Chapter 1 - Boring Job
It was a busy day in hell. Over at the I.M.P office in the pride ring, Loona the hellhound was sitting at her desk staring at her phone scrolling through her Voxtagram feed. She was waiting for her other co-workers to arrive back from their mission. She was starting to get bored with all this paperwork she had to file and phone calls from clients she had to answer.
Just then, the portal to the living world reopened and out came her co-workers, Blitz, Moxxie and Millie, as they just finished killing a group of high school students who fucked over one of their ex-friends.
"WHOO-HOO! FUCK YEAH!" Blitz exclaimed. "We took out those fuckers like they were fucking FLIES!
"Ahhh… Nothing like another killing spree to put me in a good mood!" Said Moxxie.
Millie giggled and smiled at her husband. "You said it Mox!"
Loona then groaned and rolled her eyes. "Great… The circus is back, and they're as annoying as ever." She said as she continued to stare at her phone.
Blitz then smiled and walked up to his adopted daughter and gave her a big hug causing her to growl and push him away.
"Get off of me Blitz!" She said angrily. "Don't do that shit while we're at work!"
Blitz let out a nervous chuckle. "Sorry Loonie. Just happy to see my little bundle of joy again!"
Loona rolled her eyes again. "You know you do these dumb missions almost every day." She said. "There's no need to get THAT excited to see me."
"Oh, right." Blitz said sheepishly. "So…how were things while we were gone?"
"Eh, the same usual shit." Said Loona. "Answered phone calls from annoying clients, filed more paperwork, same old, same old." She then continued to scroll through her phone.
"Well that's wonderful to hear Loonie!" Said Blitz "Glad you're getting your work done!"
Loona then groaned and started to complain. "Ugh this job is so fucking BORING!" She began. "I don't know how much longer I can take this. It is so SOUL SUCKING!'
Blitz looked at his daughter. "Hey come now Loonie," He reassured. "Your job is one of the most important jobs in my whole company! You help keep this company stable by letting us know what targets we need to kill! Without you, this company wouldn't exist!"
Loona scoffed. "Yeah, you're right. I mean it's not like you can't just find any random demon in hell and make them your receptionist. Thanks for trying to make me think I matter."
"Hmmm, well, look on the bright side, Loonie!" Said Blitz. "At least you have no one to bother you while we're out on our killing sprees?
"Are you fucking kidding me Blitz?" Loona said, looking even more annoyed "Whenever you're not here I constantly have to deal with phone calls from annoying ass clients and try to pretend to act friendly to them and it makes me want to die." Loona took a deep breath. "But hey, it distracts me from having to listen to your loud, obnoxious conversations all day, Blitz."
"Right…" Said Blitz, and then cleared his throat. "Anyways, that's it for today, gang! We all better head home because it's the weekend tomorrow! No work until Monday bitches!"
Moxxie sighed. "Ahh, nothing like a good weekend off." He said "Come on Millie my dear, let's head back home. Was thinking of taking you to a fancy restaurant this weekend!"
Millie looked excited "Ooooh! Hopefully they got good food there!" She exclaimed as she and her husband were walking out the door.
"Oh, thank god I don't have to deal with you assholes until next week." Said Loona, looking exhausted. "Let's just head home already."
"Right Loonie, let's go."
Blitz and Loona were in the I.M.P. van driving back to their apartment. As they were driving, Loona started to complain about her job again.
"Seriously, why do I still put up with this STUPID job?!" She complained. "I'm slowly starting to lose my mind! Dealing with all these annoying clients and their dumb problems is driving me absolutely insane. Can't these fuckers leave me alone for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES?!"
"Oh come now Loonie" Blitz reassured her again. "There's more to your job than just answering phone calls and filing paperwork. I mean, you're the one who opens and closes the portal to the living world!"
"Yeah," said Loona "until you gave the fucking book back to that bird brain."
"Oh….right…." Said Blitz, still thinking about his fallout with Stolas from the Full Moon. "Forgot about tha, and I wanted to continue forgetting about that." Blitz then cleared his throat and tried to lighten up. "Well, if you feel like your job is that boring, how about I start taking you out on missions once in a whi-"
"I don't want your pity Blitz." Loona interrupted him. "Not even joining your killing sprees would make this job any less boring. Ugh, why do I still work at this job anyway?"
"Oh come on, Loonie," Blitz said to her. "You work there because you're my daughter, and I have to get you involved in the business I happen to run."
"Oh don't pull the whole "You're my daughter" card out of your ass, Blitz" Loona argued. "I don't care if I'm your quote unquote "daughter", being the boss of this place doesn't automatically grant you the right to dictate my career path. Honestly, I don't even know what else to say to you at this point."
Loona continued to look away from Blitz on the rest of the van trip home. Soon enough, they arrived back at the apartment and got out of the van, grabbing all their stuff.
"Hey Blitz," said Loona. "I'm gonna go out for a drink for a while at the nightclub in Pentagram City for a while. Don't worry about me and I'll be back in a few hours."
"Okay then Loonie." Said Blitz. "But can't you just have a drink here? There's plenty of beer in the fridge."
Loona scoffed. "You REALLY think a few beers is gonna help me unwind? I need something stronger to help ease my mind after a long stressful day of answering calls from annoying clients."
Blitz looked at his adopted daughter "A-alright then." He sighed. "But be sure to be back by midnight"
"Yeah yeah, whatever ya old geezer." She sighed.
"Hey, I'm not THAT old!" Blitz protested.
"Oh yeah?" Loona replied. "Then how come you're already graying at the temples, old man?"
"Just go already." Blitz sighed.
"Alright alright, don't get so grumpy old man." Loona said. "See ya dipshit. Oh and by the way, there's some leftover pizza in the fridge if you want." Loona then started to walk to Pentagram City.
"Fuck yeah baby!" Blitz exclaimed as he rushed into his apartment. "Free pizza for me! There better not be any fucking anchovies on it, I swear to satan."
Soon enough, Loona arrived at pentagram city. The city was filled with many different sinner demons with different appearances. They were at each other's throats and messing shit up as they were throwing trash cans and broken bottles at each other.
"Good satan, this place is a dumb" Loona thought to herself as she made her way to the nightclub.
Soon enough, she arrived at Nightmare Nightclub and walked inside, greeted with the sound of loud blasting disco music. There were many sinner demons having a good time that night. They were getting drunk, snorting cocaine, and once in a while they would go into the sex room and start fucking each other. Loona made her way over to the bar and sat down.
"What can I get for you tonight ma'am?" The bartender asked her.
"Just get me something strong. I don't care, I just need to clear my mind." Loona said.
"O-okay then. Vodka it is?" The bartender asked.
"Fucking VODKA?!" Loona exclaimed. "That shit will not cut it. I need something stronger. Give some everclear or whiskey or hard liquor, I don't know, just something to drown out the shitty woes of my life."
"Okay okay, no need to be a bitch about it." The bartender sighed, and went to go get Loona's drink.
While Loona was waiting for her drink, she heard a loud sneeze next to her. She looked next to her and saw another sinner demon with a humanoid like appearance with horns rubbing his nose.
"Hey lady," The demon said. "Mind getting the fuck out of here?"
"Um, do you have a problem with me, dipshit?" Loona said to him.
"Um yes, I'm severely allergic to hellhounds!" The demon said to her.
Loona looked very offended. "Listen asshat" She began, getting up in his face "I had a rough fucking day today and I need a drink to clear out my mind and relieve myself from all the stress I have to deal with! So why don't YOU get fuck out of here then?"
"Ugh, go fuck yourself you cunty mutt." The demon got up and walked away.
Loona was very offended at what the demon said to her. Another thing that she absolutely hated was the way hellhounds are treated outside of the Gluttony Ring. Hellhounds are rock bottom on the demon totem pole. They're basically treated like pets and not actually people. Sure, Blitz does treat Loona like an actual person, but as we know, Loona sometimes can't stand him.
While she was still thinking about her stressful life, the bartender walked up to her with her drink.
"Here you go. One glass of everclear." The bartender said.
"Sweet, now we're talking." Loona smirked as she began to down her beverage. "Ahhh, that's the stuff…"
As she drank, she started to think about her job again. "Ugh, dammit, not even the strongest alcohol could ease my mind." She complained to herself. "Again, I have no idea why I still work in that shit hole with all the annoying clients and obnoxious coworkers, and the only thing that made me feel useful in my job was taken away from me by that fucking bird." Loona took another sip of her drink and continued her rant. "And also, who does Blitz even think he is? I'm 22, and he has no right to control my life choices. I'm just so fed up with him at this point." Loona sighed to herself as she took another shot of everclear. "I just wish I had a better job. Something that's actually worthwhile. I want a job where I can actually make a name for myself, and not just be known as a common hellhound. Filing paperwork and answering calls from assholes is just so fucking tedious. I just can't take this endless cycle of bullshit anymore."
Loona took another sip. Just then, she noticed something heading towards the bar. It looked like a large cloud of red smoke. Loona thought it was either some special effects the club put on, or she might just be hallucinating. "What the fuck is that?" She asked, as the cloud started to get closer to her.
"THAT FUCKING SLUT!" Exclaimed a male voice from inside the cloud. "Why does he always WALK OUT ON ME AND INSTEAD HANG OUT WITH LUCIFER'S BITCH OF A DAUGHTER?!"
Loona started to become intrigued. "Who is that? Well, he must be pretty pissed if something is eating him." She said curiously.
Just then, a mysterious figure emerged from the cloud of smoke. It appeared to be a very tall demon who had a moth-like appearance. He had four arms and light blue skin. He was also wearing a red coat with black and white striped fur around the opening of it and white fur with small hearts around the collar of it. He also wore a red top hat with a black and white striped feather in it and a pair of red heart-shaped glasses, and was holding a cigarette in one of his hands. The demon walked up to the bar and sat down next to Loona.
"Bartender, give me your strongest drink." The demon said, as the bartender went to get the demon a drink.
Loona looked very intrigued by the demon's appearance and slowly looked away. The demon then noticed her.
"Oh hello there young lady." The demon said. "What brings you here tonight?"
Loona took another sip of her drink as she spoke to the demon. "Oh, just trying to destress myself a little. My job is absolute hell, so I decided to get a little wasted tonight."
The demon smirked. "Oh ho ho, you must have it rough then."
"Yeah" Loona said. "What about you?"
"Oh you have no fucking idea." Said the demon. "My million dollar star WALKED OUT ON ME AGAIN!"
"Damn, that sucks." Loona said. "Who is this "million dollar star" of yours anyway?"
"Oh the star? Fucking Angel Dust!" The demon exclaimed. "He walked out on me in the middle of a fucking shoot because he had business to attend to at Lucifer's bitchass daughter's shitty hotel!"
Loona was surprised when she heard that name. "Hold on…Angel Dust?" Loona asked. "The famous porn star? And he's staying at a hotel run by the princess of hell? What business does he even have at some dumbass hotel?"
"I don't know and I don't care!" The demon growled. "But when I get my hands on that cocksucking motherfucker I'm going to…ngh!"
"Here's your drink." The bartender said, giving the demon his drink.
"Ah, thank you." The demon took a sip of his drink and started to calm down. "Ahhh, much better."
Loona was very intrigued by the demon's behavior. "Damn" she thought. "This guy must have some pretty hard beef with Angel Dust." She chuckled to herself and took another shot of her drink.
The demon then took a smoke from his cigarette and looked at Loona. "Anyways, you're here because you hate your job, correct?" He asked.
Loona rolled her eyes and sighed. "Yeah, you have no fucking idea how stressful my job is." She said. "Always filing boring paperwork, answering phone calls from dumbass clients, not to mention I have to put up with very obnoxious co-workers. I'm just surrounded by idiots in that shit hole." Loona took another shot of her drink.
The demon then gave a sinister smirk. "Hmmm…well," he said. "I could offer you a better job if you want."
"Oh really." Loona said. "What kind of job are we talking about here?"
The demon took another smoke. "Well…I could make you a star…"
This made Loona's ears perk up, as she was surprised when she heard this offer. She tried to keep a straight face as she replied. "A star huh? Like, an actress or something?" She asked.
"Absolutely my dear…" The demon said with a smile.
Loona's tail started to wag but then she cleared her throat and remained calm. "So, before we start talking about this whole, "star business", what's your name? I gotta know who I'm dealing with before I get into this business."
"Oh right, where are my manners?" The demon replied while taking another smoke. "My name is Valentino. But you can just call me "Val." It's a pleasure to meet you Ms…"
"Loona. My name is Loona." Loona replied.