Chapter 9
Locate the Source
(Youngest Timeline)
"Yo dudes, the only way to start a massive research mission and search expedition is to start with a plate full of tacos. And the best place to begin is Gravity Falls' own Bell del Taco!"
The sign at the drive-in read, 'Yo quiero chorro!'
"Hey, Soos, then how come we never went and got a bunch of tacos before any of our adventures?" Dipper asked.
"Yeah, we only got sympathy nachos and tacos after Pacifica kicked my butt at minigolf," Mabel added.
"You said that with surprising ease," Dipper observed, narrowing his eyes.
"Dipper, we saved the world from destruction. Some things hold a little more weight," his twin replied sagely.
Soos chuckled through the back window of his truck. "You dudes keep me on my toes so; we're always jumping from one adventure and shenanigan to the next that we never had any time to drop by the Bell del Taco! But this time, we're doing it right. Especially when all the timelines and multiverses are on the line."
The rest of the eclectic gathering sat jammed in the back of Soos' truck. Luz swam her hand through the air currents while the others listened carefully. There was so much still to learn about these other folk. Even with their little Mabel-led powwow, there was so much they didn't know about each other. These groups were still very alien.
"Remind me again why I'm not allowed to fly?" Eda complained loudly.
"Sorry sugar toots," Stan said gravely. "The mayor of Gravity Falls passed a law forbidding the talk of all weirdness that happened during Weirdmageddon. Unfortunately, that also means that everyone is on the lookout to quash anything that is too out of the ordinary. Witches flying around qualifies."
"Stan Pines obeying the law? Are we sure he's not sick?" Wendy asked, shocked.
"No, he's just trying to keep his ex as close as possible in the hopes of rekindling an old flame," Sasha commented flatly. "Super pathetic and embarrassing."
"Totes!" Anne and Marcy chimed in.
"Alright, dogs, y'all just shout out what tacos you want and we'll get the chow before we head- Uh, Where are we heading again?" Soos asked Ford.
"I'll take the Triple Grande Butt-Burner Combo," Ford replied. "And we're going to get started with checking out some old caverns that I explored when I first got to Gravity Falls. I had the entrance filled in so no one would ever come across information about Bill Cipher. But given our need for intel and all things weird, we might as well start there. And we should be just fine since Bill is gone."
Everyone ordered their preferred tacos. The witches and frogs were especially eager to dig into human tacos again. Though Luz did try to warn them all that Bell del Taco was just a horrible knockoff of the genuine Mexican perfection.
"Also, when it warns you of diarrhea, you might want to watch out for that! I mean, everyone knows that you undertake certain risks when you walk into a hole-in-the-wall restaurant, but those are usually the best places to get fine Hispanic cuisine outside of your family," Luz said too quickly.
"Ah! I'm Thai!" Anne said confidently, tearing into a taco. "If it isn't burning and coming up while I'm eating it, then nothing is going to burn going down and out."
Dipper whispered to Wendy, "Don't tell them that we've built an immunity to this stuff over the summer."
After they got all their food, Soos took them all out of town. Unfortunately, the traffic lights kept stalling them and Eda grew antsy being so close to her ex. She began complaining that it would be faster to just fly ahead.
"You don't even know where you're going!" Ford snapped.
"If I get lost, I'll just catch up with you. This happens all the time for me," she snorted, unconcerned.
"You know Hop Pop," Sprig muttered. "A little while ago, I would have flown off with this mad woman in a heartbeat looking for adventure, but after everything we've done, I'm glad to have a grounded, boring, old frog like you in my life."
"Ah, thanks Sprig- Wait! What was that about old and boring!?"
"Stan wasn't kidding about this town," Dipper warned Eda. "This place is crazy weird and everyone is really traumatized by what happened during Weirdmageddon. I wouldn't try breaking the law with anything magical just yet."
"Until we're in the woods!" Mabel added. "Because there's no cops in the woods!"
"Mabel, I am so proud of you!" Stan croaked.
"Cops, mops, shmops! No one is going to tell me what I can and can't do!" Eda proclaimed loudly, standing up as Soos took a particularly sharp turn. Luz and King had to haul her back in. "If I want to fly, I'm going to take off!"
Owlbert spread his wings and took flight. Eda hopped on with a whoop and sped ahead. Sirens suddenly began blaring and cop cars appeared from every side. Some shouted, "Burn the witch!" This was followed up with nets thrown over Eda, bringing her down and pinning her against the road.
"Witch hunters!" the adolescent witches gasped.
"Nope," Mabel said, unconcerned. "This town just has a long and storied tradition of burning witches. That nearly happened to me once!"
"This is why I live in the city and not in backwards Podunkville!" Sasha grumbled.
"Employing smoke grenades!" Ford shouted. "Stanely, get ready to cut her free! Soos keep driving straight ahead!"
Soos plowed his trusty truck into the middle of the chaos. Ford threw his smoke grenades as Stan flicked a knife out of his suit. He slashed the nets away and pulled Eda and her palisman into the already stuffed truck cap. Officers shouted in confusion tried to organize, but Soos put the pedal to the metal and quickly escaped.
"Perhaps we should keep you dudes hidden for now," Anne told the Plantars, trying to cover them up.
They followed her lead and got down low while chowing on their tacos. The truck continued to speed out of town and soon Soos was taking specific directions from Ford. When they arrived an old, rotting campsite, all the teens and frogs, aside from the Gravity Falls crowd were charging for the bushes and the questionable outhouse.
"Just watch out that you don't use any of the poison ivy to wipe!" Dipper warned.
"UGH! Is that what this is!?" Amity screamed in the distance.
"Getting some wiping leaves ready for everyone!" Willow called from behind a bush. Large vines with wide, soft leaves snaked their way around to give everyone some relief.
Though some problems still occurred. Hunter squatted next to some angry gnomes, who were even more aggravated when Montezuma's Revenge got all over their card game. Marcy got distracted and was nearly kidnapped by a group of cutthroat fairies. Lucky for her, Sprig was nearby and ate them up with a few snaps of his tongue. He began hovering after that.
"Look guys! I can fly!"
"Just keep thinking happy thoughts," Ford told him absently, using some strange tools to break apart the barrier he had put into place.
The entrance to the ancient cave had been filled in with cement and rebar. Ford had then covered it with plenty of earth and vegetation to make it look as though no one else had ever been there. Dipper, Wendy, and Soos cleared the muck away with shovels as Ford's little devices caused the cement to crumble with vibrations.
"When I realized that Bill was possessing me, I figured that anyone else could easily be taken in by that devious isosceles triangle. So, I covered up any trace of him I could. It wasn't just all those icons in the shack, Bill left a lot for others to find him by. He was determined to break into our world."
"Duh, we already know this," Stan harrumphed, using another shovel to clear all the debris Ford was making.
"I was explaining for them," Ford fired back, nodding to the rest of the group.
"The people who are so messed up by Bell del Taco's questionable meats and spices that they look as if they've had the souls wrung out of them?"
His twin brother glanced back and saw Polly working to stuff Anne's soul back into her. King was scooting his butt on the ground, seeking relief. Sasha was heaving by a tree and getting rubbed on the back by Gus. Sprig flew off to help rescue Hunter.
"Hmm, you've got a point there."
The Pines finished reopening the cave before waiting for everyone else to recover.
"Soos, buddy, that is one heck of a way to treat your new friends," Anne gasped, coming back to life.
"Maybe that's why they haven't had tacos before adventures," Polly said shrewdly.
"Nah, trust me, once that feeling passes, you'll feel more alive that you've ever experienced before!" Soos assured them.
"You humans are beyond cruel!" King complained. "I'd take the Titan Trappers and Belos over this stomach and rectum torture any day!"
"I've got to admit, even with my Costa Rican background, I feel absolutely sick," Luz groaned.
Once everyone was gathered, rehydrated, and feeling good enough to crawl into the cave, Ford led the way in. The cave wound its way into the earth like a worm seeking the cold and shelter. As the large group climbed down, the Plantars began asking questions.
"Soooo, why did you lock up this tunnel again? Sprig asked.
"Because I didn't want anyone else to stumble across Bill and make the same horrible mistakes that I had and summon him," Ford answered patiently.
"Too bad that didn't work out with Gideon," Mabel muttered to Dipper.
"Why didn't you destroy what's down here?" Polly pestered. "I think it would have worked out waaaay better than just sealing up the tunnel. Anyone could get in!"
Ford had to admit that the evolving pollywog had a good point there. He replied, "As an accredited academic, I thought that destroying any primary source material was beyond heinous. Since then… My opinions have changed where Bill is concerned. But given the, um, general level of intelligence possessed by this town, Soos and Wendy easily excluded-"
"Ah, thanks Mr. Pines' brother!"
Wendy smirked, "Whatever. I won't let it get to my head."
"-I didn't feel too concerned that anyone here in town was going to figure out about this particular cavern. It was already covered by foliage and a bunch of roots. There were old legends about what the aboriginals left behind, and that helped me find this place. But it wasn't that easy. I felt justified in just covering it up."
"And you're sure that no one else knew about this place?" Hop Pop confirmed.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Ford groaned, "Okay, out with it. What are you frogs getting at?"
Sprig pointed at the ground. "Look, there's soft indents in the ground. This cave may not look it, but it's still alive. It's pretty moist in here." Sasha shuddered at the word 'moist.' "The ground is soft and keeps all the footprints in the mud. Look! One set is identical to the ones you're leaving behind. But there is another pair that is made of sneakers. Hole in the right sole."
He got down and licked the ground, chewing the dirt. Hop Pop and Polly followed suit. They hemmed and hawed as they tasted the Earth. A couple of the witches were about to protest, but Anne stopped them. "No, let them cook."
After a halfway suspenseful, halfway awkward moment, Sprig spat out the muck and said, "The other human who walked into here was just out of adolescence, a little smelly, ate way to many Chipackers, and had something on him that smelled like skunk."
"Damn hippies," Ford grumbled.
"Wondrous weeds of nature," Stan sighed.
"We should probably share this information with the rest of the group," Dipper said, hurriedly taking notes of Sprig's assessment.
"That's my boy," Hop Pop said proudly.
"Nah, he missed the detail that this guy didn't wear any deodorant. Stiiiinkyyyyy!"
Hunter knelt next to Sprig and took the frog's hand. "First, you rescue me from a horde of angry gnomes, and then you can run a full diagnostic by eating mud. I have grown lax as a tracker. Please, teach me your ways!"
Anne stepped up to Hunter and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Dude, just wait until they teach you the Hunting Dance. It will change your life!"
"I can't wait!" he squeaked with excitement.
Perturbed by the Plantars' findings, Ford picked up the pace. It wasn't much longer until they arrived at the ancient painting scrawled all over the cave. Ford pointed to the mural depicting Bill visiting the ancient people who once populated the vale. He explained for the rest of the group the same stuff he had to Dipper earlier that summer. Gravity Falls was a weirdness magnet. Something about the valley was so powerful that it drew all things weird to it, even across time and space. Other dimensions easily found themselves flowing into Gravity Falls.
"The Boiling Isles even have a connection to this place," Ford told the witches.
"Yeah, you're right about that," Eda confirmed. "Though getting here is a bit of a pain without using the old door."
"Wait! There are roads between our worlds?" Luz gasped.
"If only we had known," Willow said, struck with bitter memories of how hard it had been to be separated from her dads and everyone else suffering under the Collector's brief but chaotic reign.
"Again, it's not that easy," Eda said hurriedly. "Trust me, it's a wonky connection and pretty dangerous. When I last tried to use it as an experiment, just in case I ever lost the key to use the portal back home, I got separated from Owlbert. Trust me! That was no fun!"
"There are plenty of unstable rifts that connect Earth briefly to other dimensions," Ford continued explaining. "I wanted to map them out, but I was completely wrapped up at the time with my theory of unified weirdness. And to that end I sought out Bill, who at the time I thought was my muse for better understanding the universe and all its myriad forms of weirdness.
"Sadly, I was deceived and he used me to pierce the barrier between here and the Nightmare Realm, the one place that does not have a natural rift that allows its denizens and us to interact. Bill served as the mediator in that regard. And through him, far more evil and insanity poured into Gravity Falls. Even now, there have been some peculiar disturbances."
"Like meeting my evil self!" Mabel said.
"I wouldn't be too proud of that," Dipper coughed.
"That's a fine history lessen and everything, but why are we in this musty cave looking at ancient paintings?" King demanded. He wound his paws together, indicating to hurry it up.
"I'll never get over how close he sounds to Bill," Ford muttered. "What I'm hoping to discover is if the ancients left behind any other clues for how we might be able to harness the power of the Falls. Its natural weirdness and how it is connected to all the other worlds and dimensions out there means it could be possible to make all the ripple effects that are bouncing about as a result of William Cryptic's interference come back to the valley. And if that's possible, we might even be able to call that bastard back here so we can all deal with him!"
"That sounds like a real stretch," Sasha huffed. "How are we supposed to learn anything from a bunch of old paintings and scribbles that we can't read! And why would you want us to start here of all places if it's so dangerous?"
Ford became flustered, but Marcy came to his rescue. "No, no, no! It all makes sense! Look, there's a prophecy painted over here!"
She pointed to the Cipher Wheel. Dipper looked up at it curiously. They had never figured out for sure if that part of the prophecy would have actually worked to defeat Bill. Stan and Ford's sibling scuffle had ruined that plan, nearly dooming everyone until Stan tricked Bill and got his memory erased, thereby killing the demon.
"That's a good eye you've got there," Ford commended.
"Oh, just wait," Anne said. "She's about to get on a roll!"
Marcy leaped about from wall to wall, taking in the paintings. "Wow! These natives came up with all kinds of fantastic predictions. A lot of looks messy and contradictory, but there's a pattern here. I'm sure of it!"
She scribbled down everything she had seen onto pages of her notebook. When she was done, she stood back and began comparing her copy to the originals. Marcy sucked on her teeth trying to figure it out. There was a pattern there; she knew it in her bones!
Mabel came to her side and looked at the drawings. "Here, mind if I have a shot?"
"Go ahead."
"Sometimes… You just need… To be a little silly," Mable said, folding the sketch into a paper fortune teller. She held it up to Marcy and said, "Alright, choose!"
"Ooo! I want to try!" Luz said, bounding forward. "Okay, five! And then blue!"
"Huh?" her friends all said together.
Mabel obliged and moved the paper. The adults moved on to inspect more of the walls while Dipper became excited. He had seen Mabel's insane silliness solve an unbeatable puzzle before. If this Marcy girl said there was a pattern, Mabel would miraculously find a way to uncover it.
"Looks like you will find a dark and handsome figure in your future. One with eyes burning with passion," Mabel read.
"I can't wait to get taller," Amity said a little too loudly.
"Sorry Mabel, but that doesn't look right," Dipper said.
Marcy jumped up and down eagerly. "Oh! Oh! Try this! The number three, and the word is frog!"
Mabel played around with the fortune teller and replied, "A llama will fight a demonic Dorito chip…"
"Darn it! I was hoping we might get something about Amphibia through that!"
"It's okay Mar-Mar," Anne soothed. "I haven't seen any frogs, toads, or newts up here anyway."
Wendy stepped forward and suggested somewhat haltingly. "How about you try the words 'Mother' and 'Cryptic.'"
It took Mabel a little bit longer to spell out the words and tumble the fortune teller around. When she finally finished and unfolded the message, she got something unexpected.
"Shake the demon's hand and make a final deal. Take in the evil of three worlds, become the balance to the usurper and drag him screaming to hell."
"What?" Dipper yelped. "How are you getting all of that-?"
He choked as he saw the words plain as day, there in all the scribbled and drawings Marcy had made. The other teens crowded around, awed and a little disturbed by what they saw. The instructions were all right there. And the illustrations had somehow contorted together to give the image of Bill an arm and a hand.
The invitation to make a literal devil's bargain…
"Wendy, how did you know to choose those words?" Ford asked, shaken.
The teenage girl trembled and answered shakily, "My mother is somewhere out there, and this William Cryptic guy is behind it all. I… I'm really hoping that we can find her."
"Desire is a potent element in some of the darkest magics out there," Eda said seriously. "The desire for power, for love, for wealth and fame, but even good desires can be twisted by evil magic and turned into something truly horrifying."
Luz and King shared a look. They knew that Eda was speaking from painful experience, and she hadn't even been the one to use that magic.
"Nah-uh! Nope! No way!" Stan said fiercely crossing his arms. "We just went through an apocalypse to stop that dapper Dorito chip and you spent who knows how much time to get my brains unscrambled! We are not going to Bill for help!"
Hop Pop asked if he could see Mabel's paper fortune teller. After inspecting it, he said, "Well aside from my overwhelming desire to shred this paper doohickie into little shreds and then set them on fire, I don't think that any great evil would outright invite us to make a deal with it to defeat another. Having dealt with cult leaders, cannibals, and evil kings, I think I can confidently say that most conniving bad guys like elaborate plans. I don't see that here. Plus, weren't we here to find a way to defeat William Cipher? Why not try this out?"
"Wow, that's really bold of you, Hop Pop."
"Look here, Anne, we're dealing with multiple worlds crossing, beings like gods warring over us, and I no longer have the brainpower to process all of this insanity. I'm willing to throw a little caution to the wind and trust that we'll somehow pull through."
Dipper summoned his courage and said, "Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Ford, we need to find Bill Cipher and make a deal."
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It didn't take them long at all to make to Bill Cipher's resting place. Ford had personally made sure to find it after Weirdmageddon. The statue was a husk, devoid of power and a soul. Bill Cipher was gone as far as he could ascertain. But there was always the lingering possibility that the demon had found a way to cheat death.
Dipper was the one to first approach the statue and its proffered hand.
"Dipper, I can't let you do this," Ford began saying.
The brave boy shook his head and said determinedly, "Grunkle Ford, if this is a trap, Bill would want your mind before anyone else's here. He's already been tricked by Stan and probably won't fall for it again. But for me, well… We know that Mabel can easily defeat Bipper."
"That's true," Mabel said, nodding solemnly.
"Bipper?" Marcy asked.
"Bill and Dipper smooshed together," Soos clarified. "The last time it happened-"
"The only time it happened!" Dipper snapped.
"-was when Mabel was throwing this dope sock operetta for this dude she was crushing on. Dipper had to possess a sock puppet of himself to speak with her and then she fought Bipper. Mr. Pines has it all on tape."
"And I'm still waiting for the right time to upload it and become internet famous! And rich!" Stan said.
"Which means that you haven't figured out how to use YouTube," Wendy drawled.
"Shush you!"
Everyone else from Amphibia and the Boiling isles shared significant looks between each other. These Pines and friends were nuts! Still, Spring hopped forward and offered, "I could do it! This triangular demon probably has no idea how to deal with a frog-kid's brain!"
"See what you're inspiring your grandson to do?" Anne demanded of Hop Pop.
Meanwhile, Polly whispered loudly, "Do it. Do it! Do it!"
Dipper stepped ahead of Sprig and said, "It has to be me. I have dealt with this guy a lot by now. And again… My noodle arms aren't exactly going to hurt anyone if Bill does possess me and tries to put up a fight."
"That's hardcore and honest," Sasha said appreciatively. "How old are you again?"
"I'm almost 13, so… Technically not a teen."
"Eh, works for me," Sasha said with a shrug.
It was then Anne and Marcy's turn to share a significant expression between them.
Dipper dismissed all of this and quickly takes Bill's outstretched hand before anyone more protested or tried to stop him. Clasping flesh to stone, Dipper's vision went black. He blinked and for a second he saw a cloaked and hooded figure shaking hands will a very live Bill Cipher. Words crossed between, sealing a Contract. Two mighty beings rising to an agreement, one that could shake the Realms to their foundation if it went badly.
Dipper blinked again and found himself hurtling through the cosmos at an incredible speed. His senses were bombarded with tons of information that he couldn't do anything with. He suddenly appeared before the Axolotl. Memories of coming across this amazing, cosmic beast flooded back to Dipper how could he have ever forgotten coming across this majestic being during his and Mabel's quest to get the Time Treasure?
"Uh… Hi!" Dipper squeaked.
"Dipper Pines, if you keep going, you will become a vessel for a shade of Bill Cipher. And if your allies proceed with the plans you found in the cave, others will become reliquaries for lost pieces of their greatest foes. They already know who they are." The Axolotl sighed and added, "It will be unpleasant. Are you sure you wish to proceed?"
Now that Dipper heard that, he would be lying if he said he didn't have second thoughts! But then again… They had a universe to save! They had already done that with Weirdmageddon. And seeing all the other versions of himself and the others, who were still going and fighting to save the world again, the youngest Dipper had no excuse to not be a hero again. Besides, there were a lot of cute girls he might show off for.
"I'm ready!" he finally said, grateful that he didn't squeak this time.
"We shall see," the Axolotl said, pulling to the side.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Bill's horrible voice filled Dipper's mind and ears. A shadow of his greatest foe fell upon him and before he could utter a cry or reflexively throw up his hands, Dipper was completely consumed.