't say anything.
His view of the galaxy had been irrevocably shattered with only a few sentences and he couldn't even react.
He was lost in space without a chart or an astromech. He was adrift in the deserts of Tatooine during a sandstorm.
He had never imagined, never could have imagined, Anakin, the bright young boy that he had watched grow up and had the privilege of teaching, could ever… no, not Anakin…
He was numb, he couldn't believe it, this had to be a nightmare-
"I have no excuse," Anakin went on, still staring down at the table. "It was my choice. I knew it wouldn't improve anything. The tribe I wiped out was replaced with another soon enough. It changed nothing. It didn't do anything to help my mother. And I knew all that and did it anyway."
"Anakin…" Obi-wan said, but found himself at a loss for words.
"I just hated them," Anakin said, taking a deep shaky breath. "They were a primitive people living in a harsh environment whose contact with the wider galaxy was having their planet ruled by the KRIFFING Hutts. I, of all people, of all Jedi, know how that can shape sentients and I didn't care."
"And I should've cared," Anakin said, once again meeting Obi-wan's eyes. "It's something I realized while I was standing over Sidious' body. When I killed them, the Tuskens and Sidious, I was only thinking about the people close to me- no, I was only thinking about myself. I realized that if you hadn't managed to return to Coruscant, then- then Force only knows what I might have done."
Obi-wan still had no words. He didn't believe what his apprentice was saying. Even if Anakin had done wrong, so much wrong, he would've never…
"I was never the Jedi you thought I was, that Ashoka thought I was," Anakin went on. "I couldn't be, not after what I had done. So, I returned to Tatooine to try and make up for what I did. I've been making what reparations I can."
Anakin was then silent.
It took Obi-wan a moment to speak, his mouth was suddenly as dry as the deepest deserts of Tatooine.
"What form have these reparations taken?" Obi-wan finally managed to ask, trying to continue the conversation so that he could center himself. His heart felt fragile, like a thin sheet of glass covered in a spiderweb of cracks, ready to shatter at a single touch.
"I've been trying to improve this Force-forsaken planet," Anakin answered. "I've been handling negotiations between the moisture farmers and the Tuskens, stopping the hutts from stirring up trouble, and I've been helping the various slave escape trains. It's been hard work."
Obi-wan remembered a piece of interesting news that had made its way to the Core.
"Hmm… and does this perhaps relate to the death of Jabba at the hands of Tusken Raiders?" Obi-wan asked, searching for safer ground.
Anakin flashed a shadow of his old smile.
"What can I say, Master? It turns out that when the farmers and the Tuskens work together they can accomplish great things." He then faked a small cough. "With a little assistance of course."
His smile vanished once again.
"It's been one of the few times I honestly felt like the Jedi you and Ashoka thought I was. The Jedi I wanted to be. The Jedi I want Luke and Leia to know."
"What about Padme?" Obi-wan asked, struck by a sudden insight. "She's the only one you send messages to. Does she know?"
"I confessed to her right after I did it," Anakin admitted. "She and Sidious were the only ones who knew and yes-" he said when he saw the horror on Obi-wan's face "- looking back, it scares me that he was the only other one who knew the truth. It certainly didn't say anything good about me."
"But Padme, well she didn't excuse my actions exactly, but she was more concerned about me then what I had done." Anakin went on. "I think she didn't understand how I did it. Or maybe she thought I was exaggerating because of my guilt. I never asked her because I never wanted to think about it again. If I never spoke about it again, if I never thought about it again it would've been too soon."
"But you're talking about it now," Obi-wan pointed out, his heart trying to seize any hope to strengthen itself.
"I can talk about it now that I've faced what I've done," Anakin told him. "Now that I'm fixing things I'm learning to let go of my fear. Heh, 'Hero with No Fear'... Sidious knew exactly what buttons to push."
"He was a skilled manipulator," Obi-wan agreed.
"But he's gone and I'm getting better," Anakin's gaze grew resolute. "And one day I'll come back. I'll confess what I did to the Order and to my children and still be able to face them."
He took another deep, shaking breath. Beneath the ruggedness his return to Tatooine had inflicted on him, beneath the scars the Clone Wars had left on him, Obi-wan could see the scared nine-year-old boy that he had taken on as a padawan.
"And Master, I'm sorry for letting you down."
"Oh, Anakin," Obi-wan's heart did break at that and he did the only thing he could in that moment.
He drew Anakin into his embrace.
He heard Anakin's breath hitch, felt his padawan bury his face in his shoulder, and felt the dampness soak through his robes as his brother cried.
"I'm sorry- I'm sorry- imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry"
"I know Anakin, I know," Obi-wan told him, gently holding him, accepting the fear, guilt, and grief he was flooding the Force with.
"You- don't- need- to pretend that you still-"
"Anakin, there's nothing you can do that would make me stop loving you," Obi-wan clutched his padawan tight and he hoped that Anakin could feel the absolute truth in his words.
Planets could burn, stars could be snuffed out, and the galaxy itself could sink into darkness but Obi-wan would always love Anakin.
And maybe one day maybe Anakin could let go of his fear enough to understand that.
Obi-wan could wait as long as Anakin needed, because the Force told him that no matter what, that day would come, sure as the binary suns of Tatooine would set.
AN: I'd like to thank WaffleDogOfficial for beta reading.
Just had this idea for a one shot because not enough people consider the Tusken massacred when talking about Anakin before he becomes Darth Vader. Its something that he needs to deal with one way or another.